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1
00:00:03,601 --> 00:00:05,601
I'm downstairs, getting
my morning bagel,
2
00:00:05,667 --> 00:00:08,334
and Jill from accounting
insists on paying for it.
3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,601
I think it's obvious.
4
00:00:09,667 --> 00:00:11,167
She likes you, Mike.
5
00:00:11,234 --> 00:00:13,534
And until you repay the
favor, you're in her debt.
6
00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:16,434
Janelle, fax her
a cheese danish.
7
00:00:16,501 --> 00:00:19,734
Should I fax these people
assorted pastries as well?
8
00:00:19,801 --> 00:00:21,033
Who are these from?
9
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,667
Ha! Every unattached
woman in the building.
10
00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:24,901
Oh! Lemme see.
11
00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:27,467
Oh! Wait a second!
12
00:00:27,534 --> 00:00:30,033
Half these women
told me they were married.
13
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:34,567
This one's roommate
told me she was dead.
14
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:37,968
Mike, you have, like,
30 lunch invites here.
15
00:00:38,033 --> 00:00:39,634
Maria from
the hispanic commission
16
00:00:39,701 --> 00:00:41,868
wants you to try that new
cuban place with her.
17
00:00:41,934 --> 00:00:44,400
Yoko from the japanese
consulate wants to get Sushi.
18
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,968
Lori from the parks department
19
00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:48,667
wants to take you out
for wild game.
20
00:00:48,734 --> 00:00:52,968
Well, as long as Julie from
waste disposal didn't call.
21
00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:54,467
What the hell is going on?
22
00:00:54,534 --> 00:00:56,467
Mike, the word of
your break-up is out.
23
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,601
You're officially
in-play.
24
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,534
I'm not in-play.
25
00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:02,100
I'm on the injured
reserve list-
26
00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:04,100
6 to 8 weeks
with a broken heart.
27
00:01:05,501 --> 00:01:07,133
Women decide whether
you're in-play or not.
28
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,701
You have nothing
to say about it.
29
00:01:08,767 --> 00:01:10,501
I can say
I'm not in-play.
30
00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:12,801
Saying it makes you
even more in-play.
31
00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:16,734
You're right.
That could hurt me.
32
00:01:32,767 --> 00:01:33,901
Don't scream.
It's just me.
33
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,567
Save your
pick-up lines.
34
00:01:35,634 --> 00:01:38,200
Morning, Nikki.
Is she decent?
35
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:40,133
Uh, she's ok.
36
00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:43,901
What are you guys doing here?
37
00:01:43,968 --> 00:01:45,667
Wow. Look
at this place.
38
00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:47,067
The opulence.
It's like a spa.
39
00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:51,100
I could send my mother
here for the winter.
40
00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:52,868
We need to talk about
our problem with Mike,
41
00:01:52,934 --> 00:01:54,467
this seemed like the only
place he wouldn't find us.
42
00:01:54,534 --> 00:01:57,167
He's been working us past
midnight every night this week.
43
00:01:57,234 --> 00:01:59,601
There's no crisis
going on. It's ridiculous.
44
00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:01,133
You would think-
45
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,901
you would think that Mike
would want to go home.
46
00:02:03,968 --> 00:02:06,067
Now that Ashley's gone, he's got
the whole place to himself.
47
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:08,000
He can walk around naked.
48
00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:10,767
He can watch sports center.
He can eat in bed.
49
00:02:10,834 --> 00:02:12,133
And, in your mind,
50
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,734
he's doing all this naked?
51
00:02:16,968 --> 00:02:20,367
Guys, the most important person
in Mike's life just left him.
52
00:02:20,434 --> 00:02:21,901
He's burying himself
in his work.
53
00:02:21,968 --> 00:02:24,968
What more natural way can he
deal with his loneliness?
54
00:02:25,033 --> 00:02:26,400
No, no, no.
I know how Mike feels.
55
00:02:26,467 --> 00:02:28,501
It is hard to go home
to an empty apartment
56
00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:30,300
when you're used to
someone being there.
57
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,234
Who'd you live with, James?
58
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,901
Well, you know...
59
00:02:33,968 --> 00:02:35,133
My parents.
60
00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:40,334
Mike, sorry, but I've gotta
leave early tonight.
61
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,601
He's trying to go
over the wall.
62
00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:43,934
No. My fan club's having
its first meeting tonight,
63
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,267
and they want me there.
64
00:02:45,334 --> 00:02:47,200
Ha! Ha ha!
65
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,801
Lemme see this.
Lemme see this.
66
00:02:49,868 --> 00:02:51,868
Well, it's not
Paul's handwriting.
67
00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:53,734
The postmark looks legitimate.
68
00:02:53,801 --> 00:02:56,167
It's either a stunning forgery,
or there are actually people
69
00:02:56,234 --> 00:03:00,234
willing to give up their free
time to pay homage to Paul.
70
00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:02,200
That's disturbing...
71
00:03:02,267 --> 00:03:04,033
But I'm gonna
have to let you go.
72
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,200
Thank you.
73
00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:08,200
I know. That guy
is a total pig.
74
00:03:08,267 --> 00:03:09,968
I feel like I should wear
a sign across my breasts
75
00:03:10,033 --> 00:03:11,534
that says,
"I'm up here!"
76
00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:15,868
So, you're assuming
he can read.
77
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,667
Nikki, you're just in time.
78
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:19,467
And you, you're late.
79
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,367
Who are you?
80
00:03:22,434 --> 00:03:23,868
Mike, this is
Danielle brinkman.
81
00:03:23,934 --> 00:03:26,634
Oh, that's right.
You're the new assistant d. a.
82
00:03:26,701 --> 00:03:30,133
Michael Flaherty. We went to fordham
together, in the same ethics class.
83
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,701
I cut ethics.
84
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,167
Danielle brinkman!
You're Todd burskey's girlfriend.
85
00:03:39,234 --> 00:03:40,501
How is Todd?
86
00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:43,167
We broke up 8 years ago.
87
00:03:43,234 --> 00:03:45,000
Oh, I'm sorry.
88
00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:47,100
Actually, I'm kind of over it.
89
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,367
Did it take the whole 8 years,
90
00:03:50,434 --> 00:03:52,234
'cause I'm on week one,
91
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,067
and I'm nauseous
all the time...
92
00:03:55,133 --> 00:03:56,901
Anyway, good to see you
93
00:03:56,968 --> 00:03:58,767
mr. Cheated-off-my-
ethics-final-
94
00:03:58,834 --> 00:04:01,033
and-didn't-have-
the-decency-to-thank-me.
95
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,601
We got a "c"!
96
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:07,033
Thanks a lot.
97
00:04:08,634 --> 00:04:11,300
Mike, I hear you've
been burning the midnight oil.
98
00:04:11,367 --> 00:04:12,734
Sir, I've taken the liberty
99
00:04:12,801 --> 00:04:15,167
of working out a long-term
political plan for you.
100
00:04:15,234 --> 00:04:17,968
First off, let me say
how flattered I am
101
00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:20,767
that you even have me
alive in 2060.
102
00:04:22,634 --> 00:04:24,100
Never underestimate
science, sir.
103
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:25,100
Yeah.
104
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,367
Uh, mr. Mayor?
Yeah.
105
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,467
I have a special
favor to ask you.
106
00:04:29,534 --> 00:04:30,567
What's that smell?
107
00:04:30,634 --> 00:04:31,868
That's my cologne.
108
00:04:31,934 --> 00:04:33,801
It's wonderful.
Thank you.
109
00:04:33,868 --> 00:04:35,000
What brand is it?
110
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,067
Seduction.
111
00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:40,534
Hey, Paul, men's fragrances
are on the fourth floor.
112
00:04:40,601 --> 00:04:43,100
This is first floor,
city government.
113
00:04:43,167 --> 00:04:45,300
The favor you wanted to ask?
114
00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:47,701
Sir, there's a meeting
of my fan club tonight.
115
00:04:47,767 --> 00:04:50,567
Paul, well, hey!
You've got a fan club, huh?
116
00:04:50,634 --> 00:04:53,434
Mike, do
I have a fan club?
117
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,133
Oh, yes, you do, sir.
118
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,868
It's called
the city of new York.
119
00:04:56,934 --> 00:04:59,067
Well, if you're not too busy,
120
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,534
it would really be a thrill
121
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,901
if everybody could
come by to meet you.
122
00:05:02,968 --> 00:05:04,300
I'd love to.
123
00:05:04,367 --> 00:05:06,100
Oh! No, I'm sorry,
I can't.
124
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,534
I've got to, um...
125
00:05:07,601 --> 00:05:08,667
Mike, tell him what.
126
00:05:08,734 --> 00:05:11,167
You can't, sir.
He can't because...
127
00:05:11,234 --> 00:05:13,968
You've got the...
You're busy for the next 7 years.
128
00:05:14,033 --> 00:05:17,234
Yeah. See there?
Damn! My hands are tied.
129
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:18,868
Mr. Mayor,
it's your wife.
130
00:05:18,934 --> 00:05:20,100
Yeah. No.
131
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:21,801
Her charity function
was canceled.
132
00:05:21,868 --> 00:05:23,167
Can you meet for dinner?
133
00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:24,501
Ah. Well, um...
134
00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:27,234
Tell her I've already committed
to making an appearance
135
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,167
at Paul's fan club
meeting tonight.
136
00:05:29,234 --> 00:05:31,400
If only she had
caught me earlier.
137
00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:33,300
It's all about timing, sir.
138
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,434
Why do I have to work on this
midnight basketball initiative?
139
00:05:36,501 --> 00:05:38,734
This is minority affairs.
That's Carter's job, not mine.
140
00:05:38,801 --> 00:05:40,934
Been out in the city lately?
You are the minority.
141
00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:44,334
I'm talking here!
142
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,934
Mike, I'd be happy
to do this alone.
143
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,000
Listen up, Bert, Ernie...
144
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,000
I want this presentation first
thing tomorrow morning.
145
00:05:57,801 --> 00:05:59,100
Hey, Mike.
146
00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:00,400
Guess who I ran
into this morning.
147
00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:01,834
Do you remember Joe Reed?
148
00:06:01,901 --> 00:06:03,868
Lived in your freshman dorm?
149
00:06:03,934 --> 00:06:05,701
Huge head, size of a Pumpkin?
150
00:06:05,767 --> 00:06:08,601
Oh, Joe, yeah.
Joe.
151
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,701
He could barely walk upright.
152
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:12,167
What's he doing now?
153
00:06:12,234 --> 00:06:14,100
Couldn't say.
All the time he was talking,
154
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:15,534
I just kept thinking,
155
00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:17,968
"my God, look at the size
of this guy's melon. "
156
00:06:18,033 --> 00:06:20,033
The guy was cranially
challenged.
157
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,601
Let's not get vicious.
158
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:25,133
Oh, really? What was it
you called Joe in college?
159
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,501
Frankenhead.
160
00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:28,601
If you want to talk about
that police thing,
161
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,267
I got 10 minutes right now.
162
00:06:30,334 --> 00:06:32,601
I can't. I'm on my way to court.
This afternoon?
163
00:06:32,667 --> 00:06:33,701
City council.
164
00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:35,734
We really should take care
of this pretty soon.
165
00:06:35,801 --> 00:06:39,167
Besides, I want to catch up on everybody.
Remember Betsy holden?
166
00:06:39,234 --> 00:06:41,067
"2 drinks and I'm yours"?
167
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:43,000
She was my best friend.
168
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,400
I knew that.
169
00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:47,734
I'm kidding.
170
00:06:47,801 --> 00:06:49,667
I knew that.
171
00:06:49,734 --> 00:06:51,133
Listen, I'm free tonight.
172
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,601
We could grab dinner and
take care of all this stuff.
173
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:55,901
Uh... guys, don't we have
a lot of work tonight?
174
00:06:55,968 --> 00:06:58,200
No. No.
No. No.
175
00:06:58,267 --> 00:06:59,701
Nothing that can't wait.
You can go.
176
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,567
Yeah, ok. Why not?
8:00?
177
00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:03,167
Actually, 7:00's
better for him.
178
00:07:03,234 --> 00:07:04,501
I'll make the reservations.
179
00:07:09,033 --> 00:07:09,968
Excuse me.
180
00:07:10,033 --> 00:07:12,667
Oh, hi!
I'm Claudia sacks,
181
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:15,067
president of
the Paul lassiter fan club.
182
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:17,133
Yes, I know.
You do wonderful work, ms. Sacks.
183
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,300
Oh, it's Claudia.
184
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:19,367
Claudia, yes.
185
00:07:19,434 --> 00:07:22,267
well, this is the room.
186
00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:23,934
It's a banquet room.
187
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,901
Actually, it's
a conference room.
188
00:07:25,968 --> 00:07:28,501
Conference/banquet.
189
00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:31,434
Oh, and here's your name tag.
190
00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,300
Ohh!
191
00:07:34,367 --> 00:07:36,868
and, um...
These are your pictures.
192
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:40,567
Here's a sharpie, in case you
want to sign autographs.
193
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:41,667
This is our newsletter.
194
00:07:41,734 --> 00:07:44,467
"Lassiter fun facts"
in 4 different colors.
195
00:07:44,534 --> 00:07:46,868
"Paul won the bronze medal
for public speaking
196
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,234
when he was at st. Mary's
elementary school. "
197
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:51,801
It was a silver medal,
actually.
198
00:07:51,868 --> 00:07:53,434
Oh. Well,
I'll correct that.
199
00:07:53,501 --> 00:07:55,300
No, let it go. Let it go.
That's fine.
200
00:07:56,501 --> 00:07:57,834
So. I, uh...
201
00:07:57,901 --> 00:08:00,133
I guess I'm early, huh?
202
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,234
Actually, um... no.
203
00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:06,667
No?
204
00:08:06,734 --> 00:08:08,334
I just feel horrible.
205
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,400
I mean, you really do have
so many fans out there.
206
00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:14,567
I know. I talk to them
on the Internet.
207
00:08:14,634 --> 00:08:15,767
This is it?
208
00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:17,934
We have such a good time
talking about you,
209
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,100
the way you say,
"next question, please. "
210
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,534
That look you give reporters
when you're upset with them...
211
00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:25,701
Like now.
212
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,767
Mr. Lassiter...
The last thing I wanted to do
213
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:32,334
was embarrass you.
214
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,300
I'm not embarrassed.
215
00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:36,367
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
216
00:08:41,701 --> 00:08:44,467
Hmm. Well, at least there's
no line at the bar.
217
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,667
This is our first
night off in forever.
218
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:51,667
Why do we have to sit around
and drink like college boys?
219
00:08:51,734 --> 00:08:53,701
Why can't we just talk?
220
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,467
So... what's new?
221
00:08:57,534 --> 00:08:58,901
* ta da! **
222
00:08:58,968 --> 00:09:01,467
I call it the Stuart surprise.
223
00:09:01,534 --> 00:09:02,868
What's in it?
224
00:09:02,934 --> 00:09:04,200
No idea. If I knew,
225
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,667
I'd call it the Stuart
I know what's in it.
226
00:09:06,734 --> 00:09:10,000
Well, do you shoot it or what?
227
00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:11,501
Again, no idea.
228
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:16,400
Ugghh!
Aarrrgh!
229
00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:20,734
here. Wash it down
with these!
230
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:26,901
it's delicious!
231
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,100
smooth!
232
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,200
I'm going to the bathroom.
233
00:09:38,734 --> 00:09:41,100
That guy can't hold his liquor.
234
00:09:45,634 --> 00:09:48,067
On the outside.
He sets, he shoots, he pumps...
235
00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:49,501
Nothing but trash.
236
00:09:49,567 --> 00:09:51,501
My house, huh?
Huh?
237
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:54,567
Yeah, I never get tired
of that game.
238
00:09:56,567 --> 00:09:59,634
so, now you wanna play
a little one-on-one.
239
00:09:59,701 --> 00:10:01,334
Maybe after dinner.
240
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,267
I'm sorry. I thought you
were the cleaning Lady.
241
00:10:04,334 --> 00:10:06,267
Oh. You two play
a lot of basketball?
242
00:10:06,334 --> 00:10:08,567
Not so much since she
blew her knee out.
243
00:10:09,968 --> 00:10:11,734
Gimme a couple of seconds, here.
I'll be ready to go.
244
00:10:11,801 --> 00:10:13,901
All right. You know,
245
00:10:13,968 --> 00:10:16,901
this is exactly how I
pictured your office.
246
00:10:16,968 --> 00:10:18,934
Really? With
the, uh... walls
247
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,067
and the door and everything?
248
00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:25,734
what the hell
was that?
249
00:10:25,801 --> 00:10:26,901
That wasn't even funny.
250
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,400
listen to me.
251
00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:34,467
I sound like I'm 16 again.
252
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,567
This feels really familiar.
253
00:10:36,634 --> 00:10:39,434
She's nervous.
There's this weird kind of tension.
254
00:10:39,501 --> 00:10:41,968
Your hands are sweating.
Why are they sweating?
255
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,934
Oh, my God!
This is a date!
256
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,667
Red alert! Red alert!
257
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:51,467
Uh, you know, it's a
little chilly in here.
258
00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,834
Why don't you put that back on?
259
00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:56,234
Everybody out of the building.
This is not a drill.
260
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,601
Oh, are you ready to go?
261
00:10:57,667 --> 00:11:00,434
You know, I can't, because I got this big...
work thing.
262
00:11:00,501 --> 00:11:03,934
The safety of the city
basically depends on it, so...
263
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,767
Don't touch her.
Your hands are slimy.
264
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,734
Oh. Well, we still have to talk
about that police indictment.
265
00:11:09,801 --> 00:11:11,801
And we s-should talk about
that, and we w-will.
266
00:11:11,868 --> 00:11:14,334
I'll call you.
No, I'll write- I'll fax you.
267
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,834
I'll send a carrier pigeon.
268
00:11:15,901 --> 00:11:16,834
See ya.
269
00:11:16,901 --> 00:11:17,834
Yeah, ok.
All right.
270
00:11:20,534 --> 00:11:22,767
That was nicely handled.
Very smooth.
271
00:11:31,534 --> 00:11:32,601
Oh...
272
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,701
Ha ha.
273
00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:54,133
oh, no.
274
00:11:55,868 --> 00:11:57,734
Oh, God!
Ohh!
275
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,167
Oh, my God!
276
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:05,067
I just want to say again
277
00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:07,767
how truly sorry I am
about last night.
278
00:12:07,834 --> 00:12:09,801
I hope you didn't bring
the whole fan club here,
279
00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:11,901
'cause we don't wanna
create a fire hazard.
280
00:12:13,968 --> 00:12:15,400
How did the big party go?
281
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:16,734
Well, I-it-
282
00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:19,434
spill it, Paul.
I bet they made up t-shirts.
283
00:12:19,501 --> 00:12:20,767
You know, I would like to
284
00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:22,734
put Paul lassiter on my chest.
285
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:25,000
Yes, I said chest.
286
00:12:25,067 --> 00:12:26,534
You're like a horny
little chimp.
287
00:12:28,801 --> 00:12:30,234
To be honest with you,
288
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,634
the whole fan club
thing was just, uh-
289
00:12:32,701 --> 00:12:34,100
only about the most fun
I've ever had.
290
00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:36,534
Morning, people.
It was delightful.
291
00:12:36,601 --> 00:12:39,400
I only wish that my supporters
were as loyal as yours.
292
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:42,501
Well, good morning,
ms. President.
293
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:43,767
Mr. Mayor.
294
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:46,734
Don't forget to tell me
about that next meeting.
295
00:12:46,801 --> 00:12:47,734
Mr. Mayor?
296
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,133
Yeah. Mr. Mayor.
Mr. Mayor!
297
00:12:53,534 --> 00:12:55,200
Not a real hugger, Paul.
298
00:12:55,267 --> 00:12:58,467
Don't take away my incentive
to make these little gestures.
299
00:13:01,601 --> 00:13:04,567
Are you sure you don't
remember what happened?
300
00:13:06,334 --> 00:13:08,534
Sorry, Stuart.
It's all a blur.
301
00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:13,701
There might have
been... dancing.
302
00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:18,367
Well, look who
decided to show up.
303
00:13:18,434 --> 00:13:20,033
It's America's favorite couple.
304
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,801
I don't want to hear
any of your excuses.
305
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,834
Your tardiness has put
us way behind schedule,
306
00:13:24,901 --> 00:13:26,701
so why don't you two cozy up,
307
00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:28,934
'cause you're gonna be
spendin' the night together.
308
00:13:30,634 --> 00:13:32,534
It'd be the first time.
309
00:13:36,167 --> 00:13:38,367
Ok, let's get rolling,
310
00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:39,467
'cause we got
a lot of work to do.
311
00:13:39,534 --> 00:13:41,100
Uh, ahem. Mike,
312
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:42,701
we didn't mind spending time
with you when Ashley left,
313
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:44,200
and we know you're hurting,
314
00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:46,400
so we understand why you're
burying yourself in your work,
315
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:48,200
but enough is enough!
316
00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:52,968
We're worried about you, Mike.
317
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,534
I'm healing.
I'll be fine.
318
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,167
No. No, no, no.
319
00:13:56,234 --> 00:13:59,968
Uh... we're worried about what
we're gonna to do you...
320
00:14:00,033 --> 00:14:02,634
If you keep us here
another night.
321
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,601
Sorry I had to
get rough with you, man.
322
00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:14,133
Mike... I was supposed to go have
drinks with some people tonight.
323
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,667
Danielle's gonna be there.
324
00:14:15,734 --> 00:14:17,300
I thought maybe
you'd-
325
00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:18,634
no, no, no, no.
I can't.
326
00:14:18,701 --> 00:14:20,634
No, because Danielle
thinks I'm in-play,
327
00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:23,334
and I can't even get out
of the locker room.
328
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:27,267
She-she's an offensive machine.
She can score at will.
329
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,467
It's baby steps, Mike.
330
00:14:29,534 --> 00:14:31,534
It's time.
331
00:14:32,934 --> 00:14:34,000
Tch! All right.
332
00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:35,968
All right. I'll go.
I'll go.
333
00:14:36,033 --> 00:14:37,634
You guys all take
the night off.
334
00:14:37,701 --> 00:14:39,000
Yeah!
Whoo!
335
00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:40,400
Except you two.
336
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:42,434
I gotta make that
proposal in the morning,
337
00:14:42,501 --> 00:14:45,334
so you two go find a room
and don't come out
338
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,334
till you figure out a way to
make balls bounce at midnight.
339
00:14:56,901 --> 00:14:58,868
So the last time
I saw you in college,
340
00:14:58,934 --> 00:15:00,501
you had your shirt off,
341
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,334
you were drinking beer out of
one of those ridiculous hats,
342
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:06,701
and you were screaming,
"I rule," over and over.
343
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:09,501
Yeah.
344
00:15:09,567 --> 00:15:11,667
How did you ever
become the deputy mayor?
345
00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:15,167
Well, I did the exact same
thing during my interview.
346
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:19,100
Oh, I'm sorry.
You want more peanuts?
347
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,834
Mike, we've already
had 4 bowls.
348
00:15:20,901 --> 00:15:23,367
See, this is part of my
overall apology strategy.
349
00:15:23,434 --> 00:15:25,434
I- I say I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
350
00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:27,567
until you find it
really annoying...
351
00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:29,133
It was a little much.
352
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,300
I'm sorry.
353
00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:32,000
And, uh, and then
354
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:35,434
that's followed by endless bowls
of peanuts until you forgive me.
355
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:36,801
I forgive you.
356
00:15:36,868 --> 00:15:39,067
All right. Then my work here is done.
Hold the nuts.
357
00:15:40,501 --> 00:15:41,968
Well, this is it.
Chairs.
358
00:15:42,033 --> 00:15:43,434
Podium. Painting.
359
00:15:43,501 --> 00:15:45,801
Everything you see on tv
except for the cameras,
360
00:15:45,868 --> 00:15:48,367
which you wouldn't see because
they're the ones filming it.
361
00:15:48,434 --> 00:15:49,367
Wow!
362
00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:52,067
How cool is this?!
363
00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:54,367
Yeah. So impressive.
Paul,
364
00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:57,968
can you stand
behind the podium...
365
00:15:58,033 --> 00:15:59,667
For me?
366
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,400
Ya happy?
367
00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:11,501
I know what
you're trying to do.
368
00:16:12,868 --> 00:16:14,033
Yes, ma'am.
369
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,767
When mr. Mayor
took office,
370
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:18,667
he promised to take
care of the pothole problem,
371
00:16:18,734 --> 00:16:21,934
yet it seems to have
gotten worse.
372
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,934
Well, appearances
can be deceiving,
373
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,434
because this administration
has discovered
374
00:16:26,501 --> 00:16:29,434
that potholes
are a way of combating
375
00:16:29,501 --> 00:16:31,934
another scourge of our city:
376
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,133
Drag racing.
377
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,934
So, one has to ask themself,
378
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:42,167
are potholes a problem,
or do they save lives?
379
00:16:44,601 --> 00:16:46,701
Oh, that was brilliant.
380
00:16:48,534 --> 00:16:51,267
Yes, ma'am?
You in the front?
381
00:16:51,334 --> 00:16:53,067
Mr. Lassiter...
382
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,701
Would you kiss me?
383
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:59,868
Well, I-see, I don't think
we're prepared to answer-
384
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:07,200
there'll be
no further questions.
385
00:17:10,834 --> 00:17:12,901
Is-is part of
your apology plan
386
00:17:12,968 --> 00:17:15,067
to get me really, really drunk?
387
00:17:15,133 --> 00:17:17,467
No. These are for
Nikki and her friends.
388
00:17:17,534 --> 00:17:18,901
Where did they go, anyway?
389
00:17:18,968 --> 00:17:21,100
I thought they were at the bar.
390
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:24,033
Wait. Did I hear them say
something about going to a club?
391
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:25,767
Oh. Yeah.
You wanna go find 'em?
392
00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:28,467
No, no. I'm not
the club kinda guy.
393
00:17:28,534 --> 00:17:30,100
When I wanna shout
in someone's ear,
394
00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:32,400
I'll go visit my grandmother.
395
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,200
Are you all right
that we're alone?
396
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:38,567
You're not about to have a
crisis at the office, are you?
397
00:17:38,634 --> 00:17:42,100
Well, I can't very well do
it now that you said that.
398
00:17:42,167 --> 00:17:45,601
I am just saying that if you
want to call it a night, we can.
399
00:17:45,667 --> 00:17:47,434
No. Hey, come on,
look...
400
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:48,934
I can handle this.
401
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,634
After all, we are two grown up,
402
00:17:51,701 --> 00:17:54,067
professional people
who just happen to be
403
00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:56,567
of the opposite... sex.
404
00:17:56,634 --> 00:17:57,934
I'll tell you what.
405
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,434
We will take all of the
danger out of the situation
406
00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:02,667
by behaving exactly the
opposite of how we would
407
00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:04,234
if this was a date.
408
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,801
I- I don't follow you.
409
00:18:05,868 --> 00:18:07,501
How much money do you make?
410
00:18:08,567 --> 00:18:11,033
Oh, I get it. I see.
411
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,901
I am... unbelievably
shallow.
412
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:18,467
I'm lookin' to have kids...
413
00:18:18,534 --> 00:18:19,467
Soon.
414
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,467
I have never...
415
00:18:23,534 --> 00:18:25,667
Satisfied a woman in bed.
416
00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:30,167
And I have no problem
with that.
417
00:18:31,534 --> 00:18:32,968
Are you ready to order?
418
00:18:33,033 --> 00:18:34,968
Yes. I'll have
the lobster.
419
00:18:35,033 --> 00:18:36,467
Should I really do this?
420
00:18:36,534 --> 00:18:38,133
Oh, definitely.
Why not?
421
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,734
You're payin' for it.
422
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,901
You don't remember anything?
423
00:18:43,968 --> 00:18:45,067
Look...
424
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:47,901
Even if anything
did... go on,
425
00:18:47,968 --> 00:18:50,934
I'm certainly not gonna go
shootin' my mouth off about it.
426
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,267
I got a rep to protect.
427
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,801
And you,
to be perfectly honest,
428
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,300
don't make much
of a trophy. Ok?
429
00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:05,000
So you're ashamed of me?
430
00:19:06,601 --> 00:19:08,267
Nothing happened, ok?
431
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:10,834
We were drunk.
You couldn't find your apartment keys,
432
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:12,334
so I let you crash at my place.
433
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,834
Why didn't you tell me?
434
00:19:13,901 --> 00:19:15,100
I wanted to teach you a lesson.
435
00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:17,133
When you look at me, all
you see is a gay person.
436
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,534
I'm just a guy, a friend of yours.
I know that!
437
00:19:20,601 --> 00:19:23,067
Really? If Paul had taken you home,
would you have worried then?
438
00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:24,734
No. But he's not gay.
Stuart!
439
00:19:24,801 --> 00:19:27,834
Just because I'm gay doesn't mean
I sleep with every man I can!
440
00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:31,067
You're straight!
Do you sleep with every woman you can?!
441
00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:32,100
Yes!
442
00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:39,267
Woman?
443
00:19:39,334 --> 00:19:40,334
Man.
444
00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:43,834
Nice ass.
445
00:19:45,701 --> 00:19:48,133
You know, for a guy.
446
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,300
it's changes like that
447
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:50,801
that make me love this city.
448
00:19:50,868 --> 00:19:53,300
They make me really fear blind dates.
449
00:19:53,367 --> 00:19:56,434
Well... this is where
I get off.
450
00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:01,300
And then things got awkward.
451
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,601
Yeah.
452
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:05,367
Well, usually when an
evening goes this well,
453
00:20:05,434 --> 00:20:09,167
this is the point
where the guy...
454
00:20:09,234 --> 00:20:10,267
Or the girl...
455
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:14,434
I- I can't do this.
456
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,434
I just ended a...
457
00:20:17,501 --> 00:20:19,400
Long relationship,
458
00:20:19,467 --> 00:20:21,601
and I'm still at home
reading old letters.
459
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,000
But you know what?
460
00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:26,801
She dumped me.
461
00:20:26,868 --> 00:20:29,868
I mean, I should
be able to move on.
462
00:20:29,934 --> 00:20:32,033
I'm a grown man.
I can do this.
463
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,200
I can't do this!
464
00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:38,334
Take your time.
Figure it out.
465
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,367
I don't have to be at
work for a few hours yet.
466
00:20:41,434 --> 00:20:43,033
Why should I be uncomfortable?
467
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:46,033
I mean, I had
a fantastic evening.
468
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:47,534
You are beautiful.
469
00:20:47,601 --> 00:20:49,934
I really love being with you.
470
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,634
I can do this.
471
00:20:51,701 --> 00:20:53,367
Mike-
pucker up.
472
00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:56,200
All right. But I'm
not closing my eyes.
473
00:20:57,534 --> 00:20:59,601
I can't-
I can't do this.
474
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:01,534
I am so shocked.
475
00:21:01,601 --> 00:21:03,467
Oh. I just- it
wouldn't be fair to you
476
00:21:03,534 --> 00:21:06,300
because I would be thinking
about someone else.
477
00:21:06,367 --> 00:21:08,767
I understand.
478
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,400
Timing, huh?
479
00:21:10,467 --> 00:21:12,000
Yeah.
480
00:21:12,067 --> 00:21:13,934
What was her name?
481
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,634
Ashley.
482
00:21:15,701 --> 00:21:17,534
Mmm. Pretty name.
483
00:21:18,634 --> 00:21:19,834
Yeah.
484
00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:22,434
Well...
485
00:21:22,501 --> 00:21:24,367
Good night, Mike.
486
00:21:24,434 --> 00:21:25,434
Yeah.
487
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:26,667
I had a really great time.
488
00:21:26,734 --> 00:21:28,167
Yeah, me, too.
489
00:21:28,234 --> 00:21:30,033
But this is the right thing.
490
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,567
Oh, my God. I want her.
491
00:21:38,901 --> 00:21:40,467
Shut up.
492
00:21:40,534 --> 00:21:42,067
Sorry.
493
00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:44,033
I'm hungry.
494
00:21:49,734 --> 00:21:50,767
So, that's it.
495
00:21:50,834 --> 00:21:52,767
Yep. I didn't
even kiss her.
496
00:21:52,834 --> 00:21:53,767
Nothing.
497
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,300
Why?
498
00:21:55,367 --> 00:21:57,467
Because you're a wuss.
499
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:01,567
Apparently,
500
00:22:01,634 --> 00:22:03,267
I'm deep.
501
00:22:03,334 --> 00:22:04,701
That doesn't sound right.
502
00:22:04,767 --> 00:22:05,901
You're not deep, Mike.
503
00:22:05,968 --> 00:22:07,434
Well, it's late.
504
00:22:07,501 --> 00:22:09,000
Anyone ready to go to bed?
505
00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:12,067
She wants you.
506
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,634
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
507
00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:22,234
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