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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:14,517 Stand by, studio. 2 00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:28,886 How's that mic? OK? 3 00:00:29,047 --> 00:00:33,518 If you'd just clear the group corner beyond row 3, OK? 4 00:00:33,687 --> 00:00:37,362 We are recording. Quiet, studio. And... cue her! 5 00:00:37,527 --> 00:00:38,846 Good evening. 6 00:00:39,007 --> 00:00:43,046 We start with a question for all women in their mid-40s. 7 00:00:43,207 --> 00:00:45,482 How would you like to look like this? 8 00:00:45,647 --> 00:00:48,445 In your dreams? Not necessarily. 9 00:00:48,607 --> 00:00:52,600 If you drool over this type of beauty, it's available at a price. 10 00:00:52,767 --> 00:00:58,239 Right. What you see is the result of ten years of cosmetic enhancement, 11 00:00:58,407 --> 00:01:04,323 to redefine myself physically until I feel good about myself as a woman. 12 00:01:04,487 --> 00:01:09,641 And if you're a sucker for the gory details, this is the book to buy. 13 00:01:09,807 --> 00:01:13,925 "Finding My Form" by our guest tonight, Zola Zbzewski, 14 00:01:14,087 --> 00:01:16,521 chronicles a bloodcurdling history 15 00:01:16,687 --> 00:01:21,238 of face-lifts, tucks, bobs, dermo-brasions and liposuctions 16 00:01:21,407 --> 00:01:24,683 that transformed this diffident 35-year-old 17 00:01:24,847 --> 00:01:30,365 into a self-confessed plastic beauty in control of her life, loves and career. 18 00:01:30,527 --> 00:01:32,802 Zola, what do you say to those of us 19 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:37,040 who can't see anything wrong with the way you looked before? 20 00:01:37,207 --> 00:01:42,076 For 30 years of my life, I knew what it was to be invisible. 21 00:01:42,247 --> 00:01:46,684 My first boyfriend, when I was 19, got me pregnant and walked away, 22 00:01:46,847 --> 00:01:50,396 leaving me emotionally shattered and with a daughter. 23 00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:55,482 It taught me that to achieve any presence in this world, looks are everything. 24 00:01:55,647 --> 00:02:00,641 So, you saved up to go to a plastic surgeon, Dr David Churchin 25 00:02:00,807 --> 00:02:04,925 with whom you struck up a rather bizarre relationship. 26 00:02:05,087 --> 00:02:09,478 You describe him as a... "a sad obsessive, 27 00:02:09,647 --> 00:02:14,198 "who viewed me much as a sculptor views the shapeless clay he will use 28 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:18,804 - "to fashion something of exquisite beauty. " - It was like a fixation. 29 00:02:18,967 --> 00:02:23,836 We'd be having a romantic supper and he'd offer to drain off fat from my thighs. 30 00:02:24,807 --> 00:02:29,517 Slowly, over the years, he rebuilt me into the fantasy figure he craved. 31 00:02:29,687 --> 00:02:34,715 Until finally you left him for a Swedish swimming instructor. 32 00:02:34,887 --> 00:02:37,765 I imagine he felt bitter about that. 33 00:02:37,927 --> 00:02:39,997 Well, you'd have to ask him that. 34 00:02:40,167 --> 00:02:44,365 Well, why don't we? He's kindly agreed to join us here this evening. 35 00:02:44,527 --> 00:02:47,883 Your surgeon and former lover - Dr David Churchin! 36 00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:52,366 Good evening, Dr Churchin. Welcome. 37 00:02:55,807 --> 00:02:57,559 What is this? 38 00:02:57,727 --> 00:03:02,278 Having ploughed through this so-called record of our relationship, 39 00:03:02,447 --> 00:03:05,325 I was surprised to find it called biography. 40 00:03:05,487 --> 00:03:08,001 Fantasy fiction is nearer the mark. 41 00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:10,078 Here come the cheap cracks! 42 00:03:10,247 --> 00:03:12,715 The operations were at her insistence. 43 00:03:12,887 --> 00:03:17,802 She's the one who was obsessed with this insane programme of total reconstitution. 44 00:03:17,967 --> 00:03:22,245 What was I going to do? For my sins, I loved her! 45 00:03:22,407 --> 00:03:24,841 You loved the woman you were creating! 46 00:03:25,007 --> 00:03:27,521 I didn't recognise who you were becoming! 47 00:03:27,687 --> 00:03:32,238 This is a sick mind! My lawyers will make sure it never reaches the shelves! 48 00:03:32,407 --> 00:03:34,443 My client doesn't need thisl 49 00:03:34,607 --> 00:03:37,758 I'll throw seven kinds of writ on all of you! 50 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,839 For defamation, misrepresentation, I'll... 51 00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:45,478 We've been joined by Miss Zbzewski's manager, Sam Brickman. 52 00:03:45,647 --> 00:03:47,285 I said, CUT! 53 00:03:47,447 --> 00:03:52,965 Get this scalpel-happy quack out of here or this interview is over! 54 00:03:53,127 --> 00:03:58,804 As I made you, I'll destroy you, at any cost and that's a promise! 55 00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:22,558 - That God-awful man! - What happened? 56 00:04:22,727 --> 00:04:26,925 - What happened? - Didn't I say he'd try to ruin me?! 57 00:04:27,087 --> 00:04:30,045 Churchin? Since when was he in the interview? 58 00:04:30,207 --> 00:04:34,644 The interview was fine. We re-ran it and your mother was fine. 59 00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:39,437 It'll go out tonight and nobody will know. Sally? Sam Brickman. 60 00:04:39,607 --> 00:04:42,201 - Is he there? - I'll be in the pool. 61 00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:43,880 No, I'll hold. 62 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:49,395 Look... who is he? He is nobody. 63 00:04:50,927 --> 00:04:53,122 Oh, I know, petal. 64 00:04:53,287 --> 00:04:56,359 He's just a twisted, jealous nobody. 65 00:04:56,527 --> 00:05:02,477 Like one half of the human race, but we don't let them get to us, remember? 66 00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:13,406 Hi, Adam Klaus's dressing room, please. Jonathan Creek. 67 00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:14,966 Isn't he? 68 00:05:15,127 --> 00:05:19,359 I just wondered how rehearsals went with the elephant levitation. 69 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,245 Oh, don't! 70 00:05:22,287 --> 00:05:24,642 You're kidding me? Where is it now? 71 00:05:24,807 --> 00:05:27,526 Now? Under the stage and singingl 72 00:05:27,687 --> 00:05:31,600 It's jammed under the trap and they can't shift it! 73 00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:35,840 They were meant to check the hydraulics before the dry run! 74 00:05:36,007 --> 00:05:40,080 It's not very dry here at the moment, 75 00:05:40,247 --> 00:05:41,646 by all accounts. 76 00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:47,086 We have a five-ton elephant with irritable bowel syndrome stuck inside a metal cage 77 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,477 with an audience coming in at 7.00I 78 00:05:49,647 --> 00:05:53,879 It'll take more than a can of air freshener, believe me! 79 00:05:54,047 --> 00:05:56,436 TIE A KNOT IN ITS TRUNK! 80 00:05:58,447 --> 00:06:01,757 Brilliant How's Adam taking it? 81 00:06:01,927 --> 00:06:06,159 Adam's fine. Walked through here a second ago laughing his head off. 82 00:06:06,327 --> 00:06:08,079 That'll be drugs. 83 00:06:08,247 --> 00:06:13,879 I'm sure they're working on it. Hopefully, it'll be sorted by the time I get there. 84 00:06:14,047 --> 00:06:16,880 OK, then, Ted. Bye. 85 00:07:08,087 --> 00:07:12,046 - Has Rudi gone? - Hmm? Thursday is his Tai Chi. 86 00:07:12,207 --> 00:07:16,962 Sam said he'd drop by later. Go through the itinerary for next week. 87 00:07:17,127 --> 00:07:19,118 What time does that show go out? 88 00:07:19,287 --> 00:07:21,755 10.35, after the News. 89 00:07:21,927 --> 00:07:26,000 Woe betide them if they use so much as one second of that... 90 00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:28,564 What is it? 91 00:07:28,727 --> 00:07:32,242 He's out there again. That weirdo with the video camera. 92 00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:34,967 They've had five reports in a fortnight! 93 00:07:35,127 --> 00:07:39,757 I think I scared him away, but be careful, please. 94 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,839 Someone could climb up that scaffolding. 95 00:07:43,007 --> 00:07:48,957 Funny, I never thought he'd have the guts to destroy everything I've worked for. 96 00:07:49,127 --> 00:07:51,118 Things will sort themselves. 97 00:07:51,967 --> 00:07:54,117 They always do. 98 00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:57,483 Have a good time. 99 00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:21,440 Hiya. 100 00:08:21,607 --> 00:08:24,280 How are things on the pachyderm front? 101 00:08:24,447 --> 00:08:26,517 Or shouldn't I ask? 102 00:08:26,687 --> 00:08:29,201 Manage to get her out in one piece? 103 00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:32,996 No trumpeting now, anyway. Must be a good sign. 104 00:08:34,007 --> 00:08:35,326 What? 105 00:08:35,487 --> 00:08:37,000 What? 106 00:08:41,447 --> 00:08:43,915 Good evening, Mr Creek. 107 00:08:51,127 --> 00:08:52,799 I can't believe it. 108 00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,286 Dead! 109 00:08:54,447 --> 00:08:56,324 How can she be dead? 110 00:08:56,487 --> 00:09:00,605 Are you sure it wasn't the tranquilliser dart? Maybe she's dozing. 111 00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,841 I don't think so, Mr Creek. 112 00:09:04,007 --> 00:09:06,282 I think it was a coronary. 113 00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:09,564 She was 57. It could have happened at any time. 114 00:09:09,727 --> 00:09:13,640 A coronary! We hired an elephant with a heart condition? 115 00:09:13,807 --> 00:09:16,924 I was in there feeding her iced buns! 116 00:09:17,087 --> 00:09:20,921 I won't lie to you, Mr Creek, she was overweight. 117 00:09:21,087 --> 00:09:26,161 Know her biggest problem? She never got enough exercise. 118 00:09:26,327 --> 00:09:28,079 I was always telling her. 119 00:09:28,887 --> 00:09:33,085 But, you know, she loved the business so much. 120 00:09:33,247 --> 00:09:37,081 I think it's the way she'd have wanted to go. 121 00:09:37,247 --> 00:09:41,160 Trapped under a stage, knee deep in elephant dung 122 00:09:41,327 --> 00:09:45,081 Bringing a little magic into our lives, Mr Creek. 123 00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:50,356 It would have made her very proud. 124 00:10:27,847 --> 00:10:32,204 If you're a sucker for the gory details, this is the book to buy. 125 00:10:32,367 --> 00:10:36,645 "Finding My Form" by our guest, Zola Zbzewski, 126 00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:39,116 chronicles a bloodcurdling history 127 00:10:39,287 --> 00:10:43,326 of face-lifts, tucks, bobs, dermo-brasions and liposuctions 128 00:10:43,487 --> 00:10:45,717 that transformed... 129 00:10:45,887 --> 00:10:49,675 ...diffident 35-year-old to a self-confessed plastic... 130 00:11:23,287 --> 00:11:26,643 Let's say I'm making up for years of celibacy. 131 00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:33,881 Hello? Barry! How are you do...? 132 00:11:34,047 --> 00:11:36,481 Hang on a sec, let me kill this. 133 00:11:36,647 --> 00:11:38,638 ...Leaving me with a daughter. 134 00:11:38,807 --> 00:11:43,483 It taught me that to achieve any presence in this world, looks are everything. 135 00:11:43,647 --> 00:11:45,842 So you... 136 00:11:46,007 --> 00:11:48,805 So, what did you think? 137 00:11:48,967 --> 00:11:51,401 Obviously we need more material, but... 138 00:11:52,207 --> 00:11:54,880 Oh, great! Great. 139 00:11:55,927 --> 00:12:00,842 Mmm. Tell me about it tomorrow. Are we still on for lunch at Peschey's? 140 00:12:01,007 --> 00:12:05,683 Brilliant. OK, Baz, see you there. Love to Jason. 141 00:12:08,567 --> 00:12:10,523 ...but beauty? 142 00:12:10,687 --> 00:12:16,876 Then, to enhance my mouth, he sucked out a little fat from my behind - 143 00:12:17,047 --> 00:12:19,436 believe me, there was plenty - 144 00:12:19,607 --> 00:12:21,916 and implanted it in my upper lip. 145 00:12:22,087 --> 00:12:27,525 My new breasts, he always teased me, he modelled on the London Planetariuml 146 00:12:39,647 --> 00:12:43,879 Our season continues next week with "Espresso Bongo". 147 00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:32,561 I don't think any publisher alive, which I am barely, could say otherwise. 148 00:13:32,727 --> 00:13:38,643 The crimes are colourful, consuming, with a great crusading curve to the writing. 149 00:13:38,807 --> 00:13:42,004 Plus, I adore this magic character you've roped in. 150 00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:44,681 For consultative purposes only. 151 00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:48,886 I've got this theory that Jonathan Creek is himself an illusion. 152 00:13:49,047 --> 00:13:52,756 Just when you think you've found him, he drifts away like smoke. 153 00:13:54,087 --> 00:13:58,558 It's no good, Barry, I've got to have that wardrobe. I'll be two seconds. 154 00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:14,884 Barry Opper. 155 00:14:15,047 --> 00:14:18,005 Oh, she was. She's just popped to buy... 156 00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:20,044 Give me that again. 157 00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:22,320 Uh-huh. 158 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:26,639 No, I will the minute she gets back. For sure. Bye. 159 00:14:26,807 --> 00:14:30,516 Three months I've been looking for that exact wardrobe! 160 00:14:30,687 --> 00:14:34,043 Have you heard of a woman named Zola Zbzewski? 161 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:39,201 Have I? I nearly threw up watching her have bits of her bottom sewn into her mouth! 162 00:14:39,367 --> 00:14:41,927 - What about her? - SOS from her daughter. 163 00:14:42,087 --> 00:14:44,123 She's been arrested for murder. 164 00:14:46,527 --> 00:14:49,758 By some miracle, we've got bail till next Friday. 165 00:14:49,927 --> 00:14:52,122 The rest of it is like a nightmare. 166 00:14:52,287 --> 00:14:55,882 You're good at this, right? Finding another side to it? 167 00:14:56,047 --> 00:14:59,323 Why pretend I had no motive to kill him? 168 00:14:59,487 --> 00:15:04,925 If he lived, he'd have sabotaged my book, wrecked my plans for cosmetic surgery. 169 00:15:05,087 --> 00:15:08,238 More than anyone else alive, I wanted him gone. 170 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:14,039 Yes. I wouldn't dwell on that aspect in the witness box. Juries are funny things. 171 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:18,760 You've got a bit of tissue on your bottom lip... top lip, sorry! 172 00:15:18,927 --> 00:15:22,556 Top lip. I don't know why I called it that. 173 00:15:22,727 --> 00:15:26,083 Um... we're looking at two problems here, aren't we? 174 00:15:26,247 --> 00:15:30,445 Churchin was killed at 10.37. That's when a neighbour heard a shot. 175 00:15:30,607 --> 00:15:32,882 For which time, you have no alibi. 176 00:15:33,047 --> 00:15:35,880 I was here in this house on my own. 177 00:15:36,047 --> 00:15:39,722 I worked through till quite late, then got ready for bed. 178 00:15:39,887 --> 00:15:45,519 10.30, just after, I remembered that the interview I'd recorded was going out, 179 00:15:45,687 --> 00:15:50,203 so I watched that, had a bath and went to sleep. 180 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,803 Mmm. Problem number... two: 181 00:15:53,967 --> 00:15:57,801 The police found one of your earrings on Churchin's doorstep. 182 00:15:57,967 --> 00:16:02,518 They found someone's earring. I've never owned one like that. 183 00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:05,406 I've never seen Zola wearing that earring. 184 00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:09,401 - Bless him, and he'd know. - I like to lick around them. 185 00:16:11,247 --> 00:16:17,197 What's rather tricky is there were skin cells containing your DNA on the pin, 186 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:20,404 which suggests it had been through your ear. 187 00:16:20,567 --> 00:16:23,365 I have no explanation for that. I'm sorry. 188 00:16:23,527 --> 00:16:27,202 She's innocent, for God's sake! You believe that? 189 00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:30,518 This is like something seriously weird is going on! 190 00:16:30,687 --> 00:16:32,200 Unless... 191 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,642 Of course. 192 00:16:34,807 --> 00:16:37,958 I'm supposed to be meeting someone in town! 193 00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:41,836 Leave this with me. I'll put my thinking cap on. 194 00:16:45,447 --> 00:16:49,235 Tell me there's a way out of all this, somehow. 195 00:16:49,407 --> 00:16:52,160 It's probably a mad idea, but... 196 00:16:52,327 --> 00:16:53,646 What? 197 00:16:53,807 --> 00:16:58,085 Churchin performed how many operations on your mother over the years? 198 00:16:58,247 --> 00:17:03,002 He'd have all manner of skin tissue and cell samples filed away at his clinic. 199 00:17:03,167 --> 00:17:09,356 Just maybe someone who was very clever could use that to their advantage 200 00:17:09,527 --> 00:17:12,041 to set her up for murder. 201 00:17:14,087 --> 00:17:16,078 I'll be in touch. 202 00:17:44,287 --> 00:17:46,676 ...Which is one advantage of... 203 00:17:46,847 --> 00:17:48,166 Hi. 204 00:17:48,327 --> 00:17:52,286 - What are you doing here? - We're next door with the show. 205 00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:55,007 Of course you are! Of course. 206 00:17:56,007 --> 00:17:57,759 How's it going? 207 00:17:57,927 --> 00:18:01,397 Oh, we've had a few hiccups this week. 208 00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:04,035 Right. One or two. I saw the News. 209 00:18:06,047 --> 00:18:07,719 Anyway, I was... 210 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,923 - I'm Shelford. - Sorry, this... 211 00:18:10,087 --> 00:18:12,601 - Pleased to meet you. - Jonathan Creek. 212 00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:19,161 Madeleine's a little shy because... Shall I tell him? The two of us are on a blind date. 213 00:18:19,327 --> 00:18:21,204 Get out of here! 214 00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:25,042 I placed an advertisement in one of those contact columns. 215 00:18:25,207 --> 00:18:30,361 Madeleine replied and here we are, testing the water as t'were, 216 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:33,325 to see if we want to get into bed together. 217 00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:36,081 Not literally, I hasten to add. 218 00:18:36,247 --> 00:18:39,762 That's just a term we use in corporate management. 219 00:18:39,927 --> 00:18:45,001 Though, speaking for myself, I must say, one of Cupid's arrows has found its mark! 220 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:53,163 So... anyway... I expect I'll be seeing you around. 221 00:18:53,327 --> 00:18:56,399 - Unless you fancy a bite to eat? - Not really. I'd... 222 00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:58,603 Oh, I say, great idea! 223 00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:02,555 I think I'm going to risk the home-made vegetable lasagne. 224 00:19:02,727 --> 00:19:05,719 Sounds good to me, Jonathan. I'm on for that! 225 00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:10,483 First of all, I need to pay a visit to the little boys' room. 226 00:19:21,207 --> 00:19:25,200 You are really enjoying this, aren't you, watching me squirm? 227 00:19:25,367 --> 00:19:27,597 To a large extent. 228 00:19:29,007 --> 00:19:31,043 - Where is it, then? - What? 229 00:19:31,207 --> 00:19:36,122 The ten-year-old photo he sent you, before he ballooned up and started moulting. 230 00:19:36,287 --> 00:19:38,596 You've really got a nerve! 231 00:19:38,767 --> 00:19:42,362 Do you think I'm so shallow that I'd only meet someone 232 00:19:42,527 --> 00:19:48,477 if I had proof they were young and good looking?! I find that amazingly offensive! 233 00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:50,638 Can I see it? 234 00:19:54,007 --> 00:19:55,725 Frightening. 235 00:19:55,887 --> 00:20:00,278 This may be unique - a rare example of the passport syndrome in reverse. 236 00:20:01,407 --> 00:20:03,841 Oh, um... two lasagnes, please. 237 00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,996 I don't know what I want. I'm not even hungry. 238 00:20:10,487 --> 00:20:13,160 Drop of chilli with some rice. 239 00:20:13,327 --> 00:20:16,558 And a spot of salad... and some garlic bread. 240 00:20:16,727 --> 00:20:18,399 A jacket potato. 241 00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,523 Oh, and some crisps. 242 00:20:21,647 --> 00:20:26,084 Anyway, what's the SP on Zola Zbzewski? Think she did it? 243 00:20:26,247 --> 00:20:31,640 Oh, what is this now? Not mind reading, I can't cope with it! 244 00:20:32,287 --> 00:20:37,520 The case is in the papers, her book's in your bag. I wasn't trying to be clever. 245 00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:41,481 It's early days, but it doesn't look good. 246 00:20:41,647 --> 00:20:45,003 Police found an earring outside the victim's door 247 00:20:45,167 --> 00:20:48,796 on which they found traces of Zola's skin cell tissue. 248 00:20:48,967 --> 00:20:51,356 She swears it's not one of hers. 249 00:20:51,527 --> 00:20:54,280 Could be doctored it with genetic material... 250 00:20:54,447 --> 00:20:57,883 Yes, I had managed to work that out for myself! 251 00:20:59,447 --> 00:21:01,517 Any obvious candidates? 252 00:21:01,687 --> 00:21:03,359 Daughter seems devoted, 253 00:21:03,527 --> 00:21:07,918 boyfriend's like Judas Iscariot with highlights, on another planet. 254 00:21:08,087 --> 00:21:10,555 Haven't seen her manager, Mr Brickman. 255 00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:15,118 He'd like to get Churchin, but he'd hardly want to frame his own client. 256 00:21:15,287 --> 00:21:18,006 - Tricky. - Yes, but I'll get there, 257 00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:20,317 so don't go worrying yourself! 258 00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,206 - It's not my fault, all this. - What? 259 00:21:23,367 --> 00:21:27,406 This plan to make me jealous by turning up with some stunning hunk 260 00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:31,958 that has all gone wrong, thanks to the bastard son of Forrest Gump here. 261 00:21:32,127 --> 00:21:34,277 You must've known it was a risk. 262 00:21:34,447 --> 00:21:38,281 That is the most arrogant, egotistical thing... 263 00:21:38,447 --> 00:21:43,043 That was unfortunate. I misjudged the water pressure on those taps. 264 00:21:43,207 --> 00:21:45,084 It went everywhere. 265 00:21:45,247 --> 00:21:48,398 Fortunately, it's not urine, so it won't stain. 266 00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:05,967 I'm just having a new front put on. 267 00:22:06,127 --> 00:22:07,845 Old habits die hard. 268 00:22:08,007 --> 00:22:09,998 Sam and I were just talking. 269 00:22:10,167 --> 00:22:12,317 - Have you had breakfast? - Not yet. 270 00:22:14,527 --> 00:22:17,121 Intriguing theory. Is it possible? 271 00:22:17,287 --> 00:22:23,203 Somebody could have broken into his clinic to get this cell tissue of Zola's. 272 00:22:23,367 --> 00:22:26,598 Somehow applied it to the pin on the earring. 273 00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:29,235 It's a bit lumpy, I'll admit, but... 274 00:22:29,407 --> 00:22:31,398 Who'd go to all that trouble? 275 00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:34,286 Someone who wants you put away for murder. 276 00:22:34,447 --> 00:22:39,521 One or two of the more militant feminists have been in touch in the past few weeks. 277 00:22:39,687 --> 00:22:41,757 They weren't very nice people. 278 00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:44,487 But why not go straight for Zola? 279 00:22:44,647 --> 00:22:48,481 Why kill Churchin? I don't see the logic. 280 00:22:49,727 --> 00:22:52,036 I have to be elsewhere. 281 00:22:53,407 --> 00:22:56,285 Keep me posted on any developments, OK? 282 00:22:56,447 --> 00:22:58,915 Don't lose hope. We'll get there. 283 00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:05,007 Is Victoria around this morning? 284 00:23:05,167 --> 00:23:08,045 There's a couple of things I wanted to ask her. 285 00:23:08,207 --> 00:23:11,165 She's around. I'm not sure that she's up yet. 286 00:23:11,327 --> 00:23:13,557 Let me just check. 287 00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:26,846 Sweetheart? 288 00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,603 Nothing shocks you, does it? 289 00:23:36,767 --> 00:23:40,476 My daughter and I have a policy of share and share alike. 290 00:23:40,647 --> 00:23:43,081 It's no different to lending her my car. 291 00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:48,401 How do you know? There could be a motive for your Swedish shwim... Swedish shwim... 292 00:23:48,567 --> 00:23:52,082 Couldn't you have picked a Danish one? It's easier to say. 293 00:23:52,247 --> 00:23:56,160 Rudi's talents extend to fornication and the back stroke. 294 00:23:56,327 --> 00:23:59,125 It's inconceivable to me that he'd... 295 00:23:59,287 --> 00:24:03,121 - What? What is it? - That pervert! 296 00:24:03,287 --> 00:24:08,281 He's been round here making home movies for weeks. The police have never got him! 297 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,836 Careful, there may be prints! 298 00:24:17,687 --> 00:24:21,999 I said he was out there, before I left for the party. 299 00:24:22,167 --> 00:24:24,158 This is Thursday, look. 300 00:24:24,327 --> 00:24:26,966 The date on your desk - the 6th. 301 00:24:46,927 --> 00:24:50,715 Well, he certainly got his money's worth, didn't he? 302 00:24:57,727 --> 00:25:01,117 That's when I realised the show had started. 303 00:25:01,287 --> 00:25:04,597 Can you believe some sad specimen goes out taking this? 304 00:25:04,767 --> 00:25:08,043 He wants his whammer shutting in a door! 305 00:25:30,247 --> 00:25:31,839 Actually... 306 00:25:32,887 --> 00:25:34,718 ...I'd give him a medal. 307 00:25:37,047 --> 00:25:40,801 Forget the floor show. Look at the TV. 308 00:25:40,967 --> 00:25:43,561 The programmes that were on each channel. 309 00:25:44,807 --> 00:25:46,957 Don't you see what this is? 310 00:25:47,127 --> 00:25:52,201 This is proof that you were at home on Thursday night. 311 00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:56,761 Zola... this is your alibi. 312 00:25:59,487 --> 00:26:02,445 We'll be in touch as soon as we hear anything. 313 00:26:03,447 --> 00:26:06,120 That'll give them something to think about. 314 00:26:06,287 --> 00:26:11,156 And for when it accidentally gets raffled off, we've got copies as back-up. 315 00:26:11,327 --> 00:26:13,283 I think that covers it. 316 00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:15,278 Don't go without yours. 317 00:26:18,007 --> 00:26:20,157 Thank you... for everything. 318 00:26:20,327 --> 00:26:22,522 It's all part of the service. 319 00:26:24,447 --> 00:26:28,679 It still doesn't tell us who killed David and tried to put Mum inside. 320 00:26:30,407 --> 00:26:31,999 No. 321 00:26:33,567 --> 00:26:35,876 But it's a start. 322 00:26:51,647 --> 00:26:53,285 Jonathan Creek. 323 00:26:53,447 --> 00:27:00,444 Oh, sorry! Sorry. I'm looking at the wrong number here. What am I like?! 324 00:27:00,607 --> 00:27:03,201 I wanted Creative Hairstyling. 325 00:27:03,367 --> 00:27:08,441 You're probably doing something important. Killing an elephant, or something. 326 00:27:08,607 --> 00:27:12,998 Yes, thank you I'm getting enough grief from Adam, don't you start! 327 00:27:13,167 --> 00:27:17,524 She was old. It wasn't my fault. What was I to do? Ask to see her bus pass? 328 00:27:17,687 --> 00:27:20,918 Check whether she puts her tusks in a glass at night? 329 00:27:21,087 --> 00:27:25,365 How are you doing with the human Barbie doll? I've had some thoughts. 330 00:27:25,527 --> 00:27:27,677 Want to meet? Toss a few ideas... 331 00:27:27,847 --> 00:27:32,125 You're talking about Zola Zbzewski? It's all tied up, actually. 332 00:27:32,287 --> 00:27:34,164 With a big ribbon. 333 00:27:34,327 --> 00:27:37,524 Yeah, I've managed to establish a watertight alibi, 334 00:27:37,687 --> 00:27:41,282 which we're expecting to lead to a retraction of charges, 335 00:27:41,447 --> 00:27:45,725 but thanks, anyway, I know you meant well. Got to dash. Bye-ee! 336 00:27:57,887 --> 00:28:01,084 I'm not in. I'm not in! 337 00:28:15,487 --> 00:28:17,876 - Yup? - Wardrobe for Magellan. 338 00:28:18,047 --> 00:28:20,845 Oh, great! I'll be right down. Thanks. 339 00:28:21,527 --> 00:28:26,760 Hi. I'll just give it the quick once over before we start. 340 00:28:28,527 --> 00:28:29,926 Yes! 341 00:28:30,087 --> 00:28:32,157 Brilliant, I love it! 342 00:28:32,327 --> 00:28:34,283 Just sign there, please, love. 343 00:28:34,447 --> 00:28:40,238 I'm afraid I live on the top floor and it won't fit in the lift, which is unfortunate. 344 00:28:42,647 --> 00:28:44,922 Unfortunate is the right word. 345 00:28:45,087 --> 00:28:47,920 Um... can you hang on for us a sec, darling? 346 00:28:59,607 --> 00:29:04,681 YOU BASTARDS! You complete bastards! I can't believe you did that! 347 00:29:05,927 --> 00:29:07,645 Morning. 348 00:29:07,807 --> 00:29:09,877 Is this a coincidence? 349 00:29:10,847 --> 00:29:13,998 One of our biggest clients is round the corner. 350 00:29:14,167 --> 00:29:16,886 Can I be of any help at all? 351 00:29:25,087 --> 00:29:26,486 No problem. 352 00:29:49,607 --> 00:29:51,962 Oh, thank you very much! 353 00:30:03,407 --> 00:30:04,726 Careful. 354 00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:22,440 Right. 355 00:30:23,847 --> 00:30:25,838 In here will be lovely. 356 00:30:30,927 --> 00:30:35,523 Yeah, um... try not to scratch it if you can help it. 357 00:30:43,167 --> 00:30:44,566 That's it. 358 00:30:49,127 --> 00:30:51,960 Yeah, I think... probably, uh-huh. 359 00:30:52,127 --> 00:30:55,437 Just against this wall for now. 360 00:30:57,807 --> 00:30:59,877 What can I say? 361 00:31:00,047 --> 00:31:02,038 You're a trooper. 362 00:31:04,767 --> 00:31:09,477 I've got... an appointment at 12.00. 363 00:31:10,647 --> 00:31:12,365 Have you? 364 00:31:12,527 --> 00:31:14,677 You'd better look lively, then. 365 00:31:14,847 --> 00:31:16,166 Yes. 366 00:31:17,007 --> 00:31:21,398 So, you'll... give me a ring maybe? 367 00:31:22,567 --> 00:31:23,886 Hmm? 368 00:31:24,287 --> 00:31:26,801 Yes. Definitely. 369 00:31:27,527 --> 00:31:29,518 Thanks ever so much. 370 00:31:33,887 --> 00:31:35,718 Bye, Maddy. 371 00:31:35,887 --> 00:31:37,366 OK, bye. 372 00:32:00,807 --> 00:32:04,880 I don't care if he is arranging an elephant's funeral, 373 00:32:05,047 --> 00:32:08,756 just find him and tell him to get his arse round here NOW! 374 00:32:14,407 --> 00:32:17,285 So, let's run through this from the top. 375 00:32:17,447 --> 00:32:19,597 The wardrobe was empty. 376 00:32:19,767 --> 00:32:21,758 You closed the door. 377 00:32:22,767 --> 00:32:27,079 You brought it upstairs, through this door... 378 00:32:33,287 --> 00:32:35,437 ...and along here. 379 00:32:41,807 --> 00:32:43,206 Mmm. 380 00:32:43,367 --> 00:32:45,164 Around here... 381 00:32:49,127 --> 00:32:51,482 ...and into this room. 382 00:32:53,007 --> 00:32:55,157 Against that wall. 383 00:32:56,887 --> 00:33:01,836 By which time, somehow or other, the cupboard has acquired a body, 384 00:33:02,007 --> 00:33:06,956 brutally battered to death across the back of her head. 385 00:33:08,607 --> 00:33:09,926 Hmm. 386 00:33:12,807 --> 00:33:16,322 - It's a good one, isn't it? - A good one 387 00:33:16,487 --> 00:33:19,206 Is that all you can say? 388 00:33:19,847 --> 00:33:22,361 Somewhere between here and the ground, 389 00:33:22,527 --> 00:33:26,361 someone has planted a corpse in there and I didn't even see! 390 00:33:26,527 --> 00:33:29,963 The cops think I'm mental. It's seriously impossible! 391 00:33:36,007 --> 00:33:37,963 What floor is this? 392 00:33:38,127 --> 00:33:41,005 Fourth, and there are eight flights of stairs. 393 00:33:43,087 --> 00:33:46,238 Anyone else come near you at any point on the way? 394 00:33:47,367 --> 00:33:50,325 Mrs Barnstable, the next floor down, 395 00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:54,002 brought out some lemonade, but otherwise... 396 00:33:54,167 --> 00:33:57,159 Mrs Barnstable the celebrated lemonade doper, 397 00:33:57,327 --> 00:34:01,764 with her trick of switching cabinets under the victim's nose. 398 00:34:01,927 --> 00:34:03,838 Zola Zbzewski is dead! 399 00:34:04,007 --> 00:34:06,726 First someone tries to frame her for murder, 400 00:34:06,887 --> 00:34:11,278 and when that fails, they use a blunt instrument and dump the body here, 401 00:34:11,447 --> 00:34:13,722 presumably to try and rattle me! 402 00:34:13,887 --> 00:34:18,597 If the best you can do is make glib remarks, you can go home now! 403 00:34:33,767 --> 00:34:35,564 Jonathan? 404 00:34:41,487 --> 00:34:44,285 Nope. All seems pukka. 405 00:34:46,247 --> 00:34:49,842 No panels, no breakaways, no phantom joints. 406 00:34:50,727 --> 00:34:52,957 Just a wardrobe, really. 407 00:34:54,487 --> 00:34:55,806 So... 408 00:34:57,167 --> 00:34:59,727 - Want to know how it was done? - Yes! 409 00:35:00,687 --> 00:35:02,678 That makes two of us. 410 00:35:16,167 --> 00:35:18,442 NO! NO! 411 00:35:18,607 --> 00:35:21,519 NO, SHE CAN'T BE! 412 00:35:47,927 --> 00:35:49,519 Ah. 413 00:35:55,887 --> 00:36:00,403 Yea... I don't know, sorry. 414 00:36:53,127 --> 00:36:56,517 So you think it happened on the third floor landing. 415 00:36:56,687 --> 00:37:01,442 They pushed Zola in through the back of the cupboard while it was by the window. 416 00:37:01,607 --> 00:37:03,245 Mmm-hmm. 417 00:37:03,407 --> 00:37:08,959 40 feet above ground, someone's shinned up a sheer wall with a body over their shoulder? 418 00:37:09,127 --> 00:37:12,915 - So, what? It's impossible? - It can't be, because you saw it. 419 00:37:13,087 --> 00:37:17,080 I can see you, you're still impossible! What's that? 420 00:37:17,247 --> 00:37:22,241 It's two things. Firstly, it's the head off one of Mrs Barnstable's geraniums 421 00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:25,240 which I found lying on the ground out the back. 422 00:37:25,407 --> 00:37:30,322 And, more importantly, it's a point on the graph. 423 00:37:31,967 --> 00:37:33,958 Another one... 424 00:37:35,127 --> 00:37:37,118 Oh, I dunno. 425 00:37:38,087 --> 00:37:39,566 What? 426 00:37:39,727 --> 00:37:46,724 That overflow pipe below the kitchen window has very recently been scratched and bent. 427 00:37:46,887 --> 00:37:51,403 A few more co-ordinates, we'll start to join them and see where this is... 428 00:37:52,887 --> 00:37:54,320 ...leading. 429 00:37:55,807 --> 00:37:58,446 I get nervous. I have to eat. 430 00:37:58,607 --> 00:38:03,203 It's a good combo. Have you never put them together as ice cream flavours? 431 00:38:03,367 --> 00:38:06,677 Did anything else out of the ordinary happen today? 432 00:38:06,847 --> 00:38:10,317 Any strange sounds, visitors, phone calls? 433 00:38:10,487 --> 00:38:14,639 Suspicious people with rope ladders and large sacks? 434 00:38:15,687 --> 00:38:19,885 Phone! There was a message, or rather, there wasn't, on my machine. 435 00:38:20,047 --> 00:38:24,040 But no one spoke. I suppose someone got a wrong number. 436 00:38:24,207 --> 00:38:27,916 - Have you had any incoming calls since? - No, not incoming. 437 00:38:28,767 --> 00:38:31,565 The caller's number should still be logged. 438 00:38:31,727 --> 00:38:33,797 If we dial 1471... 439 00:38:35,727 --> 00:38:37,718 No number recorded. 440 00:38:39,127 --> 00:38:43,723 - Could be blocked. More likely a mobile. - Is this remotely relevant? 441 00:38:45,647 --> 00:38:47,638 Probably not. 442 00:38:48,847 --> 00:38:51,202 Madeleine Magellan. 443 00:38:51,367 --> 00:38:52,766 Yes. 444 00:38:53,647 --> 00:38:55,080 What? 445 00:38:55,887 --> 00:38:58,640 A- A-And they're absolutely sure that...? 446 00:39:00,167 --> 00:39:01,998 Right. No. 447 00:39:02,167 --> 00:39:03,885 Thanks, Jim. 448 00:39:04,047 --> 00:39:06,197 I appreciate it. 449 00:39:07,407 --> 00:39:13,164 Police. They found iron piping outside Zola's house with her blood on it. 450 00:39:13,327 --> 00:39:18,117 They've also matched the pipe to some iron filings found in her head wound. 451 00:39:18,287 --> 00:39:22,075 So, either someone went back there to dump the murder weapon... 452 00:39:22,247 --> 00:39:28,880 Or she was killed at home and then brought five miles across town here 453 00:39:29,047 --> 00:39:31,038 to my flat! 454 00:40:16,647 --> 00:40:18,205 Jonathan! 455 00:40:18,847 --> 00:40:20,166 Hmm? 456 00:40:20,327 --> 00:40:24,002 It's called respect for the dead. How many more times? 457 00:40:24,167 --> 00:40:27,603 Do you know, this could be another point on our graph. 458 00:40:27,767 --> 00:40:29,678 What's that? 459 00:40:30,327 --> 00:40:33,956 Do you know the difference between a tracking shot and a pan? 460 00:40:34,127 --> 00:40:35,606 Beg pardon? 461 00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:40,204 That fence in her garden that this was filmed over, how high was it? 462 00:40:40,367 --> 00:40:42,483 Around six foot. 463 00:40:43,607 --> 00:40:46,201 That tells us how tall our snooper was. 464 00:40:46,367 --> 00:40:48,881 Over six feet, I suppose he'd have to be, 465 00:40:49,047 --> 00:40:53,279 to get these pictures and then drop the camera over the side. 466 00:40:53,447 --> 00:40:56,007 What's this to do with a body in a wardrobe? 467 00:40:56,167 --> 00:40:59,557 You think he was over six feet, do you? 468 00:40:59,727 --> 00:41:01,683 Interesting. 469 00:41:01,847 --> 00:41:04,202 What's that supposed to mean? 470 00:41:07,287 --> 00:41:10,404 Sometimes it's useful to look beyond the obvious. 471 00:41:10,567 --> 00:41:13,240 What rubbish are you talking now? 472 00:41:15,927 --> 00:41:17,246 Rubbish? 473 00:41:18,407 --> 00:41:20,557 Rubbish. You could have a point. 474 00:41:21,567 --> 00:41:26,118 - Where are you off to? - To investigate the clue of the geranium. 475 00:41:57,527 --> 00:41:58,846 Morning. 476 00:41:59,007 --> 00:42:00,759 It's the bad penny! 477 00:42:01,847 --> 00:42:04,407 Actually, it's my day off, so... um... 478 00:42:04,567 --> 00:42:06,797 I don't know how you're fixed. 479 00:42:06,967 --> 00:42:09,435 Oh, I bought you some underwear. 480 00:42:11,087 --> 00:42:13,362 Oh, Shelford. 481 00:42:13,527 --> 00:42:16,724 I think you'd better come in for a sec. 482 00:42:23,087 --> 00:42:26,204 Look, it's not that I don't find you attractive... 483 00:42:26,367 --> 00:42:28,358 - Oh, good. - No, that's not true. 484 00:42:28,527 --> 00:42:31,087 It is that I don't find you attractive. 485 00:42:31,247 --> 00:42:36,446 It's no reflection on you as a person. You're very warm and kind and... generous. 486 00:42:36,607 --> 00:42:41,556 But I don't want to spend another second of my life in your company. 487 00:42:41,727 --> 00:42:43,843 Do you understand? 488 00:42:44,007 --> 00:42:47,158 It could never work, not even as science fiction. 489 00:42:47,327 --> 00:42:51,923 You and me are a total no-no. 490 00:42:53,687 --> 00:42:55,882 Still, it's early days, isn't it? 491 00:42:56,047 --> 00:42:59,881 And from little acorns, mighty oaks do grow. 492 00:43:01,887 --> 00:43:05,846 And the other thing is, I'm already sleeping with Jonathan. 493 00:43:06,807 --> 00:43:08,957 Where have you been?! 494 00:43:09,127 --> 00:43:13,962 Love rocket, come here and give me your tongue! 495 00:43:25,927 --> 00:43:28,760 I'll... um... see myself out. 496 00:43:45,087 --> 00:43:49,797 What in hell do you smell of?! 497 00:43:53,407 --> 00:43:55,398 Two-week-old halibut, 498 00:43:55,567 --> 00:43:57,125 rotting chop suey. 499 00:43:58,407 --> 00:44:00,125 I had to do that. 500 00:44:01,567 --> 00:44:04,684 It was the only way to get through to him. 501 00:44:04,847 --> 00:44:06,838 Well, it seemed to work. 502 00:44:15,167 --> 00:44:17,522 Oh, God... I need a bath. 503 00:44:17,687 --> 00:44:20,679 What were you rummaging around down there for? 504 00:44:45,327 --> 00:44:48,444 At least we now know who murdered David Churchin. 505 00:44:48,607 --> 00:44:52,077 And it goes a long way to explaining the miracle on the stairs. 506 00:45:11,647 --> 00:45:15,083 Is there anything at all I can...? 507 00:45:25,447 --> 00:45:26,846 SAM! 508 00:45:52,887 --> 00:45:54,957 I... hope you don't mind. 509 00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:58,756 My friend, Jonathan, has been helping me with this story. 510 00:45:58,927 --> 00:46:01,999 It's down to him that we've got to the truth. 511 00:46:02,167 --> 00:46:03,998 You mean, you know? 512 00:46:04,167 --> 00:46:07,842 Victoria, I don't think we should be talking to reporters. 513 00:46:08,007 --> 00:46:14,321 I brought her in to help Mum, which she did, so we can listen to what she has to say, OK? 514 00:46:14,487 --> 00:46:16,318 What are they? 515 00:46:17,967 --> 00:46:22,245 Two videos, which between them tell the whole story. 516 00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:28,037 Before that, Mr Brickman, what is the number on your mobile phone? 517 00:46:28,207 --> 00:46:30,641 What's that got to do with anything? 518 00:46:30,807 --> 00:46:32,798 It's a simple enough question. 519 00:46:35,727 --> 00:46:39,037 0850078674. 520 00:46:39,207 --> 00:46:41,243 - Interesting. - What is this? 521 00:46:41,407 --> 00:46:44,717 Why did you ring my flat without leaving a message? 522 00:46:44,887 --> 00:46:47,720 I never did! Why would I ring your flat? 523 00:46:47,887 --> 00:46:54,042 So, how come when we called 1471, it was your number we wrote down? 524 00:46:54,207 --> 00:46:58,086 You rang me at 11.45, the same moment the wardrobe arrived, 525 00:46:58,247 --> 00:47:01,762 because you wanted to make sure there was no one at home. 526 00:47:03,207 --> 00:47:04,526 You... 527 00:47:05,887 --> 00:47:08,003 ...killed my mother. 528 00:47:08,167 --> 00:47:11,557 - YOU KILLED HER! - I LOVED HER! 529 00:47:11,727 --> 00:47:14,195 I LOVED HER! 530 00:47:16,447 --> 00:47:18,165 I loved her. 531 00:47:21,047 --> 00:47:24,278 Like every other man who ever met her! 532 00:47:24,447 --> 00:47:26,403 God save us all! 533 00:47:28,967 --> 00:47:34,041 You loved her, and that's why you filmed her, isn't it, Mr Brickman? 534 00:47:34,927 --> 00:47:36,804 On this tape. 535 00:47:39,727 --> 00:47:41,445 May I? 536 00:47:55,327 --> 00:47:57,477 This isn't real! 537 00:47:57,647 --> 00:48:00,605 We talked about the fence being six feet high. 538 00:48:00,767 --> 00:48:04,123 You saw a tall man looking over the top. 539 00:48:04,287 --> 00:48:08,246 I saw a short man standing on a box. 540 00:48:08,407 --> 00:48:11,285 It's all to do with the movement of the camera. 541 00:48:12,007 --> 00:48:16,683 A tall man on the ground would have walked along the fence 542 00:48:16,847 --> 00:48:19,441 to follow her from room to room. 543 00:48:19,607 --> 00:48:25,477 A man standing on a box swivels the camera to keep her in frame. 544 00:48:25,647 --> 00:48:29,686 A subtle distinction fairly meaningless in itself. 545 00:48:32,047 --> 00:48:34,277 Until we come to this. 546 00:48:44,767 --> 00:48:48,442 #... Summer holiday, no more worries for... # 547 00:48:56,647 --> 00:49:00,356 It taught me that to achieve any presence in this world... 548 00:49:00,527 --> 00:49:03,360 That's the same thing we just saw 549 00:49:03,527 --> 00:49:05,597 on the TV Zola was watching. 550 00:49:05,767 --> 00:49:08,520 Not hard, was it, to whack it together. 551 00:49:08,687 --> 00:49:13,442 "Porridge" and "Summer Holiday" are available at the local video shop, 552 00:49:13,607 --> 00:49:17,441 and the "Newsnight" titles you just taped the following night. 553 00:49:17,607 --> 00:49:21,964 Of course, Zola's interview you'd recorded off air, anyway. 554 00:49:22,127 --> 00:49:27,155 In other words, everything we just saw was a fake. 555 00:49:28,287 --> 00:49:33,486 She knew you were filming her because that's exactly what you'd arranged. 556 00:49:33,647 --> 00:49:39,324 When she pointed the remote at the set, she wasn't watching live television at all. 557 00:49:39,487 --> 00:49:42,638 She was switching on the video to play this tape. 558 00:49:42,807 --> 00:49:45,924 - No! - When you filmed her it wasn't Thursday. 559 00:49:46,087 --> 00:49:49,079 It was Friday. She wasn't here on Thursday night. 560 00:49:49,247 --> 00:49:53,445 - It's lies! - That's when she went to murder Churchin! 561 00:49:53,607 --> 00:49:55,245 NO! 562 00:50:01,767 --> 00:50:08,445 She rang me soon afterwards, when she realised about the earring. 563 00:50:08,607 --> 00:50:11,280 She had no alibi. 564 00:50:12,327 --> 00:50:14,397 She started to panic. 565 00:50:15,647 --> 00:50:18,525 I had the idea of the Peeping Tom. 566 00:50:19,727 --> 00:50:24,403 If we could make it look as if someone had caught her on camera that night... 567 00:50:25,407 --> 00:50:27,477 ...it might see her in the clear. 568 00:50:27,647 --> 00:50:30,764 So I was brought here as an impartial witness 569 00:50:30,927 --> 00:50:35,478 to be present when the tape was "accidentally" found in the garden. 570 00:50:35,647 --> 00:50:38,844 And, for a few hours, that put the lid on it. 571 00:50:39,007 --> 00:50:41,965 Till we realised you'd got the wrong tape. 572 00:50:42,127 --> 00:50:47,724 Yes. I think to leave your specially edited tape lying around was careless. 573 00:50:47,887 --> 00:50:51,675 So Victoria could give it to me by mistake to take home. 574 00:50:56,207 --> 00:50:58,675 We knew you'd realise when you saw it. 575 00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:01,122 So we had to get it back fast. 576 00:51:02,207 --> 00:51:05,882 Next morning, I picked her up. We drove to your place. 577 00:51:06,047 --> 00:51:09,676 We rang to make sure there was no one there. 578 00:51:10,727 --> 00:51:13,480 Yes, we got the machine. 579 00:51:13,647 --> 00:51:16,161 So we assumed it was safe. 580 00:51:16,567 --> 00:51:20,242 Zola went round the back to look for a way in. 581 00:51:20,407 --> 00:51:23,479 She told me to sit tight in the car and wait. 582 00:52:21,927 --> 00:52:23,918 That was it. 583 00:52:24,567 --> 00:52:27,320 God knows how long I sat there. 584 00:52:28,767 --> 00:52:30,758 Then I heard sirens. 585 00:52:30,927 --> 00:52:35,443 So I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what. 586 00:52:35,607 --> 00:52:37,199 In the end... 587 00:52:40,127 --> 00:52:43,199 ...I panicked and drove away. 588 00:52:43,847 --> 00:52:48,284 But I think we can make an educated guess at what happened. 589 00:52:50,287 --> 00:52:53,643 Once inside, it doesn't take Zola long to find the VHS, 590 00:52:53,807 --> 00:52:57,083 which she switches for the one you were meant to have. 591 00:53:00,287 --> 00:53:04,644 But then, just as she's about to leave, it all goes wrong. 592 00:53:07,647 --> 00:53:12,357 Instinctively, she hides in the spare bedroom and gets rid of the evidence. 593 00:53:12,527 --> 00:53:17,555 On its way to the dustbin, it decapitates a geranium from the floor below. 594 00:53:17,727 --> 00:53:21,959 She probably thinks she's in the room you're least likely to go into. 595 00:53:22,127 --> 00:53:25,915 But by a cruel twist of fate, it's the one you do go into. 596 00:53:26,087 --> 00:53:30,717 She gets behind the door. What will she do? She's cornered and frightened. 597 00:53:30,887 --> 00:53:33,321 But something else is happening, too. 598 00:53:33,487 --> 00:53:38,356 When they found her body with the dent in the back of her head, 599 00:53:38,527 --> 00:53:42,725 it was natural to assume she was bludgeoned to death. 600 00:53:43,367 --> 00:53:46,404 None of us considered the real explanation. 601 00:53:46,567 --> 00:53:49,445 When I first arrived to pick her up... 602 00:53:49,607 --> 00:53:51,996 she was coming out of the house. 603 00:54:10,967 --> 00:54:12,764 Oi! 604 00:54:12,927 --> 00:54:14,918 It knocked her for six. 605 00:54:15,087 --> 00:54:20,639 I sat her down, asked her if she wanted a doctor, an ambulance. 606 00:54:20,807 --> 00:54:26,359 But after ten minutes, she just seemed to snap out of it. 607 00:54:26,527 --> 00:54:28,438 Said she was fine. 608 00:54:28,607 --> 00:54:32,646 We weren't to lose any time getting this tape back. 609 00:54:33,527 --> 00:54:38,317 Of course, she wasn't fine. The concussion was already fatal. 610 00:54:38,487 --> 00:54:44,801 A burst blood vessel in the brain which didn't kick in until she was in the flat. 611 00:54:44,967 --> 00:54:48,880 She was feeling groggy. She was about to be found out. 612 00:54:49,047 --> 00:54:51,481 What were her options? 613 00:54:51,647 --> 00:54:56,357 There was an outside chance that wardrobe would not be immediately opened. 614 00:54:56,527 --> 00:55:00,361 She could lie low and slip out later when no one was about. 615 00:55:03,447 --> 00:55:05,961 That's it. Well done. 616 00:55:06,127 --> 00:55:10,564 Seconds after she's inside, she suffers a fatal haemorrhage. 617 00:55:10,727 --> 00:55:13,685 So, when Maddy opened the doors... 618 00:55:16,087 --> 00:55:18,157 ...she found a dead body. 619 00:55:25,527 --> 00:55:29,964 I suppose some people might call that justice... 620 00:55:32,527 --> 00:55:33,926 ...but I... 621 00:55:37,767 --> 00:55:39,359 Hang on a minute. 622 00:55:41,687 --> 00:55:47,683 That 1471 number doesn't store mobiles! 623 00:55:47,847 --> 00:55:52,762 - You couldn't have got my number that way. - I didn't. 624 00:55:52,927 --> 00:55:56,124 I wrote it down when she read it out. 625 00:55:56,287 --> 00:56:00,075 Little bit of graphite under the thumbnail. 626 00:56:00,247 --> 00:56:02,920 It's as old as the hills. 627 00:56:03,087 --> 00:56:05,043 Sorry about that. 628 00:56:20,127 --> 00:56:21,845 You OK? 629 00:56:22,007 --> 00:56:27,161 I shouldn't have gone. I'm not good at funerals at the best of times. 630 00:56:27,327 --> 00:56:29,318 It was so upsetting. 631 00:56:29,487 --> 00:56:35,801 My God, I couldn't believe it when they dropped the coffin outside the church. 632 00:56:35,967 --> 00:56:39,596 - I know. - When it broke open and her trunk fell out! 633 00:56:39,767 --> 00:56:42,520 It's just... so undignified! 634 00:56:42,687 --> 00:56:46,521 I thought they'd never get that crane repaired! 635 00:56:46,687 --> 00:56:49,440 You know Adam. Never does things by halves. 636 00:56:49,607 --> 00:56:54,078 We could have done without the ten elephants trumpeting the Last Post. 637 00:56:54,247 --> 00:56:56,920 I know. It sounded more like a traffic jam! 638 00:57:08,487 --> 00:57:11,684 I'm not a violent lady, Miss Magellan, 639 00:57:11,847 --> 00:57:16,762 but I'm also not so pig ignorant not to see how you're trying to steal my husband! 640 00:57:16,927 --> 00:57:19,646 Now I'm giving you fair warning. 641 00:57:19,807 --> 00:57:23,516 Keep your claws off him and your nose out of our marriage, 642 00:57:23,687 --> 00:57:27,157 or next time, you won't have a nose left. 643 00:57:35,487 --> 00:57:41,039 You know, it's funny, but the humour of this completely escapes me. 644 00:57:41,887 --> 00:57:46,597 Actually, I had noticed a pale line round his finger as if he normally wore a... 645 00:57:46,767 --> 00:57:48,280 wedding ring. 646 00:57:49,727 --> 00:57:52,446 I'll go stick my head down a toilet, shall I? 647 00:57:52,607 --> 00:57:54,837 Make sure you flush it. 648 00:57:54,887 --> 00:57:59,437 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 53438

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