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00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:02,966
Hi. I'm Helen Winston,
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00:00:02,938 --> 00:00:05,871
former wife of mayor
Randall Winston.
3
00:00:05,804 --> 00:00:09,070
When I was asked to do this campaign
commercial, I jumped at the chance,
4
00:00:08,989 --> 00:00:12,288
because I know Randall
better than almost anyone...
5
00:00:12,206 --> 00:00:15,138
Which is why I say
a vote for Winston
6
00:00:15,072 --> 00:00:19,304
is a vote for the complete
destruction of New York.
7
00:00:20,485 --> 00:00:22,017
Please...
8
00:00:22,014 --> 00:00:23,846
Vote pat Jones.
9
00:00:25,581 --> 00:00:28,279
I think she still
likes you.
10
00:00:28,224 --> 00:00:31,190
What do you think the Jones
campaign paid her to do this?
11
00:00:31,121 --> 00:00:34,154
Oh, no, sir.
She paid them.
12
00:00:34,083 --> 00:00:37,549
We can't just let this go. We're
gonna have to respond in some way.
13
00:00:37,459 --> 00:00:39,291
Of course.
I say we disagree.
14
00:00:39,274 --> 00:00:41,239
That's a dynamite
instinct.
15
00:00:41,217 --> 00:00:44,049
We're gonna have to be
a little more specific
16
00:00:43,987 --> 00:00:46,720
than just, uh...
(PEEVISHLY) Nuh-uh.
17
00:00:46,662 --> 00:00:49,294
In the meantime,
I got the guys in the lab
18
00:00:49,242 --> 00:00:52,608
to put in a special effect,
something that'll cheer you up.
19
00:00:52,521 --> 00:00:53,954
What kind of effect?
20
00:00:53,955 --> 00:00:56,721
Once you get past this spot,
a piano falls on her head.
21
00:00:56,662 --> 00:00:59,127
(PIANO CRASHES)
22
00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:02,266
Again.
23
00:01:28,826 --> 00:01:31,591
You know what, when I
look around this room,
24
00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:34,364
I don't see a staff.
You know, I see a family.
25
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,269
A family
that works together,
26
00:01:36,246 --> 00:01:38,144
a family that cares
for each other,
27
00:01:38,124 --> 00:01:39,691
and you know what?
28
00:01:39,686 --> 00:01:41,783
I don't have time
for this crap.
29
00:01:41,754 --> 00:01:44,720
You're all coming to the mayor's
for Thanksgiving dinner.
30
00:01:44,652 --> 00:01:46,219
Oh, God! Oh, my God!
But... No, no!
31
00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:48,845
Listen to me.
We're getting attacked, ok?
32
00:01:48,794 --> 00:01:51,893
We have to do something to show the
voters that the mayor is a family guy.
33
00:01:51,818 --> 00:01:54,583
Whatever. At least it
gets me out of Carter's
34
00:01:54,526 --> 00:01:56,324
little
gay Thanksgiving.
35
00:01:56,309 --> 00:01:58,574
It's going to be
a traditional dinner.
36
00:01:58,537 --> 00:02:00,469
Turkey, sweet potato,
pumpkin pie.
37
00:02:00,448 --> 00:02:01,647
What about stuffing?
38
00:02:01,659 --> 00:02:05,324
(OMINOUSLY)
They do that after.
39
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,324
The dinner will be
televised live.
40
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,060
The guest list will include
the mayor's father,
41
00:02:09,047 --> 00:02:12,113
his daughter Meg, and 8 of his
nearest and dearest employees.
42
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,140
Now, I know what
you're thinking.
43
00:02:14,110 --> 00:02:16,876
You're thinking, "this sucks,
but at least I'm getting paid."
44
00:02:16,817 --> 00:02:19,550
Well, you're wrong.
It just sucks.
45
00:02:19,492 --> 00:02:22,292
Mike, I was supposed
to meet Arthur's family.
46
00:02:22,231 --> 00:02:24,030
Oh, relax. The circus
does not leave town
47
00:02:24,014 --> 00:02:26,113
for another couple
of weeks.
48
00:02:26,085 --> 00:02:29,484
Come on, Mike. I wanna spend the
day with this guy I'm dating.
49
00:02:29,396 --> 00:02:32,062
I'm crazy about him.
It's really serious.
50
00:02:32,007 --> 00:02:33,273
What's his name?
51
00:02:33,281 --> 00:02:34,846
Kevin...
52
00:02:34,841 --> 00:02:36,473
Something.
53
00:02:36,466 --> 00:02:38,698
James, this is gonna
be a family event.
54
00:02:38,663 --> 00:02:41,496
So I need you to come up with something,
you know, something for the kids.
55
00:02:41,434 --> 00:02:44,367
How about we set up an
interactive city hall website
56
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:47,133
where the kids can download various
historic pictures and sounds,
57
00:02:47,070 --> 00:02:50,003
like creating a virtual
Thanksgiving in cyberspace?
58
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,369
How about a puppet show?
59
00:03:00,191 --> 00:03:04,356
Paul, I need you
to check on the food.
60
00:03:04,235 --> 00:03:06,701
Excellent.
61
00:03:06,656 --> 00:03:09,021
Carter, can you check
on the decorations for me?
62
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,246
Oh, sure. The gay guy.
63
00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:14,043
Fine. Then go down to the
cellar and pick out some wine.
64
00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:16,779
Ha! Another stereotype.
65
00:03:16,719 --> 00:03:19,318
Well, what would you
like to do?
66
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,365
I wanna arrange
the flowers.
67
00:03:21,336 --> 00:03:24,569
Mike, I know you expected to
sit next to me at dinner.
68
00:03:24,489 --> 00:03:28,588
I would prefer to sit
closer to the camera.
69
00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:30,369
Well, that's it.
70
00:03:30,348 --> 00:03:32,247
Dinner's off!
71
00:03:32,228 --> 00:03:34,027
Hey, janelle,
72
00:03:34,011 --> 00:03:36,110
nice dress.
73
00:03:36,081 --> 00:03:37,680
What'd it run ya?
74
00:03:37,673 --> 00:03:40,439
Can't you just say
that's a nice dress?
75
00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:42,313
Depends.
What'd it run ya?
76
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:45,091
I don't like to
talk about money.
77
00:03:45,030 --> 00:03:46,863
Ha. Me neither.
78
00:03:46,845 --> 00:03:49,177
This suit... Free.
79
00:03:52,195 --> 00:03:53,760
You got taken.
80
00:03:56,367 --> 00:03:59,366
Oh, it would've been so romantic
to be with Arthur today.
81
00:03:59,297 --> 00:04:01,129
I'm sure you feel
the same way about Kevin.
82
00:04:01,112 --> 00:04:02,543
Yeah, I do.
83
00:04:02,544 --> 00:04:04,177
Hey, Kevin.
84
00:04:05,698 --> 00:04:07,196
You dog!
85
00:04:07,193 --> 00:04:10,059
Look, we got
a saying in Brooklyn.
86
00:04:09,996 --> 00:04:12,796
When you wanna get with your man
but you can't be where he is,
87
00:04:12,736 --> 00:04:15,301
you bring him
to where ya at.
88
00:04:15,252 --> 00:04:16,551
That's a saying
in Brooklyn?
89
00:04:16,558 --> 00:04:19,256
Look, I'm from Brooklyn.
I just said it.
90
00:04:21,111 --> 00:04:23,409
Can't believe my
daughter can't make it.
91
00:04:23,371 --> 00:04:25,171
Meg going
to her mom's?
92
00:04:25,156 --> 00:04:26,220
No.
93
00:04:26,238 --> 00:04:27,804
It's her college.
94
00:04:27,799 --> 00:04:31,364
Apparently, California schools don't
give any days off for Thanksgiving.
95
00:04:31,269 --> 00:04:34,034
No Thanksgiving, no
Christmas, no summer breaks.
96
00:04:33,976 --> 00:04:36,376
It's insane.
Kids can't get home.
97
00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:40,166
Right now she's stuck doing the
week abroad at some pre-med program
98
00:04:40,059 --> 00:04:41,491
in Cancun.
99
00:04:41,491 --> 00:04:43,358
Club med, Cancun?
100
00:04:43,339 --> 00:04:45,504
That's the one.
101
00:04:45,472 --> 00:04:48,605
Well, sir, look at the bright side.
At least your dad's coming.
102
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:50,328
Now, don't get me
wrong.
103
00:04:50,313 --> 00:04:53,846
My father and I, we have this
wonderful, healthy relationship.
104
00:04:53,753 --> 00:04:55,719
We just don't like
each other.
105
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,093
So you don't
tell me that,
106
00:04:58,051 --> 00:05:01,618
but I get a 4-page memo that
you're allergic to cumin.
107
00:05:01,524 --> 00:05:03,222
Makes my lips puff up.
108
00:05:05,058 --> 00:05:06,258
Oh, look!
109
00:05:06,268 --> 00:05:07,599
My father's here.
110
00:05:07,605 --> 00:05:10,437
Well, let's try to keep him
off the furniture, huh, sir?
111
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,575
No, that's his dog,
brutus.
112
00:05:12,542 --> 00:05:15,707
I'm in town 10 minutes, already
I've got a parking ticket!
113
00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:18,630
Tell dad I say hello.
114
00:05:18,561 --> 00:05:22,593
James, I've been looking at the
script for the puppet show,
115
00:05:22,478 --> 00:05:24,210
and, uh... Yikes!
116
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:26,963
I thought we were presenting an accurate
depiction of the first Thanksgiving.
117
00:05:26,904 --> 00:05:28,502
We are.
118
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:31,062
James...
119
00:05:31,013 --> 00:05:34,945
I don't think the pilgrims were
big into the hip hop scene.
120
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,633
Carter, I'm just trying
to appeal to the kids today
121
00:05:37,573 --> 00:05:39,505
by adding a little
modern flava.
122
00:05:39,484 --> 00:05:40,948
Er.
123
00:05:46,648 --> 00:05:49,080
Ok, well, I had the caterer
124
00:05:49,037 --> 00:05:51,603
ride your dog out
to the stables.
125
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,518
You've got a nice
place here.
126
00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:55,794
Tell him I said
thanks.
127
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,722
Maybe one day you'll
own your own house.
128
00:05:58,654 --> 00:06:01,019
Well, the house
comes with being... ahem...
129
00:06:00,979 --> 00:06:03,845
the mayor, which is what I am...
In case you forgot.
130
00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:06,747
Ok, look, I, uh, I understand
what's going on here,
131
00:06:06,679 --> 00:06:09,144
but I'm afraid the
viewing audience at home
132
00:06:09,099 --> 00:06:11,865
might mistake this
playful father/son banter
133
00:06:11,807 --> 00:06:13,539
as... I don't know...
Hatred?
134
00:06:13,525 --> 00:06:15,458
So, uh... It's a holiday.
135
00:06:15,436 --> 00:06:17,935
Why don't you guys
just shake hands?
136
00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:22,774
There ya go.
137
00:06:23,907 --> 00:06:25,273
Let me take
your coat, sir.
138
00:06:25,277 --> 00:06:26,710
Yes, thank you.
139
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:30,043
I saw the portrait of
your mother in your den.
140
00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:32,324
As if you didn't spend enough
time with her growing up.
141
00:06:32,283 --> 00:06:34,249
I only spent time with her
because you were never there.
142
00:06:34,225 --> 00:06:37,291
Oh, come on! You have
nothing to complain about.
143
00:06:37,219 --> 00:06:39,152
You've had everything handed
to you your whole life.
144
00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:40,895
You handed it.
145
00:06:40,882 --> 00:06:42,048
Well, you took it!
146
00:06:42,059 --> 00:06:43,692
What choice
did I have?
147
00:06:43,684 --> 00:06:45,284
Well...
To not take it!
148
00:06:45,276 --> 00:06:48,142
What sense would
that have made?!
149
00:06:49,702 --> 00:06:51,135
Whoa, whoa, guys, look,
150
00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:54,069
can we just acknowledge that the
Winston men love each other
151
00:06:54,002 --> 00:06:57,302
and that the family bond
transcends any petty differences?
152
00:06:57,218 --> 00:06:58,350
Can we at least
acknowledge
153
00:06:58,365 --> 00:07:01,364
that the Winston men
are such accomplished wasps
154
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:04,127
that they're masters at pretending
that there is no problem?
155
00:07:04,065 --> 00:07:05,230
You hungry, sport?
156
00:07:05,243 --> 00:07:07,509
You know it, pops.
157
00:07:07,472 --> 00:07:10,071
There it is.
There's the Connecticut spirit.
158
00:07:12,504 --> 00:07:14,437
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
159
00:07:14,415 --> 00:07:16,081
MAN, WHISPERING:
No lights.
160
00:07:16,071 --> 00:07:17,637
No problem.
161
00:07:19,256 --> 00:07:20,688
Where are you?
162
00:07:20,689 --> 00:07:22,254
Over here.
163
00:07:24,033 --> 00:07:26,465
BOTH: Mmm...
164
00:07:26,421 --> 00:07:28,620
(KISSING SOUNDS)
165
00:07:33,363 --> 00:07:35,529
Happy Thanksgiving.
166
00:07:43,044 --> 00:07:46,177
You've got a new,
beautiful glow, Stacy.
167
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:50,566
So why is someone giving you a free suit?
What's the catch?
168
00:07:50,495 --> 00:07:54,861
No catch. I happen to be
a very attractive man.
169
00:07:54,731 --> 00:07:56,930
Ok, now, in 2 minutes,
we're gonna be on live TV.
170
00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:58,595
In front of you, you will
find little place cards,
171
00:07:58,585 --> 00:08:01,017
and on those cards you will see
what I would like you to talk about
172
00:08:00,973 --> 00:08:01,872
when you're on the air.
173
00:08:01,896 --> 00:08:04,696
Hey, Mike...
My card is blank.
174
00:08:05,878 --> 00:08:08,143
Must be a typo.
175
00:08:08,106 --> 00:08:09,905
I'm starved.
176
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:12,455
Oh, everything here looks
very nice, Randall.
177
00:08:12,405 --> 00:08:14,338
Well, thank you, dad.
178
00:08:14,316 --> 00:08:16,382
And... We're live.
179
00:08:16,354 --> 00:08:19,020
Good evening.
180
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,931
I'm the mayor of New York.
181
00:08:23,138 --> 00:08:26,070
And I would like to
invite you to have Thanksgiving
182
00:08:26,004 --> 00:08:28,336
with me and my family.
183
00:08:28,297 --> 00:08:29,729
These rolls
are cold.
184
00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,662
I knew it.
I knew I would fail.
185
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,972
Nothing is ever
good enough for you!
186
00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:43,002
And we're dead.
187
00:08:42,978 --> 00:08:46,844
This looks like it could be even
better than the football game.
188
00:08:52,276 --> 00:08:54,208
Hello.
189
00:08:54,187 --> 00:08:57,619
Welcome to Thanksgiving
dinner with the mayor.
190
00:09:01,003 --> 00:09:02,535
The mayor... the mayor
isn't here right now.
191
00:09:02,531 --> 00:09:04,396
Uh, he...
192
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:07,510
Ha ha ha! Ha ha! He went out back
to... to check on the kids' table.
193
00:09:07,435 --> 00:09:09,634
It's gonna take him
a few minutes,
194
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:11,533
because that's in
the backyard.
195
00:09:11,512 --> 00:09:13,577
I know what you're thinking.
196
00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:15,715
You're thinking, "brr,
it's 20 degrees outside,"
197
00:09:15,683 --> 00:09:18,749
but, uh, the kids
have hats on, and... and... and...
198
00:09:18,677 --> 00:09:21,309
and God love 'em,
they love the gravy pops.
199
00:09:22,753 --> 00:09:24,719
So I'm gonna go
help the mayor,
200
00:09:24,695 --> 00:09:26,761
and while I do that,
201
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:30,333
all of these people here are gonna
tell you what they're grateful for.
202
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,935
Uh... Oh. Um...
203
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,746
Well, I would like to give
thanks for my amazing boyfriend.
204
00:09:36,637 --> 00:09:38,203
Hi, Arthur.
205
00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:40,897
That's so touching. Can
we move on, please?
206
00:09:42,497 --> 00:09:44,296
You know what? I'd like
to thank my mom and dad
207
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:48,013
for always believing in me, and of
course my friends for being there, and...
208
00:09:47,911 --> 00:09:50,676
hey, junior, this is
Thanksgiving, not the oscars.
209
00:09:50,618 --> 00:09:53,383
Now I'd be thankful
for some decent wine.
210
00:09:53,324 --> 00:09:55,756
Hi. I'm Paul lassiter,
211
00:09:55,713 --> 00:09:58,312
and I'm the press secretary
here,
212
00:09:58,261 --> 00:10:00,226
and I'm thankful for
the low, low prices
213
00:10:00,203 --> 00:10:01,502
at Murray's suit warehouse
214
00:10:01,509 --> 00:10:04,175
on Fordham road in the Bronx.
215
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,252
If you're in a hurry...
216
00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:08,121
Shop at Murray's.
217
00:10:09,502 --> 00:10:10,902
The mayor's
Thanksgiving dinner.
218
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,802
You know, I've seen
this episode.
219
00:10:12,782 --> 00:10:16,781
This is the one where we find out
if we all still have careers.
220
00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,600
Mike, look at this ring.
221
00:10:18,578 --> 00:10:23,177
Every father in my family
has given one to his son.
222
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:26,169
I found mine
in a box in the attic.
223
00:10:26,094 --> 00:10:29,426
Well, sir, maybe he was just
waiting for the right moment.
224
00:10:29,342 --> 00:10:32,307
Box was labeled, "things
I'll have to give to Randall
225
00:10:32,239 --> 00:10:34,138
if I don't have
another son."
226
00:10:34,118 --> 00:10:36,819
Sir, we're getting
attacked on family values.
227
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,694
Now, by my watch,
you have 27 minutes
228
00:10:39,627 --> 00:10:42,826
to get back in there
and make up with your dad.
229
00:10:42,749 --> 00:10:44,149
Sorry, Mike.
230
00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:46,849
Sometimes you just
have to take a stand.
231
00:10:46,794 --> 00:10:49,160
Besides, they look like they're
doing fine without me.
232
00:10:49,119 --> 00:10:51,717
I find comfort in
the Thanksgiving holiday, but...
233
00:10:51,666 --> 00:10:54,565
Not even Thanksgiving
can top the comfort
234
00:10:54,501 --> 00:10:57,700
of a pair of ultra-ped
casual dress shoes.
235
00:10:57,622 --> 00:11:01,287
So, let your feet
use their head.
236
00:11:01,188 --> 00:11:02,487
Always wear ultra-ped.
237
00:11:02,494 --> 00:11:03,925
(IN LOWER VOICE)
Prices may vary.
238
00:11:03,926 --> 00:11:06,259
Not all styles available
in all stores.
239
00:11:11,186 --> 00:11:13,152
Ah, Stacy.
240
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:19,030
Looking for another backstage
pass to lollapa-stuza?
241
00:11:18,893 --> 00:11:22,192
Ok, look, I'm sorry.
242
00:11:22,111 --> 00:11:23,343
I mean it's
not your fault
243
00:11:23,353 --> 00:11:27,185
that God put such soft lips
on a slimy, evil creature.
244
00:11:27,079 --> 00:11:28,044
Oh, hey.
245
00:11:28,065 --> 00:11:29,131
Come on.
246
00:11:29,149 --> 00:11:31,081
You don't have
to call me...
247
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:33,959
wait a minute,
soft lips.
248
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,431
You liked it.
249
00:11:37,428 --> 00:11:38,861
No, I didn't.
250
00:11:38,862 --> 00:11:41,126
No, Stacy, come on!
I know that look.
251
00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:44,723
Repulsed, yet strangely
drawn to me.
252
00:11:44,625 --> 00:11:47,557
It doesn't count.
I thought you were Kevin.
253
00:11:47,491 --> 00:11:50,823
Uh-uh. If you liked it,
you liked it.
254
00:11:50,739 --> 00:11:54,371
No, you can like something before
you find out what it really is.
255
00:11:56,407 --> 00:11:57,907
Ok.
256
00:11:57,905 --> 00:11:59,971
I know you want to
keep this between us.
257
00:12:01,376 --> 00:12:04,608
But I'm obligated to go tell
the city on live television.
258
00:12:04,529 --> 00:12:05,860
It's my moral code.
259
00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:06,965
Stuart!
260
00:12:06,981 --> 00:12:08,713
You liked it!
261
00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:10,665
You liked it!
262
00:12:11,757 --> 00:12:12,689
You...
263
00:12:12,713 --> 00:12:14,046
liked it!
264
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,643
Paul lassiter,
ladies and gentlemen.
265
00:12:17,618 --> 00:12:20,917
Good sport.
Knows how to take a fall.
266
00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:25,999
James, why don't you share your favorite
spontaneous memory of the mayor?
267
00:12:25,833 --> 00:12:28,133
Well, Mike, there are
just so darn many.
268
00:12:28,094 --> 00:12:30,426
It would have to be the time
the mayor surprised me
269
00:12:30,387 --> 00:12:32,420
with that clinique
makeup kit.
270
00:12:32,393 --> 00:12:34,392
Funny, that sounds
an awful lot like
271
00:12:34,368 --> 00:12:36,234
one of janelle's
favorite memories.
272
00:12:38,444 --> 00:12:41,610
You know, these are just
the kind of awkward moments
273
00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:44,499
that the mayor loves so much.
274
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,597
And, uh, I'm sure
he'll be out here any minute.
275
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,486
No, he won't.
276
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:52,549
Stacy and I kissed
and she liked it!
277
00:12:52,489 --> 00:12:53,787
ALL: What?
278
00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:54,793
I tricked her.
279
00:12:54,813 --> 00:12:56,312
ALL: Oh.
280
00:12:57,648 --> 00:13:00,213
You know, I usually enjoy a
fine meal at Thanksgiving,
281
00:13:00,163 --> 00:13:01,295
but my son
is not here,
282
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:02,375
the wine is so-so,
283
00:13:02,392 --> 00:13:03,491
and there's
no Turkey,
284
00:13:03,507 --> 00:13:05,039
so maybe I should just
go to the rainbow room.
285
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,367
Sir, sir.
286
00:13:06,373 --> 00:13:08,872
Everybody pass
the plates around.
287
00:13:08,824 --> 00:13:10,290
Sir, please.
288
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,522
Um, look,
you're a businessman.
289
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,319
What do I have to do
to get you to stay?
290
00:13:14,303 --> 00:13:15,902
Some time ago,
my wife gave my son
291
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,860
one of my prized
bottles of wine,
292
00:13:17,837 --> 00:13:19,536
chateau le fite,
'47.
293
00:13:19,525 --> 00:13:21,291
You've got 3 minutes
to find it.
294
00:13:21,277 --> 00:13:22,942
Deal.
295
00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,331
Uh, James, Carter,
start with your puppet show.
296
00:13:24,334 --> 00:13:26,366
Put the plates down.
297
00:13:27,709 --> 00:13:28,775
I'll be right back.
298
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,244
Yello, Mike.
299
00:13:38,569 --> 00:13:40,668
Saw you coming.
300
00:13:40,639 --> 00:13:42,805
Oh, yeah.
That's great, sir.
301
00:13:42,773 --> 00:13:45,339
Where's my wine?
302
00:13:45,288 --> 00:13:49,187
Remind me not to book him
for the Christmas special.
303
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,277
I gotta go.
I gotta get...
304
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,220
Yeah, I saw that part.
305
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,864
Said he'd leave
if you didn't.
306
00:13:53,855 --> 00:13:55,921
I wonder what's gonna
happen next.
307
00:13:56,976 --> 00:14:00,208
Oh, look hither!
A Turkey!
308
00:14:00,129 --> 00:14:01,928
A free range Turkey
with no preservatives
309
00:14:01,911 --> 00:14:03,910
or growth-enhancing
chemicals.
310
00:14:05,128 --> 00:14:06,894
Of course not.
311
00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:08,612
Because those things
don't exist...
312
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:11,365
Mr. psychic pilgrim who can see
hundreds of years into the future!
313
00:14:12,357 --> 00:14:13,922
I can't see
into the future
314
00:14:13,918 --> 00:14:15,517
but I can certainly
see the script,
315
00:14:15,510 --> 00:14:17,641
and your line is "gobble
gobble gobble!"
316
00:14:21,115 --> 00:14:23,546
Oh, please tell me that's not the
bottle of wine I'm looking for.
317
00:14:23,503 --> 00:14:24,869
What? This isn't
the good stuff.
318
00:14:24,873 --> 00:14:26,538
It's old and dusty.
319
00:14:26,527 --> 00:14:29,393
Oh, it's from 1947.
320
00:14:29,331 --> 00:14:31,163
And it's not even
from America.
321
00:14:31,146 --> 00:14:32,946
I don't have time for this.
Give it to me.
322
00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:34,562
Hey, get
your own hooch.
323
00:14:34,554 --> 00:14:37,919
It took me 10 minutes to gnaw
the cork out of this one.
324
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:40,832
Aw, don't backwash in it.
325
00:14:40,762 --> 00:14:42,661
Have you been
eating crackers?
326
00:14:42,642 --> 00:14:47,476
Mike, Stuart's lips cannot be the
last ones that touch mine. Kiss me.
327
00:14:49,744 --> 00:14:53,110
I'd be worried about you
shooting and eating me.
328
00:14:53,024 --> 00:14:54,323
But of course,
329
00:14:54,330 --> 00:14:55,663
you've probably
used up all your ammo
330
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:57,932
killing and oppressing
the Indians.
331
00:14:57,896 --> 00:15:00,429
What you don't know
is that the pilgrims
332
00:15:00,381 --> 00:15:03,380
would head-butt the turkeys
when they ran out of bullets.
333
00:15:03,310 --> 00:15:04,410
It went a little
something like this.
334
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,857
(THUD THUD THUD)
335
00:15:05,857 --> 00:15:07,224
Oh. Is that right?
336
00:15:07,228 --> 00:15:09,159
(MUMBLING ANGRILY
TO EACH OTHER)
337
00:15:10,157 --> 00:15:11,889
It's go time, mister.
338
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:13,043
Come on, pilgrim!
339
00:15:13,056 --> 00:15:13,988
Come on,
pilgrim!
340
00:15:14,011 --> 00:15:15,442
Come on, Turkey!
341
00:15:15,443 --> 00:15:17,208
Come on! Go!
342
00:15:17,195 --> 00:15:19,794
No kiss, no wine.
343
00:15:22,418 --> 00:15:26,117
All right. All right, Stacey.
You know what?
344
00:15:26,016 --> 00:15:27,981
Close your eyes.
345
00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:31,258
'Cause I'm gonna
rock... Your...
346
00:15:31,175 --> 00:15:32,640
World!
347
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,706
Hey!
348
00:15:35,187 --> 00:15:38,053
Hey, you don't wanna
mess with a sicilian!
349
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:45,605
Sir, why don't you take
this out to your father?
350
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,422
Oh, that's great.
351
00:15:51,206 --> 00:15:54,605
Sir, I don't want to trivialize the complex
relationship between you and your dad,
352
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,617
but if you go out there,
353
00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:59,053
I'll give you a cookie.
354
00:15:59,008 --> 00:16:01,140
I think he can
swallow this ring
355
00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,876
the same way I've been
swallowing all of his insults.
356
00:16:07,097 --> 00:16:08,395
That's good, sir.
357
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:11,334
You know what? You should put
your cufflinks in the gravy.
358
00:16:11,268 --> 00:16:12,534
No. Wait, wait.
359
00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:14,408
I'll, uh,
I'll bring it out.
360
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,456
You know what, sir?
361
00:16:15,472 --> 00:16:17,571
This is a Turkey,
this is not a pi?ata.
362
00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:19,707
All right, turn your
beak and cough.
363
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,245
You're taking this...
364
00:16:22,255 --> 00:16:24,188
back.
365
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:25,398
Oh, man.
366
00:16:25,407 --> 00:16:27,041
My watch is stuck.
367
00:16:27,032 --> 00:16:27,965
Come on.
368
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,252
Come on, Turkey,
let go.
369
00:16:30,216 --> 00:16:31,749
Mike, take a look
at this.
370
00:16:34,229 --> 00:16:36,061
(UGH!)
371
00:16:37,541 --> 00:16:38,607
Ah!
372
00:16:41,617 --> 00:16:43,016
Come with me.
373
00:16:43,942 --> 00:16:45,375
Come back,
pencil neck!
374
00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:50,448
MIKE:
Hi, kids.
375
00:16:50,470 --> 00:16:52,469
Well, that ends
that portion of our show.
376
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,778
But Mr. pilgrim and Mr. Turkey
sure would like to apologize
377
00:16:54,738 --> 00:16:56,471
for their behavior.
378
00:16:59,292 --> 00:17:01,358
This is a sad day
for puppets.
379
00:17:02,477 --> 00:17:05,476
Mr. mayor, we're off
the air in 3 minutes.
380
00:17:08,177 --> 00:17:10,542
You gotta get out there.
381
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,700
You just don't understand.
382
00:17:12,667 --> 00:17:14,632
You know what, sir?
383
00:17:14,609 --> 00:17:16,374
I need some help.
384
00:17:16,361 --> 00:17:17,593
Just once,
385
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:23,702
I wish my father would just
look me in the face and say,
386
00:17:23,494 --> 00:17:25,759
"I'm proud of you,
son."
387
00:17:25,723 --> 00:17:28,122
Well, you know...
hi. How're you doin'?
388
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,145
He's not gonna change.
389
00:17:30,118 --> 00:17:32,450
You have gotta be
the bigger man.
390
00:17:32,411 --> 00:17:34,310
But you know what
really worries me?
391
00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:38,289
(STRAINING VOICE) That I'm the
same type of father he is!
392
00:17:40,149 --> 00:17:41,215
Oh!
393
00:17:43,971 --> 00:17:46,470
You know, sir?
Look at your family.
394
00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:50,555
Oh, come on, Mike. They don't
think of me as a father.
395
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,968
Yeah, they do, sir.
396
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,419
We all do.
397
00:17:57,186 --> 00:17:58,852
Well, I'll think
about it, Mike.
398
00:17:58,843 --> 00:18:00,675
All right.
399
00:18:03,238 --> 00:18:04,603
(GRUNTING)
400
00:18:09,734 --> 00:18:11,067
Hey, marmaduke.
401
00:18:11,072 --> 00:18:12,804
What are you staring
at, marmaduke?
402
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:16,023
What do you think this is,
20 pounds of juicy meat?
403
00:18:15,944 --> 00:18:18,076
No! Save
some white meat!
404
00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:19,478
(SOUND OF DOG GNAWING)
405
00:18:19,479 --> 00:18:20,645
Ah!
406
00:18:26,262 --> 00:18:27,928
Ok, food's on.
407
00:18:27,918 --> 00:18:30,651
What would you like,
dark meat...
408
00:18:30,594 --> 00:18:32,493
Or bone?
409
00:18:32,472 --> 00:18:34,771
Wait a sec, Mike.
Hello, everyone.
410
00:18:34,733 --> 00:18:37,865
And, um, hello, New York City.
411
00:18:37,791 --> 00:18:39,090
I'm sorry I'm late.
412
00:18:39,097 --> 00:18:40,762
But before we eat,
413
00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:42,717
I'd like to make a little toast.
414
00:18:42,694 --> 00:18:44,460
It's, uh, from a diary
415
00:18:44,447 --> 00:18:47,745
from the first Thanksgiving
in 1621.
416
00:18:47,662 --> 00:18:49,861
"And although it be
not always so plentiful
417
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,360
"as it was at this time
with us,
418
00:18:52,312 --> 00:18:55,978
"yet by the goodness of God
419
00:18:55,879 --> 00:18:58,178
"we are so far from want
420
00:18:58,140 --> 00:18:59,739
"that we often wish you
421
00:18:59,732 --> 00:19:02,797
partakers of our plenty."
422
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:08,509
You couldn't have written
something yourself?
423
00:19:11,515 --> 00:19:13,047
Ha ha ha ha.
424
00:19:13,044 --> 00:19:14,776
Happy Thanksgiving, dad.
425
00:19:14,763 --> 00:19:16,695
Randall.
426
00:19:16,674 --> 00:19:17,873
Happy Thanksgiving,
sir.
427
00:19:17,885 --> 00:19:19,150
Mike.
428
00:19:21,514 --> 00:19:24,680
You know,
after a hearty meal,
429
00:19:24,604 --> 00:19:26,970
I like to unwind with
430
00:19:26,928 --> 00:19:28,160
a snifter of cognac
431
00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:29,303
from Mel's fine liquors
432
00:19:29,316 --> 00:19:30,548
in midtown.
433
00:19:30,558 --> 00:19:32,524
And remember his promise,
434
00:19:32,501 --> 00:19:35,167
if Mel's lyin', he's buyin'.
435
00:19:36,577 --> 00:19:38,843
DIRECTOR:
Ok, and credits.
436
00:19:38,807 --> 00:19:40,105
Stuart kissed me.
437
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,678
And you liked it.
No!
438
00:19:41,673 --> 00:19:43,438
(EVERYONE ARGUING)
439
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:53,670
Now, that's a Thanksgiving
dinner I can really relate to.
440
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:54,582
He's got my vote.
441
00:19:54,602 --> 00:19:56,101
Mine, too.
442
00:19:56,099 --> 00:19:59,164
So you think the Yankees have any
shot at repeating next year?
443
00:19:59,092 --> 00:20:01,724
I don't know.
I don't follow baseball.
444
00:20:13,774 --> 00:20:17,706
All right, Stuart. To know
if my feelings were real,
445
00:20:17,595 --> 00:20:21,194
we have to re-create
the exact same situation.
446
00:20:21,097 --> 00:20:23,330
(EXCITEDLY)
Oh.
447
00:20:23,296 --> 00:20:26,360
All right, stud,
let me see what you got.
448
00:20:26,288 --> 00:20:28,088
(STUART SIGHS)
449
00:20:31,192 --> 00:20:34,391
Oh! I like that.
450
00:20:34,313 --> 00:20:35,846
Oh!
451
00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:41,809
But...
452
00:20:41,828 --> 00:20:42,861
But nothing!
453
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,313
If you liked it,
454
00:20:44,314 --> 00:20:47,413
you liked it!
455
00:20:47,338 --> 00:20:50,071
Ha ha ha ha ha!
456
00:20:52,146 --> 00:20:54,680
You... Liked it!
457
00:21:53,134 --> 00:21:54,600
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
458
00:21:54,601 --> 00:21:55,800
(BARKING)
459
00:21:55,801 --> 00:21:56,867
Moo.
460
00:21:56,917 --> 00:22:01,467
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