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1
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(Loud clanking)
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,840
(Louder clanking)
3
00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:15,086
What the hell is going on out here?
4
00:00:15,097 --> 00:00:16,879
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?
5
00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:18,825
I was trying so hard to be quiet.
6
00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:23,388
I can't sleep, Sofia.
I'm so upset about Josh.
7
00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:26,289
You said time would heal all
wounds, but it's not working.
8
00:00:26,867 --> 00:00:28,462
It's been two hours.
9
00:00:29,641 --> 00:00:32,437
Yes, but two hours feels
like forever when...
10
00:00:32,448 --> 00:00:35,699
the guy you like can't kiss you,
and you're so confused and alone,
11
00:00:35,710 --> 00:00:37,891
and all you want are
answers, Sofia. Answers!
12
00:00:38,842 --> 00:00:42,868
Hey, maybe the answers
will come to you in a dream.
13
00:00:42,879 --> 00:00:45,310
- Let's find out.
- No!
14
00:00:45,926 --> 00:00:48,778
How am I supposed to go to work on
Monday and act like nothing happened?
15
00:00:48,789 --> 00:00:51,872
I mean, what am I supposed to say
to him? How can I even look at him?
16
00:00:51,956 --> 00:00:53,351
Call in sick.
17
00:00:53,734 --> 00:00:55,134
But then I can't see him.
18
00:00:56,701 --> 00:00:59,625
Gabi, we're gonna have to
pace out your angst, okay?
19
00:00:59,636 --> 00:01:00,842
It's Sunday morning.
20
00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:02,209
Early, early Sunday morning.
21
00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:04,484
We're gonna have so much
time to talk about this.
22
00:01:04,496 --> 00:01:07,397
Yeah, but... but what about
on Wednesday when you and Jake
23
00:01:07,408 --> 00:01:10,074
go to Florida for your cousin's
quincea?era and I'm alone?
24
00:01:10,085 --> 00:01:11,536
Who am I going to talk to then? Huh?
25
00:01:11,547 --> 00:01:12,847
What am I gonna do then?
26
00:01:12,858 --> 00:01:14,859
I'll just be a FaceTime away.
27
00:01:14,870 --> 00:01:17,787
Any minute, any hour you
need me, you're my girl.
28
00:01:17,798 --> 00:01:18,998
You know you always
29
00:01:19,009 --> 00:01:20,057
- come first with me.
- (Door opens)
30
00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:22,240
Oh, what would I do without you?
31
00:01:22,251 --> 00:01:23,641
- Sofia.
- Right here!
32
00:01:28,717 --> 00:01:31,452
(Theme song playing)
33
00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:35,853
She's in the spotlight
34
00:01:35,864 --> 00:01:37,615
And she turned my head
35
00:01:37,626 --> 00:01:39,661
She'd run a red light
36
00:01:39,672 --> 00:01:41,314
'Cause she bad like that
37
00:01:41,325 --> 00:01:44,948
I like that ooh,
baby, ooh, baby, baby
38
00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:48,102
-
I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby
- Sync/corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com
39
00:01:48,113 --> 00:01:49,380
(Both giggling)
40
00:01:53,824 --> 00:01:56,352
- Hey, Martina.
- Hey.
41
00:01:56,363 --> 00:01:58,368
You girls were just in here last week.
42
00:01:58,379 --> 00:02:00,766
What's the problem, broken
nail or broken heart?
43
00:02:00,777 --> 00:02:02,034
- Heart.
- Nail.
44
00:02:03,019 --> 00:02:05,781
Do you think you can squeeze
us in for a day of beauty?
45
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,683
Mija, if I could squeeze
my tatas into this dress,
46
00:02:08,694 --> 00:02:10,537
I can squeeze in anything.
47
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:11,865
(Both chuckle)
48
00:02:12,141 --> 00:02:14,532
- What do you need?
- (Gabi) To be happy again.
49
00:02:15,114 --> 00:02:20,632
Which starts with you helping me pick
out a nail color for the quincea?era.
50
00:02:20,643 --> 00:02:21,843
Yay.
51
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,333
What's wrong, chica?
52
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,624
What kind of problems
can a young, skinny,
53
00:02:26,635 --> 00:02:28,403
gorgeous white girl like you have?
54
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,093
- It's Josh.
- Oh, here we go.
55
00:02:32,147 --> 00:02:34,900
I mean, we finally get together
and he can't even kiss me.
56
00:02:34,911 --> 00:02:37,604
After a year of waiting?
Nah, I don't get it.
57
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,892
(Gasps) Maybe you need a new look.
58
00:02:39,903 --> 00:02:42,307
You know, some highlights, a blowout,
59
00:02:42,318 --> 00:02:44,545
gel manicure with some pinky bling.
60
00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:46,366
We happen to be having a special.
61
00:02:46,590 --> 00:02:49,217
No, Martina. All the bling in the
world isn't gonna get Josh over
62
00:02:49,228 --> 00:02:51,940
- his commitment issues.
- Aye, than I say forget him.
63
00:02:51,951 --> 00:02:54,778
You know, there are plenty
of other fish in the sea,
64
00:02:54,789 --> 00:02:56,072
and you know how to catch one?
65
00:02:56,083 --> 00:02:58,257
With some highlights, a blowout,
66
00:02:58,268 --> 00:03:00,202
gel manicure with some pinky bling.
67
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:01,694
Did I mention we're having a special?
68
00:03:01,705 --> 00:03:03,736
(Both giggle)
69
00:03:03,747 --> 00:03:06,686
Okay, what's going on in there?
Everybody keeps coming out giggling.
70
00:03:06,697 --> 00:03:09,342
Oh. (Giggles) I'll tell you why.
71
00:03:09,653 --> 00:03:11,688
We just put in a spray tanning booth,
72
00:03:11,699 --> 00:03:14,556
and the vent connects to the
therapist office above us,
73
00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:19,090
so now whoever gets a spray tan can
hear every word of the entire session.
74
00:03:19,101 --> 00:03:21,629
That is a total invasion of privacy.
75
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,863
- Well...
- I want to hear the details.
76
00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:25,092
(Giggles)
77
00:03:25,103 --> 00:03:28,170
So last week I heard a
man who wanted to know
78
00:03:28,181 --> 00:03:29,792
what it feels like to be a woman.
79
00:03:29,803 --> 00:03:32,284
So, after the session, I intercepted him
80
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,791
in the stairwell, and do
you know what I offered him?
81
00:03:35,013 --> 00:03:38,127
(All) Some highlights, a blowout,
a gel manicure with some...
82
00:03:38,138 --> 00:03:39,826
- We get it, Martina.
- Aye.
83
00:03:39,837 --> 00:03:42,305
No, no, no, no. I got it.
84
00:03:42,316 --> 00:03:43,716
Therapy. That's the answer.
85
00:03:43,727 --> 00:03:45,466
Josh should go to that
therapist upstairs to
86
00:03:45,477 --> 00:03:46,981
deal with his commitment issues.
87
00:03:46,992 --> 00:03:48,734
Well, I think therapy's a great idea,
88
00:03:48,745 --> 00:03:50,232
but why would you want
him to go to that one?
89
00:03:50,243 --> 00:03:52,894
Then every woman in here
would know about his problems.
90
00:03:53,101 --> 00:03:54,746
Not every woman.
91
00:03:55,028 --> 00:03:56,661
(Whispers) Just this one.
92
00:04:03,705 --> 00:04:05,050
Can someone measure me?
93
00:04:05,061 --> 00:04:06,570
I will! I will!
94
00:04:06,905 --> 00:04:09,208
No, it's my turn!
95
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:11,670
So what do you need, baby?
96
00:04:11,681 --> 00:04:14,195
Ah, need to rent a tux for
Sofia's niece's quincea?era.
97
00:04:14,206 --> 00:04:15,806
Oh! I said it!
98
00:04:15,817 --> 00:04:17,217
Quin-cetar...
99
00:04:17,228 --> 00:04:18,514
Nope. Lost it.
100
00:04:18,933 --> 00:04:21,424
I gotta get this right. I'm
meeting her whole family.
101
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,905
I've been practicing though
with Rosetta Stone all morning.
102
00:04:23,916 --> 00:04:25,116
- Check this out.
- Mm-hmm.
103
00:04:25,127 --> 00:04:27,541
Bonsoir, Madame Rodriguez.
104
00:04:27,552 --> 00:04:29,283
- (Loud kissing)
- (Speaking French)
105
00:04:29,494 --> 00:04:31,862
- How's that sound?
- Like French.
106
00:04:32,515 --> 00:04:33,715
(Groans)
107
00:04:35,202 --> 00:04:37,445
So I bought Gabi and I
this deluxe couples massage
108
00:04:37,456 --> 00:04:39,042
for tomorrow night, but
after everything that's
109
00:04:39,053 --> 00:04:40,774
- happened...
- Oh, I'll take it!
110
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,512
Just because you're as big as two
people doesn't make you a couple.
111
00:04:47,938 --> 00:04:49,138
Fine.
112
00:04:49,543 --> 00:04:50,767
You want it?
113
00:04:51,144 --> 00:04:52,763
Come and get it.
114
00:04:54,324 --> 00:04:55,614
Fine, we'll split it.
115
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,712
I'll leave the tip,
you hand in the coupon.
116
00:04:59,727 --> 00:05:01,185
If you can find it in there.
117
00:05:04,284 --> 00:05:05,905
Hey, is that Gabi?
118
00:05:05,916 --> 00:05:07,825
Do I hear Gabi? Aye, there she is!
119
00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:11,487
Um, I've been waiting
for you all morning.
120
00:05:11,498 --> 00:05:13,555
Not that I'm complaining. I mean,
why would I complain in any way?
121
00:05:13,566 --> 00:05:18,040
You're the most awesome, understanding
woman, nay, person, I've ever met.
122
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,471
How was your weekend?
123
00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:23,560
Well, after the you-couldn't-kiss-me
incident, it was sad,
124
00:05:23,571 --> 00:05:26,961
but then it got un-sad because I
figured out a way to solve our problem,
125
00:05:26,972 --> 00:05:28,414
nay, your problem.
126
00:05:29,142 --> 00:05:30,342
So did I.
127
00:05:30,353 --> 00:05:33,320
So, yesterday I had the whole day
to think about my commitment issues,
128
00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:35,291
and how I could fix
said commitment issues.
129
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,493
So, I did a search
for commitment issues.
130
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,022
Here's what I got.
131
00:05:39,033 --> 00:05:40,233
Shwa!
132
00:05:41,047 --> 00:05:43,140
Wow. Impressive.
133
00:05:43,151 --> 00:05:44,351
(Scoffs)
134
00:05:46,297 --> 00:05:47,597
Thank you.
135
00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:50,676
Thank you so much for that.
136
00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:53,727
That was chapter three: Acknowledgment.
137
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:57,009
Wow, uh, you know what this shows me?
138
00:05:57,020 --> 00:05:58,705
That you really want to help yourself.
139
00:05:58,716 --> 00:06:01,392
- I do.
- And I want to help you help you.
140
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:04,741
And I have a way to do that
without all of this pesky reading.
141
00:06:04,857 --> 00:06:06,505
How about a real, live person?
142
00:06:06,516 --> 00:06:08,323
Someone who will listen to you,
143
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:10,130
and who will guide you, and...
144
00:06:10,141 --> 00:06:11,813
Ba Ba Na Na
145
00:06:13,418 --> 00:06:15,074
This is a punch card
for buy 10 manicures,
146
00:06:15,085 --> 00:06:16,417
- get one free.
- Ooh.
147
00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:20,415
Ba Ba Na Na
148
00:06:21,604 --> 00:06:24,441
"Dr. Kenneth Stonehouse,
Clinical Psychologist".
149
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,268
I hear he's great and
he has a reputation
150
00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,822
of getting to the problem
and fixing it lickety-split.
151
00:06:29,741 --> 00:06:31,109
- Lickety-split, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
152
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,587
It says so on the back of the card.
153
00:06:34,531 --> 00:06:36,493
"Problems solved lickety-split". Mmm.
154
00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:40,479
Uh, look Gabi, I really appreciate
it, but I'm not a huge fan of therapy.
155
00:06:40,490 --> 00:06:42,824
My mom's been going to
therapy for 20 years,
156
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,449
and, well, you've met her.
157
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,115
Wait, wait, wait.
158
00:06:46,126 --> 00:06:48,889
But... but she didn't go
to Dr. Kenneth Stonehouse.
159
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:51,469
- Gabi, I hear ya.
- And I wanna hear you!
160
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,872
Say that you'll go.
161
00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:55,466
Tomorrow at 1:00.
162
00:06:56,434 --> 00:06:58,008
You already made me an appointment?
163
00:06:58,271 --> 00:07:00,971
I'm sorry, do you feel like
I overstepped my bounds?
164
00:07:00,982 --> 00:07:03,122
That's great. You'll
have more to talk about.
165
00:07:05,243 --> 00:07:06,649
And talk loud!
166
00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:15,620
Uh, hello, why aren't your clothes off?
167
00:07:15,897 --> 00:07:18,787
Um, so, do you remember when I told
you I wanted to treat us both to some
168
00:07:18,798 --> 00:07:20,591
- spray tans?
- Yeah.
169
00:07:20,602 --> 00:07:24,425
Well, what if instead I treat
us to some light espionage?
170
00:07:24,436 --> 00:07:26,196
- Gabi, you didn't.
- I did.
171
00:07:26,207 --> 00:07:28,438
Josh is about to walk in for
his appointment any second.
172
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,828
Gabi, not only is this totally
wrong, but it's bordering on illegal.
173
00:07:31,839 --> 00:07:33,739
What? I did it for you!
174
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,784
Me? What are you talking about?
175
00:07:35,795 --> 00:07:39,051
Well, if I came here by myself, I would
hear all of this horrible information
176
00:07:39,062 --> 00:07:40,985
and then I would come
home, possibly in tears,
177
00:07:40,996 --> 00:07:42,840
and you would be like,
"What's wrong, Gabi?"
178
00:07:42,851 --> 00:07:44,032
and I would tell you,
and you would be like,
179
00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:45,761
"Well, are you sure you
heard him correctly?"
180
00:07:45,772 --> 00:07:46,999
and then I'd be like,
"Well, I'm pretty sure."
181
00:07:47,010 --> 00:07:49,615
Now you can be totally sure. See?
182
00:07:49,626 --> 00:07:51,710
Gabi, I don't want any part in this.
183
00:07:51,944 --> 00:07:54,668
- (Voice 1) Come in, Mr. Kaminski.
- (Gasps) It's happening!
184
00:07:54,819 --> 00:07:56,648
So, what brings you here today?
185
00:07:56,659 --> 00:07:58,891
(Voice 2) Well, I keep
having this recurring dream
186
00:07:58,902 --> 00:08:01,080
where my girlfriend is
smothering me with a pillow.
187
00:08:01,091 --> 00:08:02,308
Oh, he thinks I'm smothering him?
188
00:08:02,319 --> 00:08:03,623
- That's ridiculous.
- Do you believe I have to stand here
189
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:05,037
- and listen to this?
- Shh! Shh!
190
00:08:05,048 --> 00:08:07,240
Sounds like a classic anxiety dream,
191
00:08:07,251 --> 00:08:09,620
and it may signify
deeper intimacy issues.
192
00:08:09,631 --> 00:08:11,732
So how do I fix it?
193
00:08:11,743 --> 00:08:13,563
Yeah, and how long is it gonna take?
194
00:08:13,574 --> 00:08:16,357
Well, these issues
usually start in childhood.
195
00:08:16,368 --> 00:08:18,769
Sometimes it takes
people years to resolve.
196
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:20,649
"Years"? Are you kidding me?
197
00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:22,408
- That's not lickety-split!
- Shh!
198
00:08:23,452 --> 00:08:25,671
Hey, are you two
listening to a new patient?
199
00:08:25,682 --> 00:08:27,988
Do you want some popcorn and
soda? I'm having a special.
200
00:08:33,715 --> 00:08:35,582
Oh, my God.
201
00:08:37,652 --> 00:08:40,454
That was 90 minutes of pure bliss.
202
00:08:40,675 --> 00:08:42,112
Elliot, Yolanda.
203
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:43,795
It's important to hydrate.
204
00:08:43,806 --> 00:08:46,615
Oh, honey, I just got a
peek under Elliot's robe.
205
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,738
You can keep the water. I need whiskey.
206
00:08:51,349 --> 00:08:53,168
But I thought you two were a couple.
207
00:08:53,179 --> 00:08:56,417
(Chuckles) A couple of employees
using our boss's appointment.
208
00:08:56,647 --> 00:08:58,366
Plus, I like guys.
209
00:08:58,603 --> 00:09:00,033
She likes fries.
210
00:09:01,338 --> 00:09:02,706
Well...
211
00:09:02,717 --> 00:09:04,753
in that case, here's my card.
212
00:09:04,764 --> 00:09:07,065
Call me anytime.
213
00:09:07,076 --> 00:09:08,519
To book another massage?
214
00:09:08,842 --> 00:09:10,365
Yeah, that too.
215
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,110
(Chuckles) Okay.
216
00:09:12,121 --> 00:09:14,494
Oh well, we've got to get back to work.
217
00:09:14,506 --> 00:09:15,976
Thank you for comin'.
218
00:09:15,987 --> 00:09:17,187
- Bye!
- Yeah.
219
00:09:17,198 --> 00:09:18,891
- (Door closes)
- What the hell was that?
220
00:09:18,902 --> 00:09:20,203
What the hell was what?
221
00:09:20,214 --> 00:09:21,297
(Scoffs)
222
00:09:21,308 --> 00:09:23,095
That man was clearly flirting with you,
223
00:09:23,106 --> 00:09:24,879
and instead of telling
him you were married,
224
00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,358
you started giggling like a white girl
225
00:09:26,369 --> 00:09:28,786
that just got a free
pumpkin spice latte.
226
00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:32,567
Oh, stop it.
227
00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:34,999
He's just looking for repeat business.
228
00:09:35,413 --> 00:09:36,824
You really think he's into me?
229
00:09:37,459 --> 00:09:41,230
Yes, and trust me, this is a
slippery slope to infidelity.
230
00:09:41,241 --> 00:09:44,026
First you're giggling, then
you're flirting, then bam!
231
00:09:44,037 --> 00:09:46,638
You're screwing the dog
walker on my grandma's futon!
232
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:51,583
Yolanda, I'm not your ex-husband.
233
00:09:51,594 --> 00:09:53,588
- I'd never cheat on Alan.
- Hm...
234
00:09:53,599 --> 00:09:55,495
then you won't mind if I do this.
235
00:09:59,105 --> 00:10:01,006
You ever hear of the Internet, bitch?
236
00:10:07,213 --> 00:10:08,813
(Knocking)
237
00:10:12,219 --> 00:10:14,078
Sofia, you don't have
to check up on me, okay?
238
00:10:14,089 --> 00:10:16,464
I haven't said one single thing to Josh.
239
00:10:16,475 --> 00:10:18,232
- You haven't seen him yet, have you?
- No.
240
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:22,158
Well, I'm not here to
check up on you anyway.
241
00:10:22,169 --> 00:10:23,780
Jake and I are leaving
for Florida tomorrow,
242
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,354
so I just want to make sure that
everything's good with his tu...
243
00:10:26,365 --> 00:10:28,615
Oh, my God.
244
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:32,856
Isn't it crazy how different
our lives are right now?
245
00:10:33,711 --> 00:10:36,561
I love this tux. I'mma
start renting all my clothes.
246
00:10:38,154 --> 00:10:41,193
Oh, I love it too. You
look like my prom date,
247
00:10:41,204 --> 00:10:44,013
except you're tall,
gorgeous, and not my cousin.
248
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:46,973
Morning, everybody.
249
00:10:46,984 --> 00:10:49,095
Ugh, there he is.
250
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,382
Keep it together.
251
00:10:50,393 --> 00:10:53,478
Sofia, I'm not stupid, okay?
I'm not gonna bring it up.
252
00:10:53,489 --> 00:10:54,925
Hi, Josh. How was therapy?
253
00:10:58,101 --> 00:11:00,169
- Okay, so here's the thing...
- I know the thing!
254
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:01,587
Okay? I know everything!
255
00:11:01,598 --> 00:11:04,018
I know about your smother
dreams and your intimacy issues,
256
00:11:04,029 --> 00:11:07,980
and all the years it's gonna take for
you to heal your stupid inner child!
257
00:11:07,991 --> 00:11:10,364
Well, guess what, buddy?
258
00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:13,652
I'm not waiting years for
you to figure out your crap.
259
00:11:13,822 --> 00:11:15,789
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
260
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,050
Oh, save it, Josh. The therapist I sent
you to is right above my nail salon.
261
00:11:19,061 --> 00:11:22,063
I heard everything. All
your sick little issues.
262
00:11:23,439 --> 00:11:27,595
Well, you definitely heard someone's
issues, but they weren't mine.
263
00:11:27,606 --> 00:11:30,020
Oh, please. I heard
him say "Mr. Kaminski".
264
00:11:30,031 --> 00:11:31,565
How do you explain that?
265
00:11:31,576 --> 00:11:33,345
(Slurps loudly)
266
00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:38,275
It... it was me.
267
00:11:38,844 --> 00:11:40,612
- What?
- Oh, my God.
268
00:11:40,623 --> 00:11:42,337
Josh gave me his appointment.
269
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,966
Wow. I am so happy
you're not my boyfriend.
270
00:11:54,973 --> 00:11:56,351
I don't understand.
271
00:11:56,362 --> 00:11:58,703
You're the Kaminski who feels smothered?
272
00:11:58,714 --> 00:12:02,417
Yeah, I... I didn't even know I
had that problem until yesterday.
273
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,761
You think I'm smothering you?
274
00:12:04,772 --> 00:12:06,940
No, not you. Life.
275
00:12:06,951 --> 00:12:08,217
And you.
276
00:12:09,906 --> 00:12:11,209
It's so weird.
277
00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:15,719
I was having all these crazy dreams,
which I mentioned to Josh, so he gave me
278
00:12:15,730 --> 00:12:18,034
the therapy appointment
that Gabi gave him,
279
00:12:18,045 --> 00:12:21,550
which helped me work everything
out, and I feel so much better.
280
00:12:21,561 --> 00:12:24,321
Last night, I finally
had my normal dream...
281
00:12:24,649 --> 00:12:26,749
just flying around.
282
00:12:29,818 --> 00:12:34,179
So, what you're saying is that you
have Gabi to thank for all of this.
283
00:12:34,289 --> 00:12:35,600
(Jake) Yeah!
284
00:12:36,053 --> 00:12:37,605
Thanks, Gabs!
285
00:12:37,616 --> 00:12:39,897
Yeah, thanks, Gabs.
286
00:12:39,908 --> 00:12:42,809
Sofia, I'm... I'm sorry.
287
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:45,623
You're an amazing girl, but I...
I'm just not ready to settle down.
288
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:48,035
I gotta move. I gotta travel the world.
289
00:12:48,046 --> 00:12:50,098
So, start after the quincea?era.
290
00:12:50,109 --> 00:12:51,414
- Sofia...
- No, seriously!
291
00:12:51,425 --> 00:12:54,060
You... you have to go. I already
told my whole family about you.
292
00:12:54,071 --> 00:12:56,711
I even sent them pictures, which
they thought were just photos
293
00:12:56,722 --> 00:12:58,465
from a magazine like last time.
294
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,679
I promise I'm not gonna smother you!
295
00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:04,206
Please, please, please,
please, please, please, please!
296
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,771
Sofia, I was always gonna
go to the quiche-etera.
297
00:13:08,165 --> 00:13:10,958
I wasn't going to break
up with you till after.
298
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:12,457
Oh.
299
00:13:12,555 --> 00:13:14,194
That's so sweet.
300
00:13:17,074 --> 00:13:18,337
Pre-breakup sex?
301
00:13:18,348 --> 00:13:20,030
Oh, oui, oui.
302
00:13:28,161 --> 00:13:29,518
So, um...
303
00:13:30,087 --> 00:13:31,985
pancakes or waffles for breakfast today?
304
00:13:31,996 --> 00:13:33,934
You get to pick 'cause you're m'boss.
305
00:13:35,178 --> 00:13:36,816
- Gabi?
- Yes, m'boss?
306
00:13:38,798 --> 00:13:41,599
You listened in on a
private therapy session?
307
00:13:42,105 --> 00:13:43,723
Yes, but it wasn't just me, okay?
308
00:13:43,734 --> 00:13:45,488
Sofia was there and Martina!
309
00:13:45,604 --> 00:13:49,068
- You manipulated me!
- I know I did, and I'm so sorry.
310
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:52,411
But the good news is you
don't think I'm smothering you.
311
00:13:53,844 --> 00:13:55,182
I...
312
00:13:55,351 --> 00:13:59,043
can't understand how you don't
see the error of your ways.
313
00:13:59,552 --> 00:14:02,462
I don't understand how you cannot see
314
00:14:02,473 --> 00:14:04,606
that I was just trying to help us.
315
00:14:05,224 --> 00:14:07,800
I... I can't... I... I can't
even talk to you right now.
316
00:14:07,811 --> 00:14:10,073
You kno... you need therapy.
317
00:14:10,084 --> 00:14:11,372
Okay. Maybe I do.
318
00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:13,452
- Maybe we both should go.
- Maybe we should.
319
00:14:13,463 --> 00:14:15,268
Maybe we should just
go to couples therapy.
320
00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:17,016
Oh! So, we're still a couple?
321
00:14:24,727 --> 00:14:26,433
You want me to hold
the elevator for you?
322
00:14:26,444 --> 00:14:27,565
(Sighs)
323
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:30,310
I have so much to do before I can leave.
324
00:14:30,321 --> 00:14:32,908
- Go on without me.
- Okay.
325
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,239
- See you tomorrow.
- 'Kay, bye.
326
00:14:36,399 --> 00:14:37,838
(Knocking)
327
00:14:45,005 --> 00:14:46,966
- Hi, Nikolai.
- Hey, you.
328
00:14:46,977 --> 00:14:48,177
Why are you still dressed?
329
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,633
(Giggles) Silly.
330
00:14:51,273 --> 00:14:54,136
Why don't you set up your table
while I go change in the bathroom?
331
00:14:54,147 --> 00:14:55,347
You got it.
332
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,999
I should have known that little troll
333
00:14:59,010 --> 00:15:01,664
wouldn't work late if Josh
wasn't here to see him.
334
00:15:05,092 --> 00:15:07,472
What's up, Abercrombie?
335
00:15:08,064 --> 00:15:09,373
Hey, Yolanda.
336
00:15:09,384 --> 00:15:11,750
Ooh! He remembered my name! (Giggles)
337
00:15:11,761 --> 00:15:13,492
Ooh, focus, girl. Focus.
338
00:15:13,845 --> 00:15:16,174
Look here. Here's 100 bucks.
339
00:15:16,294 --> 00:15:17,507
Make yourself scarce.
340
00:15:17,518 --> 00:15:21,608
I gotta lead a miniature horse to
water and pray that he doesn't drink.
341
00:15:22,897 --> 00:15:24,097
Ready!
342
00:15:24,892 --> 00:15:27,256
Nikolai, I'm ready!
343
00:15:35,817 --> 00:15:37,439
Oh, Nikolai,
344
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:39,999
my back is so tight.
345
00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:43,146
I want you to undo my
knots like a boy scout.
346
00:15:45,197 --> 00:15:46,734
Ooh!
347
00:15:46,994 --> 00:15:49,824
Sauce me up and work me like a rib.
348
00:16:00,074 --> 00:16:02,509
(Moans)
349
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,000
Oh, Nikolai.
350
00:16:05,011 --> 00:16:07,725
This is even better than last time.
351
00:16:08,873 --> 00:16:13,032
You have the strong,
masculine grip of a linebacker.
352
00:16:15,821 --> 00:16:19,690
(Moans)
353
00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:21,795
Oh, don't stop, Nikolai.
354
00:16:23,674 --> 00:16:28,742
This feels so good.
355
00:16:31,601 --> 00:16:32,877
Oh...
356
00:16:33,141 --> 00:16:34,372
Can I just say...
357
00:16:34,383 --> 00:16:35,583
Oh.
358
00:16:38,093 --> 00:16:39,294
Oh...
359
00:16:39,430 --> 00:16:40,997
Can you do my ears?
360
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,483
(Giggles)
361
00:16:45,494 --> 00:16:48,365
(Giggles, moans)
362
00:16:48,376 --> 00:16:50,911
(Giggles, moans)
363
00:16:54,475 --> 00:16:56,467
Nikolai...
364
00:16:56,821 --> 00:17:00,550
you're moving into some
dangerous territory.
365
00:17:00,988 --> 00:17:02,455
(Moans)
366
00:17:03,552 --> 00:17:04,852
Stop!
367
00:17:05,876 --> 00:17:07,390
Nikolai...
368
00:17:07,951 --> 00:17:09,494
I have to say something.
369
00:17:10,052 --> 00:17:13,184
Remember that huge, horrible
woman you met the other day?
370
00:17:16,037 --> 00:17:19,702
Well, she told me not to call you,
and it turns out she was right.
371
00:17:19,857 --> 00:17:21,191
I'm married.
372
00:17:21,202 --> 00:17:23,695
And I love my husband very much.
373
00:17:24,986 --> 00:17:27,075
Now I need you to leave the room
374
00:17:27,086 --> 00:17:30,396
'cause I'm embarrassed to
say you gave me a huge bon...
375
00:17:30,407 --> 00:17:31,607
- Aah!
- Aah!
376
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:33,706
- (Screams)
- (Laughs)
377
00:17:33,717 --> 00:17:35,702
- Oh, my God! Aah!
- (Laughs)
378
00:17:38,592 --> 00:17:42,041
So over the phone, Josh told me a
little bit about your relationship.
379
00:17:42,052 --> 00:17:44,923
Oh, so he, uh, told you
what started this whole thing
380
00:17:44,934 --> 00:17:47,299
is the fact that we've been trying to
get together for, like, a whole year,
381
00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:50,102
and when we finally did and
tried to kiss, he backed away,
382
00:17:50,113 --> 00:17:51,754
suddenly sickened by me.
383
00:17:51,885 --> 00:17:53,436
I'm sorry, I talk a
lot when I'm nervous,
384
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:56,183
but you probably figured that out
already because you're a therapist.
385
00:17:56,194 --> 00:17:57,728
And our time's up.
386
00:17:58,789 --> 00:18:00,423
Is that what brought you here today?
387
00:18:00,434 --> 00:18:02,848
You'd think, but no.
388
00:18:03,209 --> 00:18:05,884
Go ahead, Gabi. Tell her what you did.
389
00:18:06,107 --> 00:18:07,605
- Well, I was...
- She spied on my brother
390
00:18:07,605 --> 00:18:09,983
in a therapy session,
thinking it was me.
391
00:18:09,994 --> 00:18:11,364
Go ahead, Gabi.
392
00:18:11,527 --> 00:18:13,675
- What happened was...
- And then she has the nerve
393
00:18:13,686 --> 00:18:15,628
to turn it around on
me like it's my fault.
394
00:18:15,639 --> 00:18:17,806
- It is your fault.
- Okay.
395
00:18:17,817 --> 00:18:19,913
Sometimes when couples
are having difficulty
396
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,563
seeing the other person's point of view,
397
00:18:21,574 --> 00:18:23,056
it helps to do a little role-playing.
398
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:25,522
(Gasps) Ooh, like I'm a sassy
waitress at a bowling alley?
399
00:18:27,131 --> 00:18:29,446
What I meant was Gabi,
you pretend to be Josh,
400
00:18:29,457 --> 00:18:30,870
and Josh, you pretend to be Gabi.
401
00:18:30,881 --> 00:18:32,522
Oh, so you want us
to do a Freaky Friday?
402
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:35,636
- Gabi, professionals don't call it...
- Yes, a Freaky Friday.
403
00:18:38,391 --> 00:18:40,563
Okay. I'll start.
404
00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:45,321
Hi, I'm Gabi.
405
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:48,211
I am a chef who works for a
brilliant tech millionaire named Josh,
406
00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:50,692
who's working very hard on
fixing his commitment issues.
407
00:18:50,976 --> 00:18:53,431
Okay, well, I'm Josh,
408
00:18:53,442 --> 00:18:56,576
and that beautiful, talented
chef I was just talking about,
409
00:18:56,587 --> 00:18:59,431
well I can't believe you
couldn't kiss me. Her.
410
00:19:00,501 --> 00:19:02,200
Okay. So, Gabi...
411
00:19:02,211 --> 00:19:03,411
(Both) Yes?
412
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:08,334
Josh-Gabi, why do you think you
spied on Josh's therapy session?
413
00:19:08,972 --> 00:19:11,678
Well... because I'm childish, immature,
414
00:19:11,689 --> 00:19:13,661
and too impatient to wait
for Josh to get better.
415
00:19:13,672 --> 00:19:14,961
My turn, my turn, my turn.
416
00:19:14,972 --> 00:19:16,172
Josh?
417
00:19:16,462 --> 00:19:18,445
I won't kiss her, I won't date her,
418
00:19:18,456 --> 00:19:20,191
and I don't know when
I'm gonna be better.
419
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,084
In short, I suck.
420
00:19:23,289 --> 00:19:24,788
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
421
00:19:24,799 --> 00:19:27,105
Don't be so hard on yourself, Josh.
422
00:19:27,116 --> 00:19:30,627
Maybe the reason why you can't commit
is 'cause sometimes I act very immature.
423
00:19:30,638 --> 00:19:34,598
Well, Gabi, you're just a
23-year-old girl. I'm 30.
424
00:19:34,609 --> 00:19:36,632
What's my excuse? You know what?
425
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,918
Maybe we're both too immature
to be together right now.
426
00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:40,363
Maybe what's best for the two of us
427
00:19:40,374 --> 00:19:43,344
is to stop trying to be
together until we both grow up!
428
00:19:44,491 --> 00:19:46,399
Wait, did I just break up with myself?
429
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:56,210
I can't believe we both
got dumped by Kaminskis.
430
00:19:56,547 --> 00:20:00,583
Well, technically, I broke up with
myself, but, you know, he agreed.
431
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,354
I went to Disney World
and I still feel sad.
432
00:20:04,365 --> 00:20:06,553
Don't. We're better off without them.
433
00:20:06,688 --> 00:20:09,321
- Or are we worse off?
- No, we're better.
434
00:20:09,627 --> 00:20:12,028
Josh and his stupid commitment issues.
435
00:20:12,039 --> 00:20:13,239
Yeah.
436
00:20:13,264 --> 00:20:16,586
Jake and his stupid hands all
over my body late at night.
437
00:20:17,452 --> 00:20:19,202
- Sofia.
- Sorry.
438
00:20:19,538 --> 00:20:21,790
Did I tell you that my
Abuelita fell in love with Jake,
439
00:20:21,801 --> 00:20:23,987
so I told her we're engaged?
440
00:20:24,209 --> 00:20:26,503
I only told her that 'cause she's 98.
441
00:20:28,031 --> 00:20:30,033
- Did you tell everybody else?
- Yes.
442
00:20:32,952 --> 00:20:35,090
- Wanna watch a movie?
- No.
443
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,666
- You wanna get a pizza?
- No.
444
00:20:38,689 --> 00:20:41,909
You wanna get spray tans and listen in
on people who have it way worse than us?
445
00:20:42,009 --> 00:20:43,898
I would like that very much.
446
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:49,040
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447
00:20:49,090 --> 00:20:53,640
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