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1
00:00:00,648 --> 00:00:04,097
[crow caws]
2
00:00:04,099 --> 00:00:05,106
FRANKIE: Out here in the middle,
3
00:00:05,108 --> 00:00:07,461
we spend a lot of
time at the movies.
4
00:00:07,463 --> 00:00:09,318
We go to escape the heat,
5
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,605
the cold, and just the
monotony of our lives.
6
00:00:12,607 --> 00:00:15,757
Yep, everybody loves
going to the movies.
7
00:00:15,759 --> 00:00:17,407
I've never been to the movies.
8
00:00:17,409 --> 00:00:18,229
What are you talking about?
9
00:00:18,231 --> 00:00:19,661
Of course you've been to the movies.
10
00:00:19,663 --> 00:00:20,717
No, I haven't.
11
00:00:20,719 --> 00:00:22,726
I've seen them on TV and from the car once,
12
00:00:22,728 --> 00:00:24,711
but I've never been in an actual theater.
13
00:00:24,713 --> 00:00:26,968
[sighs] Oh, yeah, I remember.
14
00:00:26,970 --> 00:00:28,193
We wanted to take you when you were little,
15
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,023
but you had all that sensory weirdness.
16
00:00:30,025 --> 00:00:32,716
Yes, and I'm sure that's how the
doctors suggested you refer to it.
17
00:00:32,718 --> 00:00:34,682
Very healthy, very supportive.
18
00:00:34,684 --> 00:00:37,006
I'm a teenager and I've
never been to the movies.
19
00:00:37,008 --> 00:00:37,904
It's pretty sad.
20
00:00:37,906 --> 00:00:39,931
When I was a teenager, my mom died.
21
00:00:39,933 --> 00:00:42,105
Yeah, but she took you to the
movies before she did, right?
22
00:00:42,107 --> 00:00:43,728
We're taking you now.
23
00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:45,963
Here, put these Milk Dudes up your sleeve.
24
00:00:45,965 --> 00:00:46,988
What are Milk Dudes?
25
00:00:46,990 --> 00:00:48,988
The Frugal Hoosier version of Milk Duds.
26
00:00:48,990 --> 00:00:50,053
What are Milk Duds?
27
00:00:50,055 --> 00:00:51,057
You know what Milk Duds are.
28
00:00:51,059 --> 00:00:53,846
It's a classic movie sna... Oh.
29
00:00:53,848 --> 00:00:56,093
I got potatoes for everybody.
30
00:00:56,095 --> 00:00:58,065
Are potatoes a classic movie snack, too?
31
00:00:58,067 --> 00:01:00,006
He says we've never
taken him to the movies.
32
00:01:00,008 --> 00:01:02,621
Oh, well, "Flatlands" is
a great first movie to see.
33
00:01:02,623 --> 00:01:05,265
It was partially filmed
right here in Orson.
34
00:01:05,267 --> 00:01:09,435
A Hollywood movie
partially filmed in Orson.
35
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:12,580
They used Tally's Diner as what
they call an establishing shot.
36
00:01:12,582 --> 00:01:14,035
I read that in the "Orson Patch."
37
00:01:14,037 --> 00:01:16,055
It's not actually the inside of the diner.
38
00:01:16,057 --> 00:01:19,023
The third unit just came
and shot the exterior.
39
00:01:19,025 --> 00:01:21,337
What? I drove by.
40
00:01:21,339 --> 00:01:23,332
So, what goes on at the theater?
41
00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:24,288
Are there chairs?
42
00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:27,633
Is there a conveyor
belt that brings you in?
43
00:01:27,635 --> 00:01:29,430
As I mentioned, I've
never been to the movies.
44
00:01:29,432 --> 00:01:30,589
Have you been to Earth?
45
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,465
Not if I have to rely
on you to take me there.
46
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,644
Snap! Slap it high!
47
00:01:34,646 --> 00:01:35,910
Shove those down your pants.
48
00:01:35,912 --> 00:01:37,388
Roger that.
49
00:01:39,043 --> 00:01:40,208
This is so cool.
50
00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:41,596
I know. I didn't sleep last night.
51
00:01:41,598 --> 00:01:43,622
I am running on pure adrenaline.
52
00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:47,228
Oh, you know, they sent in what they
call a third unit to shoot the exterior.
53
00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:48,623
Mike drove by.
54
00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:50,704
Hey, Mom! They have popcorn here!
55
00:01:50,706 --> 00:01:52,113
We didn't have to bring our own!
56
00:01:52,115 --> 00:01:52,921
[chuckles]
57
00:01:52,923 --> 00:01:54,526
You'd think he'd never been to the movies.
58
00:01:54,528 --> 00:01:56,578
- He has.
- [laughter]
59
00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:59,504
I was so bummed that the actors
didn't come to Orson to film.
60
00:01:59,506 --> 00:02:01,127
I've never seen a celebrity.
61
00:02:01,129 --> 00:02:04,127
Bill's met one at a pool.
62
00:02:04,129 --> 00:02:05,188
Tell them, Bill.
63
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:06,258
Oh, Okay.
64
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:08,198
Yeah, I mean, it was somebody big,
65
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,954
but let me just get you there.
66
00:02:09,956 --> 00:02:11,777
I'm in college, a busboy,
67
00:02:11,779 --> 00:02:14,007
and they say there's gonna
be a group of 12 coming.
68
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,218
So, you got your sections.
69
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,298
Oh, when I was a waitress,
70
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:18,017
I could never get the section I wanted.
71
00:02:18,019 --> 00:02:20,143
I don't know why. Oh,
no, no. I do know why.
72
00:02:20,145 --> 00:02:22,820
There was this one waiter,
and he knew the owner.
73
00:02:22,822 --> 00:02:24,711
No, no. It was his nephew, Brian.
74
00:02:24,713 --> 00:02:26,043
Ugh, hated that guy.
75
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:27,298
[chuckles]
76
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,739
So... So, I didn't know who it was, right,
77
00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:33,025
but I knew it was a biggie
because they had to have
78
00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:36,564
exactly five sliced lemons in their water.
79
00:02:36,566 --> 00:02:38,098
I mean, you don't get that
unless you're somebody.
80
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,624
What is with the lemons in the water?
81
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:41,380
I do not get why that is fancy.
82
00:02:41,382 --> 00:02:42,164
You get the seeds in your throat.
83
00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:43,815
- It's not quenching.
- [chuckles]
84
00:02:43,817 --> 00:02:46,154
So, anyway, you're
bringing the guy lemons...
85
00:02:46,156 --> 00:02:48,702
Yeah, only I didn't say it was a guy.
86
00:02:48,704 --> 00:02:50,584
- [all "ooh"]
- Oh!
87
00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:54,513
So, I'm there with the
lemons, door opens...
88
00:02:54,515 --> 00:02:55,448
Was it Heather Locklear?
89
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,208
I only say that 'cause I read
once that she visited Missouri.
90
00:02:58,210 --> 00:02:59,604
- [sighs]
- I like her. She seems real.
91
00:02:59,606 --> 00:03:02,210
Frankie, let the man finish his story.
92
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:05,976
[both chuckle awkwardly]
93
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,139
Yeah, it was Heather Locklear.
94
00:03:08,141 --> 00:03:09,647
She loves lemons.
95
00:03:11,929 --> 00:03:13,800
Hey, Judi! Exciting, huh?
96
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,102
- Who's that?
- None of your business.
97
00:03:15,104 --> 00:03:17,228
- Want some pop, honey?
- I'll take a pop.
98
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,219
It's right down there
by your gigantic feet.
99
00:03:19,221 --> 00:03:22,529
Hey, Fredelle! Oh!
100
00:03:22,531 --> 00:03:23,383
What's this?
101
00:03:23,385 --> 00:03:24,480
You told us to save you seats.
102
00:03:24,482 --> 00:03:26,845
Yeah, not with you. Ugh, fine.
103
00:03:26,847 --> 00:03:30,962
Where are my Milk Dudes?
104
00:03:30,964 --> 00:03:32,870
Oh, here, Sean. I got you a potato, too.
105
00:03:32,872 --> 00:03:35,291
Thanks. There's no meat on here, right?
106
00:03:35,293 --> 00:03:36,639
It's just a phase.
107
00:03:36,641 --> 00:03:38,443
Uh, where are the forks?
108
00:03:38,445 --> 00:03:40,095
Oh, well, I forgot them,
109
00:03:40,097 --> 00:03:41,604
and they didn't have any
at the concession stand,
110
00:03:41,606 --> 00:03:42,908
so I just took these.
111
00:03:42,910 --> 00:03:43,906
Hold them down low.
112
00:03:43,908 --> 00:03:45,334
I didn't buy anything when I took them,
113
00:03:45,336 --> 00:03:46,903
so they're essentially stolen.
114
00:03:46,905 --> 00:03:48,800
You can take straws. They figure that in.
115
00:03:48,802 --> 00:03:50,216
- In what?
- In their thing.
116
00:03:50,218 --> 00:03:52,980
- What thing?
- I cannot eat a potato with a straw!
117
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,094
It's got a tiny spoon at the end of it.
118
00:03:55,096 --> 00:03:58,248
It's a spoon-straw. It's a spraw.
119
00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:01,416
[sucking loudly]
120
00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:04,353
Well, so far, movie food
is not impressing me.
121
00:04:04,355 --> 00:04:05,270
Oh, my God.
122
00:04:05,272 --> 00:04:07,987
Can this family never just buy
something from a concession stand?!
123
00:04:07,989 --> 00:04:09,218
It's all good, man.
124
00:04:09,220 --> 00:04:11,997
We're all just trying our best
to make our way through this life.
125
00:04:11,999 --> 00:04:15,030
Nobody wants to hear your
liberal jibber-jabber.
126
00:04:15,032 --> 00:04:16,029
FRANKIE: Okay, you know what?
127
00:04:16,031 --> 00:04:17,451
These are just dry, that's all.
128
00:04:17,453 --> 00:04:19,455
Sue, go back to the concession
stand and get some butter.
129
00:04:19,457 --> 00:04:22,188
No, I already stole once today.
130
00:04:22,190 --> 00:04:23,144
They figure that in.
131
00:04:23,146 --> 00:04:24,799
I don't know what that means!
132
00:04:25,934 --> 00:04:26,744
Sue, just go.
133
00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:28,168
I don't want to miss Tally's Diner.
134
00:04:28,170 --> 00:04:30,369
You'll be fine. We still have
to sit through all the previews.
135
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,244
[action music playing]
136
00:04:31,246 --> 00:04:33,873
MAN: Coming, Summer 2016.
137
00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:37,258
Based on the best-selling
series that swept the nation...
138
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:38,867
- [music stops]
- MAN #2: Silligans.
139
00:04:38,869 --> 00:04:41,335
David S. Rosenthal's...
140
00:04:41,337 --> 00:04:42,742
"Planet Nowhere."
141
00:04:42,744 --> 00:04:46,240
They're doing a movie
about "Planet Nowhere!"
142
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:49,691
Hugh Jackman as Professor Faxon.
143
00:04:49,693 --> 00:04:52,993
Ray Liotta is Gackos the Batossian.
144
00:04:52,995 --> 00:04:56,514
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is Soran.
145
00:04:56,516 --> 00:04:59,604
And introducing Montana Steinberg
146
00:04:59,606 --> 00:05:01,645
as Princess Kalakare.
147
00:05:01,647 --> 00:05:03,607
- [lasers blasting]
- KALAKARE: The Vernegos will prevail.
148
00:05:03,609 --> 00:05:06,226
Princess Kalakare's 132 years old!
149
00:05:06,228 --> 00:05:07,956
That kid's not a day over 11!
150
00:05:07,958 --> 00:05:10,551
They can't do this! You can't do this!
151
00:05:10,553 --> 00:05:12,548
Brick, it's not like the
couch. You got to sit down.
152
00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:15,820
- [action music continues]
- Stop the movie! Stop the movie!
153
00:05:15,822 --> 00:05:17,489
[indistinct conversations]
154
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:20,297
[register beeping]
155
00:05:20,299 --> 00:05:22,891
Oh, this is for the popcorn
my mom bought before the movie.
156
00:05:22,893 --> 00:05:24,423
Uh, uh, she's very generic-looking,
157
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,888
so you definitely saw someone
158
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,598
who looks like her buying popcorn.
159
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,345
And she did. With a credit card.
160
00:05:29,347 --> 00:05:30,288
Not a credit card.
161
00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:31,628
Y-You'd have a record of that.
162
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:33,804
She used cash. She carries a lot of it.
163
00:05:33,806 --> 00:05:35,445
Please don't rob us. [laughs nervously]
164
00:05:35,447 --> 00:05:37,701
I don't think you're a robber.
165
00:05:37,703 --> 00:05:39,170
Ah!
166
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,413
- Ugh.
- Sue?
167
00:05:41,415 --> 00:05:42,969
168
00:05:42,971 --> 00:05:44,413
Logan!
169
00:05:44,415 --> 00:05:45,917
Hi!
170
00:05:45,919 --> 00:05:48,018
Hey. How's... Oh!
171
00:05:49,191 --> 00:05:51,528
I mean, what we just saw
isn't "Planet Nowhere."
172
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:52,610
MAN: Based on an
incredible true story.
173
00:05:52,612 --> 00:05:54,040
The sets are cheap. The
Kalakarians look like Silligans.
174
00:05:54,042 --> 00:05:56,671
And Hugh Jackman? He can't
pull off this material.
175
00:05:56,673 --> 00:05:58,696
He's a
song-and-dance man.
176
00:05:58,698 --> 00:06:00,543
I'm sick. I'm just sick over this.
177
00:06:00,545 --> 00:06:02,425
That could be the potatoes.
178
00:06:02,427 --> 00:06:04,313
Who are these Warner brothers?
179
00:06:04,315 --> 00:06:05,318
Is there one who's like the leader,
180
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,458
so if I get to him, the
others will fall in line?
181
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,234
'Cause I need them to
not release this movie.
182
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,584
Brick, once the previews come
out, it's done. It's too late.
183
00:06:11,586 --> 00:06:13,374
Did Professor Faxon give
up when he was negotiating
184
00:06:13,376 --> 00:06:15,664
with the Zorgonauts for the Malakian Canal?
185
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:16,453
He didn't.
186
00:06:16,455 --> 00:06:18,155
But I can understand your confusion,
187
00:06:18,157 --> 00:06:20,517
'cause Hugh Jackman
would fold like a Klugarg.
188
00:06:20,519 --> 00:06:22,955
That's Malakian for card table.
189
00:06:22,957 --> 00:06:24,869
I have to stop this.
190
00:06:24,871 --> 00:06:26,490
Coming soon in digital 3D.
191
00:06:26,492 --> 00:06:29,407
Maybe keeping him away from the
movies wasn't the worst idea.
192
00:06:29,409 --> 00:06:31,235
[scoffs]
193
00:06:31,237 --> 00:06:33,790
Hey, you've been acting
weird. What's with you?
194
00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:35,075
Why don't you guess?
195
00:06:35,077 --> 00:06:36,660
Oh, no. I don't like this game.
196
00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:37,734
All right, then, I'll tell you.
197
00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:40,499
You embarrassed me in front of our friends.
198
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:41,966
"Let the man finish his story."
199
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,712
- Opening Labor Day weekend...
- Oh, Frankie, come on.
200
00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:46,265
- I was trying to help you.
- What?
201
00:06:46,267 --> 00:06:47,589
You kept interrupting Bill,
202
00:06:47,591 --> 00:06:50,736
and it was getting uncomfortable.
203
00:06:50,738 --> 00:06:51,787
So, I'm working at this resort,
204
00:06:51,789 --> 00:06:53,487
and they say there's this
big group coming in, right?
205
00:06:53,489 --> 00:06:55,074
- You've got your sections...
- Ohh!
206
00:06:55,076 --> 00:06:57,465
When I was a waitress, I
never got the section I wanted!
207
00:06:57,467 --> 00:07:00,566
I have no idea why!
208
00:07:00,568 --> 00:07:01,394
Well, anyway...
209
00:07:01,396 --> 00:07:02,766
Oh, no. I know why!
210
00:07:02,768 --> 00:07:04,667
There was this one
waiter, the owner's nephew.
211
00:07:04,669 --> 00:07:07,748
Brian! Ugh, I hated that guy!
212
00:07:09,479 --> 00:07:11,227
- So, I didn't know who it...
- Who it is.
213
00:07:11,229 --> 00:07:15,068
- But I knew it was somebody...
- Big. Yeah, for sure.
214
00:07:15,070 --> 00:07:16,893
Because they wanted five sliced lemons
in their water because you never...
215
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:17,754
- Okay, what is it...
- [groans]
216
00:07:17,756 --> 00:07:19,399
...with people and lemons in the water?
217
00:07:19,401 --> 00:07:20,353
Why do people like that?
218
00:07:20,355 --> 00:07:21,844
You get the seeds in your throat.
219
00:07:21,846 --> 00:07:23,558
Am I right? Who's with me?
220
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,332
Yeah, so, anyway, you
were getting lemons...
221
00:07:27,334 --> 00:07:31,171
So, I'm, uh, getting the
lemons, and in comes...
222
00:07:31,173 --> 00:07:31,940
Was it Heather Locklear?
223
00:07:31,942 --> 00:07:33,321
I bet it was Heather Locklear
224
00:07:33,323 --> 00:07:34,984
'cause I read that she
visited Missouri one time.
225
00:07:34,986 --> 00:07:37,578
I like her. She's so real.
226
00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:39,359
I think we would be friends. I really do.
227
00:07:39,361 --> 00:07:43,319
Honey, let the man finish his story, okay?
228
00:07:43,321 --> 00:07:45,466
Okay, first of all,
229
00:07:45,468 --> 00:07:47,806
you've never called me
"honey" in your life.
230
00:07:47,808 --> 00:07:49,483
And I wasn't interrupting him.
231
00:07:49,485 --> 00:07:51,543
What I was doing is something
called making conversation.
232
00:07:51,545 --> 00:07:54,006
You wouldn't recognize it because
you never say anything to anyone.
233
00:07:54,008 --> 00:07:56,635
You just stand there like
a plaid Abe Lincoln statue.
234
00:07:56,637 --> 00:07:58,446
I'm telling you, it was uncomfortable.
235
00:07:58,448 --> 00:08:01,147
The only time it got uncomfortable
was when you snapped my head off.
236
00:08:01,149 --> 00:08:02,486
What are you talking about?
237
00:08:02,488 --> 00:08:04,007
They were horrified.
238
00:08:04,009 --> 00:08:08,285
You couldn't see their faces 'cause you're
so freakishly tall, but I saw their faces.
239
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:09,339
So, I'm working at this resort,
240
00:08:09,341 --> 00:08:11,062
and they say there's this
big group coming in, right?
241
00:08:11,064 --> 00:08:12,276
You got your sections.
242
00:08:12,278 --> 00:08:14,783
When I was a waitress, I
never got the section I wanted.
243
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:15,576
Exactly!
244
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,611
We had this one waiter, the owner's nephew.
245
00:08:17,613 --> 00:08:19,329
Brian! I hated that guy.
246
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,529
Oh, man, we had a Brian!
247
00:08:21,531 --> 00:08:24,497
- No!
- [laughter]
248
00:08:24,499 --> 00:08:26,708
So, I don't know who's coming in, okay,
249
00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:28,450
but I knew it was somebody special
250
00:08:28,452 --> 00:08:32,916
because they had to have exactly
five sliced lemons in their water.
251
00:08:32,918 --> 00:08:34,307
What is it with the lemons in the water?
252
00:08:34,309 --> 00:08:36,277
I do not get why that's fancy.
253
00:08:36,279 --> 00:08:38,177
You get seeds in your
throat. It's not quenching.
254
00:08:38,179 --> 00:08:40,164
[laughter]
255
00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:42,944
So, you're bringing the guy lemons.
256
00:08:42,946 --> 00:08:43,844
[clears throat] Yeah.
257
00:08:43,846 --> 00:08:46,721
Yeah, only... only I
didn't say it was a guy.
258
00:08:46,723 --> 00:08:48,959
- [all "ooh"]
- Ohh.
259
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:52,309
So I got the lemons, the door opens,
260
00:08:52,311 --> 00:08:54,487
and guess who it was.
261
00:08:54,489 --> 00:08:56,415
Mm... Was it Heather Locklear?
262
00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:57,842
'Cause I think I read
an article where she...
263
00:08:57,844 --> 00:09:02,523
Pbht! Let the man finish his story!
264
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:08,829
[sighs]
265
00:09:08,831 --> 00:09:10,461
I didn't go like this.
266
00:09:10,463 --> 00:09:11,595
I went like this.
267
00:09:11,597 --> 00:09:13,641
Oh, [scoffs] it doesn't matter.
268
00:09:13,643 --> 00:09:15,482
Either way, it was disrespectful to me.
269
00:09:15,484 --> 00:09:16,453
When we go out in the world,
270
00:09:16,455 --> 00:09:19,571
we present a picture of
a loving, happy marriage.
271
00:09:19,573 --> 00:09:20,746
- We do?
- Yeah, and you took that picture
272
00:09:20,748 --> 00:09:23,814
and you just smashed it between
your long, Crypt Keeper fingers.
273
00:09:23,816 --> 00:09:24,763
Give me a break.
274
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,996
Every couple gets annoyed with each other.
275
00:09:26,998 --> 00:09:28,026
In private.
276
00:09:28,028 --> 00:09:29,940
You did it in public. You let everyone in.
277
00:09:29,942 --> 00:09:31,350
There's now six people in our marriage.
278
00:09:31,352 --> 00:09:33,160
Good, can I pick another
one to hang out with?
279
00:09:33,162 --> 00:09:34,292
[sighs]
280
00:09:35,526 --> 00:09:37,896
- [cheers and applause]
- Yeah!
281
00:09:37,898 --> 00:09:40,396
Oh, I feel like I have to
pee, but it's just excitement!
282
00:09:40,398 --> 00:09:41,566
[chuckles]
283
00:09:41,568 --> 00:09:43,450
I don't want to argue here, all right?
284
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:46,241
I want to enjoy the third-unit
establishing shot of Tally's Diner.
285
00:09:46,243 --> 00:09:49,114
- We'll talk about this at home.
- We're not done?
286
00:09:49,116 --> 00:09:51,570
WOMAN: And you say
that's in my tap water?
287
00:09:51,572 --> 00:09:52,276
- Check it out.
- Hmm?
288
00:09:52,278 --> 00:09:53,974
That kid's going in for a kiss.
289
00:09:53,976 --> 00:09:56,229
Ooh, gutsy move right at the beginning.
290
00:09:56,231 --> 00:09:58,103
If she shoots him down,
that's a long movie.
291
00:09:58,105 --> 00:10:00,947
Yeah, but if she doesn't,
that's two hours of kissing.
292
00:10:00,949 --> 00:10:03,103
High risk, high reward.
293
00:10:03,105 --> 00:10:03,936
- [gasps]
- Yeah!
294
00:10:03,938 --> 00:10:06,304
And he scores. Nice.
295
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,242
Man, I remember my first kiss.
296
00:10:08,244 --> 00:10:10,238
Oh, yeah. Totally memorable.
297
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,416
I mean, all of mine are
memorable for the girl.
298
00:10:12,418 --> 00:10:15,737
But that first one...
Susie Baker's basement.
299
00:10:15,739 --> 00:10:17,196
- Me too.
- Yeah?
300
00:10:17,198 --> 00:10:18,517
[both chuckle]
301
00:10:18,519 --> 00:10:19,819
- Helped it was super dark.
- Yeah.
302
00:10:19,821 --> 00:10:21,366
Wouldn't have had the nerve otherwise.
303
00:10:21,368 --> 00:10:23,926
Yeah, I did it in that
closet behind Susie's furnace,
304
00:10:23,928 --> 00:10:25,568
- where it's super dark.
- Me too.
305
00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:26,637
[chuckles nervously]
306
00:10:26,639 --> 00:10:28,458
And so, we kissed for a f-few seconds,
307
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,890
and then Susie's dad came downstairs,
308
00:10:29,892 --> 00:10:30,848
and yelled, "Everybody out!
309
00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:32,130
I want to watch 'Deal Or No Deal!'"
310
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:32,835
Yes.
311
00:10:32,837 --> 00:10:34,110
So we ran like crazy, and
she... she hit her head.
312
00:10:34,112 --> 00:10:35,910
And I hit my head.
313
00:10:42,381 --> 00:10:44,026
So then I found Brick, but when I got back
314
00:10:44,028 --> 00:10:45,831
to the library, you were gone.
315
00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:47,336
Oh, when I couldn't find you,
316
00:10:47,338 --> 00:10:50,030
I thought maybe you were blowing me off.
317
00:10:50,032 --> 00:10:51,846
No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
318
00:10:51,848 --> 00:10:52,909
I don't blow off.
319
00:10:52,911 --> 00:10:56,119
That's not my sty... uhl.
320
00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:57,841
Style.
321
00:10:57,843 --> 00:11:00,489
I tried to shorten "style"
and it came out "sty."
322
00:11:00,491 --> 00:11:01,996
- Uh-huh.
- You were there for that.
323
00:11:01,998 --> 00:11:04,078
Uh-huh. [laughs]
324
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,256
So, uh... So I guess that means
325
00:11:06,258 --> 00:11:10,864
we actually want to spend time together.
326
00:11:10,866 --> 00:11:12,744
I guess it does.
327
00:11:15,481 --> 00:11:17,938
I'm sorry. Uh, you're missing the movie.
328
00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:19,565
What's a movie?
329
00:11:19,928 --> 00:11:21,115
Oh! Oh, right.
330
00:11:21,117 --> 00:11:22,573
Oh, no. I don't care about that.
331
00:11:22,575 --> 00:11:24,375
I'm only here because my parents made me.
332
00:11:24,377 --> 00:11:25,765
Let me just get them this butter.
333
00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:28,335
Just stay... right here.
334
00:11:28,337 --> 00:11:31,160
Yes, yes.
335
00:11:31,162 --> 00:11:33,173
Actually, you know, maybe we should just
336
00:11:33,175 --> 00:11:35,524
exchange info this time, just to be safe.
337
00:11:35,526 --> 00:11:37,083
Smart.
338
00:11:37,085 --> 00:11:39,994
[phone squeaks, clatters]
339
00:11:39,996 --> 00:11:41,966
Butter. [chuckles]
340
00:11:44,042 --> 00:11:45,417
- Hey.
- Hey.
341
00:11:45,419 --> 00:11:47,142
Pretty boring, huh?
342
00:11:47,144 --> 00:11:48,946
Who'd have thought a movie
about unsafe drinking water
343
00:11:48,948 --> 00:11:50,896
in the Midwest wouldn't be a thrill ride?
344
00:11:50,898 --> 00:11:51,526
[chuckling] Yeah.
345
00:11:51,528 --> 00:11:53,282
Hey, Ron, let me ask you something...
346
00:11:53,284 --> 00:11:55,462
Do you think I was too
hard on Frankie earlier?
347
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,412
- What do you mean?
- In the lobby.
348
00:11:57,414 --> 00:12:00,283
When she kept interrupting Bill,
and I told her to let him finish.
349
00:12:00,285 --> 00:12:03,022
Oh, I didn't notice anything.
350
00:12:03,024 --> 00:12:03,608
Thank you.
351
00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:04,676
'Cause she's saying it's a big deal,
352
00:12:04,678 --> 00:12:06,742
and now we're supposed
to talk about it at home.
353
00:12:06,744 --> 00:12:07,773
Uh-oh.
354
00:12:07,775 --> 00:12:10,552
If I were you, I'd just
apologize and end it here.
355
00:12:10,554 --> 00:12:13,125
Never take a fight to a second location.
356
00:12:13,127 --> 00:12:14,472
Huh.
357
00:12:14,474 --> 00:12:16,144
All right, I'm heading back in.
358
00:12:16,146 --> 00:12:19,330
I don't want to miss the big lab
scene where they test the dirt.
359
00:12:19,332 --> 00:12:20,412
Yeah.
360
00:12:23,690 --> 00:12:24,824
Ketchup or no ketchup?
361
00:12:24,826 --> 00:12:26,473
Ketchup, unless it's a hot dog.
362
00:12:26,475 --> 00:12:28,185
- Me too.
- Yeah!
363
00:12:28,187 --> 00:12:29,998
Um, which Jimmy... Fallon or Kimmel?
364
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,939
- Kimmel.
- Mm, 100%.
365
00:12:31,941 --> 00:12:33,709
- Ice skating or sledding?
- Sledding.
366
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:34,667
- Me too.
- Yeah.
367
00:12:34,669 --> 00:12:36,873
- Weak ankles.
- [chuckles]
368
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:38,833
Jacket or no jacket?
369
00:12:38,835 --> 00:12:41,971
- What?
- It's kind of cold out.
370
00:12:41,973 --> 00:12:43,987
Do you want my jacket?
371
00:12:43,989 --> 00:12:45,184
Oh.
372
00:12:45,186 --> 00:12:46,272
Ohhh.
373
00:12:46,274 --> 00:12:47,521
[chuckles]
374
00:12:47,523 --> 00:12:49,453
- Jacket.
- Yeah?
375
00:12:54,762 --> 00:12:55,535
There we go.
376
00:12:55,537 --> 00:12:57,547
[both chuckle]
377
00:13:00,590 --> 00:13:01,936
WOMAN: I'm meeting
my lawyer for lunch.
378
00:13:01,938 --> 00:13:04,912
Oh, she just said she's gonna
meet the lawyer for lunch.
379
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:07,907
- This could be the diner!
- Oh!
380
00:13:07,909 --> 00:13:10,037
They aren't telling
us what is really...
381
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,490
I've gotten a lot better at it.
382
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,755
What? [clears throat]
383
00:13:13,757 --> 00:13:15,885
- The kissing.
- Me too.
384
00:13:15,887 --> 00:13:16,713
Way better.
385
00:13:16,715 --> 00:13:19,220
Just so you know, I've kissed 38 women
386
00:13:19,222 --> 00:13:21,649
and I've never had any complaints.
387
00:13:21,651 --> 00:13:23,973
Me neither... no complaints.
388
00:13:23,975 --> 00:13:27,197
I'm still in single digits,
but then my grades are better.
389
00:13:27,199 --> 00:13:30,009
390
00:13:30,011 --> 00:13:31,804
We use a charcoal filter.
391
00:13:31,806 --> 00:13:33,959
We change it every month.
392
00:13:33,961 --> 00:13:35,266
I'm sorry.
393
00:13:35,268 --> 00:13:37,278
[indistinct conversation]
394
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:41,830
And you say that's in my tap water?
395
00:13:41,832 --> 00:13:43,518
[sighs]
396
00:13:46,234 --> 00:13:50,286
They told us it was safe.
Just as good as bottled water.
397
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:53,058
[indistinct conversation continues]
398
00:13:56,178 --> 00:13:58,188
[sighs]
399
00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:04,688
MAN: Hey, it's the diner!
400
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:10,721
- [applause]
- Oh, I've had pancakes there!
401
00:14:10,723 --> 00:14:12,236
[sighs]
402
00:14:12,238 --> 00:14:14,385
At home.
403
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,034
[sighs]
404
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,231
We can't stop everyone from
seeing "Planet Nowhere,"
405
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:25,654
but even if this one
theater didn't show it,
406
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,368
it would make a difference.
407
00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:28,554
I hear you.
408
00:14:28,556 --> 00:14:31,287
I got to sit through that
preview five times a day.
409
00:14:31,289 --> 00:14:34,871
Nine galaxies, and the only
black guy is Dwayne Johnson.
410
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:36,143
So we agree.
411
00:14:36,145 --> 00:14:37,761
All you have to do is lock the door.
412
00:14:37,763 --> 00:14:39,639
If you don't turn it
on, no one will see it.
413
00:14:39,641 --> 00:14:41,892
I got to show it. It's my job.
414
00:14:41,894 --> 00:14:43,491
Don't sweat it, man.
415
00:14:43,493 --> 00:14:46,315
Think about all the other movies
that are different from the book.
416
00:14:46,317 --> 00:14:49,457
I wouldn't know.
417
00:14:49,459 --> 00:14:51,469
[indistinct conversations]
418
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:53,882
Oh, this looks good.
419
00:14:53,884 --> 00:14:55,894
Totally gonna see it opening day.
420
00:14:57,318 --> 00:15:00,980
FRANKIE: Brick realized
he needed to take a stand.
421
00:15:00,982 --> 00:15:04,972
So he took the stand.
422
00:15:04,974 --> 00:15:06,491
Thanksgiving or Christmas?
423
00:15:06,493 --> 00:15:08,176
Christmas, definitely.
424
00:15:08,178 --> 00:15:10,481
Kiss or no kiss?
425
00:15:10,968 --> 00:15:11,759
Kiss.
426
00:15:11,761 --> 00:15:13,464
[chuckles]
427
00:15:13,466 --> 00:15:17,444
428
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:21,938
Wow or no wow?
429
00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:23,109
Wow.
430
00:15:23,111 --> 00:15:25,611
Me too. [chuckles]
431
00:15:25,613 --> 00:15:27,762
Sue, I really like you.
432
00:15:27,764 --> 00:15:31,195
I really like you, too.
433
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,531
I just...
434
00:15:34,214 --> 00:15:35,511
I need to tell you something.
435
00:15:35,513 --> 00:15:37,576
[inhales sharply]
436
00:15:37,578 --> 00:15:39,747
I'm thinking about changing my major.
437
00:15:40,926 --> 00:15:41,704
Oh.
438
00:15:41,706 --> 00:15:45,074
Well, I don't really think that's
gonna affect our relationship.
439
00:15:45,076 --> 00:15:47,256
Unless, I mean, if it's psychology,
440
00:15:47,258 --> 00:15:48,896
because I think I'm gonna do psychology.
441
00:15:48,898 --> 00:15:50,348
And if we have two
psychologists in the family,
442
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,685
then that could really mess up our kids.
443
00:15:51,687 --> 00:15:53,012
- Uh...
- Not that we're having kids yet.
444
00:15:53,014 --> 00:15:54,920
It's not like I've already
named one of them Emmaline.
445
00:15:54,922 --> 00:15:56,570
Look, Sue, I was thinking about
446
00:15:56,572 --> 00:16:00,766
changing my major to religious studies.
447
00:16:00,768 --> 00:16:01,914
Mm-hmm.
448
00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:04,197
I'm thinking of becoming a priest.
449
00:16:04,199 --> 00:16:05,910
Oh.
450
00:16:05,912 --> 00:16:07,471
God.
451
00:16:07,473 --> 00:16:10,483
452
00:16:14,893 --> 00:16:16,287
So, uh, listen, about that thing
453
00:16:16,289 --> 00:16:18,419
- we were talking about in there...
- What thing?
454
00:16:18,421 --> 00:16:21,031
Only thing I did was watch a delightful
movie about tainted drinking water.
455
00:16:21,033 --> 00:16:22,122
Last thing I remember saying is,
456
00:16:22,124 --> 00:16:24,551
"Isn't this a delightful movie
about tainted drinking water?"
457
00:16:24,553 --> 00:16:27,471
Yeah. That's all I remember, too.
458
00:16:27,473 --> 00:16:29,471
[indistinct conversations]
459
00:16:29,473 --> 00:16:32,483
460
00:16:35,003 --> 00:16:37,542
[muffled groan]
461
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,100
Are you kidding me?
462
00:16:40,102 --> 00:16:41,050
Really?!
463
00:16:41,052 --> 00:16:43,895
You give me an Abercrombie
model with washboard abs,
464
00:16:43,897 --> 00:16:45,758
and then you take him away from me?
465
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,159
I will never forgive you for this!
466
00:16:48,161 --> 00:16:51,521
Dear God, please forgive me for saying
I will never forgive you for this.
467
00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:52,604
I'm sorry.
468
00:16:52,606 --> 00:16:54,055
I'm... I'm not myself.
469
00:16:54,057 --> 00:16:55,693
You know, I'm confused.
470
00:16:55,695 --> 00:16:57,948
It's like I want to fight for Logan,
471
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,940
but that would mean competing with you.
472
00:16:59,942 --> 00:17:02,282
And I don't want to steal Logan from you.
473
00:17:02,284 --> 00:17:04,481
Not that I could steal Logan from you.
474
00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:06,086
And I would never steal.
475
00:17:06,088 --> 00:17:08,248
Except for the spraws and the butter.
476
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:10,050
Is this punishment for that?
477
00:17:10,052 --> 00:17:11,925
This is so frustrating.
478
00:17:11,927 --> 00:17:14,396
It's like you are the
only one who could help me,
479
00:17:14,398 --> 00:17:16,306
but you're also my nemesis. [gasps]
480
00:17:16,308 --> 00:17:18,752
Dear God, please forgive me
for calling you my nemesis.
481
00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:21,064
[exhales] I'm gonna stop talking now.
482
00:17:22,199 --> 00:17:25,147
Please just tell me what to do.
483
00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:28,501
[sighs]
484
00:17:28,503 --> 00:17:31,503
485
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:38,234
486
00:17:44,098 --> 00:17:45,451
[door opens]
487
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:47,036
Hey.
488
00:17:47,038 --> 00:17:48,073
Hi.
489
00:17:48,075 --> 00:17:51,536
Uh, sorry, I accidentally
took your jacket home.
490
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:52,253
That's not true.
491
00:17:52,255 --> 00:17:54,009
I did it on purpose so
I could see you again.
492
00:17:54,011 --> 00:17:56,934
- [chuckles]
- Father, I cannot tell a lie.
493
00:17:56,936 --> 00:17:57,716
Wait. That's not right.
494
00:17:57,718 --> 00:18:00,806
- That's George Washington.
- [chuckles]
495
00:18:00,808 --> 00:18:02,588
Sue.
496
00:18:02,590 --> 00:18:03,511
I'm sorry.
497
00:18:03,513 --> 00:18:05,371
No. No, no, no. I'm sorry.
498
00:18:05,373 --> 00:18:07,551
I didn't know what to say when you told me.
499
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:09,572
The whole thing just kind
of took me by surprise.
500
00:18:09,574 --> 00:18:13,441
I mean, you walk around outside
the Abercrombie store shirtless.
501
00:18:13,443 --> 00:18:15,641
That doesn't really scream priest.
502
00:18:15,643 --> 00:18:16,591
Yeah.
503
00:18:16,593 --> 00:18:19,540
No, I, um... I didn't handle it right.
504
00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:21,932
I mean, I was all like...
[imitates smooching]
505
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:22,960
"Hey, I'm a priest."
506
00:18:22,962 --> 00:18:24,265
[laughs]
507
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:28,216
But I really do like you.
508
00:18:28,218 --> 00:18:29,856
And I don't even know if
I'm gonna do it anyway.
509
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:33,205
I just... I thought it
wasn't fair not to tell you.
510
00:18:33,207 --> 00:18:34,731
No. No, no, no, no.
511
00:18:34,733 --> 00:18:36,076
You got to figure this out.
512
00:18:36,078 --> 00:18:37,658
And I've got my stuff, too.
513
00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:40,778
I've got no-cut a
cappella, no-cut tap.
514
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,783
And, besides, we're not
even at the same school.
515
00:18:43,785 --> 00:18:47,235
So, really, what were we thinking?
516
00:18:47,237 --> 00:18:49,787
I don't think we were thinking.
517
00:18:49,789 --> 00:18:51,703
I think we were feeling.
518
00:18:51,705 --> 00:18:54,275
Sometimes you got to listen to your heart
519
00:18:54,277 --> 00:18:57,352
as much as to your head.
520
00:18:57,354 --> 00:18:58,551
Crap.
521
00:18:58,553 --> 00:19:02,059
You are gonna be such a good priest.
522
00:19:02,061 --> 00:19:03,105
[chuckles]
523
00:19:03,107 --> 00:19:05,471
Bye, Nancy! Bye, Ron! Fun night!
524
00:19:05,473 --> 00:19:07,915
Hey, you guys want to come in for a beer?
525
00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:09,566
What is the matter with you?!
526
00:19:09,568 --> 00:19:11,788
There is a social contract between us!
527
00:19:11,790 --> 00:19:13,445
And that social contract says that you have
528
00:19:13,447 --> 00:19:17,001
to love, honor, and not do
this in front of our friends!
529
00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:18,710
I want you to take this hand gesture
530
00:19:18,712 --> 00:19:20,855
out of your repertoire of hand gestures!
531
00:19:20,857 --> 00:19:23,471
You know what? I talked to
Ron about it in the men's room,
532
00:19:23,473 --> 00:19:24,955
and he didn't think it was a big deal.
533
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:26,153
You talked to Ron?
534
00:19:26,155 --> 00:19:27,030
About our marriage?
535
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:28,149
In the men's room?!
536
00:19:28,151 --> 00:19:29,921
That's right. I talk to people.
537
00:19:29,923 --> 00:19:31,277
Not when they're in the middle of a story,
538
00:19:31,279 --> 00:19:32,229
but I talk to people.
539
00:19:32,231 --> 00:19:34,245
This is a fiasco!
540
00:19:34,247 --> 00:19:37,476
Now Ron's gonna tell Nancy and
it's gonna be all over the place!
541
00:19:37,478 --> 00:19:38,253
What are you doing?
542
00:19:38,255 --> 00:19:40,635
I got to casually e-mail Nancy
about how great our marriage is,
543
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,792
and then I'm gonna rip your guts out!
544
00:19:42,794 --> 00:19:44,796
- [computer beeps]
- [keyboard keys clacking]
545
00:19:44,798 --> 00:19:47,461
Oh, my God! They're back!
546
00:19:47,463 --> 00:19:49,079
- What?
- The pictures!
547
00:19:49,081 --> 00:19:50,601
All our pictures that we lost at Christmas!
548
00:19:50,603 --> 00:19:52,687
They're all back!
549
00:19:52,689 --> 00:19:53,910
Oh, my God!
550
00:19:53,912 --> 00:19:56,061
Every picture from the last seven years!
551
00:19:56,063 --> 00:19:57,119
They're all here!
552
00:19:57,121 --> 00:19:59,431
Oh! [laughs]
553
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:00,780
Oh!
554
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:01,693
Print them out.
555
00:20:01,695 --> 00:20:04,615
- I will tomorrow.
- [door opens]
556
00:20:04,617 --> 00:20:06,973
Sue! Sue! All the pictures popped back up.
557
00:20:06,975 --> 00:20:09,416
What?
558
00:20:09,418 --> 00:20:10,501
Oh!
559
00:20:10,503 --> 00:20:11,515
Oh, my God!
560
00:20:11,517 --> 00:20:14,682
This is my present from
God for giving Logan back!
561
00:20:14,684 --> 00:20:16,651
Yeah!
562
00:20:16,653 --> 00:20:18,331
- Oh, I can't believe it!
- Oh, look, look!
563
00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:20,404
- Ohh, look at that one!
- Yeah.
564
00:20:20,406 --> 00:20:21,837
- Yeah.
- Yes!
565
00:20:21,839 --> 00:20:23,022
That's the one... that's the one...
566
00:20:23,024 --> 00:20:25,537
Sometimes fights just end that way.
567
00:20:25,539 --> 00:20:27,877
You think you're
mad, then you realize
568
00:20:27,879 --> 00:20:31,451
other stuff's more important.
569
00:20:31,453 --> 00:20:34,463
570
00:20:36,138 --> 00:20:38,925
What the hell is this?
571
00:20:38,927 --> 00:20:42,423
That is my first blow
against the brothers Warner.
572
00:20:42,425 --> 00:20:44,046
Luckily, Sue's car is huge.
573
00:20:44,048 --> 00:20:46,638
You can't just take that,
Brick. It's stealing.
574
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,481
It's not stealing. They
figure this stuff in.
575
00:20:48,483 --> 00:20:49,406
They don't.
576
00:20:49,408 --> 00:20:51,073
I'm a conscientious objector.
577
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:53,936
You've always told me my whole life I
should stand up for what I believe in.
578
00:20:53,938 --> 00:20:55,309
Like when you guys
didn't take us to the pool
579
00:20:55,311 --> 00:20:58,148
for the whole summer because we were
protesting low pay for lifeguards.
580
00:20:58,150 --> 00:21:00,564
Yeah, your mom just didn't
want to take you to the pool.
581
00:21:00,566 --> 00:21:02,336
I had to do something.
582
00:21:02,338 --> 00:21:05,255
How can people spend all this time
on a movie and get it so wrong?
583
00:21:05,257 --> 00:21:07,347
[sighs] Look, Brick, you see it one way,
584
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,691
someone else sees it another way.
585
00:21:08,693 --> 00:21:10,579
They're probably not right... you are...
586
00:21:10,581 --> 00:21:12,467
but it's just the way it is.
587
00:21:12,469 --> 00:21:14,401
Don't tell your mom I said that.
588
00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,403
589
00:21:15,413 --> 00:21:24,209
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
590
00:21:24,259 --> 00:21:28,809
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
42823
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