All language subtitles for Spin City s01e01 Pilot.eng

.Good morning

Good morning.

Hey.

All right, everybody,
listen up.

As of about one minute ago,

the sanitation workers union
rejected our final offer.

They are now officially
on strike.

It's happening?

Let's start looking
into alternative dumpsites.

Vacant lots, barges...

New Jersey.

This strike could drag on
for days, weeks,

maybe even months.

Mike, I need something to tell the press.
They're killing me.

The strike's over, pauly-
finished.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

you're not lying to me,
are you?

I would be disappointed
if this thing

wasn't settled
by this afternoon.

God, I love this job!

Ok, that's only going to
buy us a couple hours,

but I'm not debating this thing
in the press.

It's only going to hurt
negotiations.

Now, you all know the rules.

Anybody who tells Paul the truth
puts 10 bucks in the Kitty.

It's going to be
a long day, people.

We got garbage in the streets.

We got a weather report calling for
temperatures in the mid-90s with no breeze.

By 11:00, the city's going
to smell like a giant foot.

People are going to be hurling
themselves into the East River,

and we all know who everybody's
going to blame, don't we?

Good morning, everyone.

Morning, mr. Mayor.

Hey, Flaherty, how's our city?

Couldn't be better, sir.

That's what I like to hear.

The mayor is not happy.

Sorry to hear about
that. How you doing?

I'm ok. Let me see
my own schedule.

You're not going to
have time for it.

No. No. No.
No. No. No.

You gave me 6 nos.
There's only 5 things on the list.

That last no, that's for you.
You can use that however you want.

Karen.

Yes, mr. Flaherty?

I need you to get a mr.
Sabatino on the phone.

He's the head of the
sanitation workers union,

and he doesn't
want to talk to us,

so you're going to have
to do me a favor.

You know how,
no matter what happens,

you're always so cheerful,
it just makes us all

want to stab you
through the heart?

Uh-huh.

That's not going to work
on mr. Sabatino,

so you got to do me
a favor, all right?

You got to intimidate
this guy, all right?

Tap into your darker side,

that angry corner of your
soul where violence reigns

and terror cracks the whip.

Okeydokey.

It was just a
run-of-the-mill orgasm.

I didn't mean to scare you.

Could you hold a second, mom?

I worked up some new
numbers for you, Mike.

Talk to me, Nikki.

We're not there yet.
Forget health insurance and pension plans.

We can't come close to what these
sanitation workers are asking.

Give it another pass.

All right, but I
wouldn't be optimistic.

Oh, I'll let you
get back to your mom.

Oh.

Before she loses her erection.

So, yes, we do hope that
new yorkers will continue

to bag and dispose of their
garbage in the usual manner.

Any other questions?

Anybody have any questions?

Any questions at all?
Anybody? Anybody?

Yes, Ashley?

Am I to understand
you actually believe

garbage pickup will
resume tomorrow?

Yes.

Yes.

With all my heart.

That's interesting,

because I spoke to mr.
Sabatino about 15 minutes ago,

and I asked him how long he
thought the strike might last,

and he said, and I quote,

"how long you got?"

It's not good. No.

Why are you beating up on Paul?

Guy's just doing his job.

I don't blame Paul.

I know who has his hand
inside the puppet.

Why, thank you.
That's a lovely image.

Got any more questions?

Yeah. What do you hope
to gain by this?

It's a strike. It's not like
people aren't going to notice.

Why can't you just say
no progress has been made?

Because the second I do that, you'd
make it out to be the mayor's fault.

So it's not the mayor's fault?

I'll just write the story:

"Garbage unreasonable.
Refuses to be taken away. "

Why do you people always
focus on the negative?

The city of new York
generates more garbage

than any other city
in the world.

We're number one.
That's great!

When we came in,
we were number 3.

Whatever.
You're the one

who has to sleep at night.

That's right.

Ok, then.

Ok.

See you tonight?

My place?

No problem.

The mayor prepared to speak
about the strike, James?

I worked on it all night.

I have 6 pages of
spontaneous remarks.

You know, Mike,
if I were deputy mayor,

there never would have
been a garbage strike.

Stuart, I'm sure there
are 100 reasons

why you think
you deserve my job.

Good! You read
my manifesto.

Sir? Mr. Mayor?

Any comments
on the strike, sir?

"I don't think we need
to be overly concerned. "

I don't think we need
to be overly concerned.

"We all want this
settled quickly. "

We all want this settled quickly.
Besides...

88%. Good God, 88%!
88% of...

88% of all major union strikes
end in less than 48 hours,

so this shouldn't
drag on. Thank you.

And there's your sound bite.

All right.
We're golden.

Mr. Mayor, would you
consider marching

in the gay pride
parade this week?

What are you-drunk?

What was that?

I didn't write that, Mike.

Oh, great. There go
all our free show tickets.

All right. It's out there.
He said it. Now what?

I tell you, if we have one
gay person on the staff,

this whole thing goes away.

Everybody, stop.

I need a gay person.

Huh?

Who in this room is gay?

Not that kind of gay.

Aw, come on. You telling me
nobody is even leaning that way?

Do threesomes count?

Nobody even had a gay fling?

Nobody here went to camp?

James?

Why are you asking me?

All righty, people.

I assume you all get
television.

I'd like to get a jump-start
on our new problem.

Pauly, we're in great shape.

We are?

Oh, sure. We're an
open administration.

We even have prominent
gay personnel on our staff.

We do? Who?

James.

Oh, yeah.

11:00.

Workday is over.

You're not listening to me.
That's not the mayor's position.

I gotta go.

What do you want to do?

Oh, I don't know.

What do you want to do?

We could rent a movie.

Nah. I don't
want to.

We could read.

No.

We could play boggle.

That's it. I want
to play boggle.

hey, Mike, this is Paul.

We're getting beat up
on this parade thing.

It might be a good idea maybe to
have James in there in the morning,

answer some questions.

Get back to me.
I'll see you.

Have James there to answer
questions about what?

Off the record?

What it's like to be a gay
man in the mayor's office.

Since when is James gay?

Since about 5:15.

Mike, it's Stuart.
Sabatino turned our offer down.

I've rounded everybody up.

We're on our way over.
Be there in 3 minutes.

Can we do it?

Well, I could.

I hate to say this, but this
could turn into an all-nighter.

Oh, great. That's
just what I need.

I got a big day tomorrow.
I gotta be up at 6:00.

Maybe you should just crash
at your place tonight.

No. I can't.

Why not?

I don't have one.

What?

My lease-it ran out
a few weeks ago,

and I didn't bother
renewing it.

Oh. So, then, uh...

We live together.

Well... yeah, I guess.

I feel I should have been told.

We already live together.

It's not like I snuck
into your apartment.

I've been sleeping here every
night for a year and a half.

As a guest!

Oh, as a guest? Really?

Look at that picture
over there, Mike.

Oh, my God.

Those aren't my parents.

They're my parents.
Who did you think they were?

I thought they came
with the frame.

That's my dresser, too.

All right. Ok.
Well, listen, honey,

a photo and a dresser
doesn't-

couch.

Coffee table.
Television.

Ok.

The dog.

Not Rex.

You do live here.

Uh-huh.

Where do I live?

I can't believe this is
such a big deal to you.

We eat together. We sleep together.
We vacation together.

Mike, we're each other's

"in case of emergency,
please notify" person.

I can't breathe.

You might want to
notify yourself.

What are you-drunk?

What's in the journal?

"Sanitation strike
cripples city. "

What about the news?

"Mayor snubs
gay community. "

Anything in the post?

"Family dog drives heart
attack victim to hospital... "

"As mayor snubs
gay community. "

I love the post.

Here are your remarks
for the dedication, sir.

Uh...
"Proud to be here. "

"Proud of a community
on the rise. "

Mm-hmm.

Basically, you're just-
you're very...

Very proud.

You look terrible, Flaherty.

We were up all night
working on this thing.

Ashley...

Forget I said that, ok?

I don't want to bother you.

No bother. Romantic
problems are, uh...

Right up my alley.

I did a little
bird-dogging in my day.

Let's hear it.

All right, uh...
The thing is, Ashley feels-

you know what you do?

Send her to a spa.

All is forgiven
in the 100-degree mud.

Or if that doesn't work, you
name a street after her...

Or a park.

They love parks.

Those are 3...

Really good suggestions, sir.

Hey.

Hey.

You've been avoiding me
all morning.

I, uh... I think we need
to talk. Don't you?

Everything
that needed to be said was said.

I don't know about that.

You dropped a bomb
on me last night.

I got a feeling you didn't get the
reaction you were looking for.

No, not at all.

I find hysterical paralysis
very reassuring.

I just don't see what
the big problem is.

All we have to do is get
your old place back.

Will you tell me why my apartment
is so important to you?

Us. Important to us.

It's our safety net.

It's a $900-a-month empty room
that allows you to delude yourself

into thinking that you
haven't made a commitment.

Well, if it does all that...

And it's only 900 bucks...

All right.
All right, look.

You said c
- commitment, and, uh...

And I got
a little crazy. Ok?

I admit that,

but I know what you're saying,

and you're right, so...

So let's go ahead.

Let's do it.

We live together.

Just like that.

Yeah.

Isn't it great?

I don't think so, Mike.

Now I'm really confused.

Well, I'm confused, too.

I mean, this is hard.
You know?

I think we should just
take some time off.

Would you like to go to a spa?

Look, I'm sure with work, we'll
see each other all the time.

You know, I think
we should just...

Keep the rest of our relationship
platonic for a while.

Oh, I see. Ok.

Just keep exactly
what we have now,

just...

Without the sex.

I'm going to have to
vote no on that.

You know what?

I really care about you,
Michael. I do.

I love you, but I ask
for an honest reaction,

and all I get is a joke.

I love you, too, honey.

We're just different.
That's all.

But, you know, hey, hey,
different is good.

That's why it's great
that we're together,

because I think we
need people like you

to keep people
like me in check,

and I think that we
need people like me

to keep people like you
from overthinking things.

And I think that-
that people...

Who need people...

The luckiest people
in the world.

See, we're different.
I would have laughed at that.

Michael, as per your request,

I have scheduled a press
conference this afternoon at 5:00

to introduce a key member
of our staff

who also happens
to be homosexual.

But guess what, Mike?

James here
says that he's not gay.

10 bucks in the Kitty, James.

I can't take this anymore, Mike.
I can't take it!

I don't know
what's real and what's not.

I don't know day from night,
good from evil.

I'm lost. I'm lost.
I'm lost.

Don't melt down on me, Paul.
Not today, ok?

I need you.

This is a very emotional time.

James being gay
surprised all of us.

Especially James.

Come on, pauly.
For me?

All right, all right, all right.
All right, look.

If we're going to go through with
this charade of a press conference,

we may as well take a couple of minutes, go
over questions you're going to get asked.

Is it going to be
that big a deal?

It's not like it's
front-page stuff.

Is it?

You might want
to call your parents.

Janelle, I'd like
you to get Ashley...

Schaeffer on the phone
for me, please.

What?

This is getting ridiculous.
You've tried 23 times.

I don't care.

I don't feel like an idiot.

You're not the one
making the calls.

Hey, Mike.
Mike, get over here.

This guy's killing us.

No. This wasn't just a
slight to the gay community.

We consider it
to be symptomatic

of a hostile and repressive
administration,

and until we see
significant changes,

we are going to harass and
haunt the mayor at every turn.

We are going to make his life
miserable over the next 4 years

and make sure there aren't
4 years after that.

What do you people
have to say about that?

What can I say?

You're hired! I love this guy.
Get him a desk.

Mike, Mike...

Uh, listen.

You know I'd do
anything for you.

I would.

And so when you asked me
to be gay for you,

I gave it a lot
of thought, and, uh...

Let me say first off how honored
I am that you chose me.

James, James...

Relax, ok?

You're not gay anymore.

"Hostile
and repressive. "

That's good.
That's a good line.

I thought "backward and
medieval" was pretty good, too.

"Morally stunted
and machiavellian. "

Look, it's very easy to stand
outside throwing rocks,

but please, do not have
the unmitigated audacity-

2 very big words...

...to question what
I believe in, ok?

I'm offering you
a chance to come in,

sit down at the table,
and make policy.

This is the opportunity
of a lifetime.

If I act now, do I get
a free set of steak knives?

The mayor made a mistake.

I admit that.

But what do you want to do?

Do you want to stay out there
and bitch about a parade,

or do you want to come in
and make a difference?

You won't be able
to control me.

You know that.

how we doing in here?

Mr. Mayor, perfect
timing as usual.

I think we're pretty close
to making a decision.

Thank you for asking me to be a
part of this administration.

I accept, and I promise you,
as long as you're in office,

I'm going to be
your worst nightmare.

Mike, is that good?

It's good.

Splendid!
Welcome aboard.

Good night.

We're meeting Carter for a beer to celebrate.
You want to join us?

Uh, no, I don't think so.

All right.

We're meeting at
houlihan's, right?

Yes.

Really? Because I went
there the other night,

and none of you guys showed.

Imagine that.

Uh, can I, uh...

Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah.

Talk.

I thought that part was
going to take a lot longer,

so I'm not really prepared-aw,
to hell with it.

Ok, uh...

Here goes.

Are you done?
Because that was very moving.

Would it make
any difference to you

if I gave up my own apartment?

I don't know what
good that would do.

Neither of us would
have a place to live.

Ok, because I sublet
my apartment this afternoon.

Needless to say, I was hoping

for a completely
different answer.

I just...

Figured that if we're
going to do this for real...

We should have a fresh start.

You sure about this, Mike?

Maybe I didn't know
what all this meant,

but I do now.

I really...

Really want us
to live together.

No nets?

I live for danger.

Michael?

Hello! Walk out with me,
would you, please?

Oh,
just one thing. Uh...

Promise to tell me
if we get married.

Anything I need to know?

I've been back and forth
with sabatino all day.

I don't think the guy
realizes what we're offering.

I'll give him another call.

Mike, it's a strike. There's no quick fix here.
Now, just let it rest.

The city's not going to fall apart
because you take one night off.

I mean, it probably will.
But it will anyway.

So, uh... where
are you off to?

A fund-raiser. Um...

Oh, yeah- jewish community
center, rego park.

Well, shalom, sir.

L'chayim, Mike.

* havah nagilah... *

good night,
mr. Flaherty.

Good night, skippy.

Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

Moo.

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