All language subtitles for The Middle s06e03 Major Anxiety.eng

[Crow caws]

Frankie: Out here in the
middle, we love to chat.

We chat at the grocery store.

We chat at the gas station.

Yep, there's nothing
we look forward to more

than a good chat...

unless it's this one.

Can we chat for a minute?

Uh, sure.

[Sighs]

Mike.

Really? I thought you had this covered.

[Groans]

[Sighs]

- [Sports announcer talking]
- Mike.

I was gonna mute it.

[TV mutes]

Mom, dad, I've decided
I'd like to be popular.

Okay.

Not sure that's really couch-worthy.

I've noticed lately that
all of the other boys

seem to get picked up together.

I don't know where they're going,

but they laugh and slap
each other on the back

and treat each other with a
lot of camaraderie and bonhomie.

Well...

Bonhomie does not grow on trees.

It looks very enjoyable.

And I'm thinking I
might want to participate

in that kind of thing.

I know I'm not very
good at the social stuff,

so I would appreciate
any tips you could offer.

Okay.

I know you love your books,

but maybe you should put
them down once in a while

and talk to people...

you know, like at lunch or parties

or at that class we send you to

to teach you how to... Talk to people.

The thing is,

I've always enjoyed
reading by myself at lunch,

but lately, when I do
it, it feels... Lonely.

Aw, Brick. I'm sorry.

But here's the thing...
it's never too late.

You know, maybe if you tried
just a little small talk with...

Brick.

[Sighs]

- [TV unmutes]
- Mike!

He left. I thought we were done.

Breakfast! Finally!

Ah! Dude, the union was crazy.

Everyone in line was all stressed out,

like, "oh, my God. "What am I gonna do?

I got to pick a major."

It's like, "relax, nerds.
School just started."

I mean, why do we got
to worry about this now?

[Chuckling] Yeah.

We don't have to declare
a major till Friday.

Wait.

This Friday?

Aw, crap.

Guess we better stop slacking off.

All right. [Snaps fingers]

What do you say we grab a quick nap,

then slap six majors up on a dartboard

and pick whatever we hit?

Boob doctor will be the bull's-eye.

Nah, I already picked
my major... engineering.

What? Since when?

Since freshman year.

No, actually, I've wanted to
be an engineer since I was 10.

Got my next three years all laid out.

You were being responsible behind my back?

Who are you, man?

A badass future engineer.

[Sighs] But I just got
all B's, and now this?

When does it end?!

Wait. Why'd you come to college?

Because I was done with high school.

That's where you go.

So now I've got till the end of the week

to decide what I'm doing
with the rest of my life?

[Muffled] Well, I suppose

there's some magic book
with all the majors in it

that tells me what I'm supposed to be.

There is.

You've been using it for a plate.

You will not believe my day.

I just don't know how
I'm gonna get it all done.

Sergeant-at-arms,
s-p-la,

the committee to pick
the homecoming committee.

There's just no rest when you're a senior.

Since when do you drink coffee?

[Scoffs] Dad!

Everybody drinks coffee
when they're a senior.

But I'm not just doing it
because everybody else is.

I really love the taste.

Mmm!

Is this sumatra dark roast?

It's frugal hoosier white
label, grown in Muncie.

[Door opens]

Axl, I said you couldn't wash
your clothes here anymore.

But you didn't say I couldn't dry them.

Uh, please sign here.
You've just been Ax'd.

Oh, by the way, good
news... I picked my major.

Sue, dork roll, please.

[Imitates drum roll, cymbal crash]

Buddhist studies! Booyah!

Or should I say "Buddha-yah."

Really? You're a Buddhist now?

No, I'm not a Buddhist. I'm studying them.

- It's Buddhist studies.
- What did you do?

Look at an alphabetical list
of majors and stop at "B"?

What? It's perfect for me.

There's no class on Fridays,
doesn't meet before 11:00,

half the time, we meet under a tree...

'cause I guess Buddha was into that.

And Buddhism is about rebirth,

so I'll learn how my
coolness will live on forever.

In your face, death!

Axl, what kind of a job do
you think you're gonna get

as a Buddhist-studies major?

Enh. Cross that bridge when I get to it.

You can't cross what you're living under.

You're not majoring in Buddhism.

Well, then, what am I supposed to do?

You guys don't even have
a business I can take over.

[Sighs] Look, Axl,

we don't want to tell you what to do.

This is about you. You can
be anything you want to be.

But just make sure you
can make a decent salary.

Oh, and don't pick something
that's gonna get phased out,

like video-store clerk or journalist.

Oh! Now you're just confusing me.

I know exactly what
you're going through, Axl.

I am going through the same
thing trying to pick a college.

So many options...

Purdue, I.U., East Indiana State.

Oh, no. She is not going to my
school unless she changes her name

and gets one of those John
Travolta face transplants.

Whoo! I'm late. I got to go.

Hey, Axl, you're popular.

I'm listening.

I was hoping you could give me tips

on how to be popular, too.

Mm. Well, it's gonna be tough,

'cause you don't start off with
the basic awesomeness I have.

I see where you're coming from.

But I have grown quite fond
of you over the years, Brick,

so I'm gonna give you some advice.

Me... I'm way up here.

Mom and dad... they're down here.

Sue... [Whistles]

Way down here.

Now, these people... too cool.
You don't have a prayer with them.

You want to start from
Sue-level on down...

the bottom-feeders, the
band kids, the A.V. club,

maybe some girl who was
kicked in the head by a donkey

and talks slow.

There is a kid who just came
to school with a neck brace.

Ooh! Mnh-mnh. That's temporary.

It will come off, and he could be cool.

Don't waste your time.

I feel inspired.

Thank you, Axl.

Go get 'em, buddy.

Okay. That's...

- Sue? Are you in here?
- Brick!

I was just organizing
everything under my bed,

and I found all this old stuff...

beanie babies, sticker
albums, glittery pinecones.

It's a real mess down there.

Everything is covered with dust bunnies.

Even the dust bunnies have dust bunnies.

Ha! Get it?

[Gasps] Did you need something?

I just wondered if you can talk...

- Talk? [Gasps] We should have coffee.
- Why?

Because that's what
people do when they talk.

They have coffee. I love coffee.

I mean, I already had coffee,

but what's a conversation without coffee?

Of course, you're too young for coffee.

You can have cocoa.

So I'll just go get us
some coffee and cocoa,

'cause I can have coffee and you can't.

Uh, n-no, thank you.

Ohhh. But then we can hold our
mugs of coffee and sip our coffee.

You can have cocoa, and we
can sit here by the window...

Or on the bed...

Or on the chair.

This is my favorite chair!

Oh, my God! My fifth-grade yearbook!

- [Door opens]
- Hey!

How'd it go today?

I tried to talk to a girl
with a really high forehead.

It did not go great.

Mm. Well, you just got to keep trying.

And before you know it, y...

Brick, you're not even looking at me.

Why are you looking at behind me?

I was just thinking...

I've always liked that cow painting.

[Sighs]

See, this is what I'm talking about.

If you want to make friends,
you got to make eye contact.

You have to engage people.

Think of it like you're on a talk show.

You know, actors go on there,

and they're always selling themselves

and interacting and being funny.

You know what? Let's... let's practice.

[Vocalizing talk-show theme music]

Welcome to "The Heck family talk show."

I'm your host, Frankie Heck.

And I'd like to introduce
my first guest, Brick Heck.

[Imitates cheering]

So, Brick, what's this I hear
about a girl with a high forehead?

She sits next to me in wood shop.

Oh. Wood shop?

I'll bet there's a good story there.

Well, we're making spice racks,

and I asked her to pass me a sheet
of 40-grit ultra-coarse sandpaper.

I thought that would open
up a dialogue between us,

but I was wrong.

Well, look who's here.
It's your dad... Mike Heck.

Welcome to the show, Mike.

Do you have any questions
for our guest, Brick?

Sure.

Have you seen the remote?

So, Mike, what brings you to our talk show?

Well...

I am a famous actor

starring in a movie
about sports highlights.

Look... I even brought a clip.

- [Sports announcer talking]
- [Door opens]

Well, look who's here.
It's Axl and the Ax-Men.

They're always charming.

We're doing a talk show to help Brick.

Why don't you guys have a seat?

Um, 'cause we're not lame. [Chuckles]

I think we should do it.

Could be good exposure for the band.

So, what's going on with you, Axl?

Well, picked a new major.

Great. I think our audience would be
very interested in hearing about that.

Yep, I went with engineering 'cause, uh,

hutch is doing it, so I
figured we could do it together.

Plus, I like trains, so...

It's got nothing to do with trains.

Uh, I think it does.

Uh, I know it doesn't.

Engineers are the guys that
build bridges and buildings.

Oh, my God! That's an engineer?

Why don't they just call
things what they are?

Bridge builders and building builders.

- That's just embarrassing.
- And it's on TV.

Oh! Hey, guys! Hi, Darrin! What's going on?

We're doing a talk show.

[Gasps] Ooh! Let me get coffee.

Guests on talk shows always have coffee.

Oh, I remember. I do
have an upcoming project.

Well, great.

I'm going to the fall fantasy dance.

You are?

Yeah. It's at the banquet hall of the
cozy stay suites and corporate center.

And it's semi-formal...
that's almost formal.

Wow, so... so you have a date?

No, but most people go in groups.

Okay, so you're going with a group.

That, I will not.

So, you're just gonna
walk into a ballroom alone?

Do you know anybody else that's going?

- Nope.
- Whoa. That's hardcore.

Sue: Okay, I'm ready.

Sorry, sue. You're getting bumped.

What? I didn't even get to talk!

We're out of time. We
got to go to commercial.

So, Brick was determined to go
stag to the fall fantasy dance...

The fantasy being that
this was a good idea.

Show us your cellphone.

Mm.

- Any holes in your pockets?
- No.

Now show us your ticket.

And show us your cellphone again.

[Sighs]

Okay. You're good.

[Sighs]

Oh. One last thing.

Can you teach me how to dance?

Now?

Why did you wait till the last minute?

Well, it just occurred to me that
this dance might include dancing.

Okay, well, I mean, it's been a while,

but... There's, um...

There's this.

[Chuckles]

And, uh... Oh, oh! This.

Right?

Actually, I was thinking more like
how you might dance with a girl.

Oh! Okay.

Um... Well, let's see.

- You put this hand up there, like that.
- Mm-hmm.

Yes, and then you put your right
hand on her waist, like that.

And then...

You just kind of, I don't...
guide her back and forth.

Yeah.

Good!

Well, hey, Brick, you're already
a better dancer than your dad.

Standing right here.

Thanks, mom.

Oh! Forgot my breath mints.

That could have been a
real turnoff to a girl.

Whoop!

[Sighs]

Ugh.

Mike, I just want it to
go well for him, you know?

I just want him to ask a girl
to dance and for her to say yes,

and I don't want him to be crushed...

Okay, let's get you to
the dance, Mr. Sharp!

[Groans loudly]

Could you moan more softly, please?

Oh, God, I am crashing,
Axl, and I'm crashing hard.

I rode the caffeine pony,

and it took me to the depths of hell.

Sue, you drank coffee for two days.

I'm having a real crisis here.

I've got till midnight to decide what
I'm doing with the rest of my life.

Do you want to talk about it over coffee?

Oh! I can't.

I'm seven hours clean.

Here, I'll... I'll just hold an empty mug.

Seriously, sue, what should I do?

No one can tell you.

You got to figure out what you want.

Ohh, everybody's always
telling me what to do,

but now I want them to tell
me what to do, and nobody will.

Wait a minute.

There's a resource that's perfect for this.

It can help you find out about yourself

and help you with career choices.

Oh, yeah!

kickinitteenstyle.com.

[Groans]

One more time... show me
your ticket and cellphone.

All right. When do you want us to get you?

Well, the dance goes till 11:00,

but I might want to hang out
with the friends I meet after,

so let's say...

11:01.

Okay, then.

Have fun.

Go get 'em, kid.

Why is he standing there?

He's just standing there outside the door.

Oh, God. He's turning around.

Oh, he's coming back. He's coming back.

Nope.
Turning around again.

Now he's doing the robot outside.

Oh, God.

Why's he doing the robot outside?

I can't look. Just tell
me what's happening.

Well, he stopped dancing.

Now he's reading a parking sign.

And... He dropped his ticket.

Ugh.

Picking it up...

Blowing on it.

Come on, buddy. Head for that door!

Now he's moving again.

Got his hand on the door.

- Oh, he's waving!
- Oh!

Bye!

He's in.

Oh, God. He's in.

So, it was good.

We successfully delivered
Brick to his dance,

and we were feeling cautiously optimis...

[Cellphone vibrates]

Oh, crap.

Oh, crap. "Come get me."

Okay, question 3.

"You're late to a party.

Do you, 'A', take your pink sweater,

'B', your boyfriend's
arms will keep you warm,

or 'C', you have five
sweaters to pick from,

and you've known for weeks
which one you're wearing?"

"D." This party sounds lame. I'm not going.

Look, do you want to pick a major or not?

"Now, which 1D lyrics are you
most likely to hang on your wall?"

Look, we got to stay positive.

We might be picking him
up for a good reason.

There could be a fire.

- [Cellphone vibrates]
- Mm.

"Never mind. I'm okay."

He's okay. Let's go.

What does that mean, "I'm okay"?
Was he previously not okay?

Let's not go looking for problems.

[Sighs] Can we just wait a few minutes?

I don't want to drive all the way home

and then have to turn back.

Fine.

[Sighs]

Want to make out?

Sure.

But you'll have to come this way,

'cause I slept on my neck weird.

Mm.

Okay, you answered
mostly C's with a few B's,

which makes you a...

Social Sally.

"Your winning ways and outgoing personality

make you the go-to gal in any workplace."

That is me! That is so me!

Ha ha!

So, your possible career choices are...

Salon receptionist, spinning instructor,

and handbag designer to the stars.

That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

What happens if I answer all D's?

Ahhh.

That's it. I'm going in.

Oh. Hey. Frankie.

It's a junior-high dance.

If you think Brick can't fit in now,

wait till the other kids
see his mommy show up.

He'll be a marked man till college.

Fine.

I just hope it's going well.

- Still hanging on to hope, huh?
- [Sighs]

I don't know why you're
getting so worked up about this.

I mean, it's not a new situation.

We've been dealing with
this for a long time.

I know, but this is different.

Before, I wanted him to have friends.

It's worse now 'cause he wants it.

Well, maybe he's not gonna get it.

Mm.

I just don't understand
why this is so hard for him.

[Sighs]

Could we have done more...
you know, as parents?

Well, I think it's safe to
say we could have done more.

- [Sighs]
- But Brick is who he is.

They come out how they come out.

Maybe he's just always
gonna be a quirky kid.

I should have been nicer to Billy Fry.

We used to make fun of him at recess

'cause he licked worms.

Mm.

Now I know who that kid is.

He's Brick.

Please tell me Brick isn't
gonna start licking worms.

Point is, at least it's not on us.

That should make us feel better.

Yeah.

"Should."

[Doors open]

Oh, look. Here he comes.

Act casual.

[Dance music playing in distance]

Hey! There's Mr. sharp!

Where's your shoe?

Did you lose it dancing?

I don't know.

Did a bully take it?

I don't know.

- Well...
- Doesn't matter. Get in.

- So, how was it?
- Fine.

And you had a good time?

I guess so.

Did you hang out with anybody?

I don't really want to talk about it.

[Engine turns over]

Axl.

What are you doing up here?

Sometimes I come up here to think...

And occasionally throw things.

Wait a second. Do you ever throw...

Acorns at your head? Yes. All the time.

[Groans]

What am I doing with my life?

It was so much easier when I wanted
to be a fireman or a superhero.

God! I wish I was still 17.

I don't know what you're
so worried about, Axl.

Things always turn out fine for you.

Hmm.

You're right.

I was losing sight of my awesomeness.

[Chuckles] Thanks.

You know...

You're not the worst
sister a person could have.

Really?

Yeah, I guess you're, uh,
pretty good at helping people.

You think so?

Because I just love helping people so much.

You know, I haven't told anybody this yet,

but I was thinking maybe
I'd major in psychology.

Huh.

- Cool, I think I'll do that.
- What?!

Yeah, I think I'm gonna
be a psychology major.

No, no, no! You can't do that!

You are gonna steal my
major and ruin it for me!

Mm. And how does that make you feel?

Oh, no!

This is so not fair!

You won't even try, and
you'll be good at it anyway.

And then you'll take my job

because there can't be two
psychologists in one family.

- That's never done!
- Well, I'm doing it.

[Sighs]

Fine. Then I am going to your college.

You cannot go to my college!

If you're stealing my major,
then I am stealing your college!

Shut your fat mouth, Sue!

Oh, you shut your fat mouth!

Oh, way to copy me!

You are copying me!

You're stealing my major!

Okay, okay, you know what,
Axl? I can't take this anymore!

I tried to help you, and instead...

aaaaaaaaaah!

Sue!

Axl, help!

I'll help you if you say you
will not come to my school.

I won't take your hand until you
say you're not taking my major!

Whatever! Kiss the pavement! See if I care!

What?!

And you know, Brick, here's the thing.

This might not be your time
right now, but actually,

Suzanne Somers had a great
quote in her hormone book.

He's been asleep for the last five minutes.

[Sighs] Why didn't you tell me?

You seemed to be making
yourself feel better.

Look, Frankie, he'll be fine.

Look at how much we
worried about Axl and Sue,

and we hardly ever
worry about them anymore.

- Sue: No!
- Axl: Just jump! Please!

You... stay off the roof.

And you... you're majoring in business.

Oh! Thank you! [Chuckles]

The thing is, you never stop
worrying about your kids.

Sometimes they need you to
scrape them off the roof.

Sometimes you have to
give them a little nudge.

Boom! Business!

In before the stroke of midnight.

Whoo!

And sometimes, you get a fairy-tale ending

without even helping them at all.

- [Doorbell rings]
- Brick: I'll get it!

I was at the dance last
night. You left your shoe.

Oh. Thanks.

I'm Cindy.

I'm gonna get some frozen
yogurt. Want to come?

No. I'm full.

Well, sometimes you got to help a little.

Brick, she was asking you out.

- Really?
- Yes! Go! Go!

Wait up! I'm coming!

Brick! Book!

So, where did you find my shoe?

Under the table.

Really? Thought it was there.

His text said "come get me.
It's not going well in here."

Mine says "I'm fine. I want to stay."

- Why is he texting us separately?
- [Cellphone chimes]

Uh-oh.

"She doesn't like 'planet nowhere.'"

Ugh. Well, that's the end of that.

[Cellphone vibrates]

"Never mind. She was just kidding."

And then he put a smiley
face with a frog thing.

Do you know what that means?

How long should we wait?

I don't know.

Want to make out?

- Sync and corrections by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -

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