Original subtitles

? Dum-do-dum, dooby-do ?

? Dum dum, dum-ooh-dum ?

? Mm dooby-do ?

? Come softly, darling ?

? Come softly, darling ?

Once upon a time, life was simple.

Cars were big.

Gas was cheap.

Front lawns were green.

And everybody liked Ike.

? You're my obsession... ?

The good guys were good...

And the bad guys were bad.

You knew where you stood.

Then in 1968, something happened...

something big.

[ Explosion ]

[ Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth" plays ] I turned 12 years old.

I entered junior high school.

That was me.

? What would you do if I sang out of tune? ?

? Would you stand up and walk out on me? ?

? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ?

? I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ?

? Oh, baby, I get by ? ? By with a little help from my friends ?

? All I need is my buddies ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? -? Try with a little help from my friends ?

? Whoa-oa-oa-oa ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Somebody who knows quite sure ?

? Baby ?

? By with a little help from my friends ?

? Said I'm gonna make it with my friends ?

? Try with a little help from my friends ?

? Oh, I'm gonna keep on trying ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm gonna keep on trying now, baby ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh ? ?

? There's somethin' happenin' here... ?

For three years between 1968 and 1971, I went to school...

here, Robert F. Kennedy Junior High.

Through those portals lay a world

the likes of which we'd never seen before.

[ School bell rings ]

The world of...

Higher education.

[ Students whispering ]

Now, if I hear any giggling,

if I see any smirking, this class is over.

Do you read me, people?

Over.

Sex-ed class... 7th grade.

Now...

The female reproductive organs look like this.

All right!

[ Students whispering ]

Unfortunately, it looked more like a cow's head to me.

Now...

Who can tell me what these are?

Yes?

The ears?

Apparently, I wasn't alone.

The...

Ovaries.

The ears would be...

Up here.

Uh, w-why don't you draw the whole lady

s-so we know where everything goes?

Yeah, the whole lady.

All right.

Fact was, the teachers I had at RFK

ranged from the ridiculous...

To the sublime.

[ Heavenly music plays ]

Hello, Kevin.

Hi, Miss White.

? Wa... ?

To sustain the note...

From the exasperating...

air flow out gently.

To the intimidating.

Kevin Arnold.

You're Wayne's brother, aren't you?

Well...

You've got a tough row to hoe, young man.

A tough row to hoe.

From the ineffectual...

Do not try this at home.

To the indecipherable.

Yes?

Um...

I have a question about my quiz.

About the grade.

Well, it's a "d."

Yes, it is.

Well, I... Think it might be wrong.

You're right.

Number five should be -1/2.

That's half off.

This is a d-.

Not that I didn't learn anything from my teachers.

Thank you for calling that to my attention.

Oh.

It's just that, as with most adolescents...

Mom?

My real education began at home, from my family.

[ Garbage disposal grinding ] Mom?!

[ Grindings stops ] - Yeah?

II was just asking you

about where our family came from.

I mean, what are we?

What are we?

Yeah. You know, like, Paul's Jewish,

and Winnie's Irish, so what are we?

Oh. Well, gosh, Kevin.

That's kind of hard to...

Well, let me... let me see.

Jack's mother is Italian.

Well, actually, she's half-Italian

'cause her mother's Romanian.

And then, his father's Polish. Pretty sure about that.

Then, my great-grandfather came over from Scandinavia.

He came over a long time ago

and married my great-grandmother,

whose parents were welsh.

But, of course, she grew up in Ohio

before they moved to Detroit.

My mother instilled in me a deep appreciation

for the importance of family and knowing your roots.

Or was it Norway?

Then, of course... There was my father.

Dad? We've got to talk.

Huh?

The man who taught me

the intricacies of progressive parenting.

Can you think of one good reason

why I shouldn't be able to play football with the other guys?

I mean, I bet you played football without any equipment

when you were a little kid,

and I've been playing for a very long time now,

and nothing's ever really happened.

And the guys are really counting on me to play tonight.

So?

So, can we play or not?

Sure. Go ahead.

Touchdown!

I don't think it's a good idea, Jack.

You heard your mother.

I'll tell you what to do.

My sister taught me the concept of independence.

This is a democracy, isn't it?

Then exercise your rights!

But how do we do that?

Simple.

There's a planning board meeting every Sunday night, downtown.

You should demand to be heard.

[ Revolutionary war-era music plays ]

You should fight for what's important.

You have to take action.

Kevin, we are the people.

I think we should do it.

Yeah.

Great! Let's go!

Can you give us a ride?

Not me.

I got a date.

This Louis guy's a major butthead!

And, by accident of birth...

Ladies and gentlemen, my brother, Wayne...

a pillar of support in times of crisis.

So he's a butthead. It's just Karen.

So, he said stuff to Mom.

So?

And he's a radical...

you know, like at college?

So?

And he and Karen are lovers.

And I'm not sure if Karen knows about this,

but he's got another lover... named Marisa.

Whoa!

Two lovers?

You know, I bet they do it in the microbus.

I mean, I swear I saw it rocking back and forth before.

You know what we could do?

We could drill a hole in it and set up a camera.

You know, I bet sometimes, when he's doing it with Karen,

he shouts, "oh, God, Marisa!"

"Oh, God! Oh!" [ Smooching ]

Hamster patrol. Stay out of here, Wayne.

[ Mockingly ] "Stay out of here, Wayne."

[ Vacuum cleaner whirs ]

[ Normal voice ] Now, mother told you to be sure

to clean up after those little devils. [ Laughs ]

Give me that. Stop it.

Wayne.

Whoohoo!

Wayne, get out of here!

Work, work, work. That's all I ever do around here.

- Get out of here. - Just trying to help...

get out of here! You're gonna hurt them!

Now, would I do something like that?

I'm just trying to... [ Thud ]

No! Wheezer!

[ Whirring stops ]

Tonight, while you sleep, pal!

All in all, I guess you could say

my family was kind of a proving ground for the lessons of life.

Dad, have you ever thought about your life?

Huh?

I mean, if you had to write about it,

what would you say?

I get up at 5:00 in the morning.

I fight traffic.

I bust my hump all day.

I fight traffic again.

And I come home.

Then I pay my taxes.

The end.

[ Groans ]

I learned a lot of things from a lot of people.

"Friends"?!

- Unh! - I'll give you "friends"!

Unh!

Too bad I never learned how to deal with the opposite sex.

[ Door slams ]

I really didn't understand girls.

I mean... and let me be absolutely clear

about what I mean.

I really... Didn't... Understand... Girls.

[ Futuristic music plays ]

Spock, where are we?

It appears, captain,

that we are on an alien planet

inhabited by strange beings with long hair

and very short skirts.

Who are you? What do you want from us?

[ Warbling ] [ Groaning ]

We're men! Men!

Hi, Kevin.

What are you doing here?

I was just taking a walk.

It's a little hectic at my house right now.

Do you need any help with this?

No, that's okay. I can handle it.

It's part of my "really neat summer."

Oh.

Well, maybe we can talk about it tonight,

at the party.

Yeah, well, I don't think I'm gonna be there.

Oh.

Well? Did you show it to anybody?

Show what?

Well, the yearbook.

You know, what I wrote?

Oh.

Yeah, well, you can just forget about it, okay?

'Cause I didn't mean a word of it.

I mean, you can just rip out the page

and throw it in the garbage because...

[ footsteps receding ]

Let's face it... women were an enigma.

But in a lot of ways... So was life.

And I was only in junior high.

This is the time and this is the place to be alive.

? People try to put us d-down ?

? Talkin' 'bout my generation... ?

In the years between 1968 and 1971,

a lot of people were tuning in, turning on, and dropping out.

? ...awful c-c-cold ?

? Talkin' 'bout my generation ?

? I hope I die before I get old ?

? Talkin' 'bout my generation ?

As for me,

I was busy just trying to survive junior high school.

And it wasn't easy.

[ Music fades, engine rumbling ]

Probably wouldn't have made it

without my best friend, Paul Pfeiffer.

Holy cow!

Try not to drool on it, okay?

If Karen finds out I have this, she'll kill me.

Paul, your mother called.

She wants you to come home right away.

Okay.

Well, I guess I'll see you at the bus stop.

Yeah.

Last night I had a dream

that when I got to school, I realized I had no clothes on.

If you're naked when you get to the bus stop,

I'll tell you.

Thanks.

[ School bell rings ]

Paul and I were inseparable.

I don't want to talk to you!

Paul, look, I know I hurt your feelings,

and I'm really, really sorry.

And I'm gonna make it up to you really, really soon.

I said I don't want to talk to you!

Anybody who could be so mean and...

hey, where are you going?!

Oh, I'm gonna be right back,

and then you can be as mean to me as you want.

Hey, wait a minute!

Fine! Go!

[ Sighs ]

Heidi wore perfume today, the kind I'm allergic to.

But when I sneezed, she said, "gesundheit."

She could have just said "bless you,"

but she gave it to me in German.

You're an animal, Paul.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go get an ice-cream sandwich.

Got to keep up that strength.

It was a relationship based on mutual support.

Well, at least I'm not an ugly, four-eyed jerk

that nobody likes!

[ Cards scatter ]

Total butthead!

Loser!

[ Door slams ]

[ Kicks dresser, records clatter ]

Okay, so we had the occasional difference of opinion.

Somehow, we always managed

to find our way home to each other.

We didn't really have a choice.

Like it or not, we were friends.

[ Sighs ] Hi, you guys.

Paul, me... not to mention Winnie Cooper.

Hi.

Hi.

Are you guys mad at me?

What do you mean?

Well, yesterday in the hall...

You just looked like you were mad at me.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, me neither.

Okay. Forget it.

Hey, Winnie.

Um...

How come you're wearing your glasses?

Huh?

How come you're wearing your glasses?

Oh. I lost one of my contacts.

I look so stupid in these things.

No, you don't.

You look good.

I'm serious!

You look much smarter.

In fact, Paul and I were just saying the other day

how dumb you look in contacts.

Weren't we, Paul?

Oh, yeah. Tell me about it.

No, really.

I'm surprised your teachers haven't started grading you down

just because you look dumb.

Oh, you're one to talk.

Hey, I'm just being honest. I would not lie about this.

Would I lie about this, Paul?

I've known him for 12 years, and he would not lie about this.

You definitely look stupid in contacts.

You guys!

Who's gonna tell you these things, if not your friends?

But, of course, Winnie and I were more than friends.

"Hi, I'm Kevin Arnold.

"And I'm really nice to people's faces,

and then I cut them down behind their backs!"

Oh, are you sick?

Here... I'll take care of you!

- [ Groaning ] Winnie... - What's the matter?

Stomach feeling a little queasy, is it?

Feels like the least little thing might set it off?

Winnie, please.

Maybe I should get you something to eat!

How about some coleslaw?

Liver?

Fried squid?!

Kevin!

Winnie... I just want you to know that...

I know.

No, you don't have to say anything.

Just... Know that I know. Okay?

Know what?

Winnie! Paul told me!

And I'm glad he did!

Paul told you?

Well, yeah! Isn't that great?!

Paul told you?!

He says you're crazy about me!

[ Door slams ]

Those years were like a long journey for me.

Looking back,

it was a time when we were still very small...

And the world seemed very big.

And I think about those days again and again...

Whenever some blowhard

starts talking about the anonymity of the suburbs

or the mindlessness of the TV generation...

Because I know I'll never forget those times...

Those years of wonder.

I'm sorry.

About Brian.

And I'm sorry...

About what I said today.

It wasn't true.

I know.

[ Sighs ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

[ Judy Collins' "In My Life" plays ]

? There are places I remember ?

? All my life ?

? Though some have changed ?

? Some forever, not for better ?

? Some are gone, and some remain ?

? All these places had their meanings ?

? With lovers and friends I still can recall ?

? Some are dead and some are living ?

? In my life, I've loved them all ?

? But of all these friends and lovers ?

? There is no one compares with you ?

? And these memories lose their meaning ?

? When I think of love as something new ?

? Though I know I'll never lose affection ?

? For people and things that went before ?

? I know I'll often stop and think about them ?

? In my life, I love you more ?

? Though I know I'll never lose affection ?

? For people and things that went before ?

? I know I'll often stop and think about them ?

? In my life, I love you more ?

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