All language subtitles for Skins s02e02 Sketch.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:51,195 (Woman on monitor) 'Lucy? Can you hear me? ' 2 00:01:56,327 --> 00:01:57,282 'Lucy! ' 3 00:02:04,407 --> 00:02:05,396 CAMERA CLICKS 4 00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:13,998 SHE GROANS 5 00:02:16,207 --> 00:02:18,402 SHE GROANS 6 00:02:18,447 --> 00:02:21,041 SIGHS AND BREATHES HEAVILY 7 00:02:21,087 --> 00:02:23,476 You wearing perfume, love? 8 00:02:23,527 --> 00:02:25,404 It's the new air freshener thing. 9 00:02:25,447 --> 00:02:27,324 I bought it for the bathroom. 10 00:02:27,367 --> 00:02:30,200 Thought Maxxie got you perfume. Thought, "Here's posh, 11 00:02:30,247 --> 00:02:31,839 "boyfriend who buys you perfume." 12 00:02:31,887 --> 00:02:35,357 - He'd buy me perfume if I asked. - I know. Do anything, wouldn't he? 13 00:02:35,407 --> 00:02:39,446 Long as you don't introduce him to the scary disabled mother, that is. 14 00:02:39,487 --> 00:02:43,844 - I will introduce him to you. - When the cock crows thrice, I know. 15 00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:46,282 Done? 16 00:02:48,007 --> 00:02:50,077 BREAKS WIND AND LAUGHS 17 00:02:50,127 --> 00:02:54,279 Always leave the waters a tip, that's what your gran used to say. 18 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:02,800 (Own voice in her head) 'Did you hear that? 19 00:03:02,847 --> 00:03:06,078 'The building's coming down, there's nothing we can do.' 20 00:03:06,127 --> 00:03:07,845 If I'm to die, 21 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:11,084 I'd rather it be with you than anyone else in the world. 22 00:03:11,127 --> 00:03:15,837 (American accent) Darling, oh, darling, how long I've waited to hear those words. 23 00:03:15,887 --> 00:03:18,526 PIANO PLAYS 24 00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:24,324 Once I was a lonely banker 25 00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:30,602 All I cared for were margins and accounts 26 00:03:30,647 --> 00:03:36,404 I'd pass you on the phone each morning 27 00:03:36,447 --> 00:03:42,682 I knew one day that love would sprout 28 00:03:43,847 --> 00:03:49,080 Then came the day Osama blew us away 29 00:03:49,127 --> 00:03:52,802 (Chorus) Osama blew them away 30 00:03:52,847 --> 00:03:57,477 And now I know how I feel 31 00:04:05,887 --> 00:04:10,597 (Chorus) Then came the day Osama blew us away 32 00:04:10,647 --> 00:04:14,117 Osama blew them away 33 00:04:15,207 --> 00:04:19,598 Then came the day Osama blew us away 34 00:04:19,647 --> 00:04:24,243 Osama blew them away 35 00:04:24,287 --> 00:04:25,925 Then came the day... 36 00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:28,606 < No, no, no, no, NO! 37 00:04:30,207 --> 00:04:31,845 No. 38 00:04:37,687 --> 00:04:40,406 Do you know what this is? > 39 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,358 This is my script > 40 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,886 and I'm burning it. 41 00:04:43,927 --> 00:04:46,077 And do you know why? Becau... 42 00:04:46,127 --> 00:04:50,006 Does someone wanna give me a hand here, please? Quickly, quickly, thank you. 43 00:04:50,047 --> 00:04:52,845 Because... You know I've burnt my... fing... 44 00:04:52,887 --> 00:04:55,321 Because you made it shit! 45 00:04:55,367 --> 00:04:56,846 Shitl 46 00:05:01,207 --> 00:05:03,118 Do you know what we're doing here? 47 00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:04,646 Do you? 48 00:05:06,287 --> 00:05:07,800 Max... 49 00:05:07,847 --> 00:05:12,238 This is an opportunity, a real opportunity, to tell the tragedy of my people. 50 00:05:12,287 --> 00:05:17,315 - You're American(?) - (American accent) Yes, I am. Metaphorically. 51 00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:23,078 (Normal voice) Look, in two hours' time, this woman will be dead. Dead! You know why? 52 00:05:23,127 --> 00:05:27,598 Because Osama in pyjamas is making his way up the stairs 53 00:05:27,647 --> 00:05:29,205 to take us unawares. 54 00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:31,442 Oh, get off me, Bruce. 55 00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:35,366 (American accent) Outside, the world is crumbling, 56 00:05:35,407 --> 00:05:38,922 the towers are coming down. 57 00:05:38,967 --> 00:05:42,596 But soon... she'll forget. 58 00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:47,716 When two lips... Oh, sod it, time for show and tell. 59 00:05:47,767 --> 00:05:49,405 HE GROANS 60 00:05:52,327 --> 00:05:53,442 LAUGHS 61 00:05:54,727 --> 00:05:56,638 Mmm... Aaarrrgh! 62 00:05:56,727 --> 00:05:58,843 To paraphrase Mr Punch, son, 63 00:05:58,887 --> 00:06:00,525 "That's the way to do it." 64 00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:04,321 Now, from Michelle's verse! Come on! Whoo! 65 00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:07,404 PIANO PLAYS 66 00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:15,162 I'd bring you coffee and a bagel 67 00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:20,520 But you never had the time for me 68 00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:27,602 I dreamed that one day you'd say, "Hey, girl 69 00:06:27,647 --> 00:06:33,483 "That bagel's mighty fine, it's plain to see" 70 00:06:35,087 --> 00:06:39,638 Then came the day Osama blew us away 71 00:06:39,687 --> 00:06:43,805 (Chorus) Osama blew them away 72 00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:48,875 And now you know how I feel 73 00:06:51,687 --> 00:06:56,283 (Chorus) Then came the day Osama blew us away 74 00:06:56,327 --> 00:07:01,037 Osama blew them away... 75 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,076 LIGHT CRASHES 76 00:07:02,127 --> 00:07:04,083 SCREAMING 77 00:07:07,407 --> 00:07:08,920 What the fuck?! 78 00:07:12,287 --> 00:07:15,757 It just slipped. Sorry. 79 00:07:28,207 --> 00:07:29,606 ANWAR LAUGHS 80 00:07:29,647 --> 00:07:33,196 Not funny, OK? This is like the 15th present this week. 81 00:07:33,247 --> 00:07:36,205 It's getting quite spooky, innit? How's he getting in your locker? 82 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,364 - I wish he'd just tell me who he is. - What is it? 83 00:07:39,407 --> 00:07:40,999 An Oscar. 84 00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:42,605 Full of chocolate. 85 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:49,325 - (Anwar) Every actor's dream, though, innit? - (Sid) What are you talking about, mate? 86 00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:51,244 (Anwar) Stalker - the ultimate accessory. 87 00:07:51,287 --> 00:07:53,517 (Sid) Not everyone's as desperate for sex as you, Anwar. 88 00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:56,843 - (Maxxie) Sid! - (Anwar) No, he's right. See these hands? 89 00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:58,366 Fucking friction burns, man! 90 00:07:58,407 --> 00:08:02,082 My sisters are getting suspicious about their disappearing hand cream. 91 00:08:02,127 --> 00:08:03,879 (Maxxie) I'm gonna get you laid tonight. 92 00:08:03,927 --> 00:08:07,806 (Sid) I'll bring some spare hand cream, you just bring your smile! 93 00:08:40,127 --> 00:08:43,005 No, seriously, Sid, what have you come as? A cardboard Big Dickus? 94 00:08:43,047 --> 00:08:45,641 Gladiator to the stars. 95 00:08:45,687 --> 00:08:47,484 Fuck off! > 96 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:51,440 So, stalky-stalky-stalk-stalk. Do you think he's coming tonight? 97 00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:54,047 - Shit! It could be any one of these people. - Don't! 98 00:08:54,087 --> 00:08:58,000 If he was clever, he'd come as a sort of film where the stalker wins. 99 00:08:58,047 --> 00:09:00,117 You know, Hugh Grant in Four Weddings. 100 00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:02,397 What? How is Four Weddings about stalking? 101 00:09:02,447 --> 00:09:06,201 Four weddings, one funeral, and Hugh just happens to be at all five. 102 00:09:06,247 --> 00:09:08,442 You'd think Andie MacDowell was cleverer than that. 103 00:09:08,487 --> 00:09:12,116 Oh... my... God! 104 00:09:13,847 --> 00:09:16,315 Go on, guess. Guess. 105 00:09:16,367 --> 00:09:18,358 Eh? Give up? 106 00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:20,398 Daisy Werthan. 107 00:09:22,207 --> 00:09:24,243 I don't know who she is, either. 108 00:09:24,287 --> 00:09:27,438 Driving Miss Daisy! Best Picture Oscar, 1990. 109 00:09:27,487 --> 00:09:29,603 And this is my man, who is... 110 00:09:29,647 --> 00:09:31,285 Morgan Freeman. 111 00:09:31,327 --> 00:09:34,558 No! How many times have I got to tell you? 112 00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:38,361 OK, you're Hoke. Yeah? Actor, Freeman, part, Hoke. 113 00:09:38,407 --> 00:09:41,126 You don't know the first thing about films, do you, Kenneth? 114 00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:43,556 - How many films have you seen, Chris? - What? Counting porn? 115 00:09:43,607 --> 00:09:46,679 - Well, no. - One. Driving Miss Daisy. It's a classic. 116 00:09:46,727 --> 00:09:49,605 Interestingly, they did make a porn version of the film 117 00:09:49,647 --> 00:09:52,241 called Fisting Miss Daisy. 118 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:56,485 It was a really good film. Really stood up to the original. Phenomenal. 119 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,164 MUSIC PLAYS 120 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:13,478 Here comes my leading lady. 121 00:10:13,527 --> 00:10:15,119 Whoo, what an entrance! 122 00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:27,403 - What? - Oh! 123 00:10:27,447 --> 00:10:29,915 Princess Leia, right? Jinx! 124 00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:32,276 And you look so... 125 00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:33,885 home-made. 126 00:10:33,927 --> 00:10:37,283 Doesn't she, Tony? Gloriously quaint. 127 00:10:37,327 --> 00:10:38,646 (Tony) Hi, Michelle. 128 00:10:38,687 --> 00:10:42,236 You dressed as Luke? For her? 129 00:10:42,287 --> 00:10:45,245 Well, I guess I... 130 00:10:47,607 --> 00:10:49,325 Did I? 131 00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:50,880 Tony! 132 00:10:52,607 --> 00:10:55,838 You think either of them's actually seen Star Wars? 133 00:10:55,887 --> 00:10:59,118 You reckon they know Luke's her brother? 134 00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:01,158 INAUDIBLE 135 00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:05,437 Solid! No... 136 00:11:05,487 --> 00:11:10,766 I stood here solid and no-one could rock me. 137 00:11:10,807 --> 00:11:15,005 But now comes a mullah who'll awe and shock me... 138 00:11:15,047 --> 00:11:17,607 Yep, that works. That really works. That's lovely. 139 00:11:17,647 --> 00:11:19,126 Mr Gelpart. > 140 00:11:21,327 --> 00:11:23,477 Well, I never! The light-dropper. 141 00:11:23,527 --> 00:11:26,325 Thank you. Sincerely. No, I thank you. 142 00:11:26,367 --> 00:11:30,724 You made the rehearsal feel... dangerous. 143 00:11:30,767 --> 00:11:33,600 - I want to act. - Yeah, well, who doesn't? 144 00:11:33,647 --> 00:11:36,366 - I need Michelle's part. - What? 145 00:11:36,407 --> 00:11:37,726 She's terrible. 146 00:11:38,927 --> 00:11:41,077 I should play her. 147 00:11:41,127 --> 00:11:43,083 Oh, my dear... 148 00:11:44,447 --> 00:11:45,516 Come here. 149 00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:49,242 Acting is about truth. 150 00:11:49,287 --> 00:11:52,882 Truth is about beauty. 151 00:11:52,927 --> 00:11:58,126 Ugly people lack believability. Now, how can I put this kindly? 152 00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:00,476 You look like a liar. 153 00:12:02,447 --> 00:12:04,324 I really want that part. 154 00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:07,165 Mmm. Not on my ship, darling. 155 00:12:11,207 --> 00:12:14,597 (Maxxie) In there, mate. Let's see what we can grab. 156 00:12:15,847 --> 00:12:17,724 Come on, Bruce. Where the goodies at? 157 00:12:18,727 --> 00:12:21,525 Whoa! Shit! If Bruce can get laid, anyone can. 158 00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:23,842 What's the plan, then, Rambo? 159 00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:26,640 It's an ancient dating strategy for getting laid. > 160 00:12:26,687 --> 00:12:29,645 Mark yourself out of ten, and then aim two points below. 161 00:12:29,687 --> 00:12:31,484 An eight goes for a six. 162 00:12:31,527 --> 00:12:34,166 That way, guaranteed success. 163 00:12:35,927 --> 00:12:39,044 Look, a poodle doesn't get nothing with a Labrador, 164 00:12:39,087 --> 00:12:43,239 but if he aims for a Chihuahua? Woof! 165 00:12:43,287 --> 00:12:45,596 So what number are you, then, hound-dog? 166 00:12:45,647 --> 00:12:46,762 A seven. 167 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,439 A six? 168 00:12:53,487 --> 00:12:54,886 I'm not a five. 169 00:12:55,887 --> 00:12:58,924 Am I a five? 170 00:12:58,967 --> 00:13:01,242 Mate, you're a seven. Course you are. 171 00:13:01,287 --> 00:13:03,926 Yeah, baby! So we need to find me a five, yeah? 172 00:13:05,927 --> 00:13:07,838 MUSIC WITH A JERKY BEAT PLAYS 173 00:14:00,367 --> 00:14:03,518 Mate, I've found your five. Wait here. 174 00:14:03,567 --> 00:14:04,886 What? Where? 175 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,366 < Hi, hello. 176 00:14:07,407 --> 00:14:08,920 < Hi, I, er... 177 00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:13,836 You were the one who dropped the light, right? 178 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,082 Maxxie. You're a fucking genius. 179 00:14:17,447 --> 00:14:19,119 You're single, right? 180 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:20,885 What? 181 00:14:22,047 --> 00:14:25,403 You got a boyfriend? A guy? 182 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:28,280 No. I've got no-one. I mean, yeah - I'm single. 183 00:14:29,527 --> 00:14:30,642 Cool. 184 00:14:30,687 --> 00:14:32,723 So what do you say... 185 00:14:32,767 --> 00:14:35,520 dance with my mate, Anwar? 186 00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:37,319 He's seventh heaven. 187 00:14:38,287 --> 00:14:41,677 - Anwar? - Yeah, Anwar, baby. 188 00:14:41,727 --> 00:14:43,080 007. 189 00:14:43,127 --> 00:14:45,960 And you... my Chanel No 5. 190 00:14:49,207 --> 00:14:51,767 Sorry. I've got to go. 191 00:14:53,087 --> 00:14:54,486 What? Hang on. 192 00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:03,682 You sure I'm a seven? 193 00:15:06,207 --> 00:15:08,960 Let's look for some fours, shall we? 194 00:15:09,007 --> 00:15:11,077 Just in case. 195 00:15:40,647 --> 00:15:43,445 I can't believe after everything that's happened, 196 00:15:43,487 --> 00:15:45,318 you'd bring her to the party. 197 00:15:46,527 --> 00:15:48,483 She, er, says I'm her boyfriend. 198 00:15:58,527 --> 00:16:02,042 You're not Tony any more, are you? 199 00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,406 Yeah, I'm Tony. 200 00:16:03,447 --> 00:16:05,642 OK. 201 00:16:05,687 --> 00:16:10,078 On the day of the accident, you were on the phone to me. Tell me what you said. 202 00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:16,477 The doctors told me some things would take a while to come back. 203 00:16:19,327 --> 00:16:20,806 OK, then. 204 00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:24,925 Let's bring you back. 205 00:16:37,487 --> 00:16:41,002 (Michelle) Come on, come on. I want to touch you. 206 00:16:44,847 --> 00:16:45,916 I can't... 207 00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:47,685 Course you can. 208 00:16:58,127 --> 00:16:59,446 (Oh.) 209 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,200 You're not... 210 00:17:05,247 --> 00:17:07,203 No. I'm not. 211 00:17:10,167 --> 00:17:11,646 I've got to go. 212 00:17:22,247 --> 00:17:23,646 < Not worth it, are they? 213 00:17:24,647 --> 00:17:25,875 Who the fuck are you? 214 00:17:34,807 --> 00:17:37,924 How come boys could do that to us? 215 00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:39,446 Make us feel like shit? 216 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,806 He didn't... 217 00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:48,679 - You don't understand. - OK. 218 00:17:48,727 --> 00:17:50,957 It's difficult for him now. > 219 00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:55,440 Us now. 220 00:17:59,127 --> 00:18:02,802 But do you remember what it was like to kiss him for the first time? 221 00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:08,596 That magic moment when everything changed? 222 00:18:19,407 --> 00:18:20,965 Fancy a beer? 223 00:18:38,007 --> 00:18:41,158 I say I'm sorry 224 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:43,960 But you won't forgive me 225 00:18:44,007 --> 00:18:46,999 You say that you're never mad 226 00:18:47,047 --> 00:18:50,198 But your anger fills up the room 227 00:18:50,247 --> 00:18:53,080 I've tried to find you 228 00:18:53,127 --> 00:18:55,846 And send you some money 229 00:18:55,887 --> 00:18:58,606 You think that it's funny 230 00:18:58,647 --> 00:19:03,767 And you laugh at me with all of your friends 231 00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:10,197 I've tried to reach you 232 00:19:10,247 --> 00:19:13,398 But I can't find your number... 233 00:19:31,967 --> 00:19:33,764 TO Y SQUEAKS 234 00:19:36,727 --> 00:19:39,002 DOG GROWLS 235 00:19:47,207 --> 00:19:51,200 DISTANT SCREAMING AND BANGING ON TV 236 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:56,081 (Walter) Is that you, Maxxie? > 237 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:04,635 It's the dog, I'm telling you. 238 00:21:03,927 --> 00:21:08,842 PLAINTIVE KEYBOARD MUSIC 239 00:21:15,887 --> 00:21:20,961 MUSIC SUDDENLY LOUD 240 00:21:31,727 --> 00:21:32,716 DOOR SLAMS 241 00:21:32,767 --> 00:21:35,156 (Maxxie) Hey, Dad. Night. > 242 00:22:26,567 --> 00:22:28,558 MOBILE RINGS 243 00:22:38,367 --> 00:22:39,686 (Lucy) 'Underpants. 244 00:22:41,767 --> 00:22:43,041 'To the mirror. 245 00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:47,156 'Cupboard. 246 00:22:50,487 --> 00:22:51,476 'Trousers. 247 00:22:54,047 --> 00:22:55,241 'Back to the mirror.' 248 00:22:57,407 --> 00:22:58,965 Aftershave. 249 00:22:59,007 --> 00:23:01,282 SQUIRTING 250 00:23:03,327 --> 00:23:04,316 Mirror again. 251 00:23:28,967 --> 00:23:31,435 Lucy? That you, love? > 252 00:23:33,407 --> 00:23:34,886 Lucy? > 253 00:23:36,927 --> 00:23:38,440 Yes, Mum. 254 00:23:39,447 --> 00:23:41,403 I need a hand in here. > 255 00:23:43,967 --> 00:23:45,446 Jesus, Mum! What happened? 256 00:23:45,487 --> 00:23:48,763 When you weren't back when you said, I thought you'd gone to bed. 257 00:23:48,807 --> 00:23:50,559 But I wanted to check and... 258 00:23:50,607 --> 00:23:52,359 Am I wet? 259 00:23:52,407 --> 00:23:54,204 I'm wet, aren't I? 260 00:24:02,167 --> 00:24:04,317 - Did you spend the night with him, love? - Don't. 261 00:24:07,127 --> 00:24:10,756 - Let's get these wet clothes off. - No, wait. Better give me a pain pill first. 262 00:24:13,047 --> 00:24:14,560 Better make it two. 263 00:24:14,607 --> 00:24:16,962 No. The doctor said. 264 00:24:17,007 --> 00:24:19,919 They're emetics. I don't want you vomiting. 265 00:24:23,167 --> 00:24:25,078 You're a good girl. 266 00:24:25,127 --> 00:24:27,641 < Maxxie's lucky to have you. 267 00:24:32,847 --> 00:24:33,836 Mum... 268 00:24:35,247 --> 00:24:37,238 ...I've got something to tell you. 269 00:24:39,007 --> 00:24:40,963 It was my fault. 270 00:24:41,007 --> 00:24:42,360 I was stupid. 271 00:24:43,847 --> 00:24:48,125 I wanted to be alone, so I went and sat in one of the bedrooms upstairs. 272 00:24:48,167 --> 00:24:49,725 And Bruce... 273 00:24:49,767 --> 00:24:52,645 Mr Gelpart, the drama teacher... 274 00:24:52,687 --> 00:24:56,202 he came in and asked whether I wanted comforting. 275 00:24:56,247 --> 00:24:58,363 And I didn't say no. 276 00:24:58,407 --> 00:25:01,240 It was his party and his house, so... 277 00:25:02,287 --> 00:25:04,801 And it was just his hands. 278 00:25:04,847 --> 00:25:07,441 Mr Gelpart's hands. 279 00:25:07,487 --> 00:25:12,038 I mean, he... didn't make me touch him or put his anything near me. 280 00:25:12,087 --> 00:25:14,726 Just kissed me on the cheek... 281 00:25:14,767 --> 00:25:16,564 and kept kissing me 282 00:25:16,607 --> 00:25:19,246 and rubbing his hands over me. 283 00:25:19,287 --> 00:25:21,562 And he said I was great... 284 00:25:21,607 --> 00:25:23,757 because I had little tits. 285 00:25:23,807 --> 00:25:25,923 "Almost like a boy," he said. 286 00:25:27,687 --> 00:25:31,726 And that was it. He didn't even touch any other part of me. > 287 00:25:32,807 --> 00:25:34,479 Just my cheek... 288 00:25:34,527 --> 00:25:35,801 and my tits. 289 00:25:40,407 --> 00:25:44,639 Right. Cheek and tits. Right. 290 00:25:44,687 --> 00:25:46,325 Right. 291 00:25:47,327 --> 00:25:48,555 < Tits. 292 00:25:49,887 --> 00:25:50,876 Right. 293 00:25:50,927 --> 00:25:52,838 Oh, dear! 294 00:26:24,927 --> 00:26:28,363 I heard he got his cock out and there's a tattoo on it of Harry Potter, 295 00:26:28,407 --> 00:26:32,195 and he starts shouting at Sketch, "Kiss Harry to make him magic!" 296 00:26:32,247 --> 00:26:34,841 Drama teachers, man. "Pretend to be a tree." 297 00:26:34,887 --> 00:26:36,957 "But I'm not a tree." "Well, pretend." 298 00:26:37,007 --> 00:26:39,362 Fucking perverts, the lot of 'em! 299 00:26:45,167 --> 00:26:46,759 Is it true? 300 00:26:48,367 --> 00:26:49,720 Yeah. It's true. 301 00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:56,397 Oh! That creep! That fucking animal! I'm so sorry, Sketch. 302 00:26:57,727 --> 00:27:03,563 I'm the one who should be sorry. I wasn't going to say anything, but my mum insisted and... 303 00:27:03,607 --> 00:27:06,041 Have I ruined everything? The play and... 304 00:27:06,087 --> 00:27:09,477 Fuck the play! Come and sit with us. 305 00:27:14,847 --> 00:27:16,758 That's grown up, Tony. 306 00:27:16,807 --> 00:27:18,843 I've finished. That's all. 307 00:27:29,047 --> 00:27:30,765 What you doing, you tramp? 308 00:27:35,207 --> 00:27:38,882 - (Anwar) In my culture, we share our food. - Michelle's got a new friend, then. 309 00:27:38,927 --> 00:27:40,724 (Maxxie) Yeah. 310 00:27:40,767 --> 00:27:44,316 (Anwar) It's a saveloy, man. It draws me in. It's the devil's plaything. 311 00:27:44,367 --> 00:27:46,323 It's an aphrodisiac, too, I've heard. 312 00:27:48,207 --> 00:27:52,166 (Michelle) Come on, Sketch. We can do better than these two. Let's go. 313 00:28:21,607 --> 00:28:25,282 BUZZER SOUNDS REPEATEDLY 314 00:28:25,327 --> 00:28:27,238 'Sketch? ' 315 00:28:27,287 --> 00:28:28,640 Sketch! 316 00:28:30,287 --> 00:28:32,278 (Mum) 'Who is this? ' 317 00:28:32,327 --> 00:28:34,682 Who's this? Who are you? 318 00:28:34,727 --> 00:28:37,924 I've had enough of you kids playing. Leave us alone! 319 00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:41,039 'What? Look! Do you have a daughter at the school? ' 320 00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:43,043 None of your business. Leave us alone! 321 00:28:43,087 --> 00:28:47,638 'I need to know! This is important. Look, my name's Maxxie.' 322 00:28:47,687 --> 00:28:49,723 Your name's Maxxie? 323 00:28:49,767 --> 00:28:51,120 'Yeah.' 324 00:28:51,167 --> 00:28:52,680 Maxxie in the school play? 325 00:28:54,687 --> 00:28:56,723 Maxxie who's dating my daughter? 326 00:28:59,847 --> 00:29:03,476 - What?! - What are you even doing answering the door? 327 00:29:03,527 --> 00:29:05,404 - The disgrace! - Disgrace? 328 00:29:05,447 --> 00:29:09,360 Lies, all lies! A boyfriend? No, you haven't. In the musical? No, you haven't. 329 00:29:09,407 --> 00:29:12,717 After all I've done for you, you fucking... you fucking... 330 00:29:14,647 --> 00:29:16,683 Oh, my God! The drama teacher! 331 00:29:16,727 --> 00:29:19,002 You've lied about him, too, haven't you? 332 00:29:20,327 --> 00:29:22,636 Well, I'm not gonna let you ruin a man's life. 333 00:29:25,407 --> 00:29:28,922 Ow! No! I didn't bring you up to be a liar! 334 00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:32,198 You didn't bring me up at all, you fucking... cripple! 335 00:29:39,727 --> 00:29:40,921 So... what? 336 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:46,042 You going to keep holding me to the bed all day and all night, are you? 337 00:29:47,967 --> 00:29:50,561 Whatever trouble you're in, I'll support you. 338 00:29:50,607 --> 00:29:52,438 But this is a man's life. 339 00:29:57,807 --> 00:30:02,005 It's for your own good. Crawling out of bed isn't good for you. 340 00:30:03,647 --> 00:30:07,606 I will not... let you fuck up my life, Mum. 341 00:30:07,647 --> 00:30:08,841 OK? 342 00:30:27,087 --> 00:30:28,520 DOOR CLOSES 343 00:30:28,567 --> 00:30:30,398 Lucy? 344 00:30:31,767 --> 00:30:33,359 Lucy! 345 00:30:37,327 --> 00:30:41,718 Just time to say the things I must 346 00:30:43,487 --> 00:30:48,322 Before my hopes all turn to dust 347 00:30:48,967 --> 00:30:51,276 Now nothing seems to matter 348 00:30:51,327 --> 00:30:54,797 And every word is true 349 00:30:54,847 --> 00:30:57,486 When I say I'm blown away 350 00:30:57,527 --> 00:30:59,836 With you 351 00:31:01,727 --> 00:31:04,446 (Sketch) Then came the day 352 00:31:04,487 --> 00:31:06,717 You blew me away 353 00:31:06,767 --> 00:31:09,645 (Chorus) Osama blew them away 354 00:31:11,007 --> 00:31:14,124 What can I say? 355 00:31:14,167 --> 00:31:16,078 (Sketch) You blew me away 356 00:31:16,127 --> 00:31:18,243 And now I'm falling... 357 00:31:18,287 --> 00:31:19,640 (Chorus) Now I'm falling 358 00:31:19,687 --> 00:31:21,598 (Sketch) We're falling... 359 00:31:22,967 --> 00:31:24,605 In love 360 00:31:33,087 --> 00:31:36,045 (Chris) Ah, the magic of the stage! The thrill of anticipation! 361 00:31:36,087 --> 00:31:38,726 I feel like a Roman about to throw a lion at the Christians. 362 00:31:38,767 --> 00:31:40,325 Chris, it's a school musical. 363 00:31:40,367 --> 00:31:43,279 (Chris) But who do you think would win between Maxxie and a lion? 364 00:31:43,327 --> 00:31:46,797 (Tannoy) 'Osama The Musical, this is your half-hour call.' 365 00:31:48,527 --> 00:31:50,518 Do you want to help me get dressed? 366 00:31:51,567 --> 00:31:54,001 You want me to look good, don't you? 367 00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:58,886 - You nervous? - Oh, God! On a scale of one to... 368 00:31:58,927 --> 00:32:00,645 Oh, fuck scales, I'm shitting it! 369 00:32:00,687 --> 00:32:02,962 You're gonna be so good. 370 00:32:03,007 --> 00:32:05,157 I'm under-rehearsed and shit! 371 00:32:05,207 --> 00:32:07,846 Do you want something to get you through it? 372 00:32:09,087 --> 00:32:12,159 - What have you got? - Pills of my mum's. 373 00:32:18,367 --> 00:32:21,165 You need to take three to get a decent hit. 374 00:32:21,207 --> 00:32:23,596 Anti-anxieties. They'll chill you out. 375 00:32:24,807 --> 00:32:27,196 Go on, I'd love to help you out. 376 00:32:29,927 --> 00:32:31,519 OK, thanks. 377 00:32:42,407 --> 00:32:45,160 RETCHING AND VOMITING 378 00:32:51,207 --> 00:32:53,038 My mother was right! 379 00:32:53,087 --> 00:32:57,046 "Do science," she said, "Do science. Science makes sense." 380 00:32:57,087 --> 00:33:00,284 But the lights drew me... like a moth to a flame. 381 00:33:02,687 --> 00:33:05,406 Right! Nothing for it. Cancellation o'clock. 382 00:33:05,447 --> 00:33:07,358 I know the words! 383 00:33:08,527 --> 00:33:10,245 - What?! - You do? 384 00:33:12,607 --> 00:33:14,086 Oh, my God! 385 00:33:14,127 --> 00:33:17,483 I've been helping her learn them. I know them all. 386 00:33:17,527 --> 00:33:19,677 I think you just saved my Welsh rarebit. 387 00:33:21,247 --> 00:33:23,283 Let's get you into costume. > 388 00:33:26,807 --> 00:33:30,402 We're over ten minutes late now. It's time for action. 389 00:33:37,287 --> 00:33:42,315 If Rome won't go to Mohammed, then Mohammed will clap until it does. 390 00:33:46,647 --> 00:33:49,923 - Hi, Tony. - That's someone's seat. 391 00:33:49,967 --> 00:33:52,481 Yes, honey, it's for your queen bee. 392 00:33:52,527 --> 00:33:53,755 Zzzzzz! 393 00:33:55,207 --> 00:33:56,799 MUSIC STARTS 394 00:33:56,847 --> 00:33:58,519 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 395 00:33:58,567 --> 00:34:00,000 Works every time. 396 00:34:03,807 --> 00:34:09,165 We-e-e-e-e-e're... 397 00:34:09,207 --> 00:34:13,678 The last of the superpowers 398 00:34:13,727 --> 00:34:16,799 George Dubya is our leader 399 00:34:16,847 --> 00:34:20,601 We've still got both Twin Towers 400 00:34:20,647 --> 00:34:23,684 Never heard of Al-Qaeda 401 00:34:23,727 --> 00:34:27,402 It's September 11th 402 00:34:27,447 --> 00:34:30,120 Just another day 403 00:34:30,167 --> 00:34:34,240 In a tower in downtown heaven 404 00:34:34,287 --> 00:34:36,198 New York City 405 00:34:37,767 --> 00:34:39,325 U S of A 406 00:34:47,167 --> 00:34:49,920 Today will be better 407 00:34:49,967 --> 00:34:52,606 Today will be the one 408 00:34:52,647 --> 00:34:54,956 Today is no red letter 409 00:34:55,007 --> 00:34:57,396 It's out there to be won 410 00:34:57,447 --> 00:34:59,915 Today my sun is shining 411 00:34:59,967 --> 00:35:02,003 Today is somewhere new 412 00:35:02,047 --> 00:35:04,686 Today's a silver lining 413 00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:07,685 Today will see me through 414 00:35:07,727 --> 00:35:09,718 Today will be better 415 00:35:09,767 --> 00:35:12,327 Today will be the one 416 00:35:12,367 --> 00:35:14,756 Today is no red letter 417 00:35:14,807 --> 00:35:17,480 It's out there to be won 418 00:35:17,527 --> 00:35:19,279 Today you'll know I love you 419 00:35:19,327 --> 00:35:22,080 Today you'll see it's true 420 00:35:22,127 --> 00:35:25,278 Today's a day for saying "I love you" 421 00:35:28,927 --> 00:35:32,556 - What a swell day to live in America! - Gee, it sure is, buddy! 422 00:35:37,487 --> 00:35:39,398 How much d'you make today? 423 00:35:39,447 --> 00:35:43,759 - (Boy) One million bucks! - (Boy 2) Did you see the Wall Street Journal? 424 00:35:43,807 --> 00:35:47,322 - (Girl) Stocks are rising! Have a nice day! - (Girl 2) Have a nice day! 425 00:35:47,367 --> 00:35:49,164 TAP DANCING 426 00:35:57,407 --> 00:35:59,716 (Chorus) Today will be better 427 00:35:59,767 --> 00:36:02,600 Today will be the one... 428 00:36:04,047 --> 00:36:06,720 DOOR OPENS 429 00:36:06,767 --> 00:36:09,156 - Michelle? - I'm in here, Tony. 430 00:36:09,207 --> 00:36:11,880 TOILET DOOR CLOSES 431 00:36:13,047 --> 00:36:14,526 Don't come in. 432 00:36:14,567 --> 00:36:16,239 I've got vomit in my hair. 433 00:36:24,927 --> 00:36:26,918 I just searched half the school for you. 434 00:36:28,567 --> 00:36:30,046 I don't know why. 435 00:36:31,447 --> 00:36:33,517 Because you care about me. 436 00:36:35,807 --> 00:36:39,436 I told you I loved you, didn't I? The day it happened. 437 00:36:39,487 --> 00:36:40,806 The accident. 438 00:36:43,887 --> 00:36:47,562 Do you actually remember, or is that a guess? 439 00:36:47,607 --> 00:36:50,883 Does it matter? Doesn't change anything. 440 00:36:53,767 --> 00:36:54,756 No. 441 00:36:58,087 --> 00:37:00,123 Should I say something else now? 442 00:37:02,047 --> 00:37:03,082 No. 443 00:37:05,007 --> 00:37:06,838 Let's just say nothing for a bit. 444 00:37:09,007 --> 00:37:10,918 SONG IN MUSICAL ENDS 445 00:37:10,967 --> 00:37:12,958 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 446 00:37:25,007 --> 00:37:29,080 - Michelle! Is Chelle OK? - I gave her some mild stuff to make her vomit. 447 00:37:29,127 --> 00:37:31,766 From the look of her waist, I'm sure she's thrown up worse. 448 00:37:31,807 --> 00:37:33,638 Who the fuck are you? 449 00:37:33,687 --> 00:37:35,882 Do you believe in magic, Maxxie? 450 00:37:37,687 --> 00:37:38,802 When we kiss... 451 00:37:38,847 --> 00:37:40,166 When we kiss... 452 00:37:40,207 --> 00:37:42,801 I'm gay! Do you understand that?! 453 00:37:42,847 --> 00:37:46,123 Look at me! I'm as close to a boy as you can get! 454 00:37:46,167 --> 00:37:48,123 You could love me. 455 00:37:49,207 --> 00:37:50,799 < We could love each other. 456 00:37:50,847 --> 00:37:52,326 You're fucking crazy! 457 00:37:52,367 --> 00:37:54,323 Excuse me. Excuse me. 458 00:37:54,367 --> 00:37:56,927 (Chorus)... You put it all together and what have you got? 459 00:37:56,967 --> 00:38:00,357 You can't help it, can't get it enough 460 00:38:00,407 --> 00:38:02,716 I'm Boogie-Woogie Bagel Boy Let's get stuffedl 461 00:38:02,767 --> 00:38:05,839 (Chorus) He's the Boogie-Woogie Bagel Boy Watch him move... 462 00:38:05,887 --> 00:38:08,447 You see? Just like a boy. 463 00:38:09,447 --> 00:38:12,837 Can you feel how hard my heart is beating? 464 00:38:12,887 --> 00:38:15,720 That's because by the end of this play, you'll have kissed me. 465 00:38:15,767 --> 00:38:20,318 And when you kiss me, everything will change. Maxxie, I love you. 466 00:38:20,367 --> 00:38:22,483 EXPLOSION 467 00:38:22,527 --> 00:38:24,722 SCREAMING 468 00:38:27,047 --> 00:38:29,561 EXPLOSION AND SCREAMING 469 00:38:40,527 --> 00:38:42,757 That's our cue. 470 00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:47,041 PIANO PLAYS 471 00:38:50,607 --> 00:38:56,079 Once I was a lonely banker 472 00:38:56,127 --> 00:39:01,042 All I cared for were margins and accounts 473 00:39:02,767 --> 00:39:04,405 I dreamed 474 00:39:04,447 --> 00:39:08,804 Of Dow Jones and the FTSE 475 00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:14,558 I didn't see my credit running out 476 00:39:15,247 --> 00:39:20,685 I passed you on the phone each morning 477 00:39:21,287 --> 00:39:26,919 I always gave a cheery smile 478 00:39:26,967 --> 00:39:29,322 But you 479 00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:32,439 You never even saw me 480 00:39:33,447 --> 00:39:38,885 You were far too busy all the while 481 00:39:40,207 --> 00:39:44,883 Then came the day Osama blew us away 482 00:39:44,927 --> 00:39:48,602 (Chorus) Osama blew them away 483 00:39:48,647 --> 00:39:53,675 And now you know how I feel 484 00:39:55,727 --> 00:40:00,357 (Chorus) Then came the day Osama blew us away 485 00:40:00,407 --> 00:40:04,195 Osama blew them away 486 00:40:04,247 --> 00:40:09,116 Then came the day Osama blew us away 487 00:40:09,167 --> 00:40:13,285 Osama blew them away 488 00:40:13,327 --> 00:40:18,321 Then came the day Osama blew us away 489 00:40:18,367 --> 00:40:19,402 Osama blew them... 490 00:40:19,447 --> 00:40:21,483 (Maxxie) Nothing. 491 00:40:21,527 --> 00:40:25,156 I felt... nothing. 492 00:40:26,247 --> 00:40:27,885 You disgust me. 493 00:40:32,247 --> 00:40:35,796 No! That's not how it goes! It's not! It's not! 494 00:40:35,847 --> 00:40:39,726 You think you can fuck my life up and I'll start fancying you? 495 00:40:39,767 --> 00:40:42,201 Look at yourself. 496 00:40:42,247 --> 00:40:43,805 Stay out of my life. 497 00:41:21,007 --> 00:41:22,235 Now, that's an ending! 498 00:41:26,927 --> 00:41:28,599 SHE SCREAMS 499 00:41:40,247 --> 00:41:45,719 Must be the crazy blood in me 500 00:41:45,767 --> 00:41:49,316 Makes me feel like I do 501 00:41:50,567 --> 00:41:54,276 So mean and evil 502 00:41:55,887 --> 00:41:59,323 So low down and blue 503 00:41:59,367 --> 00:42:04,282 If you see me comin' 504 00:42:04,327 --> 00:42:08,957 Better turn and look away 505 00:42:09,007 --> 00:42:13,364 If I get too close to you 506 00:42:13,407 --> 00:42:16,240 Better close your eyes 507 00:42:16,287 --> 00:42:20,724 Can't go on this way... 508 00:42:30,567 --> 00:42:32,364 You look beautiful. 509 00:42:38,487 --> 00:42:41,126 < You always look beautiful to me. 510 00:42:41,167 --> 00:42:44,557 ...So mean and evil 511 00:42:44,607 --> 00:42:47,360 So low down 512 00:42:47,407 --> 00:42:51,798 And blue 513 00:42:57,287 --> 00:42:59,403 Argh! Fuck! 514 00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:02,766 Oh. Hi. 515 00:43:05,847 --> 00:43:06,836 Hi. 516 00:43:10,007 --> 00:43:10,996 Hi. 517 00:43:11,047 --> 00:43:13,277 - Can I come in? - Uh... 518 00:43:14,287 --> 00:43:15,720 Well, um... 519 00:43:15,767 --> 00:43:17,962 Maxxie says you're a psycho. 520 00:43:19,927 --> 00:43:21,645 He thinks I fancy him. 521 00:43:21,687 --> 00:43:24,565 I don't. I fancy you. 522 00:43:24,607 --> 00:43:28,885 I wanna have sex with you. But I can't do it from out here, can I? 523 00:43:29,967 --> 00:43:32,879 Shit, man! Biology revision, here I come! 524 00:43:40,687 --> 00:43:41,915 I'm a virgin. 525 00:43:41,967 --> 00:43:43,958 Oh. Congratulations. 526 00:43:48,047 --> 00:43:51,722 You mind if I list the complete filmography of Hugh Grant since '92? 527 00:43:53,887 --> 00:43:55,366 Slow things down. 528 00:44:00,647 --> 00:44:01,875 Bitter Moon. 529 00:44:03,087 --> 00:44:05,123 Remains Of The Day. 530 00:44:05,167 --> 00:44:07,965 Sirens. Four Weddings. 531 00:44:08,007 --> 00:44:11,283 An Awfully Big Adventure - that one was rubbish. 532 00:44:12,367 --> 00:44:14,119 The Englishman Who Came... 533 00:44:14,167 --> 00:44:16,237 Came Up A Hill... 534 00:44:16,287 --> 00:44:18,721 And Went Down A Mountain. 535 00:44:18,767 --> 00:44:21,076 Nine Months. Sense... 536 00:44:21,127 --> 00:44:23,083 And Sensibil... 537 00:44:25,327 --> 00:44:28,319 Restoration. Extreme Measures. 538 00:44:28,367 --> 00:44:32,246 Ah... Notting Hill. Mickey Blue Eyes. 539 00:44:32,287 --> 00:44:34,323 Small Time Crooks. 540 00:44:34,367 --> 00:44:36,323 Bridget Jones! Ah! 541 00:44:37,967 --> 00:44:39,719 Bridget... Jones! 542 00:44:39,767 --> 00:44:40,916 Ah! 543 00:44:40,967 --> 00:44:42,685 Oh! 544 00:44:42,727 --> 00:44:44,206 Oh! 545 00:44:44,247 --> 00:44:45,680 Ah... 546 00:44:47,447 --> 00:44:49,403 I never get as far as About A Boy. 547 00:44:49,453 --> 00:44:54,003 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39139

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.