Original subtitles

? What would you do if I sang out of tune? ?

? Would you stand up and walk out on me? ?

? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ?

? I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ?

? Oh, baby, I get by ? ? By with a little help from my friends ?

? All I need is my buddies ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? ?Try with a little help from my friends ?

- ? Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah ? - ? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

It always seemed that in my house,

the most dramatic things...

[ Thunder crashes ]

Happened in the middle of the night.

Like the night of the big blizzard

when Dad got stuck out on the highway

and we thought we'd never see him again.

[ Thunder crashes ]

Or the night my brother

swallowed a whole bag of marbles

and threw them up in the car on the way to the hospital.

[ Thunder crashes ]

Or the night my eight-legged science project escaped

and turned up in Mom's nightgown at 3:00 A.M.

But nothing ever created quite as much confusion

around my house as the night...

[ Doorbell rings ]

My sister came back home.

Honey?

Hi.

What time is it?

Karen, are you all right?

I'm fine, Mom.

Can I come in?

- Of course. - Thanks.

Like I said,

we weren't exactly strangers to midnight crises.

Honey, you're soaked.

Yeah. I know, Mom.

How did you get here?

Uh, my friend Robin gave me a ride.

Do you have any tea?

Well, yeah.

Still, for some reason,

there was something about this night

that was just a tad more baffling than usual.

Is that Karen?

No, butthead. It's Santa Claus.

Oh.

Karen, what happened?

Nothing happened. Mom, do we have any herbal?

Oh, here, honey. I'll get it.

- It's up here. - Thanks.

Well, something must have happened.

I-it's 2:00 in the morning.

Honey, did you and Michael have a fight?

Something like that.

A fight? What kind of fight?

Daddy, I really don't want to talk about it, okay?

Do we have any pretzels?

Wait a minute.

What do you mean, you don't want to talk about it?

You show up soaking wet, freezing,

in the middle of the night.

Jack, she's upset.

That's right.

I'm going to bed.

What bed?

The one in my room, of course.

She's taking my room! Mom!

Honey, don't worry. You can sleep in Kevin's room.

- Mom! Wait! - And there you had it.

- Mom! - Can't she sleep in the garage?

Oh. No.

In one burst of confusion,

Karen had blown back into our house

and completely rearranged our lives.

At least let me get you an extra blanket, honey.

No, Mom. I'll... I'll be fine.

Karen...

Look, I'm tired, and I'm wet,

and I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Okay?

And the weird thing was...

Good night.

None of us had any idea why.

[ Rooster crows ]

- I did not. - You did so.

- That wasn't me. - Yes, it was, troll.

You snore tonight, you lose your tongue.

Me? What about you?

Hey. Hey!

Hey!

Knock it off.

All in all, it was kind of a restless night...

Morning!

For most of us, anyway.

Good morning, honey. How'd you sleep?

Great.

So, Karen, what happened last night?

Michael and I got in an argument.

And?

Do you guys have any orange juice?

Karen.

Look, it's really very simple...

I just decided things weren't working between me and Michael.

So I'm moving out.

Now, considering Karen

had been shacking up with the guy for a year,

this was no small news.

Honey, does this mean you're gonna be moving back

into the college dorms?

Not exactly.

As a matter of fact, I was thinking of moving back here.

- What? - Huh?

I'm going out to the garage.

Needless to say,

it was a decision not without repercussions,

for all of us.

[ Door closes ] What's going on here?

I'm not sure she knows what she's doing.

Well, somebody better go talk to her.

After all, moving out was one thing.

Moving back in was quite another.

Okay.

I'll talk to her.

So, we set out to settle the confusion,

iron out the turmoil.

Not that Dad would have to go it alone.

We had a stake in this, too.

[ Clears throat ] Karen?

What are you doing?

Did you guys throw out my Jefferson airplane poster?

I'm not sure.

I just wanted to hang it back up on my wall.

Yeah, well, about that, Karen.

You know, everybody has fights. That happens to everybody.

Dad, Michael is the most chauvinistic, pigheaded,

closed-minded man I've ever met.

Uh-huh. We were off to a great start.

Listen, Kar, I know you're upset and everything,

but...

Are you sure you want to come back here?

Why, is that a problem?

Uh, no. No, it's just...

What about college?

I mean, you got your classes, and...

daddy, don't worry about that. I'll figure it out.

I mean, right now I just want to,

you know, take some time, think things over,

take the summer to get things straight, okay?

Well, that... Sounds reasonable.

Translation... Wayne and I were condemned to one room.

Look, Dad, the last thing I wanted to do was to drag you

in the middle of this thing between me and Michael.

Well... That's okay.

So, I was wondering,

could you go up there and get my stuff?

[ Buzzer! ]

And suddenly...

[ Doorbell rings ]

The plot began to thicken.

Hi.

- Hi. - Hi. -Hi.

It's us.

Where's Karen?

She, um...

She couldn't be here.

She kind of asked us to, uh...

We came to get her loot.

Well, we did, didn't we?

And with that...

we were through the gates and onto the deck...

Of the Titanic.

[ Foghorn blows ]

Oh, brother.

Looked kind of like heartbreak hotel.

Sorry about the mess.

I wasn't expecting... Company.

Look, we don't want to put you out.

We just want to get Karen's things.

Things.

Yeah.

Well, most of her things are upstairs, but...

that'll be fine. Let's go.

Still, I couldn't help feeling like Attila the Hun.

Seemed like I owed the guy some word of consolation.

Sorry about all this.

Yeah.

So much for consolation. It was time to get packing.

Not that that was gonna be easy...

In the middle of the lucky couple's bedroom.

So... This is where it all happened.

Sorry.

Didn't have a chance to make the bed.

Clearly, there was only one thing to do...

load up and move out.

So, where do we start?

How about this?

That's our tent.

Karen and I were supposed to go to mount pine next week

for our first anniversary.

Bummer.

[ Sighs ] Michael...

You think you could help us out with this?

'Course it was pretty clear

the guy didn't really have a choice.

[ Sighs ] Well...

She keeps most of her things in there.

The top two drawers.

And with that, we crossed the Rubicon...

[ Violins screeching ]

And reached...

The wall of underwear.

[ Horn honks ]

Still, an hour later,

we were on our way...

Let's get out of here.

With Karen's life in boxes.

Mr. Arnold, wait.

I can't let you do this.

Michael, we're going.

Fine, then.

I'll go with you.

Unhunh.

Well, I can't just let this happen, can I?

I mean, just because we had an argument

doesn't mean you move out of someone's life, do you?

- Michael... - I mean, you know how she is.

She's stubborn and pigheaded.

She won't listen to anybody.

What would you do?

Now, understand, my Dad was a patient man,

a private man, a good man.

But he was no Ann Landers.

Look, Michael, what you do is your business.

All I know is I never wanted you two

living like this in the first place.

And with that, we'd reached the bottom line.

Yeah, neither did I.

What did you say?

Well, that's what the fight was about.

Didn't she tell you?

I wanted to marry her.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, honey.

Just in time to eat.

Two hours later, we were home with the goods.

Did you get all my things?

Yeah, I think we got everything.

Yep... books, records, underwear.

[ Motorcycle approaches ]

Plus a few things that maybe weren't on the list.

[ Knock on door ]

Hi.

I don't believe you.

And in the glow of that heartwarming moment,

there was only one thing to say.

So, what's for dinner?

And so we sat down to sup,

the traditional Arnold nuclear family unit...

Plus the man who came to dinner.

The meat loaf is delicious, Mrs. Arnold.

Thank you.

It was kind of like having a 2-ton elephant at the table.

Not that we couldn't be hospitable

about the whole thing.

You know, Michael, I really wasn't expecting you here.

Yeah. I guess not. [ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

So, why are you here?

I

Simple.

Dad invited him.

What?

No, Norma. I, uh, didn't invite him.

No, he didn't invite me.

- Yeah. Mom, he just... - Jack.

[ Door closes ]

And it was time for another lovebird serenade.

Hi.

Look, Karen, why don't we take a walk and talk this over?

There's nothing to talk about.

What does that mean?

Michael.

Karen, all I did was ask you to marry me.

Whoops.

I beg your pardon.

Norma, I was gonna...

fine, Michael. You want to talk about it? Let's talk about it.

Marriage is an antiquated, male-centered institution.

And I don't believe in it.

Institution?

Karen, this is you and me, not some building.

Fine. You can make a joke of it.

Karen, I am not joking.

Yes, you are, Michael.

Wait. Please.

But if Mom meant to untie the tangle here...

It seems to me...

look, it's really very simple.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life

making meat loaf and mashed potatoes.

The tangle got worse.

Karen, why do you always have to be like this?

See? You're already trying to change me!

I am not!

Michael, I want you to leave.

Now.

Fine.

[ Door opens, closes ]

And there you had it.

It was as if a tornado had blown through our house...

[ Door slams ] ...And left no survivors.

Would you mind getting the dishes, Jack?

Dad, can I have his roll?

[ Engine turns over ]

Michael!

Maybe it was dumb I went out there,

but he was a guy I admired,

and I didn't want him to just leave.

You're not just gonna go like this, are you?

I don't think she really left me a choice.

Yeah, but I've known my sister all my life.

She never means anything she says.

Well, nice try, anyway.

I'm pretty sure she meant it, Kevin.

But...

I don't know.

It just seemed I should say something to make this better,

something about men and women

and human relationships.

Maybe she'll change her mind.

Yeah.

Well, thanks for the advice.

Yeah.

See ya.

For the rest of that day, nobody really said much.

For some reason, we all pretty much kept to ourselves.

The funny thing is, you'd think a marriage proposal

would bring a family together.

But this was 1972.

[ Motorcycle approaches ]

Things had gotten very complicated.

[ Engine shuts off ]

What's going on?

I don't know.

It was kind of like watching

the marines land at Omaha beach.

What's this all about?

How should I know?

He's pitching that damn tent.

Michael?

Michael, have you lost your mind?

Michael!

But somehow, the guy didn't appear in the mood

for conversation.

He's lost it.

You're telling me.

I think you better do something, Jack.

Me?

[ Chuckles ]

He's not gonna listen to me.

All right, then.

I'll talk to him.

No.

I don't want anyone talking to him.

This is between Michael and me.

Karen.

Mom, I'll handle this.

Leaving one small question.

So, what are you gonna do?

Nothing. I'll just ignore him.

I'm going to bed.

Good night.

And there really wasn't a whole lot left

for the rest of us to do.

Except, of course...

Hide in the kitchen.

No, Mrs. Litton, he's not one of those agitators.

He's a... Friend of the family.

I'm sure he'll be gone in the morning.

Yeah. Sorry.

There we were, prisoners in our own house,

bunkered down at 3:00 A.M.

While some maniac banged tent poles into our flower patch.

You know, this is stupid.

You know that, don't you?

I mean, are we just gonna sit here all night?

We can't, right? I mean, that'd be idiotic.

So I think we should do something.

There.

It was a clear and bold call for action.

Mom...

Is there any more meat loaf?

I'll make some coffee.

The truth was clear.

This problem was too big for us to solve by ourselves.

It was gonna take something bigger,

something more powerful.

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

Karen?

Hi.

The thing is, she looked almost frightened,

as if there was something out there that scared her to death.

[ Thunder crashes ]

Maybe there was.

[ Thunder rumbles ]

I thought you went back to bed.

I did.

I just... I couldn't sleep.

[ Thunder crashes ]

This is insane.

And we all knew it was.

I guess love always is.

He's just standing there.

What is he doing?

Well, for one thing, he's getting pretty wet.

I'll tell you something, though,

any guy who'd go through all this

then stand out there in the rain

must be really crazy about you.

[ Thunder crashes ]

Daddy, what am I supposed to do?

But the fact was,

we'd done just about everything any family could.

From now on,

it was out of our hands.

Karen?

It's freezing out there.

I'm gonna bring him some coffee.

[ Thunder rumbles ]

No.

I'll do it.

Like I said,

anything really important that happened at my house...

[ Thunder crashes ]

Happened in the middle of the night.

You cold?

Nah.

A little.

Here.

What took you so long?

Jerk.

[ Thunder crashes ]

In a way, it was a relief to all of us.

We weren't really good at things like romance.

We were better at marbles

and eight-legged science projects.

Look, Karen,

I don't care about getting married and being married.

I just want us to be together.

What took you so long?

10 days later, Karen asked Michael to marry her...

? Desperado ?

And he accepted.

? Why don't you come to your senses? ?

? Come down from your fences ?

? Open the gate ?

? It may be rainin' ?

? But there's a rainbow above you ?

? You better let somebody love you ?

? Let somebody love you ?

? Before it's too late ?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0