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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,176 ("Everything's Alright" from Jesus Christ Superstar playing) 2 00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:17,727 ? Try not to get worried ? 3 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,062 ? Try not to turn on to ? 4 00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:23,232 ? Problems that upset you ? 5 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:24,734 ? Don't you know ? 6 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,569 ? Everything's alright, yes... ? 7 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,196 YOUNGER SHELLY: Hey, Morty? 8 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,781 Mort? 9 00:00:30,823 --> 00:00:35,161 (muffled): How about some sauerkraut and a Tab? 10 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,663 YOUNG SARAH (muffled): I felt it kick! I felt it kick! 11 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,957 YOUNGER SHELLY: (chuckles) Yeah, you did. That was a big one. 12 00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:41,459 ? So forget all about... ? 13 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,294 Oy, Morton! 14 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,004 ? Everything's alright, yes ? 15 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,506 ? Everything's alright, yes ? 16 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,800 (singing along): ? Sleep and I shall soothe you ? 17 00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:51,886 ? Calm you and anoint you ? 18 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,847 ? Myrrh for your hot forehead ? 19 00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:56,348 ? Then you'll feel ? 20 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,850 ? Everything's alright ? 21 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,603 ? Yes, everything's fine... ? 22 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,855 YOUNGER SHELLY: Mort. 23 00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,732 Oy, okay, go... 24 00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:06,650 Will you go get me some sauerkraut, Sarey? 25 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:09,528 Since your father doesn't care that he's got a pregnant wife. 26 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,530 ? Close your eyes, close your eyes ? 27 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,783 ? And relax, think of nothing... ? 28 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,327 I'm getting your sauerkraut, Shell. 29 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,454 ? There will be poor always... ? 30 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:21,373 YOUNGER SHELLY: Oh, Joshy, Sarey, 31 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,542 tell this baby to get out of here. 32 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,961 - Get out of here. - I'm gonna pop, you guys. 33 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,713 I'm gonna explode out of this body. 34 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:30,883 Baby, hurry, come out. 35 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:33,493 ? You'll be lost and you'll be sorry ? 36 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,294 - sync and corrections by Mr. C - - www.addic7ed.com - 37 00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:37,348 ? When I'm gone... ? 38 00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:42,311 ? Sleep and I shall soothe you ? 39 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:44,897 ? Calm you and anoint you ? 40 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:47,441 ? Myrrh for your hot forehead ? 41 00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,527 ? Then you'll feel ? 42 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,570 ? Everything's alright ? 43 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,656 ? Yes, everything's fine ? 44 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:57,576 ? And it's cool and the ointment's sweet ? 45 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,578 ? For the fire ? 46 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,580 ? In your head and feet ? 47 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,626 ? Close your eyes, close your eyes and relax ? 48 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,294 ? Think of nothing tonight ? 49 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,713 ? Close your eyes and relax ? 50 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,173 ? Think of nothing ? 51 00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:13,300 ? Close your eyes, close your eyes ? 52 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:15,010 ? And relax ? 53 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,346 ? Close your eyes, close your eyes... ? 54 00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:19,265 PEARL: So... 55 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:24,186 we were wondering if you've read the latest New Yorker. 56 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:25,729 No, I'm really behind. 57 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:28,691 Like this... far behind. Why? 58 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:31,235 Well, our esteemed leader Leslie wrote a poem in it. 59 00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:32,778 Oh, my God, that's amazing. 60 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:35,656 She's been submitting for, like, 20 years. 61 00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,867 PEARL: Your name is in the title. 62 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,285 Really? 63 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,536 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, my God. 64 00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:43,497 "My Ali, My Garcon." 65 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:46,125 "Garcon. 66 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,003 "Garcon, you cried and I came running 67 00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,422 "with my bad, old knees," Aw. 68 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,633 "Little white towel starched perfectly over my arm, 69 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,844 "not knowing the mess that awaited me 70 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,681 "You were a child without a booster chair, 71 00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,309 - wanting to play garcon..." - "You were so cute, 72 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,185 "when you asked, I said, 'Yes, ma'am, ' of course, 73 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,979 "no problem, right away 74 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:09,356 "I didn't know that you had the intellect 75 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:12,192 "of a commoner, the smarts of a wooden clog, 76 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,777 "eclipsed by your pedigree. 77 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,404 - "You stupid girl... - "You fraud 78 00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:17,656 Your pussy ate the salad fork"? 79 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,283 What the fuck does that even mean? 80 00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,702 "Then the dessert fork, then the fork-fork. 81 00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,162 "You gorged, then walked away, 82 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,372 farting flatware"? 83 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:27,791 Oh, my God. 84 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,422 (knocking on door) 85 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,179 - Hey. - Hi. 86 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,640 - How you doing? - Good. Come on in. 87 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,141 Thanks for answering my Insta... 88 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,684 Just, you know, wanted to reach out. 89 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,311 Nice of you to have me "ovah." 90 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,939 - Yeah, of course. - Wow, the light. 91 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,482 - Yeah. - It's really beautiful. 92 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:52,733 Do you want some tea? 93 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:53,984 - Oh, that would be great. - Yeah. 94 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,611 Thank you. 95 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,571 Oh, my God, you have a swing! (laughing) 96 00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:00,532 That's how I get to the office, actually, so, yeah, yeah. 97 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,201 Oh, my God. 98 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,535 (chuckles): Yeah, right? 99 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,371 - Whee! - (laughs) 100 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,706 - So fun! - Yeah. 101 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,417 - Oh. I need one of these. - It's probably happy you're riding it. 102 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,669 Wow, this is really beautiful. 103 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,253 Yeah, it's cool, right? 104 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,589 That was so funny to run into you there. 105 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:18,092 Yeah, it's funny when you see people you know. 106 00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:21,303 Um, you know, I'm not, I'm not really, like, a regular there, 107 00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,305 so I hope you weren't looking for a sponsor? 108 00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:26,684 - Oh, no. No. - Okay. 109 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,560 I mean, I probably should be, but no. 110 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,312 - I'm not there yet, but... - Okay. 111 00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:31,814 No, I just wanted to, like... 112 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,357 - just kind of... - Yeah. 113 00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:34,817 It was interesting. 114 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,568 - It was an interesting meeting. - It is, yeah. 115 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,988 - I mean, I don't... I try not to... - Thank you. 116 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,864 - to judge anybody there. - Right. 117 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,116 'Cause, obviously, it's a spiritual... 118 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,284 - You mean the freaks? All the freaks? - (laughs) 119 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:46,662 Am I, like, wrong, or is that the most unsexy group of people? 120 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:48,831 Yeah. They seem to be getting it. 121 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,374 Well, it's not just sex, it's love. 122 00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:52,084 - There's the "L," so... - There's the "L." 123 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:53,127 For sure. 124 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,881 Love. 125 00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:00,926 Yeah, I don't... 126 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,803 I don't, I don't know. 127 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:06,932 I don't think I really know what... how to actually do that. 128 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,018 Hmm. 129 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,733 Hmm. 130 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,985 I remember you and your husband. 131 00:05:18,027 --> 00:05:19,319 Len. 132 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,656 Right. 133 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,869 He's-he's a good guy. 134 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,289 My ex. 135 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,166 - Oh, sorry. - No, no, it's actually good. 136 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,417 I mean, it's weird. 137 00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:34,626 We kind of are still together. 138 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,295 - Oh. - I mean, you know, 139 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,588 there's a lot of stuff going on. 140 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:38,881 - Mm-hmm. - With... but... 141 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,466 it's just about being honest, I think. 142 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,384 - You know what I mean? - Yeah, honesty's the best. 143 00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:44,136 Like, I could totally tell him I was here. 144 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,444 Right. Why wouldn't you, right? I mean... 145 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,139 Used to lie a lot. 146 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,890 My family lies a lot. We're liars. 147 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,433 I think it's just because everyone's, like, 148 00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:51,351 in everybody's stuff, so you tell a lie, 149 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:54,021 and you just kind of can have some privacy. 150 00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,606 Totally. 151 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:58,484 I mean, secrets are kind of like a perfect stand-in 152 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,986 for, for boundaries. 153 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,571 Right? 154 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,200 - Yeah. - (chuckles): Yeah. 155 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,202 But seriously, that is really... 156 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,369 Yeah, I mean, it's natural. 157 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,954 We all... you know, you compartmentalize it, 158 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,414 so you feel like you have 159 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,166 permission structure to kind of decide 160 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,918 who you want to be that day. 161 00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:19,129 It's human. 162 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,381 ? ? 163 00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:25,803 Hi. 164 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,221 - Hi. - Hi. 165 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,264 Hi. What's all... What's the emergency? 166 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:32,059 Um, I want to come to Israel with you. 167 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,645 - What? - Yes. 168 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,605 - You do? - Yes, I really, really do. 169 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:37,940 Why? What's going on? What happened? 170 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,691 Well, I just... because I want to go, 171 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,944 and-and, you know, I want to stand on that ground, 172 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,695 and I want to feel all that history, 173 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,197 - and-and... - Yeah? 174 00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:47,533 the suffering, and the bloodshed and just all that 175 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,368 real stuff, you know? 176 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,996 And just get away from the bullshit of nothingness here. 177 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:56,333 And this... fucking poem about my pussy 178 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,001 that is in this week's New Yorker. 179 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,386 You don't have to read the whole thing. 180 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,555 Don't read the whole thing. 181 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,098 What's with the fork? 182 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,394 There's also that family that's living at the house, 183 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,020 and-and they're there for a whole month, 184 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,897 and they're just there. I-I can't, 185 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:22,442 I can't live underneath that guy, you know? 186 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,611 Listen, I don't want you to just say yes 187 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,196 because you're afraid of hurting my feelings. 188 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,157 I only want you to say yes if it's... 189 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,993 if it's what you really feel, if it's true. 190 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:36,415 What are you doing? This is mean. 191 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,208 I would love you to come. 192 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,418 - Really? - What are you... 193 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,544 - Of course... - Really, really, really? 194 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:41,670 Really, really. 195 00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:43,422 (laughs) 196 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,008 - What's going on here? - What? 197 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,427 - You need to scrub. - No, stop. 198 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,720 SARAH: You must be really good at that. 199 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:50,804 With the teaching and every... 200 00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,556 you know, like, compartmentalizing. 201 00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,933 I don't... do not know how you handle all those kids. 202 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,436 I would fucking kill myself. 203 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:01,064 Yeah. It's, uh, you know, there's-there's tools. 204 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,524 - Really? - Yeah. 205 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,026 Please. Please, help. 206 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,236 'Cause I'm so tired of, like, raging. 207 00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:07,696 Mm. 208 00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:10,282 I have this belief that... 209 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:14,661 when you're born, you know, you're kind of... perfect. 210 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,830 You know, you just have so much wonder. 211 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:20,167 And then, you get older, 212 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:23,670 and... you know, you get dumb. 213 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,797 So that's why I like to give them the power. 214 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,216 - Clever. - Yeah. 215 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,967 Or let them think they have the power. 216 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,595 - Kind of like bottoming. - Yeah, but you're the bottom... 217 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,055 You're actually the top, but you're on the bottom. 218 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,473 - Right, right, right. - You know? 219 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,933 Yeah. So, like, bottoming your kids? 220 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,726 - (both laugh) - That's a good... 221 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,186 Put it that way, yeah. 222 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:41,063 And then the kids are... 223 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,272 The kids are... 224 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,690 BOTH: The kids are on top. 225 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,776 (both laughing) 226 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,694 Kids on top! 227 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,279 Joshy? 228 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:51,031 - JOSH: Yeah? - Come here, tushy. 229 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,033 I need a little help. 230 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,618 - I'm taking you down. - Oy, oy, oy! 231 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:55,911 Ooh, you're so strong. 232 00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:56,912 What is this? 233 00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,330 I came up with a system. 234 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:01,416 It's-it's called Steps for Cents and... 235 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,543 So I don't fritter away my condo profits. 236 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:07,297 What's this "300,000 steps"? 237 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:11,093 Once I do the 300,000 steps, then I'm allowed 238 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:15,514 to spend $100 in fun money. 239 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,557 Who-Who's allowing you? 240 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,893 - I am. - Mom, it's your nest egg. 241 00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,395 I'm allowing me. 242 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,313 You don't have to be so stingy with yourself. 243 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:24,720 Why is this so difficult to understand? 244 00:09:24,722 --> 00:09:26,692 - Why-why... Hey, hey! - Ooh, ooh, ooh! 245 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,777 Don't poke me. 246 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,779 You have a very sharp fingernail. 247 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:34,825 Okay. 248 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,578 - Um... - Well... 249 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,039 - I-I got to be somewhere. - Where? 250 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,750 Um... somewhere. 251 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,378 - Well, where? - I-I got to go. 252 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,884 ? ? 253 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:57,556 ? Oh, oh, oh, oh ? 254 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:04,271 - ? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... ? - (leaf blower whirring) 255 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,898 RITA: Hey! Hey! 256 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,737 You going in there? 257 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,869 Hey! Hey! 258 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:19,870 Rita? 259 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,580 (leaf blower stops) 260 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,707 - Um... - You came back! 261 00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:26,501 Yeah. 262 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,671 I mean, I got a lot out of it last time. 263 00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:32,341 Ah. So now you're a victim? 264 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,218 I was a victim. 265 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,429 Hey, you chased after me. 266 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,931 Yeah. I was 14, you were 20. 267 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,684 And it didn't matter. Did it? 268 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:54,696 Hey, there's something I really wanted to ask you. 269 00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,823 Did you jump? 270 00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,535 (scoffs) 271 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:04,831 I... swan dived. 272 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:07,876 You know, something that I didn't know was, 273 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:10,712 when you get to the waiting room in the afterlife, 274 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:14,174 suicides get to the front of the line. 275 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,059 I got to get in there. 276 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:26,937 You know... 277 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,730 why don't I go in with you? 278 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:29,773 Come on. 279 00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:35,362 I'll just... give you comfort. 280 00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:37,406 Come on. 281 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,121 Leave me alone. 282 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,041 (Rita scoffs) 283 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,592 MARTIN: I sat in this meeting 284 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,302 for three months, 285 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:02,681 listening to everyone say how great their life was. 286 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,267 But I still felt like shit. 287 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:09,062 And I was like, really? I can't even jack off? 288 00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:11,481 - (piano plays glissando) - What's the fucking point? 289 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:16,361 Then I got a sponsor, started working the steps, 290 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,363 and that's when my life started to change. 291 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,823 (whispering): Go away. 292 00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,200 I'm just making sure you're not changing the story. 293 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,036 MARTIN: Thank you for listening. I'll be back. 294 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:34,171 (Latin music playing quietly over speakers) 295 00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,860 ? ? 296 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,545 Excuse me. Excuse me. Wh-What is this? 297 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:18,048 Uh, Upright Citizens Brigade. 298 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,758 What's that? 299 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,844 It's improv. A performance. 300 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:26,223 Wonderful. 301 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,475 (chuckles) Okay. 302 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,645 Sumo Orgy 101. 303 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:34,731 - (all groaning and grunting) - (laughter) 304 00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,858 WOMAN: I've never quite seen sex dogs like this, 305 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,277 but these are absolutely the best dogs I've ever seen. 306 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,612 They're all best in show! 307 00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,906 No, don't do it! Don't do it, chickens! 308 00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:46,743 (crowd cheering) 309 00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:49,329 BRIDGET: All right. Okay, last round. 310 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:52,082 Can we get one more suggestion? 311 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,291 Sauerkraut! 312 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,669 Sauerkraut. That is awesome. 313 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,629 Okay, sauerkraut it is. 314 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,673 (crowd cheering) 315 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,927 BRIDGET: Do you need $500 for your parking ticket? 316 00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,470 WOMAN: I mean, yes. 317 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,347 Are you offering me $500 to pay my parking ticket? 318 00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:10,225 Excuse me. I'm the sauerkraut lady. 319 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,269 Oh! You're the sauerkraut lady. 320 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,646 Fantastic. That's my-my favorite suggestion of the night. 321 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,147 Oh! G-Good. 322 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,607 - Bye. - Bye. 323 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,569 So do you, you perform here... a regular basis? 324 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,821 Yeah. And I teach some classes. 325 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,823 Oh. 326 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,866 Uh... Oh. 327 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,618 Isn't that... 328 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,287 That-that-that's terrific. 329 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:32,330 Yeah. It's fun. I-I come from improv. 330 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,957 I always want to spread the word. 331 00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,667 You know, the art of it. 332 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:39,296 I could, I could tell, uh, that there was an art to it. 333 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,006 - Yeah. - Yes, and to life. 334 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,258 - Yes, and to life. - There you go. Nice to meet you. 335 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,594 Thank you. 336 00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:54,185 (grunting) 337 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,564 Lila. 338 00:14:57,606 --> 00:15:01,151 Lila. (sighs) 339 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,281 (moans): Oh. 340 00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,745 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. 341 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,788 Do you feel my wet pussy on your ass? 342 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,790 Oh, yes, yes. 343 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,959 (moaning) 344 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,545 (hisses) I want to see you. 345 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,632 I want to see you. I want to see you. 346 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,759 (exhales) 347 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,511 (panting) 348 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,597 (moaning) 349 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,851 - Yeah. - LEN: Have you seen my phone? 350 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:37,937 Hey. So, I was just... 351 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,856 No, no, I know what you're doing. 352 00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:42,275 - (chuckles) - Wow. Dirty bird. 353 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,319 I don't know what's wrong with me. 354 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,905 - Fucking dirty. - I have, like, a perma-boner. 355 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,698 Yeah, you were super horny last night, too. 356 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,825 I know. Ya know, ya know. 357 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,118 I don't think that's what you're supposed to be getting 358 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,453 out of these sex addicts meetings. 359 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,455 Getting all drummed up. 360 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:59,209 You want some of this? 361 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,586 Fuck yeah. 362 00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,095 Fuck. 363 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,305 You're so wet. 364 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,849 What were you thinking about? 365 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,061 You. 366 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,107 Mm. 367 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,276 ? ? 368 00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,260 (Davina and Sal shouting indistinctly) 369 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,387 SAL: You act like it's my fault that the transmission blew. 370 00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:53,888 - DAVINA: You never check things. - I check. 371 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,306 - You never take time... - It's not my fault. 372 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,142 - It is, too. - The transmission is blown. 373 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,518 DAVINA: Well, it's your fault that the AAA check bounced, 374 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,103 - isn't it? - Well, it only bounced 375 00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:01,730 because the check that Jimmy wrote me bounced. Okay? 376 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,898 And how does this surprise you? Why is this surprising to you? 377 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,316 SAL: You look great. 378 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,943 Thank you. 379 00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,280 So sorry. You all right? 380 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,781 Uh, yeah. 381 00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,074 Can I wear these? 382 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,492 Well, yeah, you could... yeah. 383 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,785 I'm going out with Donald. 384 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:17,162 Yes? Yes, yes, yes, yes? 385 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,413 Looks great, honey. 386 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,333 I'm never going on a trip with him again. 387 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,752 Mm. 388 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,838 - Okay, honest. - Yeah? 389 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,382 This? This? 390 00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:30,842 I like the one you're wearing. 391 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,135 - This one. - Mm-hmm. 392 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,344 Yeah, it's great. 393 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,013 I mean, slimming, right? 394 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,308 - Are you okay? - I'm really good. 395 00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,476 Where are you going on your date? 396 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,019 Oh, we're just gonna... 397 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,771 I'm going to his place. 398 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,272 Are you... Where is that? 399 00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:45,565 Um... 400 00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:47,025 Northridge. 401 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,110 Yeah. 402 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,322 ? ? 403 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,388 ? The wind has gone ? 404 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,141 ? The invisible come ? 405 00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:23,436 ? Your memories are being run ? 406 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:24,479 (keypad beeping) 407 00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,858 ? The mountain scarred ? 408 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,652 (door buzzes) 409 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,445 ? By invisible bars ? 410 00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:36,574 ? The stillness is on guard... ? 411 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,244 Oh, Jesus. 412 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,453 God. 413 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,038 ? Oh, the wind will come ? 414 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,248 (sighs) 415 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,084 ? Blow ? 416 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,462 ? Answer echo's answer ? 417 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,842 (sniffles) 418 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:58,680 ? The mountain mine ? 419 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:01,766 ? From invisible time ? 420 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,060 ? I am next in line... ? 421 00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,520 (knocking on door) 422 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,399 You have to fix your elevator. 423 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,276 I'm sorry about the elevator. 424 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,820 - I'm so sorry. - Almost left the chicken on the stairs. 425 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:18,575 ? From incline to incline ? 426 00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,619 ? Oh. ? 427 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,415 Lordy. 428 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:26,875 (grunts) 429 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,501 What did you do? 430 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,003 My goodness. 431 00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:32,797 It's too bad I can't come with you. 432 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,257 Too bored in Israel. 433 00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,301 I'll give you a warm bed. 434 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,760 Oh, yeah? 435 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:41,723 I would be in the hotel, keeping the bed warm. 436 00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:44,058 Hard for you all day. 437 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,144 MAURA: Then what would you do? 438 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,313 Suck on those tits. 439 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,982 (whispers): Daddy. 440 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:54,944 Hey, you should watch the live-stream of my lecture. 441 00:19:56,779 --> 00:20:00,825 Oh, I'm not interested in lectures, babe. 442 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,494 I've got all the gender and Judaism I need 443 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,331 right here with you. 444 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,458 (chuckles) 445 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,501 (clears throat) 446 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:16,382 DAVINA (moaning): Oh, my God. 447 00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:19,761 Oh, yeah. That's really... 448 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:22,388 Don't ever stop doing the thing that's happening. 449 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,015 Ooh. 450 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:27,936 Oh, that's really... that's incredible. 451 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,774 (moaning) 452 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,779 - Ooh, my kidneys! Off, off! - Okay. Okay. Okay. 453 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:40,782 - All right. - (grunts) 454 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,076 (groans, hisses) 455 00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,495 - (exhales) - It's okay. 456 00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:49,207 No, please don't touch... don't, just... 457 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,750 You know, baby, I wish you'd go back 458 00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,752 to that acupuncture girl, huh? 459 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:55,421 She was helping you. 460 00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:57,840 I've been taking these meds for 20 years. 461 00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:01,135 I don't think sticking a needle in me for 45 bucks a pop 462 00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:03,429 is gonna save my kidneys. 463 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,890 Yeah, but what can it hurt? 464 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:09,227 (sighs) We can't afford any more bills. 465 00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:17,777 (sighs) 466 00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,823 (knock on door) 467 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:24,033 ALI: Hi. 468 00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,910 - Hello. - How are you? 469 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,371 - Uh, good. Yeah. - Good. 470 00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:30,248 Um, is your husband home? 471 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:34,669 No, he's, um, gone out for... procedure. 472 00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:36,212 Um, I just wanted to let him know, 473 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,965 you and the whole family, that I'm-I'm going away. 474 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,383 So... 475 00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:42,301 - I won't be downstairs. - Okay. 476 00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:45,471 I'm-I'm going to Israel for a week. 477 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,932 Why Israel? 478 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:50,893 Well, my mom is going, so... 479 00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:54,147 But really 'cause... 480 00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,690 I don't know just... (sighs) 481 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:58,985 this crazy world and these crazy times, you know. 482 00:21:59,027 --> 00:22:01,988 Just... just such bad anxiety. 483 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,573 I have anxiety, too. 484 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:05,324 - You do? - Yeah. 485 00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:08,494 Do you feel like it's-it's kind of like 486 00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:11,873 your body, you know, telling you something about what it needs? 487 00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:16,044 I-I feel like it's-it's my body screaming at me, you know. 488 00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,462 "You're in the wrong place. 489 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,380 You are in the wrong place." 490 00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:21,215 - Okay. - Okay. 491 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,884 Okay. 492 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:24,927 MAURA: ? Try not to get worried ? 493 00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:27,096 ? Try not to get wor... ? 494 00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:29,474 ? To get worried now ? 495 00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:30,933 ? Don't you know ? 496 00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:32,518 ? Everything's all right now ? 497 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,479 BOTH: ? Everything's fine ? 498 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:35,344 (Maura hums) 499 00:22:35,346 --> 00:22:37,816 Oh, my God, you guys were obsessed with that. 500 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:40,526 - (hums) - Okay, let's do our idiot check. 501 00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:42,278 Idiot check. 502 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,322 - ? Try not to get worried ? - What are you doing? 503 00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:47,283 - ? Try not to get... ? - That is ridiculous looking. 504 00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:49,243 You look like an orphan who got separated from her parents. 505 00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:51,245 Stop. I am an orphan. 506 00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:52,747 This is not... 507 00:22:52,789 --> 00:22:57,085 this is very sort of Kindertransport sort of... 508 00:22:57,126 --> 00:22:59,253 please, take care of this bear. 509 00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,047 It's extremely triggering. 510 00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:02,882 Well, you are too easily triggered. 511 00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:05,343 (sighs) 512 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,428 ? Try not to get worried ? 513 00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:09,305 ? Try not to get worried ? 514 00:23:09,347 --> 00:23:11,349 ? Try not to get worried now. ? 515 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,350 What is that? 516 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,351 ALI: Pot gummies. 517 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:14,769 MAURA: What? 518 00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:16,354 - Pot gummies. Here. - (whispers): Marijuana? 519 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,772 Yeah. 520 00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:19,190 It's medical marijuana. 521 00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:21,275 It's fine. It's legal. Everybody has it. 522 00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:24,153 It's illegal and you cannot take it on a plane. 523 00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:25,404 First of all, we're gonna eat it. 524 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:26,531 (whispers): I have Xanax. 525 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:28,282 - This is Xanax. - And I have... 526 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:29,826 Why would you take that ugly, yucky pharmaceutical stuff 527 00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:31,452 when nature made you Xanax 528 00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:34,247 and put it in this delicious, cute, little gummy bear? 529 00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:39,252 I-I was just gonna have you eat the head. 530 00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:41,546 Well, surely the head is not enough. 531 00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:44,340 You're gonna be so high. 532 00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:49,095 (humming) 533 00:23:51,973 --> 00:23:54,392 ("The Temple" from Jesus Christ Superstar playing) 534 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:15,663 ? Roll on up for the price is down ? 535 00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:17,874 ? Come on in for the best in town ? 536 00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:20,251 ? Take your pick of the finest wine ? 537 00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:22,336 ? Lay your bets on this bird of mine ? 538 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:24,380 ? Roll on up for the price is down ? 539 00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:26,382 ? Come on in for the best in town ? 540 00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:28,718 ? Take your pick of the finest wine ? 541 00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:30,428 ? Lay your bets on this bird of mine ? 542 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:32,388 ? Name your price, I've got everything ? 543 00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:34,098 ? Come on, buy, it's going fast ? 544 00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:36,100 ? Borrow cash on the finest terms ? 545 00:24:36,142 --> 00:24:38,519 ? Hurry now, it's going fast ? 546 00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:40,438 ? Roll on up for the price is down ? 547 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,398 ? Come on in for the best in town ? 548 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,358 ? Take your pick of the finest wine ? 549 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,444 ? Lay your bets on this bird of mine ? 550 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,362 ? Roll on up for the price is down ? 551 00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:50,406 ? Come on in for the best in town ? 552 00:24:50,448 --> 00:24:52,283 ? Take your pick of the finest wine ? 553 00:24:52,325 --> 00:24:54,452 ? Lay your bets on this bird of mine ? 554 00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:56,454 ? Name your price, I've got everything ? 555 00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,581 ? Come on, buy, it's going fast ? 556 00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:01,250 ? Borrow cash on the finest terms... ? 557 00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:03,294 ? ? 558 00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:21,312 ? Roll on up for the price is down ? 559 00:25:21,354 --> 00:25:22,897 ? Come on in for the best in town ? 560 00:25:22,939 --> 00:25:25,483 ? Take your pick of the finest wine ? 561 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,485 ? Lay your bets on this bird of mine ? 562 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,528 ? Roll on up for the price is down ? 563 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:32,490 ? Come on in for the best in town ? 564 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:36,953 ? My temple should be ? 565 00:25:36,994 --> 00:25:40,206 ? A house of prayer ? 566 00:25:40,248 --> 00:25:43,542 ? But you have made it ? 567 00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:45,836 ? A den of thieves ? 568 00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,296 ? Ah, oh. ? 569 00:25:47,338 --> 00:25:48,756 AGENT: Wait right here, ma'am. 570 00:25:48,798 --> 00:25:53,135 Hold up. We're gonna have to pat you down. 571 00:25:54,387 --> 00:25:56,514 Oh. Why-why? 572 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,599 You've got a groin anomaly. 573 00:26:00,142 --> 00:26:01,727 (Maura chuckles) 574 00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:03,521 I'm sorry, what? 575 00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,273 - AGENT: A groin anomaly. - What's happening, Mom? 576 00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:06,857 Back up, ma'am. 577 00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:08,442 ALI: What's going on? Why are you hassling her? 578 00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:11,070 I have a groin anomaly. 579 00:26:11,112 --> 00:26:14,240 AGENT: I have to pat you down. 580 00:26:14,282 --> 00:26:16,367 - Um... - Okay. Whatever you people are doing, 581 00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:18,953 - I'm recording it. - AGENT: Ma'am, you can put that away. 582 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:21,455 I am not gonna put it away and please don't call me "ma'am." 583 00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,873 - Shh, take it easy. - AGENT: Ma'am. 584 00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:25,418 - Um... Ma'am. - I have to pat you down. 585 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:27,712 May I talk to you? 586 00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:30,548 I'm trans. Do you understand what that is? 587 00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:32,675 I have, um... 588 00:26:32,717 --> 00:26:34,135 I have a penis. 589 00:26:34,176 --> 00:26:36,137 Oh, then we're gonna need a male agent. 590 00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:38,014 Matt. 591 00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:40,433 - Yeah. - MAURA: Hi, Matt. I'm, um... 592 00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:42,310 I can't pat her down; you need to pat her down. 593 00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:44,603 I can't pat her down. She's got a penis. 594 00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:46,856 - Well, she's a woman, right? - Well... 595 00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,524 - You know, I don't really... - No, he said he's got a penis. 596 00:26:48,566 --> 00:26:50,443 - I don't mind who pats me down. - ALI: What is going on? 597 00:26:50,484 --> 00:26:51,736 Sorry, just give us one minute. 598 00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:53,112 No, I would like to know what's going on with my mother. 599 00:26:53,154 --> 00:26:54,488 - AGENT: I have to pat you down. - Um... 600 00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:55,573 Ma'am, you need to back up and give us some space. 601 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:56,782 ALI: Is this because she's trans? 602 00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:57,950 Aren't you people trained in this? 603 00:26:57,992 --> 00:26:58,993 Please, turn off your phone. 604 00:26:59,035 --> 00:27:00,244 - ALI: No. - I'm sorry. 605 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:01,412 I'm just, uh... please, pat me down. 606 00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:02,663 Hold on one moment, ma'am. 607 00:27:02,705 --> 00:27:04,623 Can I get a supervisor over here? 608 00:27:04,665 --> 00:27:07,251 Please, put your hand down. I have every right to film this. 609 00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:09,211 - MAURA: Hi. - SUPERVISOR: What's the situation here? 610 00:27:09,253 --> 00:27:11,047 MAURA: Here's the situation. I'm trans. 611 00:27:11,088 --> 00:27:13,632 I have a penis. Pat me down. 612 00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:15,593 All right? If you want me to be a man 613 00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:17,094 to pat me down, I'll be a man. 614 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:19,805 If you want me to be a woman, I'll be a woman. 615 00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:23,267 If you want me to be a fucking chicken, I'll be a chicken. 616 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:24,602 Okay, you're gonna have to pat her down. 617 00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,145 Just make sure to get high in the thigh. 618 00:27:26,187 --> 00:27:27,897 - Okay. - Lord have mercy. 619 00:27:27,938 --> 00:27:29,690 ? See my tongue, I can hardly talk ? 620 00:27:29,732 --> 00:27:32,109 ? See my skin, I'm a mass of blood ? 621 00:27:32,151 --> 00:27:34,487 ? See my legs, I can hardly stand ? 622 00:27:34,528 --> 00:27:36,447 ? I believe you can make me well ? 623 00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:38,699 ? See my purse, I'm a poor, poor man ? 624 00:27:38,741 --> 00:27:40,701 ? Will you touch, will you mend me, Christ? ? 625 00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:42,912 ? Won't you touch, will you heal me, Christ? ? 626 00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:44,914 ? Will you kiss, can you cure me, Christ? ? 627 00:27:44,955 --> 00:27:46,999 ? Won't you kiss, won't you pay me, Christ? ? 628 00:27:47,041 --> 00:27:48,959 ? See my eyes, I can hardly see ? 629 00:27:49,001 --> 00:27:51,045 ? See me stand, I can hardly walk ? 630 00:27:51,087 --> 00:27:53,172 ? I believe you can make me whole ? 631 00:27:53,214 --> 00:27:55,132 ? See my tongue, I can hardly talk ? 632 00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:57,176 ? See my skin, I'm a mass of blood ? 633 00:27:57,218 --> 00:27:59,136 ? See my legs, I can hardly stand ? 634 00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:01,097 ? I believe you can make me well ? 635 00:28:01,138 --> 00:28:03,224 ? See my purse, I'm a poor, poor man ? 636 00:28:03,265 --> 00:28:05,101 ? Will you touch, will you mend me, Christ? ? 637 00:28:05,142 --> 00:28:07,144 ? Won't you touch, will you heal me, Christ? ? 638 00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:09,105 ? Will you kiss, will you cure me, Christ? ? 639 00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:11,107 ? Won't you kiss, won't you pay me, Christ? ? 640 00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:12,108 ? See my eyes... ? 641 00:28:12,149 --> 00:28:14,902 ? Ooh, there's too many of you ? 642 00:28:14,944 --> 00:28:18,406 ? Don't push me ? 643 00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:21,367 ? Oh, there's too little of me ? 644 00:28:21,409 --> 00:28:23,786 ? Don't, don't crowd me ? 645 00:28:23,828 --> 00:28:26,455 ? Mm, don't crowd me. ? 646 00:28:26,505 --> 00:28:31,055 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 45147

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