Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:14,517
Stand by, studio.
2
00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:28,886
How's that mic? OK?
3
00:00:29,047 --> 00:00:33,518
If you'd just clear the
group corner beyond row 3, OK?
4
00:00:33,687 --> 00:00:37,362
We are recording. Quiet,
studio. And... cue her!
5
00:00:37,527 --> 00:00:38,846
Good evening.
6
00:00:39,007 --> 00:00:43,046
We start with a question for
all women in their mid-40s.
7
00:00:43,207 --> 00:00:45,482
How would you like to look like this?
8
00:00:45,647 --> 00:00:48,445
In your dreams? Not necessarily.
9
00:00:48,607 --> 00:00:52,600
If you drool over this type of
beauty, it's available at a price.
10
00:00:52,767 --> 00:00:58,239
Right. What you see is the result
of ten years of cosmetic enhancement,
11
00:00:58,407 --> 00:01:04,323
to redefine myself physically until
I feel good about myself as a woman.
12
00:01:04,487 --> 00:01:09,641
And if you're a sucker for the gory
details, this is the book to buy.
13
00:01:09,807 --> 00:01:13,925
"Finding My Form" by our
guest tonight, Zola Zbzewski,
14
00:01:14,087 --> 00:01:16,521
chronicles a bloodcurdling history
15
00:01:16,687 --> 00:01:21,238
of face-lifts, tucks, bobs,
dermo-brasions and liposuctions
16
00:01:21,407 --> 00:01:24,683
that transformed this
diffident 35-year-old
17
00:01:24,847 --> 00:01:30,365
into a self-confessed plastic beauty in
control of her life, loves and career.
18
00:01:30,527 --> 00:01:32,802
Zola, what do you say to those of us
19
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:37,040
who can't see anything wrong
with the way you looked before?
20
00:01:37,207 --> 00:01:42,076
For 30 years of my life, I knew
what it was to be invisible.
21
00:01:42,247 --> 00:01:46,684
My first boyfriend, when I was 19,
got me pregnant and walked away,
22
00:01:46,847 --> 00:01:50,396
leaving me emotionally
shattered and with a daughter.
23
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:55,482
It taught me that to achieve any presence
in this world, looks are everything.
24
00:01:55,647 --> 00:02:00,641
So, you saved up to go to a
plastic surgeon, Dr David Churchin
25
00:02:00,807 --> 00:02:04,925
with whom you struck up a
rather bizarre relationship.
26
00:02:05,087 --> 00:02:09,478
You describe him as
a... "a sad obsessive,
27
00:02:09,647 --> 00:02:14,198
"who viewed me much as a sculptor
views the shapeless clay he will use
28
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:18,804
- "to fashion something of exquisite beauty. "
- It was like a fixation.
29
00:02:18,967 --> 00:02:23,836
We'd be having a romantic supper and he'd
offer to drain off fat from my thighs.
30
00:02:24,807 --> 00:02:29,517
Slowly, over the years, he rebuilt
me into the fantasy figure he craved.
31
00:02:29,687 --> 00:02:34,715
Until finally you left him for
a Swedish swimming instructor.
32
00:02:34,887 --> 00:02:37,765
I imagine he felt bitter about that.
33
00:02:37,927 --> 00:02:39,997
Well, you'd have to ask him that.
34
00:02:40,167 --> 00:02:44,365
Well, why don't we? He's kindly
agreed to join us here this evening.
35
00:02:44,527 --> 00:02:47,883
Your surgeon and former lover
- Dr David Churchin!
36
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:52,366
Good evening, Dr Churchin. Welcome.
37
00:02:55,807 --> 00:02:57,559
What is this?
38
00:02:57,727 --> 00:03:02,278
Having ploughed through this
so-called record of our relationship,
39
00:03:02,447 --> 00:03:05,325
I was surprised to find
it called biography.
40
00:03:05,487 --> 00:03:08,001
Fantasy fiction is nearer the mark.
41
00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:10,078
Here come the cheap cracks!
42
00:03:10,247 --> 00:03:12,715
The operations were at her insistence.
43
00:03:12,887 --> 00:03:17,802
She's the one who was obsessed with this
insane programme of total reconstitution.
44
00:03:17,967 --> 00:03:22,245
What was I going to do?
For my sins, I loved her!
45
00:03:22,407 --> 00:03:24,841
You loved the woman you were creating!
46
00:03:25,007 --> 00:03:27,521
I didn't recognise
who you were becoming!
47
00:03:27,687 --> 00:03:32,238
This is a sick mind! My lawyers will
make sure it never reaches the shelves!
48
00:03:32,407 --> 00:03:34,443
My client doesn't need thisl
49
00:03:34,607 --> 00:03:37,758
I'll throw seven kinds
of writ on all of you!
50
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,839
For defamation,
misrepresentation, I'll...
51
00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:45,478
We've been joined by Miss
Zbzewski's manager, Sam Brickman.
52
00:03:45,647 --> 00:03:47,285
I said, CUT!
53
00:03:47,447 --> 00:03:52,965
Get this scalpel-happy quack out
of here or this interview is over!
54
00:03:53,127 --> 00:03:58,804
As I made you, I'll destroy you,
at any cost and that's a promise!
55
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:22,558
- That God-awful
man! - What happened?
56
00:04:22,727 --> 00:04:26,925
- What happened?
- Didn't I say he'd try to ruin me?!
57
00:04:27,087 --> 00:04:30,045
Churchin? Since when
was he in the interview?
58
00:04:30,207 --> 00:04:34,644
The interview was fine. We re-ran
it and your mother was fine.
59
00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:39,437
It'll go out tonight and nobody
will know. Sally? Sam Brickman.
60
00:04:39,607 --> 00:04:42,201
- Is he there?
- I'll be in the pool.
61
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:43,880
No, I'll hold.
62
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:49,395
Look... who is he? He is nobody.
63
00:04:50,927 --> 00:04:53,122
Oh, I know, petal.
64
00:04:53,287 --> 00:04:56,359
He's just a twisted, jealous nobody.
65
00:04:56,527 --> 00:05:02,477
Like one half of the human race, but
we don't let them get to us, remember?
66
00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:13,406
Hi, Adam Klaus's dressing
room, please. Jonathan Creek.
67
00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:14,966
Isn't he?
68
00:05:15,127 --> 00:05:19,359
I just wondered how rehearsals
went with the elephant levitation.
69
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,245
Oh, don't!
70
00:05:22,287 --> 00:05:24,642
You're kidding me? Where is it now?
71
00:05:24,807 --> 00:05:27,526
Now? Under the stage and singingl
72
00:05:27,687 --> 00:05:31,600
It's jammed under the trap
and they can't shift it!
73
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:35,840
They were meant to check the
hydraulics before the dry run!
74
00:05:36,007 --> 00:05:40,080
It's not very dry here at the moment,
75
00:05:40,247 --> 00:05:41,646
by all accounts.
76
00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:47,086
We have a five-ton elephant with irritable
bowel syndrome stuck inside a metal cage
77
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,477
with an audience coming in at 7.00I
78
00:05:49,647 --> 00:05:53,879
It'll take more than a can
of air freshener, believe me!
79
00:05:54,047 --> 00:05:56,436
TIE A KNOT IN ITS TRUNK!
80
00:05:58,447 --> 00:06:01,757
Brilliant How's Adam taking it?
81
00:06:01,927 --> 00:06:06,159
Adam's fine. Walked through here
a second ago laughing his head off.
82
00:06:06,327 --> 00:06:08,079
That'll be drugs.
83
00:06:08,247 --> 00:06:13,879
I'm sure they're working on it. Hopefully,
it'll be sorted by the time I get there.
84
00:06:14,047 --> 00:06:16,880
OK, then, Ted. Bye.
85
00:07:08,087 --> 00:07:12,046
- Has Rudi gone?
- Hmm? Thursday is his Tai Chi.
86
00:07:12,207 --> 00:07:16,962
Sam said he'd drop by later. Go
through the itinerary for next week.
87
00:07:17,127 --> 00:07:19,118
What time does that show go out?
88
00:07:19,287 --> 00:07:21,755
10.35, after the News.
89
00:07:21,927 --> 00:07:26,000
Woe betide them if they use so
much as one second of that...
90
00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:28,564
What is it?
91
00:07:28,727 --> 00:07:32,242
He's out there again. That
weirdo with the video camera.
92
00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:34,967
They've had five reports in a fortnight!
93
00:07:35,127 --> 00:07:39,757
I think I scared him away,
but be careful, please.
94
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,839
Someone could climb up that scaffolding.
95
00:07:43,007 --> 00:07:48,957
Funny, I never thought he'd have the guts
to destroy everything I've worked for.
96
00:07:49,127 --> 00:07:51,118
Things will sort themselves.
97
00:07:51,967 --> 00:07:54,117
They always do.
98
00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:57,483
Have a good time.
99
00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:21,440
Hiya.
100
00:08:21,607 --> 00:08:24,280
How are things on the pachyderm front?
101
00:08:24,447 --> 00:08:26,517
Or shouldn't I ask?
102
00:08:26,687 --> 00:08:29,201
Manage to get her out in one piece?
103
00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:32,996
No trumpeting now, anyway.
Must be a good sign.
104
00:08:34,007 --> 00:08:35,326
What?
105
00:08:35,487 --> 00:08:37,000
What?
106
00:08:41,447 --> 00:08:43,915
Good evening, Mr Creek.
107
00:08:51,127 --> 00:08:52,799
I can't believe it.
108
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,286
Dead!
109
00:08:54,447 --> 00:08:56,324
How can she be dead?
110
00:08:56,487 --> 00:09:00,605
Are you sure it wasn't the
tranquilliser dart? Maybe she's dozing.
111
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,841
I don't think so, Mr Creek.
112
00:09:04,007 --> 00:09:06,282
I think it was a coronary.
113
00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:09,564
She was 57. It could
have happened at any time.
114
00:09:09,727 --> 00:09:13,640
A coronary! We hired an
elephant with a heart condition?
115
00:09:13,807 --> 00:09:16,924
I was in there feeding her iced buns!
116
00:09:17,087 --> 00:09:20,921
I won't lie to you, Mr
Creek, she was overweight.
117
00:09:21,087 --> 00:09:26,161
Know her biggest problem?
She never got enough exercise.
118
00:09:26,327 --> 00:09:28,079
I was always telling her.
119
00:09:28,887 --> 00:09:33,085
But, you know, she loved
the business so much.
120
00:09:33,247 --> 00:09:37,081
I think it's the way
she'd have wanted to go.
121
00:09:37,247 --> 00:09:41,160
Trapped under a stage,
knee deep in elephant dung
122
00:09:41,327 --> 00:09:45,081
Bringing a little magic
into our lives, Mr Creek.
123
00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:50,356
It would have made her very proud.
124
00:10:27,847 --> 00:10:32,204
If you're a sucker for the gory
details, this is the book to buy.
125
00:10:32,367 --> 00:10:36,645
"Finding My Form" by
our guest, Zola Zbzewski,
126
00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:39,116
chronicles a bloodcurdling history
127
00:10:39,287 --> 00:10:43,326
of face-lifts, tucks, bobs,
dermo-brasions and liposuctions
128
00:10:43,487 --> 00:10:45,717
that transformed...
129
00:10:45,887 --> 00:10:49,675
...diffident 35-year-old to
a self-confessed plastic...
130
00:11:23,287 --> 00:11:26,643
Let's say I'm making up
for years of celibacy.
131
00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:33,881
Hello? Barry! How are you do...?
132
00:11:34,047 --> 00:11:36,481
Hang on a sec, let me kill this.
133
00:11:36,647 --> 00:11:38,638
...Leaving me with a daughter.
134
00:11:38,807 --> 00:11:43,483
It taught me that to achieve any presence
in this world, looks are everything.
135
00:11:43,647 --> 00:11:45,842
So you...
136
00:11:46,007 --> 00:11:48,805
So, what did you think?
137
00:11:48,967 --> 00:11:51,401
Obviously we need more material, but...
138
00:11:52,207 --> 00:11:54,880
Oh, great! Great.
139
00:11:55,927 --> 00:12:00,842
Mmm. Tell me about it tomorrow. Are
we still on for lunch at Peschey's?
140
00:12:01,007 --> 00:12:05,683
Brilliant. OK, Baz, see
you there. Love to Jason.
141
00:12:08,567 --> 00:12:10,523
...but beauty?
142
00:12:10,687 --> 00:12:16,876
Then, to enhance my mouth, he sucked
out a little fat from my behind -
143
00:12:17,047 --> 00:12:19,436
believe me, there was plenty -
144
00:12:19,607 --> 00:12:21,916
and implanted it in my upper lip.
145
00:12:22,087 --> 00:12:27,525
My new breasts, he always teased me,
he modelled on the London Planetariuml
146
00:12:39,647 --> 00:12:43,879
Our season continues next
week with "Espresso Bongo".
147
00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:32,561
I don't think any publisher alive,
which I am barely, could say otherwise.
148
00:13:32,727 --> 00:13:38,643
The crimes are colourful, consuming, with
a great crusading curve to the writing.
149
00:13:38,807 --> 00:13:42,004
Plus, I adore this magic
character you've roped in.
150
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:44,681
For consultative purposes only.
151
00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:48,886
I've got this theory that Jonathan
Creek is himself an illusion.
152
00:13:49,047 --> 00:13:52,756
Just when you think you've found
him, he drifts away like smoke.
153
00:13:54,087 --> 00:13:58,558
It's no good, Barry, I've got to have
that wardrobe. I'll be two seconds.
154
00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:14,884
Barry Opper.
155
00:14:15,047 --> 00:14:18,005
Oh, she was. She's just popped to buy...
156
00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:20,044
Give me that again.
157
00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:22,320
Uh-huh.
158
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:26,639
No, I will the minute she
gets back. For sure. Bye.
159
00:14:26,807 --> 00:14:30,516
Three months I've been looking
for that exact wardrobe!
160
00:14:30,687 --> 00:14:34,043
Have you heard of a
woman named Zola Zbzewski?
161
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:39,201
Have I? I nearly threw up watching her
have bits of her bottom sewn into her mouth!
162
00:14:39,367 --> 00:14:41,927
- What about her?
- SOS from her daughter.
163
00:14:42,087 --> 00:14:44,123
She's been arrested for murder.
164
00:14:46,527 --> 00:14:49,758
By some miracle, we've
got bail till next Friday.
165
00:14:49,927 --> 00:14:52,122
The rest of it is like a nightmare.
166
00:14:52,287 --> 00:14:55,882
You're good at this, right?
Finding another side to it?
167
00:14:56,047 --> 00:14:59,323
Why pretend I had no motive to kill him?
168
00:14:59,487 --> 00:15:04,925
If he lived, he'd have sabotaged my book,
wrecked my plans for cosmetic surgery.
169
00:15:05,087 --> 00:15:08,238
More than anyone else
alive, I wanted him gone.
170
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:14,039
Yes. I wouldn't dwell on that aspect in
the witness box. Juries are funny things.
171
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:18,760
You've got a bit of tissue on
your bottom lip... top lip, sorry!
172
00:15:18,927 --> 00:15:22,556
Top lip. I don't know
why I called it that.
173
00:15:22,727 --> 00:15:26,083
Um... we're looking at two
problems here, aren't we?
174
00:15:26,247 --> 00:15:30,445
Churchin was killed at 10.37.
That's when a neighbour heard a shot.
175
00:15:30,607 --> 00:15:32,882
For which time, you have no alibi.
176
00:15:33,047 --> 00:15:35,880
I was here in this house on my own.
177
00:15:36,047 --> 00:15:39,722
I worked through till quite
late, then got ready for bed.
178
00:15:39,887 --> 00:15:45,519
10.30, just after, I remembered that
the interview I'd recorded was going out,
179
00:15:45,687 --> 00:15:50,203
so I watched that, had
a bath and went to sleep.
180
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,803
Mmm. Problem number... two:
181
00:15:53,967 --> 00:15:57,801
The police found one of your
earrings on Churchin's doorstep.
182
00:15:57,967 --> 00:16:02,518
They found someone's earring.
I've never owned one like that.
183
00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:05,406
I've never seen Zola
wearing that earring.
184
00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:09,401
- Bless him, and he'd know.
- I like to lick around them.
185
00:16:11,247 --> 00:16:17,197
What's rather tricky is there were skin
cells containing your DNA on the pin,
186
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:20,404
which suggests it had
been through your ear.
187
00:16:20,567 --> 00:16:23,365
I have no explanation
for that. I'm sorry.
188
00:16:23,527 --> 00:16:27,202
She's innocent, for God's
sake! You believe that?
189
00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:30,518
This is like something
seriously weird is going on!
190
00:16:30,687 --> 00:16:32,200
Unless...
191
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,642
Of course.
192
00:16:34,807 --> 00:16:37,958
I'm supposed to be
meeting someone in town!
193
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:41,836
Leave this with me. I'll
put my thinking cap on.
194
00:16:45,447 --> 00:16:49,235
Tell me there's a way
out of all this, somehow.
195
00:16:49,407 --> 00:16:52,160
It's probably a mad idea, but...
196
00:16:52,327 --> 00:16:53,646
What?
197
00:16:53,807 --> 00:16:58,085
Churchin performed how many operations
on your mother over the years?
198
00:16:58,247 --> 00:17:03,002
He'd have all manner of skin tissue and
cell samples filed away at his clinic.
199
00:17:03,167 --> 00:17:09,356
Just maybe someone who was very clever
could use that to their advantage
200
00:17:09,527 --> 00:17:12,041
to set her up for murder.
201
00:17:14,087 --> 00:17:16,078
I'll be in touch.
202
00:17:44,287 --> 00:17:46,676
...Which is one advantage of...
203
00:17:46,847 --> 00:17:48,166
Hi.
204
00:17:48,327 --> 00:17:52,286
- What are you doing here?
- We're next door with the show.
205
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:55,007
Of course you are! Of course.
206
00:17:56,007 --> 00:17:57,759
How's it going?
207
00:17:57,927 --> 00:18:01,397
Oh, we've had a few hiccups this week.
208
00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:04,035
Right. One or two. I saw the News.
209
00:18:06,047 --> 00:18:07,719
Anyway, I was...
210
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,923
- I'm Shelford.
- Sorry, this...
211
00:18:10,087 --> 00:18:12,601
- Pleased to meet you.
- Jonathan Creek.
212
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:19,161
Madeleine's a little shy because... Shall I
tell him? The two of us are on a blind date.
213
00:18:19,327 --> 00:18:21,204
Get out of here!
214
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:25,042
I placed an advertisement in
one of those contact columns.
215
00:18:25,207 --> 00:18:30,361
Madeleine replied and here we
are, testing the water as t'were,
216
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:33,325
to see if we want to
get into bed together.
217
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:36,081
Not literally, I hasten to add.
218
00:18:36,247 --> 00:18:39,762
That's just a term we use
in corporate management.
219
00:18:39,927 --> 00:18:45,001
Though, speaking for myself, I must say,
one of Cupid's arrows has found its mark!
220
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:53,163
So... anyway... I expect
I'll be seeing you around.
221
00:18:53,327 --> 00:18:56,399
- Unless you fancy a bite to eat?
- Not really. I'd...
222
00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:58,603
Oh, I say, great idea!
223
00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:02,555
I think I'm going to risk the
home-made vegetable lasagne.
224
00:19:02,727 --> 00:19:05,719
Sounds good to me,
Jonathan. I'm on for that!
225
00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:10,483
First of all, I need to pay a
visit to the little boys' room.
226
00:19:21,207 --> 00:19:25,200
You are really enjoying this,
aren't you, watching me squirm?
227
00:19:25,367 --> 00:19:27,597
To a large extent.
228
00:19:29,007 --> 00:19:31,043
- Where is it, then?
- What?
229
00:19:31,207 --> 00:19:36,122
The ten-year-old photo he sent you, before
he ballooned up and started moulting.
230
00:19:36,287 --> 00:19:38,596
You've really got a nerve!
231
00:19:38,767 --> 00:19:42,362
Do you think I'm so shallow
that I'd only meet someone
232
00:19:42,527 --> 00:19:48,477
if I had proof they were young and good
looking?! I find that amazingly offensive!
233
00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:50,638
Can I see it?
234
00:19:54,007 --> 00:19:55,725
Frightening.
235
00:19:55,887 --> 00:20:00,278
This may be unique
- a rare example of the passport syndrome in reverse.
236
00:20:01,407 --> 00:20:03,841
Oh, um... two lasagnes, please.
237
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,996
I don't know what I
want. I'm not even hungry.
238
00:20:10,487 --> 00:20:13,160
Drop of chilli with some rice.
239
00:20:13,327 --> 00:20:16,558
And a spot of salad...
and some garlic bread.
240
00:20:16,727 --> 00:20:18,399
A jacket potato.
241
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,523
Oh, and some crisps.
242
00:20:21,647 --> 00:20:26,084
Anyway, what's the SP on Zola
Zbzewski? Think she did it?
243
00:20:26,247 --> 00:20:31,640
Oh, what is this now? Not mind
reading, I can't cope with it!
244
00:20:32,287 --> 00:20:37,520
The case is in the papers, her book's in
your bag. I wasn't trying to be clever.
245
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:41,481
It's early days, but
it doesn't look good.
246
00:20:41,647 --> 00:20:45,003
Police found an earring
outside the victim's door
247
00:20:45,167 --> 00:20:48,796
on which they found traces
of Zola's skin cell tissue.
248
00:20:48,967 --> 00:20:51,356
She swears it's not one of hers.
249
00:20:51,527 --> 00:20:54,280
Could be doctored it
with genetic material...
250
00:20:54,447 --> 00:20:57,883
Yes, I had managed to
work that out for myself!
251
00:20:59,447 --> 00:21:01,517
Any obvious candidates?
252
00:21:01,687 --> 00:21:03,359
Daughter seems devoted,
253
00:21:03,527 --> 00:21:07,918
boyfriend's like Judas Iscariot
with highlights, on another planet.
254
00:21:08,087 --> 00:21:10,555
Haven't seen her manager, Mr Brickman.
255
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:15,118
He'd like to get Churchin, but he'd
hardly want to frame his own client.
256
00:21:15,287 --> 00:21:18,006
- Tricky.
- Yes, but I'll get there,
257
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:20,317
so don't go worrying yourself!
258
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,206
- It's not my fault, all this.
- What?
259
00:21:23,367 --> 00:21:27,406
This plan to make me jealous by
turning up with some stunning hunk
260
00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:31,958
that has all gone wrong, thanks to
the bastard son of Forrest Gump here.
261
00:21:32,127 --> 00:21:34,277
You must've known it was a risk.
262
00:21:34,447 --> 00:21:38,281
That is the most arrogant,
egotistical thing...
263
00:21:38,447 --> 00:21:43,043
That was unfortunate. I misjudged
the water pressure on those taps.
264
00:21:43,207 --> 00:21:45,084
It went everywhere.
265
00:21:45,247 --> 00:21:48,398
Fortunately, it's not
urine, so it won't stain.
266
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:05,967
I'm just having a new front put on.
267
00:22:06,127 --> 00:22:07,845
Old habits die hard.
268
00:22:08,007 --> 00:22:09,998
Sam and I were just talking.
269
00:22:10,167 --> 00:22:12,317
- Have you had breakfast?
- Not yet.
270
00:22:14,527 --> 00:22:17,121
Intriguing theory. Is it possible?
271
00:22:17,287 --> 00:22:23,203
Somebody could have broken into his
clinic to get this cell tissue of Zola's.
272
00:22:23,367 --> 00:22:26,598
Somehow applied it to
the pin on the earring.
273
00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:29,235
It's a bit lumpy, I'll admit, but...
274
00:22:29,407 --> 00:22:31,398
Who'd go to all that trouble?
275
00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:34,286
Someone who wants you
put away for murder.
276
00:22:34,447 --> 00:22:39,521
One or two of the more militant feminists
have been in touch in the past few weeks.
277
00:22:39,687 --> 00:22:41,757
They weren't very nice people.
278
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:44,487
But why not go straight for Zola?
279
00:22:44,647 --> 00:22:48,481
Why kill Churchin? I
don't see the logic.
280
00:22:49,727 --> 00:22:52,036
I have to be elsewhere.
281
00:22:53,407 --> 00:22:56,285
Keep me posted on any developments, OK?
282
00:22:56,447 --> 00:22:58,915
Don't lose hope. We'll get there.
283
00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:05,007
Is Victoria around this morning?
284
00:23:05,167 --> 00:23:08,045
There's a couple of
things I wanted to ask her.
285
00:23:08,207 --> 00:23:11,165
She's around. I'm not
sure that she's up yet.
286
00:23:11,327 --> 00:23:13,557
Let me just check.
287
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:26,846
Sweetheart?
288
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,603
Nothing shocks you, does it?
289
00:23:36,767 --> 00:23:40,476
My daughter and I have a
policy of share and share alike.
290
00:23:40,647 --> 00:23:43,081
It's no different to lending her my car.
291
00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:48,401
How do you know? There could be a motive
for your Swedish shwim... Swedish shwim...
292
00:23:48,567 --> 00:23:52,082
Couldn't you have picked a
Danish one? It's easier to say.
293
00:23:52,247 --> 00:23:56,160
Rudi's talents extend to
fornication and the back stroke.
294
00:23:56,327 --> 00:23:59,125
It's inconceivable to me that he'd...
295
00:23:59,287 --> 00:24:03,121
- What? What is it?
- That pervert!
296
00:24:03,287 --> 00:24:08,281
He's been round here making home movies
for weeks. The police have never got him!
297
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,836
Careful, there may be prints!
298
00:24:17,687 --> 00:24:21,999
I said he was out there,
before I left for the party.
299
00:24:22,167 --> 00:24:24,158
This is Thursday, look.
300
00:24:24,327 --> 00:24:26,966
The date on your desk
- the 6th.
301
00:24:46,927 --> 00:24:50,715
Well, he certainly got his
money's worth, didn't he?
302
00:24:57,727 --> 00:25:01,117
That's when I realised
the show had started.
303
00:25:01,287 --> 00:25:04,597
Can you believe some sad
specimen goes out taking this?
304
00:25:04,767 --> 00:25:08,043
He wants his whammer shutting in a door!
305
00:25:30,247 --> 00:25:31,839
Actually...
306
00:25:32,887 --> 00:25:34,718
...I'd give him a medal.
307
00:25:37,047 --> 00:25:40,801
Forget the floor show. Look at the TV.
308
00:25:40,967 --> 00:25:43,561
The programmes that
were on each channel.
309
00:25:44,807 --> 00:25:46,957
Don't you see what this is?
310
00:25:47,127 --> 00:25:52,201
This is proof that you were
at home on Thursday night.
311
00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:56,761
Zola... this is your alibi.
312
00:25:59,487 --> 00:26:02,445
We'll be in touch as
soon as we hear anything.
313
00:26:03,447 --> 00:26:06,120
That'll give them
something to think about.
314
00:26:06,287 --> 00:26:11,156
And for when it accidentally gets
raffled off, we've got copies as back-up.
315
00:26:11,327 --> 00:26:13,283
I think that covers it.
316
00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:15,278
Don't go without yours.
317
00:26:18,007 --> 00:26:20,157
Thank you... for everything.
318
00:26:20,327 --> 00:26:22,522
It's all part of the service.
319
00:26:24,447 --> 00:26:28,679
It still doesn't tell us who killed
David and tried to put Mum inside.
320
00:26:30,407 --> 00:26:31,999
No.
321
00:26:33,567 --> 00:26:35,876
But it's a start.
322
00:26:51,647 --> 00:26:53,285
Jonathan Creek.
323
00:26:53,447 --> 00:27:00,444
Oh, sorry! Sorry. I'm looking at the
wrong number here. What am I like?!
324
00:27:00,607 --> 00:27:03,201
I wanted Creative Hairstyling.
325
00:27:03,367 --> 00:27:08,441
You're probably doing something important.
Killing an elephant, or something.
326
00:27:08,607 --> 00:27:12,998
Yes, thank you I'm getting enough
grief from Adam, don't you start!
327
00:27:13,167 --> 00:27:17,524
She was old. It wasn't my fault. What
was I to do? Ask to see her bus pass?
328
00:27:17,687 --> 00:27:20,918
Check whether she puts her
tusks in a glass at night?
329
00:27:21,087 --> 00:27:25,365
How are you doing with the human
Barbie doll? I've had some thoughts.
330
00:27:25,527 --> 00:27:27,677
Want to meet? Toss a few ideas...
331
00:27:27,847 --> 00:27:32,125
You're talking about Zola Zbzewski?
It's all tied up, actually.
332
00:27:32,287 --> 00:27:34,164
With a big ribbon.
333
00:27:34,327 --> 00:27:37,524
Yeah, I've managed to
establish a watertight alibi,
334
00:27:37,687 --> 00:27:41,282
which we're expecting to lead
to a retraction of charges,
335
00:27:41,447 --> 00:27:45,725
but thanks, anyway, I know you
meant well. Got to dash. Bye-ee!
336
00:27:57,887 --> 00:28:01,084
I'm not in. I'm not in!
337
00:28:15,487 --> 00:28:17,876
- Yup?
- Wardrobe for Magellan.
338
00:28:18,047 --> 00:28:20,845
Oh, great! I'll be right down. Thanks.
339
00:28:21,527 --> 00:28:26,760
Hi. I'll just give it the
quick once over before we start.
340
00:28:28,527 --> 00:28:29,926
Yes!
341
00:28:30,087 --> 00:28:32,157
Brilliant, I love it!
342
00:28:32,327 --> 00:28:34,283
Just sign there, please, love.
343
00:28:34,447 --> 00:28:40,238
I'm afraid I live on the top floor and it
won't fit in the lift, which is unfortunate.
344
00:28:42,647 --> 00:28:44,922
Unfortunate is the right word.
345
00:28:45,087 --> 00:28:47,920
Um... can you hang on
for us a sec, darling?
346
00:28:59,607 --> 00:29:04,681
YOU BASTARDS! You complete bastards!
I can't believe you did that!
347
00:29:05,927 --> 00:29:07,645
Morning.
348
00:29:07,807 --> 00:29:09,877
Is this a coincidence?
349
00:29:10,847 --> 00:29:13,998
One of our biggest clients
is round the corner.
350
00:29:14,167 --> 00:29:16,886
Can I be of any help at all?
351
00:29:25,087 --> 00:29:26,486
No problem.
352
00:29:49,607 --> 00:29:51,962
Oh, thank you very much!
353
00:30:03,407 --> 00:30:04,726
Careful.
354
00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:22,440
Right.
355
00:30:23,847 --> 00:30:25,838
In here will be lovely.
356
00:30:30,927 --> 00:30:35,523
Yeah, um... try not to
scratch it if you can help it.
357
00:30:43,167 --> 00:30:44,566
That's it.
358
00:30:49,127 --> 00:30:51,960
Yeah, I think... probably, uh-huh.
359
00:30:52,127 --> 00:30:55,437
Just against this wall for now.
360
00:30:57,807 --> 00:30:59,877
What can I say?
361
00:31:00,047 --> 00:31:02,038
You're a trooper.
362
00:31:04,767 --> 00:31:09,477
I've got... an appointment at 12.00.
363
00:31:10,647 --> 00:31:12,365
Have you?
364
00:31:12,527 --> 00:31:14,677
You'd better look lively, then.
365
00:31:14,847 --> 00:31:16,166
Yes.
366
00:31:17,007 --> 00:31:21,398
So, you'll... give me a ring maybe?
367
00:31:22,567 --> 00:31:23,886
Hmm?
368
00:31:24,287 --> 00:31:26,801
Yes. Definitely.
369
00:31:27,527 --> 00:31:29,518
Thanks ever so much.
370
00:31:33,887 --> 00:31:35,718
Bye, Maddy.
371
00:31:35,887 --> 00:31:37,366
OK, bye.
372
00:32:00,807 --> 00:32:04,880
I don't care if he is
arranging an elephant's funeral,
373
00:32:05,047 --> 00:32:08,756
just find him and tell him to
get his arse round here NOW!
374
00:32:14,407 --> 00:32:17,285
So, let's run through this from the top.
375
00:32:17,447 --> 00:32:19,597
The wardrobe was empty.
376
00:32:19,767 --> 00:32:21,758
You closed the door.
377
00:32:22,767 --> 00:32:27,079
You brought it upstairs,
through this door...
378
00:32:33,287 --> 00:32:35,437
...and along here.
379
00:32:41,807 --> 00:32:43,206
Mmm.
380
00:32:43,367 --> 00:32:45,164
Around here...
381
00:32:49,127 --> 00:32:51,482
...and into this room.
382
00:32:53,007 --> 00:32:55,157
Against that wall.
383
00:32:56,887 --> 00:33:01,836
By which time, somehow or other,
the cupboard has acquired a body,
384
00:33:02,007 --> 00:33:06,956
brutally battered to death
across the back of her head.
385
00:33:08,607 --> 00:33:09,926
Hmm.
386
00:33:12,807 --> 00:33:16,322
- It's a good one, isn't it?
- A good one
387
00:33:16,487 --> 00:33:19,206
Is that all you can say?
388
00:33:19,847 --> 00:33:22,361
Somewhere between here and the ground,
389
00:33:22,527 --> 00:33:26,361
someone has planted a corpse
in there and I didn't even see!
390
00:33:26,527 --> 00:33:29,963
The cops think I'm mental.
It's seriously impossible!
391
00:33:36,007 --> 00:33:37,963
What floor is this?
392
00:33:38,127 --> 00:33:41,005
Fourth, and there are
eight flights of stairs.
393
00:33:43,087 --> 00:33:46,238
Anyone else come near you
at any point on the way?
394
00:33:47,367 --> 00:33:50,325
Mrs Barnstable, the next floor down,
395
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:54,002
brought out some
lemonade, but otherwise...
396
00:33:54,167 --> 00:33:57,159
Mrs Barnstable the
celebrated lemonade doper,
397
00:33:57,327 --> 00:34:01,764
with her trick of switching
cabinets under the victim's nose.
398
00:34:01,927 --> 00:34:03,838
Zola Zbzewski is dead!
399
00:34:04,007 --> 00:34:06,726
First someone tries to
frame her for murder,
400
00:34:06,887 --> 00:34:11,278
and when that fails, they use a blunt
instrument and dump the body here,
401
00:34:11,447 --> 00:34:13,722
presumably to try and rattle me!
402
00:34:13,887 --> 00:34:18,597
If the best you can do is make
glib remarks, you can go home now!
403
00:34:33,767 --> 00:34:35,564
Jonathan?
404
00:34:41,487 --> 00:34:44,285
Nope. All seems pukka.
405
00:34:46,247 --> 00:34:49,842
No panels, no breakaways,
no phantom joints.
406
00:34:50,727 --> 00:34:52,957
Just a wardrobe, really.
407
00:34:54,487 --> 00:34:55,806
So...
408
00:34:57,167 --> 00:34:59,727
- Want to know how it was done?
- Yes!
409
00:35:00,687 --> 00:35:02,678
That makes two of us.
410
00:35:16,167 --> 00:35:18,442
NO! NO!
411
00:35:18,607 --> 00:35:21,519
NO, SHE CAN'T BE!
412
00:35:47,927 --> 00:35:49,519
Ah.
413
00:35:55,887 --> 00:36:00,403
Yea... I don't know, sorry.
414
00:36:53,127 --> 00:36:56,517
So you think it happened
on the third floor landing.
415
00:36:56,687 --> 00:37:01,442
They pushed Zola in through the back of
the cupboard while it was by the window.
416
00:37:01,607 --> 00:37:03,245
Mmm-hmm.
417
00:37:03,407 --> 00:37:08,959
40 feet above ground, someone's shinned up
a sheer wall with a body over their shoulder?
418
00:37:09,127 --> 00:37:12,915
- So, what? It's impossible?
- It can't be, because you saw it.
419
00:37:13,087 --> 00:37:17,080
I can see you, you're still
impossible! What's that?
420
00:37:17,247 --> 00:37:22,241
It's two things. Firstly, it's the head
off one of Mrs Barnstable's geraniums
421
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:25,240
which I found lying on
the ground out the back.
422
00:37:25,407 --> 00:37:30,322
And, more importantly,
it's a point on the graph.
423
00:37:31,967 --> 00:37:33,958
Another one...
424
00:37:35,127 --> 00:37:37,118
Oh, I dunno.
425
00:37:38,087 --> 00:37:39,566
What?
426
00:37:39,727 --> 00:37:46,724
That overflow pipe below the kitchen window
has very recently been scratched and bent.
427
00:37:46,887 --> 00:37:51,403
A few more co-ordinates, we'll start
to join them and see where this is...
428
00:37:52,887 --> 00:37:54,320
...leading.
429
00:37:55,807 --> 00:37:58,446
I get nervous. I have to eat.
430
00:37:58,607 --> 00:38:03,203
It's a good combo. Have you never put
them together as ice cream flavours?
431
00:38:03,367 --> 00:38:06,677
Did anything else out of
the ordinary happen today?
432
00:38:06,847 --> 00:38:10,317
Any strange sounds,
visitors, phone calls?
433
00:38:10,487 --> 00:38:14,639
Suspicious people with rope
ladders and large sacks?
434
00:38:15,687 --> 00:38:19,885
Phone! There was a message, or
rather, there wasn't, on my machine.
435
00:38:20,047 --> 00:38:24,040
But no one spoke. I suppose
someone got a wrong number.
436
00:38:24,207 --> 00:38:27,916
- Have you had any incoming calls since?
- No, not incoming.
437
00:38:28,767 --> 00:38:31,565
The caller's number
should still be logged.
438
00:38:31,727 --> 00:38:33,797
If we dial 1471...
439
00:38:35,727 --> 00:38:37,718
No number recorded.
440
00:38:39,127 --> 00:38:43,723
- Could be blocked. More likely a mobile.
- Is this remotely relevant?
441
00:38:45,647 --> 00:38:47,638
Probably not.
442
00:38:48,847 --> 00:38:51,202
Madeleine Magellan.
443
00:38:51,367 --> 00:38:52,766
Yes.
444
00:38:53,647 --> 00:38:55,080
What?
445
00:38:55,887 --> 00:38:58,640
A- A-And they're
absolutely sure that...?
446
00:39:00,167 --> 00:39:01,998
Right. No.
447
00:39:02,167 --> 00:39:03,885
Thanks, Jim.
448
00:39:04,047 --> 00:39:06,197
I appreciate it.
449
00:39:07,407 --> 00:39:13,164
Police. They found iron piping outside
Zola's house with her blood on it.
450
00:39:13,327 --> 00:39:18,117
They've also matched the pipe to some
iron filings found in her head wound.
451
00:39:18,287 --> 00:39:22,075
So, either someone went back
there to dump the murder weapon...
452
00:39:22,247 --> 00:39:28,880
Or she was killed at home and then
brought five miles across town here
453
00:39:29,047 --> 00:39:31,038
to my flat!
454
00:40:16,647 --> 00:40:18,205
Jonathan!
455
00:40:18,847 --> 00:40:20,166
Hmm?
456
00:40:20,327 --> 00:40:24,002
It's called respect for the
dead. How many more times?
457
00:40:24,167 --> 00:40:27,603
Do you know, this could be
another point on our graph.
458
00:40:27,767 --> 00:40:29,678
What's that?
459
00:40:30,327 --> 00:40:33,956
Do you know the difference
between a tracking shot and a pan?
460
00:40:34,127 --> 00:40:35,606
Beg pardon?
461
00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:40,204
That fence in her garden that this
was filmed over, how high was it?
462
00:40:40,367 --> 00:40:42,483
Around six foot.
463
00:40:43,607 --> 00:40:46,201
That tells us how tall our snooper was.
464
00:40:46,367 --> 00:40:48,881
Over six feet, I
suppose he'd have to be,
465
00:40:49,047 --> 00:40:53,279
to get these pictures and then
drop the camera over the side.
466
00:40:53,447 --> 00:40:56,007
What's this to do with
a body in a wardrobe?
467
00:40:56,167 --> 00:40:59,557
You think he was over six feet, do you?
468
00:40:59,727 --> 00:41:01,683
Interesting.
469
00:41:01,847 --> 00:41:04,202
What's that supposed to mean?
470
00:41:07,287 --> 00:41:10,404
Sometimes it's useful to
look beyond the obvious.
471
00:41:10,567 --> 00:41:13,240
What rubbish are you talking now?
472
00:41:15,927 --> 00:41:17,246
Rubbish?
473
00:41:18,407 --> 00:41:20,557
Rubbish. You could have a point.
474
00:41:21,567 --> 00:41:26,118
- Where are you off to?
- To investigate the clue of the geranium.
475
00:41:57,527 --> 00:41:58,846
Morning.
476
00:41:59,007 --> 00:42:00,759
It's the bad penny!
477
00:42:01,847 --> 00:42:04,407
Actually, it's my day off, so... um...
478
00:42:04,567 --> 00:42:06,797
I don't know how you're fixed.
479
00:42:06,967 --> 00:42:09,435
Oh, I bought you some underwear.
480
00:42:11,087 --> 00:42:13,362
Oh, Shelford.
481
00:42:13,527 --> 00:42:16,724
I think you'd better come in for a sec.
482
00:42:23,087 --> 00:42:26,204
Look, it's not that I
don't find you attractive...
483
00:42:26,367 --> 00:42:28,358
- Oh, good.
- No, that's not true.
484
00:42:28,527 --> 00:42:31,087
It is that I don't find you attractive.
485
00:42:31,247 --> 00:42:36,446
It's no reflection on you as a person.
You're very warm and kind and... generous.
486
00:42:36,607 --> 00:42:41,556
But I don't want to spend another
second of my life in your company.
487
00:42:41,727 --> 00:42:43,843
Do you understand?
488
00:42:44,007 --> 00:42:47,158
It could never work, not
even as science fiction.
489
00:42:47,327 --> 00:42:51,923
You and me are a total no-no.
490
00:42:53,687 --> 00:42:55,882
Still, it's early days, isn't it?
491
00:42:56,047 --> 00:42:59,881
And from little acorns,
mighty oaks do grow.
492
00:43:01,887 --> 00:43:05,846
And the other thing is, I'm
already sleeping with Jonathan.
493
00:43:06,807 --> 00:43:08,957
Where have you been?!
494
00:43:09,127 --> 00:43:13,962
Love rocket, come here
and give me your tongue!
495
00:43:25,927 --> 00:43:28,760
I'll... um... see myself out.
496
00:43:45,087 --> 00:43:49,797
What in hell do you smell of?!
497
00:43:53,407 --> 00:43:55,398
Two-week-old
halibut,
498
00:43:55,567 --> 00:43:57,125
rotting chop suey.
499
00:43:58,407 --> 00:44:00,125
I had to do that.
500
00:44:01,567 --> 00:44:04,684
It was the only way
to get through to him.
501
00:44:04,847 --> 00:44:06,838
Well, it seemed to work.
502
00:44:15,167 --> 00:44:17,522
Oh, God... I need a bath.
503
00:44:17,687 --> 00:44:20,679
What were you rummaging
around down there for?
504
00:44:45,327 --> 00:44:48,444
At least we now know who
murdered David Churchin.
505
00:44:48,607 --> 00:44:52,077
And it goes a long way to
explaining the miracle on the stairs.
506
00:45:11,647 --> 00:45:15,083
Is there anything at all I can...?
507
00:45:25,447 --> 00:45:26,846
SAM!
508
00:45:52,887 --> 00:45:54,957
I... hope you don't mind.
509
00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:58,756
My friend, Jonathan, has been
helping me with this story.
510
00:45:58,927 --> 00:46:01,999
It's down to him that
we've got to the truth.
511
00:46:02,167 --> 00:46:03,998
You mean, you know?
512
00:46:04,167 --> 00:46:07,842
Victoria, I don't think we
should be talking to reporters.
513
00:46:08,007 --> 00:46:14,321
I brought her in to help Mum, which she did,
so we can listen to what she has to say, OK?
514
00:46:14,487 --> 00:46:16,318
What are they?
515
00:46:17,967 --> 00:46:22,245
Two videos, which between
them tell the whole story.
516
00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:28,037
Before that, Mr Brickman, what is
the number on your mobile phone?
517
00:46:28,207 --> 00:46:30,641
What's that got to do with anything?
518
00:46:30,807 --> 00:46:32,798
It's a simple enough question.
519
00:46:35,727 --> 00:46:39,037
0850078674.
520
00:46:39,207 --> 00:46:41,243
- Interesting.
- What is this?
521
00:46:41,407 --> 00:46:44,717
Why did you ring my flat
without leaving a message?
522
00:46:44,887 --> 00:46:47,720
I never did! Why would I ring your flat?
523
00:46:47,887 --> 00:46:54,042
So, how come when we called 1471,
it was your number we wrote down?
524
00:46:54,207 --> 00:46:58,086
You rang me at 11.45, the same
moment the wardrobe arrived,
525
00:46:58,247 --> 00:47:01,762
because you wanted to make
sure there was no one at home.
526
00:47:03,207 --> 00:47:04,526
You...
527
00:47:05,887 --> 00:47:08,003
...killed my mother.
528
00:47:08,167 --> 00:47:11,557
- YOU KILLED HER!
- I LOVED HER!
529
00:47:11,727 --> 00:47:14,195
I LOVED HER!
530
00:47:16,447 --> 00:47:18,165
I loved her.
531
00:47:21,047 --> 00:47:24,278
Like every other man who ever met her!
532
00:47:24,447 --> 00:47:26,403
God save us all!
533
00:47:28,967 --> 00:47:34,041
You loved her, and that's why you
filmed her, isn't it, Mr Brickman?
534
00:47:34,927 --> 00:47:36,804
On this tape.
535
00:47:39,727 --> 00:47:41,445
May I?
536
00:47:55,327 --> 00:47:57,477
This isn't real!
537
00:47:57,647 --> 00:48:00,605
We talked about the
fence being six feet high.
538
00:48:00,767 --> 00:48:04,123
You saw a tall man looking over the top.
539
00:48:04,287 --> 00:48:08,246
I saw a short man standing on a box.
540
00:48:08,407 --> 00:48:11,285
It's all to do with the
movement of the camera.
541
00:48:12,007 --> 00:48:16,683
A tall man on the ground would
have walked along the fence
542
00:48:16,847 --> 00:48:19,441
to follow her from room to room.
543
00:48:19,607 --> 00:48:25,477
A man standing on a box swivels
the camera to keep her in frame.
544
00:48:25,647 --> 00:48:29,686
A subtle distinction fairly
meaningless in itself.
545
00:48:32,047 --> 00:48:34,277
Until we come to this.
546
00:48:44,767 --> 00:48:48,442
#... Summer holiday,
no more worries for... #
547
00:48:56,647 --> 00:49:00,356
It taught me that to achieve
any presence in this world...
548
00:49:00,527 --> 00:49:03,360
That's the same thing we just saw
549
00:49:03,527 --> 00:49:05,597
on the TV Zola was watching.
550
00:49:05,767 --> 00:49:08,520
Not hard, was it, to whack it together.
551
00:49:08,687 --> 00:49:13,442
"Porridge" and "Summer Holiday" are
available at the local video shop,
552
00:49:13,607 --> 00:49:17,441
and the "Newsnight" titles you
just taped the following night.
553
00:49:17,607 --> 00:49:21,964
Of course, Zola's interview
you'd recorded off air, anyway.
554
00:49:22,127 --> 00:49:27,155
In other words, everything
we just saw was a fake.
555
00:49:28,287 --> 00:49:33,486
She knew you were filming her because
that's exactly what you'd arranged.
556
00:49:33,647 --> 00:49:39,324
When she pointed the remote at the set,
she wasn't watching live television at all.
557
00:49:39,487 --> 00:49:42,638
She was switching on the
video to play this tape.
558
00:49:42,807 --> 00:49:45,924
- No!
- When you filmed her it wasn't Thursday.
559
00:49:46,087 --> 00:49:49,079
It was Friday. She wasn't
here on Thursday night.
560
00:49:49,247 --> 00:49:53,445
- It's lies!
- That's when she went to murder Churchin!
561
00:49:53,607 --> 00:49:55,245
NO!
562
00:50:01,767 --> 00:50:08,445
She rang me soon afterwards, when
she realised about the earring.
563
00:50:08,607 --> 00:50:11,280
She had no alibi.
564
00:50:12,327 --> 00:50:14,397
She started to panic.
565
00:50:15,647 --> 00:50:18,525
I had the idea of the Peeping Tom.
566
00:50:19,727 --> 00:50:24,403
If we could make it look as if someone
had caught her on camera that night...
567
00:50:25,407 --> 00:50:27,477
...it might see her in the clear.
568
00:50:27,647 --> 00:50:30,764
So I was brought here
as an impartial witness
569
00:50:30,927 --> 00:50:35,478
to be present when the tape was
"accidentally" found in the garden.
570
00:50:35,647 --> 00:50:38,844
And, for a few hours,
that put the lid on it.
571
00:50:39,007 --> 00:50:41,965
Till we realised you'd
got the wrong tape.
572
00:50:42,127 --> 00:50:47,724
Yes. I think to leave your specially
edited tape lying around was careless.
573
00:50:47,887 --> 00:50:51,675
So Victoria could give it to
me by mistake to take home.
574
00:50:56,207 --> 00:50:58,675
We knew you'd realise when you saw it.
575
00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:01,122
So we had to get it back fast.
576
00:51:02,207 --> 00:51:05,882
Next morning, I picked her
up. We drove to your place.
577
00:51:06,047 --> 00:51:09,676
We rang to make sure
there was no one there.
578
00:51:10,727 --> 00:51:13,480
Yes, we got the machine.
579
00:51:13,647 --> 00:51:16,161
So we assumed it was safe.
580
00:51:16,567 --> 00:51:20,242
Zola went round the back
to look for a way in.
581
00:51:20,407 --> 00:51:23,479
She told me to sit tight
in the car and wait.
582
00:52:21,927 --> 00:52:23,918
That was it.
583
00:52:24,567 --> 00:52:27,320
God knows how long I sat there.
584
00:52:28,767 --> 00:52:30,758
Then I heard sirens.
585
00:52:30,927 --> 00:52:35,443
So I knew something was
wrong, but I didn't know what.
586
00:52:35,607 --> 00:52:37,199
In the end...
587
00:52:40,127 --> 00:52:43,199
...I panicked and drove away.
588
00:52:43,847 --> 00:52:48,284
But I think we can make an
educated guess at what happened.
589
00:52:50,287 --> 00:52:53,643
Once inside, it doesn't take
Zola long to find the VHS,
590
00:52:53,807 --> 00:52:57,083
which she switches for the
one you were meant to have.
591
00:53:00,287 --> 00:53:04,644
But then, just as she's about
to leave, it all goes wrong.
592
00:53:07,647 --> 00:53:12,357
Instinctively, she hides in the spare
bedroom and gets rid of the evidence.
593
00:53:12,527 --> 00:53:17,555
On its way to the dustbin, it decapitates
a geranium from the floor below.
594
00:53:17,727 --> 00:53:21,959
She probably thinks she's in the
room you're least likely to go into.
595
00:53:22,127 --> 00:53:25,915
But by a cruel twist of fate,
it's the one you do go into.
596
00:53:26,087 --> 00:53:30,717
She gets behind the door. What will
she do? She's cornered and frightened.
597
00:53:30,887 --> 00:53:33,321
But something else is happening, too.
598
00:53:33,487 --> 00:53:38,356
When they found her body with
the dent in the back of her head,
599
00:53:38,527 --> 00:53:42,725
it was natural to assume
she was bludgeoned to death.
600
00:53:43,367 --> 00:53:46,404
None of us considered
the real explanation.
601
00:53:46,567 --> 00:53:49,445
When I first arrived to pick her up...
602
00:53:49,607 --> 00:53:51,996
she was coming out of the house.
603
00:54:10,967 --> 00:54:12,764
Oi!
604
00:54:12,927 --> 00:54:14,918
It knocked her for six.
605
00:54:15,087 --> 00:54:20,639
I sat her down, asked her if she
wanted a doctor, an ambulance.
606
00:54:20,807 --> 00:54:26,359
But after ten minutes, she
just seemed to snap out of it.
607
00:54:26,527 --> 00:54:28,438
Said she was fine.
608
00:54:28,607 --> 00:54:32,646
We weren't to lose any
time getting this tape back.
609
00:54:33,527 --> 00:54:38,317
Of course, she wasn't fine. The
concussion was already fatal.
610
00:54:38,487 --> 00:54:44,801
A burst blood vessel in the brain which
didn't kick in until she was in the flat.
611
00:54:44,967 --> 00:54:48,880
She was feeling groggy. She
was about to be found out.
612
00:54:49,047 --> 00:54:51,481
What were her options?
613
00:54:51,647 --> 00:54:56,357
There was an outside chance that
wardrobe would not be immediately opened.
614
00:54:56,527 --> 00:55:00,361
She could lie low and slip out
later when no one was about.
615
00:55:03,447 --> 00:55:05,961
That's it. Well done.
616
00:55:06,127 --> 00:55:10,564
Seconds after she's inside,
she suffers a fatal haemorrhage.
617
00:55:10,727 --> 00:55:13,685
So, when Maddy opened the doors...
618
00:55:16,087 --> 00:55:18,157
...she found a dead body.
619
00:55:25,527 --> 00:55:29,964
I suppose some people
might call that justice...
620
00:55:32,527 --> 00:55:33,926
...but I...
621
00:55:37,767 --> 00:55:39,359
Hang on a minute.
622
00:55:41,687 --> 00:55:47,683
That 1471 number doesn't store mobiles!
623
00:55:47,847 --> 00:55:52,762
- You couldn't have got my number that way.
- I didn't.
624
00:55:52,927 --> 00:55:56,124
I wrote it down when she read it out.
625
00:55:56,287 --> 00:56:00,075
Little bit of graphite
under the thumbnail.
626
00:56:00,247 --> 00:56:02,920
It's as old as the hills.
627
00:56:03,087 --> 00:56:05,043
Sorry about that.
628
00:56:20,127 --> 00:56:21,845
You OK?
629
00:56:22,007 --> 00:56:27,161
I shouldn't have gone. I'm not good
at funerals at the best of times.
630
00:56:27,327 --> 00:56:29,318
It was so upsetting.
631
00:56:29,487 --> 00:56:35,801
My God, I couldn't believe it when they
dropped the coffin outside the church.
632
00:56:35,967 --> 00:56:39,596
- I know.
- When it broke open and her trunk fell out!
633
00:56:39,767 --> 00:56:42,520
It's just... so undignified!
634
00:56:42,687 --> 00:56:46,521
I thought they'd never
get that crane repaired!
635
00:56:46,687 --> 00:56:49,440
You know Adam. Never
does things by halves.
636
00:56:49,607 --> 00:56:54,078
We could have done without the ten
elephants trumpeting the Last Post.
637
00:56:54,247 --> 00:56:56,920
I know. It sounded
more like a traffic jam!
638
00:57:08,487 --> 00:57:11,684
I'm not a violent lady, Miss Magellan,
639
00:57:11,847 --> 00:57:16,762
but I'm also not so pig ignorant not to
see how you're trying to steal my husband!
640
00:57:16,927 --> 00:57:19,646
Now I'm giving you fair warning.
641
00:57:19,807 --> 00:57:23,516
Keep your claws off him and
your nose out of our marriage,
642
00:57:23,687 --> 00:57:27,157
or next time, you
won't have a nose left.
643
00:57:35,487 --> 00:57:41,039
You know, it's funny, but the
humour of this completely escapes me.
644
00:57:41,887 --> 00:57:46,597
Actually, I had noticed a pale line round
his finger as if he normally wore a...
645
00:57:46,767 --> 00:57:48,280
wedding ring.
646
00:57:49,727 --> 00:57:52,446
I'll go stick my head
down a toilet, shall I?
647
00:57:52,607 --> 00:57:54,837
Make sure you flush it.
648
00:57:54,887 --> 00:57:59,437
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
53438
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.