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1
00:00:02,297 --> 00:00:04,297
Guys, gather round. I have
an announcement to make.
2
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,364
As you know, I've been
working on a new app.
3
00:00:08,369 --> 00:00:10,155
The app is called "Selfie-Control."
4
00:00:10,161 --> 00:00:12,530
It automatically curates
users' photos with an algorithm
5
00:00:12,536 --> 00:00:14,304
to let them know which ones
are gonna be most liked.
6
00:00:14,309 --> 00:00:16,509
Oh, that's easy.
7
00:00:16,515 --> 00:00:18,334
Any photo with you shirtless.
8
00:00:19,473 --> 00:00:21,834
Or any photo with you not in it.
9
00:00:23,072 --> 00:00:25,345
Now, as you know, I tend to get
a little nervous before a launch,
10
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:27,503
- so I decided I need...
- A massage!
11
00:00:27,509 --> 00:00:29,557
- Grilled cheese!
- Ooh, some weed!
12
00:00:32,634 --> 00:00:34,389
Every great man has a sidekick.
13
00:00:34,395 --> 00:00:35,879
Batman had Robin,
14
00:00:35,885 --> 00:00:37,339
Sherlock had Watson,
15
00:00:37,345 --> 00:00:39,040
and I, Josh Kaminski, have...
16
00:00:39,046 --> 00:00:40,246
(All) Me!
17
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,355
Randall!
18
00:00:42,361 --> 00:00:44,130
Meet Randall, my new assistant.
19
00:00:44,136 --> 00:00:46,874
He went to an Ivy League school
and is destined for big things.
20
00:00:46,988 --> 00:00:48,829
Hello, fellow employees.
21
00:00:50,589 --> 00:00:53,304
I wish I had time to socialize, but
we should really all get back to work.
22
00:00:53,309 --> 00:00:55,242
[laughter]
23
00:00:55,808 --> 00:00:57,129
Oh, he's serious.
24
00:00:57,899 --> 00:00:59,806
- Tick-tock, Josh.
- Great to meet you!
25
00:00:59,812 --> 00:01:01,376
- Pleasure!
- Welcome! He's weird.
26
00:01:01,382 --> 00:01:02,721
- Very.
- Oh, my damn.
27
00:01:03,148 --> 00:01:05,148
(theme music playing)
28
00:01:08,414 --> 00:01:10,606
She in the spotlight
29
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,374
And she turn my head
30
00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:14,353
She run a red light
31
00:01:14,359 --> 00:01:16,155
'Cause she bad like that
32
00:01:16,161 --> 00:01:19,950
I like that ooh, baby,
ooh, baby, baby
33
00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:23,210
-
I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com
34
00:01:24,419 --> 00:01:27,311
I don't know why they put
labels on these cleaning products
35
00:01:27,317 --> 00:01:29,484
telling you not to breathe in the fumes.
36
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:30,943
That's the best part.
37
00:01:32,904 --> 00:01:34,317
Excuse me.
38
00:01:34,826 --> 00:01:37,482
- What are you doing?
- Taking out Josh's trash.
39
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:40,108
I told you yesterday that that's my job.
40
00:01:40,114 --> 00:01:42,896
Now, keep your hands off my
trash before I beat your ass.
41
00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:48,058
I would, but as Josh's assistant,
42
00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:49,981
I can't let him work in filth.
43
00:01:50,635 --> 00:01:51,835
Oh, oh!
44
00:01:52,622 --> 00:01:54,997
Look at that guy doing my job for me.
45
00:01:55,788 --> 00:01:56,988
Why do I hate him?
46
00:01:58,317 --> 00:02:01,073
Yolanda, it's a big change to
have somebody new in the apartment.
47
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,507
You remember my first day here.
48
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,485
Hell no, I was drunk.
49
00:02:06,587 --> 00:02:07,935
No one talk to me today.
50
00:02:07,941 --> 00:02:09,955
I've got to get a press
release out for Josh's new app.
51
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,295
I already sent it from your computer.
52
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:12,955
So you can check that
off your to-do list.
53
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,153
You went on my computer, in my office?
54
00:02:15,159 --> 00:02:17,356
Mm, technically, it's Josh's computer,
55
00:02:17,362 --> 00:02:20,962
in his penthouse, and he told me to
do it, so... kind of just doing my job.
56
00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:22,931
- And mine.
- And mine.
57
00:02:23,133 --> 00:02:25,798
You guys, he's just trying to
impress Josh. Okay? He's not
58
00:02:25,804 --> 00:02:27,806
- trying to take your jobs away.
- Stop.
59
00:02:28,258 --> 00:02:29,470
I'll take that tray.
60
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,731
And, um, no more grilled cheese.
61
00:02:31,737 --> 00:02:33,900
This is a penthouse, not a trailer park.
62
00:02:36,107 --> 00:02:37,307
[murmuring]
63
00:02:37,313 --> 00:02:38,679
You guys!
64
00:02:38,685 --> 00:02:41,314
[sighs] Randall just
totally cook-blocked me.
65
00:02:42,489 --> 00:02:43,855
We've got to get rid of him.
66
00:02:43,861 --> 00:02:46,329
Trust me, I know these
number-crunching types.
67
00:02:46,335 --> 00:02:48,481
It's only a matter of time
before he convinces Josh,
68
00:02:48,487 --> 00:02:50,387
he doesn't need a full-time publicist.
69
00:02:50,393 --> 00:02:52,351
- Or a housekeeper.
- Or a personal chef.
70
00:02:52,357 --> 00:02:54,823
Who the hell needs a personal
chef five days a week?
71
00:02:55,253 --> 00:02:57,129
Oh, my God, what are we gonna do?
72
00:02:57,315 --> 00:02:58,580
I got it.
73
00:02:58,586 --> 00:03:00,952
If Josh sees sparks
between you and Randall,
74
00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:02,297
he'll get rid of him.
75
00:03:02,442 --> 00:03:03,827
Precious is right.
76
00:03:04,478 --> 00:03:07,856
I bet if you flirt with
Randall right in front of Josh,
77
00:03:07,862 --> 00:03:10,190
he'll get so jealy he'll fire him.
78
00:03:10,196 --> 00:03:12,751
I don't know, you guys. I mean,
I'm just back to work here.
79
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:15,602
Josh and I are finally friends. I
don't know if I want to jeopardize it.
80
00:03:15,993 --> 00:03:17,276
What a surprise.
81
00:03:17,282 --> 00:03:19,249
Lollygagging in the laundry room.
82
00:03:20,124 --> 00:03:23,366
Gabi, Josh has been asking for
his smoothie for five minutes.
83
00:03:23,372 --> 00:03:25,574
You know what? I got it.
84
00:03:26,647 --> 00:03:27,917
I'm in.
85
00:03:32,537 --> 00:03:34,133
Ooh!
86
00:03:34,139 --> 00:03:36,540
You look like a fancy prostitute.
87
00:03:37,569 --> 00:03:39,569
- You must have a date.
- Uh-huh.
88
00:03:39,575 --> 00:03:41,234
And it's Josh's new assistant.
89
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,671
He asked you out?
90
00:03:42,677 --> 00:03:45,767
Uh, no, I asked him. You
know how shy guys are.
91
00:03:45,773 --> 00:03:48,827
You gotta be a little more
forward, smile more, laugh harder,
92
00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:51,607
and, you know, when that doesn't work,
you just corner them and ask them out.
93
00:03:51,612 --> 00:03:54,709
Oh, maybe I can weave
this into my article.
94
00:03:54,715 --> 00:03:56,231
- Oh, what article?
- Well, I'm writing
95
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,833
a freelance dating article for
that relationship blog called...
96
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,518
"Posting and Ghosting."
97
00:04:01,624 --> 00:04:03,863
But you're not dating, you're all alone.
98
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:08,676
Yeah, I know. I'm just gonna make
it up. It's called journalism, Gabi.
99
00:04:09,677 --> 00:04:11,817
- [loud music playing]
- [scoffs] It's starting again.
100
00:04:11,823 --> 00:04:15,163
I cannot think with this blaring music.
101
00:04:15,169 --> 00:04:17,811
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
102
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:19,997
We have a broom?
103
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:21,751
That's it.
104
00:04:21,757 --> 00:04:25,220
You bring the music, Lil'
So-So's gonna bring the beat.
105
00:04:26,769 --> 00:04:28,722
[loud music continues]
106
00:04:30,266 --> 00:04:31,466
[music stops]
107
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,825
Hello, luv.
108
00:04:33,366 --> 00:04:34,572
Nice broom.
109
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,696
Thanks. I came here to...
110
00:04:39,288 --> 00:04:41,138
Sweep you off your feet.
111
00:04:41,697 --> 00:04:45,078
What a relief. I thought you might
be here to complain about my music.
112
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,704
[scoffs] More like complain
that it's not loud enough
113
00:04:47,710 --> 00:04:50,117
for this, uh, single, low-maintenance,
114
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,006
totally disease-free girl to hear.
115
00:04:52,716 --> 00:04:55,437
It's my band. We just
moved here from the UK.
116
00:04:55,443 --> 00:04:56,788
- Oh.
- Hey.
117
00:04:56,794 --> 00:04:58,325
Since I'm new in town,
118
00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,968
how about showing me around tomorrow?
119
00:05:00,289 --> 00:05:01,489
Around when?
120
00:05:01,495 --> 00:05:02,695
Around eight?
121
00:05:03,639 --> 00:05:06,403
See you then. [chuckles] Cheers, mate.
122
00:05:06,409 --> 00:05:09,876
Not that we're mating, just dating.
Are we dating? See you at eight!
123
00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:21,543
There she is.
124
00:05:21,549 --> 00:05:23,158
How was your date with Randall?
125
00:05:23,393 --> 00:05:26,208
Well, she's doing the walk
of shame in that outfit.
126
00:05:26,683 --> 00:05:28,523
These aren't the same
clothes I wore yesterday.
127
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,244
I know, you should still be ashamed.
128
00:05:31,797 --> 00:05:35,426
Anyway, you guys would've been
so proud. I flirted my ass off.
129
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,548
A batting of the eyes here and a
strategic touching of the arm there.
130
00:05:38,554 --> 00:05:40,212
He was putty in my hands.
131
00:05:40,747 --> 00:05:43,394
(Josh) Gabi, can you
please come in here?
132
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,644
- It's almost too easy.
- Mm-hmm.
133
00:05:49,939 --> 00:05:51,139
Have a seat.
134
00:05:54,749 --> 00:05:57,265
Seems as though we have a situation.
135
00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:58,691
Oh.
136
00:05:58,697 --> 00:05:59,897
Do we?
137
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,673
Randall, uh, he talked to me about you.
138
00:06:04,226 --> 00:06:05,535
Listen, Josh,
139
00:06:05,542 --> 00:06:08,817
if you're uncomfortable, and,
uh, you want to let him go,
140
00:06:08,823 --> 00:06:10,464
I understand.
141
00:06:11,462 --> 00:06:13,666
He said you sexually harassed him.
142
00:06:14,738 --> 00:06:16,561
What? No, I didn't do that.
143
00:06:16,567 --> 00:06:19,097
So you didn't keep asking him
out 12 times until he said yes.
144
00:06:19,103 --> 00:06:21,255
Hello, Josh, he said yes.
145
00:06:22,206 --> 00:06:24,426
He also said you were "handsy."
146
00:06:24,432 --> 00:06:26,711
Handsy? My hand never left his knee!
147
00:06:30,797 --> 00:06:33,516
[stomping]
148
00:06:33,522 --> 00:06:34,745
Hey, guys.
149
00:06:34,751 --> 00:06:36,329
Guess who's on the
verge of getting fired?
150
00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:37,534
- You.
- Yeah.
151
00:06:44,355 --> 00:06:48,397
"Whey protein, dried lentils,
cottage cheese." What is this?
152
00:06:48,403 --> 00:06:50,286
You reading. I'm shocked too.
153
00:06:52,356 --> 00:06:54,231
That's a shopping list from Randall.
154
00:06:54,237 --> 00:06:57,346
He said it's from Josh, and
that's what he wants in the fridge.
155
00:06:59,637 --> 00:07:02,471
And wait till you hear what
the little worm did to me.
156
00:07:02,477 --> 00:07:05,630
Oh, he had me clean all
the vents in the penthouse
157
00:07:05,636 --> 00:07:07,442
because Josh sneezed.
158
00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:09,349
They were filthy. Whoo!
159
00:07:09,842 --> 00:07:12,024
Somebody is not doing their job.
160
00:07:12,137 --> 00:07:13,936
Yeah, you.
161
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,439
Whatever, I still hate Randall.
162
00:07:17,392 --> 00:07:19,325
Yeah, well, he suggested to Josh
163
00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:21,265
that I tweet every hour
164
00:07:21,271 --> 00:07:23,204
to build buzz for Josh's new app.
165
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,945
Aren't you supposed to
be doing that anyway?
166
00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:28,025
Whatever. I still hate Randall.
167
00:07:31,205 --> 00:07:32,572
Hey, guys.
168
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:33,962
Oh, hello.
169
00:07:33,968 --> 00:07:36,813
I'm so sorry. I don't mean to
make you feel uncomfortable.
170
00:07:44,138 --> 00:07:47,456
I'm glad you're all here
and appear to be on break.
171
00:07:47,827 --> 00:07:49,707
Guys, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry.
172
00:07:49,713 --> 00:07:51,557
I think I came on a little strong
173
00:07:51,562 --> 00:07:53,217
and I'd like to make it up to you.
174
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,725
Drinks on me tonight?
175
00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:57,816
I'm sorry, I cannot socialize
with you according to LegalZoom.
176
00:07:59,597 --> 00:08:01,974
And I'm sorry, I have to wash my hair.
177
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:04,842
And I have to wash...
whosever hair this is.
178
00:08:05,612 --> 00:08:06,964
Hey, no, no, no.
179
00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:10,167
Uh, Randall, they would love
to have drinks with you tonight.
180
00:08:10,173 --> 00:08:12,703
It sound likes a
really excellent "plan."
181
00:08:14,325 --> 00:08:16,911
Great! We can all leave
together right after work.
182
00:08:16,917 --> 00:08:18,201
Yay!
183
00:08:18,653 --> 00:08:19,856
What the hell was that?
184
00:08:19,862 --> 00:08:21,450
My plan. You guys are
gonna take Randall out,
185
00:08:21,455 --> 00:08:23,724
and you're gonna get him really, really
drunk. Then he misses work for days
186
00:08:23,729 --> 00:08:25,325
and Josh has to fire him. Okay?
187
00:08:25,331 --> 00:08:28,261
So, you have to go really hard. I'm
talking Valentine's Day no-date hard.
188
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,456
That's genius.
189
00:08:30,462 --> 00:08:32,362
No one can out-drink Yolanda.
190
00:08:34,898 --> 00:08:36,569
Thanks, Elliot.
191
00:08:36,575 --> 00:08:38,442
Finally, a compliment.
192
00:08:42,571 --> 00:08:44,235
Ooh! Mm...
193
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,459
Mmm!
194
00:08:47,836 --> 00:08:49,648
What am I making, you ask?
195
00:08:51,386 --> 00:08:54,278
Gabi, this is Upstairs Rick.
196
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,838
Oh. You look a lot
different than you sound.
197
00:08:57,318 --> 00:08:58,536
Thanks, luv.
198
00:08:58,542 --> 00:09:00,375
He's British and in a band.
199
00:09:00,381 --> 00:09:01,665
He's magical.
200
00:09:02,563 --> 00:09:04,563
[rock music playing]
201
00:09:06,318 --> 00:09:08,318
New track. What do you think?
202
00:09:08,324 --> 00:09:09,834
It's killer!
203
00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:11,873
[whispers] It's killing me!
204
00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:13,685
I hate it.
205
00:09:13,691 --> 00:09:15,792
Well, you're gonna love me.
206
00:09:16,544 --> 00:09:20,698
Here. I use these every time
Josh talks about computery stuff.
207
00:09:21,449 --> 00:09:23,109
Bye, Upstairs Rick.
208
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:29,968
Pop.
209
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,400
Pop.
210
00:09:34,629 --> 00:09:37,440
Sofia, there's something
I want to ask you.
211
00:09:38,271 --> 00:09:43,538
[silence]
212
00:09:43,544 --> 00:09:44,850
[music plays again]
213
00:09:44,856 --> 00:09:50,269
[silence continuing]
214
00:09:50,275 --> 00:09:51,475
[music plays again]
215
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:56,188
Come on, luv. Don't
make me beg. Yes or no?
216
00:09:56,194 --> 00:09:58,536
You want a yes or no to
the question you just asked?
217
00:09:58,542 --> 00:10:00,113
Come on, be a doll.
218
00:10:00,119 --> 00:10:02,391
Say yes. Please.
219
00:10:02,597 --> 00:10:04,190
Yes, please.
220
00:10:05,693 --> 00:10:08,306
I can't believe I finally
got a girl to agree to this.
221
00:10:09,283 --> 00:10:10,556
Neither can I.
222
00:10:10,562 --> 00:10:11,762
[chuckles]
223
00:10:21,576 --> 00:10:23,342
Oh, my God.
224
00:10:23,912 --> 00:10:25,937
There you guys are.
I was getting worried.
225
00:10:25,943 --> 00:10:27,596
Girl, don't get me started.
226
00:10:28,263 --> 00:10:30,546
After drinks, we took
Randall out dancing.
227
00:10:30,552 --> 00:10:31,962
Then to a party.
228
00:10:31,968 --> 00:10:33,223
Then to an after-party.
229
00:10:33,229 --> 00:10:34,731
Then to an after-after-party.
230
00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:40,122
[slurring] We drank everything.
231
00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:44,530
He's probably at home
throwing up right now.
232
00:10:45,233 --> 00:10:48,213
What are you guys talking about?
Randall's been here since six.
233
00:10:48,219 --> 00:10:50,837
He already sent out a press release
and cleaned up Josh's office.
234
00:10:50,843 --> 00:10:52,809
What? He's here?
235
00:10:53,988 --> 00:10:56,390
Then who the hell did we
drop off at his apartment?
236
00:10:58,076 --> 00:10:59,645
Hello, this is Randall.
237
00:11:00,263 --> 00:11:02,761
I told you not to call me here!
238
00:11:03,451 --> 00:11:07,089
I must still be drunk 'cause I'm
hearing Randall's voice in my head.
239
00:11:08,169 --> 00:11:11,139
And I must still be
drunk 'cause you look hot.
240
00:11:11,145 --> 00:11:12,345
[gasps]
241
00:11:13,075 --> 00:11:17,256
Okay. I'm sober and I'm hearing it
too because it's coming from that vent.
242
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:18,462
[gasps]
243
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:22,295
Damn. If I knew I could
hear private conversations,
244
00:11:22,301 --> 00:11:24,311
I would have cleaned
those vents out years ago.
245
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,567
Shh!
246
00:11:25,573 --> 00:11:26,777
Shh!
247
00:11:26,783 --> 00:11:27,983
Shh!
248
00:11:27,989 --> 00:11:31,122
(Randall) Relax. He
doesn't suspect a thing.
249
00:11:31,128 --> 00:11:33,656
I'll be on my way as
soon as I get it. Goodbye!
250
00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:37,884
What is he getting
and where is he going?
251
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:40,465
Wait, Elliot, do you still
have that thingy on your thingy?
252
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:43,066
You mean GPS on my tablet?
253
00:11:43,824 --> 00:11:45,492
I speak stupid.
254
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,762
Thank you. Now, we're going to
know exactly what he's up to.
255
00:11:51,852 --> 00:11:53,059
[clears throat]
256
00:11:53,065 --> 00:11:54,747
Oh, hey, guys.
257
00:11:54,753 --> 00:11:56,620
I'm sorry I ditched you at that party.
258
00:11:56,626 --> 00:11:59,122
If I'm not home by midnight,
my mom gets worried.
259
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:00,970
Hey, Elliot.
260
00:12:00,976 --> 00:12:02,183
The beta version for my app
261
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,963
is transferring onto a
flash drive right now.
262
00:12:03,969 --> 00:12:06,738
As soon as it's done, I need you to
take it to the corporate office...
263
00:12:06,744 --> 00:12:07,944
You been drinking?
264
00:12:09,666 --> 00:12:11,745
Maybe... a little.
265
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,993
I can take it for you, Josh.
266
00:12:15,999 --> 00:12:17,634
Randall drank too!
267
00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:20,083
Ah, I did go out, but I don't drink.
268
00:12:20,089 --> 00:12:23,415
I only pretended to and poured
mine in a big black flowerpot.
269
00:12:23,888 --> 00:12:25,287
That was me, fool.
270
00:12:29,491 --> 00:12:31,344
Okay, look, as soon as
the drive finishes, I'll
271
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:34,016
- give it to you and you can take it.
- No! Give it to me.
272
00:12:34,022 --> 00:12:35,326
I can do it, I swear.
273
00:12:36,061 --> 00:12:37,663
Okay. Fine.
274
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:40,431
If you can spin around twice without
barfing, I'll let you take it.
275
00:12:41,693 --> 00:12:42,893
One...
276
00:12:42,899 --> 00:12:44,099
[gags]
277
00:12:49,286 --> 00:12:51,193
Last time I tracked someone,
278
00:12:51,199 --> 00:12:54,708
I found my husband at a motel
with his dental hygienist.
279
00:12:55,377 --> 00:12:57,956
Ironically, he was filling
one of her cavities.
280
00:13:00,389 --> 00:13:03,493
He's past Josh's corporate
office and is on the 101.
281
00:13:03,499 --> 00:13:05,969
[gasps] Maybe he's
headed to Silicon Valley.
282
00:13:05,975 --> 00:13:07,914
Where the tech companies are.
283
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,680
And a really good Pinkberry.
284
00:13:10,611 --> 00:13:12,285
Oh, my God. Do you know what this means?
285
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:16,027
Yeah, he's getting yogurt instead of
doing his job. We got him, you guys.
286
00:13:16,923 --> 00:13:18,612
Guys, I'm heading out...
287
00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:20,867
And my staff went home at three.
288
00:13:21,781 --> 00:13:23,715
- He's a spy!
- A liar!
289
00:13:23,721 --> 00:13:25,985
- We gotta stop him.
- Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
290
00:13:25,991 --> 00:13:28,826
Calm down. One at a time.
What's this all about?
291
00:13:28,832 --> 00:13:31,874
We found out bad things about
Randall. Bad, bad things.
292
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,044
Randall didn't go to
your corporate office. No!
293
00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:36,482
He's headed to Silicon
Valley because he's...
294
00:13:38,356 --> 00:13:40,964
- Help!
- Oh, my God. Randall, what happened?
295
00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:43,603
I was walking to my car
when a black SUV pulled up
296
00:13:43,609 --> 00:13:44,919
and three guys jumped out.
297
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:49,042
They asked if I worked for you and
when I proudly said yes, they jumped me.
298
00:13:49,842 --> 00:13:53,324
Damn, even when he's beat
senseless, he's a suck-up.
299
00:13:54,191 --> 00:13:56,148
I fought as hard as I could,
300
00:13:56,154 --> 00:13:58,426
but my yellow belt in karate failed me.
301
00:13:58,918 --> 00:14:01,898
They overpowered me
and took my backpack.
302
00:14:02,003 --> 00:14:04,214
But I didn't let them
get your flash drive.
303
00:14:05,050 --> 00:14:06,678
Did I do good, Josh?
304
00:14:08,509 --> 00:14:10,150
You did great, buddy.
305
00:14:12,104 --> 00:14:13,573
Well, look at that.
306
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:16,237
Randall risked his life for me.
307
00:14:16,609 --> 00:14:18,212
You guys thought he was a spy.
308
00:14:18,501 --> 00:14:19,766
A spy?
309
00:14:19,772 --> 00:14:22,773
Yeah, we heard you on the phone
telling someone that he'd get it soon,
310
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,982
and "He doesn't suspect a thing."
311
00:14:24,988 --> 00:14:26,989
Yeah. My dad doesn't suspect a thing
312
00:14:26,995 --> 00:14:29,983
because my mom and I were planning
a surprise birthday party for him.
313
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,706
Randall, I am so sorry.
314
00:14:33,712 --> 00:14:35,422
Can you guys get some
aspirin, some towels,
315
00:14:35,428 --> 00:14:36,886
and help clean Randall up, please?
316
00:14:36,892 --> 00:14:38,570
- Sure thing.
- Sorry, Randall.
317
00:14:39,695 --> 00:14:41,915
I'm gonna go drop off the
drive at my office myself.
318
00:14:41,921 --> 00:14:44,742
Wait! Aren't you afraid? What if
the scary men are still out there?
319
00:14:44,748 --> 00:14:46,379
Oh, please, Gabi. I can handle myself.
320
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:47,888
Elliot, they still in Silicon Valley?
321
00:14:47,894 --> 00:14:49,444
- Yeah.
- Gabi, I can handle myself.
322
00:14:54,615 --> 00:14:56,843
Gabi, Rick's coming over
any minute, and I still
323
00:14:56,849 --> 00:14:58,654
don't know what it is
I agreed to do with him.
324
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,000
I'm really freaking out.
325
00:15:00,428 --> 00:15:01,919
What if it's something kinky?
326
00:15:02,982 --> 00:15:04,320
Sofia's in, mate.
327
00:15:04,326 --> 00:15:07,117
She's gonna be our new tambourine girl.
328
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:09,426
How brilliant is that?
329
00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:12,203
[knocking]
330
00:15:12,531 --> 00:15:13,948
[whimpers]
331
00:15:16,472 --> 00:15:17,761
Hello, hello.
332
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:19,460
What is that? What is that?
333
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,941
Oh, it's a bottle of bubbly
to get us in the mood.
334
00:15:22,947 --> 00:15:25,144
Oh, good. Good, good, good.
335
00:15:25,439 --> 00:15:26,738
Good. [chuckles]
336
00:15:27,347 --> 00:15:31,059
Okay, ah, so, you
remember how yesterday, um,
337
00:15:31,065 --> 00:15:34,540
- I kind of agreed to do something...
- Yes, yes. And I am so excited.
338
00:15:34,546 --> 00:15:37,008
I've been trying to get a girl
to do this for a while, but...
339
00:15:37,014 --> 00:15:38,335
most are too shy.
340
00:15:40,677 --> 00:15:41,881
- They are?
- So,
341
00:15:41,887 --> 00:15:44,748
do we need to pick one up or do you
have one that you like to play with?
342
00:15:47,411 --> 00:15:49,088
Uh...
343
00:15:50,239 --> 00:15:52,413
I don't know. Uh... What does...
344
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:55,160
- what does it look like again?
- [laughs]
345
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:56,602
You're funny.
346
00:15:56,608 --> 00:15:58,551
I know you've seen a few in your day.
347
00:15:59,239 --> 00:16:01,929
But this... but this particular
one you're speaking of,
348
00:16:01,935 --> 00:16:03,900
is it... is it big, is it small?
349
00:16:05,176 --> 00:16:07,660
Well, the one I use is 12
inches, but you're kind of petite,
350
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:09,888
- so you might want to...
- Okay. Uh...
351
00:16:11,455 --> 00:16:14,935
As long as you can hold it in one hand
and slap it against your bum, right?
352
00:16:15,735 --> 00:16:18,916
Wrong. Wrong. I... I
don't think I can do this.
353
00:16:18,922 --> 00:16:20,588
Sofia, Sofia, don't worry.
354
00:16:20,594 --> 00:16:22,495
We'll go slow until
you get the hang of it.
355
00:16:23,876 --> 00:16:25,938
In no time, you'll be using two at once.
356
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,879
And the guys in the band
357
00:16:28,885 --> 00:16:31,026
- cannot wait to see you in action.
- Okay. Great.
358
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,964
Listen, I am a good girl from Florida,
359
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:34,730
okay, and whatever sick
thing you've got planned
360
00:16:34,735 --> 00:16:36,839
- is just not gonna happen.
- Sofia, please.
361
00:16:36,845 --> 00:16:39,837
It's natural to be nervous, but...
I'm gonna be right behind you
362
00:16:39,843 --> 00:16:41,361
- the whole time.
- Ew, just go.
363
00:16:42,045 --> 00:16:43,321
Go.
364
00:16:46,192 --> 00:16:47,992
Is there anything I can do for you?
365
00:16:47,998 --> 00:16:51,294
Well, my mom used to make me
chicken noodle soup to feel better.
366
00:16:51,629 --> 00:16:53,028
Okay, I'll make you some.
367
00:16:53,034 --> 00:16:55,768
Yeah, ah, it has to be my mom's
recipe. I e-mailed it to you.
368
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,883
- Super.
- Mm-hmm.
369
00:16:59,663 --> 00:17:01,315
Randall, I have a question.
370
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,937
Do I forgive you?
371
00:17:02,943 --> 00:17:06,091
- It'll be hard, but I...
- After you got mugged,
372
00:17:06,097 --> 00:17:07,645
did you get a makeover?
373
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:09,027
- [Gabi gasps]
- What?
374
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:12,184
Oh, my God! You didn't get beat up.
375
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:13,972
Your black eye has sparkles in it.
376
00:17:13,978 --> 00:17:16,677
Uh... I... I... I... I can explain.
377
00:17:16,683 --> 00:17:18,404
Then talk fast.
378
00:17:19,774 --> 00:17:21,189
Fine, I faked getting mugged.
379
00:17:21,616 --> 00:17:24,641
- Why?
- Why do you think? Money.
380
00:17:24,647 --> 00:17:27,164
This new app is gonna
make someone very rich.
381
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,678
Especially me.
382
00:17:28,684 --> 00:17:31,754
I froze you three out and earned Josh's
trust and he let me take that drive.
383
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,667
And then I cloned it, gave it to
my partners, who are gonna sell it.
384
00:17:35,168 --> 00:17:38,019
Finally, I can afford to move
out of my parents' basement.
385
00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:42,527
The hell you can, bitch! Haha!
386
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:44,639
I didn't trust you.
387
00:17:44,645 --> 00:17:47,595
So before Josh gave you the
flash drive, I switched it.
388
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:50,235
The drive I gave you had
my honeymoon photos on it.
389
00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:52,091
I didn't trust him either.
390
00:17:52,097 --> 00:17:53,963
So I switched out the flash drive
391
00:17:53,969 --> 00:17:56,397
for my Best of the Barrys flash drive.
392
00:17:57,422 --> 00:17:59,738
Gibb, White, Manilow.
393
00:18:00,337 --> 00:18:02,950
Oh, my God. We all did the same thing.
394
00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:05,443
You have a Best of the
Barrys flash drive too?
395
00:18:06,006 --> 00:18:08,140
No, No. I did... I didn't
have my own flash drive,
396
00:18:08,146 --> 00:18:09,404
so I went into Josh's office
397
00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:11,874
and I found a new one in the
bottom drawer of his cabinet.
398
00:18:11,879 --> 00:18:15,568
So the one that Randall sold was
just a brand-new, blank flash drive.
399
00:18:15,574 --> 00:18:17,664
Boom! Yeah.
400
00:18:17,670 --> 00:18:20,312
I can't believe I've been busted
by the most unprofessional,
401
00:18:20,318 --> 00:18:24,182
codependent, sexual-harassing,
binge-drinking losers I've ever seen.
402
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,448
I'm out!
403
00:18:25,454 --> 00:18:26,988
Whoa!
404
00:18:28,673 --> 00:18:30,785
You forgot "floor waxin'."
405
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,855
See, if you didn't make me do my job,
406
00:18:33,861 --> 00:18:36,310
the floor would be
sticky like it usually is.
407
00:18:37,008 --> 00:18:38,551
- Ha!
- [door opens]
408
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:42,125
Um... why is Randall on the floor?
409
00:18:42,131 --> 00:18:45,070
Because he was a spy. His
black eye was fake. See?
410
00:18:45,076 --> 00:18:48,273
And he admitted giving a flash
drive to his partners to sell.
411
00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:50,967
And then he tried to run
and slipped on the floor.
412
00:18:50,973 --> 00:18:52,517
Which I clean on a daily basis.
413
00:18:54,545 --> 00:18:56,256
Well, that is a relief.
414
00:18:57,838 --> 00:18:59,290
God, I'm smart.
415
00:19:00,465 --> 00:19:01,872
What are you talking about?
416
00:19:01,878 --> 00:19:03,458
Well, look, I didn't want
to say anything earlier
417
00:19:03,463 --> 00:19:04,665
'cause I didn't want
to hurt his feelings.
418
00:19:04,670 --> 00:19:06,880
But do you think I'm gonna trust a
guy who's worked for me for one week
419
00:19:06,885 --> 00:19:08,966
with an app I've been
developing for six months?
420
00:19:08,972 --> 00:19:10,775
No way.
421
00:19:10,781 --> 00:19:12,733
I switched the drives.
I gave him a fake one.
422
00:19:12,739 --> 00:19:15,501
The real one I hid for safekeeping
in the bottom drawer of my cabinet.
423
00:19:19,381 --> 00:19:22,344
Your, uh... cabinet drawer
on the left-hand side?
424
00:19:23,272 --> 00:19:25,686
Yeah. Why? Why do you know that?
You didn't touch that drive,
425
00:19:25,692 --> 00:19:28,083
- did you?
- No! Of course not.
426
00:19:28,089 --> 00:19:32,358
Like any of us would go into your
private office and touch your stuff.
427
00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:36,383
Hey, uh... do you know what I'm craving?
428
00:19:36,502 --> 00:19:37,702
Pinkberry.
429
00:19:39,936 --> 00:19:42,594
I hear there's a good
one in Silicon Valley.
430
00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:45,484
Let's go there now.
431
00:19:49,169 --> 00:19:50,989
They posted my dating
article, by the way.
432
00:19:50,995 --> 00:19:53,570
- Congratulations! What's it about?
- Thanks.
433
00:19:53,576 --> 00:19:57,211
Oh... okay, uh, this is a
little embarrassing, but, um...
434
00:19:57,217 --> 00:20:00,689
Do you remember when you were asking
me about playing the tambourine?
435
00:20:01,103 --> 00:20:03,773
Well, I actually thought
you were talking about, um...
436
00:20:03,779 --> 00:20:05,371
- [whispers]
- God, no!
437
00:20:06,653 --> 00:20:09,197
I'm a romantic, I'm not a pervert.
438
00:20:09,434 --> 00:20:11,785
Oh, my God. Me too.
Romantic all the way.
439
00:20:12,441 --> 00:20:14,082
Well, speaking of which,
440
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,552
what do you say we scamper
off to the bedroom with...
441
00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:19,662
with this?
442
00:20:20,066 --> 00:20:21,574
Oh.
443
00:20:21,580 --> 00:20:23,841
You want to make love by candlelight?
444
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:26,012
No, darling. I want you to light
this and then drip the hot wax
445
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,402
all over my nipples.
446
00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:42,948
Your nipples, right?
447
00:20:42,954 --> 00:20:47,997
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448
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:52,597
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