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1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,630
With teamwork comes trust.
2
00:00:02,755 --> 00:00:05,533
With trust comes success.
3
00:00:05,658 --> 00:00:08,068
These are all principles that I--
4
00:00:08,193 --> 00:00:09,218
Well, well, well.
5
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:10,970
Lookee what we got here.
6
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:11,938
Three young bucks.
7
00:00:12,063 --> 00:00:12,972
I like it.
8
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,474
More like frickin' hung bucks.
9
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,475
[laughter]
10
00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:18,363
- 'Cause our things are huge.
- Yes.
11
00:00:18,488 --> 00:00:19,186
Who are you?
12
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,156
I am Teddy,
13
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:21,689
and corporate has sent me here
14
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,691
because tomorrow, I will be running
15
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,453
the TelAmeriCorp
team building competition,
16
00:00:27,578 --> 00:00:29,889
the winners of which get a weekend
17
00:00:30,014 --> 00:00:34,118
at a beautiful timeshare in
sunny Palm Springs, California.
18
00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:35,703
Ooh.
19
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,130
So, like, what's the deal
with the competition?
20
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:40,032
Well, I don't want to give
too much away,
21
00:00:40,157 --> 00:00:42,868
but let's just say there'll be
lots of activities
22
00:00:42,993 --> 00:00:45,796
that include teamwork, cooperation,
23
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,839
and trust...
24
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:48,883
falls!
25
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:49,841
Gil!
26
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:51,109
Boom!
27
00:00:51,234 --> 00:00:52,011
Boom!
Yeah.
28
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,554
(Blake)
Good job, Gil.
29
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,813
He's really strong.
30
00:00:54,938 --> 00:00:56,214
Each team is gonna get a T-shirt.
31
00:00:56,339 --> 00:00:57,850
What color would you boys like to be?
32
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,750
- Red.
- We call blue.
33
00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:00,751
- Yellow.
- Red.
34
00:01:00,876 --> 00:01:01,919
- Blue.
- Yellow.
35
00:01:02,044 --> 00:01:03,554
(Montez)
You fools are already starting
36
00:01:03,679 --> 00:01:05,024
on the wrong foot, huh?
37
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,692
(Adam)
Tez...
38
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,486
Shut up your gigantic mouth.
39
00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:10,428
(Ders)
Because there's one thing about us
40
00:01:10,553 --> 00:01:11,395
that you did not count on.
41
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:12,463
That's right.
42
00:01:12,588 --> 00:01:13,397
(both)
Trust fall.
43
00:01:13,522 --> 00:01:14,364
Wait, what?
44
00:01:14,489 --> 00:01:15,799
Hey, what the heck, man?
45
00:01:15,924 --> 00:01:17,036
My cereal.
46
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,330
Looking more like bust fall.
47
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,337
[both laugh]
48
00:01:21,462 --> 00:01:22,572
Bust fall.
49
00:01:22,697 --> 00:01:23,606
You should tweet that.
50
00:01:23,731 --> 00:01:24,668
Yeah.
51
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,379
You boys owe me some cereal.
52
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,391
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
53
00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:40,140
I'm fine.
54
00:01:40,265 --> 00:01:42,158
Lloyd was pissed.
Did you see him?
55
00:01:42,283 --> 00:01:44,092
Did you see how big his eyes get?
56
00:01:44,217 --> 00:01:45,761
[Montez laughs]
57
00:01:45,886 --> 00:01:47,295
I got to tell you,
58
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:49,064
I've seen some sad stuff
around this office,
59
00:01:49,189 --> 00:01:52,363
but that bust fall
was straight bust y'all.
60
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:53,501
[laughs]
Hey, Tez.
61
00:01:53,626 --> 00:01:54,865
Still not funny.
62
00:01:55,127 --> 00:01:56,637
Well, Twitter thought
it was hilarious.
63
00:01:56,762 --> 00:01:57,872
Nine faves and a retweet.
64
00:01:57,997 --> 00:01:58,827
Thank you, Bill.
65
00:01:58,993 --> 00:01:59,941
Nine faves.
66
00:02:00,066 --> 00:02:01,008
(Montez)
Mm-hmm.
67
00:02:01,133 --> 00:02:02,510
- Wow.
- That's a lot.
68
00:02:02,635 --> 00:02:04,278
Okay, I wouldn't make a big deal
about it, okay?
69
00:02:04,403 --> 00:02:06,313
We haven't even had our morning
sugar-free Red Bulls.
70
00:02:06,438 --> 00:02:07,647
We're still waking up.
71
00:02:07,772 --> 00:02:09,349
We're getting the sleep
out of our eyes.
72
00:02:09,474 --> 00:02:10,917
- That's true.
- We know each other so well.
73
00:02:11,042 --> 00:02:11,918
We're, like, telepathic.
74
00:02:12,043 --> 00:02:13,252
Like, for instance,
75
00:02:13,377 --> 00:02:14,821
what's my favorite movie of all time?
76
00:02:14,946 --> 00:02:15,755
- Hocus Pocus.
- Thank you.
77
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,023
What is my most viewed website?
78
00:02:17,148 --> 00:02:18,625
GoddessPost at work, PornHub at home.
79
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:19,807
- True
- What's my favorite--
80
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:20,827
Swimming.
81
00:02:20,952 --> 00:02:21,684
- There it is.
- Wow.
82
00:02:21,953 --> 00:02:23,529
All this is just surface chatter.
83
00:02:23,654 --> 00:02:24,830
You see, Bill and I have
84
00:02:24,955 --> 00:02:27,523
a complex, adult,
mature relationship.
85
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,358
We get real.
86
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,136
Bill, what's my biggest regret?
87
00:02:31,261 --> 00:02:33,472
Not forgiving your father
for his destructive gambling
88
00:02:33,597 --> 00:02:34,863
before he died.
89
00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:36,408
(Bill)
What's my biggest fear?
90
00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:37,574
That you'll die alone.
91
00:02:38,902 --> 00:02:40,244
Crazier things have happened.
92
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,479
What do y'all guys got?
93
00:02:41,604 --> 00:02:42,580
You think you know each other?
94
00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:44,015
Adam, tell me, then.
95
00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:45,207
What's Ders' biggest fear?
96
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:47,668
(Adam)
Uh...
97
00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:51,338
That his dick is smaller
than mine, obviously.
98
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,257
[all laugh]
99
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:54,225
Ooh, I'm so scared.
100
00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:55,292
Yeah, he's scared about it.
101
00:02:55,417 --> 00:02:56,828
Yeah, I know.
I bet he is.
102
00:02:56,953 --> 00:02:58,729
I've seen his dick before;
it's weird looking.
103
00:02:58,854 --> 00:03:00,163
- Yeah.
- Very weird color.
104
00:03:00,288 --> 00:03:01,598
Yeah, color of, like,
a pomegranate tea.
105
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:02,766
[laughs]
106
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,234
Tell me about your friend.
107
00:03:04,359 --> 00:03:05,502
What's Blake's biggest regret?
108
00:03:05,627 --> 00:03:06,837
(Ders)
Oh, I know this one.
109
00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:09,105
It's--it's got to be those fish tacos
110
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,149
he had for breakfast.
111
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,107
[all laugh]
112
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,175
Heartburn city, right?
113
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:13,644
(Blake)
Eww, are you kidding me?
114
00:03:13,769 --> 00:03:14,778
Those were fish?
I thought they were chicken.
115
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,111
Now I'm really regretting 'em.
116
00:03:16,236 --> 00:03:17,656
I hate fish.
117
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,114
[all laughing]
118
00:03:19,239 --> 00:03:20,416
I'm serious.
I'm allergic to fish.
119
00:03:20,541 --> 00:03:21,784
We put fish in 'em.
120
00:03:21,909 --> 00:03:23,118
We put fish in 'em.
121
00:03:23,243 --> 00:03:24,353
We should take him to a hospital.
122
00:03:24,478 --> 00:03:25,521
We just said, "Give us your fish."
123
00:03:25,646 --> 00:03:26,556
Is that why my eyes itch?
124
00:03:26,681 --> 00:03:27,690
Oh, my god.
125
00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:29,025
We just said, "Give us your fish."
126
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:30,459
He went to the bathroom, we're like,
127
00:03:30,584 --> 00:03:31,793
"We'll order for you;
give us your fish."
128
00:03:31,918 --> 00:03:33,061
Your new nickname is "Fish Taco."
129
00:03:33,186 --> 00:03:34,349
[all laugh]
130
00:03:34,474 --> 00:03:36,550
This is like Romper Room
in here right now.
131
00:03:36,990 --> 00:03:38,635
Y'all a bunch of children.
132
00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:39,935
That P. Springs?
133
00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:42,139
It's in the bag.
134
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,572
Why did you think they were chicken?
135
00:03:43,697 --> 00:03:44,573
I don't know.
136
00:03:44,698 --> 00:03:45,874
They smelled like chicken.
137
00:03:45,999 --> 00:03:47,776
Okay, so say Montez is right,
138
00:03:47,901 --> 00:03:49,021
which he's probably not.
139
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,343
What could you guys
140
00:03:50,468 --> 00:03:52,232
possibly want to know about me?
141
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,234
If we're gonna win this,
we need to connect at the core.
142
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,083
- Yes.
- So, like, a Tez question.
143
00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:58,251
Blake, what is your biggest secret?
144
00:03:58,376 --> 00:03:59,386
Go.
145
00:03:59,511 --> 00:04:00,788
Anders, my life is an open book.
146
00:04:00,913 --> 00:04:02,022
I'm not gonna read it to you, bud.
147
00:04:02,147 --> 00:04:03,523
I'm not telling you my
biggest secret.
148
00:04:03,648 --> 00:04:05,162
Hey, you guys live here?
149
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:08,294
No, we just sit on a stranger's
roof and drink beer.
150
00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:09,374
[laughs]
151
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:10,763
Is that true?
152
00:04:10,888 --> 00:04:12,753
It could be; I don't know you guys.
153
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:13,800
Yeah, we do live here, yeah.
154
00:04:13,925 --> 00:04:15,172
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
155
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,368
Okay, well, I'm working valet
156
00:04:16,493 --> 00:04:18,091
for the pride party down the street.
157
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:19,639
Pride party, nice.
158
00:04:19,764 --> 00:04:21,240
We're big MMA dudes, man.
159
00:04:21,365 --> 00:04:22,708
Yeah, man, I like my martial arts
160
00:04:22,833 --> 00:04:23,875
like I like my women.
161
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,310
Mixed, baby!
162
00:04:25,435 --> 00:04:26,645
(man)
Okay, well,
163
00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:28,046
look, we're running out of parking.
164
00:04:28,171 --> 00:04:29,895
Can I use your driveway
for the overflow?
165
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,483
Yeah, sure, sure.
166
00:04:31,608 --> 00:04:33,649
Go ahead, but, like, one question:
167
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,487
How is there a party on our block,
168
00:04:35,612 --> 00:04:37,444
and they didn't dem boys?
169
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:38,389
We dem boys.
170
00:04:38,514 --> 00:04:39,390
How are we not invited?
171
00:04:39,515 --> 00:04:40,958
Yeah, how are we not invited?
172
00:04:41,083 --> 00:04:42,226
Yeah, how are we not invited?
173
00:04:42,351 --> 00:04:43,894
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
how are we not invited?
174
00:04:44,019 --> 00:04:45,462
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
how are we not invited?
175
00:04:45,587 --> 00:04:46,631
What? What?
176
00:04:46,756 --> 00:04:47,871
(all)
How are we not invited?
177
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:48,966
Yeah, what? What?
178
00:04:49,091 --> 00:04:50,034
(all)
How are we not invited?
179
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:51,435
Come on!
180
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,709
Okay, I'm gonna
park the car here.
181
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,204
(all)
How are we not invited?
182
00:04:54,329 --> 00:04:55,205
(Adam)
Oh, oh.
183
00:04:55,330 --> 00:04:56,573
How's he not invited?
184
00:04:56,698 --> 00:04:57,807
Get them muscles out.
185
00:04:57,932 --> 00:04:59,308
It's a pride party.
186
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,368
Who wants to get put in
a rear naked choke?
187
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:05,649
Eh, we should get going, right?
188
00:05:05,774 --> 00:05:07,216
Rainbows, rainbows.
189
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,918
(man)
Hi, welcome to the party.
190
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:11,211
There's hors d'oeurves
and an open bar in back.
191
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,441
Hello
192
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:17,826
- Hello.
- Hello.
193
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:18,794
Hello.
194
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,395
Come on.
195
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,363
(Adam)
Hello.
196
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,564
- Hi.
- Hello.
197
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:23,866
- Who are they?
- I don't--
198
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:26,535
Dude, are you pretending to be gay?
199
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,236
What?
Yeah, man.
200
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,805
I don't want to give them
a reason to kick us out.
201
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,605
- This party seems pretty sweet.
- That's true.
202
00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:32,840
Gay dudes are like hot chicks.
203
00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:34,142
They only party with each other.
204
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:35,342
- Exactly.
- Right?
205
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:36,577
Hi, I don't believe we've met.
206
00:05:36,702 --> 00:05:37,712
I'm Joey, and this is Scott.
207
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,947
Wow, it is very surprising to me
208
00:05:40,072 --> 00:05:41,415
that we haven't run into each other,
209
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:44,428
because we are just
very involved in the scene.
210
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:45,386
The scene?
211
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,221
(Adam)
Yes.
212
00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:48,012
The...
213
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,356
having sex with other gay men scene.
214
00:05:50,481 --> 00:05:52,477
Discos.
215
00:05:53,985 --> 00:05:56,262
Yeah, we're three-way gay
with each other.
216
00:05:56,387 --> 00:05:58,817
It's just a shame we don't wear
the same sized clothes, huh?
217
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:00,527
(Scott)
I guess.
218
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,571
So that you could wear
each other's clothes.
219
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:03,503
That is the reason.
220
00:06:03,628 --> 00:06:04,671
Right, yeah.
221
00:06:04,796 --> 00:06:05,949
Cool party.
Later, bitches.
222
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,775
Why are they pretending to be gay?
223
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:10,829
Are they?
224
00:06:11,235 --> 00:06:12,678
Well, that little one looks like
225
00:06:12,803 --> 00:06:13,999
he could be a bottom.
226
00:06:21,721 --> 00:06:22,633
{pub}Get to the point.
227
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,598
To free booze.
228
00:06:23,723 --> 00:06:25,366
Boom.
229
00:06:25,491 --> 00:06:26,900
Okay, Ders' turn.
230
00:06:27,025 --> 00:06:28,972
What is something
that makes you feel stuff?
231
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,098
Hmm?
232
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:31,539
I'm still pretty uncomfortable
233
00:06:31,664 --> 00:06:32,872
talking about this stuff.
234
00:06:32,997 --> 00:06:34,341
So maybe we order a few more drinks,
235
00:06:34,466 --> 00:06:36,104
and then the feelings
will just flop out.
236
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:37,444
Whoo!
237
00:06:37,569 --> 00:06:38,678
(woman)
Calling all freaks
238
00:06:38,803 --> 00:06:39,646
All freaks all freaks
239
00:06:39,771 --> 00:06:40,901
Ah!
240
00:06:41,306 --> 00:06:43,350
(Blake)
Oh, you're turning me on, dude.
241
00:06:43,475 --> 00:06:44,446
Here's a secret:
242
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:45,985
if ejack tasted this good,
243
00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:47,287
I'd drink it by the frickin' gallon.
244
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:48,367
[laughs]
245
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:49,488
[together]
We're here!
246
00:06:49,613 --> 00:06:50,623
We're queer!
247
00:06:50,748 --> 00:06:52,913
We want to drink beer!
248
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:54,957
Why isn't there beer?
249
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,462
[belches loudly]
250
00:06:56,587 --> 00:06:58,030
I'm gonna help myself.
251
00:06:58,155 --> 00:06:59,632
I can shake it so fast.
252
00:06:59,757 --> 00:07:00,732
Look how fast I can shake it.
253
00:07:00,857 --> 00:07:01,546
Baby
254
00:07:01,792 --> 00:07:03,135
We're queer!
255
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:05,204
We're here!
256
00:07:05,329 --> 00:07:06,538
We're here!
257
00:07:06,663 --> 00:07:08,553
[all screaming]
258
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:10,175
Bottle landed right on my head.
259
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:11,974
I dropped it right on my head.
260
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,351
I sucked this guy [bleep]
before, I think.
261
00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:15,713
(Blake)
Grr, I'm gonna butt ram you.
262
00:07:15,838 --> 00:07:16,714
[laughs]
263
00:07:16,839 --> 00:07:18,149
Happy Pride Day!
264
00:07:18,274 --> 00:07:19,784
[screams]
265
00:07:19,909 --> 00:07:20,818
Dogpile!
266
00:07:20,943 --> 00:07:21,852
[all laughing]
267
00:07:21,977 --> 00:07:24,054
(Blake)
Oh, no!
268
00:07:24,179 --> 00:07:25,821
What the [bleep] is wrong with you?
269
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,157
What, dude?
270
00:07:27,282 --> 00:07:28,615
It's actually still pretty good.
271
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,760
(Adam)
Oh, we're so bonded right now.
272
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:31,828
(Ders)
We're three-way gay!
273
00:07:31,953 --> 00:07:34,162
[echoing]
274
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:38,709
[Blake groaning]
275
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:39,793
Blazer, shut up.
276
00:07:40,028 --> 00:07:41,470
Close the curtains, dude.
277
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:42,471
Ow, ow, ow.
278
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:43,797
Easy with the sheets, man.
279
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,966
Ah, my knees.
280
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,010
Whose bedroom is this?
281
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,512
Oh, my head.
282
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,848
Dude, you got frosting
all over your chest.
283
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,383
Mm.
284
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:55,751
Yummy.
285
00:07:55,876 --> 00:08:01,223
[dramatic musical tone]
286
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,124
It's not frosting.
287
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,568
- What is it?
- That's jizz.
288
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,594
There's jizz on my chest!
289
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:06,595
- Jizz!
- Whoa!
290
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,729
It used to be frickin' wet,
291
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:08,930
but now it's dry.
292
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,031
- It's dry jizz.
- Eww.
293
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,157
Why's there jizz on me?
294
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,734
(Ders)
Um...
295
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:13,618
I...
296
00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:15,102
- What?
- What are you doing?
297
00:08:15,227 --> 00:08:17,294
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
298
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,167
[all screaming]
299
00:08:23,268 --> 00:08:24,144
Okay, this is bad.
300
00:08:24,269 --> 00:08:25,846
This is really, really bad.
301
00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:26,747
(Scott)
You guys.
302
00:08:26,872 --> 00:08:29,256
Please stop yelling.
You're gonna wake up the neighbors.
303
00:08:29,381 --> 00:08:30,129
(Adam)
Guess what?
304
00:08:30,254 --> 00:08:32,365
We're awake,
and I'm gonna freakin' call the police,
305
00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:33,930
'cause I was ejacked on illegally.
306
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:34,517
What?
307
00:08:34,642 --> 00:08:35,682
We've been sexually assaulted, okay?
308
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,337
Perhaps roofied, all right?
309
00:08:37,462 --> 00:08:39,186
Call a toxologist right now.
310
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,687
We were drugged and then fugged.
311
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:41,854
Drugged and fugged.
312
00:08:42,881 --> 00:08:43,440
No, you weren't.
313
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,328
(Scott)
You guys.
314
00:08:45,453 --> 00:08:47,319
You [bleep] the crap
out of each other.
315
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,363
- What?
- What?
316
00:08:48,488 --> 00:08:49,331
No.
317
00:08:49,456 --> 00:08:50,365
They don't remember.
318
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,866
Really?
319
00:08:51,991 --> 00:08:54,826
We heard all this grunting
coming from in here,
320
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,661
so we came down the hall,
321
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:58,914
and...
322
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,207
What?
323
00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:02,709
You boys were rockin'
each other's worlds.
324
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,879
You kept saying how you
wanted to get closer,
325
00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:07,172
and then you were just
inside each other.
326
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,590
What?
327
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,300
It was a real three-ring bone circus.
328
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,719
[Scotting humming
Entrance of the Gladiators]
329
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:13,687
(Joey)
Yeah.
330
00:09:13,812 --> 00:09:14,688
[both laugh]
331
00:09:14,813 --> 00:09:17,190
[all screaming]
332
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:18,258
No!
333
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:19,259
No!
334
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:20,560
Wild.
335
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,979
[speaking indistinctly]
336
00:09:23,287 --> 00:09:24,463
Wow.
337
00:09:24,588 --> 00:09:26,650
You guys look like you had
a little too much fun last night.
338
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:27,650
No we don't; you do.
339
00:09:27,816 --> 00:09:29,945
You ready to get your butts
handed to you?
340
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,470
No, all right?
341
00:09:31,595 --> 00:09:33,281
'Cause our butts are our own;
nobody else handles them.
342
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:34,548
So just shut up.
343
00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:37,209
(Teddy)
All right, TelAmericans!
344
00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:38,245
Yeah!
345
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,579
Whoo!
346
00:09:39,803 --> 00:09:41,145
When I say "Tela,"
you say "mericans."
347
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:41,915
Tela!
348
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:42,826
Mericans.
349
00:09:42,951 --> 00:09:43,917
(Teddy)
Yeah! Boom!
350
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,418
That's what I'm talking about.
351
00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:47,153
I hope you people all brought
your hard hats,
352
00:09:47,278 --> 00:09:49,823
because today, we are gonna be
building some teams.
353
00:09:49,948 --> 00:09:50,757
- Oh.
- Boom!
354
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:51,758
That's funny.
355
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:52,759
I'm Teddy.
356
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:53,927
I will be your foreman.
357
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,361
(Alice)
Ugh.
358
00:09:55,486 --> 00:09:56,528
(Teddy)
And that will be the end
359
00:09:56,653 --> 00:09:57,863
of the building metaphors.
360
00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,331
All right, let's break some ground!
361
00:09:59,456 --> 00:10:00,265
- Ugh.
- Okay.
362
00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:01,266
That was the last one.
363
00:10:01,391 --> 00:10:02,267
Here we go.
364
00:10:02,392 --> 00:10:03,268
Stage dive.
365
00:10:03,393 --> 00:10:04,354
Whoa!
366
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,604
Palm springs!
Get some!
367
00:10:05,729 --> 00:10:06,772
- Get it!
- Okay, Jillian.
368
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,233
- Get it hard!
- Chill out.
369
00:10:08,632 --> 00:10:10,308
There is no way we're gonna
win this stupid thing
370
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:11,677
with Gary on our team.
371
00:10:11,802 --> 00:10:13,611
I was a spy in Hong Kong.
372
00:10:13,736 --> 00:10:14,946
(Teddy)
Team Yellow, where are we?
373
00:10:15,071 --> 00:10:16,116
Here we go.
374
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,081
Boom!
375
00:10:17,206 --> 00:10:18,049
The green team, here we go.
376
00:10:18,174 --> 00:10:19,784
Yeah, there you are.
377
00:10:19,909 --> 00:10:23,283
And since you boys couldn't
decide on one color,
378
00:10:23,408 --> 00:10:26,517
I had these made up for you special.
379
00:10:27,451 --> 00:10:29,151
You're my rainbow warriors!
380
00:10:29,618 --> 00:10:30,793
Of course we are.
381
00:10:30,918 --> 00:10:32,429
- Yeah, let's do this!
- Okay.
382
00:10:32,554 --> 00:10:34,097
(Teddy)
Whichever team gets the most eggs
383
00:10:34,222 --> 00:10:35,331
in their basket in a minute
384
00:10:35,456 --> 00:10:38,179
is gonna get a 20-second head start
385
00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:40,181
for the final event,
386
00:10:40,428 --> 00:10:41,704
the obstacle race.
387
00:10:41,829 --> 00:10:43,206
All right, everybody.
388
00:10:43,331 --> 00:10:44,374
On your marks.
389
00:10:44,499 --> 00:10:47,242
[airhorn blows]
390
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:48,377
(Blake)
Adam, go.
391
00:10:48,502 --> 00:10:49,344
I'm going.
392
00:10:49,469 --> 00:10:50,345
Back up.
393
00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:51,568
I'm where I'm at.
394
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,315
(Teddy)
Just like the shell of an egg,
395
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,417
a group is fragile
and needs to be handled with--
396
00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:56,651
[bleep] damn it.
397
00:10:56,776 --> 00:10:57,657
(Teddy)
Rainbow warriors,
398
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,012
don't be afraid to touch,
rainbow warriors.
399
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:00,702
That's it.
400
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,902
Use each other's bodies to balance.
401
00:11:03,027 --> 00:11:03,455
Yes.
402
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,559
Mm-hmm.
403
00:11:04,684 --> 00:11:06,124
All right, quit looking at me.
404
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:07,429
I'm looking at the egg.
405
00:11:07,554 --> 00:11:09,730
I'm looking up into the sky.
406
00:11:09,855 --> 00:11:10,898
Mm.
407
00:11:11,023 --> 00:11:12,293
Okay?
Was it that hard?
408
00:11:12,418 --> 00:11:13,798
I wasn't looking at you.
409
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:14,402
Come here.
410
00:11:14,527 --> 00:11:15,436
[grunts]
411
00:11:15,561 --> 00:11:16,404
Don't touch me.
412
00:11:16,529 --> 00:11:17,538
What are you doing, man?
413
00:11:17,663 --> 00:11:19,929
You just flinched.
I'm not gonna hit you.
414
00:11:20,095 --> 00:11:21,098
Dog, back up off of me.
415
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,016
You're in m space,
and I don't feel safe with that.
416
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:24,100
- You didn't feel safe?
- No.
417
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,898
You don't feel--
you think I feel safe...
418
00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:29,587
when you parked your car
in my garage last night?
419
00:11:29,712 --> 00:11:30,523
You didn't even ask.
420
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:33,320
You probably wanted my sport
wagon up in your garage, okay?
421
00:11:33,445 --> 00:11:34,454
You probably begged for it.
422
00:11:34,579 --> 00:11:36,469
(Adam)
You guys are both sickos,
423
00:11:36,594 --> 00:11:38,826
'cause you guys frickin'
smashed your cars
424
00:11:38,951 --> 00:11:42,118
into my very tender,
very tight little garage,
425
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,064
and then one of you hosed me down
426
00:11:44,189 --> 00:11:46,498
right on the chest
with freaking wiper fluid.
427
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,134
Maybe it was both of you.
It seemed to be a lot.
428
00:11:48,259 --> 00:11:49,459
See, Adam I understand.
429
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,878
He'll park his little Mini
in any old garage.
430
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,589
I have a very, very
medium-sized sedan.
431
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:57,509
I left my garage door open,
and you parked your car
432
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,344
and left me with a leaky tailpipe.
433
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,027
(Blake)
Leaky tail? That's disgusting.
434
00:12:01,152 --> 00:12:02,079
What does that even mean?
435
00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:03,314
Was your butthole leaking today?
436
00:12:03,439 --> 00:12:04,599
That's gross.
437
00:12:05,268 --> 00:12:07,227
Hey, what the hell
are you guys doing?
438
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,728
(Teddy)
Alice, Alice, I got this.
439
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,480
Guys, you're on the same team.
Stop!
440
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:11,731
This team's over.
441
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,149
(Teddy)
Come on, rainbow warriors.
442
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,191
Bring it in.
443
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,192
Let's go talk this out.
444
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,360
Bring it in, come on.
445
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:17,461
(Blake)
Yeah, stop, please.
446
00:12:17,586 --> 00:12:18,695
All right.
447
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:20,240
What's the problem?
448
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,158
You know what, Teddy...
449
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:22,898
What?
450
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,245
We have...
451
00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,164
Some friends, right?
452
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,667
And they live together,
and they work together,
453
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,308
and they used to be best friends
454
00:12:32,433 --> 00:12:33,909
until last night.
455
00:12:34,034 --> 00:12:36,798
What happened to these friends
of yours last night?
456
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:37,757
Oh.
457
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,676
The three friends
458
00:12:40,314 --> 00:12:42,011
hooked up with each other hard.
459
00:12:42,177 --> 00:12:42,952
- Yeah.
- Once.
460
00:12:43,077 --> 00:12:44,319
(Adam)
Just one time,
461
00:12:44,444 --> 00:12:45,974
but a lot of butt stuff
and mouth stuff.
462
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:49,190
Okay, well, I would tell, uh...
463
00:12:49,315 --> 00:12:50,729
I would tell your friends
to get tested.
464
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,259
I would also tell
your friends to have
465
00:12:52,384 --> 00:12:56,931
an honest, mature, adult conversation
466
00:12:57,056 --> 00:12:58,194
about what happened.
467
00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:01,156
Hey, listen, if your friends
want any more advice,
468
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,904
just tell them to swing by my office.
469
00:13:03,029 --> 00:13:04,033
(Ders)
Teddy...
470
00:13:04,963 --> 00:13:05,910
We're talking about us.
471
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,767
[laughing]
472
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,294
I'm tweeting that.
473
00:13:13,419 --> 00:13:15,003
I am tweeting that.
474
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,282
Whatever, maybe he's right.
475
00:13:16,407 --> 00:13:19,174
Maybe we should have an adult,
mature conversation about it.
476
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,001
Right.
477
00:13:20,126 --> 00:13:21,426
Guys, bad news, but that--
478
00:13:22,047 --> 00:13:24,471
that tweet is gonna be
too many characters, so, uh...
479
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:25,958
I'm just gonna throw it into drafts
480
00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:27,307
and then circle back to it later.
481
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,409
[airhorn blows]
482
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,264
{pub}As weird he is, maybe he's right.
483
00:13:36,389 --> 00:13:38,233
Maybe we should talk about it.
484
00:13:38,358 --> 00:13:39,635
I know we don't like to, like,
485
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:42,436
freaking talk about, like,
real stuff,
486
00:13:42,561 --> 00:13:43,605
like secrets.
487
00:13:43,730 --> 00:13:44,863
- Yeah.
- We're dudes.
488
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,432
But now we have a huge secret.
489
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:48,643
Yeah, yeah.
490
00:13:48,768 --> 00:13:50,044
And, I mean, this is a secret
491
00:13:50,169 --> 00:13:51,713
that we'll never tell
anybody else, right?
492
00:13:51,838 --> 00:13:53,347
Nope, no.
493
00:13:53,472 --> 00:13:55,168
I'm gonna freakin' take this one
to my deathbed.
494
00:13:55,407 --> 00:13:56,784
Until we write our tell-alls.
495
00:13:56,909 --> 00:13:58,129
Yeah, or maybe it's just a tell-some.
496
00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,214
All right, I'm gonna tell a secret.
497
00:13:59,568 --> 00:14:00,757
Okay, remember that night
498
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,155
when we were watching Shallow Hal,
499
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,190
and, like, I just
wouldn't stop crying?
500
00:14:04,315 --> 00:14:05,325
(Ders)
Yeah.
501
00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:06,627
(Blake)
Okay, it's not because
502
00:14:06,752 --> 00:14:08,723
that movie is both hilarious
and touching.
503
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:09,405
It is.
504
00:14:10,789 --> 00:14:12,352
My uncle Howie died that night,
505
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,146
and, you know, we were really close.
506
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:16,135
[sighs]
507
00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:17,857
I really miss him, still.
508
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,438
I know you guys didn't know,
509
00:14:19,563 --> 00:14:22,341
but just having you there,
510
00:14:22,466 --> 00:14:23,943
it really helped me get through it.
511
00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:26,469
I think I might be the son
of my parents' gardener.
512
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:31,416
I caught him and my mom together
when I was super young,
513
00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:34,919
and that means that...
514
00:14:35,044 --> 00:14:36,626
I'm not 100% Norwegian.
515
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,211
I'm, like, half...
516
00:14:39,015 --> 00:14:40,463
German-Irish or something.
517
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:41,464
(Blake)
It's okay.
518
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:42,226
Irish.
519
00:14:42,351 --> 00:14:43,800
Yeah, it's all right.
520
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:48,299
I know this is gonna be
hard to believe, but...
521
00:14:48,424 --> 00:14:50,223
I wasn't the coolest kid in school.
522
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:52,703
In fact, I got beat up all the time.
523
00:14:52,828 --> 00:14:54,404
I didn't have any friends.
524
00:14:54,529 --> 00:14:55,687
Probably 'cause of the way you run.
525
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,063
No, not because of my run.
526
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,542
- It's a weird run.
- No.
527
00:14:58,667 --> 00:14:59,910
And I think that's why
I'm so addicted
528
00:15:00,035 --> 00:15:01,679
to freaking having these
gigantic muscles
529
00:15:01,804 --> 00:15:03,346
and being this freaking
mountain of beef
530
00:15:03,471 --> 00:15:04,737
you see before you today.
531
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,115
I've never told anyone that.
532
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,651
Wow.
533
00:15:08,776 --> 00:15:10,053
Okay, that felt pretty good.
534
00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:12,655
I felt something, yeah.
535
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:13,656
Shake it out, shake it out.
536
00:15:13,781 --> 00:15:14,657
- Gross.
- Okay, whatever.
537
00:15:14,782 --> 00:15:15,658
Last night happened.
538
00:15:15,783 --> 00:15:17,060
That's in the past,
539
00:15:17,185 --> 00:15:19,128
but I just know that
I need you guys in my life
540
00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:20,329
for the rest of my life,
541
00:15:20,454 --> 00:15:22,031
because you're my, like, rock, man.
542
00:15:22,156 --> 00:15:23,498
(Ders)
Hey.
543
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,068
What do you guys say we
go get Palm Sprung!
544
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:27,135
Yeah, baby.
545
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,036
- Whoo!
- Yeah.
546
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,304
Okay, all right.
547
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,572
We don't even need to do that.
548
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:31,907
- All right, race you guys.
- Yeah.
549
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:32,841
Oh, check it out, the run.
550
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:33,842
The run.
551
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,276
Wow.
552
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:36,435
- I want to kick his ass.
- Race you!
553
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,896
Any questions?
554
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,514
All right, we are ready to
rock and jock.
555
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:41,774
So how's this work?
556
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,117
Just went throught the whole thing.
557
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:44,185
I'm not gonna do that again.
558
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,152
It's, uh...
559
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,187
It's an obstacle course.
560
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:47,421
What do you want?
561
00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:48,622
All right, everybody line up.
562
00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,191
Whoo!
It's go time.
563
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,158
Hoo-ra!
564
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:52,683
God, who gives a [bleep]?
565
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:55,930
You want to lay down and quit,
go ahead.
566
00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:58,222
But I'm gonna finish this thing
through to the end.
567
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:05,006
You're gonna wish
you have never did that.
568
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:06,472
(Teddy)
Here we go.
569
00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:07,258
Green team.
570
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,761
[airhorn blows]
571
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,679
You got this.
Go, go, go, go.
572
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:12,635
Yellow team airhorn.
573
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,136
[airhorn blows]
574
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,143
Everybody else, airhorn!
575
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,355
Get 'em, get 'em, get' em.
576
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,896
[airhorn blowing]
577
00:16:20,210 --> 00:16:21,086
(Ders)
Great form, Adam.
578
00:16:21,211 --> 00:16:23,775
Thanks, man.
Learned it from watching you, dude.
579
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:25,360
Oh, oh.
I got you, big boy.
580
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:26,778
I got you, big boy.
581
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,226
Wait, Adam, wait. My knees,
they're too tender. I can't do it.
582
00:16:29,351 --> 00:16:30,630
Here; use me as a human cushion.
583
00:16:30,755 --> 00:16:31,776
Okay, thank you.
584
00:16:31,901 --> 00:16:33,464
[both grunting]
585
00:16:33,589 --> 00:16:34,498
(Ders)
Looking good, guys.
586
00:16:34,623 --> 00:16:36,224
[all speaking at once]
587
00:16:37,559 --> 00:16:38,414
They gaining on us.
588
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:39,415
Go!
Come on, Bill.
589
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,460
- Come on.
- Yes!
590
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:43,658
Ow.
591
00:16:43,783 --> 00:16:46,130
That's it, rainbow warriors.
That's it.
592
00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:47,423
Okay.
593
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,312
God damn, Bill, why you so fast?
594
00:16:49,437 --> 00:16:51,505
Ooh, that's high as [bleep].
How we gonna get that?
595
00:16:51,630 --> 00:16:52,704
Wait.
596
00:16:52,829 --> 00:16:54,208
(Montez)
Ah, man!
597
00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:55,986
(Teddy)
Why don't you try shouldering
598
00:16:56,111 --> 00:16:57,809
the burden of your teammates.
599
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,489
I got it, human totem pole.
600
00:16:59,614 --> 00:17:00,791
Let me up on your shoulders.
601
00:17:00,916 --> 00:17:02,264
(Montez)
Hell to the no,
602
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:03,927
you're not putting your
stanky-ass balls in my face.
603
00:17:04,052 --> 00:17:04,920
You don't wear underwear, Bill.
604
00:17:05,045 --> 00:17:06,150
It's not good for them.
605
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:08,707
(Teddy)
Remember teamwork builds trust,
606
00:17:08,832 --> 00:17:10,405
and trust builds success.
607
00:17:11,325 --> 00:17:11,948
Adam.
608
00:17:12,274 --> 00:17:14,867
Your balls, my face right now.
609
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,494
That'd be a dream come true!
610
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,060
- Come on.
- Yes!
611
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,498
Go on. Get it.
Great, great, great.
612
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:22,057
I got you.
613
00:17:22,182 --> 00:17:22,875
Oh!
614
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,904
I'm all about that bass.
Ha ha!
615
00:17:25,029 --> 00:17:26,447
Okay, I'm gonna come up now.
616
00:17:26,572 --> 00:17:27,922
All right, here I go.
617
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,882
Get in there, rainbow warriors.
618
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:30,996
- Here we go.
- Here we go.
619
00:17:31,121 --> 00:17:32,578
We're using some upper strength here.
620
00:17:33,370 --> 00:17:35,388
(Blake)
Okay, going up the next tier.
621
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:36,806
(Adam)
Oh, god.
622
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,933
(Blake)
Just right there, bud.
623
00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:41,925
We're just gonna--
whoo, you're tickling me.
624
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,479
I need to go higher.
625
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,690
Grab my butt.
It's okay.
626
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:46,725
[Adam screams]
627
00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:48,067
Oh, god.
Oh, god.
628
00:17:48,726 --> 00:17:49,802
- I got it!
- No!
629
00:17:49,927 --> 00:17:51,154
I got it.
I got it.
630
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:53,740
He--he got it.
631
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,541
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
632
00:17:54,666 --> 00:17:55,783
[airhorn blows]
633
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,118
(Blake)
We're going to Palm Springs.
634
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:58,011
Suck it, Tez.
635
00:17:58,136 --> 00:18:00,246
Don't really suck it, though.
636
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,513
We did that.
That's 'cause of you.
637
00:18:01,638 --> 00:18:02,548
That's 'cause of you.
638
00:18:02,673 --> 00:18:04,083
Proud to be your friend.
639
00:18:04,342 --> 00:18:05,751
(Ders)
I don't want this friendship to ever end.
640
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,128
(Adam)
It never will.
641
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:08,787
But, you know, you guys
didn't have to go
642
00:18:08,912 --> 00:18:10,723
face to crotch, face to crotch,
face to crotch.
643
00:18:10,848 --> 00:18:12,282
You could've just done it
from behind.
644
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:13,624
Been there.
645
00:18:13,749 --> 00:18:14,659
- Shut up.
- Shut up.
646
00:18:14,784 --> 00:18:15,470
Sorry.
647
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:23,936
{pub}Hello.
648
00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:25,396
Oh, hello.
649
00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:28,540
Scott, the party toads are back.
650
00:18:28,665 --> 00:18:31,276
Hey, guys, we just
wanted to bring over
651
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:33,112
a little peace offering
652
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:34,739
for the way we acted at the party.
653
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,240
There you go.
654
00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:37,215
We made it ourselves.
655
00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:38,215
You get that?
656
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:39,327
Of course.
657
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:40,785
So the butt sex we had
658
00:18:40,910 --> 00:18:42,163
at your party the other night,
659
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:43,721
we'd never done that before.
660
00:18:43,846 --> 00:18:45,490
We're not really three-way gay
661
00:18:45,615 --> 00:18:46,751
or even gay at all.
662
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,336
Not even the short one?
663
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:49,462
No.
664
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:50,685
(Blake)
Yeah, you know,
665
00:18:50,962 --> 00:18:52,397
we're not gonna ever do it again,
666
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:55,676
but it did really bring us
closer together as friends,
667
00:18:55,842 --> 00:18:56,886
so...
668
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,304
thanks.
669
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,669
Oh, my god, we have to tell them.
670
00:18:59,794 --> 00:19:00,771
What?
No.
671
00:19:00,896 --> 00:19:01,772
Yeah, we have to tell them.
672
00:19:01,897 --> 00:19:02,839
Tell us what?
673
00:19:02,964 --> 00:19:04,307
Nothing.
Thank you for the cake.
674
00:19:04,432 --> 00:19:06,062
- Bye.
- You didn't [bleep] each other.
675
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,010
We--no.
676
00:19:07,135 --> 00:19:08,468
No, we definitely did.
677
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:10,858
We did.
We did, in a real way.
678
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:11,781
Changed me forever.
679
00:19:11,906 --> 00:19:12,815
Dropped into each other.
680
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:13,816
That happened.
681
00:19:13,941 --> 00:19:15,083
No, you didn't.
682
00:19:15,208 --> 00:19:16,619
We staged the whole thing
683
00:19:16,744 --> 00:19:18,824
because you were acting like
drunken jerks.
684
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:21,118
But I had a condom.
685
00:19:21,284 --> 00:19:22,090
We put that in your butt
686
00:19:22,215 --> 00:19:23,329
with a toothbrush.
687
00:19:24,451 --> 00:19:25,828
But my knees were all--
688
00:19:25,953 --> 00:19:27,496
and my jaw was really sore.
689
00:19:27,621 --> 00:19:29,297
I figured I had, like, three to four.
690
00:19:29,422 --> 00:19:31,433
(Joey)
You choked our bodybuilder friend Rog.
691
00:19:31,558 --> 00:19:32,901
He punched you in the face
692
00:19:33,026 --> 00:19:34,569
and dragged you by the hair
into that room.
693
00:19:34,694 --> 00:19:36,037
Rog?
I thought we were friends.
694
00:19:36,162 --> 00:19:38,427
So the sticky stuff on my chest
was just glue.
695
00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:39,845
No, that was semen.
696
00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:41,222
Hmm?
697
00:19:41,467 --> 00:19:43,645
You were running around
our house, masturbating,
698
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:45,726
"I am the gayest of them all.
699
00:19:45,892 --> 00:19:47,561
[mumbling aggressively]"
700
00:19:47,727 --> 00:19:49,215
And then you finished on yourself,
701
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:50,398
and you passed out.
702
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:51,318
Yep, you know what?
703
00:19:51,443 --> 00:19:52,352
I remember that.
704
00:19:52,477 --> 00:19:53,386
I did do that.
705
00:19:53,511 --> 00:19:54,321
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
706
00:19:54,446 --> 00:19:55,653
Okay, wait, hold on.
707
00:19:56,014 --> 00:19:57,357
What you're saying is,
708
00:19:57,482 --> 00:19:59,025
that we--we did not have sex
with each other?
709
00:19:59,150 --> 00:19:59,865
No.
710
00:20:00,118 --> 00:20:01,094
[sighs]
711
00:20:01,219 --> 00:20:01,995
- Okay.
- Oh, my god.
712
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,369
Okay, wow.
713
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:04,464
(Ders)
That's a relief.
714
00:20:04,589 --> 00:20:06,065
We're gonna head out then.
715
00:20:06,190 --> 00:20:07,800
We're going to Palm Springs
for the weekend.
716
00:20:07,925 --> 00:20:09,201
Yeah.
717
00:20:09,326 --> 00:20:10,670
Us too.
We have a house down there.
718
00:20:10,795 --> 00:20:12,338
Yeah, we're having a big party
on Saturday--
719
00:20:12,463 --> 00:20:13,439
Oh, yeah?
720
00:20:13,564 --> 00:20:14,373
- Huh.
- Wow.
721
00:20:14,498 --> 00:20:16,090
Yeah.
722
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,259
You definitely shouldn't come by.
723
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,012
Joey.
724
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,138
Yeah.
725
00:20:22,844 --> 00:20:24,645
(Adam)
Wow, they're having a party.
726
00:20:24,770 --> 00:20:25,817
How are we not invited?
727
00:20:25,942 --> 00:20:26,985
(Ders)
Right?
728
00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:28,152
(Adam)
How are we not invited?
729
00:20:28,277 --> 00:20:29,788
How are we not invited?
730
00:20:29,913 --> 00:20:31,222
(all)
How are we not invited?
731
00:20:31,347 --> 00:20:32,256
Okay.
732
00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:33,224
How are we not invited?
733
00:20:33,349 --> 00:20:34,459
All right.
734
00:20:34,584 --> 00:20:35,735
(all)
How are we not invited?
735
00:20:36,052 --> 00:20:37,895
How are we not invited?
736
00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:39,797
How are we not invited?
737
00:20:39,922 --> 00:20:41,866
How are we not invited?
738
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,734
How are we not invited?
739
00:20:43,859 --> 00:20:45,569
How are we not invited?
740
00:20:45,694 --> 00:20:46,657
How are we not--
741
00:20:46,782 --> 00:20:50,750
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
742
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:55,350
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