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1
00:00:01,183 --> 00:00:02,850
In today's society
2
00:00:02,902 --> 00:00:06,070
of socioeconomic disparity
and global terrorism,
3
00:00:06,155 --> 00:00:09,406
being a ripped dude
has never been more important.
4
00:00:09,492 --> 00:00:14,098
That's why, with DeMamp Camps'
muscle perplexation technique,
5
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:17,226
I guarantee I'll get you ripped.
6
00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:19,061
DeMamp Camp!
Go!
7
00:00:19,702 --> 00:00:21,035
Go!
8
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,286
Go.
9
00:00:22,371 --> 00:00:23,287
Sorry.
10
00:00:23,372 --> 00:00:25,172
[Dumbbell clanking]
11
00:00:25,207 --> 00:00:26,874
If you need a modifier
12
00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:28,876
'cause your body's shaped
like a bowl of porridge,
13
00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:30,411
check out Ders,
14
00:00:30,479 --> 00:00:32,179
and if you're weak
like your great grandma,
15
00:00:32,248 --> 00:00:33,451
peep Blake.
16
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,744
DeMamp Camp!
Come on.
17
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,872
- Dig in--
- Whoa.
18
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,803
What are you talking about?
I have an awesome body.
19
00:00:39,889 --> 00:00:41,105
In the right light,
20
00:00:41,190 --> 00:00:42,723
I have the little things
that Usher has.
21
00:00:42,808 --> 00:00:44,058
No, your body is awesome, Blake,
22
00:00:44,143 --> 00:00:45,392
but you don't work for it, okay?
23
00:00:45,444 --> 00:00:47,089
So your muscles look good,
24
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,924
but you actually can't use them
25
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,731
to tow a car with your teeth.
26
00:00:50,816 --> 00:00:53,233
Well, my body is the normal
shape of an aging mesomorph,
27
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:54,368
so you got to change these lines.
28
00:00:54,403 --> 00:00:55,786
You have tits,
29
00:00:55,871 --> 00:00:57,099
and I can't change these lines,
30
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:58,934
and I'm not gonna cut anything out,
31
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:02,938
because DeMamp Camp Fitness:
Volume Two has no cuts.
32
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,578
If you don't change
the hurtful things
33
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:05,796
that you just said about us,
34
00:01:05,881 --> 00:01:08,215
I'm off the project.
35
00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:10,668
No one's gonna buy DVDs from a nobody
36
00:01:10,753 --> 00:01:12,670
that's out of shape and has a face
37
00:01:12,755 --> 00:01:14,054
that looks like someone took a bunch
38
00:01:14,090 --> 00:01:15,923
of skin-colored play-doh
and just went--
39
00:01:15,975 --> 00:01:17,828
[imitates squishing]
40
00:01:18,227 --> 00:01:20,060
- We're off the project.
- We're off the project.
41
00:01:20,096 --> 00:01:21,499
You said that.
Yeah, you already said that.
42
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,896
It doesn't matter.
43
00:01:22,932 --> 00:01:24,315
I actually have an awesome face,
so that--
44
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,086
it doesn't even hurt my feelings.
45
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,045
Deep and find yourself.
46
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:29,596
Don't worry.
47
00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:31,548
We'll make this work,
you sweet prince.
48
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,928
Bitch, are you talking to yourself?
49
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,854
Yeah, I am, okay?
50
00:01:36,939 --> 00:01:38,639
Could you give us the room?
51
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:52,613
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
52
00:01:56,475 --> 00:01:59,143
I don't care.
53
00:01:59,228 --> 00:02:00,444
Time to give Blake a doughnut.
54
00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:01,362
Nah.
No, thank you.
55
00:02:01,397 --> 00:02:03,447
I do not eat that junk anymore.
56
00:02:03,532 --> 00:02:04,865
- What do you mean?
- Check it out.
57
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:09,296
Look what I made.
It's a weed protein bar.
58
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,573
- I call it a dro-tein bar.
- Dude, looks pretty gross.
59
00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:13,842
Yeah, it looks really gross.
60
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,076
Is it because you're embarrassed
61
00:02:16,128 --> 00:02:17,995
about how weak you were
when you saw yourself
62
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,056
in the video?
63
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:21,308
- Hmm?
- Yeah.
64
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,883
What you said really hurt
my feelings,
65
00:02:22,918 --> 00:02:24,228
but I don't like to exercise,
66
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:25,537
so I'm gonna just eat
until I'm strong.
67
00:02:25,662 --> 00:02:26,897
- Good for you.
- Yeah.
68
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:28,566
That's actually not a bad--
69
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:29,984
[clears throat]
70
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,776
Jillian, get this the "f"
out of the way, please.
71
00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,077
Yup.
72
00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:34,612
When have I ever talked behind...
73
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:35,823
- Just thought it'd be cool.
- A pedestal.
74
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,949
- I got it.
- Yeah.
75
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,618
- I don't want--
- No, I got it.
76
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:44,039
Okay, the TelAmericorp blood drive.
77
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,424
Why should you donate?
Corporate set up a competition.
78
00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:48,843
The branch that donates
the most pints of blood
79
00:02:48,928 --> 00:02:50,011
wins a visit from--
80
00:02:50,096 --> 00:02:51,462
Jillian, get the cutout.
81
00:02:51,514 --> 00:02:52,589
- Oh, now?
- Now.
82
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:54,799
You're in the way, nurses.
83
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:59,353
Wins a visit from action hero
Dolph Lundgren.
84
00:02:59,439 --> 00:03:00,972
[Gasping]
85
00:03:01,024 --> 00:03:03,724
Ivan Drago.
Oh, my God.
86
00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:06,060
Question.
Dude, stop it.
87
00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:08,980
Why does Dolph Lundgren
want to do some dumb health
88
00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:10,314
blood thing with us?
89
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,899
Oh, I don't know.
90
00:03:11,985 --> 00:03:13,234
Maybe 'cause he's a decent person
91
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,619
who wants to contribute to society.
92
00:03:14,654 --> 00:03:15,904
That's so Dolph of him.
93
00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:17,738
Anyway, we're the last branch
to donate.
94
00:03:17,824 --> 00:03:19,240
That pig Steve in Tarzana
95
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,459
thinks his 29-pint lead will hold,
96
00:03:21,494 --> 00:03:23,878
but I'd love to man-splain
to him that he lost.
97
00:03:23,963 --> 00:03:26,163
You guys, I've got a question
that I've wanted to ask Dolph
98
00:03:26,216 --> 00:03:28,049
since I was, like, a child,
99
00:03:28,134 --> 00:03:29,717
and the answer
could change everything.
100
00:03:29,802 --> 00:03:31,669
Shut up,
'cause I'm freaking realizing
101
00:03:31,721 --> 00:03:33,004
a great idea.
102
00:03:33,089 --> 00:03:35,089
He could be the costar
to my main star
103
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:37,174
for DeMamp Camp: Volume Two, right?
104
00:03:37,227 --> 00:03:38,802
You're making another DeMamp Camp?
105
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,761
That copy of volume one you gave me
106
00:03:40,847 --> 00:03:43,014
changed my life.
107
00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:45,900
Bikini season can't come soon enough.
108
00:03:45,985 --> 00:03:48,102
Okay, first off, eww,
and second of all,
109
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:50,189
we can hear you, so shut up.
110
00:03:50,406 --> 00:03:52,990
All right, now, there are
32 employees in this office,
111
00:03:53,026 --> 00:03:54,692
and we need 30 pints to win,
112
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:56,570
so we got this thing in the bag.
113
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,246
- Yeah, whoo!
- Yeah.
114
00:03:58,331 --> 00:04:00,448
Unless some of you
are scared of needles.
115
00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:01,700
[Laughter]
116
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:02,833
What?
Is that real?
117
00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:03,744
I mean...
118
00:04:04,003 --> 00:04:06,337
[Laughter]
119
00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:08,205
Excuse me,
120
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:11,626
but scared-ness of needles
is no laughing matter.
121
00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:13,344
I personally am not afraid
of needles,
122
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:17,216
but I did see someone
murdered with a needle
123
00:04:17,433 --> 00:04:18,759
in the movie Gremlins.
124
00:04:19,052 --> 00:04:21,637
Needle-phobes have rights too, so...
125
00:04:21,938 --> 00:04:23,888
Thank you.
That's my time.
126
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,057
Great, and nobody cares, all right?
127
00:04:26,109 --> 00:04:27,358
All right, so let's break.
128
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,560
- Let's give that blood.
- Whoo!
129
00:04:29,646 --> 00:04:30,861
- Let's tear it up.
- Take it all.
130
00:04:30,897 --> 00:04:33,397
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
131
00:04:33,483 --> 00:04:34,899
- What's up?
- Hey.
132
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,400
I just want to say thank you.
133
00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:38,112
It's good to have one of us
speaking up.
134
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,570
Not afraid of needles.
135
00:04:39,656 --> 00:04:40,905
Not one of whatever you guys are.
136
00:04:40,957 --> 00:04:44,742
It is okay to fear the needle,
137
00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:47,413
but please do not fear your--
138
00:04:47,664 --> 00:04:49,246
I'm not one of you.
139
00:04:49,299 --> 00:04:50,881
I support you
and what you're doing, but--
140
00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:53,000
Stop touching me.
Don't ever do that.
141
00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:55,419
- And just listen.
- Hey.
142
00:04:55,471 --> 00:04:57,888
You guys aren't gonna puss out
on me, are you?
143
00:04:57,924 --> 00:04:59,507
Okay, I'm only saying that
144
00:04:59,592 --> 00:05:00,891
'cause you're hiding in this room,
145
00:05:00,927 --> 00:05:02,760
and I am very intuitive,
like a mother.
146
00:05:02,812 --> 00:05:04,095
I'm gonna go give blood right now.
147
00:05:04,147 --> 00:05:06,063
Alice Murphy...
148
00:05:06,099 --> 00:05:07,315
[Laughs]
149
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,568
I'm gonna go give blood.
Okay.
150
00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:12,479
Hey, Karl, I need your help.
151
00:05:12,905 --> 00:05:15,189
Dolph Lundgren, man,
I've seen all of his movies.
152
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:18,025
He's, like, so cool.
153
00:05:18,111 --> 00:05:23,114
Do you know
if, like, Dolph is gonna--
154
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,449
Carmen.
It's me, Mr. Henderson.
155
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:27,744
I used to bring you empty cans
outside the liquor store.
156
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,497
Hey, how long
have you been un-homeless for?
157
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:32,791
Oh, my God, you must be
really light-headed.
158
00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,675
You used to have
the best singing voice.
159
00:05:34,761 --> 00:05:38,295
- So beautiful.
- That's not me.
160
00:05:38,348 --> 00:05:40,631
Eat your cookies, okay?
161
00:05:40,717 --> 00:05:41,799
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
162
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:43,434
Hold your horsies.
163
00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:45,353
How many people
we got signed up so far?
164
00:05:45,438 --> 00:05:49,306
Uh, 25, so you'll win second place.
165
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:52,436
Okay, well, we don't get
second place around here,
166
00:05:52,695 --> 00:05:55,146
so how about we go ahead
167
00:05:55,198 --> 00:05:58,525
and strap on a few more
baggy sacks for daddy?
168
00:05:58,868 --> 00:06:00,785
I can handle,
like, five more probably.
169
00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:04,538
Mm-hmm.
One pint per each.
170
00:06:06,302 --> 00:06:07,703
Okay, guess what.
171
00:06:07,828 --> 00:06:10,662
Your pass to DeMamp Camp--
172
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:14,372
and that's me ripping it up.
173
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,242
I'm taking cookies.
I'm taking three.
174
00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:19,463
- I'm taking three.
- Jazzy.
175
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,173
I'm gonna take this batch
up to the blood bank.
176
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,632
- Can you handle this in here?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
177
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,372
Is this his blood, right there?
178
00:06:26,497 --> 00:06:29,264
Okay, you want anything
from the pizza hut in target?
179
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:33,101
You know me, girl.
You always know me.
180
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:35,851
- Blue icee.
- Oh.
181
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,398
- Yeah, I didn't--
- All right, all right.
182
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:41,944
- Excuse me.
- Yeah?
183
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,409
What are you doing with my blood?
184
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:44,527
Why isn't it with all the rest?
185
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:45,611
[Laughs]
186
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:46,946
Where's this blood going?
187
00:06:46,998 --> 00:06:48,200
Just eat your cookies and move along.
188
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,335
Got a bad feeling
189
00:06:53,421 --> 00:06:55,415
about this gosh-forsaken blood drive.
190
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,256
For instance,
why won't they even tell us
191
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,752
where the blood is going?
192
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:02,628
Oh, it's for patients at hospitals.
193
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,046
- Yes, yeah.
- Right?
194
00:07:04,131 --> 00:07:07,099
Yes, but why is Dolph involved, hmm?
195
00:07:07,134 --> 00:07:08,934
Does this Internet
have computer capabilities?
196
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,269
- Yes.
- Okay.
197
00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:11,470
I need you to pull up his IMDB page,
198
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,471
and I need that yesterday.
199
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,807
[Dramatic music]
200
00:07:14,859 --> 00:07:17,142
Well, it says here he's M.I.T. smart,
201
00:07:17,195 --> 00:07:19,106
chemical engineer, a karate master.
202
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,364
Why is he making action movies
with these idiots?
203
00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:25,821
- He's perfect.
- Yeah, I guess it makes sense.
204
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,319
He's got the brains to be, like,
205
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,950
a chemical-genetic engineering dude,
206
00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:33,492
but he didn't have the resources.
207
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,211
So he went and became famous,
208
00:07:35,296 --> 00:07:37,713
and now he has access
209
00:07:37,798 --> 00:07:40,082
to the blood.
210
00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:42,004
Blood.
211
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:45,838
He's got access to any of my--
holy cow.
212
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:48,724
Look at his balls in those dockers.
213
00:07:48,809 --> 00:07:51,310
Oh, my gosh.
214
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,596
I could click and zoom all day.
215
00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:54,563
[Phone rings]
216
00:07:54,649 --> 00:07:55,598
Damn it.
217
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,727
TelAmericorp.
218
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:08,655
{pub}Hey, Sir Edna, I got your blood.
219
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,171
Okay.
Who's blood is it?
220
00:08:11,223 --> 00:08:12,617
No, don't tell me.
221
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:14,425
I understand
sometimes people just need
222
00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:17,177
to slip through the cracks,
just disappear.
223
00:08:17,229 --> 00:08:19,499
What?
No, it's gonna be my blood.
224
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,500
- Come on.
- What?
225
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,336
Take this blade.
226
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,754
No.
No, no, no, wait.
227
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,102
I'm gonna take the tube,
228
00:08:25,187 --> 00:08:26,603
I'm gonna put it
right next to my wrist,
229
00:08:26,689 --> 00:08:28,022
and you're gonna cut me.
230
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,523
No, Karl, I--I'm hemophobic.
231
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,742
Oh, my God, Ders, it's 2015.
232
00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:33,889
Gay dudes exist.
Get over it.
233
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,766
- Cut me!
- Okay, all right.
234
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,197
Dolph Lundgren.
Dolph Lundgren.
235
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,365
- Dolph Lundgren.
- Hit me, baby.
236
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,853
Dolph Lundgren!
237
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,452
- Uh, try it again.
- Dolph Lundgren.
238
00:08:41,537 --> 00:08:42,786
Okay, just-- you know what?
239
00:08:42,872 --> 00:08:44,254
- Okay, go down the--
- Dolph Lundgren.
240
00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:45,484
- Dolph Lundgren.
- Go down one more time.
241
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:46,757
- I don't know.
- Let me see the blade.
242
00:08:46,842 --> 00:08:47,861
Yeah.
243
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:48,926
[Shouts]
244
00:08:49,011 --> 00:08:50,781
[Screams]
245
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,629
[Bleep]!
Dolph Lundgren!
246
00:08:52,715 --> 00:08:54,014
- Dolph Lundgren!
- Okay.
247
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:56,433
- Dolph Lundgren!
- Oh, oh!
248
00:08:56,519 --> 00:08:57,601
- What are you--
- We got it.
249
00:08:57,686 --> 00:08:59,186
Why'd you lick it, man?
250
00:08:59,221 --> 00:09:00,771
I thought it was like
a ballpoint pen, man,
251
00:09:00,856 --> 00:09:01,889
but it's working.
252
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,223
- It's working.
- Okay.
253
00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:04,475
[Quivers]
254
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:05,670
[Chuckles uneasily]
255
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:09,363
Stop.
256
00:09:09,432 --> 00:09:12,066
Waymond.
Give me your glasses.
257
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,720
I just came up with a great idea.
258
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:14,971
Hands up.
259
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,570
Give me your shirt
260
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:17,988
and a smear of your
wildly potent cologne.
261
00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:19,323
You stink.
What is that?
262
00:09:19,408 --> 00:09:21,075
Cool water?
It's an aphrodisiac.
263
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,459
I like that.
That's nice.
264
00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:24,578
They tell me that I can't give blood.
265
00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:27,818
Well, guess what, "nurses."
266
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,416
I'll trick the system.
267
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,418
I'll give blood using the identities
268
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,490
of my bitch-ass coworkers.
269
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,089
This is perfect.
270
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:36,993
Thank God I have all these muscles.
271
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:38,995
It's DeMamp Camp.
It's part--it doesn't matter.
272
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,761
Give me a little more of that.
273
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:42,582
Give me a little more of that.
I want to reek like you.
274
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,585
I cannot wait to tell Dolph
I did this.
275
00:09:48,687 --> 00:09:50,854
Hi, I've got to get back to work,
276
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:53,073
and I gave blood
with the other nurse.
277
00:09:53,109 --> 00:09:54,608
That's why you didn't see me do it.
278
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,179
And she said I could just
drop this off with you.
279
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,389
Okay, sure.
Do you want a sticker?
280
00:09:57,613 --> 00:09:59,349
I--uh, yeah.
Yes.
281
00:09:59,748 --> 00:10:01,949
- Yeah, you do.
- Great.
282
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:03,367
Very cool.
Oh, hi.
283
00:10:03,452 --> 00:10:04,451
- Hey.
- All right.
284
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:07,774
Good-bye.
285
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:11,153
Hi, are you ready to give some blood?
286
00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:15,679
Yes?
287
00:10:15,764 --> 00:10:17,431
[Hoarsely]
Oh, hello, nurses.
288
00:10:17,466 --> 00:10:21,802
I am Waymond Womano,
a short Asian-type man.
289
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:25,584
Ready to give blood
for the first time today.
290
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,192
Two Waymonds.
291
00:10:28,277 --> 00:10:29,977
[Phone rings]
292
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:33,147
- Hello?
- Blake, I hit the mother lode.
293
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,816
My desk, now.
294
00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:38,138
Hey, Alice.
There any purple stuff in there?
295
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:42,601
'Cause I'm just trying to get
my blood sugar back in sync.
296
00:10:42,825 --> 00:10:45,479
Oh, wow.
Congrats, Anders.
297
00:10:46,078 --> 00:10:47,661
- That's how we do.
- You know what?
298
00:10:47,746 --> 00:10:51,401
Everybody, let's give Anders
a standing ovation, huh?
299
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:52,903
[Scattered applause]
300
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,501
You know what?
301
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:55,836
I'm gonna have this fiber yogurt.
302
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,741
Why don't we all clap
for me too, huh?
303
00:10:58,340 --> 00:10:59,506
Come on.
304
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,258
[Scattered applause]
305
00:11:01,343 --> 00:11:03,788
Moron.
306
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:05,582
Hey, man, you gave blood?
307
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,348
How big was them needles?
One of them long suckers?
308
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,504
You know, normal--
the normal size they are.
309
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,486
You know what?
Maybe we should do this.
310
00:11:12,521 --> 00:11:14,021
I don't know.
What do y'all think?
311
00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:16,551
I shouldn't medically,
but I'm willing to try.
312
00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:18,345
Maybe don't.
I don't know.
313
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:22,496
Two Waymond Womanos.
314
00:11:22,531 --> 00:11:24,581
So I guess the fake one is the one
315
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:27,201
that looks the guy named Adam
who came in earlier.
316
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:28,585
[Hoarsely]
I know.
317
00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:30,871
- He looks exactly like that guy.
- No, you.
318
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:32,567
You could tell.
Dang it.
319
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:34,341
Since I know you're cheating,
320
00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:35,959
I'm gonna have to remove two
from the board.
321
00:11:36,045 --> 00:11:40,492
What?
I need Dolph for my video, okay?
322
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:44,768
I'm so freaking mad at you.
323
00:11:44,853 --> 00:11:47,938
- What's the mother lode?
- You're not gonna believe this.
324
00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,127
Check this out.
325
00:11:51,443 --> 00:11:52,943
When I'm with you
326
00:11:53,028 --> 00:11:54,005
Baby, baby
327
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,674
I'm so into you
328
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,949
This is your big find?
329
00:11:59,034 --> 00:12:00,867
No, I made it.
330
00:12:00,903 --> 00:12:02,369
[Laughs]
331
00:12:05,212 --> 00:12:06,957
Jillian, I can't have you back here
332
00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:09,293
baking your own muffin
to Dolph collages, all right?
333
00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:14,081
I need you to focus
on finding the source.
334
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:17,751
I got to follow that blood.
335
00:12:17,836 --> 00:12:19,886
- It's been a long day.
- It has.
336
00:12:19,922 --> 00:12:21,922
I mean, Raymond with a "W."
337
00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:24,474
I can't believe that white boy
thought we weren't gonna realize
338
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,371
that he had already been up
in there before.
339
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,563
Oh, wait, which Waymond
did this come from?
340
00:12:29,598 --> 00:12:31,168
Girl, just trash it.
341
00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:36,320
Why are they throwing blood away?
342
00:12:36,405 --> 00:12:38,739
The people who work here are crazy.
343
00:12:38,774 --> 00:12:40,490
Did you notice that cologne earlier?
344
00:12:40,576 --> 00:12:44,861
Oh, it's like he was trying
to be someone he's not.
345
00:12:44,947 --> 00:12:48,852
Clone?
They're cloning people.
346
00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:50,284
I think all colognes smell weird.
347
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,369
And they smell weird.
348
00:12:52,454 --> 00:12:55,005
[Breathing heavily]
349
00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:58,625
- Psst, bill.
- Ouch.
350
00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:00,711
I mean, what?
351
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,512
Hey, guess what, dude.
352
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:04,548
They won't even let me donate
any more pints,
353
00:13:04,633 --> 00:13:06,383
and I have to meet Dolph
354
00:13:06,468 --> 00:13:08,302
so he could co-headline
DeMamp Camp under me.
355
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:12,556
So I'm going to ask you
to take some blood from my arm.
356
00:13:12,641 --> 00:13:15,142
- Eww, gross.
- Bill.
357
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:16,276
Don't be a bitch like Waymond.
358
00:13:16,312 --> 00:13:18,695
You're a fricking baller, right?
359
00:13:18,781 --> 00:13:21,176
I know you, you freaking baller.
360
00:13:21,483 --> 00:13:25,513
You freaking shot caller.
361
00:13:25,904 --> 00:13:27,988
Come with me.
Be on my squad.
362
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:30,268
Be on my team.
Be part of DeMamp camp.
363
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,492
All right, I'll do it,
364
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:35,078
but this baller's calling this shot.
365
00:13:35,164 --> 00:13:39,402
Me costarring in DeMamp Camp:
Volume two.
366
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:42,202
Picture it: Me, you, and Dolph,
the big muscle brothers.
367
00:13:42,271 --> 00:13:46,923
Oh, my God, I hate that idea, okay?
368
00:13:47,009 --> 00:13:48,870
But you're part of the team now.
369
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,373
I freaking love you, Bill.
Let me kiss your head.
370
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,416
Eww, it's all slimy.
Come on.
371
00:14:01,776 --> 00:14:03,192
{pub}Excuse me.
372
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:04,810
These three would like
to give some blood.
373
00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:07,363
Oh, hey, getting it in
before the deadline.
374
00:14:07,448 --> 00:14:09,474
- So who's first?
- I'm ready to give.
375
00:14:09,984 --> 00:14:11,617
All right.
376
00:14:11,652 --> 00:14:13,119
- All right.
- Okay.
377
00:14:13,154 --> 00:14:14,395
Fill that out.
378
00:14:14,706 --> 00:14:16,255
I find the spirit is captured easiest
379
00:14:16,324 --> 00:14:18,608
between one's toes.
380
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,493
I spent many moons
chasing the dragon.
381
00:14:20,578 --> 00:14:22,211
- And by dragon...
- We know.
382
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,829
- I mean heroin.
- Yup, that's apparent.
383
00:14:23,915 --> 00:14:24,989
All right, you're next big guy.
384
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,500
Unhand me.
I already gave.
385
00:14:27,552 --> 00:14:30,052
- See?
- So you took his blood earlier.
386
00:14:30,138 --> 00:14:31,220
No, he handed me a bag of blood
387
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,455
that he said you drew.
388
00:14:32,757 --> 00:14:34,999
You don't remember?
Remember me?
389
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,626
What they talking about, Ders?
390
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,561
- I gave blood, Ghostman.
- Where you going?
391
00:14:38,646 --> 00:14:39,838
I'm not going anywhere.
392
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,381
Ghostman, get him.
393
00:14:41,766 --> 00:14:45,434
The drip is slowing way down.
That might be all your blood.
394
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,686
What?
No, we need five to win.
395
00:14:47,772 --> 00:14:50,390
Just squeeze my arm.
Wring me out, Bill.
396
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,358
"Wring me out, Bill, please."
397
00:14:52,443 --> 00:14:55,194
I might just be your costar,
but I'm not your slave.
398
00:14:58,366 --> 00:15:01,667
I am the [Bleep] star,
399
00:15:01,702 --> 00:15:04,370
and I need you to wring me out,
400
00:15:04,439 --> 00:15:07,157
'cause my vision is me
bleeding everything I've got
401
00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:08,874
into this baggy.
402
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,676
Then you got to sweeten my deal.
403
00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:14,847
I want 30% of merchandising
and a plus-two to the premiere.
404
00:15:14,882 --> 00:15:17,099
- Premiere's gonna be packed.
- I want to bring two dates.
405
00:15:17,185 --> 00:15:19,218
Mom and sis.
406
00:15:21,973 --> 00:15:23,423
Fine.
407
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,559
[Dramatic music]
408
00:15:26,611 --> 00:15:30,696
409
00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:31,890
Okay, all right.
410
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:33,732
Go in there
and destroy all the blood.
411
00:15:33,818 --> 00:15:34,817
- Okay, got it?
- I know.
412
00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:36,318
I know.
I know.
413
00:15:36,404 --> 00:15:37,987
No, I am as serious
as Sean Penn right now.
414
00:15:38,072 --> 00:15:39,789
You go in there,
and you destroy the blood.
415
00:15:39,874 --> 00:15:41,490
Otherwise, Dolph--
416
00:15:41,576 --> 00:15:43,576
He could make as many
universal soldiers as he wants,
417
00:15:43,661 --> 00:15:44,877
and I'm not talking movie sequels.
418
00:15:44,912 --> 00:15:46,412
I'm talking a clone army.
419
00:15:46,464 --> 00:15:48,080
He did it to Waymond,
and he did it to Carmen.
420
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:49,999
Whoa.
Okay, I'm on it.
421
00:15:50,084 --> 00:15:51,250
All right, get in there.
422
00:15:51,335 --> 00:15:53,169
Oh, how much of that bar did you eat?
423
00:15:53,254 --> 00:15:54,220
- I'm okay.
- You all right?
424
00:15:54,255 --> 00:15:55,872
Just a little-- see you.
425
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,840
All right, be safe.
426
00:15:57,925 --> 00:15:59,809
Get 'em.
Get 'em, girl.
427
00:15:59,894 --> 00:16:07,508
428
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:12,271
[Coughs forcefully]
429
00:16:12,356 --> 00:16:13,932
How you doing?
Dumping the blood?
430
00:16:15,943 --> 00:16:17,526
Nope!
Blake.
431
00:16:17,612 --> 00:16:19,945
What the heck?
432
00:16:20,031 --> 00:16:24,192
Cloning is the future,
and you can't stop it.
433
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:27,070
Dolph needs this blood
to breed universal soldiers,
434
00:16:27,288 --> 00:16:28,821
and I'm gonna help him.
435
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,740
You're pro-cloning.
Why?
436
00:16:30,958 --> 00:16:33,592
Mostly because I'm in love with him.
437
00:16:33,628 --> 00:16:35,928
But also have you seen
the movie Multiplicity?
438
00:16:35,963 --> 00:16:37,789
- It's really good.
- No, no, no, wait.
439
00:16:38,266 --> 00:16:39,874
If you start playing God,
440
00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:42,001
consequences will never be the same.
441
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:43,602
And of course I've seen it!
442
00:16:43,638 --> 00:16:45,129
It's a really, really great movie,
443
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:47,773
but this--
this ain't the movies, babe.
444
00:16:47,808 --> 00:16:48,774
No.
445
00:16:48,809 --> 00:16:50,109
[Shouting]
446
00:16:50,144 --> 00:16:51,143
Don't!
Stop!
447
00:16:51,195 --> 00:16:53,145
My Dolph!
My sweet Dolph!
448
00:16:53,197 --> 00:16:55,314
What the bloody hell?
449
00:16:55,399 --> 00:16:58,984
Adam, Dolph is using
the blood drive to clone people.
450
00:16:59,036 --> 00:17:02,821
He's making a clone army.
He'll make a million Adams.
451
00:17:02,907 --> 00:17:04,623
That sounds awesome.
452
00:17:04,659 --> 00:17:06,375
A million Adams and a million Dolphs.
453
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,460
And a million Bills.
454
00:17:08,496 --> 00:17:11,531
Okay, not a million Bills,
'cause you're off the project.
455
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:14,967
Blake, don't do this to me,
man, okay?
456
00:17:15,002 --> 00:17:16,886
I need this.
457
00:17:16,971 --> 00:17:18,037
Hey!
458
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,505
Blake!
459
00:17:19,557 --> 00:17:22,000
[All shouting indistinctly]
460
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:24,335
I don't even have any blood
in my body.
461
00:17:24,579 --> 00:17:25,511
- What's wrong with him?
- Adam?
462
00:17:25,596 --> 00:17:26,512
What's wrong with him?
463
00:17:26,597 --> 00:17:28,147
[Groans]
464
00:17:28,182 --> 00:17:29,598
It's probably all the blood
that I gave.
465
00:17:29,684 --> 00:17:31,517
[Bleep].
466
00:17:31,569 --> 00:17:33,185
This is for your own good, man.
467
00:17:33,237 --> 00:17:34,436
Don't.
468
00:17:34,522 --> 00:17:35,521
If you pop one more of those,
469
00:17:35,573 --> 00:17:36,739
I swear to God...
470
00:17:36,824 --> 00:17:39,191
Blake.
Both: Don't, Blake!
471
00:17:39,243 --> 00:17:40,659
[Shouts]
472
00:17:49,537 --> 00:17:51,370
{pub}Oh, my God, did you--
did you kill this man?
473
00:17:51,406 --> 00:17:52,655
No, no, no, no.
474
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:54,449
He just gave five pints of blood
475
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,825
because he fell for your little scam,
476
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:57,293
but I didn't.
477
00:17:57,378 --> 00:17:58,578
I destroyed all y'all's blood,
478
00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:00,129
because I know that Dolph Lundgren
479
00:18:00,215 --> 00:18:01,247
was cloning people.
480
00:18:01,299 --> 00:18:02,707
- Ah.
- What?
481
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,584
I figured it out
like a little detective.
482
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,886
Okay, um...
Okay.
483
00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:09,055
Get me a pint of o-positive, stat.
484
00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:10,556
- This man needs blood.
- Okay.
485
00:18:10,592 --> 00:18:12,675
All the blood is gone.
What are we gonna do?
486
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,310
Um, uh...
487
00:18:14,395 --> 00:18:16,637
We're gonna need to try
a direct transfusion.
488
00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:18,481
See, I knew your ass was trouble.
489
00:18:18,566 --> 00:18:20,316
The reason why we put your blood
to the side is 'cause
490
00:18:20,401 --> 00:18:22,268
there's no telling what
the hell you got up in there,
491
00:18:22,353 --> 00:18:23,436
all high and [Bleep].
492
00:18:23,488 --> 00:18:25,646
I'm not high.
493
00:18:25,812 --> 00:18:27,231
You guys, I can't.
I'm serious.
494
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:28,524
This is how they killed
that guy in Gremlins.
495
00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:30,326
Okay, okay.
Are any of you ab or o?
496
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:31,903
Maybe.
497
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,779
Your friend just lost,
like, a lot of blood.
498
00:18:33,831 --> 00:18:35,331
If you don't give right now,
like, he might not make it.
499
00:18:35,416 --> 00:18:36,282
- Where's this needle?
- Okay, good.
500
00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:38,534
I'll give.
501
00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:40,419
- Oh, my.
- Hey.
502
00:18:40,455 --> 00:18:42,205
Oof!
What the--
503
00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:44,540
- Okay, now we're screwed.
- Okay, what the fuck?
504
00:18:44,626 --> 00:18:46,542
I have been waiting all day
for my appointment.
505
00:18:46,628 --> 00:18:48,844
- Well, what blood type are you?
- Ab, why?
506
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:51,347
Okay, we are gonna need to do
an emergency direct transfusion
507
00:18:51,432 --> 00:18:52,965
between the two of you.
508
00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:55,218
Ugh, all right, fine,
but how long is this gonna take?
509
00:18:55,303 --> 00:18:56,602
I got a Skype in 20.
510
00:18:58,189 --> 00:18:59,689
You're very lucky.
511
00:18:59,774 --> 00:19:01,807
You survived a highly
unorthodox transfusion
512
00:19:01,859 --> 00:19:04,227
performed by poorly trained
volunteer nurses.
513
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,812
- But did it work, though?
- All right.
514
00:19:06,898 --> 00:19:08,864
Come on, you need
to wait outside, ma'am.
515
00:19:08,950 --> 00:19:10,399
I'm just saying.
Did it not work?
516
00:19:10,485 --> 00:19:12,318
Outside.
517
00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:16,289
Listen, I am Carmen,
and I'm trying to start over.
518
00:19:16,324 --> 00:19:19,542
- Please don't ruin this for me.
- Hey.
519
00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:21,202
Secret's safe with me.
520
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:23,496
It's not the ten-year contract
we wanted,
521
00:19:23,548 --> 00:19:26,832
but here's an autographed napkin.
522
00:19:26,918 --> 00:19:30,336
And who is this?
I missed Dolph?
523
00:19:30,421 --> 00:19:33,005
He stopped by T.A.C. 'cause
he heard what happened to you,
524
00:19:33,091 --> 00:19:35,057
trying to give blood and all,
and felt bad.
525
00:19:35,143 --> 00:19:36,592
And he freaking didn't even come here
526
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:39,095
and talk to me face to face?
527
00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:40,596
What a bitch.
528
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,223
Best moment of that idiot's life
529
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:43,649
was getting his ass kicked
by Jean Claude Van Damme.
530
00:19:43,685 --> 00:19:44,767
Stop.
531
00:19:45,236 --> 00:19:48,729
He's a fricking bitch.
What a stupid bitch.
532
00:19:48,895 --> 00:19:50,815
He's right behind me, isn't he?
533
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:54,160
Nope, he's right behind me.
534
00:19:54,195 --> 00:19:57,747
You're looking at him.
535
00:19:57,832 --> 00:20:02,084
- Hi.
- Hi.
536
00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:05,504
You must've just heard
that long story I told.
537
00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:07,590
I heard it.
538
00:20:07,675 --> 00:20:09,842
I heard you, man.
539
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:11,544
I never meant to hurt you.
540
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,046
Good-bye forever.
541
00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:15,881
Oh, my God, that was crazy.
542
00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:18,092
Oh, wait.
My question.
543
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:21,187
Do you still have,
like, the voice of an angel?
544
00:20:21,222 --> 00:20:23,806
Uh, could you sing us a tune?
545
00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:26,776
Please.
546
00:20:26,861 --> 00:20:31,772
Ooh, ee, ooh
547
00:20:31,938 --> 00:20:33,065
Mr. Lundgren, wait.
548
00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:36,193
I've waited 15 years
to ask you this question.
549
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,704
So in the movie
Showdown In Little Tokyo,
550
00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:42,074
when you guys ate Sushi
off those naked ladies,
551
00:20:42,143 --> 00:20:44,794
were those real naked ladies?
552
00:20:44,879 --> 00:20:47,705
Uh, yeah.
553
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:50,132
Obviously.
554
00:20:50,218 --> 00:20:51,717
Yes!
I knew it.
555
00:20:51,753 --> 00:20:52,985
I knew it.
I knew it.
556
00:20:53,054 --> 00:20:54,712
You guys, they were real
naked ladies!
557
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:58,799
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
558
00:20:58,849 --> 00:21:03,399
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39369
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