All language subtitles for The Wonder Years s03e18.eng

? What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ?

? Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ?

? Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ?

? I will try not to sing
out of key, yeah ?

? Oh, baby, I get by ?
? By with a little help from my friends ?

? All I need is my buddies ?

? High with a little help
from my friends ?

? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? -?
Try with a little help from my friends ?

- ? Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah ?
- ? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

? Amazing Grace ?

Once upon a time,
our country was founded upon...

Faith.

? ...the sound ?

? That saved... ?

Faith in all its forms.

? ...a wretch like me ?

But during the late 1960s,

people began looking heavenward

for new answers
to old questions.

And we have liftoff, Apollo 13.

? Was blind but now I see ?

The bravest among us
journeyed into the unknown,

while the rest of us stood by
with our support,

our goodwill, and of course...

Damn!

Our taxes.

[ Briefcase thuds ]

Already?

For my father,
April was the cruelest month.

I bust my hump all year
for this?

It wasn't that dad
didn't have faith in Uncle Sam.

He believed in taxes.

Here you are, honey.

Mm.

It was just the part about
paying them he resented.

So, from the moment the old
1040s arrived in the mail,

life around the Arnold house

shifted into a kind of
state of emergency.

Here, daddy.

Have a seat.

[ Man speaking indistinctly
on TV ]

We all knew the drill.

And each of us
had an assignment.

[ Groans ]

Apollo 13 astronauts
report smooth sailing

on day one of their mission
to the moon.

Kevin, turn down the damn TV!

My assignment
was to turn down the damn TV.

Wayne's assignment was to be...

Well... Invisible.

After that, it was all
kind of up to mom.

I'll put these in the file
with the other forms.

See, even though dad
filled out the forms

and signed the checks,

it was mom
who kept the receipts,

organized the paperwork...

- [ Groans ]
- ...Stockpiled the bicarb,

and generally...
Anyone for dinner?

Kept dad from eating us alive.

I bust my hump all year
for this?

Still, for all his grumbling,

on some level, dad knew taxes
were inevitable,

something you could depend on,
like, say...

I want you to write
your obituaries.

Death.

I think you'll find this
very interesting.

Miss Stebbins was teaching us
creative writing.

And we were learning
that creative writing

wasn't a book report or
how I spent my summer vacation.

Creative writing was...

The end of your life.

What will they say about you
in the newspaper?

Yes. Harold.

Which newspaper?

Any newspaper you like.

What did you do?

What did you accomplish?

What's the point of this?

[ Slams chalk ]
Good question, Kevin.

[ Chuckles ]

We became engaged in
Captain Ahab's obsessive quest.

We cried when Jane and Rochester
finally got married.

Why?

Yes, Harold?

'Cause they were dead?

[ Light laughter ]

Because you cared about
the characters.

Now, how do we write
a character?

We start with the one
we've got to know about first...

ourselves.

Who are you, who were you,

and where are you headed?

Faced with such profound
and disturbing questions,

one thought sprang immediately
to our minds.

Yes, Susan.

How long does this have to be?

Oh... About a page.

[ All sigh ]

One page?

One page?!

Paul, it's not that bad.

How do you cram
a full and productive lifetime

into one page?

Kevin, don't you realize
how deep this is?

Paul, aren't you taking this
a little too seriously?

Heck,
this wasn't brain surgery.

We were just writing
our obituaries here.

So many decisions to make.

For instance, do I go into
practice with my dad,

or do I marry Marsha Brady?

Or both!

Kev?

I don't want to die.

My best friend had, what you
might call, a malleable mind.

Me? I wasn't worried.

What was the big deal?

It was just a page...
one lousy, little page.

33 lines.

290 words if you wrote big.

What's that?

Oh! Nothing.

Which was true.

I'd been staring at that page
for an hour-and-a-half

without coming up
with a single word.

Some kind of writer's block,
I guess.

An obituary? Oh, let me see.

- Maybe I can help.
- Wayne...

Let's see...

"Kevin Arnold.

"Born a butthead.

"Lived a butthead's life.

"Died...

A butthead!"

Did you get any of that down?

Wayne, stop teasing Kevin.

Your father's trying
to watch the news.

Mom was serious.

Every year, the night before
he paid his taxes,

my father had a ritual
of watching the news.

We figured
it made him feel better to know

that others were suffering,

and at least it helped
keep his mind off of...

Astronaut John Swigert today

joked he'd forgotten to file
his federal income tax returns.

Manned-spacecraft center
officials

assured him
they'd get an extension.

[ Groaning ]

Mm.

Oh, abandon couch.

Bicarb, Jack?

[ Door closes ] Too late.
The beast was stirring.

Did you get those receipts
together yet, Norma?

Don't worry, honey.
Everything is under control.

That was mom.
Always the picture of calm.

Saturday we'll fill out
the forms.

We'll get it over with.

Norma?

Right.

I'll get your bicarb.

What's wrong with her?

Hard to tell.

I guess mom had problems
of her own.

Meanwhile, I had a deadline.

- [ Sighs ]
- And I do mean deadline.

Dad, have you ever thought
about your life?

Huh?

Uh, well, it's for school.

I mean, if you
had to write about it,

what would you say?

Okay. Time for a meaningful
father/son exchange here,

a thoughtful summing up.

I get up at 5:00
in the morning.

I fight traffic.

I bust my hump all day.

I fight traffic again.

And I come home.

Then I pay my taxes.

The end.

[ Groans ]

In a way, it kind of made you
feel like you knew the guy.

My only consolation
was that I was pretty sure

nobody else was gonna do
this assignment, either.

The world mourns the loss
of a great poet, Susan Kelley,

whose work made her lots
and lots of money.

The minute he got out
of high school,

he joined the service
to fight for his country.

After he won the Grand Prix,

there was a series
of empty relationships.

When he spoke...
People listened!

She brutally murdered
her little sister

and was cleared of all charges.

Chapter 7, age 36.

The harvest ripens.

Poised on the very cusp
of young adulthood,

I venture forth from the safe
and secure hallways of academia

and into the cut-throat world
of ophthalmology.

Before the age of 40, I invent
the strapless sport spectacle.

Ah, thank you very much, Paul.

But we have to have time
for everyone.

Yes!

Now, who's next?

Kevin?

How about you?

He was born of humble parentage

and grew up living
a simple life.

He served several years
in the Virginia legislature

and then went on to become
President of the United States.

There. Short but sweet.

Honest, to the point.

That's very nice, Kevin.

That was also
George Washington's life.

[ Light laughter ]

Rats!

Now, I suggest you get a life
of your own and write about it.

Well, miss Stebbins...

It's just that...

I'm not sure I'm ready
to write about my life yet.

I understand.

In that case,
you may have over the weekend.

Turn it in on Monday.

Right?

Right.

All right, Harold, your turn.

Kevin Arnold...
he lived a good life...

Until he got
this writing assignment.

[ Sighs ]

It didn't seem fair.

When you're 13 years old,

the last thing you want to have
to worry about is your life.

That's what you have
parents for.

Sure.

Let her worry.

Only let's not overdo it here.

Mom?

Apollo 11 prepared for loi...

Everything all right?

I'm sorry, Kevin.
What were you saying?

Something was wrong.

Mom could usually
talk on the phone,

cook dinner, yell at Wayne,

and help you with your homework
all without missing a beat.

Mom?

How could I be so stupid?

The whole point of taking them
to make copies

was so that we wouldn't lose
the receipts.

You lost the tax receipts?

They're just... Gone.

This was unbelievable!

My mother?

The most organized woman
in the world?

Oh, don't worry, honey.

They're bound to turn up.

[ Sighs ]

You really think so?

I wanted to believe her. I did.

But something about the way
she was staring at that TV

gave me the distinct impression
that...

Well, to put it mildly...

We interrupt this broadcast
for a CBS news special report.

Uh, Houston, this is Apollo 13.

We've had a problem here.

Okay, Houston...

This is a CBS news
special report.

Trouble has developed
aboard Apollo 13.

Trouble serious enough

to jeopardize the continuation
of the mission.

So much
for emergencies in space.

It was just a grocery bag
full of receipts.

We had a few of our own
right here at home.

No?

[ Sighs ] Oh, dear.

Well, thank you, anyway.

Tax day at ground zero.

Situation... grim.

Mom had turned the house
upside down

looking for
those tax receipts...

[ Door opens, closes ]
...With no luck.

Norma?

[ Clippers clacking ]

Time to get started.

Gee, what was he gonna do,
hack those w-2s to death?

Got to sharpen these clippers
out in the garage.

Oh. That's a good idea.

Sure. Good idea.
Distract him with tools.

Then after dinner, we'll go
to work on those taxes, hmm?

The astronauts do not appear

to be in any immediate danger.

- Honey?
- Hmm?

I was just thinking...

Why waste a perfectly good
Saturday night on paperwork?

Why don't we...
Go out to a movie?

It's been ages
since we all went out together.

Come on, dad.
I think it'll be fun.

At a point where,
even in an emergency,

it is more efficient to swing
around the moon and return...

Maybe tomorrow.

We're doing taxes tonight.

[ Door opens, closes ]

It made you wonder...
do moms ever actually sweat?

Are you okay, mom?

Oh.

I think I'll take a shower.

Well, that answered that.

Those poor astronauts.

Their families
must be worried sick.

Well, somebody's family,
anyway.

Still, maybe I was blowing
this all out of proportion.

I mean, what's the worst
that could happen?

He's gonna kill her.

[ Grinder buzzing ]

Kill her?

That sounded a little extreme.

After all, dad was
a reasonable kind of... Guy.

Damn piece of tin.

Dad?

I was just wondering...

What happens
if you don't pay your taxes?

What are you talking about?

Well... Say you forgot.

Or you couldn't,
for some reason.

What would happen then?

There. A reasonable question.

You'd go to jail.

And a reasonable answer.

Oh.

Unless, of course,
you got a legitimate excuse.

Okay. That might apply here.

What if, say, uh, like...

You...

Lose your...
your receipts and stuff?

What?!

Well, I mean, if somehow
by a freak accident.

Oh, my gosh. He knew.

Now I get it.

You know, Kev,
you worry too much.

I do?

Your mom would never lose
those receipts.

She guards them with her life.

Uh-huh.

That's exactly
what I was afraid of.

[ Chuckles ]

It was becoming pretty clear

mine wasn't the only obituary
that needed writing.

[ Door opens ] ...A loud bang,
followed by a power loss

[ door closes ] In two of
their three fuel cells.

They also reported
seeing fuel...

Norma?

Time to get to work.

We put it off long enough.

What, honey?

You got all the forms together?

You got the state and federal,
my w-2s,

the receipts?

Of course.

I'll get cleaned up,
and we'll start.

Uh, Jack?

Well, the moment
of truth had come.

Mom was gonna have
to come clean.

She was gonna have to...

I have an errand to run
in town.

I'll be back in a bit.

Run for her life.

It was kind of like
watching ouster

turn tail at little big horn.

[ Door closes ]

I gotta go.

Can I have a ride?

And I alone was left
to tell the tale.

Well, maybe
I'll get started without her.

Where'd she leave
those damn receipts?

Well, that was that.

In a matter of hours,
my family was going to explode.

And there was nothing
I could do about it.

Except, of course...

Head for the hills myself.

I wasn't sure
where I was going.

All I knew was...
I couldn't go home.

[ Bell tolling ]

I guess mom was feeling
that way, too.

It was strange.

I'd never seen her
in church before,

except for weddings...

And funerals.

But there she was,

lighting a candle
for those stupid tax receipts.

I wanted to help her,

to make everything right,

but I knew I couldn't.

All I could do was hope that,
somehow,

she'd find an answer here.

Mom?

Mom?

Yes, honey?

Do you think your prayers
will be answered?

One way or another.

We drove for quite awhile.

I guess neither of us
were in a hurry to get home.

[ Engine shuts off ]

The emergency has ruled out

any chance
of a lunar landing...

Faced with the inevitable,
mom seemed so calm and brave.

Norma?

Norma, where the hell
are those receipts?

Mission control has given no
official word on what will be done,

but has declared that the Lem's
descent rocket engine

will be used
in aborting the mission

and getting the astronauts
safely back to earth.

And now,
the world holds its breath

as the brave astronauts
of Apollo 13

prepare to swing around
the dark side of the moon

in their disabled spacecraft.

[ Crickets chirping ]

I stood in the yard
for a long time,

looking at the moon
and thinking

about mom and dad
and the receipts,

about those astronauts,

about how things
in a life can get lost

without any certainty
of finding them again.

I said a little prayer
for all of us.

I was prepared for the worst...

tears, rage,

a family in shambles.

[ Norma laughs ] Or...

[ Jack and Norma laugh ]

That's when you went to Omaha.

Do you remember the plane fare?

150 bucks.

I couldn't believe it.

I'd never seen them
quite so close...

What's so funny?-...Like they
didn't have a care in the world.

But watching them together,
loving each other,

re-creating the past year
from memory,

I felt a bond,

a promise that things
would work out.

So, where'd you go today?

Well, first I went by
the post office

to see if anyone
had turned in the receipts.

Ah.

Then I stopped by a church.

Said a prayer
for the astronauts.

Uhhuh.

And suddenly,
a lot of things made sense.

So, how many days were you in
that hotel in Omaha?

- Three days.
- Three days. What, at about $30?

30 bucks a day.

As I looked at that blank page,

I knew that whatever I wrote
would be a lie

or, at best, a wild guess.

It didn't matter.

Whatever life
lay ahead of me...

a life of hope, of possibility,
of uncertainty...

I felt sure I knew
what it would take to survive.

I guess what I'm saying is...

For the first time,
I understood

that some things are bigger
than death and taxes...

Like family...

Like faith.

I could only hope Miss Stebbins
would understand, too.

[ Crickets chirping ]

Mom?

Hmm?

Do you think the astronauts
will get home?

I don't know, Kevin.

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