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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,374 --> 00:00:05,561 I have a great Aunt who lived to be, like, 129. 2 00:00:05,598 --> 00:00:07,875 Oh, cool, that's physically impossible, so nuts. 3 00:00:07,936 --> 00:00:10,783 No, Derch, physics have nothing to do with it. 4 00:00:10,808 --> 00:00:13,796 - She was a human hero. - Well, how'd she die? 5 00:00:14,076 --> 00:00:15,578 Gunfire... cops shot her. 6 00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,603 - Oh. - What? 7 00:00:16,626 --> 00:00:17,771 Yeah. 8 00:00:17,790 --> 00:00:20,310 - Whoa, what the fug? - You have 20 minutes 9 00:00:20,384 --> 00:00:21,529 to clean this up. 10 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,540 What? We didn't do this. 11 00:00:24,653 --> 00:00:27,642 - What are these, capes? - All right, who was it? 12 00:00:27,671 --> 00:00:30,191 Your mama. 13 00:00:30,266 --> 00:00:33,588 Waymond, you're being uncharacteristically quiet. 14 00:00:33,624 --> 00:00:36,280 Did you do this to us? Is this your doing? 15 00:00:36,317 --> 00:00:39,521 'Cause if you did, we're gonna come back at you... 16 00:00:39,550 --> 00:00:41,013 So hard. 17 00:00:41,036 --> 00:00:43,581 That's right, 'cause anybody who comes at us... 18 00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:46,557 Know that we come back at you twice as hard. 19 00:00:46,582 --> 00:00:47,501 - Preach. - That's right. 20 00:00:47,526 --> 00:00:50,036 You want us to come hard? You got us to come hard! 21 00:00:50,068 --> 00:00:52,162 - So seriously guys... - I come hard in my sleep! 22 00:00:52,293 --> 00:00:54,618 - All right, all right. Waymond... - I will shit on you! 23 00:00:54,652 --> 00:00:56,633 Here's the deal. Waymond, you gotta fess up, 24 00:00:56,658 --> 00:01:00,039 unless you want three dudes on top of you coming hard. 25 00:01:00,088 --> 00:01:02,477 - In three, two... - Bazinga! 26 00:01:04,918 --> 00:01:08,971 - You guys do this? - B-rad is back, baby, yes! 27 00:01:09,343 --> 00:01:12,556 - Oh, he's coming up top. - Yeah, get him out of here. 28 00:01:12,613 --> 00:01:20,080 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 29 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,270 There we go. There we go. 30 00:01:26,335 --> 00:01:28,560 - Yeah. - Oh, we're giving birth. 31 00:01:28,727 --> 00:01:29,910 Giving birth to a B-rad. 32 00:01:29,953 --> 00:01:31,162 - All right, man! - There he is. 33 00:01:31,188 --> 00:01:32,697 Everybody, dust him off. 34 00:01:32,743 --> 00:01:34,381 B-rad, it's good to see you, man. 35 00:01:34,412 --> 00:01:36,567 - You're looking pretty fit. - Looking good, dude. 36 00:01:36,592 --> 00:01:37,570 What are you doing in town? 37 00:01:37,588 --> 00:01:40,130 Also, why'd you come at me so hard, bro? 38 00:01:40,176 --> 00:01:42,978 You came at us so hard with all these popcorn... s. 39 00:01:43,018 --> 00:01:45,394 It was a joke, you bitch! 40 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:48,728 - Whoa. Shots fired. - I'm in town 41 00:01:48,747 --> 00:01:51,251 to do a ride-along with the police, 42 00:01:51,332 --> 00:01:52,761 'cause I'm writing a cop novel. 43 00:01:52,802 --> 00:01:53,623 - Cool. - Wow. 44 00:01:53,653 --> 00:01:55,604 - Gritty stuff. - I bet, dude. 45 00:01:55,629 --> 00:01:58,908 But Alice wanted me to stop by for the roast. 46 00:01:59,164 --> 00:02:00,373 - Roast? What roast? - Yeah. 47 00:02:00,430 --> 00:02:01,740 Oh, Monday is Bill's 48 00:02:01,765 --> 00:02:03,695 20th anniversary of working at Telamericorp, 49 00:02:03,721 --> 00:02:04,803 so we're roasting him. 50 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,851 - Cool. Yeah. - Oh, nice. 51 00:02:06,899 --> 00:02:09,028 All right, so, like, how many snaps should we write? 52 00:02:09,057 --> 00:02:10,742 Yeah, can we work blue? Can we cuss? 53 00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:12,177 And also, who's Bill? 54 00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:15,600 Oh, actually, Alice said you guys don't get to do the roast. 55 00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:17,137 - Really? - Uh, why wouldn't 56 00:02:17,162 --> 00:02:19,287 the three funniest guys in the office be roasting him? 57 00:02:19,327 --> 00:02:20,913 You're not funny. 58 00:02:22,321 --> 00:02:24,598 I'm not funny? Me? 59 00:02:24,736 --> 00:02:28,659 Adam, "The... The Laugh Ki... The Laugh... uh... 60 00:02:28,698 --> 00:02:30,723 Giver" Demamp. - Mm-hmm. 61 00:02:30,754 --> 00:02:35,492 I know all 101 sick jokes for twisted kids. 62 00:02:35,516 --> 00:02:37,221 Oh, Alice, you want to know the difference 63 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,673 between a pile of dead babies and a pile of sand? 64 00:02:39,736 --> 00:02:41,447 I don't eat sand. 65 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,829 Fine. Whatever. 66 00:02:44,882 --> 00:02:46,190 - You'll let us roast? - Yes. 67 00:02:46,221 --> 00:02:48,568 Yes! Nice. 68 00:02:48,589 --> 00:02:50,907 - Yes. - So cool. I got this thing... 69 00:02:50,943 --> 00:02:54,586 Hey, you honestly don't think I'm funny? 70 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,574 Just me, not talking about those guys. 71 00:02:56,610 --> 00:03:00,650 You've honestly never said one thing I have ever found 72 00:03:00,696 --> 00:03:02,718 at all funny, bro. 73 00:03:03,818 --> 00:03:06,156 What do you know about funny? 74 00:03:06,511 --> 00:03:08,275 Chicks aren't funny. Dudes are funny. 75 00:03:08,317 --> 00:03:12,297 Hangover 2 rules. Bridesmaids drools. 76 00:03:12,528 --> 00:03:14,038 I don't care what anybody says. 77 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,717 We're the funniest people in this office. 78 00:03:15,742 --> 00:03:17,823 - Funnier than that dad. - I'm funnier than she is. 79 00:03:17,856 --> 00:03:20,250 Got a subscription to "Suicide Illustrated!" 80 00:03:21,692 --> 00:03:22,605 Wait. 81 00:03:22,627 --> 00:03:25,336 Now Bill is trying to get a snack? 82 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:28,086 Bill! You still gonna end up eating what you always eat. 83 00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:29,791 Your big-ass boogers in your nose! 84 00:03:33,289 --> 00:03:36,725 Hey, you know, I see what you're doing, Bill. 85 00:03:36,756 --> 00:03:39,684 He's trying to make jokes about you, but it's, uh... 86 00:03:39,728 --> 00:03:41,390 it's "snot" funny. 87 00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:45,817 It... it is... it's snot funny. 88 00:03:45,841 --> 00:03:47,354 - Snot. - I said "snot," 89 00:03:47,384 --> 00:03:49,315 because the boogers... With the snot. 90 00:03:49,642 --> 00:03:51,088 - Hey, uh... - What the... 91 00:03:51,113 --> 00:03:54,854 Bill's so bald, right? He looks like he, uh... 92 00:03:54,907 --> 00:03:57,357 like he's a cancer patient! 93 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,889 Death bed! 94 00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:04,955 This dude, um, he's a human... 95 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,849 One time, I seen that motherfucker dookie in his drawers! 96 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,189 Dookie! Dookie! 97 00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:25,737 Dookie in your drawers, Bill, dookie in your draw... 98 00:04:27,817 --> 00:04:29,343 You know, maybe Montez is right. 99 00:04:29,387 --> 00:04:31,576 Maybe I'm not an hysterical dude. 100 00:04:31,615 --> 00:04:32,606 - Hey! - I won't listen to it. 101 00:04:32,631 --> 00:04:34,157 You are funny, okay? 102 00:04:34,175 --> 00:04:35,915 No one has given me more laughs in this world 103 00:04:35,939 --> 00:04:37,003 - than this guy. - Yeah. 104 00:04:37,023 --> 00:04:39,049 Adam "the laugh giver" Demamp. 105 00:04:39,118 --> 00:04:40,451 Yep. 106 00:04:40,558 --> 00:04:42,902 - Thank you. - I mean, sure, Montez has 107 00:04:42,935 --> 00:04:44,485 - broad appeal, right? - Sure. 108 00:04:44,522 --> 00:04:46,664 We'll give him that. But I'm sorry... 109 00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:49,666 I have a more refined, dry, British sense of humor, 110 00:04:49,685 --> 00:04:52,297 a la the funniest movie of all time, Austin Powers. 111 00:04:53,353 --> 00:04:56,511 - No. - Oh, please! Funniest movie of all time, 112 00:04:56,552 --> 00:04:58,727 no questions, Wayne's World One. 113 00:05:00,997 --> 00:05:02,703 No, sir. 114 00:05:02,748 --> 00:05:04,803 You guys like the big blockbusters. 115 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,790 That's cool. That's fine. Me, personally... 116 00:05:07,101 --> 00:05:08,121 indie comedy. 117 00:05:08,149 --> 00:05:09,287 That's what I'm into. 118 00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:11,775 I'm talking about Indian comedy. 119 00:05:11,862 --> 00:05:14,340 Very, very, very hot right now. 120 00:05:14,521 --> 00:05:16,921 Love Guru? That's the future of comedy. 121 00:05:16,939 --> 00:05:18,408 You guys are out of your minds. 122 00:05:18,774 --> 00:05:21,576 I hope I'm not interrupting a circle jerk. 123 00:05:21,726 --> 00:05:23,802 - No, we were just... - We're not circle-jerking. 124 00:05:23,821 --> 00:05:25,570 Although this would be the room to do it in. 125 00:05:25,601 --> 00:05:27,854 Where the weed at? Bring it, baby. Bring it. 126 00:05:27,921 --> 00:05:29,196 - He's back. - Party beast. 127 00:05:29,215 --> 00:05:31,556 What are you dick gymnasts squawking about, anyway? 128 00:05:31,586 --> 00:05:32,843 Oh, man, I don't know. 129 00:05:32,868 --> 00:05:36,224 We just want to be the stars of the roast, but that Montez guy... 130 00:05:36,255 --> 00:05:38,215 - he has so many snaps. - Yeah. 131 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,038 - 'Tez is a cartoon character. - Mm-hmm. 132 00:05:40,059 --> 00:05:41,144 I don't find him funny. 133 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,730 Yeah, I mean, t-these people... 134 00:05:42,754 --> 00:05:45,134 they're not gonna understand my party tricks. 135 00:05:45,297 --> 00:05:47,121 I've got party tricks. I have this one where I eat 136 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:50,388 60 ketchup packets, and then I don't vomit. 137 00:05:50,562 --> 00:05:52,997 I will tell you the secret to a good roast. 138 00:05:53,215 --> 00:05:56,271 Know your target, inside and out, 139 00:05:56,327 --> 00:05:58,382 - and then hit 'em where it hurts! - Whoa. 140 00:05:58,413 --> 00:06:00,262 - I thought he was gonna hit me. - He's right. 141 00:06:00,312 --> 00:06:02,610 Montez knows Bill way better than we do. 142 00:06:02,646 --> 00:06:05,444 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but he knows work Bill. 143 00:06:05,526 --> 00:06:08,921 He doesn't know the real Bill, weekend Bill. 144 00:06:09,216 --> 00:06:11,207 - We gotta get to know weekend Bill. - Weekend Bill. 145 00:06:11,244 --> 00:06:12,921 We've gotta get to know weekend Bill. 146 00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:14,760 Wait, who's Bill, again? 147 00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:24,623 {pub}The reason Wayne's World works 148 00:06:24,649 --> 00:06:26,593 is because it takes place in the real world. 149 00:06:26,618 --> 00:06:28,224 - I touched that. - It's about real dudes. 150 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,932 Comedy is not about jokes. 151 00:06:29,949 --> 00:06:31,443 Did you guys see how I just touched that? 152 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,934 - It's about shedding light... - It's like ten feet in the air. 153 00:06:33,965 --> 00:06:35,702 - And Austin Powers does that. - Here, shh! Here it is. 154 00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:36,977 - Come on. - Number eight. 155 00:06:44,917 --> 00:06:47,611 Holy yoga, dude! He's a yoga dude. 156 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,570 Oh, we can destroy him. No one likes yoga dudes. 157 00:06:50,603 --> 00:06:51,809 Guru! 158 00:06:51,834 --> 00:06:54,562 Dude, it funny because, like, girls do yoga, and he's a guy, 159 00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:56,364 - and he's doing yoga. - Yeah, that is why it's funny. 160 00:06:56,389 --> 00:06:57,889 - Right? - Yeah, we're really finding, 161 00:06:57,905 --> 00:06:59,682 you know, the depth of the comedy. 162 00:06:59,707 --> 00:07:02,178 - We're really digging deep. - Right. What's he doing... 163 00:07:02,252 --> 00:07:03,878 Now, though? 164 00:07:03,932 --> 00:07:06,317 - Oh, my God. - Naked yoga. 165 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,591 What? 166 00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:11,070 Oh, my God, he's a "naked yoga" guy. 167 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:14,904 Wait, is he... God, he's sucking it. 168 00:07:15,355 --> 00:07:17,764 Yes! We're gonna skewer him with this! 169 00:07:17,783 --> 00:07:19,227 Ugh. 170 00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:21,817 You really think we can make fun of him for this? 171 00:07:21,862 --> 00:07:23,575 - Yeah. - Yeah. 172 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,838 What are you talking about? This is amazing. 173 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,504 He's like a superhero. We can't reveal his superpowers. 174 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:31,830 I'm sorry. Does this not come across to you as just 175 00:07:32,381 --> 00:07:34,213 the gayest thing you've ever seen? 176 00:07:34,234 --> 00:07:36,738 I think it's gay not to sip your own tip. 177 00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:38,511 That means you don't like blow jobs that much, 178 00:07:38,546 --> 00:07:40,355 and that's, like, the gayest thing in the world. 179 00:07:40,374 --> 00:07:41,551 Right. 180 00:07:41,582 --> 00:07:43,956 Uh, guys, I think he's about to... 181 00:07:44,085 --> 00:07:46,691 okay, let's take a lap. Let's take a lap. 182 00:07:53,203 --> 00:07:54,913 What's he doing? 183 00:07:55,144 --> 00:07:57,251 I know exactly what that is. 184 00:07:57,292 --> 00:08:01,305 It's medical cream for eczema, without a doubt. 185 00:08:08,642 --> 00:08:10,775 Okay, so he's a street performer with eczema. 186 00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:14,327 - This is... Sad. - This is great! 187 00:08:14,472 --> 00:08:16,539 We have so much good stuff for the roast. 188 00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:19,694 What? What's funny about unlimited self-blow jobs 189 00:08:19,715 --> 00:08:22,292 and getting paid to do the robot? 190 00:08:22,355 --> 00:08:23,523 Nothing. 191 00:08:23,665 --> 00:08:24,974 I'm jealous of this dude. 192 00:08:25,269 --> 00:08:26,331 We're coming up dry. 193 00:08:26,359 --> 00:08:28,088 We can't make fun of him for this. 194 00:08:31,587 --> 00:08:33,226 I'm not doing this again, dude. 195 00:08:33,249 --> 00:08:34,824 Just tell me what you want. 196 00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:40,662 Jesus Christ! Okay, fine, ham? 197 00:08:40,703 --> 00:08:41,843 Is that what you want? 198 00:08:41,934 --> 00:08:44,829 Oh, no, this is just depressing. 199 00:08:45,069 --> 00:08:47,344 Yeah, I'm sad too... 200 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,269 Mostly hungry, actually. 201 00:08:49,294 --> 00:08:51,152 Yeah. Ders, go order a pizza. 202 00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:52,865 They don't serve pizza here. 203 00:08:52,888 --> 00:08:54,090 It's a sandwich place. 204 00:08:54,119 --> 00:08:56,262 Do you think they'll deliver pizza here, 205 00:08:56,330 --> 00:08:58,050 like, if we order from a pizza place? 206 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:01,885 Do you have a punch card? 207 00:09:01,914 --> 00:09:03,335 You punched this yourself, didn't you? 208 00:09:04,196 --> 00:09:06,697 All right, you know what? Get out. We're done. 209 00:09:06,728 --> 00:09:08,189 Beat it. 210 00:09:08,412 --> 00:09:10,475 Don't take that sandwich! I will call the cops! 211 00:09:10,504 --> 00:09:12,247 Hey, hang on a second, hang on a second. 212 00:09:12,284 --> 00:09:14,695 I'll pay for his food. Look, he's... 213 00:09:15,181 --> 00:09:18,334 He's my dad, so I'm very embarrassed. 214 00:09:18,371 --> 00:09:21,145 I'm sure your dad's embarrassed you from time to time. 215 00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:24,518 No, he hasn't. He's... he has great judgment. 216 00:09:24,599 --> 00:09:26,402 He would never do something like this. 217 00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:29,977 You've been following me all day? 218 00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:32,558 Eh, since, like, 9:00 a.m. 219 00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:33,895 So you saw me...? 220 00:09:33,942 --> 00:09:35,014 Mm-hmm. 221 00:09:35,045 --> 00:09:37,605 Yes. You've gotta teach me how to do that. 222 00:09:37,665 --> 00:09:39,939 Believe me, you don't wanna go down that road. 223 00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:41,463 It's the only road I want to go down. 224 00:09:41,484 --> 00:09:42,748 Anyway, look, 225 00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:43,912 we're just looking for dirt on you, 226 00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:45,311 so we can beat Montez at roasting. 227 00:09:45,348 --> 00:09:48,244 I hate this stupid roast. I already know I'm a loser. 228 00:09:48,262 --> 00:09:50,410 I don't need the whole office telling me so. 229 00:09:50,436 --> 00:09:52,694 - You got a bunch of... - Montez is ruthless. 230 00:09:52,719 --> 00:09:54,757 - I don't even want to go. - Whoa, whoa, okay. 231 00:09:54,788 --> 00:09:56,195 That means we don't get to roast. 232 00:09:56,232 --> 00:09:59,289 Bill, what you're forgetting here is that... 233 00:09:59,524 --> 00:10:01,000 You're the guest of honor, right? 234 00:10:01,025 --> 00:10:03,027 - Yeah. - So you get the last word. 235 00:10:03,064 --> 00:10:04,852 We can take Montez down together. 236 00:10:04,878 --> 00:10:05,730 Yep. 237 00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:08,523 What about that dickhead Jet Set? 238 00:10:08,627 --> 00:10:11,405 You teach me how to... 239 00:10:13,224 --> 00:10:16,672 Myself, and we've got a deal. 240 00:10:16,848 --> 00:10:18,424 Well, you gotta be big. 241 00:10:18,447 --> 00:10:19,666 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 242 00:10:19,713 --> 00:10:20,748 Holy Moly. 243 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,866 O'er the land-uh 244 00:10:24,078 --> 00:10:27,122 Of the free-uh 245 00:10:27,221 --> 00:10:31,785 And that fucking Bill's gay-uh 246 00:10:36,549 --> 00:10:40,762 And I'm out. Have fun roasting this bald pig. 247 00:10:40,928 --> 00:10:42,347 Great job, Bradley! 248 00:10:42,387 --> 00:10:44,778 Who's Bradley? I'm Tony Clifton, you asshole. 249 00:10:44,815 --> 00:10:47,025 - Wake up! - Oh! 250 00:10:47,284 --> 00:10:50,253 Bill treat his nose like the hometown buffet! 251 00:10:50,278 --> 00:10:51,953 What's the worst job in the world? 252 00:10:51,989 --> 00:10:53,595 Being Bill's pants, 'cause you know 253 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,983 you're gonna get dookied on! 254 00:10:55,018 --> 00:10:57,750 He has a booger pasta bar, a booger dessert bar, 255 00:10:57,781 --> 00:10:58,948 a booger serving station... 256 00:10:58,977 --> 00:11:02,740 Yes, Bill, you look like a goddamn child molester. 257 00:11:02,756 --> 00:11:05,825 Bill be picking his boogers like he Orville Redenbacher. 258 00:11:05,853 --> 00:11:07,730 Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop! 259 00:11:07,755 --> 00:11:09,805 I got three words for you, brother. 260 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:13,663 Wash your stinkin' ass! 261 00:11:15,848 --> 00:11:19,321 Okay, our next roasters wanted to do it as a threesome. 262 00:11:19,421 --> 00:11:22,800 And they also wanted to perform together. 263 00:11:22,829 --> 00:11:25,272 All right, let's give it up for Adam, Anders, and Blake! 264 00:11:25,305 --> 00:11:28,080 - Whoo! - Shagadelic! 265 00:11:28,134 --> 00:11:30,940 Do I make you Randy, baby? 266 00:11:30,978 --> 00:11:32,721 Shwing! 267 00:11:32,808 --> 00:11:37,755 Tickle, tickle, break the pickle. 268 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,223 Excellent. 269 00:11:39,486 --> 00:11:41,040 We were listening out there, 270 00:11:41,065 --> 00:11:42,478 you know, and you guys were 271 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:45,126 roasting Bill pretty hard. 272 00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:46,361 And he's my mate, 273 00:11:46,399 --> 00:11:49,869 so I'm here to tell you to behave, baby, yeah! 274 00:11:49,906 --> 00:11:51,023 All right. 275 00:11:51,698 --> 00:11:55,610 We're not worthy of such a great co-worker. 276 00:11:55,660 --> 00:11:59,049 We're not worthy! We're not worthy! 277 00:12:00,607 --> 00:12:02,270 I got it. 278 00:12:03,584 --> 00:12:06,040 Mariska Hargitay. 279 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,378 Mari-ska Hargitay! 280 00:12:14,176 --> 00:12:15,595 Y'all stop! 281 00:12:15,626 --> 00:12:17,390 Tickle, tickle, break the pickle. 282 00:12:17,434 --> 00:12:18,419 You already did this. 283 00:12:18,442 --> 00:12:19,569 - Hey, come on. - Ow! 284 00:12:19,599 --> 00:12:20,786 That hurt my ankle. 285 00:12:20,817 --> 00:12:22,888 Have you guys really not seen Love Guru? 286 00:12:22,931 --> 00:12:25,567 It's a funny, funny movie. 287 00:12:25,604 --> 00:12:27,490 - Mike Myers is in it. - Yeah, Wayne's World One. 288 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,871 It's, like, one of the biggest comedies 289 00:12:28,908 --> 00:12:30,333 - of, like, the early mid-2000s. - All right, all right, look. 290 00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:33,098 We're sorry you don't like our characters, but we're funny guys. 291 00:12:33,129 --> 00:12:34,564 And we followed Bill this weekend. 292 00:12:34,595 --> 00:12:35,995 And guess what he does on the weekend? 293 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,327 He paints himself silver like a robot 294 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,716 and goes on the street and begs for money. 295 00:12:40,756 --> 00:12:43,388 And then... and then we also caught him stealing a sandwich, 296 00:12:43,425 --> 00:12:46,595 because he's that poor, guys. 297 00:12:46,818 --> 00:12:48,923 This isn't what we planned. What are you doing? 298 00:12:48,951 --> 00:12:50,811 It's all true. It's all true. We followed him. 299 00:12:50,855 --> 00:12:52,449 And guess what we saw? 300 00:12:52,532 --> 00:12:55,493 We saw this broke-ass fool suck his own dick! 301 00:12:55,521 --> 00:12:56,946 What? 302 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,392 - He's good at it. - That's hilarious. 303 00:12:59,972 --> 00:13:01,557 Enough! 304 00:13:02,025 --> 00:13:04,144 You guys said you were on my side! 305 00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:05,949 - Sure, whatever, man. - They love it, man. 306 00:13:05,996 --> 00:13:07,888 You're right. My life is a joke. 307 00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:09,832 But I have news for you! 308 00:13:09,908 --> 00:13:11,715 Oh! 309 00:13:11,752 --> 00:13:14,474 This is where the joke ends! 310 00:13:24,232 --> 00:13:26,236 {pub}- Okay. All right. - Oh, God! Oh, God! 311 00:13:26,267 --> 00:13:27,703 All right, everybody in the corner! 312 00:13:27,730 --> 00:13:29,270 Let's go! Let's go! 313 00:13:29,681 --> 00:13:30,976 Cell phones in here! 314 00:13:31,006 --> 00:13:33,408 I don't want anyone ruining my big day! 315 00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:34,806 Hey, Bill, what are you doing? 316 00:13:34,832 --> 00:13:36,708 Okay, please, just put the gun down. 317 00:13:36,746 --> 00:13:38,082 You heard the lady. Put it down. 318 00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:39,078 Or what? 319 00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:41,298 You're making a big mistake, man. 320 00:13:41,370 --> 00:13:43,475 Don't do something you're gonna regret, man. 321 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:46,662 Something I regret? I regret my entire life! 322 00:13:46,703 --> 00:13:47,735 What? 323 00:13:47,767 --> 00:13:49,200 A good-looking guy like yourself? 324 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,621 No, no, no! Please don't kill me! 325 00:13:50,652 --> 00:13:51,995 I wish this was all a dream! 326 00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:54,098 Doodle-ooh, doodle-ooh, doodle-ooh. 327 00:13:54,223 --> 00:13:56,767 Stop, stop, I got this. Look, okay... 328 00:13:56,892 --> 00:13:59,355 Bill, if anyone knows what it's like to be picked on, it's me. 329 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,692 My father was a relentlessly self-improving 330 00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:04,280 boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy 331 00:14:04,313 --> 00:14:05,998 and a penchant for buggery. 332 00:14:06,023 --> 00:14:07,925 Shut up and help me lock this place down, 333 00:14:07,951 --> 00:14:09,366 - Mr. Powers. - Okay, all right. 334 00:14:09,436 --> 00:14:12,231 Okay, his back's turned. Let's do this. 335 00:14:12,277 --> 00:14:14,370 - Do what? - Roll on him! 336 00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:16,503 Grab the gun and bring him to justice. 337 00:14:16,864 --> 00:14:19,345 Get my reward. 338 00:14:19,938 --> 00:14:23,183 Don't... oh, don't be stupid. 339 00:14:23,426 --> 00:14:25,304 Too late. 340 00:14:27,789 --> 00:14:30,567 Welcome to staples center... Bitch. 341 00:14:30,610 --> 00:14:31,629 Aah! 342 00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:40,213 - Oh, gosh! - Come with me! 343 00:14:40,362 --> 00:14:41,864 Now! 344 00:14:46,775 --> 00:14:48,718 Good-bye... 345 00:14:48,843 --> 00:14:50,187 Forever. 346 00:14:50,312 --> 00:14:52,251 Adam. 347 00:14:55,481 --> 00:14:57,845 Turn around! 348 00:15:04,197 --> 00:15:06,118 - They bought it, right? - Oh, totally! 349 00:15:06,136 --> 00:15:07,565 Oh, I'm sorry I did the stapler thing. 350 00:15:07,589 --> 00:15:09,353 I just felt... I really felt like that was in the moment, 351 00:15:09,372 --> 00:15:10,422 - you know? - No, no, that was good. 352 00:15:10,444 --> 00:15:11,620 It sold it. It was hilarious. 353 00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:12,713 - It did sell it, right? - Yeah! 354 00:15:12,738 --> 00:15:14,872 I was feeling it! It was incredible. 355 00:15:14,890 --> 00:15:16,291 Ders and Blake did a good job too. 356 00:15:16,303 --> 00:15:17,372 Like, we can't forget about them. 357 00:15:17,397 --> 00:15:18,460 You did great! 358 00:15:18,506 --> 00:15:19,883 Okay, so what's next? 359 00:15:20,485 --> 00:15:21,899 All right, everybody just be calm. 360 00:15:21,915 --> 00:15:24,740 Adam's probably in there telling Bill to turn himself in. 361 00:15:24,765 --> 00:15:27,615 It's gonna be over soon. 362 00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:33,966 - Oh, my God! - Oh, God. 363 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,133 What have you done? 364 00:15:35,157 --> 00:15:37,455 Anyone else wanna be a hero? 365 00:15:37,559 --> 00:15:41,486 You need help, man. Bill, let us help you. 366 00:15:41,529 --> 00:15:43,652 - You want to help me? - Yes, Bill. 367 00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:47,075 Maybe you should have thought of that before you said I ate my boogers! 368 00:15:47,106 --> 00:15:49,238 Bill, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. 369 00:15:49,262 --> 00:15:52,043 - It was a roast. - Then show me you're sorry. 370 00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:56,886 I want you to pick every nose here and eat it, 371 00:15:57,137 --> 00:15:58,423 one by one! 372 00:15:58,776 --> 00:16:01,028 What? Come on, Bill. 373 00:16:01,073 --> 00:16:02,523 Dude, eat their boogers! 374 00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:05,062 He's not messing around. He just killed Adam. 375 00:16:05,096 --> 00:16:07,977 Bill, sir, if Montez does what you say, 376 00:16:07,995 --> 00:16:09,177 will you let us all live? 377 00:16:09,214 --> 00:16:11,880 He eats every booger, and I'll consider it. 378 00:16:11,919 --> 00:16:12,754 Okay. 379 00:16:12,792 --> 00:16:14,474 Why don't you start with Waymond? 380 00:16:14,499 --> 00:16:16,214 He looks a little stuffy. 381 00:16:16,245 --> 00:16:17,875 Come on, Bill. Put the gun down, Bill. 382 00:16:17,899 --> 00:16:22,349 Montez, save a life. Eat a booger. 383 00:16:23,152 --> 00:16:24,664 I'm sorry, Waymond. 384 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:32,205 I can't... ugh. 385 00:16:32,376 --> 00:16:34,129 Oh. 386 00:16:34,972 --> 00:16:37,232 Oh, God, he's eating it. 387 00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:40,740 Oh, I can't... 388 00:16:40,965 --> 00:16:43,433 you know what would make this perfect? 389 00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:46,001 If Jet shits his pants... 390 00:16:46,045 --> 00:16:48,153 - Hell, no! - While you're digging for gold. 391 00:16:48,196 --> 00:16:50,298 Everybody wins! 392 00:16:50,329 --> 00:16:52,382 Bill, no! Don't make him do it. 393 00:16:52,425 --> 00:16:54,128 Never question my authority, 394 00:16:54,159 --> 00:16:56,328 unless you want everyone to die. 395 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:59,272 Let me do it for him. I'll shit my pants right now! 396 00:16:59,297 --> 00:17:01,112 - Whoa, uh, no, J-Jillian... - Okay. 397 00:17:01,149 --> 00:17:03,434 Just let him handle his thing. Thank you, though. 398 00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:05,606 - No, I have it in me right now. - You're very brave. 399 00:17:05,632 --> 00:17:07,920 Think about what you doing right now, Bill. 400 00:17:08,005 --> 00:17:08,961 Stop this. 401 00:17:08,991 --> 00:17:10,468 I am thinking! Do it! 402 00:17:10,493 --> 00:17:11,588 Oh, God. 403 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,044 I can't. I can't. I can't. 404 00:17:26,626 --> 00:17:28,525 Eat it! 405 00:17:31,786 --> 00:17:35,812 I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. 406 00:17:40,488 --> 00:17:44,605 Okay, everyone, I have an announcement! 407 00:17:44,765 --> 00:17:47,386 - This whole thing... - Bill, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. 408 00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:49,406 Uh, before you make that announcement, 409 00:17:49,430 --> 00:17:52,456 you had something else you wanted to say, remember? 410 00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:54,768 You wanted Ders here 411 00:17:54,801 --> 00:17:57,511 to admit that Wayne's World is a better movie 412 00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:59,527 than Austin Powers, or he'll kill him! 413 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,638 - I did? - Yes, you did. 414 00:18:01,657 --> 00:18:03,018 Okay, sure, uh... 415 00:18:03,055 --> 00:18:04,698 Say what Blake said, or I'll kill you! 416 00:18:04,736 --> 00:18:06,554 Yeah. 417 00:18:07,989 --> 00:18:09,958 Well, then I guess you're gonna have to kill me, 418 00:18:10,021 --> 00:18:13,300 because that's a goddamn lie, and I don't lie. 419 00:18:13,357 --> 00:18:16,417 I will admit that it blows Love Guru out of the water. 420 00:18:16,442 --> 00:18:17,785 Wayne's World is better than Love Guru. 421 00:18:17,814 --> 00:18:18,991 - I'll say that. - Well, obviously. 422 00:18:19,028 --> 00:18:20,838 That's really not saying anything, okay? 423 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,986 Because Wayne's World is better than Austin Powers 424 00:18:24,011 --> 00:18:25,544 - and Love Guru combined. - Oh-ho! 425 00:18:25,578 --> 00:18:27,252 - It has the funniest lines! - You know what? 426 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:29,787 I feel like I'm surrounded by freakin' idiots. 427 00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:31,440 - No way. Way! - Shh! Shh! 428 00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:33,290 - No way. Way! - Shh! 429 00:18:33,328 --> 00:18:34,918 Camera one, camera two. Camera one, camera two. 430 00:18:34,943 --> 00:18:37,622 - Stop! Sto... - Praise Buddha. 431 00:18:37,715 --> 00:18:40,003 I am reincarnated. 432 00:18:40,042 --> 00:18:46,007 I am once again the Love Guru! 433 00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,210 What in the fuck? 434 00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:50,641 I can't believe you would talk trash on another man's comedy 435 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,716 when he's not even in the room... very Wayne move of you. 436 00:18:53,740 --> 00:18:55,956 - Bill, shoot Wayne in the face. - I wouldn't even call your 437 00:18:55,986 --> 00:18:57,331 movie a comedy, really. 438 00:18:57,361 --> 00:18:59,200 - Justin Timberlake? - Oh, my God. 439 00:18:59,224 --> 00:19:00,802 That man is a quadruple threat. 440 00:19:00,827 --> 00:19:02,458 - He's a singer. - He is so... so many threats. 441 00:19:02,501 --> 00:19:03,877 He's not a comedic actor. He's a dancer. 442 00:19:03,898 --> 00:19:05,167 I'm threatened by so many... 443 00:19:05,192 --> 00:19:08,044 - on the floor, now! - Oh, my God! Oh! 444 00:19:08,209 --> 00:19:09,698 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry! 445 00:19:09,727 --> 00:19:11,789 - It was a mistake! - It was a joke! It was a joke! 446 00:19:19,228 --> 00:19:21,239 {pub}- Don't move! - No, no, no, no, no, no! 447 00:19:21,273 --> 00:19:23,329 This is all just a misunderstanding. Alright? 448 00:19:23,352 --> 00:19:24,838 We're just trying to be funny, but guys, 449 00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:26,857 this one was not as funny as we thought it was. 450 00:19:26,884 --> 00:19:30,048 That's right. It wasn't very at all. 451 00:19:30,848 --> 00:19:32,172 But this is... 452 00:19:33,825 --> 00:19:35,973 It was a joke, you bitch! 453 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,698 What the fug? 454 00:19:38,718 --> 00:19:41,316 These guys are my SWAT army. 455 00:19:41,543 --> 00:19:43,449 Thanks guys, worked like a charm. 456 00:19:43,468 --> 00:19:44,681 Good luck on your book, B-rad. 457 00:19:44,706 --> 00:19:46,119 Sounds like some real gritty stuff. 458 00:19:46,149 --> 00:19:47,757 I know, I'm running it! 459 00:19:50,693 --> 00:19:52,305 Bill called me last night 460 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:55,226 to make sure your little performance didn't get him into any trouble. 461 00:19:55,252 --> 00:19:56,679 I'm sorry. 462 00:19:56,853 --> 00:19:58,892 - You're such a loser. - Wow, OK Bill. 463 00:19:58,941 --> 00:20:00,318 And you know what's weird? 464 00:20:00,349 --> 00:20:04,452 As I seem to remember someone saying: "Chicks aren't funny". 465 00:20:05,089 --> 00:20:06,639 God, I love you. 466 00:20:06,671 --> 00:20:09,115 Hold up, hold up, hold up. 467 00:20:09,238 --> 00:20:11,661 None of this was funny at all. 468 00:20:12,257 --> 00:20:15,624 You'd have me eat Jet Set's boogers. Now, is that anything? 469 00:20:15,664 --> 00:20:17,789 And this poor bastard got dookie in his pants. 470 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,589 I don't mind. 471 00:20:20,606 --> 00:20:23,379 Plus, this was a good cause. Congratulations, Bill. 472 00:20:23,886 --> 00:20:26,574 I gotta go. Can't stand all that mess on me. 473 00:20:28,181 --> 00:20:30,087 Good night, my dudes. 474 00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:32,057 Good night, babe. 475 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,974 Come to papa! 476 00:20:58,231 --> 00:20:59,156 My back! 477 00:20:59,202 --> 00:20:59,964 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 478 00:21:00,014 --> 00:21:04,564 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35556

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