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1
00:00:00,625 --> 00:00:02,391
So, Carter,
what do you think of
2
00:00:02,373 --> 00:00:03,972
this guy
Nikki's dating?
3
00:00:03,964 --> 00:00:06,363
Arthur? He's nice.
Smart. Handsome.
4
00:00:06,316 --> 00:00:07,716
Yeah. I don't
like him, either.
5
00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:09,481
Sorry, Mike. I'm out
of the loop on this one.
6
00:00:09,465 --> 00:00:10,464
Oh, yeah?
7
00:00:10,482 --> 00:00:12,114
"To Carter,
from Nikki.
8
00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:14,469
"After the movie,
Arthur walked me home
9
00:00:14,424 --> 00:00:16,623
and we kissed... parenthesis... no
tongue... end parenthesis.
10
00:00:16,587 --> 00:00:18,653
Smiley face."
11
00:00:18,622 --> 00:00:20,654
Nice, Mike.
Reading my e-mail?
12
00:00:20,624 --> 00:00:22,123
How'd you get my password?
13
00:00:22,119 --> 00:00:23,852
Third try, actually.
14
00:00:23,836 --> 00:00:24,902
Barbara.
15
00:00:26,571 --> 00:00:27,770
Judy.
16
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,662
Liza.
17
00:00:31,913 --> 00:00:33,512
I know it's cliche,
but...
18
00:00:33,502 --> 00:00:35,068
God help me,
she's fabulous.
19
00:00:36,714 --> 00:00:39,113
Is that a rose?
20
00:00:39,067 --> 00:00:41,932
Well, they've only
been out on 3 dates.
21
00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:45,549
(WHISPERING)
It's not too late yet.
22
00:00:45,521 --> 00:00:47,721
Hey, uh, Nikki.
23
00:00:47,684 --> 00:00:49,250
Happy 4-day
anniversary.
24
00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:52,174
Ohhh. You're so sweet.
25
00:00:53,884 --> 00:00:55,317
(AHEM)
26
00:00:55,315 --> 00:00:56,381
Dropped one.
27
00:01:22,388 --> 00:01:24,754
You know, thanks for
letting me stay with you guys
28
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,143
while my apartment's
being fumigated.
29
00:01:26,142 --> 00:01:28,007
Well, we're really
looking forward to it.
30
00:01:27,986 --> 00:01:29,818
Yeah. Got you
a welcome gift.
31
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,096
Bath towel.
32
00:01:32,787 --> 00:01:34,586
Hey pauly, I don't want
any details released
33
00:01:34,568 --> 00:01:36,500
concerning the location
of that new city dump,
34
00:01:36,475 --> 00:01:38,773
so at the press conference,
just play dumb, all right?
35
00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:39,931
Huh?
36
00:01:41,276 --> 00:01:43,674
Yeah, that's good.
37
00:01:43,629 --> 00:01:45,661
You know, bring it
down a notch.
38
00:01:46,968 --> 00:01:48,399
Hey, Nikki, uh...
39
00:01:48,398 --> 00:01:49,898
Guess who got
reservations
40
00:01:49,894 --> 00:01:51,859
for 2 at
LA bernadin tonight?
41
00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:54,031
Oh, wow, that's
such a coincidence,
42
00:01:53,995 --> 00:01:55,560
because Arthur's
taking me there tonight.
43
00:01:55,552 --> 00:01:57,484
Who are you going with?
44
00:01:57,460 --> 00:01:59,026
James.
45
00:02:00,799 --> 00:02:02,198
Yes!
46
00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:04,612
Yes, that's
right, James.
47
00:02:04,614 --> 00:02:06,546
You've been doing such
a good job lately,
48
00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:08,788
I thought I'd just surprise
you with a nice...
49
00:02:08,748 --> 00:02:10,747
$400 dinner.
50
00:02:10,719 --> 00:02:12,685
Can I order appetizers
and everything?
51
00:02:12,659 --> 00:02:13,725
No.
52
00:02:15,043 --> 00:02:18,743
But you do have to wear
that dress I bought you.
53
00:02:21,339 --> 00:02:23,238
Mike, you ready for our visit
to the children's hospital?
54
00:02:23,215 --> 00:02:24,747
Yes, sir. Ready
to show the city
55
00:02:24,742 --> 00:02:26,141
that compassionate
side of yours.
56
00:02:26,141 --> 00:02:28,707
Just, sir, please,
no incidents this year.
57
00:02:28,653 --> 00:02:32,019
Mike, I only gave a kid
a hershey bar.
58
00:02:31,928 --> 00:02:34,027
Sir, it was
the diabetic ward.
59
00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:36,452
We have time for
one more question.
60
00:02:36,443 --> 00:02:37,908
Yes?
61
00:02:37,905 --> 00:02:40,138
New guy.
62
00:02:40,099 --> 00:02:42,465
Have you picked the
location for the city dump?
63
00:02:42,421 --> 00:02:45,286
Excellent question.
Thanks for coming.
64
00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:49,496
Hey, pal.
65
00:02:50,847 --> 00:02:52,346
What's your problem?
66
00:02:52,342 --> 00:02:53,674
Oh, you mean back there?
67
00:02:53,677 --> 00:02:55,609
Oh, I was just
kidding around.
68
00:02:55,585 --> 00:02:57,017
I like to haze
the new guys,
69
00:02:57,016 --> 00:02:58,581
but just so you know,
70
00:02:58,574 --> 00:03:01,040
when I leave the press room,
there's no following me.
71
00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:02,090
It's the protocol.
72
00:03:02,103 --> 00:03:03,335
Well, you know what?
73
00:03:03,343 --> 00:03:05,142
There's a new protocol.
74
00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:07,656
From now on,
you answer every...
75
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:10,569
question... I... Ask.
76
00:03:12,310 --> 00:03:15,643
Am I to understand that
you're stealing my apple?
77
00:03:15,553 --> 00:03:16,619
Very good.
78
00:03:19,018 --> 00:03:20,818
You're not as dumb
as you look.
79
00:03:24,774 --> 00:03:26,173
Thank you.
80
00:03:35,222 --> 00:03:36,555
Hey.
81
00:03:36,558 --> 00:03:38,391
Uh, sir, this is
Derek Evans.
82
00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:39,903
He comes in
once a month
83
00:03:39,896 --> 00:03:41,495
until they find him
a kidney donor.
84
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:43,253
Hi, Derek. Why don't
you come visit me
85
00:03:43,235 --> 00:03:45,801
at city hall some time?
Would you like that?
86
00:03:47,273 --> 00:03:49,172
Hey! It's
jayson Williams.
87
00:03:49,149 --> 00:03:51,082
You're my favorite
basketball player.
88
00:03:51,057 --> 00:03:52,789
Mr. mayor.
89
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,506
Still losing some hair
up there, huh, Flaherty?
90
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,944
Hey, Derek.
What's happening?
91
00:03:57,894 --> 00:03:59,960
I just stopped by
to let you know
92
00:03:59,929 --> 00:04:01,727
I'm gonna grab 20
rebounds for you tonight.
93
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:02,742
Cool.
94
00:04:02,759 --> 00:04:04,024
He's just exploiting
the situation
95
00:04:04,029 --> 00:04:05,596
to boost his own image.
96
00:04:05,589 --> 00:04:06,887
Yes. It's embarrassing.
97
00:04:06,891 --> 00:04:08,458
Derek...
98
00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:11,282
I'm naming
a street after ya.
99
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:13,383
All right.
My own street?
100
00:04:13,346 --> 00:04:15,779
Nobody upstages
you, sir.
101
00:04:15,732 --> 00:04:18,165
Wow! It's Jeff Gordon.
102
00:04:18,115 --> 00:04:21,181
You're my favorite
race car driver.
103
00:04:21,104 --> 00:04:22,838
Good to see you, Derek.
How are you?
104
00:04:22,823 --> 00:04:24,755
Why you're throwing around
the word "favorite," Derek,
105
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,028
why don't you tell
these reporters
106
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,132
who your favorite
mayor is?
107
00:04:27,147 --> 00:04:28,911
I liked koch.
108
00:04:30,359 --> 00:04:31,890
Derek, I just
came by to tell you
109
00:04:31,884 --> 00:04:33,350
I'm gonna win my
next race for ya.
110
00:04:33,346 --> 00:04:36,578
Wow. Mr. Williams said he's
gonna get 20 rebounds.
111
00:04:36,494 --> 00:04:38,426
Don't forget the street.
112
00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,668
Yeah, whatever.
113
00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:43,527
Did I say 20 rebounds?
I meant 30 rebounds,
114
00:04:43,459 --> 00:04:45,624
and I'm gonna pull 'em
all down with one hand.
115
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:48,154
Really? Well, in
my next victory lap,
116
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,600
I'm driving backwards
with no hands.
117
00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:52,482
We're losing, Mike,
we're losing.
118
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,290
(UNDER HIS BREATH) Give
him the key to the city.
119
00:04:54,270 --> 00:04:55,601
What?
Key to the city.
120
00:04:55,604 --> 00:04:59,403
I'm going to give
this boy my kidney.
121
00:04:59,292 --> 00:05:00,291
I'm out.
122
00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,643
Too rich for
my blood.
123
00:05:09,373 --> 00:05:11,305
Carter, I think
your freak dog
124
00:05:11,281 --> 00:05:13,679
is trying to
kill himself again.
125
00:05:13,632 --> 00:05:16,399
He just threw himself
in the bathtub.
126
00:05:16,336 --> 00:05:18,568
Rags loves the water.
127
00:05:18,530 --> 00:05:21,429
He had my hair dryer
in his mouth.
128
00:05:22,537 --> 00:05:24,502
I think he's
a little depressed,
129
00:05:24,476 --> 00:05:27,508
'cause tomorrow
he's turning 150.
130
00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:30,231
So, how do I look?
131
00:05:30,168 --> 00:05:31,300
Smokin'.
132
00:05:31,313 --> 00:05:34,811
Shake it, work it, do it
133
00:05:34,713 --> 00:05:36,479
Ok. Ew.
134
00:05:38,529 --> 00:05:40,163
Hey, where are you
guys going tonight?
135
00:05:40,152 --> 00:05:41,084
The palladium?
136
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:42,337
The palladium?
137
00:05:42,345 --> 00:05:44,411
Come on, they
tore that down.
138
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:46,679
But my mom, she used
to love that place.
139
00:05:48,069 --> 00:05:50,501
(CHUCKLING)
140
00:05:50,454 --> 00:05:52,386
Smooth move, old man.
141
00:05:52,361 --> 00:05:53,793
When she comes back,
142
00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:56,358
you can invite her to
the invention of fire.
143
00:05:56,304 --> 00:05:58,603
I am not old.
144
00:05:58,562 --> 00:06:01,628
Oh, I forgot. Age is a sore
point with you people.
145
00:06:01,550 --> 00:06:04,349
What people, Stuart? Black people?
Gay people?
146
00:06:04,285 --> 00:06:06,284
No. Old people.
147
00:06:13,061 --> 00:06:15,893
Couldn't I just
disappear for a while?
148
00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:18,592
Maybe the feds
could hide me.
149
00:06:18,530 --> 00:06:21,796
Sir, they don't have a
kidney protection program.
150
00:06:22,918 --> 00:06:25,784
Mr. mayor, the nurse is
here for a blood sample.
151
00:06:25,715 --> 00:06:28,048
Mike, I don't like needles.
152
00:06:28,005 --> 00:06:29,938
Maybe we can do this
the old-fashioned way, Mike.
153
00:06:29,913 --> 00:06:31,679
Punch me in the nose.
Janelle, get a cup.
154
00:06:34,205 --> 00:06:35,638
Sir, would it
help you
155
00:06:35,636 --> 00:06:37,569
if a friend
did this with you?
156
00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:38,677
Well, it might.
157
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,721
Janelle, push up
your sleeves.
158
00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:42,458
Push up my salary.
159
00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:47,117
Never mind,
I'll do it.
160
00:06:47,084 --> 00:06:49,516
(MOCKING)
"Push up my salary."
161
00:06:49,468 --> 00:06:52,033
Exactly what are my odds
of being a match, Mike?
162
00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:54,613
I'm telling you, they're
like 1 in 100,000.
163
00:06:54,556 --> 00:06:57,089
I'll tell you what.
You pick a number
164
00:06:57,036 --> 00:06:58,602
between
1 and 100,000.
165
00:06:58,593 --> 00:07:01,759
Ok, 77,248.
166
00:07:03,363 --> 00:07:05,296
See, that's just uncanny.
167
00:07:31,825 --> 00:07:33,424
Hey, guys.
168
00:07:33,415 --> 00:07:35,247
Do you have any idea
what time it is?
169
00:07:35,228 --> 00:07:36,927
Yeah. What's it to you?
170
00:07:36,913 --> 00:07:39,711
You take the bass out of
your voice, young woman.
171
00:07:40,950 --> 00:07:42,816
Yeah, we've heard
just about enough.
172
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,893
Stacy, you go
straight to my room.
173
00:07:46,516 --> 00:07:47,547
No?
174
00:07:47,564 --> 00:07:49,429
It was worth a shot.
175
00:07:49,408 --> 00:07:52,607
Well, excuse me,
fuddy and duddy.
176
00:07:52,524 --> 00:07:54,257
I expected this from
him, but from you?
177
00:07:54,242 --> 00:07:56,607
Carter, come on. You should
be out partying with me.
178
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:59,462
Hah! You hear that?
I'd love to.
179
00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:01,258
Great, let's go, 'cause I just
came back to get my whistle.
180
00:08:01,237 --> 00:08:03,336
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
181
00:08:03,304 --> 00:08:04,403
Right now?
182
00:08:04,416 --> 00:08:05,848
Right now! Let's go
shake your rumpa.
183
00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:08,613
Can I pick one of
those up at this hour?
184
00:08:08,550 --> 00:08:10,782
Oh, no, no. I have to change.
I have to change.
185
00:08:10,743 --> 00:08:12,543
Oh, baby, where we're
going, you're overdressed.
186
00:08:12,524 --> 00:08:13,590
Oh!
187
00:08:20,155 --> 00:08:22,421
So, Nikki, how...
188
00:08:22,382 --> 00:08:23,681
How was your dinner?
189
00:08:23,686 --> 00:08:26,251
Arthur is so romantic,
and you know what?
190
00:08:26,197 --> 00:08:27,762
I got a little
bit tipsy.
191
00:08:27,755 --> 00:08:29,687
He didn't even try
to make a move on me.
192
00:08:30,457 --> 00:08:31,923
Gay.
193
00:08:33,765 --> 00:08:35,797
Morning, everyone.
I was in the neighborhood,
194
00:08:35,768 --> 00:08:38,067
and I thought you all might enjoy some
freshly baked almondine croissants.
195
00:08:38,026 --> 00:08:40,958
Almondine croissant.
What a snob.
196
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:43,486
And I also brought
some snickerdoodles.
197
00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:44,863
Snickerdoodles.
198
00:08:46,165 --> 00:08:47,731
What a dork.
199
00:08:59,043 --> 00:09:00,875
(BELL RINGS)
200
00:09:00,855 --> 00:09:02,521
Hey, lassiter.
201
00:09:05,243 --> 00:09:07,675
Hello, butch.
202
00:09:07,628 --> 00:09:09,560
Look, every day
you punch me
203
00:09:09,536 --> 00:09:11,368
and take
my lunch money.
204
00:09:11,348 --> 00:09:13,880
How about today I give
you the lunch money,
205
00:09:13,828 --> 00:09:16,260
and we forget about
the punching?
206
00:09:16,213 --> 00:09:17,445
No.
207
00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:21,973
Now, where do you
want it, lassiter?
208
00:09:21,873 --> 00:09:24,672
Belly, please.
209
00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:28,249
See you, bud.
210
00:09:47,692 --> 00:09:49,658
Thank you,Mr. lassiter.
211
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,664
(CLINKING
GLASS NOISILY)
212
00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:55,341
I'm nervous, Mike.
213
00:09:55,323 --> 00:09:56,755
Really?
214
00:09:56,754 --> 00:09:59,320
(CLINK CLINK CLINK CLINK CLINK)
215
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,564
So, you're not
making a toast?
216
00:10:01,523 --> 00:10:04,455
You know what, sir? You know
what I find relaxes me?
217
00:10:04,385 --> 00:10:05,817
If I lie down,
stretch out,
218
00:10:05,816 --> 00:10:07,515
and take a couple
deep breaths.
219
00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:08,800
I'm fine, I'm fine.
220
00:10:08,805 --> 00:10:10,770
I just...
I don't understand why
221
00:10:10,745 --> 00:10:12,710
we're not there with them.
222
00:10:12,684 --> 00:10:15,850
Unfortunately, mayor
Winston is not a match.
223
00:10:15,768 --> 00:10:17,401
Whoo! Boo-yeah!
224
00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:22,067
However, onthe positive side,
225
00:10:22,032 --> 00:10:24,464
deputy mayorMichael Flaherty
226
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:26,483
is a perfect match.
227
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,671
Mike?
228
00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:34,910
Mike?
229
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:36,976
I'm down here, sir.
230
00:10:46,162 --> 00:10:47,428
Jayson Williamspulls down
231
00:10:47,436 --> 00:10:50,401
43 boards forthe nets last night.
232
00:10:50,329 --> 00:10:53,328
Offensive, defensive...hey, at halftime,
233
00:10:53,255 --> 00:10:56,187
he even rebounded froma bad relationship.
234
00:10:56,116 --> 00:10:59,348
But the real all-star isthat young deputy mayor...
235
00:10:59,264 --> 00:11:01,528
you remember him,out of Fordham law...
236
00:11:01,489 --> 00:11:05,655
Michael "somebody send up a flare-ety,
I'm giving my kidney away."
237
00:11:05,527 --> 00:11:07,626
I wish I had a nickname.
238
00:11:11,855 --> 00:11:12,920
You do, James.
239
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,871
Just not one people
say to your face.
240
00:11:21,521 --> 00:11:23,320
Come on, Mike.
It's just a kidney.
241
00:11:23,301 --> 00:11:24,867
You got a spare.
242
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,770
What? I'm just trying
to make you laugh.
243
00:11:30,743 --> 00:11:33,375
Oh, yeah.
Organ removal.
244
00:11:34,622 --> 00:11:36,187
(LAUGHS WEAKLY)
245
00:11:38,343 --> 00:11:39,508
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
246
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,731
Mike, we saw you on TV.
247
00:11:42,729 --> 00:11:44,296
You know what?
Not now, ok, Arthur?
248
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,720
I'm dealing with
something here,
249
00:11:45,719 --> 00:11:48,018
and I don't have
time for small talk.
250
00:11:47,977 --> 00:11:51,208
ARTHUR: I want to donate
my kidney to that boy.
251
00:11:51,124 --> 00:11:54,156
How about this weather, huh?
Isn't it amazing?
252
00:11:57,992 --> 00:11:59,891
Hey! Guess what?
253
00:11:59,868 --> 00:12:01,833
We're on the list
at jet lounge tonight.
254
00:12:01,807 --> 00:12:03,274
You up for hanging out?
255
00:12:03,271 --> 00:12:04,836
Hey, anyone
can hang out.
256
00:12:04,828 --> 00:12:06,593
I want to
par-tay
257
00:12:06,577 --> 00:12:08,010
Yeah.
258
00:12:08,009 --> 00:12:09,874
Go Carter, guys dig
you, go Carter...
259
00:12:12,587 --> 00:12:13,853
Oh, God.
260
00:12:15,449 --> 00:12:17,648
All right, that's it.
I'm facing my past.
261
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,410
I'm taking back my turf.
262
00:12:19,392 --> 00:12:20,890
Good for you, Paul.
263
00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:22,251
Shh. I'm using an alias.
264
00:12:22,253 --> 00:12:25,452
Call me Ivan finkle.
265
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:28,035
The next time that bully tries
to give you any trouble,
266
00:12:27,976 --> 00:12:29,709
you just do this.
267
00:12:31,442 --> 00:12:32,741
It's called the crane.
268
00:12:32,745 --> 00:12:34,544
There is no
defense for this.
269
00:12:35,799 --> 00:12:36,864
(GIGGLING)
270
00:12:38,373 --> 00:12:40,139
You know, Paul,
if you'd like,
271
00:12:40,123 --> 00:12:42,222
I could teach you some
basic kickboxing.
272
00:12:42,189 --> 00:12:44,222
Ok, janelle, that might
be fine in the gym,
273
00:12:44,192 --> 00:12:47,058
but you don't have time for those
fancy moves out on the street.
274
00:12:48,961 --> 00:12:50,794
That would have hurt.
275
00:12:51,823 --> 00:12:53,389
Real bad.
276
00:12:55,798 --> 00:12:58,530
You can't tickle
the crane.
277
00:12:58,469 --> 00:12:59,935
Sure you can.
278
00:12:59,931 --> 00:13:01,997
Just cut a hole
in your pocket.
279
00:13:05,783 --> 00:13:07,715
Look, Arthur.
280
00:13:07,690 --> 00:13:09,455
You're probably
not even a match.
281
00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:11,005
He has "o" positive blood.
282
00:13:10,997 --> 00:13:12,996
That makes me
a universal donor.
283
00:13:12,968 --> 00:13:15,901
Oh, you are just so
perfect, aren't you?
284
00:13:17,006 --> 00:13:18,105
You know, Nikki,
285
00:13:18,119 --> 00:13:20,118
they'll remove
the organ for him.
286
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:22,357
You don't have to suck
it out of his mouth.
287
00:13:24,129 --> 00:13:28,695
Anyway, I don't need your
kidney handouts, ok?
288
00:13:28,549 --> 00:13:30,114
I wanna do this.
289
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,876
Ohhh...
290
00:13:32,873 --> 00:13:34,839
Oh, Mike,
that's wonderful.
291
00:13:38,628 --> 00:13:39,927
I'll go tell
everybody the news.
292
00:13:39,932 --> 00:13:41,631
Yeah, tell
everybody the news.
293
00:13:41,618 --> 00:13:43,417
Tell 'em all.
Mikey's doing it.
294
00:13:46,037 --> 00:13:48,069
You come waltzing
in here, you know,
295
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,106
and you make
this noble gesture
296
00:13:50,075 --> 00:13:52,008
so that everybody thinks
you're Mr. wonderful,
297
00:13:51,983 --> 00:13:54,282
when you and I both know the
only reason you're doing this
298
00:13:54,241 --> 00:13:55,940
is to score points
with Nikki.
299
00:13:55,926 --> 00:13:57,358
Actually, if
someone hadn't done
300
00:13:57,357 --> 00:13:59,156
the same thing
for my brother
301
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:00,936
when he was a boy,
I'd be an only child.
302
00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:01,984
Why are you doing it?
303
00:14:03,303 --> 00:14:06,235
Uh...
304
00:14:06,164 --> 00:14:08,397
It's Nikki, isn't it?
You're crazy about her.
305
00:14:08,358 --> 00:14:10,490
Maybe.
306
00:14:10,457 --> 00:14:12,389
But... but, unlike you,
307
00:14:12,365 --> 00:14:14,431
I keep my feelings
to myself.
308
00:14:17,866 --> 00:14:20,532
It... it's called
being a man.
309
00:14:21,554 --> 00:14:23,486
Look, I know your type.
Nice guy, but...
310
00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:26,760
Obsessed with his work and
can't deal with his feelings
311
00:14:26,672 --> 00:14:29,272
so you make a lot
of snide remarks
312
00:14:29,217 --> 00:14:30,983
about other people
under your breath.
313
00:14:30,966 --> 00:14:34,032
(UNDER HIS BREATH) You just
think you know everything.
314
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,180
(IN SINGSONG VOICE)
Car-ter.
315
00:14:44,145 --> 00:14:46,579
Car-ter.
316
00:14:46,531 --> 00:14:48,464
Come on.
317
00:14:48,439 --> 00:14:51,004
Woo-woo-woo.
318
00:14:50,951 --> 00:14:53,750
Come on, Carter. I know
you're a little drunk,
319
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,118
but, come on,
go in the bedroom
320
00:14:55,116 --> 00:14:56,948
so I can crash
on the couch.
321
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:59,594
I'm comfy here.
You take the bedroom.
322
00:15:01,570 --> 00:15:03,970
Fine. I'll wake you
when it's time for work.
323
00:15:06,563 --> 00:15:07,629
Carter!
324
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,620
Carter!
325
00:15:10,602 --> 00:15:13,601
Come on.
Time for work.
326
00:15:15,403 --> 00:15:17,035
You're not
hungover, are you?
327
00:15:17,024 --> 00:15:18,689
No. No,
of course not.
328
00:15:20,934 --> 00:15:23,367
I'm still drunk.
329
00:15:27,422 --> 00:15:28,554
(MOANING)
330
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:33,413
I just want to throw
myself out the window.
331
00:15:35,593 --> 00:15:37,325
Do it.
332
00:15:42,747 --> 00:15:44,680
And, for
the love of God,
333
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:46,621
take me with you.
334
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,033
Doc,
this operation...
335
00:15:55,957 --> 00:15:57,089
It won't hurt,
will it?
336
00:15:57,101 --> 00:15:58,834
You shouldn't
feel anything.
337
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:01,806
"Shouldn't?"
338
00:16:01,807 --> 00:16:03,107
You mean "won't",
right?
339
00:16:03,111 --> 00:16:04,677
Definitely will not.
340
00:16:04,669 --> 00:16:05,802
Yes.
341
00:16:05,813 --> 00:16:07,546
Most likely will not.
342
00:16:09,089 --> 00:16:10,755
Nikki, Nikki,
I don't trust this guy.
343
00:16:10,742 --> 00:16:13,440
Get me a pen. I wanna
draw where my kidney is.
344
00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:15,181
No... no... no... no... no.
It's gonna be ok.
345
00:16:15,162 --> 00:16:16,962
It's gonna be ok.
Calm down.
346
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,374
Besides, you look sexy.
347
00:16:18,373 --> 00:16:20,739
Really?
348
00:16:20,695 --> 00:16:22,193
Yeah, I gotta tell ya,
you know what?
349
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,121
It really...
it blows me away
350
00:16:24,097 --> 00:16:26,430
to see you doing something
like this for somebody else.
351
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,718
Well, that someone else
is very special.
352
00:16:31,188 --> 00:16:34,320
Mike, what
are you doing?
353
00:16:34,239 --> 00:16:36,471
Oh, you know what? This
is just like you, Mike.
354
00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:38,000
I get a boyfriend,
355
00:16:37,992 --> 00:16:40,290
suddenly you notice
I'm alive.
356
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,348
This thing with Arthur
feels real to me.
357
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:46,303
And you, you're afraid
to even get in the game.
358
00:16:55,511 --> 00:16:57,276
Am I in the game now?
359
00:16:58,468 --> 00:17:01,934
Well, you're too good
to keep on the bench.
360
00:17:04,542 --> 00:17:06,974
Oh, no, Mike.
I can't do this.
361
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,460
I have a boyfriend.
362
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,419
God, that sounds good.
363
00:17:13,382 --> 00:17:15,947
Look, Mike, I'm sorry.
364
00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:17,892
You had your chance.
365
00:17:23,111 --> 00:17:25,177
Lassiter.
366
00:17:25,146 --> 00:17:28,578
There he is, Paul.
Here's your chance.
367
00:17:28,485 --> 00:17:31,651
I'm ready, sensei.
368
00:17:31,569 --> 00:17:34,768
Hey, I wanted to apologize
for the other day.
369
00:17:34,685 --> 00:17:36,484
I'm going through
this divorce,
370
00:17:36,465 --> 00:17:38,398
and I just quit smoking...
371
00:17:38,373 --> 00:17:40,939
Well, anyway, I bought
you a little something
372
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,350
just to say I'm sorry.
373
00:17:43,302 --> 00:17:45,234
Where do you
want it, lassiter?
374
00:17:45,209 --> 00:17:46,808
Where do you
want it, lassiter?
375
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:47,965
Where do you want it?
376
00:17:47,976 --> 00:17:49,775
How about in the belly?
377
00:17:53,827 --> 00:17:56,525
Mama said knock you out.
378
00:17:58,405 --> 00:17:59,338
What?
379
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:00,792
What? What?
380
00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:01,856
What?
381
00:18:03,174 --> 00:18:05,840
The anesthesia should kick
in in a couple minutes.
382
00:18:05,782 --> 00:18:07,348
We're gonna start
your drip now.
383
00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:08,840
Drip?
384
00:18:08,835 --> 00:18:10,901
Sounds a little stingy.
385
00:18:12,173 --> 00:18:14,972
How about
a steady pour?
386
00:18:14,908 --> 00:18:18,207
They're ready for you
in pre-op, Mr. Flaherty.
387
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:19,985
All right.
Let's get it on.
388
00:18:19,964 --> 00:18:21,296
Good luck, Mike.
389
00:18:21,299 --> 00:18:22,464
Go get 'em, son. Yay, Mike.
Go get 'em, Mike.
390
00:18:24,511 --> 00:18:26,043
Wait!
391
00:18:26,036 --> 00:18:28,669
There's no way
I'm doing this!
392
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:31,919
Mr. Flaherty...
393
00:18:31,919 --> 00:18:35,251
get away from my kidney or
I will sue you, you quack.
394
00:18:35,162 --> 00:18:36,495
Looks like they need me.
395
00:18:36,498 --> 00:18:38,497
I'll do it, doctor.
Shave me down.
396
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,169
Excuse me.
397
00:18:43,144 --> 00:18:44,543
The boy's Uncle
has been located
398
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:47,475
and is willing to
donate his kidney.
399
00:18:47,405 --> 00:18:49,070
But let me tell you.
400
00:18:49,058 --> 00:18:52,257
That was the single
greatest act of bravery
401
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,173
I have ever seen.
402
00:18:54,145 --> 00:18:55,811
Arthur!
403
00:18:55,798 --> 00:18:57,197
(ALL CHEERING)
404
00:18:57,197 --> 00:18:59,863
I, for one, want to buy this
man a beer, huh? Let's go!
405
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,870
(ALL CHANTING)
Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!
406
00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:05,830
Wait a minute!
No, wait!
407
00:19:05,814 --> 00:19:07,947
Wait, I'll do it!
I'll do it!
408
00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:09,478
Shave me down!
409
00:19:10,647 --> 00:19:12,579
Ohh.
410
00:19:12,555 --> 00:19:13,987
Whoa.
411
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,052
Oooh.
412
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,820
This anesthesia's
starting to kick in.
413
00:19:18,755 --> 00:19:20,187
Better turn it down.
414
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,928
(THINKING)
Ok, can't move.
415
00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:27,476
Call for help.
416
00:19:30,330 --> 00:19:33,762
Ok. Can't move
includes lips.
417
00:19:35,449 --> 00:19:36,548
Mike.
418
00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:39,161
I just had to come back
in here and say this.
419
00:19:39,105 --> 00:19:41,871
If you think
what you and I have
420
00:19:41,808 --> 00:19:43,774
is worth taking
a chance on, I'm in.
421
00:19:43,748 --> 00:19:46,214
Ok? But I just have to
hear you say it.
422
00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:50,907
(THINKING) Yes. Yes. Definitely.
I'm in! I'm in!
423
00:19:50,870 --> 00:19:51,836
It's totally worth it.
424
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:53,155
Nothing?
425
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,726
All right. Morse code.
426
00:19:54,717 --> 00:19:57,783
Use all your strength.
Blink "yes."
427
00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:03,126
Good-bye, Mike.
428
00:20:05,973 --> 00:20:08,939
Aw. Could this day
get any worse?
429
00:20:08,868 --> 00:20:10,967
Ok, Mr. flanahan.
430
00:20:10,935 --> 00:20:13,099
Looks like it's time
for your barium enema.
431
00:20:17,896 --> 00:20:20,363
Let's just
pump this baby up.
432
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:28,257
Carter, you coming?
Big rave downtown.
433
00:20:28,198 --> 00:20:29,965
I am right behind you.
434
00:20:29,948 --> 00:20:31,313
Hey. Ha ha.
435
00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:32,448
Ho ho.
436
00:20:35,449 --> 00:20:36,382
You're not going?
437
00:20:37,865 --> 00:20:39,697
Ha ha ha ha.
438
00:20:39,677 --> 00:20:41,043
What?
439
00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:44,632
(OLD MAN'S VOICE)
Ok, Carter.
440
00:20:44,605 --> 00:20:46,404
I'm gonna go
to the kitchen,
441
00:20:46,386 --> 00:20:50,152
and I'm gonna grab us
a box of prunes.
442
00:20:50,043 --> 00:20:51,977
I'll be back
in an hour.
443
00:20:53,095 --> 00:20:56,161
Shut up!
I can't hear matlock.
444
00:21:56,709 --> 00:21:58,075
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
445
00:21:58,076 --> 00:21:59,275
(BARKING)
446
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,342
Moo.
447
00:22:00,392 --> 00:22:04,942
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