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1
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:05,464
Hey, Stevens,
2
00:00:05,546 --> 00:00:08,966
you're still seeing that guy
who hocks adult diapers on TV?
3
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:10,343
Well, he doesn't do
that anymore,
4
00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:13,179
but, yes, he is my husband
for two years now.
5
00:00:13,262 --> 00:00:16,140
- Very cool.
- Congrats, Stevens.
6
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:17,809
- Gay married?
- Yeah.
7
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:18,769
Look at you.
8
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,896
Say, which one's the wife
and which one's the husband...
9
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,814
if you know what I mean?
10
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,608
Which part fits where?
11
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,195
Really, that's none of your
fucking business, Hooper.
12
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,865
Just fuckin' with you.
I love you, Stevens.
13
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,367
Even though you're
a big ol' homo.
14
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,993
Well, I love you, too, man.
15
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,625
Man, Stevens, I saw you
working out in the gym.
16
00:00:41,707 --> 00:00:42,960
You look good
for an old timer.
17
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,337
The boss isn't around,
18
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,213
so you can knock it off
with the digs.
19
00:00:47,296 --> 00:00:48,840
No digs,
just paying you a compliment.
20
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:49,883
Yeah.
21
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:53,052
Feel free to compliment me
if you see anything you like.
22
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:56,431
I'm married.
23
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,268
Last week I drilled
Putin's defense minister while
24
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:01,228
licking Russian caviar
off the back of his neck.
25
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,229
He was wearing
a wedding ring, too.
26
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,022
Yeah, okay.
27
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,775
I hope you won't hold it against
me when I take that promotion.
28
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:11,195
I hope you won't hold it against
me when I tell you to fuck off.
29
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:15,033
What the...?
Okay! Come on! All right!
30
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,496
So, this is awkward.
31
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,875
Our junk is touching.
32
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,794
Mission accomplished.
33
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:37,264
♪Where the bears are
We wanna be♪
34
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:44,146
SEASON 6 EPISODE 2
BEARS IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT
35
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:49,442
INQUISITIVE CHANNEL
36
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,737
They're firing you?
37
00:01:51,819 --> 00:01:53,446
Yeah, well,
the official reason is
38
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,073
they need the money for Cyril's
expanded dressing room.
39
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,784
That's outrageous!
I'm good! I'm good!
40
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,620
I'm sending my son
to grad school.
41
00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:02,079
That's not cheap, you know.
42
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,582
Cyril's getting a
bigger dressing room
43
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:04,583
and I'm not?
44
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,587
Reggie, could you put
a good word in for me, please?
45
00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:12,673
I'd be happy as a tick
on a fat dog's ass.
46
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,968
Of course, Frank,
anything for you.
47
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:16,802
You know I'm always here
for you, right?
48
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,223
Step aside, Sling Blade!
Hot Arab at 2 o'clock!
49
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,644
Sorry, only people
connected to the show
50
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:26,271
can speak to the prince,
and I don't recognize you.
51
00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:29,149
Oh, it's okay, Rami.
He works here.
52
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,526
I don't just work here,
53
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,236
I am the star of the show!
54
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,445
Didn't you see the giant poster
of me hanging on the wall
55
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,406
- as you came in?
- Oh, no, no, no.
56
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,242
I had that removed until
the one with both of us
57
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:41,494
is ready now that
we have equal billing.
58
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,539
Well, I certainly
know who you are.
59
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,290
Prince Omar Al-Fayeed,
new owner
60
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:48,168
of the Inquisitive Channel
and a huge fan of your work.
61
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,254
Oh, well, thank you.
62
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,256
I'm a huge fan of hot, hairy...
63
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,343
...Arab men with lots of money.
64
00:02:56,425 --> 00:02:57,593
I was just telling Cyril,
65
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,638
although the channel
is under new management,
66
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,348
Murder Time
with Reggie Hatch--
67
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,100
and Cyril Bowers.
68
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,685
Well, actually if you were
to go by Q ratings,
69
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,687
it should be "Murder Time
with Cyril Bowers...
70
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,231
and Reggie Hatch."
71
00:03:10,314 --> 00:03:11,692
Bam!
72
00:03:14,151 --> 00:03:17,196
Well, I consider Murder Time
to be our flagship series,
73
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,908
and it will play a crucial role
in our future plans.
74
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:20,825
Oh?
75
00:03:20,908 --> 00:03:22,870
- Watch out! Watch out!
- What the hell?
76
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,580
Assassin, assassin!
77
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,540
That is not an
assassin, you idiot.
78
00:03:26,622 --> 00:03:28,457
That's Eddie.
He's just here to make sure
79
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,711
Cyril doesn't try to chew
someone's face off.
80
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,880
Everybody's so jumpy
when I'm around,
81
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,298
but I'm really just a pussycat.
82
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,257
Meow!
83
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,552
My apologies, Your Highness.
84
00:03:40,344 --> 00:03:41,346
(buzzer sounds)
85
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,390
Oh, they need me
and Cyril on set.
86
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,683
Don't go too far,
Your Highness.
87
00:03:44,765 --> 00:03:46,350
I would love to show you
around later.
88
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,395
Maybe we can start
with my dressing room?
89
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,230
Let's go.
90
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:54,442
Do you think they suspect
why we're really here?
91
00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:57,278
No, I think we're good.
92
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:01,199
It's not exactly a brain
trust around here.
93
00:04:03,492 --> 00:04:06,120
ONE DAY BEFORE THE MURDER
94
00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:11,043
What's the issue
now, Dorkoff?
95
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,504
We are already an hour
behind schedule,
96
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,254
and I'm supposed to be
at home cooking
97
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,757
dinner for my husband's boss.
98
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,341
Where the hell is Toby?
99
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,927
Toby will be here.
100
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,721
He's wrapping up a meeting
with the producers right now.
101
00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:25,681
Oh, no, no, no, please, God.
Scott, tell me you're
102
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,350
not making him
a series regular.
103
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,144
Relax. You're going
to shoot and kill him
104
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:31,480
just as I wrote in the original
script, all right?
105
00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,274
- Thank me!
- Thank you, Jesus.
106
00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:36,526
Yeah, we're developing
a new sitcom
107
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,278
and a character
just for him.
108
00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:40,197
- He is huge in social media.
- Huge.
109
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:41,781
I've got to think
of a good name for that.
110
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,033
What about,
Everybody Loves Toby?
111
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,744
- Everybody does love Toby.
- That Darn Toby.
112
00:04:45,826 --> 00:04:47,079
- That Darn Toby.
- What's Up with Toby?
113
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,330
- What's Up with Toby?
- Toby is so darn funny!
114
00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:51,332
- Toby! Toby! Toby!
- Toby! Toby! Toby!
115
00:04:51,415 --> 00:04:53,752
- What about Not Dorkoff ?
- Yeah, exactly.
116
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,295
Powder me.
117
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,298
Stay strong, Nelson.
He will be gone soon,
118
00:04:58,382 --> 00:04:59,800
and everything
will be back to normal.
119
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,844
I sure hope so,
because I am at my wit's end.
120
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:06,764
- What is it, Kenny?
- Oh, no, nothing.
121
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,141
Kenny? Tell me,
you're my best friend.
122
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,812
You're the only person that
talks to me on this entire set.
123
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,230
Toby tweeted about you again.
124
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,732
Oh, God!
125
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:19,318
"What do you get when you breed
Nelson Dorkoff with a groundhog?
126
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,405
Six more weeks
of bad acting."
127
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,323
That's terrible,
that's terrible.
128
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,367
I'm gonna go.
I'll see you later.
129
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,661
God, I hate him!
130
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,290
Give me some concealer, please?
131
00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:34,877
More.
132
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,336
More, please.
133
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,759
I call this board
of directors' meeting
134
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,678
for Sporting Wood Limited to order.
135
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,930
I shall now commence
with the roll call.
136
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:51,225
Creative Director and Head
Designer George Ridgemont?
137
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,685
Check.
138
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,730
Chief Model and Resident
Beefcake Chuck Chambers.
139
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:59,568
Check. Founder and
CEO Woodrow Burns.
140
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,111
Woodrow Burns!
141
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,780
I can't believe
he didn't show.
142
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:04,947
That's you, Wood.
143
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,657
Oh, right.
Oh, right.
144
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:08,035
Check. So...
145
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:12,206
now, first order of business:
company expansion plans.
146
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,915
Well, I just invested
in a new dick pump
147
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,709
that gives me an even
more pronounced bulge.
148
00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:18,628
That's great, Chuck. But
I think we can go even bigger.
149
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,630
Well, sure, as long as I can
submit the bill
150
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,382
for penis-enlargement surgery
as a company expense.
151
00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:25,593
No, what I'm talking about
is starting a film division!
152
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:29,847
Oh, Wood,
that's a wonderful idea.
153
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,643
I have always been
a frustrated filmmaker,
154
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,230
ever since I was ten years old
and I did a shot-by-shot remake
155
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,856
of Cecil B. DeMille's
The Ten Commandments.
156
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:42,944
I cast my cousin as Moses
and I played Nefretiri,
157
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:46,365
originally played
by the amazing Ann Baxter.
158
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:50,618
"Oh, Moses, Moses, you lovable,
adorable fool, you!"
159
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,872
I want to make porn films!
160
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,541
I don't know, Wood.
161
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:57,500
When I signed on for this,
162
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,461
I didn't expect to be starring
in porn movies.
163
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:02,213
You don't have to worry about
that, I'm gonna be the star.
164
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,508
You just have to have
sex with me on camera.
165
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,927
Oh, well, in that case,
no problem.
166
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:10,764
And as the auteur,
in the tradition
167
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:14,268
of my creative inspirations
Hitchcock, Truffaut,
168
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,019
and of course, Almodovar,
169
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,939
I will assemble all of the
elements into a bold,
170
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,774
fresh, exciting mise-en-scène.
171
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:26,445
Yeah, about that, George,
I think that we need to have
172
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,781
an experienced porn director
on the set,
173
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:32,870
so I've already put in a call
to Sebastian St. James.
174
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,454
That man is a hack!
175
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:38,709
He has no creative style,
no sense of vision.
176
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,001
His last film,
177
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:43,588
that musical Rimming in the Rain
was a critical disaster.
178
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,967
I mean, who eats ass
in a thunderstorm?
179
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,677
Well, I'm sorry, George,
my mind is made up.
180
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:56,475
You can't be the director, but
you could be on-set fluffer.
181
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,645
Mmm, so,
182
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:04,318
you think I'm going to spend
hours on end, on my knees,
183
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:08,906
sucking on hot porn-star cock,
just to earn my paycheck?
184
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,031
Uh, yah.
185
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,658
You are so right!
186
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:16,163
We're making a movie!
187
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:21,752
♪Where the bears are
We wanna be♪
188
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,170
♪Where the bears are
Where the bears are♪
13403
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