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1
00:00:00,625 --> 00:00:02,257
Hey, turn on the tube.
2
00:00:02,227 --> 00:00:04,192
The mayor's rally is on
from this morning.
3
00:00:04,143 --> 00:00:06,876
She's using wonderful form,and if you notice
4
00:00:06,781 --> 00:00:09,147
that she's doing itin the plie position.
5
00:00:09,074 --> 00:00:10,840
Change it, Stuart.
6
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,301
Not only is she workingher hips, her buns...
7
00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:15,353
I can't, Mike.
8
00:00:15,293 --> 00:00:16,892
You do it.
9
00:00:16,864 --> 00:00:18,796
Give me that.
10
00:00:18,749 --> 00:00:23,315
But it's not enough to have a
far-reaching political agenda!
11
00:00:23,116 --> 00:00:27,914
I'm running for reelectionbecause I love this city!
12
00:00:27,701 --> 00:00:30,334
Watch the master. He's got
something for everyone...
13
00:00:30,246 --> 00:00:31,812
a little handshake,
a look in the eye.
14
00:00:31,784 --> 00:00:33,750
See that?
There you go.
15
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:37,000
Oh, no. Girl in a beret.
No, sir. Oh, no.
16
00:00:36,874 --> 00:00:38,839
No.
17
00:00:42,057 --> 00:00:44,789
Here we go... the baby.
Come on, sir, see the baby.
18
00:00:44,695 --> 00:00:46,628
Scoop up the baby.
It's a routine play.
19
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,212
Scoop up the baby,
step on the bag.
20
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,414
Yes!
(ALL CHEERING)
21
00:00:50,349 --> 00:00:52,949
See that? This guy is good.
He does not slip up.
22
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,598
Take care of this, Mike.
23
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:06,124
Well, at least he didn't bring
back the girl with the beret.
24
00:01:32,064 --> 00:01:36,063
Ok, next. Negotiation with the city's road crews.
They want better benefits.
25
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:39,194
Apparently it's not enough they get
to wear those cool orange vests.
26
00:01:39,068 --> 00:01:40,967
(ALL COOING)
27
00:01:40,921 --> 00:01:44,120
Yo!
Boss made a funny.
28
00:01:45,476 --> 00:01:47,109
Hi. Hi,
sweetheart.
29
00:01:47,079 --> 00:01:48,678
Isn't he cute?
30
00:01:48,648 --> 00:01:51,313
Yeah. I wonder what
he's thinking right now.
31
00:01:51,224 --> 00:01:54,556
He's wondering why the big guy
is eating his strained peas.
32
00:01:57,412 --> 00:02:00,644
I'm... checking
the temperature.
33
00:02:00,522 --> 00:02:01,721
What a time, huh?
34
00:02:01,716 --> 00:02:04,281
Lying around in a diaper
sleeping 18 hours a day,
35
00:02:04,197 --> 00:02:07,829
and every once in a while, someone
puts a breast in your mouth.
36
00:02:08,846 --> 00:02:11,345
You remember
being a baby?
37
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,264
I was talking
about college.
38
00:02:14,563 --> 00:02:17,228
Hey, any information
on the kid's mother?
39
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,504
Yeah, she's not
a very good one.
40
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,964
The cops say
she just abandoned it.
41
00:02:21,881 --> 00:02:23,880
Janelle, did you
call social services?
42
00:02:23,829 --> 00:02:25,962
I will. No rush.
43
00:02:25,902 --> 00:02:30,235
Oh, great. Can we get someone who doesn't
have a biological clock on this, please?
44
00:02:30,048 --> 00:02:31,481
Oh, I'll take him.
45
00:02:31,462 --> 00:02:33,528
Oh, great. Big Ben.
46
00:02:41,888 --> 00:02:45,854
Social services can't pick up the kid till tomorrow.
I need a baby-sitter.
47
00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:48,322
I'll do it. Great. Oh, you
might as well take my tie.
48
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,633
He's been using it
as a burping rag.
49
00:02:50,558 --> 00:02:52,658
You want me to take that
to the dry cleaners for you?
50
00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:54,299
Well,
that depends, Paulie.
51
00:02:54,265 --> 00:02:56,331
Are you really gonna
take it to the dry cleaners,
52
00:02:56,275 --> 00:03:00,441
or you gonna have Claudia clean it
and then give me a fake invoice?
53
00:03:00,265 --> 00:03:02,097
Never mind.
54
00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:05,447
I thought we were
going dancing tonight.
55
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,284
We can bring the baby.
56
00:03:07,238 --> 00:03:08,804
Oh, that'd be great!
57
00:03:08,777 --> 00:03:11,776
We could take turns posing
as a needy single mother,
58
00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:14,266
'cause guys
really love that.
59
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,479
I-I wanted
to help out Mike, ok?
60
00:03:16,410 --> 00:03:18,776
This crush on Mike
is getting out of control.
61
00:03:18,703 --> 00:03:22,202
Would you please keep it down?
Not everybody knows how I feel.
62
00:03:23,509 --> 00:03:25,408
Mike was just here, huh?
63
00:03:25,362 --> 00:03:26,894
How'd you know that?
64
00:03:26,870 --> 00:03:29,636
Your brights are on.
65
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,897
Nikki, everybody knows.
66
00:03:39,403 --> 00:03:41,336
Look, look,
I love Mike.
67
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:44,721
When it comes to relationships, he
doesn't have the best track record.
68
00:03:44,586 --> 00:03:47,052
I just don't want you to be
another notch in his belt.
69
00:03:46,973 --> 00:03:52,406
Especially when there's so much
room left... on this one.
70
00:03:52,156 --> 00:03:55,355
Listen, I'm sure if I talk to
some of Mike's old girlfriends,
71
00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:57,501
they would have
great things to say about him.
72
00:03:57,434 --> 00:03:58,800
Mike...
73
00:03:58,784 --> 00:04:01,551
Mike... what to say...
What's to say about Mike?
74
00:04:01,455 --> 00:04:04,153
Um... well...
75
00:04:04,062 --> 00:04:07,860
Yeah. Yeah, Mike and I lived
together for, like, 6 months.
76
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:10,038
I have to admit,
I do kind of miss it.
77
00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:12,165
I mean, not Mike,
you know, the apartment.
78
00:04:12,102 --> 00:04:14,201
It was the most
unbelievable apartment...
79
00:04:14,144 --> 00:04:16,377
the hardwood floors,
closets in New York, which...
80
00:04:16,312 --> 00:04:20,110
I mean the view, it was... ah, I
could just go on about that place.
81
00:04:19,956 --> 00:04:22,422
A lot of guys run when they
hear the word "commitment".
82
00:04:22,342 --> 00:04:25,242
Mike can't even
make it to "co... ".
83
00:04:25,138 --> 00:04:28,071
He's a good kisser, though.
Not as good as he thinks he is,
84
00:04:27,965 --> 00:04:29,731
but really good.
85
00:04:29,693 --> 00:04:31,592
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
86
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:41,474
When I was growing up,
there was this golden retriever.
87
00:04:41,385 --> 00:04:43,384
He used to run around town
filling in holes.
88
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:46,032
All he wanted was
a scratch on the tummy.
89
00:04:45,941 --> 00:04:50,339
I tried that with the road crews, sir,
but all I got was one of these...
90
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,124
Well, play hardball, Mike.
91
00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,064
You got it, sir.
92
00:05:00,012 --> 00:05:03,378
Oh, uh, by the way, I'm thinking
of seeing a psychiatrist.
93
00:05:03,248 --> 00:05:05,180
You don't say.
94
00:05:06,672 --> 00:05:09,837
I have, uh... issues, Mike.
95
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:13,005
Well, sir,
isn't there another...
96
00:05:12,953 --> 00:05:15,587
Healthy way to deal
with your problems?
97
00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:18,364
Have you considered
overeating?
98
00:05:18,263 --> 00:05:20,661
It's-it's just that
sexually, uh...
99
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,352
Is this gonna make me
uncomfortable?
100
00:05:22,314 --> 00:05:24,847
No, no, no, no.
Don't be silly. Now...
101
00:05:24,765 --> 00:05:28,530
As you recall... the last time
I had sexual intercourse
102
00:05:28,377 --> 00:05:30,476
was with your mother.
103
00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:38,668
Actually, sir, that...
that had slipped my mind.
104
00:05:38,522 --> 00:05:41,954
Really? 'Cause you would think something like...
That's sarcasm, sir.
105
00:05:41,820 --> 00:05:43,819
Oh, of course.
Well, listen. Um...
106
00:05:43,768 --> 00:05:47,133
Anyway, last weekend...
107
00:05:47,003 --> 00:05:50,235
I ran into Sara Briggs,
my old high school flame.
108
00:05:50,113 --> 00:05:52,212
We went out, Mike.
109
00:05:52,155 --> 00:05:54,954
Dinner, dancing,
then back to her hotel room.
110
00:05:54,856 --> 00:05:57,489
But when
the moment came, um,
111
00:05:57,401 --> 00:05:59,566
I... I... I couldn't, uh...
112
00:06:00,636 --> 00:06:04,035
Ah, hell. I need
to talk to a professional.
113
00:06:03,902 --> 00:06:07,901
Sir, yo... you're...
you're a public official.
114
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:11,301
Couldn't you just, you know,
tell me what happened?
115
00:06:13,703 --> 00:06:16,036
Well, you know the guy
that comes around
116
00:06:15,964 --> 00:06:18,163
in the ice cream truck?
117
00:06:18,101 --> 00:06:20,100
Yeah, sure, Mr. soft...
118
00:06:24,823 --> 00:06:26,822
I'll set something up.
119
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,865
Hey, Nikki,
what are you doing?
120
00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:38,742
I think he said his
first word. He said "da".
121
00:06:38,637 --> 00:06:40,869
He said "da"?
122
00:06:40,804 --> 00:06:44,103
He said the Russian
word for "yes"?
123
00:06:43,976 --> 00:06:46,676
He was trying to say "dada".
I think he was asking for you.
124
00:06:46,584 --> 00:06:48,616
Get outta...
get outta here.
125
00:06:48,563 --> 00:06:51,329
Hey, how ya doing?
How ya doing?
126
00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:52,565
Say it again.
127
00:06:52,553 --> 00:06:54,751
Say it again.
No rush, no pressure.
128
00:06:54,688 --> 00:06:56,887
Say it now!
129
00:06:56,824 --> 00:06:59,956
He'll... he'll say it
again eventually. Here.
130
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:03,172
Well, look. I'll...
I'll warm up his bottle.
131
00:07:03,044 --> 00:07:04,709
Can you hang out
for a while?
132
00:07:04,677 --> 00:07:07,776
Um... yeah,
yeah, I guess so.
133
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,693
(WHISPERS) Yes!
134
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,539
Cool. This'll be fun.
135
00:07:11,494 --> 00:07:13,326
I bet you never
even changed a diaper.
136
00:07:13,284 --> 00:07:15,716
Are you kidding me?
I had single working mom.
137
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,972
Changed my own diaper.
138
00:07:18,781 --> 00:07:20,680
Here we go.
139
00:07:20,633 --> 00:07:22,032
Oh, there's
no way that's ready.
140
00:07:22,016 --> 00:07:24,382
I nuked it.
I know what I'm doing.
141
00:07:24,309 --> 00:07:27,175
Ah? Ah?
142
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,338
Ah!
(CRYING)
143
00:07:28,329 --> 00:07:30,562
Oh, oh, ooh!
All right, hey, hey.
144
00:07:30,496 --> 00:07:32,595
It's ok,
it's ok. It's ok.
145
00:07:32,538 --> 00:07:34,604
It's just a
second-degree burn.
146
00:07:34,549 --> 00:07:39,148
I'll give you your milk as
soon as it stops... bubbling.
147
00:07:38,946 --> 00:07:40,945
All right?
148
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:44,293
All right. Shh. Let me give you
a little fatherly advice, ok?
149
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:47,293
In life...
150
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,041
It's good
to be a doctor.
151
00:07:48,998 --> 00:07:51,497
Unless, of course,
you're playing doctor,
152
00:07:51,416 --> 00:07:54,782
then it's good
to be the patient.
153
00:07:54,652 --> 00:07:58,284
(COOING VOICE) Yes, it is.
It's good to be the patient.
154
00:07:59,574 --> 00:08:02,739
(GROANS) I was, uh,
m... married for 22 years.
155
00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:05,652
I raised a child, Meg. Hmm.
156
00:08:05,541 --> 00:08:07,674
She's in college now.
157
00:08:07,615 --> 00:08:10,914
And yet I don't feel like
I've ever really been...
158
00:08:10,788 --> 00:08:13,020
Intimate with a woman.
159
00:08:17,227 --> 00:08:19,560
It's all very
interesting, sir,
160
00:08:19,488 --> 00:08:22,654
but I'm not really sure
why you're telling me this.
161
00:08:24,866 --> 00:08:27,198
I was married
for 22 years.
162
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:34,535
I raised a child, Meg.
163
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,379
She's in college now.
164
00:08:39,096 --> 00:08:42,528
And yet...
I don't feel I've ever...
165
00:08:42,394 --> 00:08:45,193
Really been
intimate with a woman.
166
00:08:46,948 --> 00:08:48,280
Should I lay down?
167
00:08:52,508 --> 00:08:54,040
(PLAYING BLUES)
168
00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:56,749
I'm in my crib
169
00:08:56,654 --> 00:08:59,853
I'm wearing my bib
170
00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:01,632
My baby's orange
171
00:09:03,062 --> 00:09:04,994
I can't rhyme "orange"
172
00:09:04,947 --> 00:09:07,446
Shh.
He's finally asleep.
173
00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:11,865
Yeah, I hope so. I sang 84 consecutive
verses of the baby blues.
174
00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:13,569
You know what's amazing?
175
00:09:13,522 --> 00:09:17,188
How much food goes in and out
of something so small.
176
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,173
It's like
a human clown car.
177
00:09:20,057 --> 00:09:22,156
We should go clean up.
Yeah, yeah.
178
00:09:22,098 --> 00:09:24,764
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Nikki, Nikki... Nikki.
179
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:29,486
You mind just standing here and
staring at him with me for a while?
180
00:09:29,354 --> 00:09:31,553
Yeah, I'm up for that.
181
00:09:31,490 --> 00:09:34,322
It's weird, 'cause I... I... I
don't wanna turn away, 'cause...
182
00:09:34,223 --> 00:09:37,088
I'm afraid
I might miss something.
183
00:09:36,987 --> 00:09:39,286
You are so adorable.
184
00:09:39,217 --> 00:09:41,349
Yes, you are.
185
00:09:42,735 --> 00:09:45,234
He's out like a light.
Yup.
186
00:09:45,154 --> 00:09:47,653
I mean, you could fall
on the floor screaming,
187
00:09:47,572 --> 00:09:50,972
moaning, calling out
my name... he'd never wake up.
188
00:09:54,030 --> 00:09:57,229
Mike... Mike... Mike
and relationships. Uh...
189
00:09:58,051 --> 00:10:00,516
Wow. Um...
190
00:10:00,438 --> 00:10:03,370
Mike and I in a serious,
committed relationship?
191
00:10:03,265 --> 00:10:06,197
No. No,
you gotta be kidding.
192
00:10:06,092 --> 00:10:08,091
It wouldn't happen.
193
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,232
Hey. Sorry. I would've
been here earlier,
194
00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:19,242
but I ran out of diapers.
195
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:21,814
Didn't think I'd need
more than a 40-pack.
196
00:10:21,727 --> 00:10:23,525
Tell you what, though.
In a pinch?
197
00:10:23,485 --> 00:10:26,183
Coffee filter
with the leg holes cut out.
198
00:10:27,537 --> 00:10:30,503
So, uh, what's gonna
happen to the little guy?
199
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,328
He'll probably
bounce around the system
200
00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:35,612
until we can find an adequate
habitational situation for him.
201
00:10:35,484 --> 00:10:37,816
That's like
a home, right?
202
00:10:37,747 --> 00:10:39,712
I'll take him from you now.
Um...
203
00:10:39,663 --> 00:10:41,361
You know what
I can't believe is...
204
00:10:41,327 --> 00:10:43,693
I can't believe someone
would just leave him.
205
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:45,885
Yeah, it's sad.
Now, give him up.
206
00:10:47,044 --> 00:10:49,676
Carter? Run.
207
00:10:49,587 --> 00:10:52,087
Run where?
208
00:10:52,007 --> 00:10:53,340
Way to go, Carter.
209
00:10:53,326 --> 00:10:56,160
Oh, great plan... run.
210
00:10:56,059 --> 00:10:57,825
Don't worry. He'll be fine.
211
00:11:00,142 --> 00:11:02,141
(BABY CRIES)
212
00:11:03,786 --> 00:11:07,286
All right, all right.
Shh. Shh. It's ok. It's ok.
213
00:11:07,148 --> 00:11:09,846
It's... it's ok.
(CRYING STOPS)
214
00:11:09,754 --> 00:11:12,586
All right. There we go.
215
00:11:12,487 --> 00:11:14,486
(CRYING RESUMES)
216
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,252
All right, all right. Shh.
(CRYING STOPS)
217
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,646
(CRYING RESUMES)
All right.
218
00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:25,409
(CRYING STOPS)
219
00:11:26,684 --> 00:11:29,084
I'm adopting this kid.
220
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,465
Mike, you can't adopt a baby. You
don't even know what they eat.
221
00:11:40,331 --> 00:11:42,530
Sure, I do.
Soft food...
222
00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:44,166
Like chili.
223
00:11:44,131 --> 00:11:45,863
Oh!
224
00:11:45,827 --> 00:11:48,360
Sign me up
for chili night.
225
00:11:48,278 --> 00:11:51,375
I have what it takes
to be an excellent father.
226
00:11:51,261 --> 00:11:54,994
I don't think a winning smile
and manageable hair count.
227
00:11:54,843 --> 00:11:56,776
Towel-dried...
228
00:11:56,727 --> 00:11:59,393
Right out of the shower.
229
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,169
Still, that doesn't...
230
00:12:01,125 --> 00:12:02,889
You're kidding.
231
00:12:04,328 --> 00:12:07,993
I have an idea.
Let's play the $20,000 pyramid.
232
00:12:07,846 --> 00:12:10,979
A fern. A cat.
233
00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:13,427
Sea monkeys.
Your neighbor's parrot.
234
00:12:13,344 --> 00:12:16,943
Ding ding ding ding. Things
that have died in my apartment.
235
00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:20,764
Look, you guys, y... you...
236
00:12:22,139 --> 00:12:24,138
You don't get it.
237
00:12:24,086 --> 00:12:26,218
All right, may... maybe
this is ridiculous.
238
00:12:26,159 --> 00:12:29,791
Maybe I... never thought
about having a kid until today.
239
00:12:29,646 --> 00:12:31,745
You know, but, uh...
240
00:12:31,688 --> 00:12:35,187
Things happen. Things happen
when you least expect them.
241
00:12:35,049 --> 00:12:38,581
Somebody... didn't
want this little guy...
242
00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:41,975
And I do.
243
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:45,727
Ok, Mike. (CLEARS
THROAT) Then do it.
244
00:12:45,572 --> 00:12:46,671
I hope you get it.
245
00:12:46,671 --> 00:12:49,504
Me too.
They're chick magnets.
246
00:12:54,461 --> 00:12:57,393
There's been a change. I no
longer have a crush on Mike.
247
00:12:57,288 --> 00:12:58,687
Well, that's great.
248
00:12:58,670 --> 00:13:02,135
I love him.
I must have him.
249
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,466
So... what are you
hens yapping about?
250
00:13:05,329 --> 00:13:07,529
Just girl talk.
251
00:13:07,466 --> 00:13:10,430
Ooh, tag me in.
I've always wanted to do this.
252
00:13:11,611 --> 00:13:14,177
- I don't know what to do.
- You've gotta do something.
253
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:16,560
You see?
It's this kind of banter
254
00:13:16,481 --> 00:13:19,213
that got me
hooked on the view.
255
00:13:21,666 --> 00:13:23,965
Mike. Well...
256
00:13:23,897 --> 00:13:25,562
Hmm.
257
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:27,262
Hmm.
258
00:13:27,226 --> 00:13:30,358
Don't... don't quite
know where to start.
259
00:13:30,241 --> 00:13:33,240
I... I did want him
to father my child.
260
00:13:33,132 --> 00:13:35,264
But, I mean, I wouldn't...
261
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,571
I wouldn't, like,
date him or something,
262
00:13:37,497 --> 00:13:40,696
you know, like...
Boyfriend and girlfriend thing
263
00:13:40,576 --> 00:13:43,375
or anything like that.
Oh, God.
264
00:13:43,277 --> 00:13:45,842
Oh, no. No.
265
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:49,024
You know the song
cold-hearted snake?
266
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:50,966
That was about Mike.
267
00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:54,776
Um... relationship,
commitment...
268
00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:56,612
I don't know. I don't know.
269
00:13:57,883 --> 00:13:59,649
I don't know.
270
00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:06,401
I got some
talking points here.
271
00:14:06,365 --> 00:14:08,297
I got some things
I need you to say.
272
00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:11,948
Mike loves children. Mike is
stable. Mike is very patient.
273
00:14:11,799 --> 00:14:13,564
Where the hell
is this woman?
274
00:14:13,526 --> 00:14:14,958
(DOOR OPENS)
275
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:16,873
Sorry to keep you waiting.
276
00:14:17,641 --> 00:14:19,840
Mike is very patient.
277
00:14:19,778 --> 00:14:21,276
Check.
278
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,668
So, how does
my application look?
279
00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:25,815
It's adequate.
280
00:14:25,808 --> 00:14:27,740
Stop. You're
making me blush.
281
00:14:28,571 --> 00:14:31,738
Show her the,
uh... nose thing.
282
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,952
Oh, yeah. Hey, hey, hey.
283
00:14:33,882 --> 00:14:35,880
Got your nose.
(CARTER LAUGHS)
284
00:14:38,215 --> 00:14:40,080
(LAUGHTER
CONTINUES)
285
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,533
Ok... just
putting it back now.
286
00:14:47,232 --> 00:14:49,730
So lay it on me, doc.
287
00:14:50,717 --> 00:14:53,449
Ok. Well, I told him
about the divorce
288
00:14:53,356 --> 00:14:57,222
and... and how since then,
you've had trouble making a...
289
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,061
Love connection.
290
00:15:00,297 --> 00:15:02,863
Right. And... and he thought
maybe you should be
291
00:15:02,779 --> 00:15:04,611
dating women
in their twenties.
292
00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:10,988
Excellent.
293
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:17,246
So, did you ask the doctor
about the, uh... Viagra?
294
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,772
At great embarrassment
to myself, sir.
295
00:15:19,678 --> 00:15:21,510
Here's the prescription.
You should know
296
00:15:21,469 --> 00:15:24,568
that taking this drug exposes
you to possible side effects.
297
00:15:24,453 --> 00:15:26,252
You may see things
in blue tint.
298
00:15:26,212 --> 00:15:28,911
Blue's my favorite color.
299
00:15:30,390 --> 00:15:33,489
So, what else
did we talk about?
300
00:15:33,374 --> 00:15:36,306
The doctor thinks
I have an oedipus complex.
301
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:39,233
He feels I suffer from
delusions of grandeur,
302
00:15:39,123 --> 00:15:42,588
and he's accelerated
my sessions to 3 times a week.
303
00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:47,015
Apparently, I pose
some danger to society.
304
00:15:52,758 --> 00:15:55,291
Ok. It says here
you have experience
305
00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:57,441
working with children.
Where was that?
306
00:15:57,375 --> 00:16:01,542
Mike, Stacey stole my snickers
from the freezer again.
307
00:16:02,276 --> 00:16:04,208
Be the bigger
man, Paul.
308
00:16:04,161 --> 00:16:06,659
Ah-ah! I see you wiping
chocolate from your lips!
309
00:16:06,579 --> 00:16:08,645
It's brown
lipstick!
310
00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:12,421
I'm a little concerned that the pressures
of your job might be a problem.
311
00:16:12,265 --> 00:16:15,464
Single workaholics
don't make ideal parents.
312
00:16:15,343 --> 00:16:18,808
Workaholic? Let me share
a little secret with you.
313
00:16:18,672 --> 00:16:22,105
I don't do
squat around here.
314
00:16:21,971 --> 00:16:24,302
He put the "oaf"
in "loaf". Heh.
315
00:16:24,232 --> 00:16:26,231
(WHISPERING)
Oh, God.
316
00:16:28,316 --> 00:16:31,415
Mr. Flaherty, I really
have just one last question.
317
00:16:31,301 --> 00:16:33,233
Why do you
want this baby?
318
00:16:33,185 --> 00:16:35,250
Ok, here's the thing
about Mike. He's, um...
319
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:37,426
He's always looking
for that quick fix,
320
00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:41,129
for the relationship that's
gonna solve all of his problems.
321
00:16:40,976 --> 00:16:43,540
I wonder who's
filling that void now.
322
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:50,073
Sir?
Mm-hmm?
323
00:16:50,021 --> 00:16:51,686
Please don't make me
go back to therapy.
324
00:16:51,654 --> 00:16:54,753
His questions are so deep
and his stare is so piercing,
325
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:58,304
and he made me look at these ink
blots, and so what? I saw a penis.
326
00:16:58,156 --> 00:17:01,955
It was right there, sir, clear as day.
Anyone would have seen it.
327
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,732
Look, James.
(CLEARS THROAT)
328
00:17:03,685 --> 00:17:06,284
You don't have to
go back. (CHUCKLES)
329
00:17:06,197 --> 00:17:09,230
See, I realized the problem
was in me, in my mind.
330
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,585
I had some fear,
but I...
331
00:17:11,507 --> 00:17:14,039
I dug down deep,
and I conquered it!
332
00:17:13,957 --> 00:17:16,789
That's great, sir.
And thank you.
333
00:17:16,690 --> 00:17:18,588
The pleasure's all mine.
334
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,398
I've done your charts.
335
00:17:32,364 --> 00:17:34,363
You are a Taurus.
336
00:17:34,312 --> 00:17:36,044
That's the sign
of the bull.
337
00:17:36,008 --> 00:17:38,573
Mike is a capricorn.
338
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,723
You two
just don't mesh.
339
00:17:40,657 --> 00:17:43,823
Why? What animal
is a capricorn?
340
00:17:44,709 --> 00:17:46,641
The... the dingo.
341
00:17:53,347 --> 00:17:56,413
Wait a minute.
There's no sign of the dingo.
342
00:17:56,301 --> 00:17:59,033
You don't know anything
about astrology, do you?
343
00:17:58,938 --> 00:18:03,004
Hey, I know you shouldn't
mess with your boss's dingo.
344
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:05,066
I... I know this
is right for me.
345
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,566
Really?
346
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:09,173
Yeah. I... I think
I can make it work.
347
00:18:09,085 --> 00:18:11,384
Ok. Then you
have no choice.
348
00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:13,147
Go tell him.
349
00:18:16,277 --> 00:18:18,710
Hey, Stuart.
What sign are you?
350
00:18:20,393 --> 00:18:22,226
Scorpio.
351
00:18:25,262 --> 00:18:27,594
Back in the shed.
Oh!
352
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:41,915
You miss him,
don't ya?
353
00:18:41,845 --> 00:18:44,010
Oh, this is beer.
354
00:18:43,949 --> 00:18:46,548
It's a brilliant design,
really. It keeps air out.
355
00:18:46,461 --> 00:18:49,294
Less belching,
more room for pretzels.
356
00:18:51,142 --> 00:18:52,974
So, Mike...
357
00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:56,216
I came over here
'cause I, uh...
358
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,100
I wanna tell
you something.
359
00:18:58,052 --> 00:19:00,251
This is his blankie.
360
00:19:00,188 --> 00:19:02,221
It's still got
his drool on it.
361
00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:03,999
He loved to drool.
362
00:19:05,466 --> 00:19:06,999
Yeah, you're right.
I miss him.
363
00:19:06,973 --> 00:19:08,672
I know.
364
00:19:08,638 --> 00:19:11,170
I like the idea of settling
down, starting a family.
365
00:19:11,088 --> 00:19:12,554
Me too.
366
00:19:12,533 --> 00:19:16,299
I just need to find the right
person to do it with. Me too.
367
00:19:16,145 --> 00:19:18,911
I don't think I'm ready though.
Me too.
368
00:19:18,816 --> 00:19:20,881
What?
369
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:25,225
Well, it's... I just...
I... keep looking for
370
00:19:25,035 --> 00:19:28,267
other people to fix my problems,
and I gotta work on myself.
371
00:19:28,145 --> 00:19:30,144
Sometimes sex helps.
372
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,985
I've been down that road
far too often.
373
00:19:35,872 --> 00:19:39,038
Besides, even... even
if I met the right person,
374
00:19:38,919 --> 00:19:41,018
I... I'd find a way
to screw it up.
375
00:19:42,688 --> 00:19:44,954
I'm sorry. You wanted
to tell me something?
376
00:19:46,395 --> 00:19:48,027
Oh...
377
00:19:47,996 --> 00:19:49,829
It can wait.
378
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:51,620
All right. Um...
379
00:19:53,116 --> 00:19:55,082
You want
a brewski?
380
00:19:56,353 --> 00:19:58,251
Still cold.
381
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,199
I guess the reason I wanted
to adopt the baby
382
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:15,511
was because I was looking
for something in my life.
383
00:20:20,937 --> 00:20:22,502
Go on.
384
00:20:22,476 --> 00:20:24,742
I mean, I'm
the deputy mayor.
385
00:20:25,586 --> 00:20:28,084
I never even thought
I wanted a family.
386
00:20:29,418 --> 00:20:31,284
This contradicts
387
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,239
everything you've
told me so far.
388
00:20:34,130 --> 00:20:36,529
(WHISPERS) I know.
389
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:53,562
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
390
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:54,794
(BARKING)
391
00:21:54,795 --> 00:21:56,128
Moo.
392
00:21:56,178 --> 00:22:00,728
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