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1
00:00:02,434 --> 00:00:04,601
That's unbelievable.
Danielle just called me.
2
00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:06,167
She canceled
our dinner for tonight.
3
00:00:06,234 --> 00:00:08,434
She claims she had
her wisdom teeth removed.
4
00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:09,968
This is not a lie, Mike.
5
00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:11,901
I just saw her an hour ago.
6
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:15,367
We are talking big cheeks,
numb lips, lotsa drool.
7
00:00:15,434 --> 00:00:17,100
So she's up and around.
8
00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:18,601
Mike.
9
00:00:18,667 --> 00:00:20,200
This is unb-
look at me!
10
00:00:20,267 --> 00:00:23,701
My first Valentine's day
alone in this harsh world.
11
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:26,667
Is it so wrong that I want a
little female companionship?
12
00:00:26,734 --> 00:00:28,601
If you really want, I can
set you up with someone.
13
00:00:28,667 --> 00:00:30,934
Yes, I want.
I want. Yes.
14
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,467
Fine. I'll call Suzanne.
15
00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:35,067
No, no. She does this
twirly thing with her hair
16
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:37,534
that I know would
drive you up the wall.
17
00:00:37,601 --> 00:00:39,801
Maybe Veronica.
Although this being your first date back,
18
00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:41,167
Veronica might be
a bit too aggressive,
19
00:00:41,234 --> 00:00:44,567
you know, sexually speaking.
I've got it!
20
00:00:44,634 --> 00:00:46,234
Katie would be perfect.
21
00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:48,167
She's cute. She's the sweetest
thing you'll ever meet.
22
00:00:48,234 --> 00:00:50,300
Tell me more about Veronica.
23
00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,367
Mike, is it all right
24
00:00:51,434 --> 00:00:53,601
if I come in a little
late tomorrow?
25
00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:56,400
Because tonight I got
plans with Claudia.
26
00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:58,734
We have to sleep in a little.
Know what I mean?
27
00:00:58,801 --> 00:01:01,167
You can come in late...
As long as you promise
28
00:01:01,234 --> 00:01:02,501
not to tell me what you mean.
29
00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:05,834
Wait. Why am I
setting you up?
30
00:01:05,901 --> 00:01:07,167
I don't even have a date yet.
31
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,734
You're always welcome
to join me at the bar.
32
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:12,467
I'll be reenacting my
traditional bad holiday ritual.
33
00:01:12,534 --> 00:01:16,133
It involves a good book and
a big bottle of chianti.
34
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,133
No expectations.
No disappointments.
35
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,467
Forgive me, Stuart, but
when I close my eyes
36
00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:22,667
and try to envision the
perfect Valentine's day,
37
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:26,667
you are usually bound and
gagged in a shed somewhere.
38
00:01:26,734 --> 00:01:28,801
Ooh. (Chuckles]
39
00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,667
You know, Nikki, sometimes
the perfect date
40
00:01:32,734 --> 00:01:33,868
is right under your nose.
41
00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:38,667
You know what?
You're right.
42
00:01:38,734 --> 00:01:40,334
This is not a time for pride.
43
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,167
I need to start calling
old boyfriends.
44
00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:44,667
Well, I am no longer
45
00:01:44,734 --> 00:01:46,467
desperate and alone
this evening.
46
00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:48,934
Spence called.
He wants to see me.
47
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,901
Spence? The guy who
dumped you twice Spence?
48
00:01:51,968 --> 00:01:53,267
I prefer just Spence.
49
00:01:54,434 --> 00:01:56,601
Well, that means
he wants you back.
50
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,434
Come on.
Spence and I are over.
51
00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:02,300
Tonight is merely a friendly little
extension of the olive branch.
52
00:02:02,367 --> 00:02:03,901
Is that a euphemism?
53
00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:11,234
Please. Tonight is totally casual.
In fact,
54
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,634
Mike, if your date
doesn't pan out, stop by.
55
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,701
Spence is bringing
a friend-a woman.
56
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:18,534
Sounds great. Thank you, Carter.
Good plan "b".
57
00:02:18,601 --> 00:02:22,634
Plan "b"? You are going out with a
friend of mine tonight, Buster!
58
00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:24,067
How immature are you?
59
00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:25,467
I'm not immature.
60
00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:27,834
Just in case she's an uggo.
61
00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:43,300
Well, am I...
62
00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:45,868
Glad Nikki thought
of setting us up.
63
00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:50,100
I mean, we just met, and-and
already I'm feeling comfortable.
64
00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:52,534
That's unusual,
because, you know,
65
00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:56,234
sometimes these things
can be pretty awkward.
66
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,234
I can tell within 15 minutes
67
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,801
whether or not I'm gonna
have sex with a guy.
68
00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:06,701
Really?
69
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,133
I, uh...
70
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,300
Have an aunt who can guess
people's favorite colors.
71
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,968
Come on. Everybody's
the same way.
72
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:16,434
At least I have
the guts to admit it.
73
00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:21,200
So... when do
my 15 minutes start?
74
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:23,434
They already did.
75
00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:26,601
I can handle pressure.
I deal with it every day.
76
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,501
Thrive on it.
77
00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,868
14:58...
78
00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:33,767
Uh, can I get
some wine, please?
79
00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:34,834
Hurry!
80
00:04:00,267 --> 00:04:01,501
coming!
81
00:04:05,267 --> 00:04:06,501
coming!
82
00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:24,767
Spence kamer!
83
00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:26,767
How you doin', Carter?
84
00:04:32,801 --> 00:04:34,234
Ok. Got through
that.
85
00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,968
Ha ha. Yeah.
86
00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:37,601
Come on in.
Sit down.
87
00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:40,133
Ohhh...
88
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,234
I miss this couch!
89
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,734
Yeah, well.
90
00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:45,767
You got the stereo.
I got the couch.
91
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,567
I didn't say I want the couch.
92
00:04:48,634 --> 00:04:50,167
I just said I miss the couch.
93
00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:53,033
Uh, white wine ok?
94
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,434
Sure, thanks.
95
00:04:55,501 --> 00:04:57,133
You look great.
96
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,767
Yeah, you, too.
97
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:00,267
I like that goatee.
98
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,868
Yeah, well, they, uh...
99
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,367
Seem pretty hip,
100
00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:05,868
but you get a few stray hairs
growing in the wrong direction,
101
00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:07,868
you start to look
like count chocula!
102
00:05:09,968 --> 00:05:11,667
And that's not good.
103
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:15,267
No.
104
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:19,234
Uh, where's your friend?
Is she coming?
105
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:20,901
I thought you said
she was coming.
106
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:22,434
Not that I'm not
glad to see you.
107
00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:25,000
It's just that-
ahem. I'm babbling.
108
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,300
It's ok, though, actually.
I kinda miss that.
109
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:29,267
I asked her to stop by later.
110
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:30,834
I want to spend some time
alone with you first,
111
00:05:30,901 --> 00:05:31,834
if that's ok.
112
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,501
Oh. Ok.
113
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,100
Whatever.
114
00:05:37,334 --> 00:05:38,267
Boy!
115
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,000
Just relax, ok?
116
00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:46,033
Drink the wine...
117
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,167
Breathe the secondhand smoke...
118
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,968
and think about
the emptiness of your life.
119
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:57,767
Don't you think
that's a little dark?
120
00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,801
Siddown.
121
00:05:59,868 --> 00:06:01,868
Everyone'll wind up
here, eventually.
122
00:06:01,934 --> 00:06:03,200
They always do.
123
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:06,234
No, no. Not Nikki.
She's out with Kevin.
124
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:09,534
She's probably laughing at
his jokes, his stories...
125
00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:10,534
What's he do?
126
00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:11,634
He's a comedian.
127
00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:16,834
You know she'll
fall for the guy,
128
00:06:16,901 --> 00:06:18,000
and I'll get to hear
about it every day
129
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:21,334
until my ears bleed.
I hate this.
130
00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:33,534
Oh, Paul, this is so sexy!
131
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,834
You're telling me.
And watch your feet.
132
00:06:36,901 --> 00:06:38,167
This is gonna be
133
00:06:38,234 --> 00:06:40,000
the best Valentine's day
of your life, darlin'.
134
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,601
And dip.
Ooh!
135
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,267
I'm sorr-
136
00:06:43,334 --> 00:06:45,200
I'm so sorry!
I'm sorry!
137
00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:47,400
Oh! Are you
all right?
138
00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,534
I'm ok.
I'm ok, honey.
139
00:06:49,601 --> 00:06:52,434
I know this isn't
the best place to dance.
140
00:06:52,501 --> 00:06:53,834
It's just...
141
00:06:53,901 --> 00:06:56,334
Well, I wanted
to start our evening
142
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,734
in the room where
our lips first met.
143
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:02,634
Oh, Paul.
Sweep me off my feet right now,
144
00:07:02,701 --> 00:07:05,133
and I'm yours forever.
145
00:07:07,434 --> 00:07:08,367
tango?
146
00:07:09,634 --> 00:07:10,567
Take me.
147
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:18,367
Tonight... cupid's arrow will
strike sharply and precisely.
148
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:19,868
Open!
149
00:07:20,934 --> 00:07:22,734
ooh! Ooh!
150
00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,067
I'm sorry!
151
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,501
Oh, I'm sorry!
152
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,734
I should have taken
out the thorns.
153
00:07:27,801 --> 00:07:29,501
I'm sorry.
154
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:31,901
ah. So...
155
00:07:34,234 --> 00:07:35,400
How'd I do?
156
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:38,801
I'm not gonna have sex
with you tonight.
157
00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:42,834
Well. Then, uh...
158
00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:45,801
I'm not gonna have sex
with you, either.
159
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,934
Good night, Michael Flaherty.
160
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,234
Good night, Veronica...
161
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:56,934
...Veronica.
162
00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:01,067
So I gathered a few thousand
of my closest friends,
163
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,367
and we swarmed
the state legislature.
164
00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:05,934
We got arrested,
but we got results.
165
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,400
Still doing the whole angry
Black man thing, huh?
166
00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,334
Yeah, well, I think
it works for me.
167
00:08:12,133 --> 00:08:15,667
Tried the angry chinese
man thing, but...
168
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:18,334
Couldn't seem to nail it.
169
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,267
Well, the Carter I knew woulda
nailed that chinese man.
170
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:25,267
Or at least bought him
a few drinks.
171
00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:29,334
God, I miss laughing like this.
Yeah, I know.
172
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,434
This is great.
173
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:32,567
Hey!
174
00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:33,667
Uh...
175
00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:36,567
Mike!
176
00:08:36,634 --> 00:08:39,267
Uh... what-what
happened to...
177
00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:40,467
Veronica?
178
00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:41,467
Pff!
179
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:43,734
I dumped her.
180
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,667
Spence kamer, Mike Flaherty.
181
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:47,767
Mike Flaherty.
182
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,467
Hey, uh, Spence.
Hey, Mike.
183
00:08:49,534 --> 00:08:51,634
So, Spence, when's this
mystery woman showing up?
184
00:08:51,701 --> 00:08:54,667
Actually, I asked her
to come by a little later,
185
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,501
because I wanted to talk
to you about something
186
00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:58,133
while we were, uh, alone.
187
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:03,267
that's ok.
I have no secrets from Mike.
188
00:09:04,701 --> 00:09:06,701
We're very close.
189
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,734
Ok. Carter, Melissa and
I are getting married.
190
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,167
To who?
191
00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:15,801
Listen, Carter, I found
out a lot about myself
192
00:09:15,868 --> 00:09:18,634
in the last year, and the
fact is, I'm straight,
193
00:09:18,701 --> 00:09:20,400
and we're getting married.
194
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,634
I came here to ask you
to be my best man.
195
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,667
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.
196
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,000
all right
- let me get this straight.
197
00:09:34,501 --> 00:09:37,601
Lemme cut straight
to the Chase.
198
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,868
I can't stop
saying "straight. "
199
00:09:41,868 --> 00:09:43,200
This uncomfortable for you?
200
00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:44,801
A little bit.
Yeah.
201
00:09:44,868 --> 00:09:46,868
So it's not just me.
No.
202
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,267
Well, we got that straight.
203
00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:52,133
You sure you're all right?
Oh, I'm fine.
204
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,868
I think the bleeding's
almost stopped.
205
00:09:55,133 --> 00:09:56,534
so...
206
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:57,534
Do you trust me?
207
00:09:57,601 --> 00:09:59,033
Forever.
208
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,567
Well, that's good.
209
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,033
Because...
210
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,400
Ooh!
211
00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:06,467
Are you going to interrogate
me until you break my will
212
00:10:06,534 --> 00:10:08,801
and I submit to
your every desire?
213
00:10:08,868 --> 00:10:11,300
No. I just thought
this would be neat.
214
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,934
Now, don't be afraid.
Ok.
215
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,634
This is just phase 2.
216
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:22,000
oh, I know that sound.
217
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:23,901
Phase 3...
218
00:10:23,968 --> 00:10:26,300
Is a carriage ride
around the city.
219
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:29,100
Ooh! Those
are expensive.
220
00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,534
Well... I have a coupon.
221
00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:37,067
Drink.
222
00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:41,434
And now, my darling,
223
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,667
Chase it down with this.
224
00:10:44,934 --> 00:10:47,000
Mmm!
225
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:49,834
What is that taste?
It's very interesting. Mmm.
226
00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:52,000
How could you not know what
a strawberry tastes like?
227
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:57,734
how was I supposed to know she
was allergic to strawberries?
228
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,667
Refresh my memory.
229
00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:02,734
Was phase 3
the romantic carriage ride
230
00:11:02,801 --> 00:11:04,234
or the trip
to the emergency room?
231
00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:07,267
You should have seen her.
232
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,367
Her head swelled up.
Her face turned blue.
233
00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:11,801
She looked like that crazy
girl from Willy wonka.
234
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:15,901
Will you look at Nikki?
235
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:18,300
If I didn't know her,
I'd make a move on her.
236
00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:20,834
But I do know her.
And she knows me.
237
00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:23,267
If you're gonna make a move,
you gotta have an edge.
238
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,801
You can't be normal, James.
239
00:11:26,234 --> 00:11:27,334
Hey, James.
Brought you a beer.
240
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,601
You wanted a light, right?
241
00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:30,567
Yeah, thanks.
Hey, Nikki,
242
00:11:30,634 --> 00:11:32,434
let's sit over at that table.
243
00:11:32,501 --> 00:11:33,534
Why?
244
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,200
Why?
245
00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,267
Why?
246
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:41,234
Paul feels really bad
about Claudia,
247
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,167
and I'd just like
a moment alone
248
00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:44,234
to comfort him.
249
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:47,868
Ok.
250
00:11:52,734 --> 00:11:54,534
I really appreciate
that, Stuart.
251
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:57,801
I really do, because my
relationship with Claudia is-
252
00:11:57,868 --> 00:11:58,968
don't care.
253
00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:03,601
I'll be rational about this.
254
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:05,267
I'm sure this happens
to thousands of people
255
00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:06,834
thousands of times.
256
00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:10,000
You really think so?
257
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,167
I'm sorry.
You-you were starting to talk.
258
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,834
I made him straight, Mike.
259
00:12:20,234 --> 00:12:21,567
I mean, how would you feel
260
00:12:21,634 --> 00:12:22,868
if a woman you were dating
261
00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:25,000
left you to be
with another woman?
262
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:27,300
Just a second.
263
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000
Trying to picture it.
264
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,701
It's not just that
he's moved on.
265
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:35,667
It's that...
Everything about my life
266
00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:37,701
says that I've been
standing still.
267
00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:39,567
He's changed his
sexual orientation.
268
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:42,934
I can't even change the message
on my answering machine!
269
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,467
You are being too hard on yourself.
All right?
270
00:12:45,534 --> 00:12:48,033
You bought
that new bread maker.
271
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,601
Thanks, Mike.
I'll cling to that.
272
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:54,501
Spence knows me better than
anybody else in the world.
273
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:56,501
It probably took him
5 seconds to figure out
274
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,634
I was still waiting for him.
275
00:12:57,701 --> 00:13:00,868
He's gonna come back
feeling sorry for me.
276
00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:02,334
I don't think I can take that.
277
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:04,400
Listen, Carter...
278
00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:06,901
I've been through this.
279
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,634
Well, not exactly this, but...
280
00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:13,634
Something very
similar, and-and-
281
00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:16,701
and I know how painful this can be.
282
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:20,701
If there's anything
I can do for you,
283
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,634
just ask, all right?
284
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:26,734
Even if-even if I can make
tonight a little bit easier.
285
00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:28,133
You know, I-I'm
at your service.
286
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,067
I'm in your corner.
I'm on your team.
287
00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:50,901
Thanks, honey.
288
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:56,868
Isn't this just great?
289
00:13:56,934 --> 00:13:58,534
I mean, I can't believe this.
290
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:01,133
The two of you, the two
of us sitting here,
291
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,667
getting to know each other.
292
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:12,601
Me, too.
293
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,934
Michael?
294
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,067
Isn't this great?
295
00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:22,367
Oh, sure...
296
00:14:22,434 --> 00:14:23,534
Honey.
297
00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:27,000
S- so, Melissa...
298
00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:30,200
how'd you two meet?
299
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:32,834
We worked together
on an ad campaign.
300
00:14:32,901 --> 00:14:35,367
It would have been love at first
sight, but I thought he was gay.
301
00:14:35,434 --> 00:14:36,901
He was!
302
00:14:38,734 --> 00:14:40,701
Does anybody want a beer or...
303
00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,801
I, uh, I'll take
a couple dozen.
304
00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:45,767
I'll help you.
305
00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,868
Oh, I don't know.
Few minutes alone with you,
306
00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:50,100
I might come back straight!
307
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,834
hell, I might come back white!
308
00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,701
James, really,
this is unnecessary.
309
00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:59,000
Ah, yes, but a gesture is romantic
310
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,634
largely because
it is unnecessary.
311
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,400
Think about it.
312
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:16,734
I'd rather not.
313
00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:18,968
James, you're acting
really weird.
314
00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:21,534
Listen, Nikki, uh...
315
00:15:21,601 --> 00:15:24,367
You think you know me,
but you don't.
316
00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:26,267
You only know a...
317
00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:27,734
Office James.
318
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:31,067
Don't get me wrong.
Great guy. Love him.
319
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,334
He's harmless, you know?
320
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,767
He's the kinda guy
you give your keys to
321
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:40,367
if you needed someone
to feed your cats.
322
00:15:40,434 --> 00:15:41,634
You have never met...
323
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,601
...after hours James.
324
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,501
After hours James.
325
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:51,234
Let us just say you don't
give your keys to...
326
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,267
After hours James.
327
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:57,868
You lock your door.
328
00:15:57,934 --> 00:16:00,000
I'm gonna go to the bathroom,
329
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,801
and when I come back,
330
00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,133
I wanna meet
one of two people-
331
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,701
either office James...
332
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:09,434
Or outside hailing a cab James.
333
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:14,334
I'll tell ya, you...
334
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,801
You're a very lucky guy.
335
00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:22,234
Oh, you mean Carter.
336
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:24,868
Lucky.
337
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,133
Lucky me.
338
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:31,400
You know, Mike,
339
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:34,167
you are exactly Carter's type.
340
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,434
Super.
341
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,567
So, Michael,
342
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:42,968
when did you come out?
343
00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:44,234
Uh... huh?
344
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,667
Oh.
345
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:46,901
Forget it.
Don't say anything.
346
00:16:46,968 --> 00:16:49,200
I can tell.
You haven't yet, have you?
347
00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:51,033
Uh, well...
348
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:53,033
Manhattan is...
349
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,834
Such a conservative town.
350
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:03,200
ah. So, Carter,
351
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:05,734
whaddaya say?
352
00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:07,601
Would ya like to be
my best man?
353
00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:10,501
I
- I'd love to, but I'm really busy.
354
00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:13,033
We haven't set a date yet.
We could plan it around your schedule.
355
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:17,400
Busy, busy, busy.
I can barely come up for air.
356
00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:18,968
Tell him.
Tell him, Mike.
357
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,300
Busy as a little bee.
358
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,801
Come on, Carter.
Don't be like this.
359
00:17:28,868 --> 00:17:30,400
Stop pushing me.
360
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,934
You always did that.
It's driving me crazy.
361
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,334
It's not gonna happen, ok?!
362
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,601
Can't you say something to him?
363
00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:43,634
You know what he's like
364
00:17:43,701 --> 00:17:45,167
when he's in one of his moods.
365
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:52,467
My date was a bust.
Thank you, Nikki.
366
00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:54,501
Carter, how'd things
go with Spence?
367
00:17:54,567 --> 00:17:58,200
He's not even my type anymore.
I don't know what I was thinking.
368
00:17:58,267 --> 00:17:59,734
Paul, you and Claudia?
369
00:17:59,801 --> 00:18:01,234
Tried to kill her.
370
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:06,834
Hi, Veronica.
371
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,033
Hi. Look, I been
doing a lot of thinking,
372
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,300
and I decided
I acted badly earlier.
373
00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:14,968
I made a big mistake.
374
00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:18,067
You're a man. I'm a woman.
It's Valentine's day.
375
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:20,501
There's no reason
we shouldn't have sex.
376
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:25,701
Ok. Is this real,
377
00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:28,834
or did someone set this
up to make me crazy?
378
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:34,934
All right, hold on a
minute, all right?
379
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,000
You know, I have feelings.
380
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:39,734
You can't just come waltzing
in here and expect me-
381
00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,567
yes or no?
Yes.
382
00:18:41,634 --> 00:18:43,501
I'll let you say good-bye
to your friends,
383
00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:44,968
and I'll be right back.
384
00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:54,534
Well, who says you don't get
rewarded for good deeds?
385
00:18:56,634 --> 00:18:58,100
Hey, Spence!
386
00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:09,067
Listen, Carter, I couldn't
leave it like that.
387
00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:13,400
Welcome to our table of
romantic failures, Spence.
388
00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:15,567
Yeah. Mike's the only
lucky one here tonight.
389
00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:17,534
Of course.
He's got Carter.
390
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:20,467
Mike and Carter?
Whaddaya mean Mike and cart-
391
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,100
ow! Ow!
392
00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:23,868
Somebody kicked me!
393
00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:26,234
Sorry. Sorry.
I was just uncrossing my legs.
394
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,234
No problem.
395
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,601
Whaddaya mean
Mike and-
396
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:29,601
ow!
397
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,934
Ow! Ow!
398
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,868
Sorry. Me again. Me again.
Just getting crowded there.
399
00:19:34,934 --> 00:19:36,934
Well, please!
I bruise easily.
400
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,234
What-ow!
401
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,834
Ow!
402
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,200
That was me.
403
00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:48,467
I mean, why shouldn't I
get to play?
404
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:54,467
Uh, Spence, Mike and I
haven't told everyone here
405
00:19:54,534 --> 00:19:57,734
that we were
in love... yet.
406
00:19:59,601 --> 00:20:01,734
I can't believe this.
407
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,634
You finally...
408
00:20:04,701 --> 00:20:06,834
Tell me you love me...
409
00:20:08,634 --> 00:20:11,033
...you do it here.
410
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:13,200
So, you wanna get outta here?
411
00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:25,901
Boy, are you barkin'
up the wrong tree.
412
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,334
Then I guess I'll be going.
413
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,000
I'll see you to the door.
414
00:20:36,434 --> 00:20:38,033
Happy Valentine's day, fellas.
415
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,601
You know, I work
with Nikki, too.
416
00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:42,534
You're not Stuart, right?
417
00:20:42,601 --> 00:20:43,601
No.
418
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:50,033
Well, you did the right thing.
419
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,934
Feel better?
420
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,968
No, not really.
421
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:56,834
Wish you were a little
more petty and vindictive?
422
00:20:56,901 --> 00:20:58,634
Yeah, pretty much.
423
00:20:58,701 --> 00:21:00,734
I know how that goes.
424
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,734
I still want him in my life.
425
00:21:02,801 --> 00:21:04,200
So...
426
00:21:05,601 --> 00:21:07,901
This is being gay.
427
00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:12,534
Yeah. This is what
we're fighting for.
428
00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:18,133
As much as I'd like to
hang around and experiment,
429
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,534
I must get back to
the heterosexual world.
430
00:21:20,601 --> 00:21:22,934
Mike, I really
appreciate-
431
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,334
no, don't.
Don't even say it.
432
00:21:26,968 --> 00:21:28,601
You were there for me,
433
00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,667
and whenever you need it,
434
00:21:30,734 --> 00:21:32,067
I'll be there for you.
435
00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:33,133
Good.
436
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,968
Wedding's in June.
437
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:39,300
You're gonna need to get a tux.
438
00:21:44,734 --> 00:21:46,767
Oh, I ruined Valentine's day.
439
00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:48,767
Oh, Paulie,
it's just one night.
440
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:51,234
Besides, it's, what,
only 10 to 12:00.
441
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,200
There's still time
left for romance.
442
00:21:54,267 --> 00:21:55,234
Really?
443
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,400
Yeah.
444
00:21:56,467 --> 00:21:57,667
Why don't you start by
getting me a drink?
445
00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,267
I could use one.
446
00:22:00,901 --> 00:22:01,868
That'll take too long.
447
00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:03,834
Here, take mine.
I'll get a fresh one.
448
00:22:03,901 --> 00:22:06,267
Ok. Thank you,
honey.
449
00:22:06,334 --> 00:22:07,634
Mmm.
450
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,601
I know that taste.
451
00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:11,701
It's a daiquiri.
452
00:22:11,767 --> 00:22:13,667
I'll call an ambulance.
453
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,634
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
454
00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:22,234
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