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1
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Nowhere in man's history
does he display more tenacity,
2
00:01:29,069 --> 00:01:32,402
more perseverance,
than in his search for eternal youth.
3
00:01:32,472 --> 00:01:36,636
Halting the relentless process of aging
has been a constant dream of man's...
4
00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,701
and woman's.
5
00:01:57,097 --> 00:02:01,090
Hecate-
6
00:02:10,544 --> 00:02:12,478
Eternal youth-
Is it really a dream,
7
00:02:12,546 --> 00:02:15,743
or is it possible that somewhere
someone found the secret?
8
00:02:17,417 --> 00:02:22,081
The following experience gave me a new attitude
on the whole subject of youth and aging.
9
00:02:29,196 --> 00:02:31,130
September 20, 8:05 p. m.
10
00:02:31,198 --> 00:02:33,132
William Cubby, age 22,
11
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:38,297
deeply concerned with retaining
his youthful vigor, his trim physique.
12
00:02:38,371 --> 00:02:41,135
This concern had made him
a dedicatedjogger.
13
00:02:42,142 --> 00:02:44,610
Cubby would never know
if thejogging really helped.
14
00:02:44,678 --> 00:02:46,737
He was the first
in a series of Chicagoans...
15
00:02:46,813 --> 00:02:51,079
Who were spared the ordeal
of seeing their youth slip away, slowly.
16
00:04:52,372 --> 00:04:57,833
See what can happen with all this
emphasis on staying young? Poor old fool.
17
00:04:57,911 --> 00:05:01,108
What's so unusual about a man of 90
having a heart attack and dying?
18
00:05:01,181 --> 00:05:03,240
He was jogging. Jogging!
19
00:05:03,316 --> 00:05:05,978
I'll be happy if I can bend down
and tie my shoelaces when I'm 90.
20
00:05:06,052 --> 00:05:09,021
If you take better care of yourself,
with the proper food and exercise,
21
00:05:09,089 --> 00:05:12,616
you should be able to do everything
at 90 that you could do at 19.
22
00:05:14,194 --> 00:05:16,890
Good morning, everyone.
Good morning, Mr. Vincenzo.
23
00:05:16,963 --> 00:05:19,557
What a lovely morning today.
Yeah.
24
00:05:22,335 --> 00:05:25,827
- You notice anything different about me today? Anything different?
- Different?
25
00:05:25,905 --> 00:05:28,066
Yes.
26
00:05:31,845 --> 00:05:33,813
I lost five pounds.
27
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:38,112
Exercise, yoga 45 minutes a day,
and I skip breakfast.
28
00:05:43,923 --> 00:05:47,825
- Have we run out of things to do around here?
- No.
29
00:05:49,929 --> 00:05:52,557
You are working on
the swinging singles update, Carl, right?
30
00:05:52,632 --> 00:05:55,192
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
What have you come up with so far?
31
00:05:55,268 --> 00:05:59,295
Uh, listen, there have been a lot of changes
in the last 10 years in the dating scene.
32
00:05:59,372 --> 00:06:02,739
That was the reason for the update. You
will have it on my desk by Friday, won't you?
33
00:06:02,809 --> 00:06:04,902
- Friday. Right.
- Fine.
34
00:06:04,978 --> 00:06:06,912
Uh, that's just a rough draft.
35
00:06:09,416 --> 00:06:13,079
Tony, I've got here...
36
00:06:13,153 --> 00:06:17,556
a very nice French,
caramel-covered doughnut.
37
00:06:17,624 --> 00:06:20,787
You can have it for breakfast.
I won't tell anybody.
38
00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:24,956
This fellow would have never reached 90
eating stuff like that.
39
00:06:25,031 --> 00:06:27,829
Yeah, but look what he
died from- exercise. Carl-
40
00:06:27,901 --> 00:06:30,233
Now, Tony, that is a rough draft.
You understand?
41
00:06:30,303 --> 00:06:32,362
I understand.
I'm just blocking it out-
42
00:06:32,439 --> 00:06:34,737
I'm just gonna glance at it.
That's all.
43
00:06:34,808 --> 00:06:37,436
Well, it's, uh- It's very rough.
44
00:06:39,412 --> 00:06:41,676
What's that?
45
00:06:42,682 --> 00:06:46,709
- That's for colds and flu.
- What's the other one?
46
00:06:49,622 --> 00:06:51,556
- That's vitamin "E."
- What's that for?
47
00:06:55,061 --> 00:06:59,157
You know, Tony, there was something
very peculiar about that oldjogger.
48
00:06:59,232 --> 00:07:02,224
This is quite good, Carl.
I will get the rest of it on Friday?
49
00:07:02,302 --> 00:07:06,238
- He was jogging along the River Road-
- Carl, forget about that fella.
50
00:07:06,306 --> 00:07:09,139
Nobody cares
about 90-year-old people!
51
00:07:12,445 --> 00:07:16,006
Tony-
Carl, this is a youth-oriented culture.
52
00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:18,676
Their music,
clothing styles, language-
53
00:07:18,752 --> 00:07:22,415
That's where it is news-wise
at this point in time.
54
00:07:22,489 --> 00:07:24,980
But that body had no I.D. On it.
55
00:07:25,058 --> 00:07:27,253
I mean, it had no social security.
56
00:07:27,327 --> 00:07:29,557
It had no Medicaid, Medicare.
It had nothing.
57
00:07:29,629 --> 00:07:34,498
Carl, look, last week on theJohnny Carson
show, they had an Indian, 110 years old.
58
00:07:34,567 --> 00:07:39,869
He wore this feathered war bonnet, and
he was doing push-ups, and it was dull.
59
00:07:39,939 --> 00:07:42,203
I get the point, Tony. I
get the point. I hope so.
60
00:07:42,275 --> 00:07:45,005
It's, uh- It's just that...
61
00:07:45,078 --> 00:07:48,104
along that particular strip
along the River Road...
62
00:07:48,181 --> 00:07:52,584
means that that old jogger
had to run for four miles.
63
00:07:52,652 --> 00:07:54,620
I mean, a 90-year-old man.
64
00:07:54,687 --> 00:07:57,713
Lfhe had drove to River Road,
they'd have found his car by now.
65
00:07:57,791 --> 00:08:00,851
And if somebody dropped him off
down there,
66
00:08:00,927 --> 00:08:03,293
whoever it was would've come down
to claim the body by now.
67
00:08:04,664 --> 00:08:07,497
But you're right, Tony.
Who cares? Nobody cares.
68
00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:10,866
New York wants
that swinging singles feature.
69
00:08:10,937 --> 00:08:15,897
It wants it light, perceptive,
full of insight and by Friday!
70
00:08:15,975 --> 00:08:19,138
Right, right, right.
I get it, Tony. Right.
71
00:08:20,947 --> 00:08:22,938
Ca-
72
00:08:26,052 --> 00:08:30,751
The most conservative newspaper in Chicago has
a classified column headed "Social Clubs. '"
73
00:08:30,824 --> 00:08:34,260
The ads offer computer matching,
astrological mating,
74
00:08:34,327 --> 00:08:37,387
but it all boils down
to a simple need.
75
00:08:37,463 --> 00:08:39,727
You want a girl, right?
76
00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:43,428
No, not exactly. What I really
wanna know is how it all works.
77
00:08:43,503 --> 00:08:47,667
I find you the girl of your dreams is
how it works. And then what happens?
78
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:52,871
Magic, love,
maybe even friendship.
79
00:08:52,946 --> 00:08:56,905
Uh, here, take one of these cards
and fill it out, and we'll get started.
80
00:08:56,983 --> 00:08:58,917
Uh-huh. Well,
can I think about it?
81
00:08:58,985 --> 00:09:02,751
What's to think about?
Oh, now, don't be nervous.
82
00:09:02,822 --> 00:09:05,484
Why, I take care of everything.
83
00:09:05,558 --> 00:09:07,549
Now, uh, generally,
84
00:09:07,627 --> 00:09:12,428
you meet the girl right here, usually-
come and sit down-
85
00:09:12,498 --> 00:09:17,128
usually with her relatives,
and we have a nice cup of tea.
86
00:09:17,203 --> 00:09:19,694
Come and sit down.
Yeah, all right, all right.
87
00:09:19,772 --> 00:09:23,264
And it's very informal.
88
00:09:23,343 --> 00:09:26,005
Um, is there something
you wanted to tell me?
89
00:09:26,079 --> 00:09:28,377
Uh-
Something you're ashamed of?
90
00:09:28,448 --> 00:09:31,042
No. You see,
I'm a newspaper reporter.
91
00:09:31,117 --> 00:09:34,143
Well, that's not so bad.
I'll find you a girl anyway.
92
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:36,415
No, I don't want a girl.
See, I'm looking for an angle...
93
00:09:36,489 --> 00:09:38,514
for a story I'm writing
on the singles scene.
94
00:09:38,591 --> 00:09:40,525
You mean you're wasting my time
for nothing?
95
00:09:40,593 --> 00:09:44,324
I chose you because I think you've got the
whole picture. I mean, the whole schmear.
96
00:09:44,397 --> 00:09:47,298
Besides that, I've got a very tough
editor, and I've got a very short deadline.
97
00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:50,097
Are you married?
Me? No.
98
00:09:50,169 --> 00:09:53,661
What's your biggest competitor?
Oh, singles apartments,
99
00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:57,471
singles bars,
computer matching. Oh?
100
00:09:57,543 --> 00:10:00,478
- Have you ever been married?
- No. Never, never, never.
101
00:10:00,546 --> 00:10:03,709
Uh-huh. Computer matching.
I thought that went out with love beads.
102
00:10:03,783 --> 00:10:07,480
Well, I watched a lot of them fold up,
but there's still a few left.
103
00:10:07,553 --> 00:10:09,544
- What's the biggest one?
- Max Match.
104
00:10:09,622 --> 00:10:11,886
- Max-
- Oh, these people.
105
00:10:11,958 --> 00:10:16,088
They're only concerned about
youth and physical beauty.
106
00:10:16,162 --> 00:10:20,155
- Egomaniacs trying to hook up with each other.
- Yeah.
107
00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:24,135
I mean, charm,
steady work, sincerity-
108
00:10:24,203 --> 00:10:26,637
These things
don't count for anything.
109
00:10:26,706 --> 00:10:30,608
- Uh, you have a good job?
- Yeah, it's all right.
110
00:10:30,677 --> 00:10:33,646
What are your hobbies? None. I'm
too busy. I work all the time.
111
00:10:33,713 --> 00:10:36,113
Oh, good.
That means you're ambitious.
112
00:10:36,182 --> 00:10:40,141
Oh, I've got a lot of nice
girls for you to meet. What?
113
00:10:40,219 --> 00:10:42,915
What are you doing there?
What do you got?
114
00:10:42,989 --> 00:10:44,923
No, Bella.
You got the wrong idea.
115
00:10:44,991 --> 00:10:46,925
No, I'm- I'm not
in the market for a wife.
116
00:10:46,993 --> 00:10:49,120
Me, married? That's ridiculous.
117
00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:51,527
No, thanks. Thanks a lot, Bella,
but I've gotta go to work.
118
00:10:51,597 --> 00:10:54,225
Oh, good.
Business does come first.
119
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:58,396
Don't worry. I'll be in touch.
Yeah.
120
00:10:58,471 --> 00:11:01,634
Newspaperman.
121
00:11:01,708 --> 00:11:03,699
Author.
122
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:45,182
September 21, 8:13 p. m.
Cynthia Tibbs,
123
00:11:45,251 --> 00:11:47,651
young and beautiful
and determined to stay that way,
124
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,712
was performing
her nightly exercise.
125
00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:55,250
Cynthia's concern over aging
was more real than she would ever know.
126
00:12:45,411 --> 00:12:47,641
September 22, 10:00 a. m.
127
00:12:47,713 --> 00:12:50,409
I had spent the night
hitting singles bars,
128
00:12:50,483 --> 00:12:53,475
hearing all about biorhythms,
Harvey Wallbangers,
129
00:12:53,553 --> 00:12:57,319
rugby, tuned exhausts
and, of course, sex.
130
00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:59,858
I got enough to write
that part of my feature.
131
00:12:59,926 --> 00:13:01,860
Singles apartments were up
for the next day,
132
00:13:01,928 --> 00:13:06,297
and I found they came in all sizes
in varying degrees of exclusivity.
133
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,291
I decided to start at the top.
134
00:14:04,357 --> 00:14:06,348
This way.
135
00:14:53,072 --> 00:14:55,006
May I have that, please?
Oh, yes, of course.
136
00:14:55,074 --> 00:14:57,474
I was just looking for someone in
authority to give it to. Mmm. Thank you.
137
00:14:57,543 --> 00:15:00,034
What did the medical examiner say?
May I ask who you are?
138
00:15:00,112 --> 00:15:03,047
Yes, of course.
See, Kolchak, I.N.S.
139
00:15:03,115 --> 00:15:06,107
You're Kolchak?
Yeah, that's right.
140
00:15:06,185 --> 00:15:08,551
You're the one the precinct captains
are always talking about?
141
00:15:09,789 --> 00:15:11,723
What do they say?
That you're a pinwheel.
142
00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:16,558
That's because those idiots don't know
- I don't accept other people's judgments. I make my own evaluations.
143
00:15:18,397 --> 00:15:21,127
Are you sure that you work
on the Chicago Police Department...
144
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,498
and not for some independent
agency I don't know anything about?
145
00:15:23,569 --> 00:15:26,037
Uh, Chicago P.D., Sergeant Orkin.
146
00:15:26,105 --> 00:15:28,073
I like to think I understand
the value of the news media.
147
00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:30,973
I feel the police and press
should work in concert.
148
00:15:32,478 --> 00:15:36,505
Well, where you been all my life?
In Edgewood, out in the boonies.
149
00:15:36,582 --> 00:15:38,914
My first case is
a hundred-year-old Jane Doe,
150
00:15:38,985 --> 00:15:41,579
in a singles playground,
dressed in a body stocking.
151
00:15:41,654 --> 00:15:47,251
Uh-huh. Why would she wear a ring
that was so loose it falls off her finger?
152
00:15:47,326 --> 00:15:51,558
When my grandmother hit 80, she insisted
on wearing her stockings over her shoes.
153
00:15:51,631 --> 00:15:53,622
Sometimes they get that way.
They do, huh?
154
00:15:53,699 --> 00:15:56,361
Yeah.
155
00:15:59,538 --> 00:16:02,473
Miss Tibbs?
Just a minute.
156
00:16:02,541 --> 00:16:05,032
Take a look around the bedroom.
What's the party's name?
157
00:16:05,111 --> 00:16:07,944
Cynthia Tibbs, a professional
convention hostess.
158
00:16:08,014 --> 00:16:10,380
Beautiful girl.
Is she at work now?
159
00:16:10,449 --> 00:16:13,384
I guess, or she's sleeping
out these days. Uh-huh.
160
00:16:13,452 --> 00:16:16,285
She went away and just left
this sliding door wide open?
161
00:16:16,355 --> 00:16:19,051
Why not? Who's gonna rob her
up here on the third floor?
162
00:16:19,125 --> 00:16:21,150
Besides, this is a security building.
Uh-huh.
163
00:16:21,227 --> 00:16:24,128
Miss Tibbs mention anything to you
about having a relative staying?
164
00:16:24,196 --> 00:16:26,323
Mother, grandmother, aunt?
No, no.
165
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:30,495
No sign of an older woman's clothes
and no suitcases. What's this doing on?
166
00:16:30,569 --> 00:16:34,027
She probably left that on so people
would think someone was home.
167
00:16:34,106 --> 00:16:37,598
I do the same thing, in case of robbery.
I thought this was a security building.
168
00:16:37,677 --> 00:16:40,805
This is the last apartment. I don't
know how the old girl got where she got,
169
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,644
but she didn't take a gainer
off one of these balconies.
170
00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:55,685
Has anybody been in to identify him?
Nope.
171
00:16:55,761 --> 00:16:58,195
What about the old lady they
brought in today? Are you kidding?
172
00:16:58,264 --> 00:17:01,927
Read the coroner's report. Puts them
both at about 100 years old. Yeah.
173
00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:04,799
Nobody comes in to identify
people that age.
174
00:17:04,870 --> 00:17:10,775
You know, he must have lived a rich full life
to have hung on to such a ripe old age. Mmm.
175
00:17:10,843 --> 00:17:13,971
Yeah. It says on here
the cause of death was heart failure.
176
00:17:14,046 --> 00:17:17,538
What about the old lady? Same.
Do you mind if I lower the sheet?
177
00:17:17,616 --> 00:17:20,050
My arms are getting tired.
Wait. There's a mark on his finger.
178
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,111
It looks like a ring mark.
Do you got the ring?
179
00:17:23,189 --> 00:17:26,158
It may be in
the personal belongings box.
180
00:17:26,225 --> 00:17:29,558
Personal belongings box.
Uh-huh.
181
00:17:29,628 --> 00:17:32,961
Uh-huh. "11684."
182
00:17:33,032 --> 00:17:36,627
Uh, how much, Gordy?
Not this time.
183
00:17:36,702 --> 00:17:38,863
You're always down in the morgue
asking special favors.
184
00:17:38,938 --> 00:17:41,463
No, I always pay. You promise
money, but you never come through.
185
00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,531
No, you got me mixed up
with somebody else.
186
00:17:43,609 --> 00:17:45,543
How about five bucks?
Nope.
187
00:17:45,611 --> 00:17:48,273
We morgue attendants
are always getting burned by you.
188
00:17:48,347 --> 00:17:52,306
We talked it over, and we want a
portable TV for when things are slow.
189
00:17:52,385 --> 00:17:54,979
Color.
A color television set?
190
00:17:55,054 --> 00:17:57,454
Are you out of your mind?
I don't have that kind of money.
191
00:17:57,523 --> 00:18:00,617
By the way, that glass peeper
belongs to the old man.
192
00:18:00,693 --> 00:18:02,627
Why wasn't it in the autopsy report?
193
00:18:02,695 --> 00:18:06,256
The pathologists don't bother doing
full workups with real old people.
194
00:18:06,332 --> 00:18:08,493
I mean,
everything's wrong with them.
195
00:18:08,567 --> 00:18:10,501
It goes in the belongings box.
196
00:18:10,569 --> 00:18:13,231
Listen, Gordy,
I've got to get in that box.
197
00:18:13,305 --> 00:18:15,739
Come on.
You know I can't afford a television set.
198
00:18:15,808 --> 00:18:18,208
Aw, how much can it cost ya?
199
00:18:18,277 --> 00:18:22,338
Well, black and white?
Color.
200
00:18:22,415 --> 00:18:25,612
Black and white.
Eighteen-inch screen?
201
00:18:25,684 --> 00:18:28,585
Used.
It's a deal.
202
00:18:28,654 --> 00:18:30,588
All right.
That's the glass eye.
203
00:18:30,656 --> 00:18:34,183
Glass eye. Right. Okay.
204
00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:36,888
Jogging trousers.
Shoes.
205
00:18:36,962 --> 00:18:40,022
Shoes.
He had big feet, huh?
206
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:43,432
This is his jacket. Down here-
What's this?
207
00:18:43,502 --> 00:18:45,436
A key.
Uh-huh.
208
00:18:45,504 --> 00:18:47,734
Where's the ring? There's
no ring in here. Where is it?
209
00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:50,332
Well, either he wasn't wearing it
when he died, or it fell off.
210
00:18:50,409 --> 00:18:52,639
No one here took it.
Nothing gets you fired so fast.
211
00:18:52,711 --> 00:18:54,702
Yeah, all right.
Concerning your television set-
212
00:18:54,780 --> 00:18:57,112
Please, please, no threats.
N-
213
00:18:57,183 --> 00:18:59,310
We made a deal,
and I let you look in the box.
214
00:18:59,385 --> 00:19:02,013
Is it my fault if the ring
isn't in there? Well, uh-
215
00:19:02,087 --> 00:19:07,024
Now, I think the TV'll go right there.
Uh-huh.
216
00:19:07,092 --> 00:19:12,587
And if I'm not watching Let's Make a Deal by the end
of next week, there'll be no more deals down here.
217
00:19:12,665 --> 00:19:18,399
Yes, sir. If Monty Hall can't liven
this place up, there's no hope.
218
00:19:18,471 --> 00:19:20,462
Thanks a lot, Gordy.
219
00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:55,866
You there, there's no parking
along this stretch of the road.
220
00:19:58,410 --> 00:20:02,369
What do you got there? What
do you got there? Huh? Oh. Uh-
221
00:20:02,448 --> 00:20:04,382
A four-leaf clover.
222
00:20:32,111 --> 00:20:34,409
Yes?
223
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,471
Send him in.
224
00:20:45,624 --> 00:20:47,615
Come in.
225
00:20:48,761 --> 00:20:51,025
Well, this is nice, really.
226
00:20:51,096 --> 00:20:53,087
It's comfortable for me.
227
00:20:53,165 --> 00:20:57,033
May I call you Lance?
Sure. That'd be terrific.
228
00:20:57,102 --> 00:21:01,198
The computer was right.
You're charming. Yeah.
229
00:21:01,273 --> 00:21:03,264
Sit down.
230
00:21:07,713 --> 00:21:10,841
Max Match is very exclusive
in itself, Lance,
231
00:21:10,916 --> 00:21:14,977
but within the general membership
there are superior people.
232
00:21:15,054 --> 00:21:17,284
Truly superior in every respect.
233
00:21:17,356 --> 00:21:21,122
- The computer picks them out.
It picked you.
234
00:21:21,193 --> 00:21:25,630
This means that you will be matched
with the most beautiful people in Chicago.
235
00:21:25,698 --> 00:21:28,531
- You will be a member of the Olympians.
- Is it expensive?
236
00:21:28,601 --> 00:21:30,535
No, there's no charge.
237
00:21:30,603 --> 00:21:32,969
It's an indulgence of mine.
238
00:21:33,038 --> 00:21:36,166
You see, beauty and youth are the most
important things in the world to me.
239
00:21:37,309 --> 00:21:40,244
I have to ask you a question.
It's very important.
240
00:21:40,312 --> 00:21:42,371
Was everything
on your application truthful?
241
00:21:43,616 --> 00:21:45,675
I mean, do you have
any physical imperfections?
242
00:21:45,751 --> 00:21:49,812
- No, none at all.
- But there is something.
243
00:21:49,888 --> 00:21:54,518
Well, my name really isn't Lance Mervin.
I changed it legally.
244
00:21:54,593 --> 00:21:58,689
Well, that doesn't matter.
The name you picked suits you very well.
245
00:21:58,764 --> 00:22:02,461
- Thank you.
- This makes you an Olympian.
246
00:22:02,534 --> 00:22:04,525
Congratulations.
247
00:22:10,042 --> 00:22:13,739
Now all the gods and goddesses
will know who you are.
248
00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:16,839
And this scroll makes it official.
249
00:22:18,784 --> 00:22:22,515
- When does the action start?
- Oh, tonight.
250
00:22:23,989 --> 00:22:27,447
Well, I don't like
what you're doing, Irvin.
251
00:22:27,526 --> 00:22:29,517
Mother, can't you call me Lance?
252
00:22:29,595 --> 00:22:32,393
No. You were Irvin
when I was in labor.
253
00:22:32,464 --> 00:22:34,398
You were Irvin when I
fed you with my breast.
254
00:22:34,466 --> 00:22:37,492
You'll always be Irvin for me.
I know.
255
00:22:37,569 --> 00:22:40,595
What kind of a name is Lance
for a cost accountant?
256
00:22:40,673 --> 00:22:43,665
That's the idea. I'm trying to get
my identity crisis together. What?
257
00:22:43,742 --> 00:22:45,903
I want to change my image.
258
00:22:47,379 --> 00:22:50,041
I don't understand that.
259
00:22:50,115 --> 00:22:52,413
And I don't understand
you using a machine either...
260
00:22:52,484 --> 00:22:56,250
to pick some person
you could spend your whole life with.
261
00:22:56,321 --> 00:22:58,312
Are you listening to me?
262
00:22:59,591 --> 00:23:01,821
Or maybe you're thinking
just of tonight.
263
00:23:03,295 --> 00:23:06,025
I'd like to see
the kind of girl you asked for.
264
00:23:07,633 --> 00:23:10,568
I asked for a girl just like you.
265
00:23:10,636 --> 00:23:12,627
Wash your hands.
266
00:23:16,375 --> 00:23:18,366
Mmm.
267
00:23:18,444 --> 00:23:21,936
Some kind of lady you're meeting
in those short pants, Irvin.
268
00:23:22,014 --> 00:23:23,948
These are tennis shorts.
269
00:23:24,016 --> 00:23:27,975
It's what you wear on a tennis date.
Mm-hmm.
270
00:23:28,053 --> 00:23:30,044
Call me Lance.
271
00:23:31,123 --> 00:23:33,057
Don't be out late, Irvin!
272
00:23:34,226 --> 00:23:38,788
The key I had pilfered
was stamped with the number 118 "E. '"
273
00:23:38,864 --> 00:23:41,765
"E'"what?
It took some footwork on my part,
274
00:23:41,834 --> 00:23:45,964
But I found a building on Akron Street
that matched the number.
275
00:23:52,745 --> 00:23:55,009
Wrong floor. I'm downstairs.
276
00:24:36,388 --> 00:24:38,379
Hello?
277
00:24:40,259 --> 00:24:44,752
Hello?
278
00:24:50,335 --> 00:24:52,326
Anybody home?
279
00:25:07,653 --> 00:25:09,644
Phew.
280
00:25:20,799 --> 00:25:25,327
"William Cubby.
Max Match Corporation. "
281
00:25:29,107 --> 00:25:31,098
The occupant's name
was William Cubby,
282
00:25:31,176 --> 00:25:35,010
and whatever he was now, he had been
considered a very special single...
283
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,277
by Max Match just a few days ago.
284
00:25:38,350 --> 00:25:43,686
The scroll welcomed him into the inner circle
of the super-beautiful- the perfect people.
285
00:25:43,755 --> 00:25:47,350
But perhaps Cubby wasn't perfect.
286
00:26:04,843 --> 00:26:06,834
Oh.
287
00:26:19,458 --> 00:26:22,393
Indeed, it seemed that William Cubby
wasn't perfect at all.
288
00:26:22,461 --> 00:26:27,922
And Irvin, a. k. a. Lance? He would
never again be concerned about his image.
289
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,801
His mother was right. Lance's appointment
had indeed been with a different kind oflady.
290
00:28:00,692 --> 00:28:04,856
Yeah, that's right. And, of course,
I thought about you immediately-
291
00:28:04,930 --> 00:28:08,263
about what you said about wanting to
work in concert with the press, with me.
292
00:28:08,333 --> 00:28:11,166
I said that?
Yeah. Well, here's our opportunity.
293
00:28:11,236 --> 00:28:14,330
You can provide me
with the proof that I need.
294
00:28:14,406 --> 00:28:16,397
Uh, proof-
295
00:28:18,076 --> 00:28:23,639
Proof a hundred-year-old jogger is actually a
22-year-old stereo salesman named William Cubby-
296
00:28:23,715 --> 00:28:25,649
that the two men
are one and the same?
297
00:28:25,717 --> 00:28:28,550
Yeah, that's right. I know
what you're thinking. Uh-huh.
298
00:28:28,620 --> 00:28:30,713
You're thinking, why should I
supply him with proof?
299
00:28:30,789 --> 00:28:32,882
- What's in it for me, right?
- Right.
300
00:28:32,958 --> 00:28:35,483
Why did you transfer here
from Wedgewood?
301
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,529
- Edgewood.
- Right. Why did you make the move?
302
00:28:38,597 --> 00:28:42,328
It was for excitement and thrills
and advancement, right?
303
00:28:42,401 --> 00:28:47,065
Okay, now picture this. Picture yourself
walking right into your captain's office,
304
00:28:47,139 --> 00:28:50,336
and you tell him
that you got this case licked-
305
00:28:50,409 --> 00:28:52,536
that all these old people,
who are embarrassing...
306
00:28:52,611 --> 00:28:55,774
everybody in the department- everybody
else- by dropping dead all over the place...
307
00:28:55,847 --> 00:28:58,213
aren't really old people after all.
308
00:28:58,283 --> 00:29:03,277
They're really a bunch of virile,
supple swingers!
309
00:29:03,355 --> 00:29:05,289
- You are a pinwheel.
- What?
310
00:29:05,357 --> 00:29:08,952
When I came back that first day and told
the captain you weren't such a bad guy,
311
00:29:09,027 --> 00:29:12,053
he almost busted a gut,
finally had to go to the men's room.
312
00:29:12,130 --> 00:29:14,621
Look here. They stuck this
in my coffee mug.
313
00:29:18,236 --> 00:29:21,069
"A pinwheel for a pinhead. "
314
00:29:22,174 --> 00:29:24,165
Well, I wouldn't pay
any attention to that.
315
00:29:24,242 --> 00:29:26,608
They're always kidding, those guys.
316
00:29:26,678 --> 00:29:31,809
Now the old man in the morgue had a
glass eye- blue- and so did William Cubby.
317
00:29:31,883 --> 00:29:34,374
It was marked right down
on his driver's license.
318
00:29:34,453 --> 00:29:38,549
Here it is. Here it is.
There's the spare blue eye. See?
319
00:29:38,623 --> 00:29:42,423
- Our case rests on a glass eye?
- Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
320
00:29:42,494 --> 00:29:45,895
It kept nagging me. You see, something
was wrong with the driver's license.
321
00:29:45,964 --> 00:29:49,263
- And sure enough, there it was-
artificial eye. - Let me get this straight.
322
00:29:49,334 --> 00:29:53,100
You want me to go to the captain and tell
him I've licked the case with a glass eye?
323
00:29:53,171 --> 00:29:55,105
People aging a lifetime overnight?
324
00:29:55,173 --> 00:29:59,974
No. You see, the door key that was found
on the old man fit Cubby's apartment.
325
00:30:00,045 --> 00:30:02,411
Now what you have to do
is you have to see...
326
00:30:02,481 --> 00:30:04,608
if Cubby ever had
his fingerprints taken.
327
00:30:04,683 --> 00:30:07,311
Then you take those fingerprints,
you go down to the lab,
328
00:30:07,385 --> 00:30:10,616
and you lift the prints off the old man
down there and compare the two of them.
329
00:30:10,689 --> 00:30:12,623
And if you do, that's our proof!
330
00:30:12,691 --> 00:30:14,625
That's all the proof that I need-
you need-we need.
331
00:30:14,693 --> 00:30:19,130
I can just see the print boys' faces
when I tell them why I want the work.
332
00:30:20,365 --> 00:30:23,766
Hey, what key the old man had?
How'd you get this?
333
00:30:23,835 --> 00:30:25,962
Did you take personal belongings
out of the morgue?
334
00:30:26,037 --> 00:30:29,768
Would I do a thing like that?
You robbed our Cook County Morgue?
335
00:30:29,841 --> 00:30:32,537
Well, Sergeant, you know,
it isn't a shrine.
336
00:30:32,611 --> 00:30:34,806
- It's just a morgue.
- Get out.
337
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,780
- There was an-
- I said, get out.
338
00:30:36,848 --> 00:30:39,009
But I thought we were gonna
work in concert together.
339
00:30:39,084 --> 00:30:42,884
Concert. When I start waving my baton,
it'll be over your head.
340
00:30:44,055 --> 00:30:48,549
- Well, if that's the way you feel about it.
- Here. And take this with you.
341
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,070
How about it?
Have you seen Cynthia Tibbs?
342
00:31:04,142 --> 00:31:07,475
Nothing. Like I told you police before,
that's her lifestyle.
343
00:31:07,546 --> 00:31:09,639
You know,
in and out, come and go.
344
00:31:09,714 --> 00:31:11,705
She's probably here in the
building, in another apartment.
345
00:31:11,783 --> 00:31:13,717
For two whole days?
346
00:31:13,785 --> 00:31:15,719
I guess you haven't been
single for a few years.
347
00:31:15,787 --> 00:31:17,778
I was never that single.
348
00:31:23,361 --> 00:31:25,352
What's that, some kind of clue?
349
00:31:25,430 --> 00:31:28,593
"This is to certify Cynthia Tibbs has been
selected by the Max Match Corporation. "
350
00:31:28,667 --> 00:31:34,230
Looks like she was some kind of a member
of, uh, some kind of a society...
351
00:31:34,306 --> 00:31:36,934
at the Max Match Corporation.
352
00:31:52,857 --> 00:31:54,848
Uh, miss?
353
00:31:56,962 --> 00:31:59,556
Would you fill these out, please?
Sure.
354
00:31:59,631 --> 00:32:02,464
Uh, miss, could I have-
355
00:32:03,668 --> 00:32:06,694
What's all this medical background?
Scars and operations?
356
00:32:06,771 --> 00:32:09,205
They really get personal. That's
the idea. It makes it exclusive.
357
00:32:09,274 --> 00:32:13,335
- I like it that way.
- Under partner preference, I'm gonna put down...
358
00:32:13,411 --> 00:32:16,039
vegetarian, Sagittarius,
on the cusp.
359
00:32:16,114 --> 00:32:18,048
- What do you think?
- I'll take any chick...
360
00:32:18,116 --> 00:32:20,607
who's on a macrobiotic diet,
who's into Tantric yoga.
361
00:32:20,685 --> 00:32:24,712
What ever happened to the girl just
like the girl that married dear old Dad?
362
00:32:26,658 --> 00:32:29,627
It's a song.
363
00:32:30,962 --> 00:32:33,396
Miss-
Would you follow me, please?
364
00:32:38,637 --> 00:32:40,730
Right this way.
365
00:32:40,805 --> 00:32:42,796
Are you being helped?
366
00:32:42,874 --> 00:32:44,967
No, and, uh, I'm being ignored.
367
00:32:45,043 --> 00:32:47,204
I'd like to know why.
What can I do for you?
368
00:32:47,279 --> 00:32:50,112
I would think the first thing I do is
fill out one of those application forms.
369
00:32:50,181 --> 00:32:52,115
I'm sorry, but-
370
00:32:52,183 --> 00:32:54,174
Linda, I'll see the gentleman.
371
00:32:58,857 --> 00:33:01,519
Wowee! Looks like a boudoir.
372
00:33:01,593 --> 00:33:03,720
I'm sorry.
I think there's been a misunderstanding.
373
00:33:03,795 --> 00:33:06,696
You see, we only accept
people under 30. Uh-huh.
374
00:33:06,765 --> 00:33:08,995
Is that for your general membership,
or is that restricted...
375
00:33:09,067 --> 00:33:11,865
to the special group
that you call the Olympians?
376
00:33:15,807 --> 00:33:18,275
Now, why would an attractive man
like you be here?
377
00:33:18,343 --> 00:33:21,278
- I wanna be an Olympian.
- You don't need us.
378
00:33:21,346 --> 00:33:24,645
You're very male. You have the
confidence to dress as you like,
379
00:33:24,716 --> 00:33:28,208
and, I suspect,
do as you like with everything, Mr. -
380
00:33:28,286 --> 00:33:30,220
Kolak. Yeah.
Kolak.
381
00:33:30,288 --> 00:33:32,222
Boy, this is really some office.
382
00:33:32,290 --> 00:33:34,588
You should see the joint
that I have to work in.
383
00:33:34,659 --> 00:33:36,923
What do you do, Mr. Kolak?
I'm a writer.
384
00:33:36,995 --> 00:33:40,294
You know, I've never seen painted
furniture like that before in an office.
385
00:33:40,365 --> 00:33:42,356
It's just terrific.
You got more of it back there?
386
00:33:42,434 --> 00:33:44,459
Uh, our computer's back there.
Oh.
387
00:33:44,536 --> 00:33:47,471
It's not very aesthetic.
Yeah. Yeah.
388
00:33:47,539 --> 00:33:51,600
You use a camera in your writing?
No. No, it's just a hobby of mine. No.
389
00:33:51,676 --> 00:33:53,940
That's all. And half the time,
the darn thing doesn't even work.
390
00:33:54,012 --> 00:33:55,946
Whoops! There she goes again.
See, it's just-
391
00:33:56,014 --> 00:33:58,812
What kind of writing do you do?
Short stories or novels?
392
00:33:58,883 --> 00:34:01,374
Uh, yeah, both. Yeah.
393
00:34:01,453 --> 00:34:04,013
I'm an avid reader.
Any titles I might recognize?
394
00:34:04,089 --> 00:34:06,455
No. No, I don't think so.
395
00:34:06,524 --> 00:34:08,458
I don't have much of a readership
here in the States.
396
00:34:08,526 --> 00:34:11,791
My publisher thinks my stories are much
too bizarre. Like the one I wrote...
397
00:34:11,863 --> 00:34:14,423
about young people who were
being turned into crones in a minute.
398
00:34:14,499 --> 00:34:17,730
- Just like that, they're dead.
- It's unusual, at any rate.
399
00:34:17,802 --> 00:34:20,703
You've got an unusual job here.
How'd you get this kind of a job?
400
00:34:20,772 --> 00:34:23,605
- It was a fluke.
- I love flukes!
401
00:34:23,675 --> 00:34:25,609
I've written some of my best stories
about flukes.
402
00:34:25,677 --> 00:34:28,646
I hate to be rude, but I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to ask you to go.
403
00:34:28,713 --> 00:34:31,079
For some reason, around this
time of day, I get very tired.
404
00:34:31,149 --> 00:34:33,379
Yeah, but-
Nice talking to you, Mr. Kolak.
405
00:34:33,451 --> 00:34:35,385
Yeah, yeah, but you haven't told me
about the Olympians.
406
00:34:35,453 --> 00:34:37,387
Maybe next ti-
407
00:34:45,363 --> 00:34:48,799
After my enlightening conversation
with the beautiful Helen Surtees,
408
00:34:48,867 --> 00:34:52,132
I ran a check through tax records
and business licenses.
409
00:34:52,203 --> 00:34:55,639
The Max Match dating service
was almost brand-spanking new.
410
00:34:55,707 --> 00:34:58,767
No one knew where it came from
or what other branches it had.
411
00:34:58,843 --> 00:35:01,175
It seemed to me
that such mysterious origins...
412
00:35:01,246 --> 00:35:05,580
warranted what we in the press call
"the midnight interview. '"
413
00:35:57,035 --> 00:36:01,028
Hecate-
414
00:38:06,631 --> 00:38:10,089
Rene Michele, first-grade teacher,
was anticipating an exciting evening...
415
00:38:10,168 --> 00:38:12,432
arranged for her
by the Max Match Corporation.
416
00:38:12,503 --> 00:38:16,872
But her kids had worn her out that day,
making her feel older than her 23 years.
417
00:38:16,941 --> 00:38:20,069
Rene had opted for a nap
before getting dressed.
418
00:38:21,512 --> 00:38:23,446
Rene never heard her alarm.
419
00:38:23,514 --> 00:38:25,505
She never awoke from her nap.
420
00:38:26,818 --> 00:38:30,413
The next day, Rene's class
would have a substitute teacher.
421
00:38:52,710 --> 00:38:57,841
I don't get it. Your hunch was right about
it being Greek, but it's ancient Greek-
422
00:38:57,915 --> 00:39:00,679
a prayer for a sacrifice to Hecate,
the goddess of youth.
423
00:39:00,752 --> 00:39:03,619
What kind of a sacrifice?
What kind of sacrifice?
424
00:39:03,688 --> 00:39:06,316
All that mattered was that
they be physically perfect.
425
00:39:06,391 --> 00:39:09,383
Oh. So this Hecate
had pretty high standards, right?
426
00:39:09,460 --> 00:39:11,553
All the Greek gods
were easily offended.
427
00:39:11,629 --> 00:39:14,962
Everything had to be
absolutely perfect, just right.
428
00:39:15,033 --> 00:39:19,766
As if it came out of a computer, right? I
think this is the sacrificer right here. Here.
429
00:39:19,837 --> 00:39:22,601
The most beautiful woman in the world.
430
00:39:22,674 --> 00:39:26,371
The face that launched a thousand ships,
Helen ofTroy.
431
00:39:26,444 --> 00:39:30,813
That's Helen Surtees. She runs the Mix Match
- Max Match computer company.
432
00:39:30,882 --> 00:39:33,009
What are you talking about?
Yeah.
433
00:39:33,084 --> 00:39:35,882
She resembles every statue
of Helen I've ever seen.
434
00:39:35,953 --> 00:39:38,478
I'd give everything
to get next to that.
435
00:39:38,556 --> 00:39:40,649
I think that's the deal- everything.
436
00:39:40,725 --> 00:39:44,286
You know,
every time I talk about the classics,
437
00:39:44,362 --> 00:39:47,297
I wish I was back in college
teaching again.
438
00:39:47,365 --> 00:39:49,856
But there were all those
beautiful girl students.
439
00:39:49,934 --> 00:39:52,630
I could never keep
my head on straight.
440
00:39:52,704 --> 00:39:56,140
Well, anyway,
Helen was half mortal.
441
00:39:56,207 --> 00:39:58,835
She was a demigoddess,
and she'd made a deal with Hecate.
442
00:39:58,910 --> 00:40:01,401
The Randolph, please.
443
00:40:01,479 --> 00:40:03,470
No, I'm sorry, Jack.
This cab's taken.
444
00:40:03,548 --> 00:40:06,779
No hurry. I got a hangover
that could kill a buffalo.
445
00:40:06,851 --> 00:40:09,684
Conventions are murder.
Yeah, I can tell, yeah.
446
00:40:09,754 --> 00:40:13,121
Helen's deal with Hecate
was for eternal youth, right?
447
00:40:13,191 --> 00:40:16,752
That's the story.
Hey, you got her number?
448
00:40:16,828 --> 00:40:19,422
I wound up with
a real bowwow last night.
449
00:40:19,497 --> 00:40:21,727
You are referring to my sister!
450
00:40:21,799 --> 00:40:24,529
Oh, I can see she's a lovely lady.
451
00:40:24,602 --> 00:40:27,002
Suppose something went wrong with
the sacrifices. What happened?
452
00:40:27,071 --> 00:40:29,631
The wrath of the gods.
453
00:40:29,707 --> 00:40:33,370
A shepherd once put up a sick lamb
for a sacrifice to Diana. Yeah?
454
00:40:33,444 --> 00:40:35,503
She turned him to stone.
Stone?
455
00:40:35,580 --> 00:40:38,447
That's right. Stoned? Who's
getting stoned? Who's this Diana?
456
00:40:38,516 --> 00:40:42,145
Listen, can't you let me in
on any of this action, huh?
457
00:40:44,822 --> 00:40:48,383
Kaz, were the sacrifices to Hecate
prepared in any special way?
458
00:40:48,459 --> 00:40:51,257
No. Nothing elaborate.
459
00:40:51,329 --> 00:40:55,265
They were always marked with some kind of
medallion or ornamentation of some kind.
460
00:40:55,333 --> 00:40:58,131
Ornamentation? You
mean like a ring? Sure.
461
00:40:58,202 --> 00:41:03,162
Look, when I said I'm in no hurry, I
didn't mean we should spend the day here.
462
00:41:03,241 --> 00:41:05,334
Hey, why don't you
take another cab?
463
00:41:06,778 --> 00:41:10,270
Who do you think
you're talking to, cabbie?
464
00:41:10,348 --> 00:41:13,283
I am the president
of my own feed company.
465
00:41:13,351 --> 00:41:15,683
I flew here first class.
466
00:41:15,753 --> 00:41:20,247
I'm staying at the Randolph,
the biggest hotel in the world.
467
00:41:20,324 --> 00:41:22,258
Twenty-four hundred rooms.
468
00:41:22,326 --> 00:41:26,353
Hey, sport, you are not staying
at the biggest hotel in the world.
469
00:41:26,430 --> 00:41:30,264
The Hotel Rossiya in Moscow
has 3,200 rooms,
470
00:41:30,334 --> 00:41:32,734
and your hotel's nothing.
471
00:41:35,139 --> 00:41:38,802
Who counts Communists?
472
00:41:38,876 --> 00:41:42,573
All right. Come on, Kaz. Let's
get this thing off, huh? Yeah.
473
00:41:42,647 --> 00:41:46,674
Mayonnaise?
It's an old Greek remedy.
474
00:41:46,751 --> 00:41:49,083
Nothing greasier under the sun.
Mayonnaise?
475
00:41:49,153 --> 00:41:51,917
Yeah. I had a kid
get his head stuck out...
476
00:41:51,989 --> 00:41:54,583
in that iron-rail fence of mine
out front there.
477
00:41:54,659 --> 00:41:57,526
Stuck a little mayonnaise on his cheeks,
and he popped right out of there.
478
00:41:57,595 --> 00:42:01,497
Yeah. Will somebody answer the
telephone, please? Ron, are you so busy?
479
00:42:04,502 --> 00:42:08,438
It's for you. It's for you.
Huh? Excuse me, Kaz.
480
00:42:08,506 --> 00:42:11,475
Hello?
481
00:42:11,542 --> 00:42:13,703
Hello, Mr. Kolchak.
482
00:42:13,778 --> 00:42:16,474
Bella Sarkof.
And how are you tonight?
483
00:42:16,547 --> 00:42:19,141
- I'm very busy.
- And I'm not?
484
00:42:19,217 --> 00:42:21,708
I've been working like a beaver
to find you a girl.
485
00:42:21,786 --> 00:42:24,687
Her name is Natalie Kravarik,
486
00:42:24,755 --> 00:42:27,986
a dental assistant,
38 years young.
487
00:42:28,059 --> 00:42:33,292
Bella- Bella, I don't want a girl.
I don't need your services.
488
00:42:33,364 --> 00:42:37,494
- Well, good night, Carl.
- You don't need my services.
489
00:42:37,568 --> 00:42:39,502
Robert Redford you are
all of a sudden?
490
00:42:39,570 --> 00:42:42,403
- Good night, Emily.
- Emily? Who's Emily?
491
00:42:42,473 --> 00:42:45,237
Good night, Mr. Vincenzo.
Don't worry, Bella!
492
00:42:45,309 --> 00:42:47,470
Good night, Miss Emily.
I've got somebody else for you!
493
00:42:47,545 --> 00:42:50,742
He's a police sergeant,
unmarried and young.
494
00:42:50,815 --> 00:42:54,273
Oh, hey, that's a find.
A wonderful mate.
495
00:42:54,352 --> 00:42:57,150
They're eligible for pensions.
Good night, Mr. Vincenzo.
496
00:42:57,221 --> 00:43:00,349
Yeah. Yeah,
his name is Sergeant Orkin.
497
00:43:00,424 --> 00:43:02,449
You can call him
at the 12th Precinct.
498
00:43:02,526 --> 00:43:05,654
He's lonely, new in town,
and he's just right for Natalie.
499
00:43:05,730 --> 00:43:07,789
You're telling me my job already?
500
00:43:07,865 --> 00:43:10,299
If not Natalie,
maybe someone else.
501
00:43:10,368 --> 00:43:14,134
Oh, when I get hold of one like him,
I sink my teeth in,
502
00:43:14,205 --> 00:43:17,504
and I don't let go
until rings are exchanged.
503
00:43:17,575 --> 00:43:19,839
D- Don't talk to me about rings.
504
00:43:19,911 --> 00:43:23,847
Carl!
Not now, Tony. Not now.
505
00:43:23,915 --> 00:43:26,179
I'll talk to you tomorrow morning
about that singles assignment.
506
00:43:26,250 --> 00:43:30,619
I got problems now.
Eh. I don't know what to do with that.
507
00:43:30,688 --> 00:43:32,747
Is there any other way
we can break Helen's spell?
508
00:43:32,823 --> 00:43:35,417
Yeah. There is one way.
509
00:43:35,493 --> 00:43:37,518
Kolchak!
Not now, Tony.
510
00:43:37,595 --> 00:43:41,793
Now, Carl, please!
Please?
511
00:43:44,435 --> 00:43:46,369
Tony?
512
00:43:46,437 --> 00:43:49,304
Tony, are you all right?
Where are you? Over here.
513
00:43:51,108 --> 00:43:54,407
- What are you doing there?
- Help me up, will you?
514
00:43:54,478 --> 00:43:58,574
Tony, you called me in here to show me
how you practice your yoga?
515
00:43:58,649 --> 00:44:04,246
- Carl, help me get up!
- Why don't you start with a beginner's position, something simple?
516
00:44:04,322 --> 00:44:08,952
- This is the beginner's position!
- Oh. Here.
517
00:44:10,795 --> 00:44:13,958
I'm sorry about that, Tony.
Here, try this hand.
518
00:44:15,232 --> 00:44:17,223
What do you got on your hand?
Mayonnaise.
519
00:44:17,301 --> 00:44:19,064
Mayonnaise?
Yeah.
520
00:44:19,136 --> 00:44:22,367
Look at that. They left work with all the
lights on. All right. What's the story?
521
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,466
Carl, did I hear you say you're gonna
discuss the singles feature tomorrow?
522
00:44:25,543 --> 00:44:27,477
Yeah, tomorrow. Yeah.
Tomorrow is Friday.
523
00:44:27,545 --> 00:44:30,981
That's when it's due in New York.
Well, the story is all finished.
524
00:44:31,048 --> 00:44:34,415
It just needs a little polishing in the morning,
and I'll send it right off. Come on, Kaz.
525
00:44:34,485 --> 00:44:36,919
Well, the priests were very powerful.
Uh-huh.
526
00:44:36,988 --> 00:44:40,446
Their enemies had to destroy the
temple in order to make them powerless.
527
00:44:40,524 --> 00:44:43,152
- Destroy the temple.
- Do you mind if I read the copy?
528
00:44:43,227 --> 00:44:47,186
After all, I am the bureau chief.
Yes, absolutely, Tony. Absolutely.
529
00:44:47,264 --> 00:44:49,494
Tomorrow morning, first thing,
I'll spitball a few ideas at you.
530
00:44:49,567 --> 00:44:52,661
Spitballing a few ideas is when you start
a feature, not when you're polishing it.
531
00:44:52,737 --> 00:44:56,264
No, that's the way I work. I spit and polish
at the same time. Thanks, Kaz. I owe you.
532
00:44:56,340 --> 00:45:00,140
Hey, I didn't say that destroying
the temple was gonna work.
533
00:45:00,211 --> 00:45:02,509
Destroy the temple?
Destroy what temple?
534
00:45:02,580 --> 00:45:04,605
Kolchak, come back here!
535
00:45:04,682 --> 00:45:06,707
What temple are you gonna destroy?
536
00:45:06,784 --> 00:45:11,721
Kolchak! What-
What temple is he gonna destroy?
537
00:45:11,789 --> 00:45:14,622
What is he gonna-
Hey, who are you?
538
00:47:23,287 --> 00:47:26,256
That's pretty strenuous exercise
for a man your age, isn't it?
539
00:47:26,323 --> 00:47:29,156
It's pretty strenuous exercise
for a man any age.
540
00:47:29,226 --> 00:47:33,720
You've ruined some very expensive statues.
Museum quality.
541
00:47:33,797 --> 00:47:36,994
And what did it get you?
Well, your temple's ruined.
542
00:47:37,067 --> 00:47:39,831
According to Kaz, Hecate ought
to be destroying you about now.
543
00:47:39,904 --> 00:47:42,805
I don't think you're qualified
to speak for Hecate.
544
00:47:42,873 --> 00:47:44,807
It's you she'll destroy.
545
00:47:44,875 --> 00:47:47,469
You had the stupidity
to put on that ring.
546
00:47:48,712 --> 00:47:53,115
Imagine the feeling when your heart
ages decades in a matter of seconds...
547
00:47:53,184 --> 00:47:55,948
and finally jams up like an old clock.
548
00:47:56,020 --> 00:48:00,582
Well, how can Hecate accept me?
549
00:48:00,658 --> 00:48:03,525
I mean, I'm not a perfect sacrifice.
Far from it.
550
00:48:03,594 --> 00:48:07,121
As I said before, I don't think
you're qualified to speak for the gods.
551
00:48:18,475 --> 00:48:22,377
As a matter of fact, I'm not the
first imperfect offering you've made.
552
00:48:22,446 --> 00:48:25,438
Did you know that William Cubby
wore this? It's a glass eye.
553
00:48:26,617 --> 00:48:29,484
- You're lying.
- No.
554
00:48:29,553 --> 00:48:33,114
No, I'm not lying,
but I think Willy Cubby was.
555
00:48:33,190 --> 00:48:35,351
See, he didn't say anything
to you at all, huh?
556
00:48:35,426 --> 00:48:39,192
Ha-ha!
You made fools of the gods!
557
00:48:51,575 --> 00:48:54,601
Hecate! Hecate!
558
00:49:29,079 --> 00:49:31,479
I took some pictures,
but it seemed pointless.
559
00:49:31,548 --> 00:49:37,145
The destruction of the room would be labeled
vandalism or a faulty sprinkler system.
560
00:49:37,221 --> 00:49:40,918
I don't need any photographs of Helen.
561
00:49:40,991 --> 00:49:44,757
You see, she would always be
as she always was-
562
00:49:44,828 --> 00:49:48,389
cold and beautiful and unchanging.
563
00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:52,401
Uh- Oh, as a postscript,
I offer this bit of advice.
564
00:49:52,469 --> 00:49:56,963
Should you ever find a ring,
no matter how pretty or valuable,
565
00:49:57,041 --> 00:50:00,374
consider well before
you slip it on your finger.
566
00:50:02,279 --> 00:50:04,338
You may never get it off again.
567
00:50:04,388 --> 00:50:08,938
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