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1
00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:05,334
James, great speech for
the scouts of America.
2
00:00:05,334 --> 00:00:09,100
Although for future reference,
let's keep the mayor away from
3
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:11,234
words like "webelo. "
4
00:00:11,234 --> 00:00:12,901
I'll add that to the list.
5
00:00:12,901 --> 00:00:16,067
We've got these 2 school
closings up in the bronx.
6
00:00:16,067 --> 00:00:19,167
Whoever goes up there
is going to take a real beating.
7
00:00:19,167 --> 00:00:21,667
So, uh... Stuart,
why don't you handle that?
8
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:23,234
They're here!
9
00:00:23,234 --> 00:00:24,834
They're here, they're here.
10
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:28,100
Ok, people, listen up.
According to Manhattan magazine,
11
00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:32,100
as of 9:23 on this glorious
October morning,
12
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,901
I, Michael t. Flaherty,
am now officially...
13
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:37,634
The sexiest man in Manhattan.
14
00:00:37,634 --> 00:00:40,033
Whoo!
15
00:00:40,033 --> 00:00:42,234
Thank you.
16
00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:46,167
Jfk jr. Took himself
out of the running.
17
00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:49,167
I don't want this to disrupt
things here at the office.
18
00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:53,200
After all, I'm no sexier today
than I was yesterday, so...
19
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,634
What about Alec Baldwin?
20
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:56,300
Not technically a new yorker.
21
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,634
The mayor's being
honored on Friday
22
00:00:58,634 --> 00:01:00,767
by the association of
christians and jews.
23
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,634
You're all expected to attend.
24
00:01:02,634 --> 00:01:04,634
Keep in mind
these are religious people.
25
00:01:04,634 --> 00:01:06,634
Choose your dates with care.
26
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,200
There are 10 commandments.
27
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,067
I'd like your dates to check
out on at least 7 of them.
28
00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:13,767
That's kind of tough, Mike.
29
00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,968
Assuming they haven't
killed anybody,
30
00:01:15,968 --> 00:01:18,734
they still have to go 6 for 9.
31
00:01:18,734 --> 00:01:21,968
What about Billy Baldwin?
32
00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:26,100
Los Angeles.
33
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,634
Do we have to bring a date?
34
00:01:27,634 --> 00:01:29,501
No, but anybody
who doesn't bring a date
35
00:01:29,501 --> 00:01:32,267
will be placed on Helen duty
for the evening.
36
00:01:32,267 --> 00:01:34,033
Oh!
37
00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:35,734
There's nothing I'd rather do
38
00:01:35,734 --> 00:01:37,968
than spend an evening
with the mayor's wife,
39
00:01:37,968 --> 00:01:39,467
but unfortunately for me,
40
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,467
being the sexiest man
in new York,
41
00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:43,167
I already got a date.
42
00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:46,467
You're telling me there isn't
a single Baldwin brother
43
00:01:46,467 --> 00:01:48,400
in any of the boroughs?
44
00:02:03,334 --> 00:02:05,434
Ashley, maybe
I need to clarify.
45
00:02:05,434 --> 00:02:08,534
I have no comment.
I have nothing to say.
46
00:02:08,534 --> 00:02:10,934
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
47
00:02:10,934 --> 00:02:13,434
Fine. Just one final
question, though.
48
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,868
One.
49
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:17,133
Well, it's divided
into 3 parts.
50
00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:20,267
Paul, I have something important
to discuss with miss schaeffer.
51
00:02:20,267 --> 00:02:22,200
Could you allow us
a moment of privacy?
52
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,200
Gladly.
53
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,300
Thank you.
54
00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:33,934
I take it
the magazine came out?
55
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,767
Next on the runway...
Mr. Michael Flaherty.
56
00:02:41,467 --> 00:02:44,000
And...
57
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,968
He's wearing...
58
00:02:45,968 --> 00:02:47,701
His marky marks.
59
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,567
Named for a man who, while
quite sexy in his own right,
60
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,968
must now toil
in Flaherty's shadow.
61
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:58,467
Do you mind?
People are eating here.
62
00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:02,033
what?
Am I too sexy for you?
63
00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:05,000
Yes. Yes. I am so woozy
with desire,
64
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,133
I can barely finish
eating this carrot.
65
00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:09,934
Then I will just...
Wait for you here.
66
00:03:09,934 --> 00:03:11,434
Thank you.
67
00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:17,100
Ashley...
68
00:03:19,434 --> 00:03:21,934
You want a piece of this?
69
00:03:30,701 --> 00:03:34,634
Would I be having sex with you or
with the sexiest man in new York?
70
00:03:34,634 --> 00:03:37,734
Well, you can't have one
without the other.
71
00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:39,133
Then I'll pass.
72
00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:41,067
What do you mean you pass?
73
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:43,734
You can't pass on an
opportunity like this.
74
00:03:43,734 --> 00:03:45,033
I've slept with you before.
75
00:03:45,033 --> 00:03:46,767
I'm familiar
with the procedure.
76
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:50,534
I wouldn't pass on a chance to
sleep with the sexiest woman-
77
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,367
don't finish that
sentence, mister!
78
00:03:52,367 --> 00:03:53,934
Because that's you!
79
00:03:56,701 --> 00:03:58,200
Mike?
Yes, Paul.
80
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,400
I know Ashley schaeffer's
your girlfriend,
81
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,467
and let me just say,
I think she's wonderful.
82
00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:04,133
Beautiful, witty, a real catch.
83
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,367
Spill it, Paul.
84
00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:07,567
She's evil, Mike.
85
00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:10,934
I'm telling you, she's all over me.
It's eerie.
86
00:04:10,934 --> 00:04:13,801
It's like she can read my mind.
87
00:04:13,801 --> 00:04:16,701
She's just on a hot streak, ok?
It's going to pass.
88
00:04:16,701 --> 00:04:18,367
I'm telling you,
she's out to get me.
89
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:19,701
What is she on to now?
90
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:22,000
Some internal audit
of a High school in queens.
91
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,267
What's that about anyway?
92
00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:27,934
We got a custodian at a
High school in queens...
93
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,434
Happens to own a fishing boat.
94
00:04:30,434 --> 00:04:34,000
A municipal worker
who owns a boat. So?
95
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,434
So, there's just
some concern that
96
00:04:36,434 --> 00:04:39,434
the boat might be
misrepresented by the press.
97
00:04:39,434 --> 00:04:40,934
Misrepresented how?
98
00:04:40,934 --> 00:04:42,934
As a yacht.
99
00:04:45,133 --> 00:04:46,767
Is it a yacht?
100
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,734
No, it's, uh...
101
00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:50,601
It's not a...
It's the guy's fishing boat.
102
00:04:50,601 --> 00:04:53,200
You know,
it's a dinghy, really.
103
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,567
All right, fine.
Sure, ok.
104
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:58,834
All right.
I'll see you.
105
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:01,767
Does this boat have a jacuzzi?
106
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:03,267
Why do you ask?
107
00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:04,767
Oh, no, Mike!
108
00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:06,367
Aw, Mike, no!
109
00:05:06,367 --> 00:05:08,567
We're talking scandal!
Talking kickback!
110
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:11,067
We're talking news footage of
crumbling inner-city schools
111
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:14,467
cross-cut with photos of a
janitor sitting in his jacuzzi
112
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:17,067
aboard a 60-foot yacht.
113
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:20,000
It's got a big mother
of a satellite dish.
114
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,501
Oh!
115
00:05:22,934 --> 00:05:25,501
Hey, hey. You guys
read my article yet?
116
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:28,901
Ah, yes. It was fascinating.
I'm having it framed.
117
00:05:28,901 --> 00:05:31,400
Mike, wordsworth is
my favorite poet, too.
118
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,968
Is that who I put?
119
00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:35,467
They faxed me this
little questionnaire.
120
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:39,267
Since when do you
kayak on the weekends?
121
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,934
I kayak in my spare time.
122
00:05:41,934 --> 00:05:44,934
In my spare time...
123
00:05:44,934 --> 00:05:47,100
Of which I have none.
124
00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:50,934
However do you find time
for all your hobbies:
125
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,467
Playing squash, cooking pasta,
126
00:05:53,467 --> 00:05:56,634
and... contemplative
introspection?
127
00:05:56,634 --> 00:05:59,701
Thinking, Mike?
That's your hobby?
128
00:05:59,701 --> 00:06:01,534
You guys are missing the point.
129
00:06:01,534 --> 00:06:04,200
The point is, I'm the
sexiest man in new York,
130
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:08,400
and I bet statistically, I'm sexier
than all of you put together.
131
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:12,400
Yeah, maybe, but that's only
because Stuart's dragging us down.
132
00:06:13,901 --> 00:06:15,400
Well, be that as it may,
133
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,400
I got a date
for tomorrow night.
134
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,267
And if tradition holds,
none of you do.
135
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,434
I'll tell you what.
I'll pass the savings on to you.
136
00:06:23,434 --> 00:06:25,467
I suggest dividing
mrs. Winston up
137
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:28,400
into easy-to-swallow
30-minute shifts.
138
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,367
This isn't fair.
You have a live-in date.
139
00:06:30,367 --> 00:06:32,601
You'll never have to go
on Helen duty.
140
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,934
I'll tell you what I'll do.
141
00:06:34,934 --> 00:06:38,000
If all of you get dates
for Friday night,
142
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,100
I'll take care
of mrs. Winston.
143
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:45,200
Of course, the banquet would
probably have been canceled,
144
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,634
what with hell having
frozen over and all.
145
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:51,968
James, would you like to go to
dinner with me Friday night?
146
00:06:51,968 --> 00:06:53,334
Sure.
147
00:06:53,334 --> 00:06:54,734
No, no, hey, wait a minute.
148
00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:56,834
Karen,
would you go to dinner with me?
149
00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:58,634
- I'd love to!
- Oh, great.
150
00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:01,501
You can't. No.
Hey, that's not fair.
151
00:07:01,501 --> 00:07:04,000
Well, Stuart, Carter...
152
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:12,868
Guess you guys will be
sharing Helen duty.
153
00:07:19,767 --> 00:07:22,000
Pick you up at 7:00?
154
00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:27,000
I take it there is
some impropriety
155
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000
going on down at that school.
156
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,200
Depends on what you mean
by impropriety, sir.
157
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,033
Larceny, fraud, embezzlement.
158
00:07:33,033 --> 00:07:34,534
Well, then, yes.
159
00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:36,033
So have you briefed Paul?
160
00:07:36,033 --> 00:07:39,033
Yeah. I told him we
want to keep it quiet
161
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:41,100
and do our own
internal investigation.
162
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:44,601
There's no telling how High up the...
ladder this thing goes,
163
00:07:44,601 --> 00:07:47,534
so we wouldn't want
to make the mistake of...
164
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:50,000
Can I help you at all, sir?
165
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,534
You know, they're right.
166
00:07:51,534 --> 00:07:53,400
You are a very sexy man.
167
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,067
Striking.
168
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:57,567
All right, sir, I'm going
to be honest with you.
169
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,834
I'm already taken.
170
00:07:59,834 --> 00:08:03,534
You know, uh, you better get
used to people looking at you
171
00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:06,067
because from now on,
everything you do is a story.
172
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:08,801
I mean, the restaurants you eat at,
173
00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:10,834
the movies that you see,
the way you look.
174
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:13,367
I'm sure it won't be
that much of a burden, sir.
175
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,767
Once you're in the public
spotlight, you can't get out.
176
00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:18,901
You walk down the street,
177
00:08:18,901 --> 00:08:21,767
you start to feel
people looking at you.
178
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:27,200
Everywhere you turn,
nothing but eyes staring...
179
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:33,234
Judging... gazing into the
very recesses of your soul.
180
00:08:34,334 --> 00:08:36,767
No, no.
Wait, wait. Stop.
181
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:40,400
What?
What's the matter?
182
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,400
I- I can't do this.
183
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,033
What is it?
184
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:47,968
Uh, I don't know.
I just-I feel weird...
185
00:08:47,968 --> 00:08:54,334
Like, uh... like people
are watching me.
186
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,167
Well, why don't you
close your eyes
187
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:59,067
and just let me
help you get over it?
188
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:01,067
No. Honey, you
don't understand.
189
00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:04,434
This is like, uh...
It's like a major malfunction...
190
00:09:04,434 --> 00:09:08,067
Kind of a hydraulics problem.
191
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:10,434
What do you mean?
192
00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:14,801
Ok, uh, you know when
your foot falls asleep?
193
00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:18,467
Yeah. I just shake it real
hard and stomp on it.
194
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:21,200
Not a good idea.
195
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,400
Oh.
196
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,300
Oh...
197
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,834
Hey there, sexy. You're looking
mighty fine today.
198
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,834
Right back at you, Roberta.
199
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:38,267
You're number one.
200
00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:39,834
You know it, kid.
201
00:09:39,834 --> 00:09:41,901
I'm living a lie.
202
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,901
Honey, really,
it's going to be fine.
203
00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:47,968
No. I'm a big,
fat phony.
204
00:09:47,968 --> 00:09:49,767
Hey, sexiest man
in new York, up top!
205
00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:51,467
I can't go on with this.
206
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:53,467
This has got to stop.
207
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,534
Hey, Mike,
nice tie.
208
00:09:55,534 --> 00:09:57,868
For God's sake, will you
people leave him alone?
209
00:09:57,868 --> 00:10:00,133
What do you want from him?
210
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:05,968
Thanks, honey.
That's much better.
211
00:10:08,968 --> 00:10:10,901
Everything all right?
212
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:13,300
Yeah. Fine.
213
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,934
All right, so whip it out.
214
00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:19,200
What?
215
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,367
The football pool.
Giants over Dallas. I won.
216
00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:24,501
Oh, God, the football pool.
217
00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:25,934
Oh, thank God.
218
00:10:25,934 --> 00:10:28,501
Ok.
219
00:10:28,501 --> 00:10:30,100
Here you go.
220
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,534
That's a 20, Mike.
221
00:10:31,534 --> 00:10:33,534
Yeah. Well,
you keep the rest
222
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:35,968
because I'm just
going to go lie down.
223
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,534
...which are just a few
of the many reasons
224
00:10:39,534 --> 00:10:42,133
why the mayor has
issued this proclamation
225
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:45,067
making today
pedestrian safety day.
226
00:10:45,067 --> 00:10:46,701
Yeah. Yes, Ashley?
227
00:10:46,701 --> 00:10:48,467
I wanted to follow up
on that audit
228
00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:49,834
of that High school in queens.
229
00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:51,734
First, I'd like to respond
to any and all
230
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,000
pedestrian safety-related
questions.
231
00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:57,400
Ok, then.
232
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,734
Have the school books,
in fact, been audited?
233
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:02,167
- Ah, no.
- The funds are accounted for?
234
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:03,534
Yes. They have.
That's correct.
235
00:11:03,534 --> 00:11:05,534
Well, you don't
really know that.
236
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,667
The books haven't
been audited yet, right?
237
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,534
Right. Wrong. Wrong.
238
00:11:09,534 --> 00:11:11,200
That's, uh, I mean, uh...
239
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,801
Why are you doing this to me?
240
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:16,667
What are we doing?
241
00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:18,200
We're just coming home
242
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,801
for a little early lunch.
243
00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:21,267
Mike, it's
quarter after 9:00.
244
00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:22,968
A late breakfast.
245
00:11:22,968 --> 00:11:25,300
All right, you know
why we're here.
246
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:28,801
I got to get right
back on the horse.
247
00:11:28,801 --> 00:11:32,901
Does the horse have
any say in this?
248
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,067
The horse gets no say.
249
00:11:35,067 --> 00:11:38,434
If the horse likes,
it can whinny.
250
00:11:38,434 --> 00:11:43,367
All right, now, please, just
strip and lie back on the bed.
251
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,701
Excuse me?
252
00:11:45,701 --> 00:11:50,434
Do you know how many people
subscribe to Manhattan magazine?
253
00:11:50,434 --> 00:11:52,501
246,000.
254
00:11:52,501 --> 00:11:57,501
I feel like I'm having sex
in the middle of yankee stadium,
255
00:11:57,501 --> 00:11:59,968
and they're all watching
me and judging me.
256
00:11:59,968 --> 00:12:02,467
Honey, maybe you should
see someone about this.
257
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:04,801
You know, talk to
somebody, a professional.
258
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,067
Is there a good reason
you're not naked yet?
259
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:13,200
If I do this,
it is only because I love you
260
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,033
and because it is clear that
you're about to lose your mind.
261
00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:19,968
Well, those are 2 excellent reasons
to have sex with a person.
262
00:12:19,968 --> 00:12:22,334
All right.
Now, I just-
263
00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:23,968
I got to remember...
264
00:12:23,968 --> 00:12:27,033
No matter how much
they may want me,
265
00:12:27,033 --> 00:12:29,467
I'm not making love
to the entire city.
266
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:31,501
You just got to
narrow it down-
267
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,934
a few square city blocks.
268
00:12:32,934 --> 00:12:35,367
Pretend I'm Chinatown.
269
00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:37,868
Chinatown?
270
00:12:37,868 --> 00:12:39,868
Oh, yeah.
271
00:12:39,868 --> 00:12:41,501
Yeah. I like that.
272
00:12:41,501 --> 00:12:43,534
Mmm. Chinatown.
273
00:12:43,534 --> 00:12:45,434
Mmm. I'm thinking...
274
00:12:45,434 --> 00:12:47,767
I'm thinking silk kimonos.
275
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,734
I'm thinking geisha girls.
276
00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:50,267
Geisha girls are japanese.
277
00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:51,501
So?
278
00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:52,601
So are kimonos.
279
00:12:52,601 --> 00:12:54,067
So?
280
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:57,000
So we shouldn't have
culturally insensitive sex.
281
00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:03,234
Not exactly my biggest
problem right now.
282
00:13:03,234 --> 00:13:06,534
I'll apologize to the pacific
rim when we're done.
283
00:13:06,534 --> 00:13:07,901
I'm sorry.
284
00:13:07,901 --> 00:13:09,901
Ok, where were we?
285
00:13:09,901 --> 00:13:12,968
I mean, you were
just trying to help.
286
00:13:12,968 --> 00:13:14,400
Oh, yeah. Chinatown.
287
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,968
Mmm. Yeah.
288
00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:17,701
I'm thinking... chopsticks.
289
00:13:17,701 --> 00:13:22,968
I'm thinking...
Dead ducks hanging in store windows.
290
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,801
You've ruined Chinatown for me.
291
00:13:30,801 --> 00:13:32,667
Well, it's a big city.
292
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:35,534
We just got to try
someplace else.
293
00:13:35,534 --> 00:13:36,467
Little Italy?
294
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:37,701
Mmm.
295
00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:39,934
Oh, bene, bene.
Molto bene.
296
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:45,400
Checkered tablecloths.
297
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:46,567
Um... tiramisu.
298
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:47,634
Penne.
299
00:13:47,634 --> 00:13:50,634
You're making me hungry.
300
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:54,067
No, no.
It's just new York.
301
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,501
How about Santa fe?
302
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,067
No.
303
00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:58,501
Minneapolis?
304
00:13:58,501 --> 00:14:00,067
No.
305
00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:01,067
Houston?
306
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:02,067
Houston?
307
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,567
Houston.
308
00:14:05,434 --> 00:14:06,934
Houston...
309
00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:09,734
We have a problem.
310
00:14:16,868 --> 00:14:19,234
We have got to stop
obsessing about this.
311
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:20,667
You're right.
You're right.
312
00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:24,100
I mean, it's not really
that big a deal.
313
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:28,100
I won't blame you
if you want to leave me.
314
00:14:29,601 --> 00:14:32,100
Come on. I love you,
and I will love you
315
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:35,100
even if you can never
have sex again.
316
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,000
Thanks.
317
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,100
Up until this moment, I hadn't
considered that possibility.
318
00:14:41,534 --> 00:14:43,200
Excuse me.
319
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,367
Aren't you on Helen duty
tonight?
320
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:48,467
'Cause I'm Helen, and
where have you been?
321
00:14:49,701 --> 00:14:52,100
You know, down at the office,
322
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,801
we don't refer to it
as Helen duty.
323
00:14:53,801 --> 00:14:55,901
We refer to it
as Helen privilege.
324
00:14:55,901 --> 00:14:58,634
You really didn't have to
get me a corsage, James.
325
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,701
I thought it would make it
look more like a real date.
326
00:15:05,701 --> 00:15:08,734
If you were prom king, maybe!
327
00:15:08,734 --> 00:15:11,701
Oh, I'm just kidding.
We're gonna have a good time.
328
00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:14,567
Well, you better believe it.
Look what I smuggled in.
329
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,767
We got peach schnapps.
330
00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:25,367
You're kidding.
331
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,667
We're gonna party
very hard tonight.
332
00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,968
You're not kidding.
333
00:15:29,968 --> 00:15:33,033
So, both of you guys
are in a rowboat...
334
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:41,667
No, no, no. Stop me
if you've heard this one.
335
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:44,734
Right now, 100,000 papers
are being printed up,
336
00:15:44,734 --> 00:15:47,868
and every one of them has a
picture of a janitor on a yacht.
337
00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:50,734
And you know why, Karen?
338
00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:53,067
Because he was cleaning it?
339
00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:55,501
Because of me.
Because I can't do my job.
340
00:15:55,501 --> 00:15:57,000
I'm an albatross.
341
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,667
Are you gonna eat that cherry?
342
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:00,934
So, how are you guys doing?
343
00:16:00,934 --> 00:16:02,601
Paul's making me sad.
344
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,033
You should go and dance.
345
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,701
Okeydokey.
346
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:12,133
What's up?
347
00:16:12,133 --> 00:16:14,334
Ah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm-I'm fine.
348
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:16,834
How many drinks have you had?
349
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:18,834
Oh, this is my first one.
350
00:16:23,334 --> 00:16:24,834
Really?
351
00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:26,367
All right. All right.
352
00:16:26,367 --> 00:16:27,367
2.
353
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,601
Unbelievable.
354
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:37,868
Hey, Paul.
Let me ask you something.
355
00:16:37,868 --> 00:16:40,634
How much do you weigh?
356
00:16:40,634 --> 00:16:43,167
I don't know.
About 175.
357
00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:44,868
Popular kid in school,
were you?
358
00:16:44,868 --> 00:16:46,868
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
359
00:16:46,868 --> 00:16:50,367
Yeah, guys love me.
Yeah. Yeah.
360
00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:52,400
- Where did you go to college?
- Notre dame.
361
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,767
There it is.
362
00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:55,067
I see it.
363
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:57,567
What? I did.
I went to notre dame.
364
00:16:57,567 --> 00:17:00,000
Paul, you tip it when you lie.
365
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,501
I do not.
366
00:17:01,501 --> 00:17:04,634
Oh, yeah, really?
When did you lose your virginity?
367
00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:06,200
- I don't know. When I was 16.
- Paul.
368
00:17:07,267 --> 00:17:09,100
- All right. I was in college.
- Paul.
369
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,067
All right!
I was 33.
370
00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:13,100
But, Mike,
you should have seen her.
371
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,167
She was beautiful.
She was a model.
372
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,133
You know, she didn't
like me at first,
373
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:19,234
but then she was
head-over-heels for me.
374
00:17:19,234 --> 00:17:21,334
Oh, my God!
Oh, God!
375
00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:23,467
I touch my face when I lie!
376
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,634
Oh, my God!
377
00:17:24,634 --> 00:17:27,234
Oh, Mike! Oh, no!
Oh, God!
378
00:17:27,234 --> 00:17:29,567
Carter, let me
ask you something.
379
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:31,934
Shoot.
380
00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:33,501
Suppose I was...
381
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000
You know.
382
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,501
Gay, Stuart.
The word is gay.
383
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:45,000
It only has one syllable.
I know you can say it.
384
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,000
Ok. Suppose I was gay.
385
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,501
Would you find me-
386
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,667
no!
387
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,567
Not even a I-
388
00:17:57,567 --> 00:17:59,634
no!
389
00:17:59,634 --> 00:18:01,067
I work out.
390
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:02,634
I don't care.
391
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:07,067
Can I-
can I ask you something?
392
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:09,133
Fire away.
393
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:11,033
When you, uh...
394
00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:13,667
When you first started
making speeches,
395
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,968
you know, and
running for office,
396
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:17,200
and being in the public eye,
397
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:21,834
did you develop...
Any problems...
398
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,033
You know...
399
00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,901
Handling the pressure?
400
00:18:24,901 --> 00:18:30,033
You know, I've never
told anybody about this before.
401
00:18:30,033 --> 00:18:34,534
Once I took Helen to this
beautiful, old romantic inn
402
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:37,033
to get away for the weekend,
403
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:40,100
and, bam, it happened.
404
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,501
That's right.
405
00:18:42,501 --> 00:18:44,167
Bam!
406
00:18:44,167 --> 00:18:46,133
That's the way it was for me.
407
00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:48,567
My golf game
went right out the window.
408
00:18:50,501 --> 00:18:53,067
And by your golf game,
409
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:55,501
I take it you actually...
410
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:58,167
Mean your golf game.
411
00:18:58,167 --> 00:19:00,667
I used to play every day.
412
00:19:00,667 --> 00:19:04,133
Sometimes twice
if I had the stamina.
413
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:06,934
Then I became mayor Winston.
414
00:19:06,934 --> 00:19:08,701
I completely fell apart.
415
00:19:08,701 --> 00:19:10,868
I still managed
to make it to the green,
416
00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:13,033
but then I'd pull
my putter out...
417
00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:14,834
nothing.
418
00:19:14,834 --> 00:19:17,801
It just... it just
didn't feel right.
419
00:19:17,801 --> 00:19:18,968
Exactly.
420
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:21,033
My confidence was shot.
421
00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:25,267
You know, and you can't
fix that at the driving range.
422
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:26,434
Oh, no.
423
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:30,534
You can practice
by yourself all day...
424
00:19:30,534 --> 00:19:33,467
It's just not the same.
425
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:35,467
You speak the truth.
426
00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:38,467
So, what did you do?
427
00:19:38,467 --> 00:19:41,033
I mean, how did you
get past it?
428
00:19:41,033 --> 00:19:44,067
I didn't.
I quit the game.
429
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,868
Golf isn't everything, Mike.
430
00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:51,734
Oh, but what if you
really, really loved golf?
431
00:19:51,734 --> 00:19:53,400
Well...
432
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,601
If I was going to try to
get back on the course,
433
00:19:56,601 --> 00:20:00,467
I think I would focus on what Drew
me there in the first place-
434
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:05,100
the pure, simple
beauty of the game.
435
00:20:08,968 --> 00:20:11,467
The beauty of the game?
436
00:20:11,467 --> 00:20:13,801
Thank you, sir.
437
00:20:13,801 --> 00:20:16,367
Are you a golfer, Flaherty?
438
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:20,400
Uh, used to be.
439
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,968
Haven't played much in a while.
440
00:20:24,567 --> 00:20:27,901
I'm thinking
of taking it up again.
441
00:20:27,901 --> 00:20:30,968
Well, you should.
Best 6 hours of your life.
442
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:35,367
I think that might be
a little optimistic, sir.
443
00:20:36,934 --> 00:20:40,767
Well, this has been
a little slice of heaven.
444
00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:42,434
He's awful cute, though.
445
00:20:42,434 --> 00:20:44,000
Thank you.
446
00:20:45,534 --> 00:20:50,367
You are so unbelievably beautiful.
447
00:20:50,367 --> 00:20:52,033
Thank you.
448
00:20:55,033 --> 00:20:58,501
When I look into your eyes,
449
00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:01,901
I just want to be with you
for the rest of my life.
450
00:21:01,901 --> 00:21:03,534
Excuse us.
451
00:21:03,534 --> 00:21:07,100
Mike, there are people around.
452
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,901
You know what?
I don't care.
453
00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:15,100
I want you...
Right here and right now.
454
00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:17,767
You don't have to put this
kind of pressure on yourself.
455
00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:19,567
This really is not
the place-
456
00:21:22,968 --> 00:21:24,033
let's go.
457
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,868
Yeah. Excuse us. Coming through.
458
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,767
Deputy mayor. Official business.
Coming through.
459
00:21:32,467 --> 00:21:34,334
It's alive!
460
00:21:38,467 --> 00:21:40,901
I don't want to be
baby-sat
461
00:21:40,901 --> 00:21:42,767
every time we leave the house.
462
00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:44,901
So I suppose I could,
463
00:21:44,901 --> 00:21:47,901
in situations where
your career is at stake,
464
00:21:47,901 --> 00:21:52,501
take more care
to be... appropriate.
465
00:21:56,501 --> 00:22:01,000
That's my deputy mayor
and his girlfriend.
466
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,267
They seem very happy.
467
00:22:03,267 --> 00:22:06,501
You would be, too,
if you just had sex.
468
00:22:06,501 --> 00:22:08,334
Father!
469
00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:12,701
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
470
00:22:13,901 --> 00:22:15,334
Moo.
471
00:22:15,384 --> 00:22:19,934
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