All language subtitles for Spin City s03e08 Quest For Fire.eng

Hey, Paul, I checked the
etiquette handbook on this one.

Having all your friends
lug your furniture

up 4 flights of stairs
to your new apartment

is not, technically,
a housewarming party.

How can I thank you guys?

I mean, 8 solid,
sweaty hours of moving.

How can I ever repay you?

Will this be
all together?

No, no, no.
Separate checks.

Hey, James. You got
that 10 bucks you owe me?

Sure. Here you go.

I'm sorry I let go
of that armoire.

That thing
would have gone

all the way down to the
bottom of the stairs

if James hadn't reached out
and stopped it with his face.

Hey, James. You got
that 10 bucks you owe me?

Sure.

Well, Paul,
your new apartment

confirms your status as
the cheapest man alive.

I didn't take that apartment
because of the price.

I wanted to move
to Harlem.

I happen to appreciate
its rich cultural heritage.

Paul, tell me one thing
about Harlem's rich

cultural heritage
that you appreciate.

The globetrotters.

Finally, the olympic
torch will be

arriving here tomorrow
on its way to Sydney.

Sidney?

Why does Sidney
get the torch, Mike?

He gets everything.

Sydney, Australia,
James.

Not Sidney
in accounting.

Ok, then.

A Nigerian delegation will hand
the torch off to the mayor,

who will then run
a ceremonial lap

around city hall
carrying the flame.

Stuart, you will run a
ceremonial lap around city hall

carrying a fire
extinguisher.

Mike, why don't you just
tell us this tomorrow?

Because tomorrow I am
going to be on vacation,

as you all know
perfectly well.

Oh, poppycock.

Mike, that
means nonsense

when translated
from the gay.

He's right, Mike.

I've never even seen
you take a day off.

You worked last Christmas.

I wasn't
the only one here.

There was also
Murray Goldstein...

And, of course,
Sidney in accounting.

Hey, Mike.

Hey, sir. You all ready
for your run tomorrow?

I don't know, Mike.

Pulled my groin
this morning.

Oh, no.

Yeah. Felt so good,
I pulled it again.

I've been killing
with that all day.

Isn't Mike just the cutest,

the way he opens his letters?

Oh, yeah. I get all woozy

whenever I see
the mail cart coming.

So, what's with you?

I can't take it anymore.

Mike this, Mike that,
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.

It's like Chinese
Mike torture.

Fine, I won't
mention Mike again.

Thank you.

From now on I'll
call him Arthur.

As in king Arthur
of Camelot.

Oh, that'll be
much less annoying.

Ohhhhhh.

When I was a little girl,
I used to dream that

I was gwenevere and
my big pillow was Arthur.

Oh, yeah. I used to
play the same game.

Except my pillow
was gwenevere

and I was sir humpalot.

Watch it. Arthur
is sacred to me.

Who's Arthur?

Nikki's new boyfriend.

That's it, suckers.
I'm on vacation.

Hey, Mike. Did you hear
Nikki's got a new boyfriend?

Really?

No... no kidding,
that's, uh...

That's great, Nikki.
I'm happy for you.

Thanks.

What's he do?

Yeah. What's he do?

He, uh...

Makes swords.

I wouldn't think
there'd be

much call for
that anymore.

What with the
invention of the gun.

Hey, you know what?

Why don't we have
dinner together?

How about tomorrow night?

Can you make reservations
for us at the landmark?

Sure, Mike.

Get ya a nice,
round table.

Carter, janelle.
My peeps.

What did he
call us?

I just wanted
to tell you guys

how much I love it
up in Harlem.

I just didn't want to
say it around... them.

Who's them, Paul?

You know...

White people.

Ohhhh. Them.

Hey, janelle.
You know you and Paul

only live a few blocks
from each other.

You two should do
things together.

You know, it's true.

I mean, we could hang,
you know, in the hood.

In fact, maybe we could
share cabs to work.

Oh, yeah. Maybe now
I can actually get one.

I tell ya,
I love it up there.

I mean, you have the
restaurants and the shops...

and the music. Well, I've
always loved the black music.

Paul, 2 weeks ago
you thought

puffy combs was
a breakfast cereal.

Well, that was then,
girlfriend.

Morning, guys.

Morning.

James?

I owe you $10, don't I?

This is gonna be heaven.

A whole week
without the boss.

Hey, good morning,
everybody.

Welcome to day one
of my vacation.

Mike, the Nigerian delegation
is here with the torch.

Ah... ah... ah.
I'm on vacation.

I'll take care of it.

I can't believe
they'd let

a live flame
into city hall.

I mean,
other than Carter.

This is just sad.

You mean sad in
a kind of cool way, right?

No. Sad in a star trek
convention kind of way.

(IMITATING CAPTAIN KIRK) Mike.
You need to explore new worlds.

To investigate
new experiences.

To boldly go away from the
office for at least...

One day.

You can do that
impression that well,

and I'm the sad one.

Wakim is the speed walking
champion of our country.

Fi fun mayor yin ni je
nkan nla, gbogbo aralu.

I got "fun mayor."

He says presenting the mayor
with the olympic torch

is a great honor
for him

and his entire
village.

You know, I consider
myself quite the Walker.

I could blow the doors
off this guy.

Now we'll be entering
the rotunda,

which was built by mayor
fiorello LA guardia in 1941.

This way. Come on, people.
We're walking here.

Let's go.
We're walking.

Walking?

Mike, the parameters within
which you've defined yourself

are all work-oriented, leaving
little or no opportunity

for you to grow through
normal social interaction.

English, please.

Get a life.

Well, we're a little testy
today, aren't we, doc?

Having troubles at home
with Mrs. shrink?

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Look, Mike,
why don't we try

a little word
association, ok?

Corral.

I'm sorry,
I thought we started.

Look, I don't think
you can decipher

complex human behavior
by playing a little...

home.
Work.

Damn.

Fun.
Office.

Office.

What? Did they call?

And you honestly
don't think you have

an abnormal attachment
to your job?

No, I don't.

Why do you have a picture
of city hall on your wall?

Did anybody see
a half-naked man

speed walk through
here with a torch?

Not today.

Mike's gonna kill me.

Wait here.
I'll be right back.

Carter.

We've got to
do something.

Paul's out
of control.

Janelle, Paul
is just trying

to assimilate into
his new community.

Don't you think you're
overreacting a little?

Hey, everybody.

Hey, I almost
bought that hat.

Boy, wouldn't that have
been embarrassing, huh?

Guess what
I got at lunch.

Upholstered?

Janelle, Claudia and I
got some extra tickets

for this Saturday
night's def comedy jam.

We're gonna be
front row.

Close enough so the comics
can talk to us.

Oh. I've got an ad
on the Internet,

I'm making calls.

How hard is it
to find a single,

attractive,
sword-making Arthur?

I got one.

He works in fashion,
he loves the opera,

and every Friday night he goes
dancing with his buddies.

He sounds gay.

I know.
I said I got one.

Come on. Let us
take you to lunch.

Carter's treat.

No, I gotta
stay here.

All right.

This is hopeless.

(TRUMPETS PLAY)

Hi, I'm Arthur.

Ok, Mike, I'm afraid
our time is up.

I think we made a lot
of progress today.

I hope you're
feeling better.

Ok, go do something fun.

You're right, doc.

I'm not setting foot

in the office
again today.

Nope, no work.

(CHEERING)

They're not making
this easy for me.

All right. We got an
hour to find torch man.

What would Mike do
in this situation?

Mike?

No, no, no.
I'm not even here.

Think, guys. Where
should we look?

First word.

Sounds like...

Shmembassy.

Police chief carney's
on one.

What do we tell him?

Well, tell him if he
ever grabs my ass again,

I'm calling his wife.

All right,
I'm coming in.

Ah-ah.

I'm gonna tell him to put out
an all-points bulletin.

No!

Hi, chief.
Yeah, it's Mike.

Listen, we want to stay
kind of low-key on this,

so just tell
your patrolmen

to keep their eyes
open, all right?

What's he wearing?

He's carrying
a torch.

All right, great.

Stuart, James,
find out where

the tour bus
lets off, all right?

Stacy, get me the
Nigerian consulate

on the phone.

Nice vacation.

Yeah, I'm
enjoying myself.

Mike, you're sitting
in your in box.

This is weird.
You have a problem.

Well, my... my feet have
not touched that floor.

You're wrong, you know.

I don't have a problem.

I'm not crazy.

And I can make
that jump.

Paul, the mayor
wants you to schedule

a press conference
after his torch run.

Word up.

Carter.

If it doesn't stop,

I'm gonna beat this man.

Paul, I know you probably
don't realize it,

but what you're actually
doing is playing into

every offensive ethnic
stereotype in the book.

Just keepin' it real, yo.

Janelle, beat this man.

Paul, you're not black.

No more dashikis,

no more street lingo,

and please, please,

stop talking like
you're Barry white.

(IN LOW VOICE)
Oh, come on, baby.

Next time we do that,
I'm wearing a saddle.

Whoa! Total deja vu.

All right. I bought us a couple of
hours with the Nigerian delegates.

They're in my office watching
reruns of thirtysomething.

Thank God for lifetime.

We're scouring the city
for this guy, sir.

Well, as soon as you find
him, you let me know.

I can be ready at
a moment's notice.

Check out the quads.

Uh, Mike,
the tour bus lets off

at the circle line
boat dock.

Ok, great,
I'm going down there.

Who's coming with me?

I'll take bishop tutu.

Well, he's not
below deck.

He's not at the stern.

I thought I saw
a torch back there,

but it was just some kids
trying to set a pigeon on fire.

What?

Yeah. The thing is,
though,

it must happen
more than we think,

because the other pigeons knew
exactly how to put him out.

Oh, thank God.

You know what?
He's not here.

So I say we get off
this boat before...

It leaves the dock.

For 2 1/2 hours.

Now what?

Well, we're gonna be
on this tub for a while,

so I say we make
the most of it.

I'm the deputy mayor
of the world!

So I actually don't
make swords per se.

I restore them for
museums and galleries.

Are your eyes
really that blue?

Colored contacts.

I don't care.
I like them.

When your boss
comes by tonight,

I'm your new boyfriend.
I got that down.

But tell me a little
bit about me.

Am I into you?

My friends think
you're obsessed.

Hey, let 'em talk.

You know, I should
probably tell you,

I kind of made you
into a fantasy guy.

You know,
I said you liked music.

I have season tickets
to the met.

Said you're outdoorsy.
Mountain biker.

I also said that you have
a fabulous sense of humor.

So how many dates
have we been on?

Oh, a bunch. You know,
we're not touchy-feely,

but we probably hold hands.

Or, uh, if you had a strand
of hair in your face,

I might push it back
behind your ear?

That would work.

And I bet sometimes,

even though there
are people around,

I can't help giving
you a little kiss.

If you can't help it,
you can't help it.

Well, this is
gonna be really...

(RETCHING SOUNDS)

Is he down there, Paul?

I don't see him, Mike.

Poor guy, he's out
there, he's alone.

He's gotta be scared.

I, too, walk
the earth alone.

Paul, you're a big
white guy in a dashiki.

You're lucky you
walk the earth at all.

All right, take it easy,

I'm down. Stop kicking.

Where could he go,
though, you know?

He's a stranger
in a strange land,

he's one of
the huddled masses.

He's poor,

tired, he's hungry.

MIKE: Paul, do you see
2 torches over there?

This flame was lit
atop mount Olympus

and then run halfway
around the world,

and now it's my
responsibility

to further its journey,
a journey into history.

History in this case being
a brisk walk down the block

where you'll hand it
to Jason brodowski,

the 11-year-old pie-eating
champion of far rockaway.

Well, here I go.

Keeper of the flame
that never dies.

Wakim...

Let's do it.

Ah, screw it.

Stacy, get Nikki
on the phone.

Tell her I can't meet her and
Arthur for dinner tonight.

What?

Mike, you're, uh...

working? Yeah,
I know. I love it.

Daddy's home, boys.

This is hopeless.

Let me give it a shot.

No, no. Listen to the man, Stacy.
There's no...

Mike, you're Arthur.

What?

You're so busy
with work,

you're too stupid
to notice.

Who's the man?

I'm Arthur.

Oh, great.

I was gonna change
my name to Mohammed.

Hey, Nikki.

Hey, Mike.

Listen, I gotta
tell ya, I'm, uh...

Really happy about this
whole Arthur thing.

You know, he's here.

What?

Oh.

Guess "he" is.

I don't wanna screw this up.
I really like this guy.

Well, Nikki, maybe
he likes you, too.

I mean, maybe Arthur

has been in therapy
for a while,

and he's
starting to see

what's really important.

Arthur doesn't seem like
the kind of guy

who would need therapy.

Nikki, look, Arthur may look
perfect on the outside, but...

He's got a lot
of issues.

You know, I was
on a boat today,

and the thought
occurred to me

that you and Arthur might enjoy
a little weekend cruise.

That's sweet.

Thank you.
Thank you, buddy.

I'm Arthur.

Excuse me? What?

Then, uh...

Then who am I?

This cruise goes
to the Bahamas.

That's really generous,
man. Thank you.

Hey, Arthur.

What's an $800 cruise
for a complete stranger?

Bon voyage.

Thanks, Mike.

Must work.

I just wanna say I'm sorry
for the way I've been acting.

It's just, I wanted
to belong, you know?

I understand, Paul, but
the only way to do that

is to stop trying
so hard.

Be yourself.

I promise.

I'm me again.

You can start by
taking off the hat.

Uh-uh.

MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

(BARKING)

Moo.

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