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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:07,188 Hey, thanks again for letting us leave early. 2 00:00:07,609 --> 00:00:09,797 Why exactly are you letting us leave early? 3 00:00:10,182 --> 00:00:11,847 You know what, never mind, I'm not gonna bring it up, 4 00:00:11,853 --> 00:00:14,942 'cause then you might change your mind, and I... want to leave early. 5 00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,871 You sure you don't wanna come with us 6 00:00:16,877 --> 00:00:19,163 to this off the chain club opening? 7 00:00:19,169 --> 00:00:22,133 I can get another VIP pass, because I am a PR god. 8 00:00:22,139 --> 00:00:24,133 Thanks, Elliot, but I have a college buddy comin' over for dinner. 9 00:00:24,139 --> 00:00:25,857 You guys go. Have fun. 10 00:00:25,863 --> 00:00:29,247 Oh, I will. I plan on gettin' kicked out of the club tonight... 11 00:00:29,253 --> 00:00:30,835 and someone's bed in the morning. 12 00:00:32,381 --> 00:00:34,641 Okay, so the lobster ravioli is warming on the stove, 13 00:00:34,647 --> 00:00:36,064 the side dishes are in the oven, 14 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,583 and then there's cream pie for dessert. 15 00:00:37,589 --> 00:00:39,053 Ooh, Boston? 16 00:00:39,059 --> 00:00:40,324 No, right there in the fridge. 17 00:00:41,559 --> 00:00:43,754 Okay, so are you sure you don't need me? 18 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,941 Gabi, stop worrying. We're probably just gonna 19 00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:48,271 end up drinkin' beer and eatin' ravioli right outta the pot. 20 00:00:48,277 --> 00:00:50,315 Pot! That's what I'm missin'. 21 00:00:52,938 --> 00:00:55,487 How great is it that Josh is giving us the night off early? 22 00:00:55,493 --> 00:00:57,372 - Mm-hm. - Why do you think he's doing that? 23 00:00:57,608 --> 00:01:01,087 Girl, let it go. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. 24 00:01:01,093 --> 00:01:03,262 - You tell her, Seabiscuit. - (elevator dings) 25 00:01:08,462 --> 00:01:11,699 Um... who are you and why are you going here? 26 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,320 Uh... this is the penthouse, right? I'm going to... 27 00:01:14,326 --> 00:01:16,289 - Josh Kaminski's? - Yeah, and why is that? 28 00:01:16,295 --> 00:01:18,414 He... hired me to serve him and his guest dinner? 29 00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:19,634 And why is that? 30 00:01:19,898 --> 00:01:21,790 Wouldn't you want a professional server 31 00:01:21,796 --> 00:01:24,290 if you were having a business dinner with Natasha Cook Campbell? 32 00:01:24,296 --> 00:01:26,021 (gasps) Natasha Cook Campbell! 33 00:01:28,124 --> 00:01:29,324 (urgent knocking on door) 34 00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:30,530 Coming! 35 00:01:33,124 --> 00:01:35,025 - Uh, question. - Can you please make it quick? 36 00:01:35,031 --> 00:01:36,515 My college buddy's gonna be here any minute. 37 00:01:36,521 --> 00:01:39,200 Oh, you mean your buddy, award-winning chef, lifestyle guru, 38 00:01:39,206 --> 00:01:41,397 millionaire mogul, and my idol, Natasha Cook Campbell? 39 00:01:42,905 --> 00:01:46,358 - Dammit! - (theme music playing) 40 00:01:50,552 --> 00:01:52,744 She's in the spotlight 41 00:01:52,758 --> 00:01:54,415 And she turned my head 42 00:01:54,421 --> 00:01:56,445 She'd run a red light 43 00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:58,226 'Cause she's bad like that 44 00:01:58,232 --> 00:02:01,978 I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby, baby 45 00:02:01,984 --> 00:02:05,417 - I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby - Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com 46 00:02:05,423 --> 00:02:08,672 Okay, you know I'm obsessed with Natasha Cook Campbell. 47 00:02:08,678 --> 00:02:10,874 I mean, she's a genius cook, brilliant businesswoman, 48 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,511 she's best friends with Yeezy. 49 00:02:13,021 --> 00:02:14,881 She's everything I wanna be, except for the... 50 00:02:14,887 --> 00:02:16,087 little bit of jail time. 51 00:02:16,093 --> 00:02:18,873 I don't... I don't understand why you wouldn't want me to meet her? 52 00:02:18,879 --> 00:02:21,751 - 'Cause of this. Look at you! - What? 53 00:02:21,855 --> 00:02:23,357 You're an obsessed nut job! 54 00:02:23,363 --> 00:02:24,875 I'm trying to do a business deal with Natasha, 55 00:02:24,881 --> 00:02:26,739 and the last thing I need is some crackpot 56 00:02:26,745 --> 00:02:28,843 trying to steal a lock of her hair! 57 00:02:29,673 --> 00:02:32,240 I'm sorry, Gabi, I can't trust you to act professionally. 58 00:02:32,246 --> 00:02:34,922 Can't trust... You can't trust me? 59 00:02:34,928 --> 00:02:37,454 Can I just say that if we were in a relationship, 60 00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:38,758 I would be so hurt. 61 00:02:38,764 --> 00:02:41,389 Can I just say this is precisely why we're not in a relationship. 62 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,502 Oh, well, can I just say I'm hurt anyway. 63 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,380 (knock on door) 64 00:02:46,298 --> 00:02:48,637 A multi-million dollar deal's on the line. 65 00:02:48,643 --> 00:02:51,276 I know... and as soon as I get a lock of her hair, 66 00:02:51,282 --> 00:02:52,696 - I will be totally professional... - Oh my 67 00:02:52,702 --> 00:02:54,492 - God... - I'm kidding! 68 00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,336 I'm gonna be a hundred percent pro-fesh. 69 00:02:57,342 --> 00:02:59,735 Now excuse me, I have a door to answer. 70 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:04,920 Welcome, Ms. Cook Campbell. 71 00:03:04,925 --> 00:03:06,921 Ms. Cook Campbell, I'm Josh Kaminski. 72 00:03:06,927 --> 00:03:08,128 Call me Natasha. 73 00:03:08,134 --> 00:03:11,466 Natasha... (whispers) Cook Campbell. 74 00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,741 Ooh, Elliot, tonight you went from schmuck 75 00:03:17,747 --> 00:03:19,856 to guy I wanna... uch, too far. 76 00:03:20,974 --> 00:03:23,637 But still, I'm impressed you were able to get us tickets. 77 00:03:23,839 --> 00:03:27,507 When you're as well known as me in the biz, you ask and... 78 00:03:27,513 --> 00:03:28,733 (snaps fingers) 79 00:03:28,739 --> 00:03:29,939 things happen. 80 00:03:30,737 --> 00:03:33,314 Hey, Elliot, do you know who the surprise guest is yet? 81 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,522 Is it T. Swift? J. Cole? R. Kelly? 82 00:03:35,956 --> 00:03:39,345 Aww, it's so cute when the nothings get excited. 83 00:03:39,893 --> 00:03:41,094 (phone ringing) 84 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,375 Oh, it's the club. 85 00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:45,122 Yes, this is Elliot Park. 86 00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:46,692 Mm-hmm? 87 00:03:47,826 --> 00:03:50,529 The surprise guest is who now? 88 00:03:50,535 --> 00:03:52,935 (gasps) It's Beyonce! 89 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:56,860 - It's Beyonce! It's Beyonce! Oh! - (others freaking out) 90 00:03:56,866 --> 00:04:00,487 BOTH: Elliot! Elliot! Elliot! 91 00:04:00,493 --> 00:04:04,386 Hold on a second, I can't hear you. People are chanting my name. 92 00:04:06,242 --> 00:04:10,144 You were saying tonight's gonna be busy, and... what? 93 00:04:10,343 --> 00:04:12,212 You can no longer accommodate me? 94 00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:14,232 But you have to! 95 00:04:14,627 --> 00:04:17,922 For the first time in my life, people are worshiping me. 96 00:04:17,928 --> 00:04:19,231 I'll do anything! 97 00:04:19,534 --> 00:04:21,526 I cannot be a nothing! 98 00:04:22,815 --> 00:04:24,047 Hello? 99 00:04:24,324 --> 00:04:25,524 Oh, no. 100 00:04:26,796 --> 00:04:28,862 So, are we ready to roll? 101 00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:31,073 Actually, there's been an unexpected development. 102 00:04:31,079 --> 00:04:32,589 I knew you wouldn't come through. 103 00:04:32,595 --> 00:04:34,951 Why would you all of a sudden be "the man"? 104 00:04:34,957 --> 00:04:38,064 They... upgraded us to the front row! 105 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,614 I knew you'd come through 'cause you the man! 106 00:04:40,705 --> 00:04:43,239 Beyonce's gonna sweat on us! Let's go! 107 00:04:43,245 --> 00:04:45,817 Whoa, whoa, whoa. You wanna go now? 108 00:04:45,823 --> 00:04:48,438 So we can be the first ones there, and look like losers? 109 00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:51,144 How many times have you two been VIPs at a club? 110 00:04:51,310 --> 00:04:52,510 BOTH: Never. 111 00:04:52,516 --> 00:04:54,779 Take it from a VIP OG. 112 00:04:54,910 --> 00:04:56,974 Beyonce's not gonna go on until midnight. 113 00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:59,520 The cool people show up at 11:45. 114 00:04:59,526 --> 00:05:01,934 And you know what's better than seeing Beyonce? 115 00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:03,238 Huh! Nothing! 116 00:05:03,244 --> 00:05:05,621 Wrong! Drinking free booze here, 117 00:05:05,627 --> 00:05:07,223 instead of paying at the club! 118 00:05:07,229 --> 00:05:10,113 Aw, yeah, you know they do overcharge. 119 00:05:10,119 --> 00:05:12,275 - And water it down. - Exactly. 120 00:05:12,281 --> 00:05:15,477 This'll be the night... we never... forget. 121 00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:18,602 Or hopefully never remember, what? 122 00:05:23,228 --> 00:05:26,627 Natasha, at Kaminski Enterprises, you're getting more than just an app. 123 00:05:26,633 --> 00:05:28,917 We're gonna take your books, your videos and your recipes, 124 00:05:28,923 --> 00:05:31,119 and tie them all together into one digital portal. 125 00:05:31,125 --> 00:05:33,882 Hmmm. I need to run this by Kiki. 126 00:05:33,888 --> 00:05:36,796 What? You're Natasha Cook Campbell, you don't have to run things by anybody. 127 00:05:36,802 --> 00:05:40,817 Well, no one... except Kiki Cook Campbell. 128 00:05:42,915 --> 00:05:45,009 She's the only bitch I listen to. 129 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:46,912 (barks) 130 00:05:46,918 --> 00:05:48,590 Kiki, inside bark! 131 00:05:49,488 --> 00:05:53,280 She's like a daughter to me... except she's actually in my will. 132 00:05:55,095 --> 00:05:57,041 Look, Josh, I'm gonna be blunt. 133 00:05:57,047 --> 00:05:59,361 A little Tash talk, if you will. 134 00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,925 You've pitched me the same thing as every other pasty tech mogul in town. 135 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,394 I want to attract a new demographic. 136 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,886 How are you gonna take my "Get Paid" chicken 137 00:06:09,892 --> 00:06:12,434 and introduce it to the younger generation? 138 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,663 Your "Get Paid" chicken? 139 00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:14,931 Mm-hm. 140 00:06:14,937 --> 00:06:16,341 (stammers) 141 00:06:16,347 --> 00:06:17,832 It's only her best recipe! 142 00:06:17,838 --> 00:06:19,826 It's called "Get Paid" chicken because when you finally get your paycheck, 143 00:06:19,832 --> 00:06:22,246 you can afford to cook yourself a good meal. (gasps) 144 00:06:22,628 --> 00:06:25,381 Um, can I just say, I actually... I don't call it "Get Paid" chicken, 145 00:06:25,387 --> 00:06:27,303 because when I cook it for a date, it's such a hit, I call it 146 00:06:27,309 --> 00:06:29,098 - "Get Laid" chicken! - Gabi! 147 00:06:29,215 --> 00:06:32,982 - "Get Laid"? I love it! - Natasha, I am so sorry. 148 00:06:32,988 --> 00:06:36,354 I have been trying to hip up everything. 149 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,371 Two years ago I rejuvenated my lady business, 150 00:06:39,557 --> 00:06:43,371 and it's ideas like that that can rejuvenate my business business! 151 00:06:43,377 --> 00:06:46,596 Natasha, you wanna know what separates me from the other pasty people? 152 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,205 Gabi Diamond! 153 00:06:48,796 --> 00:06:52,507 She's a great chef, beautiful, young, and oh, so fun! 154 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,674 Gabi, I have a great feeling about you. 155 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,947 I think you and I are gonna be writing a cookbook together. 156 00:07:00,381 --> 00:07:02,609 Oh, I'm sorry, I just blacked out for a moment. 157 00:07:02,821 --> 00:07:05,657 You... you wanna write a cookbook with me? 158 00:07:05,663 --> 00:07:09,672 Yes, you have a raw, sexy energy that I want in my books! 159 00:07:09,678 --> 00:07:12,625 And you were smart enough to hire her. The contract is yours. 160 00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:14,334 (phone rings) 161 00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:16,940 Oh, this is the fifth time my editor is calling me tonight. 162 00:07:16,946 --> 00:07:19,435 Now she could use some of that "Get Laid" chicken. 163 00:07:19,726 --> 00:07:21,241 Hey, Natasha, why don't you take it in my office? 164 00:07:21,247 --> 00:07:23,239 Oh, okay. Hello? 165 00:07:24,558 --> 00:07:26,747 (singsong) I'm writing a book with Natasha Cook Campbell! 166 00:07:26,753 --> 00:07:28,359 (singsong) I'm doin' a digital platform! 167 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,362 Oh my God... could things get any better? 168 00:07:30,368 --> 00:07:32,268 We're a power non-couple! 169 00:07:33,479 --> 00:07:35,892 Oh, Kiki, I almost stepped on you! 170 00:07:35,898 --> 00:07:37,973 Can you imagine if I stepped on Kiki Cook Campbell, 171 00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:40,689 who Natasha Cook Campbell loves more than her own daughter? (laughs) 172 00:07:40,695 --> 00:07:42,013 - (barking) - Kiki stop! 173 00:07:42,019 --> 00:07:43,689 - (barking) - Kiki, stop... (gasps) 174 00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:45,590 Do you want your ball? Do you want your ball? 175 00:07:45,596 --> 00:07:48,273 Here you go! Here's your ball, go get it! 176 00:07:48,279 --> 00:07:49,479 (barks) 177 00:07:51,473 --> 00:07:53,075 BOTH: Nooooo! 178 00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:56,593 Whoa! Why would you throw a dog's ball over the terrace?! 179 00:07:56,599 --> 00:07:58,928 I didn't throw it over the terrace, I threw it towards the terrace. 180 00:07:58,934 --> 00:08:01,428 How was I supposed to know that balls bounce? 181 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,415 I can't see her anywhere. 182 00:08:03,421 --> 00:08:05,850 Yeah... 'cause she's in heaven. 183 00:08:06,391 --> 00:08:08,531 This is horrible! 184 00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,086 Oh my God, she saw. 185 00:08:10,092 --> 00:08:12,583 My editor was in a car accident, I have to get to the hospital. 186 00:08:12,589 --> 00:08:14,179 - Oh, thank God. - Oh, that's fantastic. 187 00:08:14,185 --> 00:08:16,211 - That is horrible! - Tragic! 188 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,718 All right, now where is Kiki? 189 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:22,856 Uhh... uhh... say, Gabi, where is Kiki? 190 00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:24,972 - Oh... look! Here she is. - (collar tinkling) 191 00:08:24,978 --> 00:08:26,962 Oh, Kiki, time to go. 192 00:08:26,968 --> 00:08:29,928 Oh, look... look at that, she's following me, that's so cute. 193 00:08:29,934 --> 00:08:32,837 - Come here, Kiki, come here, Kiki... - Kiki, now! 194 00:08:34,420 --> 00:08:35,823 Oh-ooh! Here's a thought. 195 00:08:35,829 --> 00:08:38,584 Why don't Josh and I watch her, and you can just come pick her up later? 196 00:08:38,590 --> 00:08:40,037 - Ohh! - Oh, G... 197 00:08:40,043 --> 00:08:43,039 I could never leave my baby. 198 00:08:43,045 --> 00:08:44,971 But she is my editor. 199 00:08:44,977 --> 00:08:48,020 Oh, God, it's Natasha's choice. 200 00:08:48,026 --> 00:08:50,113 (crying) 201 00:08:50,119 --> 00:08:51,319 Did that seem real? 202 00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:53,480 Because that's what I'm gonna do 203 00:08:53,486 --> 00:08:55,066 when they take my picture outside the hospital. 204 00:08:55,072 --> 00:08:56,581 That's... that was great. It was really great! 205 00:08:56,587 --> 00:08:59,259 So believable. We will watch Kiki. Bye! 206 00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:02,396 Wow. This was a really great night. 207 00:09:02,402 --> 00:09:03,719 Well, except for my editor, 208 00:09:03,725 --> 00:09:05,911 who they think could be dead by the time I get there. 209 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,424 (dramatically) No! Not Diana! 210 00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:10,130 Noooo! 211 00:09:10,136 --> 00:09:11,960 Okay, that one might've been a little bit over the top. 212 00:09:11,966 --> 00:09:14,538 I'm not gonna do that one. I'm gonna go practice in the elevator. 213 00:09:15,234 --> 00:09:17,347 All right, watch my baby for me, please. 214 00:09:17,353 --> 00:09:18,553 Okay, we will! 215 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,347 - Bye. - Bye! 216 00:09:26,737 --> 00:09:30,900 In honor of Beyonce, all the single ladies do a shot! 217 00:09:30,906 --> 00:09:32,106 Yeah! 218 00:09:32,284 --> 00:09:33,588 Mm-mm! 219 00:09:33,594 --> 00:09:35,803 Now all the divorced ladies do two! 220 00:09:36,778 --> 00:09:38,872 (laughs) My divorce was pretty rough. 221 00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,177 I'll take three! (laughs) 222 00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:43,177 Kendrick? It's Sofia. 223 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,692 E... even though this might make things awkward at work, 224 00:09:45,698 --> 00:09:47,920 I have to say... I love you... 225 00:09:47,926 --> 00:09:49,839 - and I wanna suck... - Okays! 226 00:09:50,597 --> 00:09:52,603 - We're drunk enough to go. - (laughs) 227 00:09:52,609 --> 00:09:54,335 Waaait! 228 00:09:54,731 --> 00:09:58,273 You're gonna let Beyonce see you bitches without volume? 229 00:09:58,279 --> 00:09:59,614 Hair flip! 230 00:10:04,259 --> 00:10:05,759 Okay, let's go. 231 00:10:05,765 --> 00:10:07,785 - (exhaling loudly) - (Elliot chuckling nervously) 232 00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:12,140 Wait a second. It's only 9:00. (sighs) 233 00:10:12,146 --> 00:10:14,281 What did I say before, nothings? 234 00:10:14,287 --> 00:10:16,050 - Don't show up early. - Or we'll look like losers. 235 00:10:16,056 --> 00:10:18,862 Exactly. So what do we do while we wait? 236 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,225 Beyonce-tinis! 237 00:10:20,231 --> 00:10:22,091 - A-ha! - Atta girls! 238 00:10:27,589 --> 00:10:29,473 Did you find Kiki? Tell me you found Kiki. 239 00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:30,794 I found her. I found her. 240 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,693 A whole Kiki, or in Kiki pieces? 241 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,817 Whole Kiki. Whole Kiki. 242 00:10:34,823 --> 00:10:36,714 How... how the hell did she survive? 243 00:10:36,987 --> 00:10:38,907 Well, she miraculously landed 244 00:10:38,913 --> 00:10:40,140 (whispered) on this. 245 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,282 Uh, Louis, this is Josh. Josh, this is Louis. 246 00:10:46,288 --> 00:10:47,642 - Wow. - Kiki, thank God... 247 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,345 Nice place. What do you do for a livin'? Work? 248 00:10:50,736 --> 00:10:54,642 And like I told the blonde here, this isn't Kiki, this is Wagon. 249 00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:56,846 - What? - Damn, Wagon. 250 00:10:56,852 --> 00:10:59,053 Can you believe this place? 251 00:10:59,598 --> 00:11:01,804 Look at the size of that ottoman! 252 00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:03,425 You still have the box it came in? 253 00:11:04,512 --> 00:11:07,311 - What's going on here? - Okay, so, I tried to tell Louis 254 00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:08,897 that Kiki was Natasha's dog, 255 00:11:08,903 --> 00:11:10,662 but he insisted that that was "Wagon," 256 00:11:10,668 --> 00:11:13,376 short for "Off the Wagon," which he clearly is. 257 00:11:14,781 --> 00:11:17,580 Okay... how much for the dog? 258 00:11:17,586 --> 00:11:19,369 - Excuse me? - Businessman to con man, 259 00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:20,987 how much do you want for Kiki? Five thousand? 260 00:11:20,993 --> 00:11:24,261 I told you, this isn't Kiki, this is Wagon, and Wagon is not for sale. 261 00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:26,272 - Ten thousand. - You know... 262 00:11:26,278 --> 00:11:27,856 this nice young lady invited me up 263 00:11:27,862 --> 00:11:29,944 for a home-cooked meal out of the kindness of her heart, 264 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:32,870 and here you are, flashing all your money, trying to separate me 265 00:11:32,876 --> 00:11:34,322 from my only friend in the world. 266 00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:36,818 - Twenty thousand. - Heeeeere's Wagon! 267 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,935 Hey, uh, Louis... do you... 268 00:11:42,941 --> 00:11:46,005 Wanna go out with you? Nah! I'm rich now. I got options. 269 00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,239 Here ya go! 270 00:11:50,245 --> 00:11:52,520 Oh my God. Josh, you just have that kinda money lying around? 271 00:11:52,526 --> 00:11:54,840 Gabi, I'm rich. I have lots of money in my office. 272 00:11:54,846 --> 00:11:57,338 Next to my full-time security guard. Big guy, big, big guy! 273 00:11:57,995 --> 00:12:00,279 Anyway... buh-bye, Louis. 274 00:12:00,285 --> 00:12:02,367 Well... take good care of Wagon now. 275 00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,605 I'm off to the bank... or a race track. 276 00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:09,292 Ha! Oh my God! We got Kiki back! 277 00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:11,141 We got Kiki baaack! 278 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:13,712 Why aren't you happy? 279 00:12:13,718 --> 00:12:16,329 Uh, do you not remember that you just cost me $20,000? 280 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,329 Do you not remember how we thought Kiki was dead, 281 00:12:18,335 --> 00:12:19,828 and now she's alive, and she's here? 282 00:12:19,834 --> 00:12:21,781 Do you not remember how none of this would've happened 283 00:12:21,787 --> 00:12:24,001 - if you just went to that stupid club. - Okay, can we not do the 284 00:12:24,007 --> 00:12:26,318 "do you not remembers" because I think we all remembers. 285 00:12:26,693 --> 00:12:29,739 Oh, especially the one where Natasha was out the door 286 00:12:29,745 --> 00:12:31,458 until I brought up "Get Laid" chicken! 287 00:12:31,464 --> 00:12:33,281 I mean, if it wasn't for me, you'd have nothing! 288 00:12:33,287 --> 00:12:37,097 Oh, right... because I didn't have my penthouse or... or my company, 289 00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:39,497 or my millions before you rhymed "paid" with "laid"! 290 00:12:39,503 --> 00:12:41,944 - Oh my God, you are being so... - (dog barks) 291 00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:45,103 Kiki! Kiki, stop! Kiki, get off! 292 00:12:45,109 --> 00:12:47,174 - Do you want your ball? Yeah, okay! - (dog barks) 293 00:12:47,489 --> 00:12:50,020 - Hey, go get your ball... - Stop! Stop! 294 00:12:50,026 --> 00:12:51,915 Have you learned nothing? 295 00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:54,905 You do not throw balls towards the terrace! 296 00:12:55,229 --> 00:12:56,429 (dog barks) 297 00:12:56,435 --> 00:12:58,202 - No! - No! 298 00:12:58,309 --> 00:13:01,192 Okay... at a certain point, it's the dog's fault! 299 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,864 Ohhhh, she's gone this time, Gabi! She's gone, baby, gone! 300 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,361 It's dead! My cookbook deal is dead! 301 00:13:11,367 --> 00:13:12,678 (phone ringing) 302 00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:16,771 - Oh my God, Natasha's face-timing you! - I'm not answering it! 303 00:13:16,777 --> 00:13:18,000 Okay, but if you don't answer, she's gonna think 304 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,117 - something horrible happened to Kiki. - Well, if I do answer it, she's gonna 305 00:13:20,123 --> 00:13:21,473 know something horrible happened to Kiki. 306 00:13:21,479 --> 00:13:22,703 Okay, I'm just gonna hit ignore. 307 00:13:22,709 --> 00:13:24,943 Dammit! I hit accept, I do that all the time. 308 00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:27,631 Hi, Natasha! 309 00:13:27,637 --> 00:13:30,831 Hi, how's my little angel? Would you put her on the phone? 310 00:13:30,837 --> 00:13:32,871 - I wanna see her face. - (hushed) Kiki had a walk. 311 00:13:32,877 --> 00:13:35,104 - What? I don't know what you're saying, - Tell her I took Kiki for a walk! 312 00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:36,729 - you tell her. - I took Kiki for a walk! 313 00:13:36,735 --> 00:13:39,197 And because I'm talking to you right now, because Gabi gave me the phone, 314 00:13:39,203 --> 00:13:40,564 that must mean I'm back with Kiki! 315 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:43,923 - (barking) - Oh, I hear her! 316 00:13:43,929 --> 00:13:46,118 - Oh my God. I hear her, too. - I hear her, too. 317 00:13:46,124 --> 00:13:48,740 She's alive... force! 318 00:13:48,913 --> 00:13:51,791 She's a life force, just perks up everything around her. 319 00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:53,033 We adore her. 320 00:13:53,039 --> 00:13:55,841 Aw. Well, tell her Mommy's on her way to pick her back up, 321 00:13:55,847 --> 00:13:58,020 - And I love her... - Okay, bye-bye! 322 00:13:58,026 --> 00:13:59,765 Oh my God, she's here! She's here! 323 00:13:59,771 --> 00:14:00,878 - (barking) - (whistling) 324 00:14:00,884 --> 00:14:03,030 (gasps) Oh my God, she's on the terrace below us, 325 00:14:03,036 --> 00:14:05,054 she must've hit the awning and slid off onto the balcony, 326 00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,544 - we gotta go get her! - We... we can't just 327 00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,053 go into the apartment, it's empty, it's for sale. 328 00:14:08,059 --> 00:14:10,754 - Well, can't you just buy it? - It takes a little longer 329 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,473 than five minutes to purchase real estate! 330 00:14:12,479 --> 00:14:15,064 Excuse me for being a renter! 331 00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:18,848 Can I just say once again how glad I am we are not in a relationship? 332 00:14:18,854 --> 00:14:20,361 Can I just say I'm gladder! 333 00:14:20,367 --> 00:14:21,871 Can I just say I'm the gladdest, 334 00:14:21,877 --> 00:14:23,943 because if we were, I would have to stay here with you, 335 00:14:23,949 --> 00:14:26,844 but instead, I get to go home, and I get to watch the horror movie marathon 336 00:14:26,850 --> 00:14:28,539 that I DVR'd. I'm gonna watch The Purge, 337 00:14:28,545 --> 00:14:30,831 Insidious, Saw, Silence of the Lambs... (gasps) 338 00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,503 Silence of the Lambs, oh my God, the fat girl's stuck in the well, 339 00:14:33,509 --> 00:14:35,078 and she puts the bone in the basket, and the dog jumps in, 340 00:14:35,084 --> 00:14:37,019 we gotta get a bone and a basket! 341 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,366 YOLANDA (in her sleep): Mm-mm... mm-mm. 342 00:14:44,954 --> 00:14:46,765 (quiet snoring) 343 00:14:48,859 --> 00:14:50,171 (Yolanda sighs) 344 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,355 - (louder snoring) - (pop) 345 00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:00,737 (door slamming) 346 00:15:00,743 --> 00:15:02,852 - Aaah! (spitting) - Ah! What the hell? 347 00:15:02,946 --> 00:15:06,252 Oh my God! How amazing was that? 348 00:15:06,258 --> 00:15:07,868 How amazing was what? 349 00:15:07,938 --> 00:15:09,833 Yeah, fool, what're you talkin' about? 350 00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:11,977 Very funny, guuuys! 351 00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:15,204 Beyonce! At the club toniiight! 352 00:15:16,297 --> 00:15:19,189 Oh my God! Look at the time! 353 00:15:19,195 --> 00:15:20,988 (gasps) Two-thirty? 354 00:15:20,994 --> 00:15:23,509 Oh my damn, we missed the whole thing! 355 00:15:23,515 --> 00:15:26,119 - Are you kidding me? We just got back! - YOLANDA: What? 356 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,815 Do you seriously not remember anything that happened tonight? 357 00:15:28,821 --> 00:15:32,002 The last thing I remember was you yelling "chug, chug, chug," 358 00:15:32,008 --> 00:15:34,403 while I drank vodka from a salad bowl. 359 00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:37,590 Yeah, right before our limo showed up. 360 00:15:37,596 --> 00:15:38,800 Limo? 361 00:15:38,806 --> 00:15:42,078 So... we went to the show? I don't remember any of this. 362 00:15:42,084 --> 00:15:45,513 Well... Beyonce will remember you. 363 00:15:45,519 --> 00:15:50,299 Backstage, you taught Blue how to sing Single Ladies in Spanish. 364 00:15:50,608 --> 00:15:52,598 Todas Las chicas solteras? 365 00:15:54,436 --> 00:15:58,207 Then you and Beyonce stood by a mirror and laughed... because she said you two 366 00:15:58,213 --> 00:15:59,682 - could be sisters! - YOLANDA: Oh? 367 00:15:59,688 --> 00:16:02,537 Now that you mention it... this is all comin' back to me! 368 00:16:02,543 --> 00:16:03,743 Ha! 369 00:16:03,932 --> 00:16:07,755 Finally! It was the greatest night ever! 370 00:16:07,761 --> 00:16:09,163 Yes, it was! 371 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,787 Oh my God! I just remembered. 372 00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:14,359 I made out with Beyonce's bodyguard! 373 00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:16,266 - (Elliot laughing) - That makes two of us! 374 00:16:16,272 --> 00:16:17,767 (all laughing) 375 00:16:17,773 --> 00:16:20,995 - We partied with Beyonce! - (all laughing) 376 00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:23,997 The PR god really came through for you guys! 377 00:16:24,003 --> 00:16:25,893 - (both laughing) - I'm gonna get going! 378 00:16:25,899 --> 00:16:27,368 Chant me out. 379 00:16:27,472 --> 00:16:34,179 BOTH: Elliot! Elliot! Elliot! Elliot! 380 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,594 God, the nothings are stupid. 381 00:16:40,975 --> 00:16:43,350 (gasps) My God... I feel a tug! 382 00:16:43,356 --> 00:16:47,875 - I think I got her! Okay. - Okay! Just go slow! Go slow! 383 00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,808 - (doorbell rings) - Go fast! Go fast! 384 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,745 (straining) 385 00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:57,483 (gasps) Oh my God, Kiki, you're alive! 386 00:16:57,489 --> 00:16:59,736 Wait a minute. All that and you don't even have the ball? 387 00:17:02,958 --> 00:17:05,030 Natasha, hey, how's your editor doing? 388 00:17:05,036 --> 00:17:06,483 Oh, she's gonna be fine. 389 00:17:06,489 --> 00:17:10,702 You know, I didn't realize how much I truly cared about her until tonight? 390 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,967 I mean, she's not just my editor. 391 00:17:12,973 --> 00:17:15,402 - She's my best friend. - Mm. 392 00:17:15,408 --> 00:17:17,256 TMZ ate that up! 393 00:17:17,892 --> 00:17:20,172 Oh, there's my baby! 394 00:17:20,178 --> 00:17:22,172 I hope she wasn't too much trouble. 395 00:17:22,178 --> 00:17:24,094 No, she just... played a lotta fetch. 396 00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,892 Ha! Yeah, she really flies after those balls! 397 00:17:27,769 --> 00:17:32,170 Anyway... my people will be in touch about the project and the book. 398 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,758 - Oh, looking forward to it. - Sounds good. 399 00:17:33,764 --> 00:17:36,561 And please feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions. 400 00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:38,960 Well, I do have just one... 401 00:17:39,043 --> 00:17:41,457 why does my little girl have a dick? 402 00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:45,947 Uhhh... well, that's a good question. 403 00:17:45,953 --> 00:17:48,735 Uh, first off, are you sure that he has... oh, now I see it. 404 00:17:49,824 --> 00:17:52,258 Where is Kiki Cook Campbell? 405 00:17:52,544 --> 00:17:54,271 - Uh... - (barking) 406 00:17:54,277 --> 00:17:56,057 Okay, Natasha, here's the thing. 407 00:17:56,552 --> 00:18:00,358 When we were on the phone, we were... we were playing on the balcony, and then... 408 00:18:00,364 --> 00:18:02,842 and then Gabi threw the ball, and then Kiki jumped and she fell... 409 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:04,366 In love! 410 00:18:04,469 --> 00:18:05,674 Kiki? 411 00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,181 Yep! 412 00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:11,575 That's her. Here ya go. 413 00:18:11,581 --> 00:18:14,365 This is so confusing. 414 00:18:14,371 --> 00:18:17,952 Well, you know, with... with all this talk about "Get Laid" chicken, 415 00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:20,390 I looked at Kiki, saw she was alone, and... 416 00:18:20,396 --> 00:18:22,656 thought as a fun, sexy story, for... 417 00:18:22,662 --> 00:18:26,479 our book, um, I could find her a boyfriend, and I did! 418 00:18:26,485 --> 00:18:28,583 Hence the... dick. 419 00:18:28,589 --> 00:18:32,132 Um... (laughs) So meet... Wagon. 420 00:18:32,639 --> 00:18:34,505 Why is he wearing her collar? 421 00:18:34,511 --> 00:18:37,350 Oh! We... we just wanted Wagon to get used to Kiki's scent. 422 00:18:37,356 --> 00:18:39,218 - Mm. - You know... (hushed) pheromones. 423 00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:41,633 Oh, and look at that, he loves her already. 424 00:18:42,030 --> 00:18:45,905 Adorable! You two seem great together. 425 00:18:45,911 --> 00:18:47,321 - Wait... us? - Are you insane? 426 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:50,035 - Not you, the dogs! - (elevator dings) 427 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,052 I'll be in touch tomorrow about the contracts. 428 00:18:52,058 --> 00:18:55,290 If you'll excuse me, I have a doggie wedding to plan and cater. 429 00:18:55,296 --> 00:18:57,120 Third time's the charm. 430 00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:01,661 Bye! 431 00:19:02,831 --> 00:19:06,116 Oh my God! I can't believe we pulled that off! 432 00:19:06,332 --> 00:19:09,857 Kiki must've also landed on the awning, slid off, and then, somehow, 433 00:19:09,863 --> 00:19:12,254 - made her way up the stairwell. - Who cares! 434 00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:15,310 My God, you got the deal with Natasha freakin' Cook Campbell. 435 00:19:15,316 --> 00:19:16,553 So did you. 436 00:19:16,778 --> 00:19:18,979 You know, it's too bad we're not in a relationship. 437 00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:22,167 We work well together. We'd be a pretty good team. 438 00:19:22,557 --> 00:19:26,152 Yeah, but then... someone would do something to make the other one mad. 439 00:19:26,846 --> 00:19:30,429 What could you possibly do to make me any more mad than what you did tonight? 440 00:19:31,940 --> 00:19:33,323 I got her hair! 441 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,432 And then get this... 442 00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:41,692 Beyonce calls me onstage to sing with her! 443 00:19:41,698 --> 00:19:43,372 Oh my God, you sang with Beyonce? 444 00:19:43,378 --> 00:19:45,170 Sang! With Yonce! 445 00:19:45,176 --> 00:19:48,609 Wow. Well, you are not the only one who had a crazy night. 446 00:19:48,615 --> 00:19:51,881 Natasha Cook Campbell's dog flew off Josh's terrace twice 447 00:19:51,887 --> 00:19:54,385 and lived, and I still got a cookbook deal out of it! 448 00:19:54,716 --> 00:19:58,779 Okay, Gabi, now it just sounds like you're making stuff up to top my story. 449 00:19:58,785 --> 00:19:59,985 (knock on door) 450 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,640 Am I? Or is that Natasha Cook Campbell 451 00:20:02,646 --> 00:20:05,567 bringing over the contracts for our book deal, ah, right now. 452 00:20:05,573 --> 00:20:06,773 (Sofia gasps) 453 00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:09,659 Hi, Natasha Cook Campbell. Hi, Kiki Cook Campbell. 454 00:20:09,927 --> 00:20:11,945 This is, uh, Sofia, my roommate. 455 00:20:11,951 --> 00:20:13,516 Hi, Natasha. (laughs nervously) 456 00:20:13,522 --> 00:20:16,352 Latina roommate, small enclosed spaces. 457 00:20:16,358 --> 00:20:18,454 (shudders) Prison flashback. 458 00:20:20,312 --> 00:20:22,323 Well, shall we make this official? 459 00:20:22,365 --> 00:20:24,263 Looks like you could use the money. 460 00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:26,373 Oh, well, where do I sign? 461 00:20:26,881 --> 00:20:28,081 (barks) 462 00:20:28,087 --> 00:20:30,904 Oh? Looks like I'm not the only one who's excited. 463 00:20:30,910 --> 00:20:33,374 You'd think Kiki'd be tired after playin' all that fetch. 464 00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:37,428 Aww... Kiki... you like to play fetch? 465 00:20:37,434 --> 00:20:40,124 Oh, okay... go get it! 466 00:20:42,546 --> 00:20:44,164 - (gasps and screams) - (car horn) 467 00:20:44,170 --> 00:20:45,370 Oh my god! 468 00:20:45,376 --> 00:20:48,623 - (gasps) Nooooo! - Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com 469 00:20:48,673 --> 00:20:53,223 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37234

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