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1
00:00:01,118 --> 00:00:02,318
Oh, my God!
2
00:00:02,319 --> 00:00:03,881
When did you have time to do all this?
3
00:00:03,882 --> 00:00:05,803
I thought we were gonna decorate together.
4
00:00:05,804 --> 00:00:09,872
Yeah, well I just got excited
and you don't do it as good as me.
5
00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:14,313
My God, Gabi. This is a lot of food.
6
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:15,860
I love it when you have P.M.S.
7
00:00:15,861 --> 00:00:17,774
No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no! No.
8
00:00:18,555 --> 00:00:21,778
This is for the homeless shelter that
we're volunteering at on Christmas Eve.
9
00:00:21,779 --> 00:00:24,587
- Oh.
- It's all apart of our big Christmas plan.
10
00:00:24,588 --> 00:00:26,300
Oh, so we have a plan.
11
00:00:26,301 --> 00:00:28,115
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
12
00:00:28,323 --> 00:00:30,713
You see, this is the first Christmas
we're not spending with our families,
13
00:00:30,714 --> 00:00:31,979
because my dad's out of town...
14
00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:34,555
Yeah, and because tickets are
cheaper after the holidays,
15
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:37,378
so I'm flying home to see
my family on the 26th...
16
00:00:37,379 --> 00:00:38,702
...of March.
17
00:00:39,754 --> 00:00:42,230
I decided we gotta make it
special by creating new traditions.
18
00:00:42,231 --> 00:00:47,277
Ooh! Like sipping mulled wine and
doing a 2,000 piece jigsaw puzzle!
19
00:00:47,278 --> 00:00:48,478
Maybe.
20
00:00:49,739 --> 00:00:51,781
- Put that on. Oh, you're so cute.
- (Knock on door)
21
00:00:53,308 --> 00:00:55,213
Who wants a virgin eggnog?
22
00:00:55,214 --> 00:00:56,696
Ooh, I do.
23
00:00:56,697 --> 00:00:58,137
Then don't drink this.
24
00:00:59,376 --> 00:01:02,689
Wow, seems like somebody's already
getting into the Christmas spirits.
25
00:01:02,942 --> 00:01:04,502
Oh, hell no.
26
00:01:04,769 --> 00:01:07,066
- I'm not celebrating this year.
- What? Why?
27
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,545
'Cause I have no family.
28
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,662
What are you talking about,
Yolanda? You have three kids.
29
00:01:12,833 --> 00:01:16,352
Oh, my son's going over to
his girlfriend's mama's house.
30
00:01:16,404 --> 00:01:19,438
My other one is studying abroad, and
my daughter's serving in the military.
31
00:01:19,473 --> 00:01:20,673
Selfish!
32
00:01:21,980 --> 00:01:23,613
You must have other family.
33
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:26,034
Oh, just my sister... and she's dead.
34
00:01:26,473 --> 00:01:27,673
She is?
35
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,255
To me.
36
00:01:30,436 --> 00:01:33,150
We haven't talked in five years,
and that ain't long enough.
37
00:01:33,448 --> 00:01:35,688
Oh, no! What happened?
38
00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:37,878
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Okay.
39
00:01:37,879 --> 00:01:40,877
Well, we've always had
this sibling rivalry,
40
00:01:42,092 --> 00:01:45,150
and then she meets this rich, pompous ass,
41
00:01:45,209 --> 00:01:47,956
and then all of a sudden, I'm
not good enough for her anymore.
42
00:01:47,957 --> 00:01:49,449
So good riddance.
43
00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:53,344
Yolanda, it's Christmas. It's
time for love and forgiveness.
44
00:01:53,345 --> 00:01:54,651
Ha! Pass.
45
00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:56,894
I'm sorry, I think I made it
seem like you have a choice.
46
00:01:56,895 --> 00:01:57,930
Call her.
47
00:01:57,931 --> 00:01:59,651
- Oh, look, you don't understand...
- Call her!
48
00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:01,444
- (Yolanda stammers)
- Call her, call her, call her, call her...
49
00:02:01,445 --> 00:02:02,815
It'll never end.
50
00:02:02,819 --> 00:02:04,019
Fine.
51
00:02:04,184 --> 00:02:05,987
I can't believe I'm doing this.
52
00:02:06,383 --> 00:02:08,526
I don't even remember what
I put her number under.
53
00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:10,647
Oh, yeah. "I."
54
00:02:10,648 --> 00:02:13,173
- "I"?
- "I can't stand this bitch."
55
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,863
(Theme music playing)
56
00:02:20,262 --> 00:02:22,543
She in the spotlight
57
00:02:22,544 --> 00:02:24,279
And she turned my head
58
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,202
She'd run a red light
59
00:02:26,203 --> 00:02:28,017
'Cause she's bad like that
60
00:02:28,018 --> 00:02:31,980
I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby, baby
61
00:02:31,981 --> 00:02:35,150
-
I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby
- Sync/corrections PetaG - www.addic7ed.com
62
00:02:35,543 --> 00:02:40,023
I am so excited your sister's coming to
Josh's tonight for Christmas Eve dinner.
63
00:02:40,024 --> 00:02:42,142
I did a good thing, huh? Huh?
64
00:02:42,143 --> 00:02:43,859
As long as I look better than her.
65
00:02:43,894 --> 00:02:45,279
Yolanda, it's not about that.
66
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:46,627
The hell it isn't.
67
00:02:47,604 --> 00:02:50,473
She's probably getting a
hundred dollar blowout right now.
68
00:02:50,808 --> 00:02:53,741
And I'm gonna blow out these pants
if don't get a stronger Spanx.
69
00:02:54,655 --> 00:02:56,271
I'll see y'all later.
70
00:02:56,498 --> 00:02:57,698
(Giggles)
71
00:02:57,699 --> 00:03:00,859
Okay, now it's time for my
favorite part of Christmas,
72
00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:03,316
buying each other gifts under...
$20.
73
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:06,825
Oh! Is this Gucci purse under $20?
74
00:03:07,247 --> 00:03:09,109
Uh, no. But you know what is?
75
00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:11,030
- What?
- A picture of you wearing it.
76
00:03:12,547 --> 00:03:13,755
Cute!
77
00:03:13,756 --> 00:03:15,739
Okay, take it off.
78
00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:18,068
But isn't Christmas about love?
79
00:03:18,069 --> 00:03:19,269
I love it.
80
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,019
Well, I can give you 919 reasons
81
00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:24,513
why it's just not that into you.
82
00:03:24,514 --> 00:03:25,714
Ooh-wee.
83
00:03:26,023 --> 00:03:28,819
Yeah, you're right. It's too expensive.
84
00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:30,965
Unless...
85
00:03:31,065 --> 00:03:32,265
(Pops lips)
86
00:03:34,802 --> 00:03:36,055
Unless what?
87
00:03:36,309 --> 00:03:38,663
Oh, I don't know. I just thought
if I looked at you like that,
88
00:03:38,664 --> 00:03:40,477
you'd come up with one of your crazy plans.
89
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,459
I do have a plan.
90
00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:44,584
Checking out these shiny $10 barrettes.
91
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:52,816
- Oh, this bar code won't scan.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
92
00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:55,197
Oh, no, no. Let me just use my hands.
93
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,542
You know, that's okay actually. We can't...
94
00:03:57,543 --> 00:03:59,243
it's $19.
95
00:03:59,244 --> 00:04:01,343
...say no to whatever is happening.
96
00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:04,006
Sofia, she obviously made a mistake.
97
00:04:04,007 --> 00:04:06,714
That's 22.66 with tax.
98
00:04:06,715 --> 00:04:09,145
- You just keep the change.
- Oh.
99
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,240
Hey, hey. What the hell did you just do?
100
00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:12,980
Witnessed a Christmas miracle.
101
00:04:18,154 --> 00:04:20,671
Merry Christmas Eve Eve everybody.
102
00:04:20,672 --> 00:04:23,708
May we all embrace the
happiness and the warmth of...
103
00:04:23,709 --> 00:04:24,909
hands off the ham!
104
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,284
We're waiting for Yolanda's sister.
105
00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:30,820
As usual, JoJo has to make a big entrance.
106
00:04:30,926 --> 00:04:34,454
If she looks like you, her
entrance would have to be huge.
107
00:04:34,455 --> 00:04:36,951
(Glass dings)
108
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:38,490
While we wait,
109
00:04:38,984 --> 00:04:43,235
I'd like to say thank you to Gabi
for making a fantastic dinner,
110
00:04:43,296 --> 00:04:46,377
and thank you to all of you guys
for helping me celebrate early.
111
00:04:46,378 --> 00:04:48,866
Before I leave for my annual
ski trip with Crazy Pete.
112
00:04:48,901 --> 00:04:50,249
You know, (Chuckles)
113
00:04:50,376 --> 00:04:52,643
I'm actually the one that
gave Crazy Pete his nickname.
114
00:04:52,644 --> 00:04:53,844
Funny story...
115
00:04:53,845 --> 00:04:56,619
(Thinking) Ugh! I can't believe
Alan went on a Hanukkah cruise
116
00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:58,089
with his parents without me.
117
00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,967
(Gasps) What if it goes down?
118
00:05:00,577 --> 00:05:02,833
Who am I kidding? It's a Jewish cruise.
119
00:05:02,834 --> 00:05:04,034
It doesn't go down.
120
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,669
(Thinking) I'm so glad I got to spend
Christmas with the one I love...
121
00:05:07,882 --> 00:05:09,617
My purse.
122
00:05:09,618 --> 00:05:11,546
(Thinking) Look at this
amazing meal I cooked.
123
00:05:11,547 --> 00:05:13,816
And best of all, I'm reuniting two sisters.
124
00:05:13,998 --> 00:05:16,058
I am the Christmas whisperer.
125
00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:18,356
(Thinking) Thank God for eggnog.
126
00:05:19,373 --> 00:05:22,250
And then Pete takes off
his pirate hat, right?
127
00:05:22,504 --> 00:05:25,804
And I say, "Pete, you arrrgh crazy."
128
00:05:25,805 --> 00:05:27,148
(Laughs)
129
00:05:27,149 --> 00:05:28,380
- Good one.
- Great story.
130
00:05:28,381 --> 00:05:30,523
- Too funny, Josh.
- But seriously, though.
131
00:05:31,354 --> 00:05:35,155
I can't imagine spending
Christmas Eve Eve with anyone else.
132
00:05:35,156 --> 00:05:36,856
Cheers to family.
133
00:05:36,857 --> 00:05:38,458
- Oh!
- To family.
134
00:05:38,608 --> 00:05:39,883
(Doorbell rings)
135
00:05:39,884 --> 00:05:41,814
Oh, crap. It's family.
136
00:05:42,833 --> 00:05:44,966
Okay, how do I look?
137
00:05:44,967 --> 00:05:46,341
- Amazing.
- (Giggles)
138
00:05:46,423 --> 00:05:48,147
I didn't hear you say thin.
139
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,810
And you never will.
140
00:05:53,126 --> 00:05:54,326
Pfft.
141
00:05:54,959 --> 00:05:56,361
(Sighs) Okay.
142
00:05:58,365 --> 00:05:59,659
Merry Christmas, JoJo.
143
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,173
Merry Christmas, YoYo.
144
00:06:01,210 --> 00:06:02,410
How was your flight?
145
00:06:02,411 --> 00:06:04,382
Oh, first class isn't what it used to be,
146
00:06:04,383 --> 00:06:06,674
but... oh, you'll have
to take my word for that.
147
00:06:07,708 --> 00:06:09,907
Well, you look nice too.
148
00:06:10,151 --> 00:06:12,921
I see money couldn't fix
all your problem areas.
149
00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:14,421
Okay.
150
00:06:14,422 --> 00:06:17,115
Hello. Haha. Merry Christmas.
151
00:06:17,116 --> 00:06:18,705
Wow, don't you two look alike.
152
00:06:18,706 --> 00:06:21,162
- Who are you?
- Oh, I'm-I'm Gabi. I'm the chef.
153
00:06:21,383 --> 00:06:23,183
Then why are you making
eye contact with me?
154
00:06:23,184 --> 00:06:24,440
(Yolanda laughs)
155
00:06:24,441 --> 00:06:27,676
Everyone, this is my sister, Jolanda.
156
00:06:28,061 --> 00:06:30,762
(Laughs)
157
00:06:30,763 --> 00:06:33,156
Wait, your parents name
you Yolanda and Jolanda?
158
00:06:33,157 --> 00:06:34,357
Yeah, what's wrong with that?
159
00:06:34,358 --> 00:06:36,851
- What's the problem?
- Yeah. That's what we got our name...
160
00:06:36,852 --> 00:06:38,146
JoJo!
161
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,729
Long time no see.
162
00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:42,076
Merry Christmas, Josh!
163
00:06:42,077 --> 00:06:43,469
Oh, whoo!
164
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,857
I see you really did well for yourself.
165
00:06:45,858 --> 00:06:49,454
Yes, it is so nice to see
that you haven't forgotten
166
00:06:49,455 --> 00:06:51,917
all the little people
that clean your toilets.
167
00:06:51,918 --> 00:06:54,355
(Laughs) Well, you know what they say.
168
00:06:54,356 --> 00:06:56,254
More toilets, more money.
169
00:06:56,256 --> 00:06:57,919
And I'm swimming in it.
170
00:06:58,489 --> 00:07:00,214
The money, not the toilets.
171
00:07:01,101 --> 00:07:03,664
All right, who's... who's ready...
is everybody ready for dinner?
172
00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:05,183
- Yes! I'm ready.
- Okay.
173
00:07:05,996 --> 00:07:11,481
So... then you're gonna
apologize to me after dinner?
174
00:07:11,705 --> 00:07:13,551
Apologize for what, JoJo?
175
00:07:13,552 --> 00:07:16,049
For you not coming to my
wedding five years ago.
176
00:07:16,222 --> 00:07:20,088
Oh, I would be happy to if you
apologize for not making me a bridesmaid.
177
00:07:20,089 --> 00:07:22,565
You're a maid everyday, I
figured you needed a break.
178
00:07:22,566 --> 00:07:25,122
- Oh, I'm gonna break something...
- Oh, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait!
179
00:07:25,123 --> 00:07:26,323
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
180
00:07:27,419 --> 00:07:29,688
Yolanda, Jolanda... (Laughs)
181
00:07:29,689 --> 00:07:30,889
Sorry.
182
00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:32,723
I don't know if you two realize this,
183
00:07:32,724 --> 00:07:36,280
but you are both a part of a
big, beautiful Christmas plan.
184
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,215
I ain't got time for this. I'm out of here.
185
00:07:39,143 --> 00:07:41,235
Oh, well, let me get the door for you.
186
00:07:41,236 --> 00:07:42,957
You should, it's your job.
187
00:07:42,958 --> 00:07:45,108
No, no. Wait. Wait, wait, stop.
188
00:07:45,109 --> 00:07:46,325
Stop, stop, stop. Stop!
189
00:07:46,671 --> 00:07:47,970
Okay, ready? First,
190
00:07:47,971 --> 00:07:50,087
I made this beautiful dinner and tomorrow
191
00:07:50,088 --> 00:07:52,076
I'm serving the homeless at St. Joseph's.
192
00:07:52,077 --> 00:07:53,954
And you know the most joyous part
193
00:07:53,955 --> 00:07:56,267
was going to be reuniting
you two in the spirit of...
194
00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:57,832
Christmas.
195
00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:01,522
Thanks, Gabi.
196
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,872
Now it's the worst Christmas ever!
197
00:08:09,635 --> 00:08:11,558
I feel so bad about JoJo and Yolanda.
198
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,247
I mean, why couldn't they work it out?
199
00:08:13,389 --> 00:08:14,795
Damn those sisters.
200
00:08:17,104 --> 00:08:18,787
Oh, not you sisters.
201
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:20,652
Big fan of your work.
202
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,393
Gabi, can we focus on
what's really important here?
203
00:08:24,394 --> 00:08:26,934
I'm starting to feel really
guilty about my purse.
204
00:08:27,877 --> 00:08:29,566
Okay, so then return it.
205
00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:30,810
I said starting to.
206
00:08:30,971 --> 00:08:32,788
You know, I ruined Yolanda's Christmas,
207
00:08:32,789 --> 00:08:35,438
and now JoJo's on a first
class flight back to Houston.
208
00:08:35,565 --> 00:08:37,665
Uh... or she's sitting over there
209
00:08:37,666 --> 00:08:39,765
eating yams because she's homeless.
210
00:08:40,577 --> 00:08:41,777
JoJo?
211
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:45,407
Uh... this is not what it looks like.
212
00:08:45,408 --> 00:08:47,125
Oh, so you're not homeless.
213
00:08:47,714 --> 00:08:49,452
I guess this is what it looks like.
214
00:08:53,819 --> 00:08:55,019
(Knock on door)
215
00:08:56,356 --> 00:08:57,685
Gabi, I got your note.
216
00:08:57,686 --> 00:08:59,567
Your handwriting is terrible.
217
00:09:00,535 --> 00:09:02,627
Why can't you just text
like the other youths do?
218
00:09:03,308 --> 00:09:05,562
There's something you
need to know about Jolanda.
219
00:09:05,563 --> 00:09:07,390
Oh, that she's unbearable,
220
00:09:07,391 --> 00:09:09,433
- condescending...
- She's homeless.
221
00:09:09,468 --> 00:09:11,501
What the hell are you talking about, Gabi?
222
00:09:11,737 --> 00:09:14,972
She doesn't have one
of these over her head!
223
00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:19,210
Oh, yeah.
224
00:09:19,741 --> 00:09:21,161
Oh, yeah.
225
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:24,051
This ski suit is fly.
226
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,536
(Elliot whimpers, cries)
227
00:09:30,656 --> 00:09:31,856
(Crying)
228
00:09:36,312 --> 00:09:37,829
What are you doing here?
229
00:09:38,171 --> 00:09:39,371
What's it look like?
230
00:09:39,372 --> 00:09:43,269
Alan's gone, and I'm sad eating
peppermint bark on your floor.
231
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,103
(Sobs)
232
00:09:45,204 --> 00:09:46,404
Oh.
233
00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:48,850
You wanna talk about it?
234
00:09:49,751 --> 00:09:51,310
What's the point?
235
00:09:51,389 --> 00:09:53,074
Alan's already on the cruise.
236
00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:56,270
I'd rather talk about
why you look like Gumby.
237
00:09:57,466 --> 00:09:59,423
What? This is my gear.
238
00:09:59,461 --> 00:10:01,190
Crazy Pete said we're
not just going skiing,
239
00:10:01,191 --> 00:10:03,339
we're going ultimate extreme skiing.
240
00:10:03,451 --> 00:10:05,657
He actually sent me a video
of guys doing it. Wanna watch?
241
00:10:05,658 --> 00:10:09,292
- I love videos of guys doing it.
- Skiing! Skiing, Elliot.
242
00:10:10,321 --> 00:10:11,529
(Sobs)
243
00:10:11,530 --> 00:10:14,164
I miss Alan so much.
244
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,900
(Sobbing)
245
00:10:16,901 --> 00:10:18,204
I know you do, buddy.
246
00:10:19,288 --> 00:10:20,525
Hey.
247
00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:23,407
Bring it in.
248
00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:26,944
There you go.
249
00:10:26,945 --> 00:10:28,679
(Whimpers)
250
00:10:28,714 --> 00:10:30,547
(Sobbing)
251
00:10:30,548 --> 00:10:33,215
(Elliot blows his nose)
252
00:10:35,621 --> 00:10:36,821
Hi.
253
00:10:36,822 --> 00:10:39,656
I have a little situation
that's causing me a little guilt.
254
00:10:39,692 --> 00:10:41,286
You have a situation?
255
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,227
Did you hear a thump on the
way home and keep driving?
256
00:10:47,299 --> 00:10:48,499
Okay.
257
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,495
Uh, well I have to return this
but I don't have a receipt.
258
00:10:51,496 --> 00:10:53,593
Oh, no, no, no. That's
okay, I'll just scan it.
259
00:10:56,158 --> 00:10:59,465
Uh, that's $919 plus tax.
260
00:10:59,466 --> 00:11:01,153
Um, are hundreds okay?
261
00:11:01,302 --> 00:11:03,227
Oh, no, I think there's um...
262
00:11:03,228 --> 00:11:06,906
been another...
Christmas miracle.
263
00:11:11,590 --> 00:11:12,943
Elliot, what are you doing?
264
00:11:12,999 --> 00:11:16,655
Trying to get my mind off Alan's
cruise by watching Titanic.
265
00:11:19,463 --> 00:11:22,348
Well, I've had a little disaster of my own.
266
00:11:24,169 --> 00:11:25,931
Oh, my God. What happened?
267
00:11:25,932 --> 00:11:28,329
I was loading all my gear onto
the roof of Crazy Pete's Jeep
268
00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:30,592
and when I jumped off, I
tore a ligament in my ankle,
269
00:11:30,593 --> 00:11:35,028
so I guess I'll be joining you on the old
couch because there's no ski trip for Josh.
270
00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:36,695
Yay!
271
00:11:38,535 --> 00:11:40,126
That came out wrong.
272
00:11:40,419 --> 00:11:41,768
What I meant is...
273
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:44,030
Yay!
274
00:11:46,188 --> 00:11:49,393
This is not gonna be easy, but I want
you to know that I'm here for you, okay?
275
00:11:49,394 --> 00:11:50,887
- There she is, right there.
- (Gasps)
276
00:11:50,888 --> 00:11:52,088
JoJo?
277
00:11:52,089 --> 00:11:54,697
(Gasps) What the hell?
278
00:11:54,698 --> 00:11:58,387
Did you bring her down here to do her
happy dance and rub it all in my face?
279
00:11:58,388 --> 00:12:00,071
JoJo, you need help.
280
00:12:00,072 --> 00:12:02,072
I don't need any of her help.
281
00:12:02,073 --> 00:12:03,484
I actually got a job.
282
00:12:03,485 --> 00:12:06,840
A rich lawyer's on his way to
hire me as his sexy paralegal.
283
00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:10,212
Oh, please, girl. That
story as bad as your weave.
284
00:12:10,513 --> 00:12:12,601
'Course I got a bad weave, I'm homeless.
285
00:12:12,964 --> 00:12:14,334
What's your excuse?
286
00:12:14,335 --> 00:12:17,115
(Gasps) How dare you. This is
from the Raquel Welch collection.
287
00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:18,422
(Mocking) Oh-ho!
288
00:12:18,423 --> 00:12:20,041
Well this is from the Detroit collection.
289
00:12:20,042 --> 00:12:21,958
Oh, please. You look like
cats been sucking on it.
290
00:12:21,959 --> 00:12:24,701
- (Both arguing)
- Ladies, what's going on here?
291
00:12:25,083 --> 00:12:27,555
My sister being loud and rude...
292
00:12:28,253 --> 00:12:30,117
Which must run in the family,
293
00:12:30,118 --> 00:12:31,528
because so am I.
294
00:12:31,724 --> 00:12:33,700
JoJo, I do want to help you.
295
00:12:33,774 --> 00:12:35,546
But how did this happen?
296
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,430
Well, you know how it goes.
297
00:12:37,431 --> 00:12:40,724
A bad divorce, a Ponzi scheme,
little bit of insurance fraud,
298
00:12:40,725 --> 00:12:42,168
and suddenly you're between homes.
299
00:12:42,169 --> 00:12:45,560
And by that, I mean I was actually
sleeping in the alley between two homes.
300
00:12:47,753 --> 00:12:49,586
Oh my God. That is so sad.
301
00:12:49,621 --> 00:12:52,322
Course it's sad, we in the homeless
shelter, not the comedy store.
302
00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:53,709
Uh, you know what?
303
00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:56,494
We're getting out of here. Pack your
things and you're coming home with me.
304
00:12:56,495 --> 00:12:59,825
Actually, it'd be better
if Jolanda stayed with us.
305
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:02,980
She is so close to getting in
the "Get On Your Feet" program.
306
00:13:02,981 --> 00:13:04,424
All she needs is a sponsor.
307
00:13:04,425 --> 00:13:07,379
Hm, well, she's got one.
What do I have to do?
308
00:13:07,723 --> 00:13:10,023
A sponsor covers the expenses for the year,
309
00:13:10,075 --> 00:13:13,083
which includes food,
board, and job education,
310
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,635
but it is $10,000.
311
00:13:15,636 --> 00:13:17,547
$10,000! Uh...
312
00:13:17,549 --> 00:13:19,779
I mean, that's no problem.
313
00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:22,173
Oh, no, no, no. Wait,
I can't let you do that.
314
00:13:22,174 --> 00:13:24,426
Oh, no. You're my sister
and I'm gonna do it.
315
00:13:24,858 --> 00:13:26,947
I'll be back in an hour with the money.
316
00:13:26,948 --> 00:13:29,582
Ooh, thank you, YoYo.
317
00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:31,227
I'll see you later.
318
00:13:31,595 --> 00:13:32,795
Come here.
319
00:13:32,888 --> 00:13:34,451
Okay, Gabi,
320
00:13:34,594 --> 00:13:37,000
I'm sorry for blaming
you for ruining Christmas.
321
00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:40,492
You actually made it one of
the best Christmases ever.
322
00:13:40,493 --> 00:13:41,945
You're welcome, Yolanda. I'm so glad it
323
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,210
- worked out.
- (Squeals)
324
00:13:43,211 --> 00:13:44,825
Okay, I'm gonna go pack
up my kitchen stuff.
325
00:13:44,826 --> 00:13:47,271
- Okay, I'll see you later. Thank you.
- Bye
326
00:13:50,849 --> 00:13:52,749
They fell for that hook, line, and sinker.
327
00:13:52,784 --> 00:13:55,485
Girl, I told you conning your
sister would be a piece of cake.
328
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,832
Now we going to Hawaii.
329
00:13:56,833 --> 00:13:59,226
Ooh! This is the best Christmas ever!
330
00:13:59,227 --> 00:14:00,427
(Laughing)
331
00:14:03,626 --> 00:14:06,583
Elliot, I know you're upset
about being away from Alan,
332
00:14:06,714 --> 00:14:09,615
But I got to admit I'm actually
glad you're here with me.
333
00:14:10,047 --> 00:14:11,550
Being alone on Christmas would suck.
334
00:14:11,573 --> 00:14:13,401
I'm sorry about your leg,
335
00:14:14,004 --> 00:14:16,690
but I'm happy you're here with me, too.
336
00:14:17,101 --> 00:14:20,249
Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh!
I have to talk to you.
337
00:14:20,557 --> 00:14:22,962
And now the moment is ruined.
338
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:27,294
Why don't I go pick out our next movie?
339
00:14:27,295 --> 00:14:29,686
- I'm thinking something with Hugh Jackman.
- Oh, uh, Wolverine!
340
00:14:29,687 --> 00:14:31,532
Or... Les Mis.
341
00:14:33,008 --> 00:14:35,052
Um, quick question.
342
00:14:35,351 --> 00:14:37,624
Priests can't make out
with people, can they?
343
00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:39,530
What have you done?
344
00:14:39,531 --> 00:14:41,331
No, not me. JoJo.
345
00:14:41,411 --> 00:14:44,324
She's scamming Yolanda out of money,
and she's hooking up with a priest.
346
00:14:44,325 --> 00:14:45,069
(Gasps)
347
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:46,475
I bet he's not even a priest.
348
00:14:46,937 --> 00:14:49,331
- Oh, my God. We've got to get down there.
- Hey hey, what's with the cane?
349
00:14:49,332 --> 00:14:51,274
- It's a long story.
- Oh, my God. What happened?
350
00:14:51,426 --> 00:14:52,778
I hurt my ankle.
351
00:14:53,094 --> 00:14:55,094
That's not a long story
at all. Come on, hurry!
352
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:58,549
Hi, Matilda. (Giggles)
353
00:14:58,550 --> 00:15:00,404
I'm back. I don't know if you remember me.
354
00:15:00,454 --> 00:15:02,166
You've been here twice in the last week.
355
00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:03,728
Hm, I'm barren...
356
00:15:03,805 --> 00:15:05,005
Not senile.
357
00:15:05,006 --> 00:15:05,950
(Alarm blares)
358
00:15:05,951 --> 00:15:07,569
Oh, my God! I swear I can explain!
359
00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:08,804
No, calm down!
360
00:15:08,978 --> 00:15:10,249
It's a sale.
361
00:15:10,456 --> 00:15:12,800
In the next ten minutes,
everything is half off.
362
00:15:12,801 --> 00:15:14,338
Oh, well, look.
363
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,888
All I want to do I just retur... hurn...
364
00:15:17,147 --> 00:15:22,204
even this sparkly cocktail
ring that's $1,800?
365
00:15:22,205 --> 00:15:23,422
Everything.
366
00:15:23,424 --> 00:15:25,057
(Whimpers)
367
00:15:30,465 --> 00:15:31,665
JoJo.
368
00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,699
Oh! Hey, guys.
369
00:15:33,735 --> 00:15:35,006
What are you doing here?
370
00:15:35,007 --> 00:15:36,754
Stopping you from swindling your sister.
371
00:15:36,804 --> 00:15:39,605
Yeah. I saw you making
out with Father Gary.
372
00:15:40,751 --> 00:15:43,194
Look, I don't know why you did
what you did, and I don't care.
373
00:15:43,195 --> 00:15:44,549
Well, I care, okay?
374
00:15:44,550 --> 00:15:46,099
And I have one thing to say...
375
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:48,862
I finally understand why Yolanda
didn't talk to you for five years.
376
00:15:48,863 --> 00:15:51,155
- You are not a nice lady!
- Okay.
377
00:15:51,581 --> 00:15:52,781
Okay.
378
00:15:53,546 --> 00:15:55,786
Look, there is no way I'm
gonna let Yolanda get hurt.
379
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,371
So when she shows up to give you
the money, you're not gonna take it.
380
00:15:58,372 --> 00:16:00,122
(Cries)
381
00:16:00,519 --> 00:16:02,541
Don't try those fake tears on me.
382
00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:03,742
It's too late.
383
00:16:03,743 --> 00:16:05,722
Yolanda already brought me the money.
384
00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:08,002
- Well, then you'll have to give it back.
- I can't.
385
00:16:08,003 --> 00:16:09,956
Father Gary ran off with it.
386
00:16:10,129 --> 00:16:13,223
By the way, his name's not
Father Gary, he's just Gary.
387
00:16:13,224 --> 00:16:16,725
Yeah, well you and just Gary
have a lot of explaining to do.
388
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:17,926
Okay.
389
00:16:19,331 --> 00:16:20,630
Look, here's the deal.
390
00:16:21,264 --> 00:16:22,554
I love Yolanda,
391
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,279
and I don't want to see her get hurt.
392
00:16:24,366 --> 00:16:26,666
So tomorrow, you're
coming to Christmas brunch.
393
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:28,464
Mmm, will there be Bellinis?
394
00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:29,665
Stop.
395
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,988
I'm gonna give you the
money to give back to her,
396
00:16:31,989 --> 00:16:33,348
Mmm, good plan. Give it.
397
00:16:33,349 --> 00:16:34,587
Tomorrow.
398
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,175
When you arrive.
399
00:16:36,499 --> 00:16:39,274
And you're gonna tell Yolanda you tried to
swindle her, but you had a change of heart.
400
00:16:39,275 --> 00:16:40,702
So here's her money back.
401
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,153
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's right.
402
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,884
You're gonna come clean.
403
00:16:44,953 --> 00:16:46,753
You're gonna warm our hearts.
404
00:16:46,754 --> 00:16:50,457
You're gonna give Yolanda the magical
frickin' Christmas she deserves!
405
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:51,658
And then...
406
00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:53,182
there will be Bellinis.
407
00:16:56,419 --> 00:16:58,431
Hey, merry Christmas Day everybody.
408
00:16:58,433 --> 00:16:59,499
(All cheers)
409
00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:03,136
Ugh! This Christmas is
lasting longer than Hanukkah.
410
00:17:04,272 --> 00:17:05,809
- (Doorbell rings)
- (Gasps)
411
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:07,565
Who could that be?
412
00:17:07,566 --> 00:17:11,133
Everybody we're expecting is already here.
413
00:17:12,997 --> 00:17:14,905
(Gasps) JoJo.
414
00:17:14,906 --> 00:17:17,111
- Hey!
- Oh, hi!
415
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,970
Is that my sister coming
to see me on Christmas Day?
416
00:17:21,022 --> 00:17:22,823
Or have I had too many Bellinis?
417
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:23,911
(Chuckles)
418
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,812
Uh, you might want to ready another one.
419
00:17:26,290 --> 00:17:28,006
Um... YoYo,
420
00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:30,056
I've got a Christmas confession to make.
421
00:17:30,355 --> 00:17:31,697
I lied to you.
422
00:17:31,698 --> 00:17:34,636
I'm not homeless, and I stole your money.
423
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,165
But I had a change of heart, and
424
00:17:36,166 --> 00:17:38,383
I just... I want... I want
to give it back to you.
425
00:17:38,473 --> 00:17:40,099
And now, where are those apple pancakes
426
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,408
Uh-uh, slow your roll, girl.
427
00:17:41,409 --> 00:17:43,320
You're not touching those
pancakes until you explain
428
00:17:43,321 --> 00:17:45,019
to me what the hell you just said.
429
00:17:45,046 --> 00:17:48,392
Well, YoYo, I'm not homeless,
but I'm not rich anymore.
430
00:17:48,393 --> 00:17:50,325
I didn't get a penny out of that divorce,
431
00:17:50,326 --> 00:17:53,367
and all that stuff I told you
about, it really did happen to me.
432
00:17:53,368 --> 00:17:56,302
So conning people is the
way I've been getting by.
433
00:17:56,539 --> 00:17:58,639
So how'd you come up with this one, JoJo?
434
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:02,313
My plan was to pretend I was rich
and rub it all up in your face.
435
00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:04,047
But when you started to talk
about how well you were doing,
436
00:18:04,048 --> 00:18:05,417
then I saw dollar signs.
437
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,509
So when blondie here was
talking about going to St. Joe's,
438
00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:08,889
my plan all came together,
439
00:18:08,890 --> 00:18:10,314
and I knew she couldn't
keep her mouth shut.
440
00:18:10,315 --> 00:18:11,612
No, you got that right.
441
00:18:11,613 --> 00:18:15,496
- Honey runs her mouth all the time.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
442
00:18:15,497 --> 00:18:19,212
The point is that she realized she did
something horrible and she came clean.
443
00:18:19,247 --> 00:18:20,608
I guess you're right.
444
00:18:20,914 --> 00:18:22,114
I forgive you, JoJo.
445
00:18:22,115 --> 00:18:23,840
(Chuckling) Thank you.
446
00:18:24,085 --> 00:18:26,494
- Uh... one more thing.
- Oh.
447
00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:28,971
Josh, Gary didn't run
off with all the money,
448
00:18:28,972 --> 00:18:31,219
I was trying to double-dip
and take your money too.
449
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:33,209
Um, uh... Merry Christmas?
450
00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:35,628
I don't believe you!
451
00:18:36,012 --> 00:18:37,863
- Give me that.
- Josh!
452
00:18:37,864 --> 00:18:40,666
You walked without your cane,
it's a Christmas miracle!
453
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,405
Or...
454
00:18:44,973 --> 00:18:47,203
I knew how sad you were not
spending Christmas with Alan,
455
00:18:47,204 --> 00:18:50,121
so I faked an injury and stayed
here so you wouldn't be alone.
456
00:18:50,311 --> 00:18:52,955
You faked an injury to stay with me?
457
00:18:53,801 --> 00:18:55,462
Oh my God, you love me.
458
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,387
(Sighs)
459
00:18:57,388 --> 00:18:59,798
- (Door opens)
- And I l... Alan!
460
00:19:00,844 --> 00:19:02,955
- Alan!
- (Girls) Hey!
461
00:19:02,991 --> 00:19:05,024
Oh! Mwah!
462
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:06,694
What are you doing here?
463
00:19:06,695 --> 00:19:08,612
I couldn't miss our
first Christmas together.
464
00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:09,979
I love you.
465
00:19:10,014 --> 00:19:11,030
(Giggles)
466
00:19:11,065 --> 00:19:12,865
You came all the way back for me?
467
00:19:12,866 --> 00:19:14,066
(Gasps)
468
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:17,655
- You got seasick, didn't you?
- Oi, that boat with all the rocking.
469
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:18,856
(Chuckles)
470
00:19:19,203 --> 00:19:21,775
You guys, I think I kind
of owe you an apology.
471
00:19:21,919 --> 00:19:25,105
I feel like I shoved Christmas
down everybody's throats this year.
472
00:19:25,106 --> 00:19:27,438
I think it's just because this is
my first Christmas away from home...
473
00:19:27,439 --> 00:19:29,900
- and you miss your family...
- Yeah.
474
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:31,517
...the way I miss mine.
475
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:33,653
But you know what I realized, Gabi?
476
00:19:33,688 --> 00:19:36,045
We're a family right here.
477
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:38,411
- Merry Christmas.
- Here, here. Merry Christmas.
478
00:19:38,412 --> 00:19:39,862
(All) Merry Christmas.
479
00:19:39,863 --> 00:19:41,952
- Presents.
- (Yolanda and Jolanda) Ooh!
480
00:19:42,793 --> 00:19:46,174
Well, Gabi, your Christmas plan worked.
481
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:47,518
I'm so proud of you.
482
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,302
- Thank you.
- (Both giggle)
483
00:19:52,507 --> 00:19:53,756
Where'd you get that ring?
484
00:19:54,876 --> 00:19:57,627
Another Christmas miracle.
485
00:20:00,016 --> 00:20:01,247
Hi...
486
00:20:02,562 --> 00:20:05,246
I need to return this but
I don't have the receipt.
487
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:09,761
Well, I need a family, but I made
a whole lot of poor life choices.
488
00:20:11,304 --> 00:20:13,321
I'll, uh, just scan this one.
489
00:20:13,322 --> 00:20:14,522
(Sofia groans)
490
00:20:14,624 --> 00:20:18,382
All right, retail is $1,800 plus tax.
491
00:20:19,002 --> 00:20:21,546
- Oh, we can't take the money.
- Yeah.
492
00:20:21,547 --> 00:20:23,159
Oh. So store credit then?
493
00:20:24,174 --> 00:20:25,618
- That'll be fine.
- Okay.
494
00:20:30,775 --> 00:20:32,737
(Both) Oh my God, oh my
God, oh my God, oh my God,
495
00:20:32,738 --> 00:20:34,656
oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
496
00:20:39,562 --> 00:20:41,691
- _
- (Whimpers)
497
00:20:42,299 --> 00:20:44,855
See, now it's a Merry Christmas.
498
00:20:44,856 --> 00:20:46,056
You're right.
499
00:20:46,057 --> 00:20:48,664
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
500
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:53,264
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