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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,843 --> 00:00:07,112 Dad? 2 00:00:07,213 --> 00:00:08,514 Hi, girls. 3 00:00:08,614 --> 00:00:11,016 Mr. Pfefferman. 4 00:00:11,116 --> 00:00:12,851 Mort. [Chuckles] 5 00:00:12,951 --> 00:00:15,020 Jesus. 6 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,589 You look awesome. 7 00:00:17,689 --> 00:00:20,792 Thank you, Tammy. 8 00:00:20,892 --> 00:00:21,793 It's been a while. 9 00:00:21,893 --> 00:00:23,229 Yes. 10 00:00:23,609 --> 00:00:25,276 How's... how's mom and dad? 11 00:00:25,376 --> 00:00:26,612 They're good. They're good, yeah. 12 00:00:26,712 --> 00:00:28,880 They... they still... in Phoenix. 13 00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:30,816 Oh, it's a wonderful town, Phoenix. 14 00:00:30,916 --> 00:00:33,885 Dad, what are you wearing? 15 00:00:36,421 --> 00:00:38,490 So I have something to tell you. 16 00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:40,959 Um, oh, okay. So do you guys... 17 00:00:41,059 --> 00:00:42,393 - You want me to leave? - Yes, please. 18 00:00:42,494 --> 00:00:43,862 No, at least... 19 00:00:43,962 --> 00:00:46,264 - You can stay, that's fine. - Please stay. 20 00:00:46,364 --> 00:00:50,135 Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure. 21 00:00:50,235 --> 00:00:55,106 So... 22 00:00:55,206 --> 00:00:58,710 Yes, so... 23 00:01:05,183 --> 00:01:06,284 So... 24 00:01:06,384 --> 00:01:10,889 [Exhales deeply] When I was a kid... 25 00:01:15,594 --> 00:01:17,563 ever since I was... I was five, 26 00:01:17,663 --> 00:01:21,299 I... I felt that something was... 27 00:01:21,399 --> 00:01:23,935 was not right. 28 00:01:24,035 --> 00:01:26,271 And, uh, I couldn't tell anybody 29 00:01:26,371 --> 00:01:28,874 about my feminine side. 30 00:01:28,974 --> 00:01:30,942 It was a different time, you know. 31 00:01:31,042 --> 00:01:33,011 Very different time. 32 00:01:33,111 --> 00:01:37,482 And, uh, pretty girl... 33 00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:41,286 uh, I just, um, I had to keep all... 34 00:01:41,386 --> 00:01:43,321 all of those feelings to myself, and... 35 00:01:43,421 --> 00:01:44,956 - Look, dad... - No, no, let me do this. 36 00:01:45,056 --> 00:01:49,060 Just please, God, let me do this. 37 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:52,430 People led secret lives. 38 00:01:52,598 --> 00:01:55,601 And people led... 39 00:01:55,667 --> 00:01:58,103 very lonely lives. 40 00:01:58,203 --> 00:01:59,504 And, uh... [Chuckles] 41 00:01:59,605 --> 00:02:01,139 then, of course, the Internet was invented... 42 00:02:01,239 --> 00:02:04,242 The Internet. Can't hate on that Internet. 43 00:02:04,342 --> 00:02:05,811 It's magic. 44 00:02:05,911 --> 00:02:08,847 I'm sorry, I... I'm sorry, dad, I'm sorry. 45 00:02:08,947 --> 00:02:10,916 I'm just trying... can you just help me out here? 46 00:02:11,016 --> 00:02:12,618 [Chuckles] 47 00:02:13,952 --> 00:02:15,453 Are... are you saying that you're going to start 48 00:02:15,621 --> 00:02:17,522 dressing up like a lady all the time? 49 00:02:17,623 --> 00:02:21,459 [Chuckles] No, honey, all my life... 50 00:02:21,627 --> 00:02:24,896 my whole life I've been dressing up 51 00:02:24,996 --> 00:02:26,998 like a man. 52 00:02:30,201 --> 00:02:32,203 This is me. 53 00:02:36,241 --> 00:02:39,144 [Piano music] 54 00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:47,252 55 00:03:22,420 --> 00:03:26,091 - Hey, professor. - Hello. 56 00:03:37,568 --> 00:03:39,705 [Locks door] 57 00:04:03,194 --> 00:04:06,164 [Knocking] Professor Pfefferman? 58 00:04:06,264 --> 00:04:09,234 Is it too late? 59 00:04:09,334 --> 00:04:11,870 Professor Pfefferman? 60 00:04:27,786 --> 00:04:31,857 Both: [Chuckling] 61 00:04:31,957 --> 00:04:34,525 That was, uh... that was really... 62 00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,962 that was brave of her, you know? 63 00:04:37,062 --> 00:04:41,432 - It was, it's hard. - [Laughing] 64 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:43,234 Come on, come on. 65 00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:44,435 - Her? - Yeah. 66 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:47,172 Just, I mean, right? 67 00:04:47,272 --> 00:04:49,775 - Yeah. - Yeah. 68 00:04:49,808 --> 00:04:52,610 Yeah. [Phone beeps] 69 00:04:52,778 --> 00:04:54,780 Oh, good, Len got the kids. 70 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,014 Oh, that's good. I'm still waiting to hear 71 00:04:56,114 --> 00:04:57,648 - from Barb, actually. - [Phone beeps] 72 00:04:57,783 --> 00:05:00,786 - Jesus. - What? 73 00:05:00,852 --> 00:05:04,455 Barb and your daughter are at my house. 74 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:06,391 [Chuckles] 75 00:05:06,491 --> 00:05:07,993 Fuck. 76 00:05:08,093 --> 00:05:09,895 God. 77 00:05:11,496 --> 00:05:12,597 P to the I to the z-z-za. 78 00:05:12,697 --> 00:05:14,800 Oh, yeah. 79 00:05:14,833 --> 00:05:16,434 Gimme that shit, lemme see it. Come on. 80 00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:18,536 Come and get it, chickies. 81 00:05:18,636 --> 00:05:21,472 So, uh, I need to know, 82 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:22,808 what's going on with the sched? 83 00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:25,410 You were able to move that thing around? 84 00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:26,812 No. 85 00:05:26,845 --> 00:05:28,079 Ryan is doing us a huge solid 86 00:05:28,179 --> 00:05:29,948 by even just, like, carving out an hour 87 00:05:30,048 --> 00:05:31,216 to be in the studio with us. 88 00:05:31,316 --> 00:05:32,650 He's leaving for Bonnaroo tomorrow. 89 00:05:32,818 --> 00:05:35,186 I can't reschedule my thing. 90 00:05:35,286 --> 00:05:37,555 Kids, what is more important than recording with Ryan? 91 00:05:37,725 --> 00:05:40,061 What is going on with her? What's up? 92 00:05:40,161 --> 00:05:41,462 I think you should tell him. 93 00:05:41,562 --> 00:05:42,797 Tell me what? 94 00:05:42,898 --> 00:05:44,332 Okay, whatever, fine. Fuck you. 95 00:05:44,432 --> 00:05:47,268 You're making me tell you, but I'm scheduled 96 00:05:47,368 --> 00:05:49,470 to get an abortion. 97 00:05:51,239 --> 00:05:56,611 - 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, - Fuck, yeah. 98 00:05:56,711 --> 00:05:57,712 Oh, yeah. 99 00:05:57,812 --> 00:06:00,281 - 11, 10, - [Grunts] 100 00:06:00,381 --> 00:06:02,283 - 9, 8, 7, 6, - I can't, I can't. 101 00:06:02,383 --> 00:06:04,585 - 5, 4, 3, 2. - [Heavy breathing] 102 00:06:04,685 --> 00:06:06,487 Ooh! Aaahhh! 103 00:06:06,587 --> 00:06:07,956 [Blender running] 104 00:06:08,056 --> 00:06:09,557 We got to come up with a new name for our idea 105 00:06:09,657 --> 00:06:12,293 because sexercise.com was taken. 106 00:06:12,393 --> 00:06:13,528 Fuck you, GoDaddy. 107 00:06:13,628 --> 00:06:17,765 - Mmm. Assholes. - Okay, aerobics. 108 00:06:17,933 --> 00:06:20,768 Ass-robics. Work out, work out. 109 00:06:20,936 --> 00:06:23,038 Work... twerk out. Twerkout.com. 110 00:06:23,138 --> 00:06:24,772 That's our thing. Twerkout.com 111 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:26,041 Do you know how to twerk? 112 00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:27,608 You think I can't twerk? 113 00:06:27,708 --> 00:06:29,577 - I want to see you twerk. - Shit, they invented twerking. 114 00:06:29,677 --> 00:06:32,013 - Hey, Mike's home. - Hello. 115 00:06:32,113 --> 00:06:33,214 Hey, what's up? 116 00:06:33,314 --> 00:06:34,950 You want one of these juices? 117 00:06:35,016 --> 00:06:38,186 - Yeah, yeah. - You must be Stephanie. 118 00:06:38,286 --> 00:06:41,389 - So not Stephanie. - Ali. 119 00:06:41,489 --> 00:06:43,724 Even better. 120 00:06:43,824 --> 00:06:45,760 I'm so much better than Stephanie. 121 00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:48,329 [Scoffs] 122 00:06:48,429 --> 00:06:52,467 Let me tell you something. A lot of people do this. 123 00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:55,870 - Yeah. - They'll squeeze out the juice. 124 00:06:55,971 --> 00:06:58,739 - Hey, hi, guys. - Really? 125 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,409 - Sorry, so late. - Hey, no problem. 126 00:07:01,509 --> 00:07:02,410 - Hey, Barb. - Sarah. 127 00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:03,979 - Heard a lot about you. - Likewise. 128 00:07:04,079 --> 00:07:05,580 - Hey, hon, how are you doing? - Hey, sweetie. 129 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:06,814 - Hey, how are you? - I'm good, this is Tammy... 130 00:07:06,982 --> 00:07:08,984 - Hey. - Hi, good to meet you. 131 00:07:09,017 --> 00:07:10,351 - From college. - The famous Tammy Cashman. 132 00:07:10,451 --> 00:07:11,886 - Oh, my God, sure. - Why didn't you take 133 00:07:11,987 --> 00:07:13,454 the covers off of this? It looks so ridiculous. 134 00:07:13,554 --> 00:07:15,756 Well, because we didn't know that this was happening. 135 00:07:15,856 --> 00:07:18,026 I know, but it takes just a second. 136 00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:20,628 Tammy, cold beer for you. 137 00:07:20,728 --> 00:07:22,797 - She doesn't drink. - Water for me, just water. 138 00:07:22,897 --> 00:07:24,265 How was shopping? How did that go? 139 00:07:24,365 --> 00:07:26,167 Pretty hellish, actually. I was going to take her 140 00:07:26,267 --> 00:07:28,303 to find some tiles at Ann Sacks... 141 00:07:28,403 --> 00:07:30,171 Right, and then we had to go all the way 142 00:07:30,271 --> 00:07:32,773 - to the other... - And we didn't even end up getting them. 143 00:07:32,873 --> 00:07:36,677 Hi, hi. [Chuckles] 144 00:07:36,777 --> 00:07:38,113 What's your name? 145 00:07:38,213 --> 00:07:40,648 - My name's Grace. - Hi, Grace. I'm Sarah. 146 00:07:40,748 --> 00:07:42,750 It's so nice to meet you. 147 00:07:42,850 --> 00:07:44,852 - Oh, my God. - That's Gracie. 148 00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:46,721 - Hi, mommy. - Hi, lovey. 149 00:07:46,821 --> 00:07:48,656 - Hi, mommy. - Hi, honeybun. 150 00:07:48,756 --> 00:07:50,858 - That's Ella, Zack, and... - Colby? 151 00:07:51,026 --> 00:07:53,928 So, Sarah, I was telling Barb about Kenny's place on Oahu. 152 00:07:54,029 --> 00:07:55,463 - Hey, babe. - Yeah? 153 00:07:55,563 --> 00:07:58,066 I'm having trouble pulling up the family calendar. 154 00:07:58,166 --> 00:07:59,434 - Yeah. - Yeah, do you know 155 00:07:59,534 --> 00:08:02,270 - the new spring break dates? - Okay, yep. 156 00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:04,272 Barb's a scratch golfer, and I was thinking 157 00:08:04,372 --> 00:08:06,374 - it would be fun to... - Now you're exaggerating. 158 00:08:06,474 --> 00:08:08,509 - I didn't say that. - She said "Scratch golfer." 159 00:08:08,609 --> 00:08:10,278 How much fun would it be to travel with someone else 160 00:08:10,378 --> 00:08:12,047 - that plays golf? - Yeah. 161 00:08:12,113 --> 00:08:14,115 - Then we could all go. - You're in maps right now. 162 00:08:14,215 --> 00:08:16,651 - Oh, this is maps? - You're in maps. 163 00:08:16,831 --> 00:08:18,032 Oh, my God. 164 00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,967 Of course it's yours, are you serious? 165 00:08:20,135 --> 00:08:22,137 - Okay. - That is so rude. 166 00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:24,038 - Okay, okay, okay. - [Groans] 167 00:08:24,139 --> 00:08:25,240 I would not have judged you 168 00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:26,707 if you had slept with other people. 169 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:30,345 - We never had the talk. - Oh, the talk, the talk, 170 00:08:30,445 --> 00:08:32,647 the talk, the talk. Ugh. 171 00:08:32,747 --> 00:08:34,615 Girls don't need the talk. 172 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,851 Only guys need the talk. 173 00:08:39,287 --> 00:08:42,290 I get why you're being so fussy lately. 174 00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:45,025 - I... - I have been fussy 175 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,529 because I have an interloper in my body. 176 00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,498 Yeah. 177 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,004 Look, I'm going to drive you home. 178 00:08:57,172 --> 00:08:58,806 We're going to pick up cold stone. 179 00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,175 I'll rub your feet. 180 00:09:00,241 --> 00:09:02,310 I'm going to take care of you, okay? 181 00:09:04,179 --> 00:09:07,748 [Snoring] 182 00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:21,429 [Footsteps approaching] 183 00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,237 You fucking crazy bitch. 184 00:09:29,337 --> 00:09:30,871 - I'm sorry. - It's okay, 185 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,740 I couldn't sleep either. 186 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:40,381 [Panting and moaning] 187 00:09:44,485 --> 00:09:47,222 - Feels so good. - I'm going to keep kissing you 188 00:09:47,255 --> 00:09:50,458 and see if we can make this van levitate. 189 00:09:50,558 --> 00:09:53,961 Just hang there in the sky. 190 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:55,363 I'll make time stop. 191 00:09:55,463 --> 00:09:58,499 Oh, my God, we need so much fucking time. 192 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,301 I need to fuck you every day of your life. 193 00:10:00,401 --> 00:10:02,403 Oh, I fucking love you. 194 00:10:02,503 --> 00:10:04,872 I fucking love you, Tammy. 195 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:10,678 [Heavy breathing] 196 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:13,581 [Screaming] 197 00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:23,190 What did you do to me? 198 00:10:23,291 --> 00:10:27,127 I made you come. 199 00:10:27,228 --> 00:10:29,230 That wasn't done. 200 00:10:29,330 --> 00:10:32,833 That was something else. 201 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,503 Holy fuck. 202 00:10:35,603 --> 00:10:40,541 Feel like I'm lying in a pool of water. 203 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,949 - Len and I don't... - Have sex like that? 204 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,486 Have sex. 205 00:10:51,586 --> 00:10:54,689 Yeah, me and Barb either. 206 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:07,568 So I said: "Okay, now, now, now." 207 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,438 and I looked down at my hand and I was... 208 00:11:10,538 --> 00:11:13,541 my hand was shaking and I just said it. 209 00:11:13,641 --> 00:11:17,177 And so, um... and I'm so sorry I surprised her. 210 00:11:17,312 --> 00:11:20,315 It was... it was... 211 00:11:20,381 --> 00:11:23,384 so tragically impromptu, but there you have it. 212 00:11:23,484 --> 00:11:27,221 I mean, it's... it... it's done, and, um, 213 00:11:27,322 --> 00:11:30,325 we have one down, and we have two to go. 214 00:11:30,425 --> 00:11:32,827 And then, of course, 215 00:11:32,927 --> 00:11:34,562 the rest of North America. 216 00:11:34,662 --> 00:11:38,032 Thanks for sharing, Maura. You did it. 217 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,767 That's all we have time for today. 218 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:42,803 Remember to try those mindfullness exercises, 219 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,940 and I can't wait to see you all next week. 220 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,509 Let's get a drink. Come on, let's celebrate. 221 00:11:48,609 --> 00:11:50,378 I've got AA after this. 222 00:11:50,478 --> 00:11:51,612 - You have what? - AA, girl. 223 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:54,181 - Oh, oh. - I'm sober also. 224 00:11:54,349 --> 00:11:55,550 You want a drink? 225 00:11:55,650 --> 00:11:57,017 Oh, I'm... I'm sober, hon, sorry. 226 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,686 That's a lot of us. 227 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:02,457 - No takers, huh? - No, um, well, you see, 228 00:12:02,557 --> 00:12:03,758 I just don't want to go back 229 00:12:03,858 --> 00:12:06,927 to the crappy old Palisades just now. 230 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,596 I'm feeling... [Chuckles] 231 00:12:08,696 --> 00:12:11,399 so celebratory, and I was hoping 232 00:12:11,499 --> 00:12:13,934 I could find a nearby place to 233 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,003 I don't know, have a... 234 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,372 Just a... 235 00:12:17,472 --> 00:12:20,741 You know, festive cocktail. 236 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:25,145 Can I persuade you to join me in a festive cocktail? 237 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,647 Okay. Well, I can knock off 238 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,048 a little bit early, but I'll tell you what, 239 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,717 why don't we walk to my place 240 00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,185 'cause I've got some crackers I need to get rid of. 241 00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:32,553 Walk? [Chuckles] 242 00:12:32,653 --> 00:12:35,390 It's utterly Parisian, I'd love to. 243 00:12:35,456 --> 00:12:36,624 You're Davina, right? 244 00:12:36,724 --> 00:12:38,393 - That's right. - I love your name. 245 00:12:38,459 --> 00:12:39,894 - Well, thank you. - Yeah. 246 00:12:39,994 --> 00:12:41,228 You are? 247 00:12:41,396 --> 00:12:42,997 I'm Maura. 248 00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:44,632 Maura. 249 00:12:44,732 --> 00:12:46,667 - Crackers. - Mm-hmm, let's do it. 250 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,404 - Is this every Wednesday? - Every Wednesday. 251 00:12:50,905 --> 00:12:52,407 I don't have any cash at all. 252 00:12:52,473 --> 00:12:54,509 Why are the car seats down? 253 00:12:54,609 --> 00:12:57,077 Oh, I... I moved them when 254 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,279 Tammy and I went to the tile place. 255 00:12:59,414 --> 00:13:01,215 No, no. That one goes over there. 256 00:13:01,315 --> 00:13:02,316 It doesn't matter. 257 00:13:02,417 --> 00:13:03,618 Yes, it does. 258 00:13:03,718 --> 00:13:04,819 Oh, my God, it goes on the other side. 259 00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:08,222 They like to sit... here, just... fine. 260 00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:09,924 - Switch them. - Fine, fine, fine. 261 00:13:10,024 --> 00:13:13,260 - Here you go, take this. - No, excuse me, can I pass? 262 00:13:13,428 --> 00:13:14,795 - Just take the seat. - Just let me pass 263 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,531 and I'll put it on the other side. 264 00:13:16,631 --> 00:13:17,665 Now we're going to be super late. 265 00:13:17,765 --> 00:13:19,033 I already looked at the time. 266 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,535 You know what, Len? That was the tone thing 267 00:13:20,635 --> 00:13:22,770 that I was talking about, okay? 268 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:25,440 Seriously, do you want to start a fight now, 269 00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:26,441 or should we wait after we drop 270 00:13:26,507 --> 00:13:27,642 - the kids off at my mom's? - Hey. 271 00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:29,009 Date night turns you into a monster. 272 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,678 Really? Why is this soaked? 273 00:13:30,778 --> 00:13:33,614 Did a Capri-Sun explode back here? 274 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:34,982 - Zacky, Ella! - My tone? 275 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,483 You want to talk about tone? 276 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,418 I want you to listen to your tone when you talk to me. 277 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,520 I'll get a tape recorder, and I'll play it back for you. 278 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,356 - Yeah, go get a tape recorder. - You can fucking hear it. 279 00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:43,623 I will, I'll find a store. 280 00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:44,959 Good luck. Good luck with that. 281 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,777 It's not my fault. 282 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:03,844 Well, what does that mean? Did she tell you 283 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,312 she was on birth control? 284 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:08,382 Was this an accidental on purpose kind of thing? 285 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:10,084 Do you have any tofu schmear? 286 00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:11,852 - I think so. - Thank you. 287 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,889 Tofu schmear? What the fuck? 288 00:14:14,989 --> 00:14:17,124 I am seeing a trainer, and he says dairy is basically 289 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,926 sludge in your intestines, and I've been walking around 290 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:21,295 farting all the time, and it's probably the dairy. 291 00:14:21,395 --> 00:14:23,831 Got it. 292 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,499 Is she going to have an abortion? 293 00:14:25,599 --> 00:14:26,801 Of course. 294 00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:29,436 Here, try this, sweetie. 295 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,172 Thank you. 296 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,274 Have you ever gotten anybody pregnant before? 297 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,876 - That chick, Carly. - Oh, she was sad. 298 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,477 Can we have a quarter pound of this, please? 299 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,713 Mom is going to freak if you change the standing order. 300 00:14:39,814 --> 00:14:41,415 I'm not changing it, I'm adding to it. 301 00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:43,350 It's an addition. 302 00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,989 Don't you always think about this guy in his apartment? 303 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,525 Like eating dinner in a folding chair 304 00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,060 that he cooked on a hot plate, 305 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,029 just in his boxers and shorts. 306 00:14:55,129 --> 00:14:58,165 No, I don't think about that, ever. 307 00:14:58,265 --> 00:14:59,566 Why would you think about that? 308 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:00,634 I can't help it. 309 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:01,936 Can I pay up now, please? 310 00:15:02,036 --> 00:15:03,137 Okay, you know what? Fine. 311 00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:04,839 I'll just swing back around, 312 00:15:04,872 --> 00:15:06,841 and pick up his soccer stuff, 313 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,008 and drop it off later. 314 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,643 God, you can hear them from here. 315 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:10,744 That's 25 minutes out of your way. 316 00:15:10,845 --> 00:15:12,112 - Yeah, happy Sunday. - Yeah. 317 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,580 Let's get the kids out, save the future. 318 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,748 And you wouldn't have to do that 319 00:15:14,849 --> 00:15:16,083 if you'd thought to pack it. 320 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,852 Well, if you'd seen it in the foyer, 321 00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:19,286 I don't understand why you didn't just put it 322 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:20,855 - into the car. - Because I don't do things 323 00:15:20,888 --> 00:15:22,256 if I'm not being asked to do them 324 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,991 'cause I don't like getting in trouble. 325 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,993 - Anybody else? - Because you're like a child. 326 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,195 Can we take the kids out so you guys can continue 327 00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:29,596 whatever it is that you're doing? 328 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:30,998 Can you take that? Do you mind? 329 00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:34,568 - I'll take it. - You take it then, you take it. 330 00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:38,338 You take it. 331 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,775 Oh, man. 332 00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:43,110 Are you being serious? 333 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,212 The forecast calls for tears? 334 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:46,780 Are you not having any fun today? 335 00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:48,182 You're not going to have one ounce of fun? 336 00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:51,018 Ella forgot her dream light. 337 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:54,889 I got a dream light for you. 338 00:15:54,989 --> 00:15:56,356 One dream light. 339 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,357 Thank you. 340 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,894 Free. 341 00:15:59,927 --> 00:16:01,996 Are you going to be like this all day? 342 00:16:02,096 --> 00:16:04,098 So the other... the other day 343 00:16:04,198 --> 00:16:08,502 when Tammy and I were late, 344 00:16:08,602 --> 00:16:10,971 we were at my dad's place, 345 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,307 you know, we were, like, looking at the house, 346 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,243 and he walked in, and... and he was... 347 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:21,581 [Chuckles] 348 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,618 He was dressed as a woman. 349 00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:26,086 Wait, what? 350 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,156 I'm coming. I'm coming. 351 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:33,160 Hello-oh, Zacky, my... [Kissing] 352 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:34,528 Sarah and Len will be in in a minute. 353 00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:38,498 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, my baby, gorgeous, ever. 354 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,799 - Oh, and you. - Hi. 355 00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:44,371 Hello. Go, go, go, go, go. 356 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:48,042 Wha... what? Who changed the standing order? 357 00:16:48,142 --> 00:16:49,944 Ali got tofu schmear. 358 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,179 Why'd Ali get tofu schmear? 359 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,048 What about the lox spread? What about the veggie? 360 00:16:54,148 --> 00:16:56,083 Nothing was replaced. It was an "Addition to." 361 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,651 - I'm dairy free. - [Gasps] 362 00:16:57,751 --> 00:16:59,686 That's good. I'm dairy free too. 363 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,688 - Since when? - Right now. 364 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:02,957 I've been meaning to cut it out; 365 00:17:03,057 --> 00:17:04,391 makes me very gassy. 366 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:08,862 Yeah, that's probably where you get it from. 367 00:17:08,963 --> 00:17:10,530 How's Ed? 368 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,199 All he does is stare. 369 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:13,767 What does the doctor say? 370 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,535 The doctor, the doctor. 371 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,138 What does the doctor say? What does the doctor say? 372 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,539 Ah, I should write a song. 373 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,408 what does the doctor say 374 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,978 Could be like this for the rest of my life. 375 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,981 I could die, and be rotting in my casket 376 00:17:27,014 --> 00:17:28,248 before anyone notices. 377 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,985 Well, you should get help. 378 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,819 Why can't you help? Hmm? 379 00:17:32,987 --> 00:17:35,155 Did you get a job yet? 380 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,791 Hmm? 381 00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,159 That's what I thought. 382 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,995 Both: * what does the doctor say? * 383 00:17:41,028 --> 00:17:42,162 what does the doctor say? 384 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,731 what does the doctor say? 385 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,333 All: * what does the doctor say? * 386 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,535 what does the doctor say? 387 00:17:50,004 --> 00:17:51,371 I grew up in Los Angeles. 388 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:54,541 I did, uh, I don't know, the whole Jewish thing. 389 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:55,875 It's like musical chairs. 390 00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:59,846 You hit 25, and you just choose the... the one 391 00:18:00,014 --> 00:18:01,148 who's standing closest to you, 392 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:02,249 and so we had three kids, 393 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,751 and we lived in two houses, 394 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:08,055 we had so many pets, 395 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,457 and then, finita la commedia. 396 00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,926 - Tell me about your kids. - Mm-hmm, yeah. 397 00:18:13,027 --> 00:18:14,594 Sarah, she's my oldest. 398 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,929 I told her, 399 00:18:16,030 --> 00:18:17,564 and she took it... she actually took it... 400 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,566 Oh, this is beautiful. 401 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:20,767 She took it very well. 402 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:23,037 Maybe too well, you know. 403 00:18:23,137 --> 00:18:24,704 I think she's internalizing the whole thing, 404 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,041 and next thing, you know, she's going to have shingles. 405 00:18:27,141 --> 00:18:29,076 There's Joshie. 406 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,910 He's my very successful son. 407 00:18:31,045 --> 00:18:33,347 He's in the music business. 408 00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:36,150 He is a very, very, very, very, very, very, 409 00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:38,418 image-conscious, you know, he's always the... 410 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,320 the now thing, and the now restaurant, 411 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,522 and the now, you know, jacket, 412 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,625 and the now sunglasses, and the now girlfriend, 413 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,462 and the now... dungarees. 414 00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:49,863 [Chuckles] 415 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:54,068 And then there's Ali, she's my baby. 416 00:18:54,101 --> 00:18:57,271 That girl does not seem to learn, very smart. 417 00:18:57,371 --> 00:19:01,475 99th percentile on her S.A.T.s. 418 00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:03,743 Wow. 419 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,213 Out-of-the-box smart. 420 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:09,749 She just doesn't seem to be able to... 421 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:12,852 to land. 422 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,688 Can I go into your room? 423 00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:17,791 - Sure. - It's so pretty. 424 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,630 Mm. 425 00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:33,840 I'm going to sit at your vanity. 426 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,476 You know, sweetie, 427 00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,912 this is a really big journey that we're on, 428 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,347 and you've just started on it, 429 00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:41,981 so you've got to learn to let go 430 00:19:42,116 --> 00:19:44,151 of everything anybody thinks of you. 431 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,320 A really, really good friend of mine 432 00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:48,555 said this to me when I first transitioned. 433 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,390 She said, "You know, in five years, 434 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,591 you're going to look up, 435 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,861 and not one of your family members 436 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,030 is still going to be there. 437 00:19:57,131 --> 00:20:00,634 Not one." 438 00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:02,469 Was your friend right? 439 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:06,173 Yep. 440 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,041 That's so sad. 441 00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:12,045 [Police sirens] 442 00:20:12,146 --> 00:20:14,614 - Who is it? - Who's that? 443 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,751 - Hurry! - [Indistinct] [Sirens grow louder] 444 00:20:17,911 --> 00:20:21,981 Mom needs the aerobed pump. Do you know where it is? 445 00:20:22,081 --> 00:20:25,685 No, why would I know where it is? 446 00:20:25,785 --> 00:20:27,221 Mom's leg is bleeding. 447 00:20:27,321 --> 00:20:28,688 Mom's leg is bleeding? 448 00:20:28,788 --> 00:20:30,857 Yeah, I caught my leg on that slatty thing out there. 449 00:20:30,957 --> 00:20:32,426 - I'll get it. - No, no, no. 450 00:20:32,526 --> 00:20:34,194 - Don't... don't do anything. - I got it for you. 451 00:20:34,294 --> 00:20:36,363 When you get to my age, your skin is like Kleenex. 452 00:20:36,463 --> 00:20:39,333 The legend of Tante Gittel's ring. 453 00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:41,301 Will you come blow this thing up, please? 454 00:20:41,401 --> 00:20:44,170 What's the story with this thing again? 455 00:20:44,271 --> 00:20:45,872 Who is Tante Gittel? Is that Grandma Rose's sister 456 00:20:45,972 --> 00:20:47,241 who was in Treblinka? 457 00:20:47,341 --> 00:20:49,243 Did we really have somebody in Treblinka? 458 00:20:49,343 --> 00:20:52,212 Wasn't it she was, like, waiting in line, 459 00:20:52,312 --> 00:20:54,348 going to her death, and handed it to somebody 460 00:20:54,448 --> 00:20:56,483 right before she walked into the gas chamber? 461 00:20:56,583 --> 00:20:57,951 Put that thing away. Your father tried to propose 462 00:20:58,051 --> 00:20:59,519 to me with that fakakta thing. 463 00:20:59,619 --> 00:21:01,321 And I says... I says, "No way, sir, " 464 00:21:01,421 --> 00:21:04,858 and I made him get me another. 465 00:21:04,958 --> 00:21:07,261 You see them out there? 466 00:21:07,294 --> 00:21:09,263 Arguing like that for a half an hour. 467 00:21:09,363 --> 00:21:10,864 I should put the lox away. 468 00:21:10,964 --> 00:21:12,666 I don't want it to dry out. 469 00:21:12,766 --> 00:21:15,569 [Air pump running] 470 00:21:22,442 --> 00:21:24,911 [Birds squawking] 471 00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:29,416 Well, so the fuck what? 472 00:21:29,516 --> 00:21:32,686 You know, your dad's always been creepy. 473 00:21:32,786 --> 00:21:33,687 Creepy? 474 00:21:33,787 --> 00:21:35,922 This is not about being creepy. 475 00:21:36,022 --> 00:21:39,326 This is like... this is about being in the wrong body. 476 00:21:39,426 --> 00:21:40,927 I mean, just... can you have a little empathy? 477 00:21:41,027 --> 00:21:41,961 It's like... it's like... 478 00:21:42,061 --> 00:21:43,029 it's like he's been... 479 00:21:43,129 --> 00:21:44,498 it's like he's hiding. 480 00:21:44,598 --> 00:21:46,466 It's like he's been hiding his whole life. 481 00:21:46,566 --> 00:21:49,469 Oh, fuck. Don't tell Ali, okay? 482 00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:51,638 'Cause my dad's not talked to her yet. 483 00:21:51,738 --> 00:21:52,672 What? 484 00:21:52,772 --> 00:21:54,308 - Ma'am, ma'am. - [Geese honking] 485 00:21:54,341 --> 00:21:55,609 I going to have to ask you 486 00:21:55,709 --> 00:21:57,311 to use caution when passing through this area 487 00:21:57,377 --> 00:21:58,812 with our goose population. 488 00:21:58,912 --> 00:22:02,015 Okay, Officer. I'm... I'm just going over here, 489 00:22:02,115 --> 00:22:03,617 using caution. 490 00:22:03,717 --> 00:22:05,319 You guys have to come in at some point. 491 00:22:05,385 --> 00:22:06,720 Are the kids okay? 492 00:22:06,820 --> 00:22:08,322 Just put a movie on, they like Frozen. 493 00:22:08,422 --> 00:22:09,456 - They're fine. - We'll be in in a minute. 494 00:22:09,556 --> 00:22:11,558 Oh, my God. What is this? 495 00:22:11,658 --> 00:22:13,192 - It's tofu schmear. - It's disgusting. 496 00:22:13,327 --> 00:22:14,461 I don't want this. 497 00:22:14,561 --> 00:22:17,331 I'm keeping mine. This is tip-top. 498 00:22:17,431 --> 00:22:19,065 - Thank you. - Repulsive. 499 00:22:19,165 --> 00:22:21,335 - Fucking capers. - Please hurry. 500 00:22:21,435 --> 00:22:22,536 - [Geese honking] - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ali, Ali. 501 00:22:22,636 --> 00:22:24,838 - Hello. - Ali, drop your plate. 502 00:22:24,938 --> 00:22:26,205 - [Yells] - Ali. 503 00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:27,407 Ma'am, what you're looking at 504 00:22:27,507 --> 00:22:28,642 is a posturing goose. 505 00:22:28,742 --> 00:22:30,710 Hello. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 506 00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:32,679 He will rip your arm off or worse, 507 00:22:32,779 --> 00:22:33,880 for whatever you got on that plate. 508 00:22:33,980 --> 00:22:35,148 Drop it! Drop it! 509 00:22:35,248 --> 00:22:36,383 - To the left! - Go around the bench. 510 00:22:36,483 --> 00:22:38,352 - Ali, drop the plate! - [Screams] 511 00:22:38,452 --> 00:22:40,354 Hide the food! 512 00:22:40,454 --> 00:22:41,755 That bird can bite people. 513 00:22:41,855 --> 00:22:43,523 Just drop the plate! 514 00:22:43,623 --> 00:22:44,824 Step back, step back. 515 00:22:44,924 --> 00:22:47,961 Oh, for crying out loud. 516 00:22:48,061 --> 00:22:49,763 [Goose honking] 517 00:22:58,104 --> 00:22:59,506 My dream light only works 518 00:22:59,606 --> 00:23:02,742 if you close all the blinds first. 519 00:23:02,842 --> 00:23:06,880 Blinds closed. 520 00:23:06,980 --> 00:23:08,382 - This light? - Yeah. 521 00:23:17,391 --> 00:23:20,694 You look like you're under water, Uncle Joshie. 522 00:23:20,794 --> 00:23:23,229 And you look like you're under water. 523 00:23:23,397 --> 00:23:24,864 We're both under water. 524 00:23:24,964 --> 00:23:26,165 Yeah. 525 00:23:26,265 --> 00:23:29,736 This whole house is under the ocean. 526 00:23:29,836 --> 00:23:30,837 Yeah. 527 00:23:38,412 --> 00:23:43,650 I got to bet that your old man... 528 00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:46,185 And that's good night to Murray. 529 00:23:46,285 --> 00:23:48,154 Oh, my goodness. 530 00:23:48,254 --> 00:23:51,124 531 00:23:51,224 --> 00:23:53,159 He was a sweet old queen. 532 00:23:53,259 --> 00:23:58,264 turned you loose, your mama too 533 00:23:58,432 --> 00:24:03,670 there wasn't a thing that you could do 534 00:24:09,042 --> 00:24:15,248 but I got faith in you, it's a razor love 535 00:24:15,348 --> 00:24:20,654 that cuts clean through 536 00:24:20,754 --> 00:24:24,223 Come on. Come on in, honey. It's fine. 537 00:24:24,323 --> 00:24:25,692 We all check on each other's mail, 538 00:24:25,792 --> 00:24:27,527 water each other's plants. 539 00:24:27,627 --> 00:24:30,329 it's a razor love 540 00:24:30,464 --> 00:24:34,634 - Mm. - * that cuts clean through * 541 00:24:34,734 --> 00:24:35,802 I feel it's a little untoward 542 00:24:35,902 --> 00:24:37,537 looky-looing through his place. 543 00:24:37,637 --> 00:24:40,273 It's okay. Murray wouldn't mind, really. 544 00:24:40,373 --> 00:24:41,274 It's fine. 545 00:24:41,374 --> 00:24:43,477 546 00:24:43,510 --> 00:24:47,781 The last vacancy here went for two grand. 547 00:24:47,881 --> 00:24:50,784 Honestly, 2,000 is... is cheap. 548 00:24:55,288 --> 00:24:59,392 looking through the window at a silhouette 549 00:24:59,493 --> 00:25:03,362 trying to find something I can't find yet 550 00:25:03,497 --> 00:25:06,933 imagination is my best friend 551 00:25:07,033 --> 00:25:10,704 got to look out for the greedy hand, greedy hand 552 00:25:10,804 --> 00:25:14,741 make a living like a rolling stone 553 00:25:14,841 --> 00:25:18,812 on the road there's no place like home 554 00:25:18,912 --> 00:25:27,020 silhouettes on the window 555 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:33,126 556 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,304 who was it made your eyes flicker like that... 557 00:25:45,404 --> 00:25:46,573 Okay, just think. 558 00:25:46,673 --> 00:25:49,776 If we did absolutely nothing, 559 00:25:49,876 --> 00:25:54,347 in like eight months, a person would be here. 560 00:25:54,548 --> 00:25:56,983 A new person who is half of you 561 00:25:57,083 --> 00:25:59,152 - and half of me. - But what about Glitterish? 562 00:25:59,252 --> 00:26:00,554 What about my music career? 563 00:26:00,620 --> 00:26:02,155 You're supposed to be representing me. 564 00:26:02,255 --> 00:26:05,358 I know, but think about 565 00:26:05,458 --> 00:26:07,126 all the possibilities. 566 00:26:07,226 --> 00:26:08,828 Like we could go to Topanga, 567 00:26:08,928 --> 00:26:10,997 we could go to Northern California. 568 00:26:11,097 --> 00:26:12,198 We could get a cabin. 569 00:26:12,298 --> 00:26:13,332 We could have a baby. 570 00:26:13,432 --> 00:26:14,467 We could record there. 571 00:26:14,568 --> 00:26:15,902 We could go to the woods, 572 00:26:16,002 --> 00:26:18,104 and you could just, like, get fat, and, like, 573 00:26:18,204 --> 00:26:19,573 a ripe peach. 574 00:26:19,639 --> 00:26:20,807 I don't want to be a peach. 575 00:26:20,907 --> 00:26:24,110 Okay, look, come here. 576 00:26:24,210 --> 00:26:26,145 Come here. Come on, come on. 577 00:26:26,245 --> 00:26:28,848 Please, have a seat. 578 00:26:28,948 --> 00:26:32,251 Um, okay. 579 00:26:38,725 --> 00:26:41,027 We should get married. 580 00:26:41,127 --> 00:26:42,295 What is that? 581 00:26:42,395 --> 00:26:43,863 It's my Tante Gittel's ring. 582 00:26:43,963 --> 00:26:45,932 I'm pretty sure she died in the Holocaust. 583 00:26:46,032 --> 00:26:47,333 Ew. 584 00:26:47,433 --> 00:26:48,367 "Ew"? 585 00:26:48,467 --> 00:26:50,970 "Ew" to what? 586 00:26:51,070 --> 00:26:52,505 The Holocaust. 587 00:26:52,606 --> 00:26:53,840 "Ew" to the Holocaust? 588 00:26:53,940 --> 00:26:55,474 I mean no girl wants to get proposed to 589 00:26:55,609 --> 00:26:58,277 with a ring that came from the Holocaust. 590 00:27:01,715 --> 00:27:06,519 Hello? Hello? 591 00:27:06,620 --> 00:27:08,822 I just want you to think about it. 592 00:27:08,922 --> 00:27:12,626 got to look out for the greedy hand, greedy hand 593 00:27:12,659 --> 00:27:16,462 make a living like a rolling stone 594 00:27:16,630 --> 00:27:20,499 on the road there's no place like home 595 00:27:20,634 --> 00:27:28,507 silhouettes on the window 596 00:27:28,642 --> 00:27:34,848 597 00:27:34,948 --> 00:27:41,655 and all I got for you is the kind of love 598 00:27:41,721 --> 00:27:45,024 that cuts clean through 599 00:27:45,124 --> 00:27:50,463 600 00:27:50,563 --> 00:27:57,203 all I got for you is a razor love 601 00:27:57,303 --> 00:27:59,906 it cuts clean through 602 00:28:00,006 --> 00:28:05,211 603 00:28:05,311 --> 00:28:10,684 you really make my day 604 00:28:10,784 --> 00:28:16,555 with the little things you say 605 00:28:16,690 --> 00:28:20,093 606 00:28:20,193 --> 00:28:23,396 [harmonica plays] 607 00:28:23,496 --> 00:28:30,937 608 00:28:30,938 --> 00:28:35,938 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 609 00:28:35,988 --> 00:28:40,538 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42372

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