All language subtitles for Spin City s03e04 Theer Hunter.eng

Yes. Way to go, Paulie. You took
that question on school vouchers,

you turned it right back
on that reporter.

That guy was so flustered, he
called me a fathead. (Chuckling)

I don't have
a big head, do I?

I don't know how
to put this, Paulie.

I don't know which I'd rather
have... a million dollars,

or your head
full of nickels.

The point is,
you are the man.

Well, in that case, uh...
On the subject of a raise...

Anybody can get
a raise, Paul.

I'm giving you a raise
with a "p" on the front.

Praise?

Good job, buddy. W-w-wait,
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.

At least, like a... slap on the
ass to show me you mean it.

Yeah.
Wait. No, no.

In the bullpen,
where everybody can see.

Jeez.

So I guess if that's everything,
Mike, I'll just, uh...

I'll just head
back to my office.

Mike?

Way to go, Paulie.

It's a lot firmer
than you think.

Ok, finally, Carter,
Nikki and I are gonna be

out of the office for the day doing
some fund-raising. Stuart...

I need you
to cover for me.

And, Stacey, since
you are my assistant...

Don't say it. Today, you
will be Stuart's assistant.

I wish you would've told me
that before I came in.

Why? So you could've gotten
extra dolled-up for daddy?

I don't understand. Why did you guys
get to do this fund-raising thing?

"Get to"?
Heh, try "have to".

Frankly, James, it's the part
of the job that sickens me.

BOTH: we're goin' golfin'
we're goin' golfin'

Whoo, hoo, hoo!

Last time I went golfing,
I parred 6 holes on the front 9.

- Fell apart in the back.
- Yeah? What happened?

A windmill threw my ball
into the parking lot.

Ok, boys, I've been working
on this guy for months.

He is potentially the biggest
non-corporate donor to the dnc we've got.

If you have questions,
now's the time to ask.

- Carter, how's your short game?
- Who cares?

All I know is...
A black man's gonna be

at one of the most exclusive
country clubs in upstate New York.

And guess what.
I'm not replacing any divots.

Come on, guys, I don't want to be late.
Nolan can be unpredictable.

We're golfing. How
unpredictable can the guy be?

Guess you can get some distance
off the tee with this baby.

Golf's for sissies.

We're goin' deer huntin'.

That's a man's sport.

It certainly
isn't a deer sport.

(BUZZ) Stacey,
come in here a second.

What do you want?

Just wanted
to see if it worked.

Oh, and, uh, as long as you're
getting yourself a cup of coffee,

would you mind
getting me one, too?

I'm not getting
myself coffee.

Let me rephrase that.
Get me a cup of coffee.

And by the way,
I take my coffee...

The way I take my women.

Are you sure you want to pay
75 bucks for a cup of coffee?

Touche.

Now, chop-chop.

I'm gonna kill him.

Stacey, we're assistants.

We decide where they go,
what they do, what they eat.

They don't control our lives,
honey, we control theirs.

STUART: Coffee!

You were saying?

Look, do what I do.

Picture Stuart
as a new puppy.

Is it helping?

Nope. Still trying
to hump my leg.

So, Mr. nolan, I think if you
take a look at our track record,

you'll see that mayor Winston
is the man to support.

The climate for big business in Manhattan
has never been better. Furthermore, our...

whoa there!
Who dropped a quarter in you?

We can
chitchat later.

Right now
it's time for huntin'.

You a big hunter
there, Flaherty?

No, no, no, no.

Although my dad once
bagged 2 deer in one shot.

One shot.
Did he use a rifle?

No, a buick.

(CHUCKLING)

(CACKLING)

A buick!
Ha ha ha ha!

- A buick!
- Ha ha! Well...

Oh, what the hell
are we gonna do?

Well,
I was promised golf.

I have an outfit.

Mike, I have
2 rules in my life.

No guns, no girls.

All right, everybody.
Safety first.

Put on your
orange vests.

Ok, 3 rules.

Well, are we gonna
do this or what?

Yeah, yeah.

You just show me
what to shoot.

(CHUCKLES) It's nice
to know my donation

is going to somebody
I can relate to.

Oh! There ain't
nothin' like money.

Except, of course,
maybe killing.

Here, I brought some elk
urine to mask our scent.

You know what
to do with it.

Just, uh, drop a little
on your jacket.

Make sure you don't
get any on your skin.

I can't believe Mike
didn't give you the raise.

Especially since he said he was grooming
you to be the next deputy mayor.

Please keep it down.

Not everybody's aware
about Mike's plan.

Paul, if we really need the
money, I can help out.

I can get a third job.

No, no, no.
Absolutely not.

No wife of mine
works more than 2 jobs.

Hey, Paul, I have your notes for
today's briefing. Check it out.

James, you're gonna have to cover for me
this afternoon. Doctor's appointment.

I'm not a public speaker...

You'll be wonderful! You can
think on your feet, right?

Say yes, James.

Yes. There you go! You'll be...

see? You'll be perfect. Get outta here!
You'll be wonderful!

They're gonna eat him alive.

That'll teach the mayor
not to give me a raise.

Paul Thomas lassiter,
what are you doing?

I'm sorry, Claudia. When
it comes to our happiness...

Nothing gets in my way.

Oh, Paulie, you're
like a gladiator.

(GIGGLING)
I know.

Hey, bubba,
you got any tobaccy?

Sorry, cletus, I left it in back
of my pickup next to my banjo.

Hey, what say after we
bag us some critters

we go into town and beat the
tar outta some long-hairs?

Hey, bubba, cletus, y'all gonna joke us right
into the poorhouse, so shut the hell up.

Shh! Shh!
First buck at 2:00.

Mike,
you wanna translate?

Well, uh, Carter, if
12:00 is straight ahead,

then 2:00 would be...

That's gonna be
right over...

oh, look at that
pretty animal.

There's nothing more
breathtaking than seeing

one of mother nature's children
in the open in all its beauty.

Who wants
to shoot him?

No, no.

No, no, no. No, no.
Y-y-you go ahead because...

because I went first
at the outhouse.

I insist.
I...

what's the matter, Flaherty? Don't
you have the stones for it?

Did I misread you?

Whoa. Wow. I didn't
even see that one.

We don't usually
shoot babies,

but that is one hell
of a shot! (CACKLING)

STUART: Stacey!
You... here... now!

He is Satan in a crew cut.

No. He's a puppy!

He's a puppy.
He's a puppy.

(SIGHS)
So, Stuart,

I finished typing up these
parking permit plans of yours.

The only thing more boring than my parking
permit plans is you telling me about it.

They're really good.
Really?

Yeah. Great job.

Huh.
Biscuit?

It's a biscotti.

Oh. That's what I said. Huh.

Sit.
Oh.

Here you go.

Thanks.

You know, you have
worked so hard this morning,

I think you owe
yourself a long lunch.

I have put in
a full morning.

Ah!

You're doing such
a great job in Mike's place.

Yes, you are!

I think I will
take a long lunch.

Great. Pick me up
a Caesar salad?

Dressing on the side?
What a sweetie!

Mmm, mmm.

It is a pleasure watching
you shoot, Flaherty.

Yeah.

Just wish we could've
found the little guy.

He-he's probably
fine, though, right?

I mean, he's, you know,
just walking it off.

And sure, he'll have
a scar, a nasty scar,

but... but the other deer
will just think that's cool.

Nope. You got him
right in the haunch.

He ran away,
but he'll soon...

Weaken from
loss of blood.

Then he'll be sitting
out there in the cold,

his life
ebbin' out of him.

Then he'll
call for mama.

"Mama."

"Mama!"

But mama ain't
comin', is she?

I need a drink.

Oh, liquor at lunch!
(CACKLES)

You and I are kindred
spirits, Flaherty.

I got a bottle
right in here.

All right, all right.

"Kindred spirits."
Time to make the deal.

No, no. It's time
to go find the deer.

Carter, you're with me.
Nikki, cover for us.

What?
And say what?

Tell him we got bored
not killing anything.

Doesn't matter.
Come on, Carter.

Shouldn't we wear our oranges?
Oh, forget the oranges.

(GUNSHOT)

Let's orange up.

Help. Help.

We need medical
attention, stat!

I have always
wanted to say that.

My son may look like
a deer to you...

But that doesn't
mean he shouldn't get

the same quality care
as a normal-looking kid.

Now, go.

Uh, excuse me, sir.
You can't...

Yeah, I-I know
what you're thinking,

but, uh...
But that's not a deer.

It-it's a guy
in a deer suit.

I saw it.
It's a deer.

Well, that means I got ed
strapped to the hood of my car.

Don't think of him as a deer. Ok? Think
of him as one of God's creatures.

Think of him as
courtside knick tickets.

I'll do what I can.

There.

Look how nice
your coat looks.

Well, thank you.

My pleasure.

I have
so much to learn.

You're doing great. Just remember,
sometimes you have to be firm.

Stuart, it's time for your meeting
with the transportation board!

Who's chairing, iverson or katz?
Katz.

You know I hate katz.

Now, Stuart!
Ok.

Hey, you have something
on the back of your jacket.

Where?

We have to fill out
these forms.

Um, "blood type."

Deer, Carter.

Deer negative.

Don't you get
snippy with me.

All right,
ask me your questions.

Fine. "Nature of your
relationship to the patient."

Oh, that's easy...
assassin!

Hey, buddy,
I may have shot him,

but you ate his mother!
Oh!

Please, you two.
This is a hospital.

He's right.

Yeah, yeah.

Cannibal.
Baby killer.

Oh, hi, Paul.

Looks like
you got a little sun.

I was at the doctor's.
I wasn't on the roof.

So, uh...

How did James'
press conference go?

If it was a fight,
it would've been stopped.

Well, then I suppose
a $300-a-week raise

wouldn't seem
unreasonable.

Well, on the contrary,

James' display of
incoherent babbling...

James is still
in the room, sir.

...made me appear as cool
as a cucumber. It was great.

In fact, I'm thinking of having James
do my press conferences more often.

How about
200 more a week?

I'm sorry, Paul. You know...
Serious budgetary concerns.

My, uh...
My best offer is $300...

Less than what
you're making right now.

Less? You know what, sir? I'm actually...
I'm ok with my present salary.

No! Too late.
Offer's on the table.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I couldn't
possibly work for less than $100 less.

Well, I'm gonna have
to stick to $300 less.

$200 less!
That's my final offer!

You're
a tough negotiator.

It's nothing personal, sir.
It's just business.

S-sir, did you just
give Paul a pay cut?

No, I was just
kidding around.

Oh. So then you
don't really think

I did that badly at
the press conference.

No, no!
You were great! Heh.

Carter and Nikki are waiting for
the little guy to be discharged.

So, is the deer gonna live? Oh, who cares?
We're all expendable.

You come to work, you do the best you can.
What do ya get? A kick in the teeth.

So, anyway...

I'm telling you,
if that deer hadn't made it,

I would not have been able to get
nolan's voice outta my head.

NOLAN:
Flaherty!

You guys
heard that, right?

You got away without
gettin' your check.

Oh, hey,
Peter, come on.

Today... today was
not about money.

Here's a pen.

Well, what would you do if somebody
gave you a half million dollars?

Ha. I'd kiss him
on the mouth.

I would thank him
and not touch him.

What was that?
It sounded like hooves.

No, that was James.
Uh, James.

We call him
old deer hooves.

Hey, James. Um, show
Mr. nolan what-what you got.

I'm not big on
dancin' men.

James,
you're fired.

Now that was
a hard-nosed decision.

I respect that.

How about
we make it a million?

Paul, you're fired.

Oh, that's just great.

Ok now, one million...

Uh, parks department,
third floor.

Damn.

Here. Try again.

- Ah!
- Ah!

Ha, you got me.

Excuse me!
I'm waiting for a package.

Hey! Hey! Hey!
Come back here!

What's up with him?

He's just
chasing the mailman.

Mike's back. You're not Stuart's assistant anymore.
You have to give him up.

Why? I can take
care of them both.

You know what
you have to do.

What's the matter?

Stuart... I'm not
your assistant anymore.

Oh.

We'll still hang out,
right?

No. Things are gonna have to
go back to the way they were.

Oh. Well, it was really a
pleasure working with you today.

Shake?

And if it's not
asking too much,

could you be my assistant
one last time?

Sure, Stuart. What do
you want me to do?

Me.

Ya! (CHUCKLES)

That kind will
always turn on you.

Let me get this straight. You're
saying it's the money or the deer?

Let's just say
it's a test.

This is a very
large donation.

I want to make sure you
have my interests at heart.

Mike, we can't just allow
him to shoot prancer!

We named him.

What's it gonna be,
Flaherty?

The deer gets killed
and you get a million bucks.

How about 500,000 and we just
slap him around a little?

No dice.

250,
we call him names?

He's just a kid.
That stuff stays with you.

I'm waiting.

All right, little fella.
This is where you get off.

I want you to always
remember who you are.

You're the million
dollar deer.

You guys wanna
say your good-byes?

I already had
my good-bye with the check.

Say good-bye
to Carter. Come on.

Ah, a little life advice.
Let's see. Ah!

If ever there comes a time when you start to
find the boy deer sexier than the girl deer,

just go with it, man,
'cause life's too short.

Here we go.

You're free.

Go on.

Go on.

Come on,
get outta here.

Go, will ya?

(TEARFULLY) I never
liked you anyway! Go!

Get outta here!
(SOBS)

Aw.

Wonderful.

I know, I know.

No one treats
my man that way.

I don't care if
you're mayor of the city.

I am the mayor
of the city.

Don't interrupt me.

Paul deserves that raise,
and you know it.

Done.

Thank you.
(CHUCKLES)

Oh, and...

Paul is very proud.

Really?

Well, if he knew
I was here doing this,

it'd crush him.

Understood.

MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

(BARKING)

Moo.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0