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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,594 --> 00:00:02,461 I'm not saying I'm pro-bullying, but... 2 00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:04,676 At what point does the anti-bullying campaign 3 00:00:04,801 --> 00:00:06,095 just start bullying the cool kids? 4 00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:07,262 - Right. - Exactly. 5 00:00:07,387 --> 00:00:08,880 That's what I'm sayin'. 6 00:00:09,005 --> 00:00:10,048 We could be losing like a whole generation 7 00:00:10,173 --> 00:00:11,433 of cool kids. 8 00:00:11,558 --> 00:00:13,597 No! No, damn it! 9 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,682 Please! 10 00:00:15,848 --> 00:00:17,556 No! 11 00:00:17,681 --> 00:00:20,228 No! Breathe water, damn it! 12 00:00:20,394 --> 00:00:22,745 Whoa. 13 00:00:22,870 --> 00:00:25,063 - Ew. - What are you doing? 14 00:00:25,188 --> 00:00:27,361 P.F. Chang's, it's closing, 15 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,668 so I tried to rescue my Koi fish friends from their pond, 16 00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:32,324 but something's gone really wrong. 17 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,534 I gotta give 'em mouth-to-gill. 18 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:35,911 That's sad. Did P.F. die? 19 00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:38,093 Oh, man. He was like an old dude. 20 00:00:38,218 --> 00:00:40,245 I hope one of the other changs takes it over. 21 00:00:40,370 --> 00:00:41,880 - Maybe Michael? - Oh, cool, yeah. 22 00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:45,184 Like with the whole tennis theme? 23 00:00:45,309 --> 00:00:46,218 - Ew. - Oh. 24 00:00:46,343 --> 00:00:47,464 - Oh. - No. 25 00:00:48,044 --> 00:00:50,092 No, no. 26 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,807 Yo, God! 27 00:00:51,932 --> 00:00:54,262 Why are you killing my friends? 28 00:00:54,428 --> 00:00:57,265 What did I do? Wait. 29 00:00:58,488 --> 00:01:01,311 This isn't one of them chlorine pools, is it? 30 00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:08,944 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 31 00:01:14,755 --> 00:01:16,381 Here, just Chuck it. 32 00:01:16,506 --> 00:01:17,828 Good-bye, Koi Orbison. 33 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,718 So long, Gilly Nelson. 34 00:01:19,843 --> 00:01:21,373 You were always on my mind. 35 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:23,972 See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya, Fish Diesel. 36 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,669 Coulda said "Fin Diesel," right? 37 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:26,725 - Damn it. - Oh. 38 00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:28,130 Oh, ho, ho, it popped. 39 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,295 Adam, no, no. No, no, no, no. 40 00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:32,755 Don't disrespect these majestic beasts, all right? 41 00:01:33,217 --> 00:01:33,899 Sorry. 42 00:01:34,024 --> 00:01:35,484 These Koi fish were my friends. 43 00:01:35,761 --> 00:01:37,069 I told them my hopes, my dreams. 44 00:01:37,194 --> 00:01:39,605 They knew my secrets. Damn, man. 45 00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:41,156 I feel like this is exactly how a dude 46 00:01:41,281 --> 00:01:42,691 in a street gang would feel. 47 00:01:42,816 --> 00:01:43,859 These are all my dead homeys. 48 00:01:43,984 --> 00:01:45,355 I bet it feels a little different 49 00:01:45,521 --> 00:01:46,995 to like have human beings die and stuff. 50 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:48,997 - They're just fish. - No, man. 51 00:01:49,122 --> 00:01:51,583 I'm like chief keef, dude. 52 00:01:51,708 --> 00:01:54,486 Basically. This is shit I don't like. 53 00:01:54,611 --> 00:01:56,421 Hey, Blake. 54 00:01:56,546 --> 00:01:59,703 I think I know how we can honor 'em. 55 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:02,177 Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. Okay. 56 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,957 Wait, are you guys gonna fuck these fish? 57 00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:05,459 - No, we're not gonna... - okay. 58 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,960 Then, what was that face all about? 59 00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:09,301 It's a fish fry, y'all! 60 00:02:09,426 --> 00:02:12,888 Whoo, whoo! You will not be needing this. 61 00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:14,926 - My gyro. - You are too kind, bill. 62 00:02:15,565 --> 00:02:17,943 But he is right, we are heroes because today, 63 00:02:18,068 --> 00:02:20,098 we will be frying everybody's lunch. 64 00:02:20,264 --> 00:02:22,184 Get that fruit out of your face. 65 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,310 These aren't eatin' fish. 66 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,936 This is decorative pond scum 67 00:02:25,102 --> 00:02:26,938 livin' off pennies and tic-tacs. 68 00:02:27,104 --> 00:02:28,720 Okay, it's not decorative pond scum, 69 00:02:28,845 --> 00:02:30,817 and they eat loogies and big league chew. 70 00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:35,489 Look at this nasty-ass bitch. 71 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,449 You put Rob Koidry down, 72 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:38,992 or I'll send you back to time 73 00:02:39,439 --> 00:02:41,119 in a-a hot tub. 74 00:02:41,285 --> 00:02:44,352 - Yeah, like the movie. - The movie's funny, dude. 75 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:45,999 Why are you doing this? 76 00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:47,873 You owe me an explanation. 77 00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:49,491 I just don't think we're compatible, 78 00:02:49,616 --> 00:02:51,493 age-wise or whatever. 79 00:02:51,618 --> 00:02:54,880 Age-wise? 80 00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:56,381 Okay, you can get the hell out of here, 81 00:02:56,506 --> 00:02:57,923 you fucking jug jockey. 82 00:02:58,427 --> 00:03:01,181 Go. 83 00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:05,224 Okay, who put this crap in here? 84 00:03:05,349 --> 00:03:06,892 Oh, it's not crap, it's actually stuff 85 00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:08,143 for our fish fry. 86 00:03:08,268 --> 00:03:10,929 We're gonna honor my Koi boys 87 00:03:11,054 --> 00:03:13,110 so, you know, they can be with me at all times. 88 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,433 It's a very tough time for me, and... 89 00:03:14,558 --> 00:03:15,817 he's goin' through some stuff. 90 00:03:15,942 --> 00:03:18,824 Yeah, just waterworks earlier, and... 91 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,723 okay, this kind of time-wasting bullshit 92 00:03:21,848 --> 00:03:23,609 Is exactly why you're gonna be working late 93 00:03:23,734 --> 00:03:24,893 the rest of the week. 94 00:03:25,018 --> 00:03:27,579 No fish fry. 95 00:03:27,704 --> 00:03:28,580 Wha... 96 00:03:34,327 --> 00:03:35,454 It's such a shame. 97 00:03:35,579 --> 00:03:37,506 I think Alice really liked that guy. 98 00:03:37,631 --> 00:03:39,508 That brain-dead water jockey? 99 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:41,638 He's basically like a roided-out version of me, 100 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,515 and I'm not roided out, Jillian. 101 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:45,681 I'm roided in. 102 00:03:45,806 --> 00:03:48,100 Oh, well, I don't think it was his brain 103 00:03:48,225 --> 00:03:50,564 she was attracted to, if you get my drift. 104 00:03:51,261 --> 00:03:54,189 - I don't. - Dick. 105 00:03:54,314 --> 00:03:55,902 Big ol' dick. 106 00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:57,559 Ooh. 107 00:03:57,684 --> 00:03:59,111 I'm not surprised. 108 00:03:59,236 --> 00:04:01,158 I always had Alice pegged as a size queen. 109 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,731 That's probably why she's always 110 00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:04,870 throwin' faces at me like... 111 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,329 Mm-mm, what? 112 00:04:06,495 --> 00:04:07,569 The size queens, they can smell 113 00:04:07,694 --> 00:04:09,288 my hog a mile away, baby. 114 00:04:09,413 --> 00:04:10,772 You don't want people to be able to smell your penis. 115 00:04:10,897 --> 00:04:12,374 Yeah, especially if they're Miles away. 116 00:04:12,499 --> 00:04:13,408 No, it doesn't stink. That's just like... 117 00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:14,543 it's a euphemism. 118 00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:16,078 Regardless of what you think, 119 00:04:16,203 --> 00:04:17,883 she's not gonna let us have this fish fry 120 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,831 'cause she's all twisted up down there, you know? 121 00:04:19,956 --> 00:04:21,887 Well, you know why Alice is so peeved, right? 122 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,681 'Cause the water boy took away her deep ****. 123 00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:28,006 So all I've gotta do is give her my **** deep, 124 00:04:28,131 --> 00:04:29,561 and she'll stop being such a k-word. 125 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,396 I think you mean c-word. 126 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,024 - Alice has cancer? - ****. 127 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,775 Alice has **** cancer? 128 00:04:35,941 --> 00:04:37,733 You know what? I'll still do it. 129 00:04:37,858 --> 00:04:39,267 - I don't care if I catch it. - Okay. 130 00:04:39,392 --> 00:04:40,906 Healing power of love, baby. 131 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,405 He is right, though. That could work. 132 00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:45,574 Yeah, what if we hire a gigolo 133 00:04:45,699 --> 00:04:48,160 to womp her ass gangnam style, right? 134 00:04:48,285 --> 00:04:49,956 Then, we'll be fryin' fish in no time. 135 00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:52,698 Oh, dude, nice. We know chicks. 136 00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:54,783 Yeah, well, we do know chicks. 137 00:04:54,908 --> 00:04:56,702 But I don't think we need to hire anyone... 138 00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:59,338 - No, we do. - Because I am packin' meat. 139 00:04:59,463 --> 00:05:01,623 Serious meat down here. It's like a whole deli platter. 140 00:05:01,748 --> 00:05:02,998 It's like rare cool meat. 141 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,493 It's like that one really long meat 142 00:05:05,618 --> 00:05:06,661 with like olives in it. 143 00:05:06,786 --> 00:05:07,974 - Hey, what is that called? - Dude. 144 00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,014 You don't wanna do that, man. 145 00:05:09,139 --> 00:05:10,432 You can't dip your pen 146 00:05:10,557 --> 00:05:12,062 in company stink, my brother. 147 00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:13,230 Pimento loaf. 148 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,519 Can we just all keep it real 149 00:05:14,644 --> 00:05:15,637 at the exact same moment here? 150 00:05:15,762 --> 00:05:16,972 You don't have a loaf, 151 00:05:17,097 --> 00:05:18,140 and that's exactly what she needs. 152 00:05:18,265 --> 00:05:19,725 All right, you wanna see it? 153 00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:21,009 You keep talkin' about it. You wanna see it? 154 00:05:21,134 --> 00:05:22,194 I don't wanna see it. 155 00:05:22,319 --> 00:05:24,146 But sure, what's up? 156 00:05:24,271 --> 00:05:25,230 You're warmin' it up too much. 157 00:05:25,355 --> 00:05:26,448 I don't wanna see it hard. 158 00:05:26,573 --> 00:05:28,650 I wanna see it soft. 159 00:05:28,775 --> 00:05:30,914 Come on. Oh. 160 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,459 Mm. 161 00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:38,410 Nah. 162 00:05:38,535 --> 00:05:40,048 - Okay, uh, Frank? - Yeah. 163 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:43,260 - Do you have a dick pic? - I do indeed. 164 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,719 - I'll take that. - Let's see it. 165 00:05:44,885 --> 00:05:46,668 Ooh, here we go. 166 00:05:46,793 --> 00:05:47,886 Oh, we'll take that. 167 00:05:48,011 --> 00:05:50,517 Oh, wow. That is a wonderful dong. 168 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,436 I am referred to as kind of a sabertooth, hybrid tiger. 169 00:05:53,602 --> 00:05:55,394 - That's what they all say. - Oh, holy smokes. 170 00:05:55,519 --> 00:05:57,545 It says here you had sex with a chick at Juilliard? 171 00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:59,985 - Ooh, impressive. - Not that impressive. 172 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,900 I've had sex with a girl named Julie in a yard. 173 00:06:02,025 --> 00:06:03,446 This is a stellar prick. 174 00:06:03,612 --> 00:06:05,687 And if it's wild, I'll grab it. 175 00:06:05,812 --> 00:06:07,200 Boom, Tarzan. 176 00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,911 Have you ever had sex with two women at once? 177 00:06:10,077 --> 00:06:11,913 - Yeah. - And have you ever buttfucked? 178 00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:13,612 - Yeah. - What you need to understand 179 00:06:13,737 --> 00:06:15,497 is that we know chicks. 180 00:06:15,622 --> 00:06:16,731 We know chicks. 181 00:06:16,856 --> 00:06:18,333 You obviously don't know chicks. 182 00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:20,902 I know chicks, okay? They like to be... 183 00:06:23,507 --> 00:06:25,207 Collectively, we've had sex 184 00:06:25,332 --> 00:06:27,676 with 17 different women. 185 00:06:27,801 --> 00:06:29,711 Six of those women are all mine, 186 00:06:29,836 --> 00:06:30,929 bagged and tagged. 187 00:06:31,054 --> 00:06:34,873 Yeah, double digits over here, so... 188 00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:38,437 - 11,000. - Uh, you know what? 189 00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:40,984 I can already tell that this isn't gonna be a great thing. 190 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,569 Thanks for comin' in, but no thanks 191 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,279 - 'cause we know chicks. - Wait, not you. 192 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,111 We'll let you know. 193 00:06:46,236 --> 00:06:48,450 And you're goin' for it, and you're goin' for it. 194 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,076 And then, you just figure-eight it. 195 00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:52,691 Well, today's been a whole waste of time. 196 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,152 Fine, I'll do it. 197 00:06:54,277 --> 00:06:56,621 I'll be the one that sexes Alice back to normal 198 00:06:56,746 --> 00:06:58,439 so Blake can have his fish fry. 199 00:06:58,564 --> 00:07:00,325 - I appreciate that, man, but... - I'm just a good friend. 200 00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:02,210 - We'll think of something. - I just said, "I'll do it." 201 00:07:02,335 --> 00:07:03,757 Is this the... hi. 202 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,497 Sorry, I'm late, I-the freeway is just 203 00:07:05,622 --> 00:07:06,631 a darn parking lot out there. 204 00:07:06,756 --> 00:07:07,761 Girthquake's the name. 205 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,450 Okay, um, what are you, 206 00:07:09,575 --> 00:07:11,670 fresh off your garbage route, Girthquake? 207 00:07:11,795 --> 00:07:13,255 'Cause he has a garbage bag. 208 00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:14,622 Oh. 209 00:07:14,747 --> 00:07:16,591 No, I-I just... I brought some outfits. 210 00:07:16,716 --> 00:07:18,477 I was a stripper, so I have a lot of different looks 211 00:07:18,602 --> 00:07:19,627 I can try out for you, and... 212 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,900 you're not even a pro. 213 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,068 Get lost. 214 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,111 The ad clearly stated 215 00:07:25,277 --> 00:07:27,822 professional man-whores only. 216 00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:29,771 Okay, I'm sorry to waste your time. 217 00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:31,273 It was stupid for me to come anyway. 218 00:07:31,398 --> 00:07:33,108 - Jesus. - Bye-bye. 219 00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:34,910 Have a good one. 220 00:07:35,035 --> 00:07:39,998 Oh, and, uh, you forgot your, uh... 221 00:07:40,123 --> 00:07:41,419 somebody call heaven. 222 00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:43,034 They're missin' an angel's dick. 223 00:07:43,159 --> 00:07:44,419 - Uh, Girthquake, wait. - Hey, buddy. 224 00:07:44,544 --> 00:07:45,486 - Hey... - whoa, oh, oh. 225 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,759 Do not leave. You got the job. 226 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,490 - What do you mean? How? - Your dick. 227 00:07:49,615 --> 00:07:51,793 It goes so far away from your body. 228 00:07:51,918 --> 00:07:53,628 - Holy cow. - Oh, my God. 229 00:07:53,753 --> 00:07:55,764 Thank you so much. Thank you. 230 00:07:55,889 --> 00:07:57,182 You... you won't regret this. 231 00:07:57,307 --> 00:07:59,979 You... you made a good decision. 232 00:08:00,145 --> 00:08:01,770 Are you kidding me right now? 233 00:08:01,895 --> 00:08:04,139 I'm way more of a gigolo than he is. 234 00:08:04,264 --> 00:08:06,007 When I was a kid, I was paid $5 235 00:08:06,132 --> 00:08:08,693 by an old man to poop in a pizza box. 236 00:08:08,818 --> 00:08:11,012 Now, that is gigolo-ing. 237 00:08:11,137 --> 00:08:12,450 Now, that is gigolo-ing! 238 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:19,991 {pub}Is it ready? 239 00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:21,460 Do you need to torque up or anything? 240 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:22,794 He's ready, though. He's ready. 241 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,337 Hey, pardon me, Jillian. 242 00:08:24,503 --> 00:08:28,341 I've got a milk delivery for miss Alice Murphy. 243 00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:30,085 Oh, I'm sorry, guys, she went 244 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,730 to happy hour at Billian's. 245 00:08:31,855 --> 00:08:33,012 Hey, that rhymes with my name. 246 00:08:33,178 --> 00:08:35,348 I never realized that before. 247 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:38,226 I should go there. 248 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:42,013 Shoot, uh, well, Girth, is there any chance 249 00:08:42,138 --> 00:08:44,274 you've ever picked a girl up at a bar? 250 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,935 - Yes, of course. - So have we, you know? 251 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,236 - 'Cause we know chicks, okay? - Yeah. 252 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,471 - So, uh, let's go. - All right. 253 00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:52,441 - To Billian's. - To... to the bar. 254 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,267 Are you serious? 255 00:08:54,521 --> 00:08:57,871 Do you believe in true love? 256 00:08:58,894 --> 00:09:00,623 Where is that comin' from? 257 00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:02,584 - Right over here. - Oh, hey, Adam. 258 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:03,798 - Do you? - Do I what? 259 00:09:03,923 --> 00:09:04,627 Believe in true love? 260 00:09:04,793 --> 00:09:07,727 - Well, I believe... - that is awesome. 261 00:09:07,852 --> 00:09:09,424 So you'll help me break into Alice's office 262 00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,294 so that she can finally see how much she true loves me, 263 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,733 and then I can re d-pipe her out 264 00:09:13,858 --> 00:09:14,804 before Girthquake does? 265 00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:17,056 Yes, I love playing Cupid. 266 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,085 It's a nice place. 267 00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:22,187 Oh, oh, oh. There she is. 268 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,897 - You ready? - Are you sure about this? 269 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,258 I mean, a milkman in a bar? 270 00:09:26,383 --> 00:09:28,333 I just feel like I'd be more comfortable in regular clothes. 271 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,820 Excuse me? I hope a milkman didn't hear you say that. 272 00:09:30,986 --> 00:09:33,015 Ders, will you make sure Alice stays put 273 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,616 while I help Girth change? 274 00:09:34,858 --> 00:09:38,010 Come on, hurry. But keep the boots. 275 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:48,755 Oh, my God. Hi. 276 00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,735 Okay, I'm on her YouTube history. 277 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,787 Uh, she's watched Andy Samberg's 278 00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:57,756 Dick In A Box 110 times. 279 00:09:57,881 --> 00:10:00,259 That makes sense. She's a comedy head, okay? 280 00:10:00,384 --> 00:10:02,628 'Cause I'm, like, a funny dude. 281 00:10:02,753 --> 00:10:04,513 - I am funny, Jillian. - Okay. 282 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,465 I'm basically like Andy Samberg 283 00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,750 like mixed with other funny people. 284 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,251 And Timberlake? 285 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,187 I'm only two inches shorter than that man. 286 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,089 He's like pretty small. What else? 287 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,058 - Uh, cat videos. - Yeah. 288 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:20,062 Uh, a lot of hockey fights, drum solos. 289 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,363 Dick In A Box, cat videos, 290 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,900 hockey fights, and drum solos. 291 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,569 I got it. 292 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,337 I'm gonna do dick in a box. 293 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,156 Oh, okay, but then like instead, 294 00:10:31,281 --> 00:10:32,607 there's a cat in the box. 295 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,242 And then, you take her to a hockey game? 296 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,094 No, I'm gonna... I'm doin' Dick In A Box. 297 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,221 Wait, are you gonna show up to her house just like that? 298 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:39,998 Mm, no, better to do it here 299 00:10:40,123 --> 00:10:41,282 'cause it's kinda where we met. 300 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:44,227 It's like more romantic, right? 301 00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:47,139 Yeah. 302 00:10:47,264 --> 00:10:49,424 I'm like a romantic dude, actually. 303 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:50,842 I'm just gonna sleep under her desk 304 00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:51,927 and surprise her in the morning 305 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,945 when my dick is the hardest. 306 00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,697 I need to find a man 307 00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,490 who is not afraid of commitment. 308 00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,300 You're going to. Are you kidding me? 309 00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:02,287 Alice, you are a dynamic, 310 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,022 independent business babe. 311 00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:06,165 You're like the Stephanie McMahon of Telamericorp. 312 00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:09,778 I'm on the wrong side of 35, Anders. 313 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,546 Clock's tickin'. 314 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:14,950 Come on. You're still... 315 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,419 You're still hot. 316 00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:19,679 I'm... I'm just saying. 317 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,306 Sorry. 318 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,824 All right. 319 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,209 - That's her, right? - Yeah. 320 00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:25,627 Okay. Are you sure? She looks kinda... 321 00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:26,962 horny. She's horny. They all are. 322 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:30,289 Come on, I know chicks. 323 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:35,778 Hi there, little lady. You expecting anyone? 324 00:11:35,944 --> 00:11:39,866 Oh, my gosh. Are you okay? 325 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:44,162 Stop talking. Show her your dick. 326 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,712 Uh, you okay there? 327 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,964 Yeah, I'm sorry. I... 328 00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:02,305 I'm sorry. I... okay. 329 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:03,389 Whoa. Whoa, whoa. 330 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:04,641 What... 331 00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:07,310 So are you around... from around here, or... 332 00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:08,895 what are you doing, you freak? 333 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:09,805 Get away from me. 334 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:10,889 Yeah, go pour your beer 335 00:12:11,014 --> 00:12:12,065 on someone else's penis. 336 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,441 What the... freaks out there. 337 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:14,593 They're crazy. 338 00:12:14,718 --> 00:12:16,051 I mean, if the guy was wearing 339 00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,529 like a milkman outfit, maybe, right? 340 00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:20,239 What was that? 341 00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:21,349 We took a chance on you in there, 342 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,700 and you fucked us. 343 00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,936 Sometimes, women respond more to conversation 344 00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:26,621 than just, you know, pullin' out your wang. 345 00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:29,357 You are talkin' like you know chicks, 346 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,209 and I am the one who knows chicks. 347 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,778 Please give me another chance. Please, please. 348 00:12:32,903 --> 00:12:34,062 I really... I won't mess it up. 349 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,081 - I promise. - Okay. 350 00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:37,916 Listen, you come with me. 351 00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:39,334 And we're gonna get that little head 352 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,552 screwed on straight so you can bang my boss, 353 00:12:42,212 --> 00:12:44,256 and I can have a fish fry to honor my friends. 354 00:12:44,381 --> 00:12:45,264 All right? You got it? 355 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,209 Got it. 356 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:50,520 Rob Koidry. Just say "sorry" to your buddy. 357 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,438 What? 358 00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:55,274 Oh, don't be shocked. It's just a fish. 359 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:58,736 Thanks for bringing me back here to get my keys. 360 00:12:58,902 --> 00:13:00,196 Sure, yeah. 361 00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:01,989 You know, you were actually kinda sweet tonight. 362 00:13:02,155 --> 00:13:03,950 I know, it just seemed like you could use a friend. 363 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,995 Oh. Uh, what are you... 364 00:13:08,161 --> 00:13:09,914 I could use a little bit more than that. 365 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,666 Like... wait, what do you mean? 366 00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,835 I wanna get my rocks off, stretch. 367 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,454 Okay, all right. 368 00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:16,988 Yeah, yeah, all right, let's... 369 00:13:17,113 --> 00:13:19,006 let's get our rocks off with our socks off. 370 00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:20,575 No, keep your socks on. 371 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,877 Pull your prick through your zipper, 372 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,378 and don't you dare kiss me. 373 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,464 Is... okay. 374 00:13:25,589 --> 00:13:27,582 Always knew this was gonna happen. 375 00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:30,385 What? Whoa. 376 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,019 Oh. 377 00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:34,021 I don't unders... don't bend it. 378 00:13:34,187 --> 00:13:36,023 Where are you? 379 00:13:36,189 --> 00:13:37,509 - I lost you. - Oh. 380 00:13:37,634 --> 00:13:39,177 Wait, what? It's in there. 381 00:13:39,302 --> 00:13:40,846 It's just you're not supposed to bend down. 382 00:13:40,971 --> 00:13:42,063 Ow! Oh, oh. 383 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:44,015 Jesus, you better add a finger. 384 00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,517 A little rub-a-dub on the outside. 385 00:13:45,642 --> 00:13:47,235 On the inside, little fella. 386 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,604 Okay, like that? 387 00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,289 - Make it two. Do it. - Okay. 388 00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:53,074 - Do something to me. - Okay. 389 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:54,743 Whoa. Okay. 390 00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,294 Is that awesome or what? 391 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,113 - That almost feels normal. - Yeah. 392 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,147 - All right, hang on. - Okay. 393 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:03,009 Oh... wait, no. 394 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:07,054 Oh, gah. That was, like, wow. 395 00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:09,040 Did you... you did too, right? 396 00:14:09,165 --> 00:14:11,459 Oh, whoa. 397 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,763 A little aftershock when you just pull away so fast. 398 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,014 Here, clean yourself off. 399 00:14:16,139 --> 00:14:19,217 And Anders, this didn't happen. 400 00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:21,861 - What didn't happen? - The sex we just had. 401 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,196 No, I know, we just did it. 402 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,489 No, we didn't. 403 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,841 Didn't what? 404 00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:29,786 I'm gonna go catch the bus. 405 00:15:06,257 --> 00:15:08,084 {pub}Ders! Hey. 406 00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:10,953 - Hey, you bitch-ass traitor. - Dude, what's on your dick? 407 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,171 It's a box. 408 00:15:12,296 --> 00:15:13,923 I cut a hole in a box. 409 00:15:14,048 --> 00:15:16,175 Step two, I superglued my dick in a box 410 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,727 'cause I was asleep in Alice's office 411 00:15:17,852 --> 00:15:19,262 ready to gift her my penis in the morning. 412 00:15:19,387 --> 00:15:20,763 "How 'bout you put an extra finger 413 00:15:20,888 --> 00:15:22,398 "in my **** because your penis is so small? 414 00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:23,673 - I need more." - Nope. 415 00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,018 You took a beautiful, pure flower, 416 00:15:26,143 --> 00:15:28,637 and turned her into a disgusting, whore flower. 417 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,072 - Excuse me? - Yeah. 418 00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,108 You better watch your tongue. 419 00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:34,016 You arprobabe talkin' about my future wife. 420 00:15:34,182 --> 00:15:35,945 I know how to settle this. 421 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:38,331 We fight to the death in the pool. 422 00:15:38,456 --> 00:15:39,647 It's a pool-mite! 423 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:40,983 I would love to fight to your death. 424 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,451 No, it's gonna be your death. 425 00:15:42,576 --> 00:15:43,870 Your death, buddy. 426 00:15:43,995 --> 00:15:46,205 Ho, ho, ho, your death, buddy. 427 00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:47,340 Be careful, I don't want you to die 428 00:15:47,465 --> 00:15:48,490 before we fight to your death. 429 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,509 It's gonna be your death. 430 00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:50,967 This is gonna get 431 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,911 my boss' basement flooded. 432 00:15:54,077 --> 00:15:55,746 Are you sure she's gonna want me to look like this? 433 00:15:55,912 --> 00:15:57,832 You don't wanna get me all worked up again, do you? 434 00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,333 That was a joke. I was joking. 435 00:15:59,499 --> 00:16:01,168 You wanna know why I picked you? 436 00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:03,754 'Cause you and I, we got the same problem. 437 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,474 - You have a big one too? - No... no. 438 00:16:05,599 --> 00:16:08,467 No, no, no, no, upwards of four times smaller. 439 00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:11,197 It's like the size of a little lego man. 440 00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:14,891 But you see, I'm walking hair. 441 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,309 People see me for my mop. 442 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,704 And I embrace that. It's fine. 443 00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:22,241 And you, you have this crazy-huge dong. 444 00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:24,275 You could tie it in a knot twice, 445 00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,412 and it would still be longer than what I've got. 446 00:16:26,537 --> 00:16:28,070 - Yeah. - That's you, man. 447 00:16:28,236 --> 00:16:29,298 I guess I always believed 448 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,666 that I was meant for something more 449 00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:32,301 than just my big package. 450 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,160 You're not, and that's a stupid attitude. 451 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:35,805 You're nothing but a walking, talking penis. 452 00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:36,973 That's pretty good lightin', right? 453 00:16:37,098 --> 00:16:38,581 Yeah, that's pretty good. 454 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,142 There's a little blind spot over there, though. 455 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,011 You know what? It might actually be better 456 00:16:42,136 --> 00:16:44,180 'cause the shadows will like play off our abs and stuff. 457 00:16:44,305 --> 00:16:45,481 That's true. Yeah, a little shadow play. 458 00:16:45,606 --> 00:16:47,266 - Oh, yeah. - Very good, very good. 459 00:16:47,391 --> 00:16:49,185 I'll look pretty cut when I'm knockin' you out. 460 00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:50,820 Knockin' me out? Are you kidding? 461 00:16:50,945 --> 00:16:52,553 We better empty our pockets, man. 462 00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:53,856 Good call. Very true. 463 00:16:53,981 --> 00:16:55,264 I don't wanna break my phone. 464 00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,193 Dude, if I land on my keys, yowza. 465 00:16:57,318 --> 00:17:00,363 - Very smart, very smart. - Oh, man. 466 00:17:00,488 --> 00:17:02,198 I like that case too. That's a cool new case. 467 00:17:02,323 --> 00:17:03,898 - That's fun. - Keep calm, bazinga. 468 00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,034 - Bazinga! - Whoa! 469 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,455 - Good knee. - Thanks. 470 00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:11,040 You did it to me earlier. 471 00:17:11,165 --> 00:17:13,593 That's how I got the idea to do it to you! 472 00:17:16,504 --> 00:17:18,496 - Ow. - You are so dead. 473 00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:26,689 - You had enough? - Yeah. 474 00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:28,172 You got me. 475 00:17:30,151 --> 00:17:31,968 You want some of this? 476 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,230 I'm gonna give you some. 477 00:17:34,355 --> 00:17:35,781 Give it to me, pal. 478 00:17:52,904 --> 00:17:54,000 Hey! Hey! 479 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,995 This is not... I said we needed a professional, man. 480 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,007 Come on. We are runnin' out of time. 481 00:18:01,132 --> 00:18:02,425 That's it, I'm gettin' outta here. 482 00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:04,010 You've lost your minds. Let's go, Girth. 483 00:18:04,135 --> 00:18:05,251 - Let's go. - My keys! 484 00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:25,146 {pub}What, ah... can I help you? 485 00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:31,178 "Wanna get railed to the max, trick?" 486 00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:33,154 Okay, what the hell is this, you creep? 487 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,882 All right, I knew that wasn't gonna work, I'm sorry. 488 00:18:35,007 --> 00:18:36,449 Put that helmet back on, you bitch! 489 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,367 Blake? 490 00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:39,920 What the hell are you doing here? 491 00:18:40,045 --> 00:18:41,805 You know this guy? 492 00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:42,997 Alice. 493 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,191 I can explain. 494 00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:47,361 Um, but first, I have to apologize 495 00:18:47,486 --> 00:18:48,595 for Girthquake here. 496 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,897 You know what? Let me just show you 497 00:18:50,022 --> 00:18:51,282 what all the hype's about, okay? 498 00:18:51,407 --> 00:18:52,407 Here, pull the tremor out your pants. 499 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:53,867 Whoa. No. 500 00:18:53,992 --> 00:18:55,619 You know, you gotta see the Girth-worm, baby. 501 00:18:55,744 --> 00:18:57,071 - I don't want to see it. - It's big. Where is it? 502 00:18:57,196 --> 00:18:59,096 - Is it on this side? - Blake, what is... 503 00:18:59,498 --> 00:19:01,075 Stop! No, no. 504 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,493 - Sorry. - Do not do that. 505 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:03,726 Pull it out, man! Come on! 506 00:19:07,206 --> 00:19:08,465 Show it right now. Show it, show it. 507 00:19:08,590 --> 00:19:11,901 - Oh, this is for bitches. - Come on, guys. 508 00:19:12,428 --> 00:19:15,923 What the hell is happening? Stop. 509 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:17,675 We just wanted an office fish fry 510 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,634 so that I could eat my fish friends, 511 00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,178 but you were in a bad mood. 512 00:19:21,303 --> 00:19:23,647 So we tried to hook you up with a dude, you know? 513 00:19:23,772 --> 00:19:25,039 And like this is the guy. 514 00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:27,208 I cannot believe you guys did this 515 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,435 for a fish fry. 516 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,645 Do you know how idiotic that is? 517 00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:32,906 I know I have been in a funk lately. 518 00:19:33,031 --> 00:19:36,944 I'm just having a rough time, you know, 519 00:19:37,069 --> 00:19:38,719 looking for love or whatever. 520 00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:40,748 - Is it your period? - And... and I'm on my period. 521 00:19:40,873 --> 00:19:42,199 - Oh. - Ew. 522 00:19:42,324 --> 00:19:43,917 Look, just please don't tell anyone 523 00:19:44,042 --> 00:19:46,227 at the office about any of this, okay? 524 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:49,146 - Any of what? - Don't, she won't even... 525 00:19:49,312 --> 00:19:50,940 I will let you have your fish fry. 526 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,960 - All right. - Yes! 527 00:19:53,085 --> 00:19:55,879 Whoo! 528 00:19:56,004 --> 00:19:57,297 It's a dick in a box, right? 529 00:19:57,422 --> 00:19:58,849 Yeah. Here, no, throw me... 530 00:19:58,974 --> 00:20:02,603 throw me in... throw me into the big wave. 531 00:20:02,728 --> 00:20:05,955 Hey. 532 00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:07,674 Wanna go inside and make some coffee? 533 00:20:07,799 --> 00:20:09,443 - Talk about it? - No. 534 00:20:09,568 --> 00:20:10,944 You're a hooker. 535 00:20:11,069 --> 00:20:14,713 Go slang your dick on someone else's corner. 536 00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:16,450 A fish fry! A fish fry! 537 00:20:16,575 --> 00:20:20,738 - It's a fish fry, y'all. - Yeah, baby, fish fry. 538 00:20:20,863 --> 00:20:23,848 - Oh. - Where are my friends? 539 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,142 Are you talkin' about them nasty-ass Koi fish? 540 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,661 I threw them suckers in the garbage. 541 00:20:27,786 --> 00:20:30,146 They was rotten. You should thank me. 542 00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,632 Thank you? 543 00:20:31,757 --> 00:20:34,034 Thanks to you, we've got a fryer... 544 00:20:34,159 --> 00:20:35,568 - Hey, hey. - And no fish. 545 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:36,887 Hey, did you... what about bagels? 546 00:20:37,012 --> 00:20:38,612 Did you ever have any bagel friends? 547 00:20:38,778 --> 00:20:41,675 We could fry some bagels. It's the same thing. 548 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,544 - Huh? - No, I got a better idea. 549 00:20:44,669 --> 00:20:45,995 I thought a bagel... well. 550 00:20:48,246 --> 00:20:49,883 Aw, hell no. 551 00:20:50,008 --> 00:20:52,501 This some Jim and Dwight bullshit. 552 00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,378 Did these two just did this? 553 00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:58,382 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 554 00:20:58,432 --> 00:21:02,982 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39196

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