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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,398 --> 00:00:10,934 Now, that's my kind of man. 2 00:00:11,034 --> 00:00:13,136 Anybody can be your kind of man. 3 00:00:13,236 --> 00:00:15,171 - Oh, hi. - Hi. 4 00:00:15,271 --> 00:00:16,639 Ask him to join us. 5 00:00:16,732 --> 00:00:18,555 - Hi. - What's your name, honey? 6 00:00:18,904 --> 00:00:19,972 Josh. 7 00:00:20,072 --> 00:00:22,112 He looks like he doesn't belong here. 8 00:00:22,138 --> 00:00:23,139 [Knocking on door] 9 00:00:23,183 --> 00:00:24,644 - Hi. - Hi. 10 00:00:24,668 --> 00:00:25,904 - Hi, papi. - Hey. 11 00:00:25,987 --> 00:00:27,989 - Come on in. - Thanks. 12 00:00:28,658 --> 00:00:30,608 - How are you? - Um... 13 00:00:30,708 --> 00:00:31,876 Oh, thank you. Come on in. 14 00:00:31,976 --> 00:00:33,511 I am not as good as I wanna be. 15 00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:35,187 What's up? 16 00:00:37,148 --> 00:00:39,078 Um, stuff at work. 17 00:00:39,261 --> 00:00:41,829 - This is nice. - Thank you. 18 00:00:41,929 --> 00:00:43,398 What's going on at work? 19 00:00:43,498 --> 00:00:45,967 Uh, I don't work there anymore. 20 00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:48,836 - [Chuckles] - What happened? 21 00:00:48,936 --> 00:00:51,205 We had a falling out. 22 00:00:51,306 --> 00:00:53,575 - It's not the end of the world. - No, but... 23 00:00:53,675 --> 00:00:55,410 - I need to go out on my own. - Yeah. 24 00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:57,645 - I need to get out of my comfort zone. - Uh-huh. 25 00:00:57,745 --> 00:00:59,281 I need to... 26 00:00:59,347 --> 00:01:01,749 it's time for me to have my own label. 27 00:01:01,849 --> 00:01:03,618 I was even thinking that, 28 00:01:03,718 --> 00:01:06,454 - if we sold the house soon... - Mmhmm. 29 00:01:06,554 --> 00:01:09,291 We could maybe even use some of the proceeds 30 00:01:09,357 --> 00:01:13,194 to, you know, fund my new record label. 31 00:01:13,295 --> 00:01:15,162 All right. Well, let me contemplate. 32 00:01:15,297 --> 00:01:18,533 I... if I do... 33 00:01:18,633 --> 00:01:22,337 Um, we certainly don't tell your siblings. 34 00:01:22,437 --> 00:01:23,905 Sure. Yeah. 35 00:01:24,005 --> 00:01:26,841 I think we could do that. 36 00:01:26,941 --> 00:01:29,411 And, um... 37 00:01:29,511 --> 00:01:32,113 Did your sisters talk about... 38 00:01:32,213 --> 00:01:33,848 What's going on with me? 39 00:01:33,948 --> 00:01:37,218 Yeah, um... 40 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:38,920 Yeah, I gotta say, 41 00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:41,423 they kind of made it seem like 42 00:01:41,523 --> 00:01:43,325 you were parading around town in a dress. 43 00:01:43,425 --> 00:01:44,426 [Chuckles] 44 00:01:44,526 --> 00:01:48,095 But you look totally normal, 45 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:50,432 except for, like, your pony tail's longer. 46 00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:53,201 Oh, well, these are... these are clip-ins. 47 00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:54,335 You know, they just... 48 00:01:54,435 --> 00:01:55,937 - kind of fun, right? - Yeah. 49 00:01:56,037 --> 00:01:59,207 - Make the whole thing longer. - I'm cool with it. 50 00:02:06,971 --> 00:02:08,138 What do you make of all this? 51 00:02:08,213 --> 00:02:10,315 Is there anything you wanna say to me? 52 00:02:12,584 --> 00:02:13,585 I get it. 53 00:02:13,685 --> 00:02:15,787 - You do? - Yeah. 54 00:02:15,887 --> 00:02:18,157 You could say anything. You can ask any question. 55 00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:20,692 Whatever people want to do behind closed doors... 56 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,026 Oh, closed doors. 57 00:02:22,161 --> 00:02:24,529 That's their business, you know? 58 00:02:40,945 --> 00:02:43,014 Can I go to the bathroom? 59 00:02:43,182 --> 00:02:45,450 It's through the bedroom. 60 00:03:43,395 --> 00:03:45,840 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 61 00:03:47,587 --> 00:03:49,414 I think dad's losing his mind. 62 00:03:49,514 --> 00:03:51,716 I went online and looked up his symptoms. 63 00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:54,619 The first sign of dementia is a change in personality. 64 00:03:54,719 --> 00:03:56,488 It's not dementia. 65 00:03:56,588 --> 00:03:58,423 Like, he has to be the center of attention, you know? 66 00:03:58,523 --> 00:03:59,791 Like at Zacky's third birthday 67 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,360 when he showed up in the beekeeper costume? 68 00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:04,430 - That was hysterical. - No, it wasn't. 69 00:04:04,456 --> 00:04:06,164 - It was inappropriate. - Oh, God. 70 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:07,699 You guys think it's real. 71 00:04:07,799 --> 00:04:10,034 - It is real. - It's definitely real. 72 00:04:10,134 --> 00:04:11,297 Okay, so what does this mean? 73 00:04:11,337 --> 00:04:12,672 Everything dad has said and done 74 00:04:12,772 --> 00:04:14,174 before this moment is a sham? 75 00:04:14,274 --> 00:04:17,343 Like, he was just acting the whole time? 76 00:04:17,443 --> 00:04:18,611 No. 77 00:04:20,659 --> 00:04:22,635 It just means we all have to start over. 78 00:04:23,817 --> 00:04:27,220 Which is why I am going back to school. 79 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,988 Syd told me about a program at SMC 80 00:04:29,089 --> 00:04:30,390 that sounds perfect for me. 81 00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:32,258 - Here we go. - Here we go where? 82 00:04:32,358 --> 00:04:33,959 - Ali's got an interest. - Oh, yeah. 83 00:04:34,094 --> 00:04:35,561 She's gonna sign up. Buy some books. 84 00:04:35,661 --> 00:04:37,197 Oh, and dad's gonna pay the registration fee? 85 00:04:37,297 --> 00:04:39,599 Yeah, she's gonna need a new wardrobe. 86 00:04:39,699 --> 00:04:41,767 - Dad's gonna get her some school shoes. - School shoes. 87 00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:44,970 Dad's gotta buy some clothes. What about when 88 00:04:45,105 --> 00:04:47,240 - dad got her the loom? - Loom! 89 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:49,642 [Laughs] Loom! 90 00:04:49,742 --> 00:04:52,245 The loom. Loom! 91 00:04:52,345 --> 00:04:54,380 - Loom! - You're back on dairy. 92 00:04:56,349 --> 00:04:59,985 Look at those children playing. 93 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,022 [Sighs] We make gorgeous children. 94 00:05:03,123 --> 00:05:05,024 We do. 95 00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:08,294 A happy, sexy Sunday to you. 96 00:05:08,394 --> 00:05:11,197 One single malt coming right... 97 00:05:11,297 --> 00:05:13,566 - I have a favor to ask. - Hmm. 98 00:05:17,537 --> 00:05:18,904 Can we try something different? 99 00:05:19,004 --> 00:05:20,373 Oh, God in all heaven, 100 00:05:20,473 --> 00:05:22,175 don't tell me it's the cock ring again. 101 00:05:22,275 --> 00:05:24,577 No, no, no, it's not the cock ring. 102 00:05:25,845 --> 00:05:27,147 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 103 00:05:27,213 --> 00:05:29,382 So I'm reading this article in esquire. 104 00:05:29,482 --> 00:05:31,417 - Yeah, go on. - And there's these guys... 105 00:05:31,517 --> 00:05:32,752 listen to me. 106 00:05:32,852 --> 00:05:34,187 I'm listening. I'm listening. 107 00:05:34,287 --> 00:05:36,156 And they wear their wives' underpants... 108 00:05:36,256 --> 00:05:38,158 - Oh, continue. What? - Shh. 109 00:05:38,191 --> 00:05:39,659 [Laughing] 110 00:05:39,759 --> 00:05:40,860 What? Okay. All right. 111 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,195 I'm listening. I'm here. 112 00:05:42,295 --> 00:05:43,596 I'm right here. I'm looking at you. 113 00:05:43,696 --> 00:05:47,767 So they wear their wives' underpants... 114 00:05:47,867 --> 00:05:51,971 And they become suddenly... 115 00:05:52,172 --> 00:05:54,240 18, you know? You understand? 116 00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:56,376 - Ooh, this is good. - Yeah. 117 00:05:56,476 --> 00:05:57,877 - This is very good. - This is very good. 118 00:05:57,977 --> 00:05:58,978 So do you have a pair that, 119 00:05:59,078 --> 00:06:00,513 you know, I could wear? 120 00:06:00,613 --> 00:06:03,683 I might stretch them out a little bit, but... 121 00:06:03,783 --> 00:06:05,851 [Laughing] 122 00:06:09,322 --> 00:06:11,357 So it's women's studies and gender studies. 123 00:06:11,457 --> 00:06:12,958 - Oh. - I'm so excited. 124 00:06:13,058 --> 00:06:15,461 I just really feel like I finally, like... 125 00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:17,930 I've been, like, so, like, curious and fascinated 126 00:06:18,030 --> 00:06:19,699 and obsessed all these years, but didn't know what to do. 127 00:06:19,799 --> 00:06:23,035 And now I just feel like there's a direct, you know, path 128 00:06:23,203 --> 00:06:24,437 and some structure. 129 00:06:24,537 --> 00:06:26,105 I think it's going to be great. 130 00:06:26,206 --> 00:06:27,673 I think so too. I think it's wonderful. 131 00:06:27,773 --> 00:06:30,563 It's all totally thanks to you, so thank you. 132 00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:32,057 - Really? Little old me? - Yeah. 133 00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:35,503 Because I'm a renowned scholar and academic? 134 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:36,637 Well... 135 00:06:36,737 --> 00:06:38,606 - Just say yes. - Yes. 136 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,994 I'm very proud of you. 137 00:06:41,042 --> 00:06:44,479 I always told you, you have the brain. 138 00:06:44,579 --> 00:06:46,915 You have books in you, young lady. 139 00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:49,718 You know, it's good. You have a big intelligence. 140 00:06:49,818 --> 00:06:51,788 Well, I don't know about books. 141 00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:54,490 - I mean, it's the gender stuff... - Uhhuh. 142 00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:57,325 You know, that I'm really excited by, and... 143 00:06:57,493 --> 00:06:58,994 Oh, I'm so excited for you. 144 00:06:59,094 --> 00:07:01,029 - Um, thanks. - Really? 145 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,565 You know, I saw so much 146 00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:05,901 of myself in you when you were... 147 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:08,504 when you were just young and growing up 148 00:07:08,537 --> 00:07:11,272 and experimenting in your gender confusion. 149 00:07:11,372 --> 00:07:12,908 What do you mean, my gender confusion? 150 00:07:13,008 --> 00:07:15,410 Oh, you know, you were such a tomboy. 151 00:07:15,511 --> 00:07:16,812 [Speaks Hebrew] 152 00:07:16,912 --> 00:07:18,780 You know, neither here nor there. 153 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,783 Some people say it runs in the blood. 154 00:07:21,883 --> 00:07:24,886 Um, so... 155 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,789 Should I just call Howard, or what? 156 00:07:27,889 --> 00:07:30,358 - You mean about the money? - Yeah. 157 00:07:30,526 --> 00:07:32,528 'Cause I have to register and stuff, 158 00:07:32,561 --> 00:07:33,795 like, tomorrow maybe. 159 00:07:33,895 --> 00:07:35,077 - You know, um... - Not, like, seven. 160 00:07:35,103 --> 00:07:36,832 If you could do me a favor, you don't tell Josh 161 00:07:36,932 --> 00:07:38,333 and you don't tell Sarah, okay? 162 00:07:38,433 --> 00:07:39,968 - 'Cause it's not fair. - Okay. 163 00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,537 - That's totally fine. - Yeah, call Howard. 164 00:07:41,603 --> 00:07:43,404 - Great. - Honey? 165 00:07:43,539 --> 00:07:46,975 You know, I'm doing my LGBT Trans Got Talent? 166 00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:48,544 Uh-huh. 167 00:07:48,577 --> 00:07:51,346 And you said uh, were gonna check your calendar. 168 00:07:51,446 --> 00:07:53,448 Oh, yeah. 169 00:07:53,549 --> 00:07:55,817 - Can you come? - Mm-hmm. 170 00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:59,721 Grandpa is going to come tonight. 171 00:07:59,821 --> 00:08:05,727 - Yay. - And grandpa now dresses as a woman. 172 00:08:05,827 --> 00:08:07,462 But he's still really a boy, right? 173 00:08:07,563 --> 00:08:09,264 Actually, no, really, he's... 174 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,599 he really... he is a girl. 175 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,100 Okay, so this bear. 176 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,335 How do we know if the bear's a boy or a girl? 177 00:08:14,435 --> 00:08:16,572 Does it have a vagina? 178 00:08:16,605 --> 00:08:18,339 I don't know. Do you see a vagina? 179 00:08:18,439 --> 00:08:21,065 - We don't know. - I don't see but I don't see anything. Just see hair. 180 00:08:21,122 --> 00:08:23,525 - So how do we know? - I don't know. 181 00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:25,527 I don't know if he has a penis, but... I don't know. 182 00:08:25,627 --> 00:08:27,863 You can change if you're magic. 183 00:08:27,963 --> 00:08:28,930 Is grandpa magic? 184 00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:31,489 Yes. Yeah. 185 00:08:31,655 --> 00:08:33,535 He's... she's magic. 186 00:08:33,635 --> 00:08:36,171 You need to steer the ship now, just... 187 00:08:36,272 --> 00:08:39,140 Okay, it's not really magic. 188 00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:40,976 Anyone, really, can do it. 189 00:08:41,076 --> 00:08:43,044 Well, it's not that easy. 190 00:08:43,144 --> 00:08:44,980 Kind of... it's kind of hard, you know? 191 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,450 It's... you can't just, like... just back and forth... no. 192 00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:50,886 Will grandpa have pretty hair when he comes? 193 00:08:50,986 --> 00:08:53,054 She... she might. 194 00:08:53,154 --> 00:08:55,357 She really very well might. 195 00:08:55,828 --> 00:08:59,881 Because women bled without dying, men were frightened. 196 00:08:59,945 --> 00:09:02,228 And thus story was invented. 197 00:09:02,516 --> 00:09:04,987 The hero's journey was the only way 198 00:09:05,185 --> 00:09:06,201 out of that fear. 199 00:09:06,302 --> 00:09:09,118 Why is she bleeding and not dying? 200 00:09:09,229 --> 00:09:11,828 Very short journey to pap smears from there. 201 00:09:12,193 --> 00:09:14,610 A very short journey to theory talk. 202 00:09:15,058 --> 00:09:17,956 And of theory talk, Audre Lorde's comments 203 00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:20,081 about storming the master's castle 204 00:09:20,181 --> 00:09:21,650 with the master's own tools. 205 00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:25,237 How does theory talk relate to storming the castle? 206 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,323 I'll tell you, my good friend bell hooks once said... 207 00:09:27,389 --> 00:09:29,458 not a name-dropper, but we are good friends... 208 00:09:29,558 --> 00:09:31,393 She once said... she's a total namedropper. 209 00:09:31,493 --> 00:09:34,165 She's like, oh, yeah, me and Audre Lorde, 210 00:09:34,364 --> 00:09:35,096 like, we went and hung out. 211 00:09:35,196 --> 00:09:37,175 We went to Fire Island together. 212 00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:38,367 No, you guys didn't. 213 00:09:38,467 --> 00:09:40,336 No one goes to... she doesn't go to Fire Island. 214 00:09:40,402 --> 00:09:41,503 [Speaks French] 215 00:09:41,603 --> 00:09:42,904 We went and hung out in France. 216 00:09:43,004 --> 00:09:44,105 No, you didn't. 217 00:09:44,197 --> 00:09:46,099 She just makes up this bullshit. 218 00:09:46,207 --> 00:09:47,609 And I told her no. 219 00:09:47,709 --> 00:09:50,346 I said that's... that's not the way it feels. 220 00:09:50,446 --> 00:09:51,613 It's the way it sounds, 221 00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:53,148 but it's not the way it feels. 222 00:09:53,248 --> 00:09:55,096 But feeling is too feminine. 223 00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:58,286 I cannot believe that you fucked her. 224 00:09:58,675 --> 00:10:01,223 It wasn't just that. We lived together. 225 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,157 I know, for, like, a long time, right? 226 00:10:02,257 --> 00:10:03,525 Yeah, six months. 227 00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:04,693 Whoo. 228 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:05,694 The masculine insists 229 00:10:05,794 --> 00:10:08,907 to cut things up with exclamation points 230 00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:12,707 which are in and of themselves small rapes. 231 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:16,237 The way an exclamation point might end a sentence 232 00:10:16,338 --> 00:10:18,874 and says stop talking woman. 233 00:10:19,683 --> 00:10:22,572 Have you ever been raped by an exclamation point? 234 00:10:22,699 --> 00:10:24,525 Actually, once I was gang raped. 235 00:10:24,596 --> 00:10:27,272 Question mark, exclamation point, and semi-colon. 236 00:10:27,298 --> 00:10:28,299 Yeah, that's brutal. 237 00:10:28,399 --> 00:10:29,367 Yeah, it was pretty bad. 238 00:10:29,467 --> 00:10:31,302 It's very underreported. 239 00:10:31,402 --> 00:10:34,840 Is that a question or a comment in the back? 240 00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:39,077 - Just some follow-up. - Hello, Syd. 241 00:10:39,177 --> 00:10:40,411 Nice to see you. 242 00:10:40,511 --> 00:10:43,266 - How are you? - Fine. Thank you. 243 00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:44,615 We'll talk after. 244 00:10:45,790 --> 00:10:47,018 If it isn't Sydney Feldman. 245 00:10:47,118 --> 00:10:48,486 - Hello. - Good to see you, darling. 246 00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:51,522 You too. This is my friend Ali. 247 00:10:51,622 --> 00:10:55,426 I loved your TED Talk on rape culture and breast feeding. 248 00:10:55,526 --> 00:10:57,763 And thank you so much for letting me audit your class. 249 00:10:57,829 --> 00:10:59,430 It's very feminist to audit. 250 00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:00,832 - It is. - Right. 251 00:11:00,932 --> 00:11:02,868 It's not unfeminist to audit. One second. 252 00:11:02,968 --> 00:11:05,492 Dale, I got one more for you, sweetheart. 253 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:05,971 Yeah. 254 00:11:06,071 --> 00:11:09,007 Why is Paul Bunyan teaching a women's studies class? 255 00:11:09,107 --> 00:11:11,409 'Cause he's trans, dude. He's trans. 256 00:11:11,509 --> 00:11:13,057 - What? - Yeah. 257 00:11:13,684 --> 00:11:15,781 Uh, do you want me to introduce you? 258 00:11:15,814 --> 00:11:18,183 Oh, no. No, no. 259 00:11:18,283 --> 00:11:20,786 - You're gonna leave me here? - Mm-hmm. 260 00:11:20,852 --> 00:11:23,955 Hey, um, I just wanted to tell you 261 00:11:24,055 --> 00:11:26,291 that I like your shirt. 262 00:11:26,391 --> 00:11:28,794 Thanks. Thank you. 263 00:11:28,827 --> 00:11:31,629 It's, uh, flannel. 264 00:11:31,797 --> 00:11:34,699 Flannel. So versatile. 265 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,401 I wear it every day. 266 00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:38,669 - I would. - Yeah. 267 00:11:38,804 --> 00:11:41,807 So much you can do in it, you know? 268 00:11:41,907 --> 00:11:43,341 - Yeah. - I, uh, 269 00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,343 - eat in it. - Sleep in it. 270 00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:46,978 Can chop wood in it. 271 00:11:47,078 --> 00:11:50,849 There are just so many things you can do in flannel. 272 00:11:50,949 --> 00:11:52,818 Coming out at 68? 273 00:11:52,884 --> 00:11:54,820 That's one bold father. 274 00:11:54,853 --> 00:11:57,956 Yes, bold is the word. 275 00:11:58,056 --> 00:12:00,091 I had to come out twice to my parents. 276 00:12:00,191 --> 00:12:04,295 First time I came out to them, I said that I like girls. 277 00:12:04,395 --> 00:12:06,597 And the next time I came out to them, 278 00:12:06,697 --> 00:12:09,434 I said that I was a boy. 279 00:12:09,534 --> 00:12:11,469 My mom still calls me Megan. 280 00:12:11,569 --> 00:12:12,938 Megan? What? 281 00:12:13,038 --> 00:12:14,840 You look nothing like a Megan. Nothing. 282 00:12:14,906 --> 00:12:17,675 Oh, I have so many questions. 283 00:12:17,843 --> 00:12:19,510 I'm afraid of being offensive. 284 00:12:21,746 --> 00:12:25,851 Let me guess, uh, the first question. 285 00:12:25,884 --> 00:12:28,553 All right, so I'm a man with a vag. 286 00:12:28,653 --> 00:12:30,321 Awesome. 287 00:12:30,421 --> 00:12:32,290 I mean, that's awesome. 288 00:12:32,390 --> 00:12:35,726 You have basically experienced the world as two genders. 289 00:12:35,861 --> 00:12:37,863 That's incredible. You're like... 290 00:12:37,929 --> 00:12:39,230 gender enlightened. 291 00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:40,465 You know, you wouldn't believe 292 00:12:40,565 --> 00:12:41,766 the shit that dudes say 293 00:12:41,867 --> 00:12:43,168 when they think a woman isn't around. 294 00:12:43,268 --> 00:12:44,669 - I'm like a double-agent. - Oh, my God. 295 00:12:44,769 --> 00:12:46,872 I don't know, and I want to know. 296 00:12:46,905 --> 00:12:48,006 You don't really want to know. 297 00:12:48,106 --> 00:12:49,240 Where do you live? Can I come over? 298 00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:50,876 Can I just interview you for a week? 299 00:12:50,909 --> 00:12:53,544 Okay, I'm... I'm confused. 300 00:12:53,644 --> 00:12:55,513 I just want to clarify. I just... 301 00:12:55,613 --> 00:12:57,883 - you're... you're a dyke, right? - No, I'm not a dyke. 302 00:12:57,916 --> 00:13:00,185 God! This whole time you thought you were talking to a boring lesbian? 303 00:13:00,285 --> 00:13:01,920 - Excuse me. - Well, yeah. I mean I... 304 00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,989 You kind of give off those vibes, you know? 305 00:13:04,089 --> 00:13:07,058 No, no, I mean, politically, I'm basically a lesbian. 306 00:13:07,158 --> 00:13:08,894 Yeah, I see male privilege everywhere. 307 00:13:08,927 --> 00:13:11,162 And, I mean, I would totally love to be a lesbian, 308 00:13:11,262 --> 00:13:15,066 but I'm not a dyke, I'm, like, really into dudes, you know? 309 00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:17,468 Like, dude, dudely-dude, dude. 310 00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:18,769 - Dudely-dude. - Yeah. 311 00:13:18,904 --> 00:13:19,938 - Dudely dudes. - Yeah. 312 00:13:20,038 --> 00:13:21,539 - Yeah. - The dudlier the better. 313 00:13:21,639 --> 00:13:23,641 - Manly, you like... - Manly. 314 00:13:23,741 --> 00:13:25,176 Yeah. What about you? 315 00:13:25,276 --> 00:13:26,912 - Do you like... - Dudes? No. 316 00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:28,346 - No. - No, no. 317 00:13:28,446 --> 00:13:30,248 - Well, I like women. - Yeah, right. 318 00:13:30,348 --> 00:13:31,816 I mean, generally I usually go for, like, 319 00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:32,918 really, you know, like, 320 00:13:33,018 --> 00:13:34,485 really fem women, 321 00:13:34,585 --> 00:13:35,720 like, really, like, 322 00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:37,822 lipstick and heels and... 323 00:13:37,923 --> 00:13:39,090 - Oh, yeah. - That kind of... 324 00:13:39,190 --> 00:13:40,191 you know, like, high fem. 325 00:13:40,291 --> 00:13:41,792 Not just fem, but high fem. 326 00:13:41,927 --> 00:13:44,062 - You know what I mean. - Right. 327 00:13:44,162 --> 00:13:45,931 Cool. 328 00:13:46,731 --> 00:13:48,266 Yeah, let's go. 329 00:13:53,838 --> 00:13:56,207 - Okay. You're all good? - Uh-oh. 330 00:13:56,307 --> 00:13:59,410 - Just relax. Breathe. - I feel like I'm gonna faint. 331 00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:00,645 Act natural. 332 00:14:00,745 --> 00:14:02,080 Oh, yeah. Do I not look natural? 333 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,514 - Hello, sir. - You look amazing. 334 00:14:03,614 --> 00:14:05,951 Hi, do you know where the ice... ice machine is? 335 00:14:06,051 --> 00:14:07,118 Yeah, it's just right down there. 336 00:14:07,218 --> 00:14:09,955 - Thank you. - Okay. Thank you. 337 00:14:09,988 --> 00:14:11,489 [Both laughing] 338 00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:12,690 Thank you, sir. 339 00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:15,660 I can't run in these! 340 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:16,962 You're bad! 341 00:14:17,062 --> 00:14:19,497 Sleepaway camp for cross-dressers. 342 00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:22,133 These are the happiest girls in the world. 343 00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:24,435 Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. 344 00:14:24,535 --> 00:14:26,837 - A beauty pageant. - Hmm. 345 00:14:26,972 --> 00:14:30,275 Nails, a celebration. 346 00:14:30,375 --> 00:14:32,377 There is a beard cover seminar. 347 00:14:32,477 --> 00:14:33,644 A tea dance. 348 00:14:33,744 --> 00:14:35,746 Oh, my God. It sounds so fun. 349 00:14:35,846 --> 00:14:36,982 We have to go. 350 00:14:37,082 --> 00:14:39,250 There's no way. I cannot go. 351 00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:40,751 - We... - I would love to go. 352 00:14:40,851 --> 00:14:42,087 - I can't go. - You can go. 353 00:14:42,187 --> 00:14:43,488 It was hard enough for me to come here. 354 00:14:43,588 --> 00:14:45,056 I can't. 355 00:14:45,156 --> 00:14:46,557 - So take the next step. - I can't get away for a week. 356 00:14:46,657 --> 00:14:48,994 - You could get away. - How could I do that? 357 00:14:49,027 --> 00:14:51,362 Just tell... I tell... I tell Shelly that 358 00:14:51,462 --> 00:14:53,231 I am going to a conference and I just go... 359 00:14:53,331 --> 00:14:56,301 Accountants don't have conferences. Stop! 360 00:14:56,401 --> 00:14:57,102 I can't! 361 00:14:57,202 --> 00:15:00,038 Two Caesar salads. 362 00:15:00,138 --> 00:15:02,440 Enjoy, ladies. 363 00:15:04,009 --> 00:15:06,577 Enjoy, ladies. 364 00:15:06,677 --> 00:15:08,546 [Both chuckle] 365 00:15:11,082 --> 00:15:13,118 - Oh, my God. - When is it? 366 00:15:13,218 --> 00:15:15,753 - It's in the fall. - In the fall? 367 00:15:15,853 --> 00:15:19,657 It is... here it is. October 23rd. 368 00:15:19,757 --> 00:15:22,393 - Ah, shit. - What? 369 00:15:22,493 --> 00:15:25,463 Oh, it's my daughter's fucking bat mitzvah. 370 00:15:25,563 --> 00:15:27,465 God damn it. 371 00:15:54,459 --> 00:15:56,061 [Laptop closes] 372 00:16:03,368 --> 00:16:04,535 [Typing] 373 00:16:07,672 --> 00:16:09,074 [Beep] 374 00:16:09,107 --> 00:16:10,808 Hi, handsome. How are you? 375 00:16:10,908 --> 00:16:13,378 - Hi. - I like your fuzz. 376 00:16:13,478 --> 00:16:15,746 - Thanks. - How big is your cock? 377 00:16:15,846 --> 00:16:17,715 I don't... I don't know. 378 00:16:17,815 --> 00:16:20,351 I'm... I kind of want to just ask some questions. 379 00:16:20,451 --> 00:16:22,153 Ooh, you're kinky, honey. 380 00:16:22,253 --> 00:16:24,389 - Seriously, a real question. - A real question. 381 00:16:24,489 --> 00:16:26,224 You wanna be straight up my ass? 382 00:16:26,324 --> 00:16:29,194 [Chuckles] No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. 383 00:16:29,294 --> 00:16:30,895 - You want a little peekaboo? - No! Hey, hey, hey! 384 00:16:30,995 --> 00:16:32,497 I do not want to... I want to know, like, 385 00:16:32,597 --> 00:16:35,200 when you knew that you were trans. 386 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,402 - You're trans, right? - Yes, honey. 387 00:16:37,502 --> 00:16:41,772 I'm all woman. And I've got a cock to prove it. 388 00:16:43,374 --> 00:16:45,110 Do you like to dress up in women's clothes? 389 00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:47,778 - No! - You want me to fuck you? 390 00:16:47,878 --> 00:16:49,480 - I could do that. - [Laptop closes] 391 00:17:06,664 --> 00:17:09,467 [Overlapping greetings] 392 00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:10,535 Shabbat shalom. 393 00:17:10,635 --> 00:17:12,337 Come on in. Let me show you around. 394 00:17:12,437 --> 00:17:13,904 - Oh, cool. - Yeah. 395 00:17:14,004 --> 00:17:15,606 This is really lovely. 396 00:17:15,706 --> 00:17:17,842 - It's pretty awesome. - Just getting started. 397 00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:19,444 - I love it. - Hope you don't mind. 398 00:17:19,544 --> 00:17:22,813 Just a few minor changes. Thank you. For the wine. 399 00:17:22,913 --> 00:17:24,649 I cannot believe you left this place. 400 00:17:24,749 --> 00:17:26,584 Oh, you don't want to live in the Palisades. 401 00:17:26,684 --> 00:17:30,155 They... they would chase our kind out with a stick. 402 00:17:30,255 --> 00:17:32,790 They've only recently started letting in the Jews. 403 00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:34,159 - This is nice. - [Laughing] 404 00:17:34,192 --> 00:17:35,993 Oh, you kept some of the books. 405 00:17:36,161 --> 00:17:38,163 Yeah. Yeah. No, I love books. 406 00:17:38,196 --> 00:17:40,865 - Me, too. - As a design element. 407 00:17:40,965 --> 00:17:42,800 That television is huge. 408 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,635 Look at that. 409 00:17:44,735 --> 00:17:46,171 - Yeah. - It's great. 410 00:17:46,204 --> 00:17:47,905 - Tammy's stuff. - I love it. 411 00:17:48,005 --> 00:17:49,474 I'm sorry, dad. We just got... 412 00:17:49,574 --> 00:17:51,176 you know, it's so fun for the kids in the summer. 413 00:17:51,209 --> 00:17:53,378 Yeah, movie night! It's gonna be great. 414 00:17:53,478 --> 00:17:54,879 Yeah. I know it's hard to adjust to, like, 415 00:17:54,979 --> 00:17:56,181 - not be able to cover it up. - No, it looks beautiful. 416 00:17:56,247 --> 00:17:57,182 - I love it. - Oh, thanks. 417 00:17:57,248 --> 00:17:59,817 - Grandpa! - Oh, no! 418 00:17:59,917 --> 00:18:01,519 Oh, wait a minute. 419 00:18:01,619 --> 00:18:04,088 Oh, no, no, no. 420 00:18:04,189 --> 00:18:05,856 There's children here. 421 00:18:05,956 --> 00:18:07,057 Dad, this is Bianca. 422 00:18:07,192 --> 00:18:08,226 This is Tammy's step-daughter. 423 00:18:08,326 --> 00:18:09,827 - Hi. - Hi, Bianca. 424 00:18:09,927 --> 00:18:11,362 You are pretty. 425 00:18:11,462 --> 00:18:14,064 - She's gorgeous. - Mommy told me you are magic. 426 00:18:14,199 --> 00:18:17,302 - I am magic. - I didn't say magic exactly. 427 00:18:17,402 --> 00:18:18,636 I was trying to explain... you know, just in case... 428 00:18:18,736 --> 00:18:20,104 - Explain? - Nothing. 429 00:18:20,205 --> 00:18:22,207 - I understand. - Does anybody want drinks? 430 00:18:22,273 --> 00:18:23,641 - All: Yes. - 'Cause I could hook you up. 431 00:18:23,741 --> 00:18:25,410 - Okay. What would you like? - Terrific. 432 00:18:25,510 --> 00:18:28,045 A cup of anything, as long as there's booze in it. 433 00:18:28,213 --> 00:18:29,580 - All right, and... okay. - Vodka tonic. 434 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,821 - Arnold Palmer. - Okay. All right. 435 00:18:32,329 --> 00:18:33,518 If we look at a map, 436 00:18:33,618 --> 00:18:36,687 the Promised Land is actually not that far 437 00:18:36,787 --> 00:18:38,055 from where Moses lived. 438 00:18:38,223 --> 00:18:40,358 It would be like from here to, 439 00:18:40,458 --> 00:18:42,827 I don't know, Mexico. 440 00:18:42,927 --> 00:18:44,229 All right? Not that far. 441 00:18:44,295 --> 00:18:46,764 But 40 years? 442 00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:47,898 No. 443 00:18:49,834 --> 00:18:52,403 Welcome. 444 00:18:52,503 --> 00:18:54,305 It's because God needed that amount of time 445 00:18:54,405 --> 00:18:57,107 to change slaves into free people. 446 00:18:57,242 --> 00:18:59,244 A previous generation had to die. 447 00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:01,479 No one got in from that generation. 448 00:19:01,579 --> 00:19:04,382 It's only those that were born free 449 00:19:04,482 --> 00:19:08,085 and were born in the wilderness 450 00:19:08,253 --> 00:19:11,256 that get to see the Promised Land. 451 00:19:12,290 --> 00:19:14,459 Shabbat shalom. 452 00:19:17,328 --> 00:19:19,430 Now that the sun has gone down, 453 00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:21,832 cell phone rule is in place. 454 00:19:21,932 --> 00:19:23,601 This is so beautiful. 455 00:19:23,701 --> 00:19:25,770 - Thank you so much. - Oh, good. 456 00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:28,172 I didn't know you... you did all this. 457 00:19:28,273 --> 00:19:30,040 Well, Tammy and I have been 458 00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:31,642 kind of working on making Friday nights, 459 00:19:31,742 --> 00:19:33,644 you know, dinner time, time to unplug. 460 00:19:33,744 --> 00:19:35,346 She read about it in Real Simple. 461 00:19:35,446 --> 00:19:37,348 - Yeah. - In Real Simple? What is that? 462 00:19:37,448 --> 00:19:41,552 Mindfulness... about mindful living. 463 00:19:41,652 --> 00:19:43,187 That's great. That is good. 464 00:19:43,288 --> 00:19:44,955 Um, why don't we do the candles? 465 00:19:45,055 --> 00:19:47,091 And mapa, you wanna do the honors? 466 00:19:47,191 --> 00:19:48,359 - Really? - Sure. 467 00:19:48,459 --> 00:19:49,960 Can I help? I would love to help. 468 00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:51,396 - No, you can't. - It's... I'm sorry. 469 00:19:51,496 --> 00:19:53,864 It's a tradition that the mother of the family 470 00:19:53,964 --> 00:19:55,232 - lights the candles. - Oh. 471 00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:57,067 All right. And you have to be chosen. 472 00:19:57,167 --> 00:19:58,369 - Gotcha. - [Laughter] 473 00:19:58,469 --> 00:19:59,970 All right, here we go. 474 00:20:00,070 --> 00:20:04,141 Baruch atah adonai 475 00:20:04,241 --> 00:20:06,811 Elohenu... Am I lighting this? Am I... 476 00:20:06,911 --> 00:20:08,078 Elohenu melech alom 477 00:20:08,178 --> 00:20:09,246 Yeah, you're lighting it, 478 00:20:09,347 --> 00:20:10,448 but you're gonna burn your finger. 479 00:20:10,548 --> 00:20:12,283 And I think you're singing Hanukkah. 480 00:20:12,383 --> 00:20:13,684 - I think I am. - Let's try that... 481 00:20:13,784 --> 00:20:15,286 I don't think that's the right tune. 482 00:20:15,386 --> 00:20:18,656 Are you sure you were chosen? 'Cause... 483 00:20:18,756 --> 00:20:21,692 - Semi-chosen. - Okay. All right. 484 00:20:21,792 --> 00:20:23,160 One-time chosen. 485 00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:25,596 - Chosen at one time. - Right. 486 00:20:25,696 --> 00:20:27,532 Asher kiddeshanu b'mitzvah tav 487 00:20:27,632 --> 00:20:32,670 Vitzi vanu I'hdlich ner shel shabbat 488 00:20:33,237 --> 00:20:34,772 Happy shabbos. 489 00:20:34,872 --> 00:20:36,641 - Kissy-kiss. Love you. - That was beautiful. 490 00:20:36,741 --> 00:20:39,344 Josh Pfefferman, what the f... 491 00:20:39,444 --> 00:20:41,512 pfeff are you doing here in a suit? 492 00:20:41,612 --> 00:20:43,381 Oh, I just wanted to, you know, 493 00:20:43,481 --> 00:20:45,616 show you that I'm not totally drunk and crazy 494 00:20:45,716 --> 00:20:47,251 - at all times... - Oh, I see. 495 00:20:47,352 --> 00:20:48,686 And, you know, see what you're doing. 496 00:20:48,786 --> 00:20:51,088 Seemed to be a tough day for your family. 497 00:20:51,188 --> 00:20:53,358 - Yeah, yeah. - I'm glad Ed is... okay. 498 00:20:53,458 --> 00:20:54,792 He's good, he's good. 499 00:20:54,892 --> 00:20:57,094 Your mom must be freaking out that you're here. 500 00:20:57,194 --> 00:20:59,029 - Oh, no. She has no idea. - Oh. 501 00:20:59,129 --> 00:21:00,631 And you will not tell her, 502 00:21:00,731 --> 00:21:03,200 - because she would be way too excited. - Yes. 503 00:21:03,368 --> 00:21:07,772 Um, this is my first real shabbat service, shamefully. 504 00:21:07,872 --> 00:21:09,840 - Say that three times fast. - Yeah. 505 00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:13,378 We're gonna try to do a community room down there. 506 00:21:13,478 --> 00:21:15,946 And this... 507 00:21:16,046 --> 00:21:18,483 Is ye olde tiny mikveh. 508 00:21:18,583 --> 00:21:20,676 We're trying to get the funding 509 00:21:20,702 --> 00:21:21,986 to renovate it. 510 00:21:22,086 --> 00:21:24,889 It used to be, I think, about... 511 00:21:24,989 --> 00:21:27,057 life events transforming. 512 00:21:28,459 --> 00:21:29,860 Can I get in there? 513 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,596 - [Chuckles] - Cool? 514 00:21:37,535 --> 00:21:38,869 Can I have a drumroll, please? 515 00:21:38,969 --> 00:21:42,206 This Sunday. 8:00, yes? 516 00:21:42,306 --> 00:21:45,543 Davina, my lovely friend, and I are doing 517 00:21:45,643 --> 00:21:48,112 a duet at the LGBT center 518 00:21:48,212 --> 00:21:49,580 at Trans Got Talent. 519 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,181 - A duet. You're gonna sing? - Wow! 520 00:21:51,281 --> 00:21:53,818 - That's what a duet means. - [Laughing] 521 00:21:53,918 --> 00:21:55,285 - Yes, we're going to sing. - In a talent... 522 00:21:55,420 --> 00:21:56,286 - She's great. - Really? 523 00:21:56,421 --> 00:21:57,688 She has a great voice. 524 00:21:57,788 --> 00:21:59,624 - I'm good. I don't know... - Really? 525 00:21:59,724 --> 00:22:01,426 - I don't know the lyrics very well. - That's... 526 00:22:01,526 --> 00:22:04,194 but this is me. This is how I look... 527 00:22:04,294 --> 00:22:05,329 [laughter] 528 00:22:05,430 --> 00:22:07,097 At your mouth while I... 529 00:22:07,197 --> 00:22:08,699 I do it. It's kind of scary, 530 00:22:08,799 --> 00:22:10,668 but I'd love you to be there. 531 00:22:10,768 --> 00:22:12,102 Ali's coming. Can you come? 532 00:22:12,202 --> 00:22:13,504 Yes? Yes? Yes? 533 00:22:13,604 --> 00:22:15,305 - I'll be there. - Good. 534 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,642 And you'll bring Joshy? Because he's 535 00:22:17,742 --> 00:22:19,343 so weird in this whole area, 536 00:22:19,444 --> 00:22:21,078 and it just scares him, and... 537 00:22:21,178 --> 00:22:25,450 but I need all three of my babies close, close, close. 538 00:22:25,550 --> 00:22:27,084 All right, dad. 539 00:22:27,184 --> 00:22:28,453 I promise. I'll get him there. 540 00:22:28,486 --> 00:22:32,122 So you've never been married. 541 00:22:32,222 --> 00:22:33,491 You never had any kids. 542 00:22:33,591 --> 00:22:35,259 Nope. Mm-hmm. 543 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:36,961 - Wow. - I mean, I... 544 00:22:38,629 --> 00:22:40,297 I did get... I got close. 545 00:22:40,465 --> 00:22:41,999 - Really? - Yeah. 546 00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:44,034 I think I ended up wasting 547 00:22:44,134 --> 00:22:45,803 maybe my last good years 548 00:22:45,903 --> 00:22:48,939 on just... 549 00:22:49,039 --> 00:22:50,475 the wrong person. 550 00:22:50,508 --> 00:22:52,142 Oh, no. 551 00:22:52,242 --> 00:22:53,611 - No, no, no. - Yeah, maybe. Yep. 552 00:22:53,711 --> 00:22:54,812 Your last good years? 553 00:22:54,912 --> 00:22:56,514 - Look at you. - No, I mean, like... 554 00:22:56,614 --> 00:22:57,982 I mean, you have plenty of time. 555 00:22:58,082 --> 00:22:59,484 There's like... 556 00:22:59,584 --> 00:23:01,519 people think life is short, but life is long. 557 00:23:01,619 --> 00:23:03,888 - But you, uh... - I'm a woman. 558 00:23:03,988 --> 00:23:05,322 I was talking about my dying eggs. 559 00:23:05,490 --> 00:23:06,491 Check. 560 00:23:06,557 --> 00:23:08,493 I did not know of what you spoke. 561 00:23:08,593 --> 00:23:10,528 I apologize. I should have been clearer. 562 00:23:10,628 --> 00:23:12,196 Right. Check. 563 00:23:12,296 --> 00:23:13,964 So now I've got just 564 00:23:14,064 --> 00:23:16,366 crunchy, crispy, 565 00:23:16,501 --> 00:23:17,868 old lady eggs. 566 00:23:17,968 --> 00:23:20,070 Just... it's like a... 567 00:23:20,170 --> 00:23:22,507 I bet your eggs are super moist. Come on, now. 568 00:23:22,607 --> 00:23:25,510 Oh, I bet you say that to all the ladies. 569 00:23:31,882 --> 00:23:33,350 - [Doorbell chimes] - Oh. 570 00:23:33,518 --> 00:23:34,819 - Who is that? - Are we expecting somebody? 571 00:23:34,919 --> 00:23:36,020 - Oh! - Hello. 572 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:37,121 Hello, hello. 573 00:23:37,221 --> 00:23:38,188 - Okay. - Hey, guys. 574 00:23:38,288 --> 00:23:40,190 - You guys ready? - We said 8:00. 575 00:23:40,290 --> 00:23:42,660 No, I can show you where we said 7. 576 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,762 No phones at shabbat. Sorry. 577 00:23:44,862 --> 00:23:47,164 That's Bianca. Tammy's step-daughter. 578 00:23:47,264 --> 00:23:49,399 - Great. - And this is Davina. 579 00:23:49,534 --> 00:23:50,901 - Hello. - Hi. 580 00:23:51,001 --> 00:23:53,671 - And you know Tammy. - Hi, Tammy. 581 00:23:53,771 --> 00:23:54,805 Good shabbos, Leonard. 582 00:23:54,905 --> 00:23:56,006 Hi, Mort. 583 00:23:56,106 --> 00:23:57,207 How are you? 584 00:23:57,307 --> 00:23:58,242 Maura. 585 00:23:58,342 --> 00:23:59,243 I beg your pardon? 586 00:23:59,343 --> 00:24:01,245 I'm going by Maura now. 587 00:24:01,345 --> 00:24:03,013 I'm sorry? 588 00:24:03,113 --> 00:24:05,983 Maura. 589 00:24:06,083 --> 00:24:08,553 [Chuckles] Wow. 590 00:24:08,586 --> 00:24:11,388 Welcome. Sit down. Have a seat. 591 00:24:11,556 --> 00:24:12,923 - No, it's okay. - Sit down. 592 00:24:13,023 --> 00:24:14,992 I was driving. I've been driving a long time. 593 00:24:15,092 --> 00:24:16,293 I drove all day 594 00:24:16,393 --> 00:24:17,828 - to get these guys, so... - Oh, okay. 595 00:24:17,928 --> 00:24:19,363 Well, Zacky's got a cold, so... 596 00:24:19,463 --> 00:24:20,765 He's got a what? 597 00:24:20,865 --> 00:24:22,600 He's just got a little bit of a cold. 598 00:24:22,700 --> 00:24:24,669 How'd he get a cold? Did somebody give you a cold? 599 00:24:24,769 --> 00:24:25,836 Someone in this room give you a cold? 600 00:24:25,936 --> 00:24:28,172 - Did she give you a cold? - Okay. 601 00:24:28,272 --> 00:24:30,174 No, I'm just curious. Who started the cold? 602 00:24:30,274 --> 00:24:32,276 When I dropped you off, he was completely healthy. 603 00:24:32,376 --> 00:24:33,711 Go get ready to go to your dad's 604 00:24:33,811 --> 00:24:35,379 Leonard, would you like some raisin challah? 605 00:24:35,479 --> 00:24:36,614 It's very good. 606 00:24:36,714 --> 00:24:38,482 No. It looks great. Thank you. 607 00:24:38,583 --> 00:24:40,150 Thank you, anyway. [Cough] 608 00:24:40,250 --> 00:24:41,619 I'm so sorry. 609 00:24:41,719 --> 00:24:43,487 Uh, I'm about to get into a car 610 00:24:43,588 --> 00:24:44,655 with two small children, 611 00:24:44,755 --> 00:24:46,223 and I would like to know, uh, 612 00:24:46,323 --> 00:24:47,825 what do they know about this? 613 00:24:47,925 --> 00:24:49,326 I just want to get the terminology straight. 614 00:24:49,426 --> 00:24:51,295 Are we talking about grandpa Mort? 615 00:24:51,395 --> 00:24:52,429 Grandma Mort? 616 00:24:52,597 --> 00:24:54,131 What is it exactly? 617 00:24:54,231 --> 00:24:56,500 Because we had said that we wouldn't do this, 618 00:24:56,601 --> 00:24:58,035 uh, until we had talked to the kids. 619 00:24:58,135 --> 00:24:59,604 Well, Tammy and I did talk to the kids. 620 00:24:59,637 --> 00:25:00,838 Oh, Tammy and you talked to the kids. 621 00:25:00,938 --> 00:25:02,406 - Yeah. - You and Tammy? 622 00:25:02,506 --> 00:25:03,874 I'm sure that confused them even more. 623 00:25:03,974 --> 00:25:05,710 Believe me, we did not talk about 624 00:25:05,810 --> 00:25:08,378 anything beyond their own understanding, okay? 625 00:25:08,478 --> 00:25:09,747 Beyond their understanding? 626 00:25:09,847 --> 00:25:11,616 Tammy, I don't understand this. 627 00:25:11,649 --> 00:25:13,117 Oh, there's that tone. 628 00:25:13,217 --> 00:25:14,619 Oh. [Chuckles] 629 00:25:14,685 --> 00:25:16,754 It's my tone. That's what it is? 630 00:25:16,854 --> 00:25:19,023 This is all great. But it's my tone? 631 00:25:19,123 --> 00:25:21,525 It's the register of my vocal cords, 632 00:25:21,626 --> 00:25:23,628 that's what's confusing to everyone. 633 00:25:23,661 --> 00:25:24,929 'Cause I can change my tone. 634 00:25:25,029 --> 00:25:26,631 [High pitch] I can talk like this. 635 00:25:26,664 --> 00:25:28,799 Talk like a lady. 636 00:25:28,899 --> 00:25:30,467 Okay, would you ladies be more comfortable 637 00:25:30,635 --> 00:25:33,270 if you all lived on an all-female planet? 638 00:25:33,370 --> 00:25:34,772 Maybe you could sail off 639 00:25:34,872 --> 00:25:36,807 in a uterus-shaped spaceship. 640 00:25:36,907 --> 00:25:38,676 Sounds like a good idea to me. 641 00:25:38,776 --> 00:25:40,645 - Maybe I can cut my dick off. - Leonard? 642 00:25:40,745 --> 00:25:42,079 That would make it easier for everyone. 643 00:25:42,179 --> 00:25:43,648 I could be a girl too. 644 00:25:43,681 --> 00:25:45,249 Put that knife down. 645 00:25:45,349 --> 00:25:47,151 [Slams table] 646 00:25:47,251 --> 00:25:48,719 This is my family. 647 00:25:48,819 --> 00:25:50,320 Leonard, I am so sorry. 648 00:25:50,420 --> 00:25:52,322 This is my fault. 649 00:25:52,422 --> 00:25:54,191 I should have called you. 650 00:25:54,291 --> 00:25:56,193 Honey, I should have taken you out to lunch, 651 00:25:56,293 --> 00:25:57,662 and we should have talked. 652 00:25:57,762 --> 00:25:59,664 But I didn't do that. 653 00:25:59,697 --> 00:26:01,732 And I'm sorry about the Mort and the Maura 654 00:26:01,832 --> 00:26:03,133 and the he and the she. 655 00:26:03,233 --> 00:26:04,534 I'm just a person, 656 00:26:04,669 --> 00:26:06,003 and you're just a person, 657 00:26:06,103 --> 00:26:07,204 and here we are. 658 00:26:08,505 --> 00:26:10,675 And, baby, you need to... 659 00:26:10,741 --> 00:26:13,944 you need to get in this whirlpool... 660 00:26:14,044 --> 00:26:16,380 or you need to get out of it. 661 00:26:28,145 --> 00:26:29,947 I'm sorry about the knife. 662 00:26:31,161 --> 00:26:32,362 [Knife clinks] 663 00:26:34,699 --> 00:26:36,300 Good shabbos. 664 00:26:52,049 --> 00:26:52,983 [Sighs] 665 00:26:54,220 --> 00:26:55,419 I hope I'm not ruining the kids 666 00:26:55,519 --> 00:26:57,321 with all this crazy stuff. 667 00:26:59,728 --> 00:27:01,859 Remember our crazy stuff? 668 00:27:03,797 --> 00:27:04,729 Yeah. 669 00:27:05,503 --> 00:27:07,732 But it's all blended in with the good stuff. 670 00:27:11,936 --> 00:27:14,304 I'm glad you remember the good stuff. 671 00:27:16,957 --> 00:27:18,659 I want you to have this house. 672 00:27:19,910 --> 00:27:22,112 You and Tammy. I want you to be here. 673 00:27:23,814 --> 00:27:26,216 You mean, like, to... to sell it, or... 674 00:27:26,316 --> 00:27:28,418 No, no. 675 00:27:28,518 --> 00:27:29,987 Don't talk about that now. 676 00:27:30,087 --> 00:27:33,323 I just want you to be here. I want you to be safe. 677 00:27:37,294 --> 00:27:39,764 Thank you. 678 00:27:40,865 --> 00:27:43,067 Don't tell Josh or Ali. 679 00:27:48,038 --> 00:27:50,007 That's a pretty color. 680 00:27:50,107 --> 00:27:50,975 Thank you. 681 00:27:51,075 --> 00:27:55,780 It's called "cherries on fire". 682 00:28:01,375 --> 00:28:04,375 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 683 00:28:04,425 --> 00:28:08,975 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 48055

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