All language subtitles for Starsky And Hutch s03e18 111Class in Crime.eng

[TYRES SCREECHING]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[EXPLODES]

[GUN FIRES, CAR HORN HONKS]

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

[CROWD CHATTERING]

MAN:
Oh, my God!

[SIRENS WAILING]

[J AZZ MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO]

You left the scope
in the van, you know.

It was only 70 yards, love.

Your favourite mime was only 65
yards away. Almost close enough to be nicked.

Too many good years in you
to make such a mistake.

Now that we've ended the days
of our mime-lover Mr Allen Richards,

we're off to the home of
The House That Jack Built.

Whatever you say, love.

On this occasion, sweet Michelle,
you'll have a much more active role.

You say the nicest things, Professor.
Thank you.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[J AZZ MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO]

[SEAGULLS CAWING]

Mmm.

[PAGER BEEPING]

Are you a doctor?
No.

Roto-Rooter?
Mm-mm.

I give up. What?

Just another man who has to leave
love and beauty for the call of duty.

That's nice.
Did you just make that up?

[IMITATING BOGART]
It's better we don't say goodbye, sweetheart.

Just got beeped.
Does it hurt?

Sweetheart, you have no idea
how much. You're not kidding, huh?

STARSKY: Know how much
a plumber makes a year?

HUTCH:
More than a cop, that's for sure.

STARSKY:
Yeah. When he's off, he's off.

[SIREN WAILING]

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
ON POLICE RADIO]

Hey!
Huh?

Up there.

HUTCH:
No, no, that's William and Mary.

Rachel and Mary, William and Mary,
what's the difference?

They were married.
To who?

Each other.
Who do you think?

STARSKY:
Hmm. Interesting.

Go ahead. It's clean.
Prints?

Zip.

Maybe an easy one, huh?
Hmm.

Very light.
Right on the button.

Beautiful piece. If you're a pro,
you can hit a mosquito's mother at 70 yards.

With a scope, give me 170.
Any scope?

He didn't need it. 71 yards away,
a crowd on the sidewalk watching.

Watching what?
A mime.

What?
You know,

these kids from the college
come down with a tin cup and a bag full of talent

and entertain the people
on the sidewalk.

A mime.
Go on.

There ain't no more.
The dead man?

Allen Richards, age 28
and not a cavity in his mouth.

Salesman of fancy cars in a place
called The House That Jack Built.

$36 in his wallet and a bachelor's
button on his jacket missing.

Hmm.

The wife sends regards.
Oh, thanks.

[WOMAN SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV]

Our man Jack is a fanatic
for reruns of The Rookies.

Hasn't missed a segment
since it's on.

He'll be expecting friend Allen...

during the second commercial.

Then they'll be getting ready for me.

But he will not be expecting
a high-fashion femme fatale.

Forget it, pal.
You can't afford it.

If I was a plumber, I could.
Yeah.

WOMAN:
Which one of you is interested?

My name is Catlin,
and I'm here to assist.

Me. I'm definitely interested.

Are you experienced?

Excuse me?
These are not just cars.

Could have fooled me.

They are high-tension
engineering masterpieces,

surrounded by the body
of a sculptor's dream.

Well, actually, we're interested
in another kind of body.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Right.
Allen Richards. He used to work here.

Yes. He's dead.

You know about that?
Someone was kind enough to call.

Who?
Does it matter?

It might.

You see, he was, uh,
murdered in broad daylight.

Night-time is for women.

Polish it.

[MAN AND WOMAN
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV]

OFFICER [ON TV]: Could you tell me
what happened, ma'am?

[OFFICER AND WOMAN
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV]

Oh, hi.

Say, did you know
that they say

that these things are so quiet that
you can actually hear the rustle of silk stockings against leather? Hmm?

I love the smell of leather.

Yeah, well, you and Todesco
ought to write a book together.

Look, Miss Catlin, Allen Richards
was supposed to meet a man by the name of Jack this afternoon at 2:30.

Do you know anything about that?

"The House That Jack Built" Jack.
The owner of this joint.

You're very perceptive.
You're very kind.

Yeah. Would you have
an address on Jack?

Sure.
Would you mind giving it to me?

Sure.
Thank you.

How long have you worked
for Allen Richards, Miss Catlin?

Two years.

That's the first straight answer
I've got. You seem all broken up over his death.

Jack Morgan's number
and address.

Why is it I get the feeling she's not
telling us everything she knows?

Well, now, if I did that,
you would age before your time.

Uh...

Let me ask you something.

How much for, uh,
your piece of engineering?

Thirty-five, nine.

"Thirty-five, nine" what?

Thirty-five thousand

nine hundred dollars.

American money?

Yeah.

[MAN AND WOMAN
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

MICKIE: Now, love, which one of us
is more dangerous?

HUTCH: Is that Catlin lady just weird,
or do you think she's involved?

STARSKY: Beats me.
HUTCH: Well, I think she probably

could be, if somebody
gave her a chance.

STARSKY:
Mm-hmm. What time is it?

HUTCH: Where's your watch?
STARSKY: On my wrist.

HUTCH: Well?
STARSKY: 2:20.

HUTCH: Allen Richards had an
appointment with Jack in ten minutes.

STARSKY:
Hmm.

MAN [ON TV]:
You know what I mean?

Lipstick.

"White Shoulders."
Guess he never saw the sun.

No, I mean the smell. Perfume.
Hmm.

Like somebody
took a bath in it.

Mix that up with a little chloroform,
who the hell's gonna fight back?

Looks like The House
That Jack Built's crumbled.

GAGE: Medoc, 1969.
MICKIE: A good year.

A very good year.

You wanna hear about it?
Oh, every detail.

The door was open,
as you arranged.

I walked in, and staring me
in my plastic face was that gun.

He took 49 seconds deciding
whether to blow my brains out or go for the seduction.

You wanna know something?
Oh, indeed I would, love.

Those were the most perfectly
exquisite 49 seconds of my entire life.

Nothing, huh? OK, thanks.
DMV has nothing on Jack's house.

They kill the boss
and his top salesman.

You think somebody wants to put
Jack's auto shop out of business?

I didn't know the automobile
business was that competitive.

Hey, I'm also gonna check out
Allen Richards' apartment.

Mm-hmm.

See if anything over there
can tell us something.

Barry, look alive.

I think I'll check out
Catlin the Weirdness.

Right this way. I can't believe it.
He was such an ideal tenant.

There were no, uh,
conflicts or fights? Wild parties, strange visitors?

Oh, no. He was calm,
cooperative, a nice guy.

Mm-hmm.
Well, thank you very much.

Oh, by the way, would you be
interested in a vacant apartment?

Really, ma'am...
The body isn't even cold.

An empty apartment is.
Well, ah...

I'll lock up when I leave.
Oh, well, thank you.

Oh, oh, the key's on the right.
Yes, thank you. My.

HUTCH: Last count, we got
eight of these books on mime.

And Richards was killed watching
some mime outside of a restaurant.

That means somebody
did their homework.

We got one shot, one bullet,
books on mime,

his buddy and boss Jack Morgan

sitting with a gun in his lap
out on an OD of chloroform.

Yeah, some pro has done
his homework.

Now, according to what you got here,
Richards and Morgan went to the same school together.

Yeah, I read that, too.
Graduated classmates.

That's about the only
tangible lead you got, huh?

Tangible? Only 400 graduates
a year out of that college!

Well, 398 of them
are still alive.

Jameson's College is just up
the coast. You better get your fanny up there and check it out.

What for?
If I knew that,

I wouldn't be sending you
up there, would I?

Right.

And by the way,
where's your partner?

Oh, uh, Starsky's
checking out Catlin.

Well, that was last night.
You know, the lady from the automobile showroom.

Nobody's heard from him
since last night.

Well, knowing Starsky,
he's probably, you know...

He'd better be on his J-O-B.
Right.

Are you forgetting
I know Starsky too?

Augh! Hey!
Your timing leaves a lot to be desired.

What are you doing with that
piece of sculpting outside? You can't afford $35,000.

CATLIN:
Thirty-five, nine.

What'd you find out?
It's not worth it.

Can't corner like a Torino.

I'm talking about the case,
Detective Sergeant Starsky.

Lipstick on the buttons.

Doesn't match. Her shoulders
are white, but no perfume.

You are one good detective.
Thanks.

Ah, ah...
Um...

What are you up to?

Dobey's sending me up to
Jameson College to check on those two dead graduates.

They both went to Jameson.

I'm not very good at waiting.
Can I go now?

Hmm? Sure.
Thank you.

I'll check things out at this end.
Oh, I'm sure you will.

David?
Hmm?

How do you like your breakfast?

Over easy.

Come now, this is a class
of the philosophy of crime,

from stealing the cookies
when your mother isn't looking to murders of convenience.

Now, what I am trying to communicate

past your well-scrubbed faces
is to let go your preconceptions about the poor, downtrodden criminal.

It's nonsense. The criminal assumes
total responsibility for his life.

If one chooses to...
To steal or to commit a murder,

that is an aggressive exercise
in that individual's behaviour.

Yes, Ralph.

Uh, according to you,

it's almost as if
the bad guy's respectable.

What about the victim, the guy that
gets burned, uh, murdered, let's say?

Ah, the voice of conscience
raises its sacred heart, huh?

The victor, as well as the victim,
is responsible for his life and death.

Uh, come now, Professor,
are you telling me that if somebody murders me, I'm responsible?

Indeed, and that is the precise issue
we shall deal with in our next class,

the subtle and obvious ways
we choose our own executions.

MORGAN [ON TAPE]:
Come at 2:00 instead of 2:30.

I got to admit I'm a little nervous.
It's not every day we try and blackmail a professional hit man.

So, get here early, partner.
We should have our act together before the professor comes.

Todesco found this in Allen Richards'
apartment. The voice is identified as Jack Morgan's.

Shh!

How do you read that?
They're partners. They're both dead.

Both had appointments
with a professor.

Uh...

I know a dozen con men
who got the alias of "professor."

Well, it's a 3:00 meet. Allen Richards
got burned at 12:00 and Jack Morgan at 2:30.

Whatever made him nervous,
I'm betting on the professor.

What have you got?
Hello. How are you?

Forget the social amenities.
Fine. No kidding.

What you got?

Look, I just been through enough
microfilm and yellowed sheets of class records to make me half-blind.

So what? That's your job.
What you got?

OK, OK.

Allen Richards, good student,
B-plus average. Jack Morgan just made it. Just made it. Stunk.

The last year, the two of them took
three courses together.

First one was European history
taught by Mrs Andrews.

The second one was a course
in the art of mime, taught by a Professor Bertold.

And the third one was
in the philosophy of crime, taught by a Professor Gage.

After graduation, they remained
friends. Jack Morgan inherited that, uh, automobile showroom.

And Allen Richards was...

Let's start with
Professor Bertold, huh?

Allen Richards was shot
watching a mime.

Wait a second!
Philosophy of crime.

Hmm?

Philosophy of... I saw that.

I saw that... I saw that book.
I saw that book at the Allen Richards apartment. That's it!

You all right?
That's it! Yeah, I'm fine.

And you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna enrol at the university

in a course in philosophy of crime
taught by J Gage.

That's a mighty long shot.
So's the murder of Allen Richards.

Now, what we're concerned with today
is the fact that the killer and the killee are married,

by choice, and not accident.

Sorry.
Why?

Why what?
Well, why are you sorry?

Oh! Well, I'm sorry I came late,
interrupted your class. I apologise.

Well, why did you come in late
and interrupt?

Can we begin again?
Well, I never stopped.

Well, then let me explain.
Good.

Just take responsibility yourself.

Yes, well, I, uh... I just enrolled.
I'm a non-matriculating student.

I stopped by the registrar, and she
said that I could start the class today,

even though you'd already
been going one day.

If that's all right with you, Professor?
Is it all right with you?

[CHUCKLING]

I, uh... I think I'm being had.

By your own sense of
limiting convention under the guise of insincere politeness.

Find a seat.

What's your entire name?

HUTCH:
Hutchinson, Ken.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,
you have just witnessed a prime example of an act of innocence.

An act, I say. Hutchinson, Ken
behaved as if it were all a matter of bad timing.

Excuse me, Professor. Uh,
can we forget about the bad timing and just resume the class?

Oh, your timing was perfect,
Hutchinson. The class never stopped.

You are a living example
of what I'm trying to teach all these fair-minded students.

When an act of illegality occurs,
when a breaking of the rules takes place,

be it coming late or stealing
the cookies or committing a murder...

it is intentional and planned
by the individual, who must assume responsibility in one form or another.

Correct, Hutchinson, Ken?

I do not ask rhetorical questions.
Do you agree?

As a matter of fact, I don't.
I came late. That's no crime.

And you certainly can't equate my act,
which... Even if it was intentional, which it certainly wasn't,

with murder.

That's ludicrous.
You stopped apologising.

And you do have an opinion. Good.

Now, listen carefully.

The crime is not equal.
That is not what I said.

I did say that
when we break the rules,

there is that salacious part of us
that knows it and does it by choice.

And that part exists in you,
Hutchinson, in you, Stanley, and in you, Rachel.

And in the man who commits murder,

who exercises his freedom
of breaking the rules

and assuming responsibility
for his actions.

DOBEY [OVER RADIO]:
Starsky, this is Dobey. Where are you?

STARSKY:
I'm at the professor's house. I'll fill you in later.

DOBEY:
Just be careful.

Hello?

Anybody home?

It's not what you think.

How do you know what I think?

You think I'm a thief, right?
No.

Actually it's that Mercedes
out in front. A '63, right?

I'm a nut for old Mercedes,

so I, uh... I rang the bell.

Honest, I did.

Nobody home. So, I know
what beach living is like.

I came around, figuring there
was somebody in the water or on the porch,

and I came up, and I knocked.

Definitely did. And...

Well, I ended up inside,
figuring that...

Well, uh...

Here we are.
Yes, aren't we?

What do you want?
Uh...

Your forgiveness, a glass of water
and a Mercedes. In that order.

Water.
Ah, thanks.

Mmm. It's good. Cold.

Uh...

You, uh, wouldn't be interested
in selling it, huh?

The Mercedes.
Yes.

You would?
Yes.

Ah, how much would you want for it?
How much do you think it's worth?

A lot more than I have,
if you wanna know the truth.

You a cop?

You a criminal?
You're a cop.

Surf's up.

I have some questions.

Are you gonna take me
downtown, Officer?

If necessary, yeah.

Get a warrant, call my lawyer
and rock and roll.

What do you mean
the judge won't give us a writ?

The judges have to
be careful.

A lot of the boys are taking
their writs and intimidating people instead of investigating.

They're getting very sensitive,
and I don't blame them.

But there's a note
from the two dead men on his wall.

All it says is "We know."
Yeah.

That's not exactly evidence
pointing to a murder, is it?

Look, we don't wanna charge him,
we just wanna bring him in and question him.

Check his bank account,
his dental plates.

Anything to make
a connection.

Like a motive. Would you
hand me the mustard there?

All right, bring him in.
No.

What?
What?

Look, I, uh... I sat, or rather
squirmed, in that man's class today.

I gotta tell you, he's slick, cool
and probably very dangerous.

There's no way we're gonna
pin him against the wall with any kind of interrogation.

I mean, he'd bounce us against
the wall with his exercise of freedom before his lawyer could spring him.

So, how are we gonna
bring him in, genius?

The student is gonna give
the teacher a lesson.

[FIRE CRACKLING]

The police know.

They suspect.

They'll investigate.

They already started.

And what shall they find?

Ashes?

Is being killed by an assassin's gun
any less a suicide than jumping off a 20-storey building?

Let me diagram the lives
of two people who have...

How marvellous.

It's not often that I'm surprised
in this ambience.

Whom do I have to thank?

Ah, very well, let's, uh...

solve this mystery,
albeit somewhat banal.

First three words.
What do they connote?

Well, "I also know" means,

obviously, that they share
some information with others.

Obvious. More?

Possibly with Jack and Allen.

Actually, it implies a threat,
I believe.

Exactly.

Of what nature?

Well, it's sort of blackmail.

Something happened.

The writer knows.

Jack and Allen possibly know.

And the writer wants money,
as indicated by the dollar signs.

It's a little gauche in style.
The, uh,

underlining, exclamation point,
reflect a certain nouveau-riche mentality.

The author is obviously
of a lower-middle economic consciousness.

But what is missing?

Oh, come, come. For a threat
to be viable, for blackmail to work,

if that is indeed what this is,
we need to know the "or else" clause.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Well, it, uh...
It seems implied, Professor,

that either the party come up
with the money or the blackmailer

will go to the authorities
with damaging information.

Wrong.
Really? Why?

Well, if he did that, he's liable
to be arrested himself on any number of charges.

Withholding information, blackmail,
who knows what other complicities?

And if he does what Mr Hutchinson
suggests, class, what else does he lose?

His clout.

Exactly.

As you succinctly put it, he abandons
the privacy of the information

and the opportunity
for compensation.

It's a good thing
you're not matriculating, Hutchinson,

because, frankly, you would not
be graded highly.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

Mr Hutchinson.

Ah, shall we, uh,
take a little walk?

Now, how do you find
the class?

Fascinating.

You're a little bit older
than many of the students.

I'm a late bloomer.

You did write that message.

Give the professor an A.

Well, maybe we should, uh, talk a bit.
That's what we're doing, isn't it?

Well, actually, we have a great
many things to discuss,

and this is, uh...
This is hardly the place.

How about my place? I live in...
I know where you live, Professor.

I've done my homework.

Well, you constantly surprise me,
Mr Hutchinson.

My place, then. Say, an hour?

Say two hours,

but not in your place.

On the beach, about 200 yards
north of the house.

Wear a pair of pants
and a shirt.

Can't we be civilised about it,
say, having a drink on my porch?

I know a lot of civilised people
who are dead.

On the beach, clean,
carrying nothing.

Two hours.

You're crazy. This guy's a pro.

One bullet, no-miss time.

I mean, how do you expect to avoid
the same fate as his other two unfavourite students? Hmm?

I'm counting on you.
Terrific.

Let me have those things.

The car?
Packed. Gas tank full.

Bank accounts?
Empty. We have the cash.

Excellent. Tickets?

At the airport.
Reservations confirmed to Rio.

Rio will be excellent
this time of year.

By the time the authorities figure
it all out, we'll have been in three countries

and changed our identities twice.

You're marvellous.
I know.

Good.
Now, I will try to get

ocean-side of Hutchinson, Ken.

And when I'm sure he hasn't left
any information with anyone else,

I will bend down and ostensibly
pick up a seashell.

Isn't it kind of chancy?
What ever happened to "preparation is part of the process"?

There isn't any time.

Besides, the sign of a true
professional is his ability to improvise.

Are you up to it?

I wouldn't have it any other way.

The water's warm today.

I, uh, got the money
for you,

but, uh, how do I know
that you haven't told anyone else?

You're gonna have to take
my word for it.

Jack and Allen told me
that they hadn't told anyone else.

Well, they lied.
They told me.

Well, how do I know
that you're not lying to me?

Uh, because I'm selfish,
and I would've had to share a piece with them.

And I don't share
with anybody.

They're also dumb.
That's why they're dead.

You are much smarter,
Mr Hutchinson.

Ken.

Ken.

It's a rather beautiful shell.

STARSKY:
Hutch!

[GUNSHOTS]

Mickie!

You could have killed her.
Yeah, I could have, but I didn't.

Looks like we can forget
about our fish dinner.

Hmm.

Hey, you guys,
you gotta think positively.

STARSKY: I think it's
positively hopeless.

MARY: It gets dark
in a couple hours, Ken.

Look, you gotta have a little faith
in this business, a little patience.

There's probably a whole
school of fish running around down there right now.

STARSKY:
Yeah, probably as bored as I am.

Maybe it's your
equipment, Ken.

Sweetheart, this is a brand-new
rod and reel.

It's gonna take him a year
to pay it off.

Starsky, without exception,
this is the finest fishing equipment that money can buy.

Well, it's a shame
the fish don't know that.

Whoa! Whoa!

And don't they now, dirt ball?
Oh, man, have I got a big one! Whoa!

Go get him, Ken!
Is it really a fish?

No, no, it's a Border collie.

Oh, are we gonna have a fish dinner
tonight! Well, Starsky, don't just sit there, get a net!

A net? A net.
Get a net! Get a net!

OK, all right! Where is it?
Come on! Get it!

Where is it?
Oh, this is a biggie!

Come on!
Where is it?

Hold this!
What?

Hold this!
OK, I got it.

Yeah, well, let me out! Let me out!
I got it!

OK. Oh, it's a big one.
I got it! I got it! I got it!

I got it! I got it! Get the net, will you?!
I'm getting it.

Get it, get it!

The line's gone dead.
Oh, terrific!

HUTCH: No, it hasn't. No, it hasn't.
It's just an old trick the fish play to fake you out.

Ah, ah, he's still on.
He is?

HUTCH:
Yeah. I got it!

Aah!
MARY: Aah!

[SPLASHES]

Well, uh...

Uh, let's have
a spaghetti dinner, huh?

I'll buy, huh?

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