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1
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I met a girl I like today.
She's like... beautiful.
2
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Emily Fitch...
3
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,779
Emms, you oughta spruce up, yeah?
Get some decent threads like Katie.
4
00:00:08,879 --> 00:00:10,979
Katie Fitch...
5
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,899
Well, here it comes. She tried to snog my sister at middle school.
6
00:00:13,999 --> 00:00:15,779
Naomi Campbell...
7
00:00:15,879 --> 00:00:17,099
People tell lies about me.
8
00:00:17,199 --> 00:00:19,179
Jonah Jeremia Jones...
9
00:00:19,279 --> 00:00:20,219
Prestissimo!!
10
00:00:20,317 --> 00:00:21,270
James Cook...
11
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,370
Pandora Moon...
12
00:00:24,470 --> 00:00:25,730
Bonkers!
13
00:00:25,835 --> 00:00:26,978
Elizabeth Stonem...
14
00:00:27,079 --> 00:00:28,773
Maybe we could get to know each other.
15
00:00:28,877 --> 00:00:32,893
Fill in the form. First one to fill it out gets to... get to know me.
16
00:00:32,998 --> 00:00:34,493
Grab my balls...
17
00:00:34,595 --> 00:00:36,873
Grab my balls... grab my balls... balls.
18
00:01:23,437 --> 00:01:24,573
"If you like to gamble
19
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I tell you I'm your man
20
00:01:26,916 --> 00:01:28,411
You win some lose some
21
00:01:28,515 --> 00:01:30,333
It's all the same to me
22
00:01:30,435 --> 00:01:32,291
Wah wah wah wah wah
23
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Wah wah wah wah wah
24
00:01:34,235 --> 00:01:36,412
Wah wah wah wah
25
00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:38,370
The pleasure is to play
26
00:01:38,477 --> 00:01:41,612
Makes no difference what you say..."
27
00:01:41,716 --> 00:01:42,732
Get on home...
28
00:01:42,835 --> 00:01:45,133
"I don't share your greed
29
00:01:45,236 --> 00:01:46,850
The only card I need is
30
00:01:46,956 --> 00:01:50,251
The ace of spades, the ace of spades..."
31
00:01:50,358 --> 00:01:52,190
Dude, calm down a bit.
It's like five o'clock.
32
00:01:52,295 --> 00:01:53,713
Neighbours hasn't even started yet.
33
00:01:53,815 --> 00:01:56,773
Sorry. Actually, no, not sorry.
34
00:01:56,878 --> 00:01:58,730
I'm so fucking stoked, man.
35
00:01:58,837 --> 00:02:00,330
I'm 17 today!
36
00:02:00,436 --> 00:02:02,850
That's an event horizon, that's a milestone.
37
00:02:02,958 --> 00:02:04,692
Isn't 18 traditionally the age...
38
00:02:04,795 --> 00:02:06,371
Fuck tradition.
39
00:02:06,477 --> 00:02:07,931
Just hope some people turn up.
40
00:02:08,036 --> 00:02:09,130
They'll come.
41
00:02:09,237 --> 00:02:10,452
You invited half the college.
42
00:02:10,558 --> 00:02:12,710
All I know is that it involves my dick getting damp.
43
00:02:14,317 --> 00:02:16,891
What are you looking at, you posh student bastards?
44
00:02:16,997 --> 00:02:18,192
Fuck off back to playgroup.
45
00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:22,151
Fucking wankers, come here.
Come here...
46
00:02:23,396 --> 00:02:24,871
Come on, leave it. Forget 'em.
47
00:02:25,595 --> 00:02:28,690
Ah, we're here.
48
00:02:28,795 --> 00:02:30,352
Best pub in the west.
49
00:02:32,676 --> 00:02:33,971
Hello boys.
50
00:02:34,078 --> 00:02:35,131
All right, Christina.
51
00:02:35,237 --> 00:02:37,730
Ay, ay lads, here's the birthday boy.
52
00:02:37,837 --> 00:02:38,850
Did you do all this?
53
00:02:38,957 --> 00:02:42,451
Took me a long time, a good forty, forty five minutes.
54
00:02:42,555 --> 00:02:44,092
Ooh.
55
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:45,530
You all right?
56
00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:49,010
Touch of pain in the privates, it's the old whore wound.
57
00:02:49,117 --> 00:02:50,773
Nothing I can't handle.
58
00:02:50,878 --> 00:02:54,771
Oh, these are me boys, Freddie, JJ. Boys, this is Uncle Keith.
59
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,012
Hello.
60
00:02:56,115 --> 00:02:57,353
Pull my finger!
61
00:03:04,758 --> 00:03:07,231
You dirty old bugger!
62
00:03:10,198 --> 00:03:12,210
If you'd be so kind, Christina?
63
00:03:12,316 --> 00:03:14,833
Right you are, big boy.
64
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:19,330
And when I woke up, the pool was three feet deep in piss.
65
00:03:19,436 --> 00:03:22,010
Mum, I shouted, don't jump in!
But it was too late.
66
00:03:22,115 --> 00:03:26,490
So, you and the Buxton Rovers under 21s managed to do that in one night?
67
00:03:26,598 --> 00:03:30,251
Just me, the lads, and a shit load of all-inclusive mild.
68
00:03:30,356 --> 00:03:31,810
And they never pinned it on me.
69
00:03:31,918 --> 00:03:35,090
Plus, you got to remember, this was 1962.
70
00:03:35,195 --> 00:03:38,172
I mean, Pontin's was a fairly permissive place back then.
71
00:03:38,278 --> 00:03:40,771
Bit like Afghanistan in the '70s.
72
00:03:40,876 --> 00:03:44,011
But with the Krankies and slightly more Taliban.
73
00:03:44,117 --> 00:03:46,212
Tell that one where you hit Bob Dylan over the head
74
00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:48,091
with a box of fish fingers.
75
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:51,730
Another time.
I've gotta go and see a man about a dog.
76
00:03:51,835 --> 00:03:53,651
A dog filled with drugs.
77
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:57,431
See you boys.
Oh, happy birthday, Cookie.
78
00:04:04,555 --> 00:04:07,573
That, my friends, is what you call a legend.
79
00:04:07,675 --> 00:04:09,050
To who, exactly?
80
00:04:09,158 --> 00:04:10,091
What?
81
00:04:10,198 --> 00:04:12,011
Who is he a legend to?
82
00:04:12,116 --> 00:04:13,850
Me.
83
00:04:13,955 --> 00:04:15,992
Blokes in pubs. Christina.
84
00:04:16,555 --> 00:04:17,491
People.
85
00:04:17,596 --> 00:04:18,551
I think the guy's crazy.
86
00:04:18,656 --> 00:04:20,870
Exactly man. Exactly.
87
00:04:22,355 --> 00:04:23,711
Same again please, Christina.
88
00:04:28,397 --> 00:04:29,772
Wey!
89
00:04:29,877 --> 00:04:33,333
Look, man. Look at that.
Quality totty. That's top shelf shit.
90
00:04:33,437 --> 00:04:35,332
Guys, guys, hey baby...
91
00:04:35,435 --> 00:04:38,572
I'm so happy to introduce you to my legendary night out
92
00:04:38,675 --> 00:04:40,252
in celebration of my birthday.
93
00:04:40,357 --> 00:04:41,252
Apart from you.
94
00:04:41,358 --> 00:04:42,370
But I...
95
00:04:42,477 --> 00:04:44,972
What are you doing here!
You burnt my house, man! Get out!
96
00:04:45,075 --> 00:04:47,892
It was an accident. I'm sorry...
97
00:04:47,998 --> 00:04:49,191
What the fuck!
98
00:04:50,478 --> 00:04:53,370
I'm 17 today, so all bets are off.
Do what the fuck you like.
99
00:04:53,477 --> 00:04:56,130
Flush your mates down the toilet.
Eat grapes off each other.
100
00:04:56,237 --> 00:04:57,732
Smash speakers over your heads.
101
00:04:57,836 --> 00:05:00,371
If partying's a crime, who's gonna get arrested first?
102
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:03,071
LET'S GO FUCKING MENTAL!
103
00:05:05,918 --> 00:05:08,173
Way hey hey hey hey!
104
00:05:08,276 --> 00:05:10,011
Party people!
105
00:05:10,116 --> 00:05:12,371
"For he's a jolly good fellow
106
00:05:12,476 --> 00:05:14,733
For he's a jolly good fellow
107
00:05:14,837 --> 00:05:18,393
For he's a jolly good fellow
108
00:05:19,676 --> 00:05:21,631
And so say all of us."
109
00:05:23,037 --> 00:05:25,611
Thanks man, thank you very much.
110
00:05:25,715 --> 00:05:26,892
What's next?
111
00:05:26,996 --> 00:05:30,093
Oh, yeah. More drinks! More drinks!
112
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:33,370
More drinks! More drinks! More drinks! More drinks! Yeah?
113
00:05:33,477 --> 00:05:35,953
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah...
114
00:05:36,476 --> 00:05:37,412
He's fun.
115
00:05:37,515 --> 00:05:38,493
You have no idea.
116
00:05:38,597 --> 00:05:40,530
He's already had half a bottle of vodka.
117
00:05:40,636 --> 00:05:42,291
Really? How crazy!
118
00:05:42,398 --> 00:05:44,010
Ha ha ha. Yeah!
119
00:05:44,116 --> 00:05:46,212
Tequila! Who's in?
120
00:05:46,316 --> 00:05:47,572
Yeah... ok.
121
00:05:47,676 --> 00:05:48,731
Anyone else?
122
00:05:48,835 --> 00:05:50,490
Yeah, go on then. Yeah.
123
00:05:50,598 --> 00:05:51,731
Airwolf.
124
00:05:51,835 --> 00:05:53,432
Let's go, man.
125
00:05:53,556 --> 00:05:55,230
Awoo!
126
00:05:56,435 --> 00:05:58,110
Awoo!
127
00:05:58,998 --> 00:05:59,952
Awoo!
128
00:06:01,038 --> 00:06:02,231
Awoo!
129
00:06:03,318 --> 00:06:04,630
Awoo!
130
00:06:05,478 --> 00:06:07,192
Awoo!
131
00:06:08,197 --> 00:06:09,532
Awooooooooo.
132
00:06:09,638 --> 00:06:10,412
Awooooo!
133
00:06:10,516 --> 00:06:11,490
Awooooo.
134
00:06:11,598 --> 00:06:13,850
Hey, Cook.
Do you wanna see your birthday trick?
135
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:14,990
Lay it on me, magic man.
136
00:06:15,096 --> 00:06:17,093
One pint of normal drinking water.
137
00:06:17,197 --> 00:06:19,093
You'll like this one.
I've seen it before.
138
00:06:19,197 --> 00:06:20,633
What? He does magic?
139
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,471
Wow!
140
00:06:26,518 --> 00:06:29,991
Shazam, motherfucker!
141
00:06:35,158 --> 00:06:36,213
Cook, what you doing?
142
00:06:36,317 --> 00:06:38,110
That's minging.
143
00:06:43,590 --> 00:06:44,970
What is wrong with you?
144
00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:47,150
Yes! Come on!
145
00:06:49,915 --> 00:06:51,178
Someone's been drinking...
146
00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:53,090
milkshake?
147
00:06:53,198 --> 00:06:54,651
Strawberry milkshake.
Am I right?
148
00:06:54,757 --> 00:06:55,930
Yes. How did you know?
149
00:06:56,036 --> 00:06:57,970
Ah, am I ninja, or am I not a ninja?
150
00:06:58,075 --> 00:06:59,772
Christina, we've had rejection.
151
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,850
We need a bucket, a mop
152
00:07:01,957 --> 00:07:05,830
and 16 shots of tequilaaaaaa!
153
00:07:22,627 --> 00:07:26,082
Oh, great, it's the lesbian come to gay us up.
154
00:07:26,187 --> 00:07:28,882
Shh... I've told you to fucking... Just leave it, ok!
155
00:07:28,988 --> 00:07:30,362
Um. Hi, everyone.
156
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:32,023
Hi.
157
00:07:37,228 --> 00:07:38,321
Want to know a secret?
158
00:07:38,427 --> 00:07:39,682
What?
159
00:07:39,785 --> 00:07:40,800
I know the cure.
160
00:07:40,907 --> 00:07:42,800
The cure for what?
161
00:07:42,908 --> 00:07:44,662
It's my cock.
162
00:07:45,908 --> 00:07:48,263
What the hell are you talking about?
163
00:07:50,747 --> 00:07:52,480
Hey, look what I made.
164
00:07:52,587 --> 00:07:54,963
Cake! Top, man, fucking top!
165
00:07:55,065 --> 00:07:56,962
It's double chocolate chip cookie.
166
00:07:57,065 --> 00:07:58,240
Cheers, girl. Mmmm.
167
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,261
Cake. My cake! Mine!
168
00:08:19,947 --> 00:08:21,780
Fucking good, man...
169
00:08:32,828 --> 00:08:34,303
Thank you, man.
170
00:08:42,947 --> 00:08:46,042
Uh!
171
00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:47,082
You ok?
172
00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:49,682
Yep. Totally cool.
Just a bit...
173
00:08:49,785 --> 00:08:51,883
you know, full.
174
00:08:51,988 --> 00:08:53,473
Can't believe you ate the whole thing.
175
00:08:53,578 --> 00:08:55,223
Someone had to get this party started.
176
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:57,761
Party? Do you call this a party?
177
00:08:57,865 --> 00:08:59,443
Where's the conversation?
178
00:08:59,545 --> 00:09:01,781
Where's the dancing?
Where are the men?
179
00:09:01,886 --> 00:09:02,581
We're men.
180
00:09:02,685 --> 00:09:03,562
You're boys.
181
00:09:03,665 --> 00:09:06,801
Do you want to measure my dick?
It's daddy-sized.
182
00:09:06,906 --> 00:09:08,510
So you lot think this party's shit, yeah?
183
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:09,441
It's a little bit...
184
00:09:09,547 --> 00:09:10,501
It could be...
185
00:09:10,605 --> 00:09:11,802
It's shit.
186
00:09:19,108 --> 00:09:21,081
Shit.
187
00:09:21,188 --> 00:09:22,803
Something's got to happen, man.
188
00:09:22,906 --> 00:09:24,923
Something big.
189
00:09:25,028 --> 00:09:26,080
Come on, man.
190
00:09:26,188 --> 00:09:28,761
I'm ready! Just tell me when.
191
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,340
Give me a sign!
192
00:09:32,148 --> 00:09:34,923
Oh, yeah! Yeah! Thank you, man...
193
00:09:35,027 --> 00:09:36,921
What?
194
00:09:37,027 --> 00:09:38,720
But where are you, I can't hear...
195
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:40,882
I don't have anything, ok?
196
00:09:40,987 --> 00:09:41,883
Who is it?
197
00:09:41,985 --> 00:09:42,920
My sister, Karen.
198
00:09:43,026 --> 00:09:43,923
Tell her I said hi.
199
00:09:44,026 --> 00:09:46,121
No, I haven't got anything, ok?
200
00:09:46,225 --> 00:09:50,603
You'll have to find your own.
No, I don't have any drugs! Bye.
201
00:09:50,705 --> 00:09:51,883
Why couldn't you hear her?
202
00:09:51,985 --> 00:09:54,703
She's at some engagement party.
Her mate Kayleigh's getting hitched.
203
00:09:54,908 --> 00:09:58,483
So it'll be free bar, free entry, that kind of thing?
204
00:09:58,585 --> 00:10:00,362
Yeah, I suppose, why?
205
00:10:00,468 --> 00:10:01,642
No.
206
00:10:01,745 --> 00:10:03,562
No, no, no, no, no. No way!
207
00:10:03,668 --> 00:10:05,000
Why not?
208
00:10:05,107 --> 00:10:07,440
Cos my sister's there, and I don't want to see her.
209
00:10:07,545 --> 00:10:09,002
Plus, she doesn't
like you very much.
210
00:10:09,105 --> 00:10:11,601
Why not? I'm always touching her and flirting with her.
211
00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:12,401
Yeah.
212
00:10:12,508 --> 00:10:15,002
Her tits stand to attention when I'm around. I've seen it.
213
00:10:15,107 --> 00:10:17,502
Listen to me, we're not going. No.
214
00:10:17,605 --> 00:10:20,163
No. No way.
215
00:10:21,867 --> 00:10:28,782
Come on everybody, cos, yeah we going to a party!
216
00:10:28,948 --> 00:10:30,460
All right?
217
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,142
Not coming in.
218
00:10:33,245 --> 00:10:33,941
Why not?
219
00:10:34,048 --> 00:10:35,162
Private party.
220
00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:36,761
Plus underage.
221
00:10:36,865 --> 00:10:39,643
Plus don't like look of you. Not coming in.
222
00:10:39,746 --> 00:10:42,281
Listen to me, robot.
223
00:10:42,385 --> 00:10:45,283
You may rank way above me in terms of strength and size,
224
00:10:45,387 --> 00:10:47,760
but at least I can love.
225
00:10:47,866 --> 00:10:49,381
Now can you let me in?
226
00:10:50,986 --> 00:10:52,542
Not coming in.
227
00:10:54,426 --> 00:10:56,721
Listen, fate has brought me here.
228
00:10:56,826 --> 00:10:59,481
Do you understand? You're not letting fate in the club.
229
00:10:59,586 --> 00:11:01,562
It's not like fate is wearing trainers.
230
00:11:01,665 --> 00:11:04,161
Fate just wants a couple of drinks, a little dance.
231
00:11:04,268 --> 00:11:07,722
And fate is actually also desperate for the toilet. Now can we come in?
232
00:11:07,826 --> 00:11:09,800
How about you fuck off?
233
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:11,723
How about you're a fucking cock?
234
00:11:11,825 --> 00:11:13,500
I'll fucking break your fucking face, mate!
235
00:11:13,608 --> 00:11:15,161
What?
236
00:11:15,266 --> 00:11:17,840
I said I'll fucking break your fucking face.
237
00:11:17,946 --> 00:11:20,162
You'll get your fucking head kicked in here!
238
00:11:20,268 --> 00:11:22,322
Come on! Fucking prick.
239
00:11:22,428 --> 00:11:23,360
Just chill out, yeah?
240
00:11:23,468 --> 00:11:25,122
I don't think he's going to let us in.
241
00:11:25,228 --> 00:11:27,361
Nah, he's just an obstacle.
242
00:11:27,466 --> 00:11:29,083
We're meant to go this party.
243
00:11:29,186 --> 00:11:31,000
Fate'll sort it. Just wait.
244
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,560
Brilliant. Idiot. He's such a fucking tosser.
245
00:11:33,665 --> 00:11:36,041
Freddie?! What the fuck are you doing here?
246
00:11:36,145 --> 00:11:37,521
Hi, Karen.
247
00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:38,980
You can't come in. It's private.
248
00:11:39,108 --> 00:11:40,221
It's Cook's birthday.
249
00:11:40,328 --> 00:11:43,052
Unless you've got drugs, fuck off, and take your friends with you.
250
00:11:43,165 --> 00:11:44,630
Oh, come on Karen.
251
00:11:44,735 --> 00:11:46,791
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
252
00:11:46,898 --> 00:11:49,911
Yeah. Look, it's not my decision. It's her party.
253
00:11:50,017 --> 00:11:51,791
I'm getting married.
254
00:11:51,896 --> 00:11:53,131
Congratulations.
255
00:11:56,818 --> 00:11:58,051
Jesus.
256
00:12:03,017 --> 00:12:05,111
Will you let us in?
257
00:12:05,217 --> 00:12:07,111
Well, there is a pretty strict dress code.
258
00:12:07,218 --> 00:12:11,212
How strict exactly?
259
00:12:29,175 --> 00:12:31,592
Let's cock and roll, baby!
260
00:12:31,695 --> 00:12:34,353
Isn't it lush?
Daddy says nothing's too good for me.
261
00:12:34,457 --> 00:12:38,113
You got that right, babe.
So, who you marrying?
262
00:12:38,217 --> 00:12:40,793
Oh, just some guy.
He's a bit of a twat.
263
00:12:40,895 --> 00:12:42,371
Ah, cheers, man.
264
00:12:43,498 --> 00:12:45,270
When she said "party"...
265
00:12:45,378 --> 00:12:49,551
You thought she meant an acid-fuelled
sex rave without the Mancunians.
266
00:12:49,655 --> 00:12:50,833
This is more...
267
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,530
Jelly and ice cream.
268
00:12:53,577 --> 00:12:55,511
Uhh, get it down you, girls.
269
00:12:55,617 --> 00:12:57,573
Top freebies, yeah? Love it.
270
00:13:01,845 --> 00:13:02,540
I hate champagne.
271
00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:04,492
Then why you fucking
drinking it, then?
272
00:13:04,595 --> 00:13:05,351
It's free.
273
00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:07,153
Dad!
274
00:13:07,258 --> 00:13:07,953
Kaleigh-kins.
275
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:11,133
Hi! This is Cookie...
276
00:13:12,975 --> 00:13:14,731
Finish your drink, kid.
277
00:13:15,856 --> 00:13:18,113
Have as much as you like.
278
00:13:18,217 --> 00:13:21,952
Nothing's too good for my Kayleigh... right?
279
00:13:22,058 --> 00:13:24,873
And I wouldn't want anything to ruin the evening...
280
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:26,992
drop the tone...
281
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,791
Anything at all.
282
00:13:28,898 --> 00:13:31,193
Ok?
283
00:13:31,295 --> 00:13:32,490
Right you are.
284
00:13:35,456 --> 00:13:38,192
Enjoy.
285
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:41,510
Kayleigh. You're almost a woman...
286
00:13:41,615 --> 00:13:43,150
Thanks, Daddy.
287
00:13:43,258 --> 00:13:45,692
Almost.
288
00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:53,490
See you around, Cookie.
289
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,451
You twat. Didn't you know?
290
00:13:57,557 --> 00:13:59,492
Fuck it, man.
I'm just getting started.
291
00:13:59,597 --> 00:14:00,293
What's the fuss?
292
00:14:00,395 --> 00:14:02,741
He's Johnny White.
The gangster.
293
00:14:02,845 --> 00:14:03,542
Yeah. Legend.
294
00:14:03,646 --> 00:14:05,652
He murdered those two nuns over a pint of Guinness.
295
00:14:05,756 --> 00:14:06,452
Allegedly.
296
00:14:06,576 --> 00:14:09,230
I hear he stabbed a policeman in the neck with a stuffed guillemot.
297
00:14:09,337 --> 00:14:12,512
That's so not true.
It was a puffin.
298
00:14:13,778 --> 00:14:15,590
So. Who's for narcotics?
299
00:14:15,696 --> 00:14:16,393
Me.
300
00:14:16,496 --> 00:14:17,192
Me.
301
00:14:17,298 --> 00:14:18,350
Me.
302
00:14:18,456 --> 00:14:19,152
Me?
303
00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:20,511
What?
304
00:14:20,617 --> 00:14:22,532
I've decided I love drugs.
305
00:14:31,855 --> 00:14:34,193
Aah.
306
00:14:34,297 --> 00:14:36,430
Rum punch.
307
00:14:36,536 --> 00:14:38,113
What is it?
308
00:14:38,215 --> 00:14:40,070
Uncle Keith's special blend.
309
00:14:40,177 --> 00:14:42,913
A hallucinogenic opiate and stimulant.
310
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:45,710
Four hours of THC giggles and MDMA highs
311
00:14:45,816 --> 00:14:48,432
with a transcendental kicker.
312
00:14:48,535 --> 00:14:50,551
Sounds good.
313
00:14:50,655 --> 00:14:52,030
Well, come on, then. Jesus.
314
00:14:52,138 --> 00:14:54,191
All in good time, babes.
Weird girl?
315
00:14:54,296 --> 00:14:54,991
Yeah?
316
00:14:55,097 --> 00:14:55,791
Hold that.
317
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:59,531
Fuck's sakes, are we getting any or what?!
318
00:15:02,098 --> 00:15:05,031
No, no, no. Wait!
319
00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:06,913
Hang on, what you doing?
320
00:15:07,015 --> 00:15:08,003
What?
321
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:08,800
Was that wrong?
322
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:09,950
Did you just swallow my drugs?
323
00:15:10,057 --> 00:15:12,191
She's fucking finished it!
It tastes horrible!
324
00:15:12,298 --> 00:15:14,110
You're not supposed to eat it!
325
00:15:14,216 --> 00:15:15,913
It goes up the nose, you twat.
326
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,770
Let's go fly a kite, girl!
327
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:19,572
What about us?
328
00:15:19,676 --> 00:15:21,852
Well, you can drink some of the weird girl's blood,
329
00:15:21,958 --> 00:15:24,190
she's like a walking syringe.
330
00:15:24,295 --> 00:15:25,393
My mouth's gone all numb.
331
00:15:25,495 --> 00:15:27,312
I'm not surprised!
332
00:15:27,418 --> 00:15:29,431
We've done ours, let's go!
333
00:15:29,538 --> 00:15:33,430
Come on Panders, we're out of here.
334
00:15:33,537 --> 00:15:35,133
I said you shouldn't have let them in.
335
00:15:35,236 --> 00:15:36,250
Where's the love?
336
00:15:36,356 --> 00:15:37,813
You're a wanker, James.
337
00:15:43,697 --> 00:15:45,993
You will get us some more, won't you, Cookie?
338
00:15:46,098 --> 00:15:47,431
Yeah.
339
00:15:47,536 --> 00:15:49,753
Cos if you could,
340
00:15:49,858 --> 00:15:52,993
that would be... God...
341
00:15:53,096 --> 00:15:56,013
really, really great.
342
00:16:14,657 --> 00:16:16,270
I need more class A drugs, quick.
343
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:17,352
Why?
344
00:16:17,455 --> 00:16:19,312
Cos that Kayleigh girl just gave me the look.
345
00:16:19,415 --> 00:16:21,391
What sort of look is that?
346
00:16:21,496 --> 00:16:22,692
This one.
347
00:16:24,618 --> 00:16:26,390
Right. I see what you mean.
348
00:16:26,495 --> 00:16:29,191
Freddie, we've got to get this man some drugs.
349
00:16:29,298 --> 00:16:31,252
Why? Do the look.
350
00:16:33,178 --> 00:16:34,073
What does that mean?
351
00:16:34,177 --> 00:16:36,632
It means I'm getting laid tonight, Fred.
352
00:16:36,738 --> 00:16:39,550
Please, not Kayleigh.
Think of me and JJ.
353
00:16:39,658 --> 00:16:40,953
You're not fucking her.
354
00:16:41,056 --> 00:16:42,313
I thought you liked Effy.
355
00:16:42,415 --> 00:16:45,751
Yeah, she's a peach. But I already tapped that. Top-dollar shag.
356
00:16:45,855 --> 00:16:47,871
She's my last resort.
Sure thing, I reckon.
357
00:16:47,977 --> 00:16:49,870
You shagged Effy?
358
00:16:49,977 --> 00:16:52,473
Oh, come on, Freds.
359
00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:53,632
When?
360
00:16:53,735 --> 00:16:55,090
First day I met her.
361
00:16:59,217 --> 00:17:01,910
Why didn't you tell us?
362
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,473
Because apart from those times when my cock is up your arse,
363
00:17:04,577 --> 00:17:07,353
you have no reason to worry about where it is the rest of the time.
364
00:17:07,457 --> 00:17:08,851
But...
365
00:17:10,058 --> 00:17:12,291
JJ likes her.
366
00:17:13,857 --> 00:17:16,032
I was going to ask her out.
I mean,
367
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:17,672
she seemed like she liked me.
368
00:17:17,778 --> 00:17:19,871
You snooze, you lose, dude. I've got a snake
369
00:17:19,978 --> 00:17:22,251
in my dick that's about to throw up.
370
00:17:41,618 --> 00:17:44,912
Naomi. Wait!
371
00:17:45,017 --> 00:17:46,713
What?
372
00:17:46,818 --> 00:17:47,793
Where are you going?
373
00:17:47,898 --> 00:17:49,512
Home.
374
00:17:49,615 --> 00:17:51,712
Don't go.
375
00:17:51,817 --> 00:17:52,870
Why not?
376
00:17:52,978 --> 00:17:56,011
I dunno. Because...
377
00:17:59,216 --> 00:18:02,430
Why does your sister think I'm gay?
378
00:18:02,535 --> 00:18:03,730
Sorry.
379
00:18:05,337 --> 00:18:07,373
See you around, Emily.
380
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:10,913
Thank you. Yes, please.
381
00:18:11,016 --> 00:18:13,033
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
382
00:18:13,138 --> 00:18:14,833
The father of the bride,
383
00:18:14,935 --> 00:18:17,290
Mr Johnny White.
384
00:18:23,615 --> 00:18:26,673
So. My daughter's getting married
385
00:18:26,776 --> 00:18:30,652
and she couldn't have chosen a nicer bloke... Steve Heston.
386
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:35,473
Unfortunately, Steve couldn't attend today without violating
387
00:18:35,575 --> 00:18:38,911
the terms of his probation.
He couldn't be here himself,
388
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,592
but he is well represented by members of his family.
389
00:18:41,697 --> 00:18:44,751
Welcome, Hestons.
No more rucks.
390
00:18:44,855 --> 00:18:48,070
No more knives. No more pliers.
391
00:18:48,176 --> 00:18:50,431
We're gonna be tight as a badger's bum.
392
00:18:50,536 --> 00:18:54,191
The Whites and the Hestons brought together in the marriage bed,
393
00:18:54,296 --> 00:18:57,372
still fucking each other, but in a good way.
394
00:19:00,577 --> 00:19:02,212
Come up here, sweetheart.
395
00:19:12,256 --> 00:19:14,672
You've kept yourself pure for so long
396
00:19:14,776 --> 00:19:17,191
for this task of peace.
397
00:19:17,295 --> 00:19:20,513
In times of strife, you've lit up my life,
398
00:19:20,616 --> 00:19:22,372
and now you're gonna be Steve's wife.
399
00:19:28,336 --> 00:19:31,153
And I just want to say...
400
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,851
Don't she look a picture?
401
00:19:38,698 --> 00:19:39,932
I could just eat her.
402
00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:52,552
Right, charge your glasses with free booze, and raise 'em.
403
00:19:52,655 --> 00:19:54,131
Kayleigh and Steve.
404
00:19:59,536 --> 00:20:02,033
Pandora, wake up, you dozy cow.
405
00:20:02,136 --> 00:20:04,853
Hi. It's me.
406
00:20:06,938 --> 00:20:08,730
I need a favour.
407
00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:17,583
Uncle Keith!
408
00:20:17,685 --> 00:20:18,621
All right, Cookie?
409
00:20:18,725 --> 00:20:20,100
Cheers.
410
00:20:20,208 --> 00:20:21,103
Not a problem.
411
00:20:21,206 --> 00:20:22,941
There you go.
412
00:20:23,048 --> 00:20:24,783
Direct from Weston-super-Mare.
413
00:20:24,888 --> 00:20:26,583
You're a lifesaver, Keith.
414
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:29,940
Gotta go, Cook.
Gotta see a dog about a bone.
415
00:20:30,047 --> 00:20:31,642
A bone that is my cock.
416
00:20:35,245 --> 00:20:36,181
Get it out, then.
417
00:20:36,288 --> 00:20:37,821
Ok.
418
00:20:37,928 --> 00:20:40,222
Not that. The drugs, idiot.
419
00:20:40,325 --> 00:20:42,600
Oh, ok.
420
00:20:46,605 --> 00:20:47,961
Thank you.
421
00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:55,081
Ooh!
422
00:20:57,368 --> 00:20:58,621
Is that all you're doing?
423
00:20:58,728 --> 00:21:00,422
Yep.
424
00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,942
That was a hamster-sized bump.
Don't you want any more?
425
00:21:03,048 --> 00:21:04,080
No.
426
00:21:04,808 --> 00:21:06,403
Ok.
427
00:21:08,046 --> 00:21:09,343
So...
428
00:21:09,445 --> 00:21:11,200
So.
429
00:21:13,047 --> 00:21:14,461
Ok, I'll see you later!
430
00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:16,620
What? I thought we were gonna bone.
431
00:21:16,728 --> 00:21:18,421
And what made you think that?
432
00:21:18,525 --> 00:21:20,782
You've had the drugs and you gave me the look. What look?
433
00:21:20,886 --> 00:21:22,181
This one.
434
00:21:22,288 --> 00:21:24,261
That's the "I'll fuck for drugs" look.
435
00:21:24,365 --> 00:21:26,740
Now stop arguing and
get on my cock. No.
436
00:21:26,848 --> 00:21:28,742
Blow me, then. My dick is clean.
437
00:21:28,845 --> 00:21:30,760
I don't care!
Hand-job?
438
00:21:30,867 --> 00:21:33,722
But you've got to let me have a go
on your tits whilst you're doing it.
439
00:21:33,828 --> 00:21:35,023
Listen...
440
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:39,821
If anyone's going to get a lick of my fanny, they'll have to impress me.
441
00:21:39,926 --> 00:21:41,941
So... if you do...
442
00:21:42,045 --> 00:21:44,181
I'll let you stick it anywhere.
443
00:21:44,288 --> 00:21:49,942
My tits, my arse, my armpit...
444
00:21:50,046 --> 00:21:51,483
anywhere.
445
00:21:55,008 --> 00:21:57,100
You're filthy.
446
00:21:57,205 --> 00:21:58,523
Yes, I am.
447
00:21:59,646 --> 00:22:05,121
And look, no knickers.
Whoops. See ya!
448
00:22:11,525 --> 00:22:13,521
OK.
449
00:22:32,166 --> 00:22:34,141
What's he doing now?
450
00:22:34,246 --> 00:22:35,743
Is he going to sing?
451
00:22:35,845 --> 00:22:37,303
Yeah.
452
00:22:37,406 --> 00:22:39,340
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to dedicate this
453
00:22:39,446 --> 00:22:41,923
to a very special lady.
454
00:22:45,488 --> 00:22:47,843
Oh, shit.
This is going to be bad.
455
00:22:56,847 --> 00:23:02,180
I've been alive forever
456
00:23:02,286 --> 00:23:06,582
And I wrote the very first song
457
00:23:06,688 --> 00:23:07,763
Go on, my son.
458
00:23:08,725 --> 00:23:14,941
"I put the words and the melodies together
459
00:23:15,048 --> 00:23:19,641
I am music, and I write the songs
460
00:23:22,846 --> 00:23:28,662
I write the songs that make the whole world sing
461
00:23:28,766 --> 00:23:34,241
I write the songs of love and special things
462
00:23:36,086 --> 00:23:41,283
I write the songs that make those young girls cry
463
00:23:42,327 --> 00:23:46,282
I write the songs I write the songs
464
00:23:47,928 --> 00:23:50,340
Oh, my music makes you dance
465
00:23:50,447 --> 00:23:53,483
And gives you spirit to take a chance
466
00:23:55,008 --> 00:24:01,621
And I wrote some rock 'n' roll so you can move
467
00:24:01,727 --> 00:24:04,063
Music fills your heart
468
00:24:04,166 --> 00:24:07,302
Well, that's a real fine place to start
469
00:24:07,408 --> 00:24:09,781
It's from me, it's for you
470
00:24:09,886 --> 00:24:11,820
It's from you, it's for me
471
00:24:11,926 --> 00:24:16,222
It's a worldwide symphony
472
00:24:16,326 --> 00:24:22,161
I write the songs that make the whole world sing
473
00:24:23,325 --> 00:24:28,882
I write the songs of love and special things
474
00:24:30,327 --> 00:24:36,980
I write the songs that make the young girls cry
475
00:24:37,087 --> 00:24:40,401
I write the songs I write the songs
476
00:24:43,327 --> 00:24:49,542
I write the songs that make the whole world sing
477
00:24:49,648 --> 00:24:55,823
I write the songs of love and special things
478
00:24:55,927 --> 00:25:01,643
I write the songs that make the young girls cry
479
00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:06,801
I write the songs I write the songs
480
00:25:12,287 --> 00:25:17,963
I am music and I write the songs..."
481
00:25:37,538 --> 00:25:39,230
I'm upset, Cookie.
482
00:25:39,337 --> 00:25:41,150
You made me look like a fucking idiot
483
00:25:41,256 --> 00:25:42,650
and I'm not used to that, you know?
484
00:25:42,756 --> 00:25:43,893
Are you sure?
485
00:25:44,978 --> 00:25:46,190
Stick him up on there.
486
00:25:46,297 --> 00:25:49,650
I wanna teach this fucker a lesson he'll never forget.
487
00:25:54,337 --> 00:25:57,231
See? You tried to ruin my lovely party.
488
00:25:57,337 --> 00:26:02,190
And now, really really bad things are gonna happen.
489
00:26:02,297 --> 00:26:04,493
It was worth it.
Her tits were mint.
490
00:26:05,778 --> 00:26:07,952
Mr... Mr White.
491
00:26:08,058 --> 00:26:12,230
He's very sorry.
I'll take him home, and we're leaving.
492
00:26:12,338 --> 00:26:16,270
We don't want to upset your beautiful daughter any more.
493
00:26:16,377 --> 00:26:18,632
You're right.
494
00:26:18,737 --> 00:26:20,993
She is beautiful.
495
00:26:21,097 --> 00:26:24,331
It's your lucky day.
496
00:26:25,535 --> 00:26:26,490
Let him go.
497
00:26:27,656 --> 00:26:28,351
Aaaaargh!
498
00:26:28,456 --> 00:26:30,230
Not like that, you tossers!
499
00:26:30,336 --> 00:26:31,411
My fucking dress!
500
00:26:31,518 --> 00:26:33,731
Fucking hell, Johnny, you fucking told... Oh, fuck.
501
00:26:33,836 --> 00:26:35,093
Oh, God, whoopsey!
502
00:26:37,495 --> 00:26:39,053
Fuck!
503
00:26:42,016 --> 00:26:45,711
Look at my tracksuit, you weasely little prick!
504
00:26:45,816 --> 00:26:47,491
What'd you say?
505
00:26:49,098 --> 00:26:51,652
You're a weasely cunting prick!
506
00:26:52,738 --> 00:26:53,950
You fucking Hobbit!
507
00:26:54,058 --> 00:26:56,112
And we've all fucked your daughter.
Ain't we lads?
508
00:26:56,218 --> 00:26:59,472
Yeah!
509
00:26:59,578 --> 00:27:00,890
What'd you fucking say?
510
00:27:01,978 --> 00:27:03,932
Aaah, fuckers!!!
511
00:27:24,538 --> 00:27:28,872
Kayleigh, is it too late to say I'm sorry?
512
00:27:28,975 --> 00:27:34,033
Kayleigh, could we get it together again?
513
00:27:34,137 --> 00:27:37,951
I just can't go on pretending
514
00:27:38,057 --> 00:27:40,793
That it came to a natural end...
515
00:27:40,897 --> 00:27:43,251
Pffft!
516
00:27:56,416 --> 00:27:57,651
Get out, get out!
517
00:28:22,418 --> 00:28:24,833
Ok. That's far enough.
518
00:28:24,937 --> 00:28:26,111
Cool party!
519
00:28:26,218 --> 00:28:27,711
Cheers.
520
00:28:27,818 --> 00:28:29,030
You're fucking unbelievable.
521
00:28:31,478 --> 00:28:32,650
I needed to get laid, man.
522
00:28:32,758 --> 00:28:34,631
You're always fucking trying to get laid.
523
00:28:34,737 --> 00:28:37,131
I try. I succeed. Right?
524
00:28:39,735 --> 00:28:42,492
Speaking of which, any of you girls fancy it?
525
00:28:44,298 --> 00:28:47,811
No, thanks. You're repulsive!
526
00:28:51,217 --> 00:28:53,911
Weird girl.
527
00:28:54,015 --> 00:28:55,510
You're beautiful, but no.
528
00:28:55,617 --> 00:28:58,492
My tuppence feels all funny.
529
00:29:03,655 --> 00:29:05,351
How about it then, Peachy?
530
00:29:05,457 --> 00:29:07,373
Looks like it's just me and you.
531
00:29:16,898 --> 00:29:19,133
Come on, Amy Winehouse. Home.
532
00:29:20,737 --> 00:29:22,972
See ya!
533
00:29:26,697 --> 00:29:28,391
Come on, we'll go somewhere else.
534
00:29:28,496 --> 00:29:29,672
Somewhere with women.
535
00:29:29,778 --> 00:29:31,513
Nah.
536
00:29:31,618 --> 00:29:32,543
I ain't going anywhere.
537
00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:33,412
Why the fuck not?
538
00:29:33,516 --> 00:29:34,351
I'm tired.
539
00:29:34,455 --> 00:29:36,671
I'm going home, all right?
540
00:29:36,778 --> 00:29:41,150
It's two o'clock. What the fuck are you talking about, "you're tired"?
541
00:29:41,256 --> 00:29:43,491
I'm tired of you, mate.
542
00:29:44,538 --> 00:29:46,032
What's that supposed to mean?
543
00:29:46,136 --> 00:29:48,972
It means I can't look after you any more.
544
00:29:51,497 --> 00:29:52,852
I can't do it.
545
00:29:55,698 --> 00:29:58,551
Oh, fuck you then!
546
00:29:58,655 --> 00:30:01,093
Go on, fuck off home!
547
00:30:05,296 --> 00:30:06,452
Coming then?
548
00:30:08,535 --> 00:30:10,292
Sure.
549
00:30:12,777 --> 00:30:14,652
Let's go find some fucking women.
550
00:30:31,178 --> 00:30:32,751
Hey, Cook,
551
00:30:32,856 --> 00:30:35,470
What is this place?
552
00:30:35,578 --> 00:30:37,351
Oh, it's just a club.
553
00:30:37,456 --> 00:30:38,871
Late night thing, you know?
554
00:30:38,977 --> 00:30:41,352
Lots of girls. Friendly.
555
00:30:41,456 --> 00:30:43,332
Oh, ok.
556
00:31:08,416 --> 00:31:10,293
Oh, my stars and garters!
557
00:31:12,095 --> 00:31:13,971
All right, my lover?
558
00:31:27,778 --> 00:31:31,351
Hello boys. Looking for a sex dance?
559
00:31:31,456 --> 00:31:32,711
You like Frankie?
560
00:31:32,817 --> 00:31:34,390
Hello, darlings.
561
00:31:34,495 --> 00:31:35,610
She's double jointed.
562
00:31:37,656 --> 00:31:39,353
So?
563
00:31:39,456 --> 00:31:42,232
Slinky! But we're actually after...
564
00:31:42,338 --> 00:31:43,990
the other service.
565
00:31:44,096 --> 00:31:45,272
Bit of the other?
566
00:31:45,378 --> 00:31:47,971
Stepping this way, please.
567
00:31:48,976 --> 00:31:50,193
The other service?
568
00:31:50,298 --> 00:31:52,833
Yeah. Tonight's your lucky night, GayJay.
569
00:31:52,936 --> 00:31:56,590
You get to lose your virginity to an odds-on moderately pretty girl.
570
00:31:56,697 --> 00:31:58,110
I'm not sure I want to.
571
00:31:58,218 --> 00:32:02,070
Listen to me. Are you a fucking scrawny little mousy queer boy,
572
00:32:02,175 --> 00:32:05,150
or are you a man with a functioning set of cock and balls?
573
00:32:05,258 --> 00:32:06,511
Um...
574
00:32:06,618 --> 00:32:07,673
the second one.
575
00:32:07,775 --> 00:32:09,733
Good. Come on, let's get our fuck on.
576
00:32:16,617 --> 00:32:17,993
So.
577
00:32:18,097 --> 00:32:20,552
What sort of thing are you looking for?
578
00:32:20,656 --> 00:32:22,313
I'd like a woman with big tits.
579
00:32:22,417 --> 00:32:23,750
And you?
580
00:32:23,857 --> 00:32:26,391
Er... same thing.
581
00:32:26,496 --> 00:32:28,472
But not too big, right?
582
00:32:28,578 --> 00:32:31,680
Yes, I know the perfect girls for you.
583
00:32:33,848 --> 00:32:36,361
Amber! Megan!
584
00:32:38,485 --> 00:32:39,860
Ha-ha! Yeeaaahh!!
585
00:32:39,965 --> 00:32:43,221
All right, gorgeous? This way.
586
00:32:43,326 --> 00:32:44,820
And Megan. Here she is.
587
00:32:44,928 --> 00:32:46,383
Hello!
588
00:32:46,485 --> 00:32:48,600
Oooh, curly hair!
589
00:32:50,846 --> 00:32:53,901
So, will you let me do anything I ask ya?
590
00:32:54,006 --> 00:32:55,720
Anything. But it'll cost you, mind.
591
00:32:55,825 --> 00:32:57,761
How much to whack you up the cracker?
592
00:32:57,865 --> 00:32:58,860
Hundred.
593
00:32:58,965 --> 00:33:00,203
Whoa!
594
00:33:01,247 --> 00:33:04,021
That's a lot more than I've got.
595
00:33:04,128 --> 00:33:06,382
How much for your straight ahead,
596
00:33:06,488 --> 00:33:08,261
run of the mill, bread and butter shag?
597
00:33:08,368 --> 00:33:10,180
75.
598
00:33:10,285 --> 00:33:11,660
What if I'm really good?
599
00:33:11,767 --> 00:33:13,841
It don't make no difference, darling.
600
00:33:15,128 --> 00:33:18,023
Ok. I'll guess I'll just have a hand-job then.
601
00:33:18,128 --> 00:33:19,241
All right.
602
00:33:28,848 --> 00:33:31,340
This your first time then?
603
00:33:31,448 --> 00:33:32,641
You got cash on you?
604
00:33:34,207 --> 00:33:35,301
Right. Tick sharp!
605
00:33:35,405 --> 00:33:37,623
Clothes off, we'll get you started.
606
00:33:37,727 --> 00:33:39,503
Come on then, let's have a look at it.
607
00:33:39,608 --> 00:33:40,741
Ok.
608
00:33:40,847 --> 00:33:43,521
You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
609
00:33:45,445 --> 00:33:47,821
Could I... kiss you?
610
00:33:47,927 --> 00:33:50,303
We don't do kissing.
611
00:33:50,407 --> 00:33:53,142
That's all I want to do.
612
00:33:53,246 --> 00:33:54,743
Sod it.
613
00:33:54,847 --> 00:33:57,223
Come on then.
614
00:33:57,326 --> 00:33:59,180
Could you... show me how?
615
00:33:59,287 --> 00:34:00,501
I've never really...
616
00:34:00,608 --> 00:34:02,342
You've never kissed a girl?
617
00:34:02,446 --> 00:34:04,220
No. Well...
618
00:34:04,325 --> 00:34:06,383
My mum. My Aunt Lucy.
619
00:34:06,485 --> 00:34:08,100
Right. Aunt Lucy.
620
00:34:08,207 --> 00:34:10,501
I'm sorry.
621
00:34:10,605 --> 00:34:12,081
Come here.
622
00:34:18,166 --> 00:34:19,820
That was nice!
623
00:34:19,927 --> 00:34:21,502
Much better than Aunt Lucy!
624
00:34:21,607 --> 00:34:23,621
Want to do it again?
625
00:34:23,726 --> 00:34:25,380
I don't mind.
626
00:34:25,487 --> 00:34:26,220
Yeah!
627
00:34:36,025 --> 00:34:38,160
Oh, Jesus, Amber, you've got liquid fucking fingers!
628
00:34:38,267 --> 00:34:39,341
You like that, yeah?
629
00:34:39,448 --> 00:34:41,042
I like it very much.
630
00:34:42,765 --> 00:34:44,021
Oh Yeah! Yeah!
631
00:34:44,126 --> 00:34:45,683
Harder! Harder!
632
00:34:47,205 --> 00:34:48,142
Yeah!
633
00:34:48,245 --> 00:34:49,181
Harder!
634
00:34:49,286 --> 00:34:50,580
You like that?
635
00:34:50,686 --> 00:34:51,723
Harder!
636
00:34:52,845 --> 00:34:55,260
Who's that? Is that...?
637
00:34:55,367 --> 00:34:56,743
Oh, that's just Johnny.
638
00:34:56,847 --> 00:34:59,462
Greta's regular. Seven inches.
639
00:34:59,565 --> 00:35:01,583
Freaky foreskin. Big tipper.
640
00:35:01,686 --> 00:35:02,900
Naughty boy!
641
00:35:03,006 --> 00:35:03,903
Wicked!
642
00:35:04,007 --> 00:35:06,061
Sorry if you're fucking, sorry if you're fucking,
643
00:35:06,167 --> 00:35:08,123
Sorry if you're fucking...
644
00:35:11,527 --> 00:35:13,443
What kind of fucking gay shit is this?
645
00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:15,503
Cook!
646
00:35:15,608 --> 00:35:18,180
You're supposed to be banging her, not canoodling!
647
00:35:18,285 --> 00:35:19,740
Sorry.
648
00:35:19,847 --> 00:35:21,422
Pay the girl, JJ.
649
00:35:21,528 --> 00:35:24,542
Something's come up, and I'm not talking about your willy.
650
00:35:24,648 --> 00:35:26,743
No, no. No charge.
I can't charge for a kiss.
651
00:35:26,847 --> 00:35:27,842
Really?
652
00:35:29,847 --> 00:35:33,082
Actually, no.
That'll be a tenner, please.
653
00:35:40,046 --> 00:35:41,222
What's going on?
654
00:35:41,327 --> 00:35:42,382
Sssh!
655
00:35:42,487 --> 00:35:43,221
You like that?
656
00:35:44,127 --> 00:35:46,400
Madame Greta, say Madame Greta!
657
00:35:46,508 --> 00:35:47,201
Electrocution!
658
00:35:47,306 --> 00:35:48,183
Electrocution!
659
00:35:48,286 --> 00:35:50,742
Behind this door is opportunity!
660
00:35:50,846 --> 00:35:51,542
Not enough!
661
00:35:51,647 --> 00:35:52,861
Enough! Ha-ha!
662
00:35:52,968 --> 00:35:55,440
What do you mean? Who's that?
663
00:35:56,726 --> 00:35:57,861
It's Johnny...!
664
00:35:57,965 --> 00:35:59,821
Yes! Now you stay here, naughty boy.
665
00:35:59,928 --> 00:36:01,163
I'm gonna get the barbed wire.
666
00:36:01,266 --> 00:36:02,661
Quick, hide!
667
00:36:02,765 --> 00:36:04,762
Yes, Madame. Thank you.
668
00:36:17,727 --> 00:36:20,703
Right. Come on.
You're my witness!
669
00:36:20,807 --> 00:36:21,940
To what?
670
00:36:22,048 --> 00:36:24,442
This is gonna blow your mind!
671
00:36:27,047 --> 00:36:31,562
Fucking hell! Look who it is!
672
00:36:34,725 --> 00:36:37,700
Say cheese!
673
00:36:37,805 --> 00:36:40,301
What the fuck are you doing here?
674
00:36:40,405 --> 00:36:41,700
We're visiting, Johnny.
675
00:36:41,808 --> 00:36:42,841
Look at you!
676
00:36:42,945 --> 00:36:44,080
Fuck off. I'm busy!
677
00:36:44,188 --> 00:36:48,641
Shut the fuck up, or I'll fucking punch you in your fucking cock!
678
00:36:52,448 --> 00:36:55,500
So. Who'd have thought big bad gangster man Johnny White
679
00:36:55,607 --> 00:36:57,943
likes to be spanked like the naughty boy he is?
680
00:36:58,046 --> 00:36:59,900
I like spanking.
What's your problem?
681
00:37:00,005 --> 00:37:02,820
You ruined my chances of sleeping with two girls tonight
682
00:37:02,927 --> 00:37:04,423
by making me look stupid.
683
00:37:04,526 --> 00:37:07,500
So, once I show this little Kodak moment to everyone I know,
684
00:37:07,605 --> 00:37:09,021
you're gonna look stupid,
685
00:37:09,125 --> 00:37:11,400
and I'll be a legend for managing to take it.
686
00:37:17,408 --> 00:37:20,143
This is mine now!
687
00:37:20,246 --> 00:37:21,780
See you around.
688
00:37:21,885 --> 00:37:23,822
You don't have the balls to show that photo.
689
00:37:23,927 --> 00:37:24,620
What?
690
00:37:24,726 --> 00:37:28,262
I said, you don't have the balls to show that to anyone.
691
00:37:28,368 --> 00:37:30,662
Right?
692
00:37:30,768 --> 00:37:33,341
You're a fucking helpless little pussy.
Watch me.
693
00:37:33,446 --> 00:37:35,461
Do you know who I am?
What I can do?
694
00:37:35,566 --> 00:37:37,903
Yeah!
695
00:37:38,008 --> 00:37:39,740
You heard what I said, boy.
696
00:37:39,848 --> 00:37:41,081
Why don't you say it once more?
697
00:37:41,186 --> 00:37:43,522
You don't have the fucking balls!
698
00:37:44,805 --> 00:37:48,023
You don't have the fucking balls!
699
00:37:48,125 --> 00:37:51,280
You don't have the fucking...
700
00:37:58,568 --> 00:38:00,700
Nnngh...! Aargh...!
Turn it off...
701
00:38:00,806 --> 00:38:02,000
Cook!
702
00:38:05,885 --> 00:38:07,081
Come on, let's go!
703
00:38:13,047 --> 00:38:15,822
Hey, Cookie.
Does your mummy know where you are?
704
00:38:15,926 --> 00:38:17,743
What?
705
00:38:17,847 --> 00:38:19,062
Your mum.
706
00:38:19,168 --> 00:38:21,301
I bet you're the apple of her cunting eye.
707
00:38:21,406 --> 00:38:24,021
Shut up.
Don't speak about my mum.
708
00:38:24,127 --> 00:38:26,661
I think you came here to see her, didn't you?
709
00:38:26,766 --> 00:38:28,381
Shut up!
710
00:38:28,486 --> 00:38:30,823
Because your mum is a fucking slag!
711
00:38:30,926 --> 00:38:32,742
Raaaargh!
712
00:38:32,847 --> 00:38:35,370
Shut up about my family.
You don't know me, so shut the fuck up!
713
00:38:35,476 --> 00:38:36,520
That's enough! Cook!
714
00:38:36,626 --> 00:38:37,470
Do you know who I am?
715
00:38:37,575 --> 00:38:38,641
What I can fucking do?!
716
00:38:38,747 --> 00:38:39,823
Please, stop it!
717
00:38:39,928 --> 00:38:41,820
I'm Cook! I'm fucking...!
718
00:38:41,926 --> 00:38:42,982
Stop it!!!
719
00:38:43,086 --> 00:38:44,380
I'm CoooooK!
720
00:38:44,485 --> 00:38:46,541
Stop it, man!
721
00:38:46,646 --> 00:38:48,020
It's me!
722
00:38:48,127 --> 00:38:50,323
It's JJ!
723
00:39:06,085 --> 00:39:08,982
Fucking shit...
724
00:39:09,087 --> 00:39:11,121
Fucking bastard...
725
00:39:14,928 --> 00:39:16,363
Fucking shit...
726
00:39:19,488 --> 00:39:21,141
Fucking cunt...
727
00:39:21,246 --> 00:39:22,801
Kid, kid!
728
00:39:25,285 --> 00:39:27,503
I like you, kid.
You're all right.
729
00:39:27,608 --> 00:39:29,683
Shut up!
730
00:39:31,647 --> 00:39:34,440
The next time I see you,
731
00:40:06,395 --> 00:40:11,911
Where have all the wicked gone?
732
00:40:16,397 --> 00:40:22,512
Is there no-one to condemn me?
733
00:40:26,916 --> 00:40:33,350
Where have all the holy gone?
734
00:40:37,757 --> 00:40:45,111
Is there no-one left to break you down?
735
00:41:00,397 --> 00:41:03,131
Cook, what the hell are you doing?
It's 6 am. It's Saturday morning.
736
00:41:03,235 --> 00:41:04,731
Everyone's asleep.
Including me.
737
00:41:04,838 --> 00:41:05,570
Wait! Wait!
738
00:41:05,676 --> 00:41:06,931
Shhh!
739
00:41:07,038 --> 00:41:08,211
What?
740
00:41:08,317 --> 00:41:10,570
I need to speak to you.
741
00:41:10,675 --> 00:41:15,350
Ok, ok, I'll meet you in the shed.
742
00:42:10,155 --> 00:42:12,571
Jesus, man.
Have you not stopped drinking?
743
00:42:12,677 --> 00:42:14,831
Oh, don't be a cock about it.
I've been up all night.
744
00:42:34,918 --> 00:42:36,410
So what are we doing today, then?
745
00:42:36,515 --> 00:42:38,252
Didn't you hear what I said last night?
746
00:42:38,356 --> 00:42:41,371
Oh, come on, man.
You were just in a bad mood.
747
00:42:41,477 --> 00:42:44,173
Yeah. I was.
748
00:42:44,275 --> 00:42:46,312
Cos you almost got us killed.
749
00:42:47,158 --> 00:42:50,332
Yeah. Sorry about that.
750
00:42:50,438 --> 00:42:53,410
You're apologizing?
751
00:42:53,518 --> 00:42:54,911
That's a first.
752
00:43:07,516 --> 00:43:10,590
Something happened.
753
00:43:13,357 --> 00:43:15,853
I wasn't me.
754
00:43:15,958 --> 00:43:17,591
I was me.
755
00:43:19,196 --> 00:43:20,633
I don't know.
756
00:43:24,796 --> 00:43:26,892
I did something stupid.
757
00:43:26,995 --> 00:43:28,093
That's nothing new.
758
00:43:28,196 --> 00:43:31,452
Something really stupid. Something I
wouldn't have done if you was there.
759
00:43:31,556 --> 00:43:35,253
Right. So you've come here to ask me to look after you all the time.
760
00:43:35,355 --> 00:43:37,653
Make sure you don't do anything stupid ever again.
761
00:43:37,758 --> 00:43:40,093
Something like that.
762
00:43:40,196 --> 00:43:41,631
No.
763
00:43:44,275 --> 00:43:45,213
What?
764
00:43:45,316 --> 00:43:46,413
I'm not going to do that.
765
00:43:46,515 --> 00:43:47,773
Why not?
766
00:43:47,877 --> 00:43:51,091
Cos lately, it's like you go looking for trouble.
767
00:43:51,196 --> 00:43:52,211
I wouldn't say I go...
768
00:43:52,315 --> 00:43:54,451
Do you want to die, mate?
Is that what you want?
769
00:43:54,558 --> 00:43:57,611
You're drinking yourself to death, you're fighting gangsters.
770
00:43:57,717 --> 00:44:00,692
I don't even want to know what happened last night.
771
00:44:00,797 --> 00:44:04,670
You're killing yourself to impress some pissed-up old wanker in a pub.
772
00:44:07,796 --> 00:44:09,911
Why are you smiling?
773
00:44:11,518 --> 00:44:13,192
Because it's us...
774
00:44:18,437 --> 00:44:20,891
isn't it?
775
00:44:20,996 --> 00:44:23,012
Me, you and JJ.
776
00:44:23,118 --> 00:44:26,292
Best mates for life.
777
00:44:26,398 --> 00:44:29,752
You're not taking me with you, ok?
778
00:44:31,757 --> 00:44:33,753
I fucking love you, man.
779
00:44:37,117 --> 00:44:39,290
I fucking love you to bits.
780
00:44:39,398 --> 00:44:41,550
I...
781
00:44:44,718 --> 00:44:47,153
Yeah.
782
00:44:49,675 --> 00:44:51,100
Ok.
783
00:44:53,425 --> 00:44:57,642
But you've got to stop all this crazy shit.
784
00:44:57,747 --> 00:44:59,823
Shut it, you pussy.
785
00:45:39,545 --> 00:45:44,502
The only card I need is the ace of spades, the ace of spades.
786
00:45:47,706 --> 00:45:51,082
Playing for the high one Dancing with the devil
787
00:45:51,188 --> 00:45:54,583
Going with the flow it's all a game to me...
788
00:45:57,865 --> 00:46:01,361
Are you here for business or pleasure?
789
00:46:01,468 --> 00:46:02,980
Sorry?
790
00:46:05,865 --> 00:46:07,761
Let's get this started!
791
00:46:07,868 --> 00:46:10,901
Hang on.
He's pushing dope at my fucking shindig!
792
00:46:14,165 --> 00:46:17,283
You're African, come on!
793
00:46:20,847 --> 00:46:22,523
Fuck off out of my... Ooof!
794
00:46:24,526 --> 00:46:28,441
I want you to see what kind of man you're dealing with, Thomas.
795
00:46:28,491 --> 00:46:33,041
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