Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,651 --> 00:00:07,923
Yeah, okay.
This is scary.
2
00:00:08,048 --> 00:00:09,969
It's a scary movie.
Right.
3
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,160
Shh! It's not over, okay?
4
00:00:11,285 --> 00:00:13,261
There's gonna be one last scare.
5
00:00:14,788 --> 00:00:16,331
Aah!
6
00:00:16,456 --> 00:00:17,800
Told you.
7
00:00:17,925 --> 00:00:19,467
- Guys, making it worse, man.
- I know, man.
8
00:00:19,592 --> 00:00:20,736
What did I say, though?
9
00:00:20,861 --> 00:00:21,870
This is a good one, it's good.
10
00:00:21,995 --> 00:00:23,072
Thought I had to dump out.
11
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:24,940
- Turns out I didn't.
- Okay.
12
00:00:25,065 --> 00:00:26,444
Bowels were playing tricks
on me, so...
13
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,276
Adam, just go to bed, all right?
14
00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:29,477
We get it, you're spooked.
15
00:00:29,602 --> 00:00:30,612
You haven't slept since we started
16
00:00:30,737 --> 00:00:32,214
this non-Wayans' brother
17
00:00:32,339 --> 00:00:34,434
actually scary
scary-movie marathon on Friday.
18
00:00:34,559 --> 00:00:36,618
Why don't we go to bed,
because we got
19
00:00:36,743 --> 00:00:38,581
a super moon that we want
to be well-rested for tomorrow.
20
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:41,584
And it's gonna be super,
so let's hit it.
21
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,335
Hey, you hit it, I'm gonna yank it.
22
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,127
Either way,
we're probably masturbating,
23
00:00:45,252 --> 00:00:48,097
but we're roommates,
so that's just the way it goes.
24
00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:51,033
Okay, yeah,
I'm also gonna go to bed soon.
25
00:00:51,158 --> 00:00:53,345
I'll probably be laughing myself
to sleep
26
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:54,937
at how dumb and irr...
27
00:00:55,062 --> 00:00:57,672
irresponsible these movies are
to teenagers.
28
00:00:57,797 --> 00:00:59,108
'cause they're gonna think
that they could fall asleep
29
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,308
and get a knife finger up their butt
30
00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:02,010
when, in reality,
31
00:01:02,135 --> 00:01:03,772
that's not even something
that could actually happen,
32
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,047
I don't think.
33
00:01:10,844 --> 00:01:12,587
34
00:01:12,712 --> 00:01:15,157
some dumb humans make
a mutant spiral laser blast
35
00:01:15,282 --> 00:01:17,059
feasting on the flesh
of freshman students
36
00:01:17,184 --> 00:01:18,160
on their way to class
37
00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:19,995
zombies
38
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,496
We got zombies on a school day...
39
00:01:21,621 --> 00:01:23,375
40
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:26,020
horrifying horrible
zombie mastication scenes
41
00:01:26,145 --> 00:01:28,270
slowly moving mandibles
chewing on a frigging teen
42
00:01:28,395 --> 00:01:31,273
zombies
43
00:01:31,398 --> 00:01:33,552
44
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:35,310
I don't know, he wasn't in his room.
45
00:01:35,435 --> 00:01:38,546
Dude, he's probably passed out
on the couch still.
46
00:01:38,671 --> 00:01:41,383
Hey!
47
00:01:41,508 --> 00:01:42,951
Adam?
48
00:01:43,076 --> 00:01:45,921
Ready for work?
Whoo!
49
00:01:46,046 --> 00:01:47,122
I'm ready for work.
Let's do this!
50
00:01:47,247 --> 00:01:50,027
Whoo!
Whoo!
51
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:57,660
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
52
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,040
I slept like a log last night, dude.
53
00:02:05,165 --> 00:02:06,241
So awake.
54
00:02:06,366 --> 00:02:07,475
So awake right now.
55
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,678
Living life
56
00:02:09,803 --> 00:02:11,746
Know what I'm saying?
What'd you say?
57
00:02:11,871 --> 00:02:13,015
I didn't say anything.
58
00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:14,749
Yeah, totally.
No, I hear that.
59
00:02:14,874 --> 00:02:16,885
Let's talk super moon, my lunar-tics.
60
00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:19,421
I'm thinking we could block off,
like, five hours and...
61
00:02:19,546 --> 00:02:22,324
- five hours?
- Good call.
62
00:02:22,449 --> 00:02:24,326
I was thinking six myself, just to...
63
00:02:24,451 --> 00:02:25,493
Really take it in.
64
00:02:25,618 --> 00:02:27,262
- I'm excited.
- All right.
65
00:02:27,387 --> 00:02:29,131
Well, I'm very excited
to take it in as well.
66
00:02:29,256 --> 00:02:30,901
I read on a website last night,
67
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,601
that, uh, the super moon
is a catalyst
68
00:02:33,726 --> 00:02:35,070
for paranormal activity.
69
00:02:35,195 --> 00:02:36,532
And then I read on another website
70
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,740
that a catalyst is, like,
71
00:02:38,865 --> 00:02:40,703
a way of saying
that it, like, helps it.
72
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,204
Yeah, no, it is.
I was supposed to see the last one.
73
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:43,478
But I got adult chicken pox
74
00:02:43,603 --> 00:02:45,680
and was stuck in a bathtub all
night with instant oatmeal.
75
00:02:45,805 --> 00:02:47,126
- Apple-cinnamon?
- I wish.
76
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,218
Raisins and spice.
77
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:51,028
But, this year,
I'm gonna flex on this moon.
78
00:02:51,153 --> 00:02:52,429
Check it out.
79
00:02:52,554 --> 00:02:54,492
Got a tablet computer
with a moon-tracker app.
80
00:02:54,617 --> 00:02:55,968
Totally state of the art.
And...
81
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,792
A Rob Huebel telescope,
82
00:02:57,917 --> 00:02:59,847
so I can peep the cheese.
83
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:00,863
See, check it out.
84
00:03:00,988 --> 00:03:02,130
Right here, wiki says,
85
00:03:02,255 --> 00:03:03,798
"thousands of unsolved child murders,
86
00:03:03,923 --> 00:03:04,935
every super moon."
87
00:03:05,192 --> 00:03:06,701
Even worse than what he just said,
88
00:03:06,826 --> 00:03:09,371
it says,
"dogs suck each other's magic sticks."
89
00:03:09,496 --> 00:03:11,273
- What the...
- Okay, stop it.
90
00:03:11,398 --> 00:03:13,075
It's not saying those things.
You're making 'em up.
91
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,309
It does say it.
It's Wikipedia.
92
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:15,677
It says very important information.
93
00:03:15,802 --> 00:03:17,031
- No. Does not.
- Said that.
94
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,113
You guys need to start appreciating
95
00:03:18,238 --> 00:03:19,614
the world's natural wonders.
96
00:03:19,739 --> 00:03:20,815
I mean, it's gonna be
97
00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:22,317
like seeing the redwoods
or old faithful
98
00:03:22,442 --> 00:03:23,662
or that old rock we found
that looked like a boob.
99
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,254
Actually still have that rock.
100
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,688
I wish it were softer.
101
00:03:26,813 --> 00:03:28,090
Why?
102
00:03:28,215 --> 00:03:30,586
So I could fuck it, Anders.
103
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,087
All right, Ders,
you're not understanding.
104
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,196
You keep talking
about natural things.
105
00:03:34,321 --> 00:03:35,799
But I'm talking
about supernatural, guys.
106
00:03:36,023 --> 00:03:38,233
There's gonna be some stuff
that happens tonight
107
00:03:38,358 --> 00:03:39,301
that never happens!
108
00:03:39,426 --> 00:03:40,763
Like maybe the dead will rise
109
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,470
or, like, the earth will
start on fire or something.
110
00:03:42,595 --> 00:03:43,738
Or you'll, like, have sex with a girl
111
00:03:43,863 --> 00:03:44,873
for the first time.
112
00:03:44,998 --> 00:03:46,942
Oh, wow!
113
00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:51,190
Because your penis
is in use so much, Anders!
114
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,348
You're not having sex as much as...
115
00:03:53,473 --> 00:03:54,693
We're tied for zero, basically.
116
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:58,753
- Hey, guys.
- Oh! Mm!
117
00:03:58,878 --> 00:04:01,116
I'm not scared.
Ders is though.
118
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,058
He's in hysterics.
What a punk!
119
00:04:03,183 --> 00:04:04,995
I'm not scared.
120
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,996
So I bet you guys are, uh, wondering
what all the renovations are about.
121
00:04:08,121 --> 00:04:09,416
- Nope.
- Not at all.
122
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,066
Well, the crew cleared out
the basement,
123
00:04:11,191 --> 00:04:13,087
and there's some
pretty nifty items up for grabs.
124
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,966
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
125
00:04:21,944 --> 00:04:25,113
I fucking love tits, you guys.
126
00:04:25,238 --> 00:04:26,448
Does it come in black?
127
00:04:26,573 --> 00:04:27,601
Ink?
128
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,617
Oh-ho, jackpot.
129
00:04:29,742 --> 00:04:31,188
Let me know, my man.
130
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,564
You think this
is gonna make chicks wanna see
131
00:04:32,812 --> 00:04:34,122
my big bang theory?
132
00:04:35,515 --> 00:04:36,693
Check this out.
133
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,427
I used to have one of these as a kid.
134
00:04:38,552 --> 00:04:41,263
Hatchet. Except
for not the weapon, the book.
135
00:04:41,388 --> 00:04:43,698
'cause my aunt gave
Gary Paulsen a handjob,
136
00:04:43,823 --> 00:04:45,327
and he gave us, like,
a ton of free books.
137
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,704
All right, I feel like
you're making this stuff up now.
138
00:04:48,395 --> 00:04:49,404
No.
139
00:04:49,529 --> 00:04:50,605
My aunt is a whore.
140
00:04:50,730 --> 00:04:52,084
She works in Las Vegas.
141
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,942
Oh, Bill, that's an office supply.
142
00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:54,795
It stays in the office.
143
00:04:55,034 --> 00:04:56,578
I need to cut more fliers.
144
00:04:56,703 --> 00:04:59,114
I'm starting a babysitting service.
145
00:04:59,239 --> 00:05:00,748
Children are my passion.
146
00:05:00,873 --> 00:05:03,651
Okay, you can't say the words
"children" and "passion"
147
00:05:03,776 --> 00:05:05,764
and have your face.
148
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,638
Whoa.
149
00:05:07,763 --> 00:05:09,151
Dudes, check it out!
150
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:10,225
Cool flask.
151
00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:12,354
- All right.
- Nice!
152
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,231
I know what we can put in there.
153
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,931
- Dr Pepper Ten.
- It's for men.
154
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:19,484
Kids... I mean, kids can drink whatever,
as far as I'm concerned.
155
00:05:19,609 --> 00:05:20,668
That's the thing.
156
00:05:20,793 --> 00:05:22,502
When you're a kid,
you have a lot of options.
157
00:05:22,627 --> 00:05:24,739
As a man, who wants
to drink a soda...
158
00:05:24,864 --> 00:05:29,444
Check out this painting
of this gnar old man.
159
00:05:29,569 --> 00:05:32,947
Whoa. That dude looks
just like my grandpa.
160
00:05:33,072 --> 00:05:35,485
I hate my grandpa.
161
00:05:35,610 --> 00:05:37,212
He's such a fucking tool.
162
00:05:42,249 --> 00:05:44,159
Whoa!
163
00:05:44,284 --> 00:05:45,960
Everywhere you stand,
164
00:05:46,085 --> 00:05:48,363
Dr. Telamericorp's eyes follow you.
165
00:05:48,488 --> 00:05:51,299
Mm, I'm up.
166
00:05:51,424 --> 00:05:52,967
Mm...
167
00:05:53,092 --> 00:05:54,036
Ooh.
168
00:05:54,161 --> 00:05:56,356
Oh, not so fast, sweetheart.
169
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,624
Read the can.
DP Ten.
170
00:05:58,749 --> 00:05:59,776
Not for women.
171
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,738
- Hey, Jillian, sweetheart.
- Hmm?
172
00:06:02,969 --> 00:06:03,912
Is it possible for a painting
173
00:06:04,037 --> 00:06:04,907
to have homosexual tendencies?
174
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,415
Of course, why?
175
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,050
- Oh, this guy keeps...
- Oh, no.
176
00:06:08,175 --> 00:06:09,817
Where did you find that?
177
00:06:09,942 --> 00:06:10,871
Jillian.
178
00:06:11,211 --> 00:06:13,582
What the fuck is this doing in here?
179
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:14,556
I don't know.
I threw it out.
180
00:06:14,681 --> 00:06:16,919
But I guess it came back.
181
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,314
Paintings don't "come back."
182
00:06:18,439 --> 00:06:21,297
Yeah, but can...
can they come out? Like, of the closet?
183
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:23,675
- Can they be gay?
- Just please get rid of it.
184
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:27,602
I don't ever want
to see that portrait again.
185
00:06:27,727 --> 00:06:29,514
- Yep.
- What's up with Alice? Huh?
186
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,891
Who's this guy?
187
00:06:31,130 --> 00:06:33,641
He's a very bad man
who used to work here.
188
00:06:33,766 --> 00:06:35,410
And he's gone,
and he's never coming back.
189
00:06:35,535 --> 00:06:36,647
W-w-wait.
190
00:06:36,969 --> 00:06:38,523
W-what do you mean, he's a "bad man"?
191
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:39,914
I shouldn't say.
192
00:06:40,039 --> 00:06:41,443
Blake, just stop asking questions.
193
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:42,917
Hey, hey.
194
00:06:43,042 --> 00:06:44,619
What's the deal?
195
00:06:44,744 --> 00:06:47,658
Did he murder somebody?
196
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,158
Jillian!
Oh, my gosh.
197
00:06:50,283 --> 00:06:52,287
That dude died here, huh?
198
00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:53,828
Jillian.
199
00:06:53,953 --> 00:06:55,290
Jillian, hey, come on.
You're acting weird.
200
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,466
Blake, this man is not
to be spoken of.
201
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:58,752
Hey, why are you acting
so weird, huh?
202
00:06:58,918 --> 00:06:59,920
What's the deal?
203
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,172
This guy kill some kids
in the basement or something?
204
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,091
Just drop it!
I've already said too much!
205
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,425
All right, give me the painting.
206
00:07:05,665 --> 00:07:07,633
No, no. Drop it!
207
00:07:10,103 --> 00:07:13,982
Okay, that was the renovations.
208
00:07:14,107 --> 00:07:15,550
Or was it?
209
00:07:15,675 --> 00:07:17,619
Uh, hey, guys, yeah,
sorry about the lights.
210
00:07:17,744 --> 00:07:19,398
It was the renovations.
211
00:07:19,646 --> 00:07:22,567
Or was it?
212
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:25,160
Are you asking me?
213
00:07:25,285 --> 00:07:27,155
It was.
214
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:28,296
- Okay.
- Oh.
215
00:07:28,421 --> 00:07:29,533
- Okay.
- Yeah.
216
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,049
{pub}All right, who is ready to ride?
217
00:07:38,174 --> 00:07:40,284
It is just about super moon time.
218
00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:41,986
Oh, man, I am sorry.
219
00:07:42,111 --> 00:07:44,673
I have work to do here.
I can't go with you, buddy.
220
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,492
- What are you talking about?
- Ders, you naive little nerd.
221
00:07:47,617 --> 00:07:49,927
Come on, we just unearthed
the portrait
222
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,997
of an infamous child murderer,
Dr. Telamericorp,
223
00:07:53,122 --> 00:07:55,309
on the same exact night
as a super moon?
224
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,394
I'm gonna go ahead
and file that under
225
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,605
"things that Blake
wants to check out tonight."
226
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,340
Yeah, right.
227
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:04,375
Like there's ghosts in the office.
228
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,611
Like ghosts are just
flying all o... whoa-ho!
229
00:08:07,736 --> 00:08:09,489
That's... Bill.
230
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,491
What up, dog?
231
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,451
- What's up, homies?
- Yo.
232
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,579
Of course it's not a ghost.
Ghosts don't exist.
233
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,788
Now, can we please
just gather ourselves?
234
00:08:17,913 --> 00:08:19,524
We can go up to the roof
and watch the super moon.
235
00:08:19,649 --> 00:08:20,991
All right, you know what?
Take Adam with you.
236
00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:22,377
It's fine.
He's too scared anyways.
237
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:23,661
The, uh, the spirits,
they feed off fear.
238
00:08:23,786 --> 00:08:24,728
Okay, let's go.
239
00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:25,684
Yeah, he's like a little
240
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,322
all-you-can-eat buffet over there.
241
00:08:27,447 --> 00:08:29,434
Fuck you!
242
00:08:29,559 --> 00:08:31,887
Fuck you, dude!
243
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,171
- Ders.
- Yeah?
244
00:08:33,296 --> 00:08:34,905
- Go do your nerd stuff.
- What?
245
00:08:35,030 --> 00:08:36,507
'cause I have something
to prove to this idiot.
246
00:08:36,632 --> 00:08:38,543
Okay, no more HBO for you.
247
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:39,977
You are cussing way too much lately.
248
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,679
You deserve this.
You deserve each other.
249
00:08:41,804 --> 00:08:43,781
Well, I'm gonna go watch
the super moon by myself!
250
00:08:43,906 --> 00:08:46,484
And you're gonna be
super sorry about it, okay?
251
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,552
Move your cart.
252
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:49,657
This old fart cart of farts.
253
00:08:49,782 --> 00:08:51,656
All right, hey, so are you
sure you're ready, huh?
254
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:54,625
I'm not just sure...
255
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:58,028
I'm HIV-positive.
256
00:08:58,153 --> 00:08:59,363
But y-you're not though, right?
257
00:08:59,488 --> 00:09:00,664
- I'm not what?
- HIV-positive.
258
00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:01,833
You just said you're HIV-positive.
259
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:03,067
No, I did not mean to say that.
260
00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:06,036
- Okay. Okay.
- Very tired.
261
00:09:06,161 --> 00:09:07,905
You've got a weird amount of candles.
262
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:09,407
Shh!
263
00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:10,708
Sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry.
264
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:12,743
It's all right.
265
00:09:12,868 --> 00:09:14,212
The phantomspotter app
266
00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:16,547
detects electromagnetic frequencies.
267
00:09:16,672 --> 00:09:17,615
- Really?
- Yes.
268
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,017
Heavy concentrations
269
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:22,144
indicate supernatural activity.
270
00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:24,856
Oh, but look at this!
271
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,391
I'm getting a reading
of five black cats
272
00:09:27,516 --> 00:09:29,653
right by the chair
where Homegirl died.
273
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,553
- Who?
- Homegirl.
274
00:09:31,678 --> 00:09:32,656
She... she worked here.
275
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,615
You pulled your testicles out,
276
00:09:34,781 --> 00:09:36,451
put 'em on her forehead,
then she passed away.
277
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,203
Oh, yeah.
Really nice black lady?
278
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,665
No. Quite the opposite.
Very mean white lady.
279
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,917
I don't think I was here
that day then.
280
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,584
What? Yes.
You put your balls on her head.
281
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:46,944
OK... well, I do that to people.
282
00:09:49,405 --> 00:09:52,540
What was that?
283
00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:04,362
Oh, my gosh, it's all true.
284
00:10:04,487 --> 00:10:07,131
Tens of thousands of child murders.
285
00:10:07,256 --> 00:10:10,501
Dogs sucking each other's
magic sticks.
286
00:10:10,626 --> 00:10:11,469
Rahh!
287
00:10:12,628 --> 00:10:13,696
Oh!
288
00:10:13,862 --> 00:10:15,739
- Oh! Kill him! Kill him!
- Die, ghost!
289
00:10:15,905 --> 00:10:17,242
- Kill him! Kill him!
- Oh, die!
290
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,702
- Die ghost! Die!
- Stop!
291
00:10:19,868 --> 00:10:21,204
Oh, I'm punching Ders.
292
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:22,663
- Dude, stop!
- Oh, that was Ders.
293
00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:24,114
Oh, God.
294
00:10:24,239 --> 00:10:25,483
Oh, man, I didn't know it was you...
295
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:27,485
till I did.
I actually did at the end.
296
00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:29,820
I mean, you get into
some sort of street brawl,
297
00:10:29,945 --> 00:10:31,689
I have... I have no fear
when it comes to fighting.
298
00:10:31,814 --> 00:10:32,956
You guys are idiots.
299
00:10:33,081 --> 00:10:34,259
Well, what the freakin' eff, Ders?
300
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,394
Scared the s-s-shoot out of us.
301
00:10:36,519 --> 00:10:37,679
I found the painting in the garbage
302
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,263
and I thought I'd freak you out.
303
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,141
- And you hit me.
- Oh, that wasn't good, man.
304
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,601
I'm on, like,
285 hours of energy right now.
305
00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:45,035
What is this?
306
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,237
That's barbeque sauce.
Very clever, dude.
307
00:10:46,362 --> 00:10:47,480
- I know.
- Very clever, man.
308
00:10:47,697 --> 00:10:49,273
Doll's clothes from the basement.
309
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,809
God, I... it's actually awesome
that I got you guys,
310
00:10:51,934 --> 00:10:53,578
but then you...
can we just please
311
00:10:53,703 --> 00:10:55,346
go to the roof...
312
00:10:55,471 --> 00:10:57,042
And gaze at the super moon already?
313
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:58,048
I guess.
314
00:11:00,509 --> 00:11:01,369
Ders?
315
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:02,913
That wasn't me.
316
00:11:03,145 --> 00:11:04,322
Oh, my gosh.
317
00:11:04,447 --> 00:11:05,856
When Adam punched through
that portrait
318
00:11:05,981 --> 00:11:07,491
of Dr. Telamericorp,
319
00:11:07,616 --> 00:11:10,086
he broke whatever supernatural
seal was keeping him in.
320
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,504
- What?
- Yeah.
321
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,565
And now we're the only ones
that can put him back.
322
00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:17,167
- Come on!
- Come on, now, w... hey!
323
00:11:17,292 --> 00:11:18,345
- Oh, my God!
- Whoa.
324
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,537
The devil's in the machine!
325
00:11:19,662 --> 00:11:20,931
It's gone pure black!
326
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,340
It's not on.
327
00:11:22,465 --> 00:11:23,741
- Huh?
- It's sleeping.
328
00:11:23,866 --> 00:11:24,742
You just gotta hit
the thing on the back.
329
00:11:24,867 --> 00:11:26,110
- Sleep...
- Yeah.
330
00:11:26,235 --> 00:11:27,511
This thing's actually cool, man.
331
00:11:27,636 --> 00:11:29,231
- Have you checked out the user interface?
- Oh!
332
00:11:39,187 --> 00:11:41,431
{pub}- Shh! Shh!
- Dude, what are you doing?
333
00:11:41,556 --> 00:11:43,366
- Quiet, quiet, quiet.
- Oh, dear.
334
00:11:43,491 --> 00:11:45,335
Those were Montez's speakers.
335
00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:47,838
- Whatever.
- Shh, guys...
336
00:11:47,963 --> 00:11:50,240
This thing is really humming.
337
00:11:50,365 --> 00:11:53,087
There is a lot of activity down here.
338
00:11:53,253 --> 00:11:54,277
Look, dudes.
Dudes, dudes, dudes!
339
00:11:55,403 --> 00:11:56,674
Dr. Telamericorp!
340
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:57,914
He's crossed over
into the physical world!
341
00:11:58,039 --> 00:11:59,015
It's only a matter of time
342
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:00,083
before he finds a human host!
343
00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:01,384
- What?
- Okay. Yep.
344
00:12:01,509 --> 00:12:03,890
You're not gonna get me twice, Ders.
345
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,757
I think I know barbeque sauce
when I see it.
346
00:12:06,882 --> 00:12:07,852
Now.
This time I do.
347
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,492
Adam, no.
I didn't...
348
00:12:09,617 --> 00:12:11,995
that's not barbeque s...!
349
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,766
- That's not barbeque sauce.
- No.
350
00:12:15,891 --> 00:12:17,028
I think that's blood.
351
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:18,905
I think it's blood.
352
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,949
- Okay, so, I know that this is blood.
- Wait, stop it!
353
00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:23,240
Don't!
354
00:12:23,365 --> 00:12:24,440
And it tastes exactly like that!
355
00:12:24,565 --> 00:12:25,842
That is blood!
That is blood!
356
00:12:25,967 --> 00:12:27,372
I am HIV-positive!
357
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,012
- What did you...
- No, I'm saying it this time!
358
00:12:29,137 --> 00:12:31,081
- I think I'm HIV-positive.
- Can you feel it?
359
00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:32,752
That's how...
that's how you get HIV!
360
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,484
You get it by tasting
strange blood on the ground!
361
00:12:34,609 --> 00:12:35,886
- Yes.
- We have to make you a quilt!
362
00:12:36,011 --> 00:12:36,987
We have to make him a quilt.
363
00:12:38,146 --> 00:12:39,187
- What was that?
- Oh, God.
364
00:12:39,312 --> 00:12:41,224
Dr. Telamericorp.
He's looking for a host.
365
00:12:41,349 --> 00:12:42,358
We don't have en...
no time!
366
00:12:42,483 --> 00:12:43,555
We've got no time!
367
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:44,694
So you know who we have to call.
368
00:12:44,819 --> 00:12:45,695
We gotta call the cops, man.
369
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:46,696
There's blood everywhere.
370
00:12:46,821 --> 00:12:47,898
I'm calling the cops.
371
00:12:48,023 --> 00:12:49,811
I was thinking the gh... never mind.
372
00:12:50,191 --> 00:12:51,401
I know a satanic ritual
373
00:12:51,526 --> 00:12:54,771
that'll send his spirit back to hell.
374
00:12:54,896 --> 00:12:56,406
You know a satanic ritual?
375
00:12:56,531 --> 00:12:58,708
It's a... h-hell way?
376
00:12:58,833 --> 00:13:02,369
Okay, well, I think I'm gonna
go to the little boy's room.
377
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,948
Not because I'm a little boy
who's scared,
378
00:13:05,073 --> 00:13:06,661
but because I'm a little man
who ate too many tacos.
379
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:07,984
- So I'm gonna go...
- Wait, dude...
380
00:13:08,109 --> 00:13:09,539
gotta... gotta poo.
381
00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:10,887
All right, man.
What are... what are we doing?
382
00:13:11,012 --> 00:13:12,708
What are we doing?
Tell me what to do.
383
00:13:12,948 --> 00:13:14,836
We need a sacrifice.
384
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,897
Come on, Demamp!
385
00:13:21,022 --> 00:13:22,699
Pull yourself together.
386
00:13:22,824 --> 00:13:24,434
You taught yourself Spanish,
387
00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:26,402
you can make it
through this, "muchaycho."
388
00:13:48,216 --> 00:13:50,789
Okay, let's see what we got in here.
389
00:13:51,019 --> 00:13:52,295
Uh, yogurt, hummus,
390
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:54,250
purple stuff, sunny d.
391
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,932
The ritual calls for the flesh
392
00:13:56,057 --> 00:13:57,253
of thy untouched beast.
393
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,421
Um, oh.
394
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,131
Montez's ground hamburger beef?
395
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,671
- Perfect.
- All right.
396
00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:03,139
Let's bring this meatloaf
to meat life.
397
00:14:03,264 --> 00:14:04,135
Let's do it.
398
00:14:06,334 --> 00:14:07,610
Who's in here, huh?
399
00:14:07,735 --> 00:14:08,711
Huh?
400
00:14:08,836 --> 00:14:10,213
You comin' at me?
401
00:14:10,338 --> 00:14:11,882
I ain't scared of no ghost.
402
00:14:12,007 --> 00:14:13,049
I'm not scared of you!
403
00:14:13,174 --> 00:14:16,253
Who did that?
Who did that?
404
00:14:17,578 --> 00:14:18,554
We've already said too much!
405
00:14:20,315 --> 00:14:22,125
What?
406
00:14:24,785 --> 00:14:26,907
I'm the main office prankster.
Did you miss me?
407
00:14:27,073 --> 00:14:27,992
I tea-bagged your dead body.
408
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,065
Ooh.
409
00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:34,204
What is happening to me?!
410
00:14:37,499 --> 00:14:40,310
Dr. Telamericorp.
411
00:14:40,435 --> 00:14:41,840
Oh, no.
412
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,505
You want me to kill Montez,
don't you?
413
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:47,053
That's what you're doing here, huh?
414
00:14:48,676 --> 00:14:50,515
You know what?
I'll do it.
415
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:54,791
I'm here to help you sleep.
416
00:14:54,916 --> 00:14:57,160
But you can't fall asleep
417
00:14:57,285 --> 00:15:00,196
until you silence the music.
418
00:15:00,321 --> 00:15:04,028
Let no one stand in your way.
419
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,568
Why me?
420
00:15:05,693 --> 00:15:08,741
Because, you're a strong boy, Adam.
421
00:15:10,631 --> 00:15:11,942
Mm-hmm.
422
00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:15,039
Strong little boy.
423
00:15:16,871 --> 00:15:19,961
Strong little boy.
424
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:24,687
Oh, yeah.
Sweet meat fetus, dude.
425
00:15:24,812 --> 00:15:26,389
- Thank you.
- Looks real as hell.
426
00:15:26,514 --> 00:15:27,457
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
427
00:15:27,582 --> 00:15:28,858
Yeah, if you could, uh,
428
00:15:28,983 --> 00:15:31,061
just, like, stand him up
and make him look alive.
429
00:15:31,186 --> 00:15:32,528
Yeah. That should not
be a problem, dude.
430
00:15:32,653 --> 00:15:34,130
I used to stand up
armies of action figures
431
00:15:34,255 --> 00:15:35,465
against each other.
432
00:15:35,590 --> 00:15:37,367
- Do these, like, cool wars.
- Great, great.
433
00:15:37,492 --> 00:15:38,768
- There we go.
- That's a cool story.
434
00:15:38,893 --> 00:15:40,437
Thanks.
Okay. All right, you know what?
435
00:15:40,562 --> 00:15:42,272
Sorry, I used to have
the same problem when I would
436
00:15:42,397 --> 00:15:43,874
stand those action figures up
against each other for wars.
437
00:15:43,999 --> 00:15:45,528
Whatever, that's fine...
I'm sure Satan doesn't really care.
438
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,822
Here we go.
439
00:15:49,804 --> 00:15:53,549
- Spirit of Dr. Telamericorp!
- Yeah.
440
00:15:53,674 --> 00:15:56,987
Please accept this humble sacrifice
441
00:15:57,112 --> 00:16:01,391
of a live, super moonwalking...
442
00:16:01,516 --> 00:16:07,097
Ginger beef man!
443
00:16:07,222 --> 00:16:09,265
Have a namaste.
Amen.
444
00:16:09,390 --> 00:16:11,971
Silence the music.
445
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,970
A-Adam, what...
what...
446
00:16:14,095 --> 00:16:15,349
what's up?
What's wrong?
447
00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:16,976
Yeah, Adam, you love pure moods.
448
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:20,877
Dr. Telamericorp spoke to me.
449
00:16:21,002 --> 00:16:23,983
And he wants you...
450
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:28,351
To silence the music.
451
00:16:28,476 --> 00:16:30,545
Now!
452
00:16:32,013 --> 00:16:33,409
What's going on, dude?
453
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,591
Adam's been possessed
by Dr. Telamericorp!
454
00:16:35,716 --> 00:16:37,372
- What?
- Run!
455
00:16:37,818 --> 00:16:40,663
- Oh!
- Uh-oh.
456
00:16:40,788 --> 00:16:42,698
Hurry!
Follow me!
457
00:16:44,259 --> 00:16:46,569
Strong boy.
458
00:16:46,694 --> 00:16:50,473
I'm a strong boy.
459
00:16:53,468 --> 00:17:01,708
460
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,056
Now!
461
00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:10,393
- You got him?
- Yeah!
462
00:17:10,518 --> 00:17:12,657
- Now what?
- We gotta solidify this cocoon.
463
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,297
- Grab that stuff?
- This?
464
00:17:14,422 --> 00:17:16,132
Yeah! Now let's head up to the roof!
465
00:17:16,257 --> 00:17:18,034
We gotta harness the power
of the super moon
466
00:17:18,159 --> 00:17:19,869
for the exorcism.
467
00:17:19,994 --> 00:17:21,881
Yay, yay, yay!
The super moon!
468
00:17:22,006 --> 00:17:23,751
- Here we come!
- All right, he's excited.
469
00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:33,761
{pub}It's so super!
470
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,626
God, that is a real moon!
471
00:17:35,751 --> 00:17:38,727
Oh, God damn it, Ders,
shove the telescope up your ass!
472
00:17:38,852 --> 00:17:41,056
Give me your flask!
Hurry!
473
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:46,164
Oh... Super moon.
474
00:17:46,289 --> 00:17:48,901
Please bless this manly soda
475
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:52,257
and in the same way
that Dr Pepper Ten
476
00:17:52,382 --> 00:17:55,444
is most definitely not for women,
477
00:17:55,569 --> 00:17:59,747
so be Adam's body not for ghosts!
478
00:17:59,872 --> 00:18:01,433
That was really good, man.
479
00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:02,331
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
480
00:18:02,497 --> 00:18:04,292
And...
481
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,757
Uhh!
482
00:18:05,882 --> 00:18:07,938
All right! Now...
483
00:18:08,063 --> 00:18:11,257
We must insulate the demons.
484
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,085
- Okay.
- Shoot him with this gun.
485
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:14,632
Now. Now.
486
00:18:14,757 --> 00:18:16,033
Ooh.
487
00:18:16,158 --> 00:18:19,306
- Ah, watch your load, man.
- Oh, yeah.
488
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:20,906
- Oh, man.
- Ohh.
489
00:18:21,031 --> 00:18:22,351
- This dries really quick.
- Yeah, it does.
490
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,522
Get out of my homey,
Dr. Telamericorp!
491
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,097
Blake, I can't believe you're
not looking at this thing.
492
00:18:29,222 --> 00:18:29,848
I mean, look at the...
493
00:18:33,174 --> 00:18:37,283
Oh, there's my strong little boy.
494
00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:42,663
It's okay, Adam.
495
00:18:44,459 --> 00:18:46,375
You can sleep now.
496
00:18:49,058 --> 00:18:50,835
Mm.
497
00:18:51,554 --> 00:18:52,840
Oh. Okay.
498
00:18:56,513 --> 00:18:58,503
All right. Uh...
499
00:18:58,628 --> 00:18:59,640
What are you doing?
500
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,314
Oh. Sorry.
501
00:19:02,338 --> 00:19:03,815
Misread!
502
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,781
I, uh, thought you were...
503
00:19:06,906 --> 00:19:09,465
I mean, it seemed as though
you were, uh,
504
00:19:09,590 --> 00:19:10,650
vibing me.
505
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,014
No, no vibe.
506
00:19:12,477 --> 00:19:14,084
Not a vibe and...
Noo...
507
00:19:14,209 --> 00:19:15,491
- Oh.
- Uh-uh.
508
00:19:15,616 --> 00:19:16,239
Okay, then.
509
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,630
- That's my bad.
- Yeah.
510
00:19:18,755 --> 00:19:20,826
Well...
511
00:19:20,992 --> 00:19:23,287
Sleepy bye, my little tiger.
512
00:19:24,572 --> 00:19:27,792
- Nighty night,
- My little buckaroo.
513
00:19:31,868 --> 00:19:33,381
Oh.
514
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,049
Did it work?
515
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,343
Oh, hell, yeah, bitch.
516
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,316
Really?
All right, man!
517
00:19:39,441 --> 00:19:40,721
- I can't believe it!
- Nice job!
518
00:19:41,978 --> 00:19:45,344
Help me!
I cut my finger!
519
00:19:45,469 --> 00:19:46,742
To the bone!
520
00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:50,170
Damn, man, you scared us!
521
00:19:50,295 --> 00:19:51,764
Yeah, we're in the middle
of something.
522
00:19:51,889 --> 00:19:52,650
Gosh!
523
00:19:53,273 --> 00:19:55,472
I still don't understand
what you were doing, Bill.
524
00:19:55,597 --> 00:19:57,098
I was in the basement
525
00:19:57,223 --> 00:19:59,554
cutting up fliers
for my babysitting company,
526
00:19:59,679 --> 00:20:01,418
and I sliced my finger...
527
00:20:01,543 --> 00:20:02,493
To the bone.
528
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:05,705
- I think we heard him scream.
- Yeah, we saw some of your blood.
529
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,507
But didn't think someone
needs a ride to the hospital?
530
00:20:08,632 --> 00:20:11,210
I'm sorry, Bill, are we not driving
you to the hospital right now?
531
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,280
Is this not enough for you?
532
00:20:13,405 --> 00:20:15,224
- Shotgun!
- Good call.
533
00:20:15,349 --> 00:20:16,380
Dang it!
534
00:20:16,505 --> 00:20:18,952
You know what?
Bill, look...
535
00:20:19,077 --> 00:20:21,512
We're sorry, man,
but we were kind of busy
536
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:24,849
dealing with the ghost
of Dr. Telamericorp.
537
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,767
That's Josh, you idiot.
538
00:20:26,933 --> 00:20:28,394
He used to work here,
539
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,202
and Alice kept
sexually harassing him.
540
00:20:31,327 --> 00:20:33,020
She even commissioned that portrait.
541
00:20:33,145 --> 00:20:36,029
- He sued the company.
- Okay, so there was never
542
00:20:36,154 --> 00:20:36,944
a Dr. Telamericorp.
543
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,375
Great. Thank you.
544
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:41,433
Or was there?
545
00:20:41,558 --> 00:20:42,883
You asking me?
546
00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:44,410
There wasn't.
547
00:20:47,531 --> 00:20:49,206
- Sure.
- Let's go!
548
00:20:49,372 --> 00:20:51,422
All right, already, Bill!
549
00:20:52,268 --> 00:20:53,169
Whoa, you're whipping it.
550
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,670
Uh-oh!
551
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:59,270
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