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1
00:00:09,608 --> 00:00:12,412
ALF: Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking.
2
00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:15,148
Welcome to beautiful
Jacksonville, Florida.
3
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,816
Current local time is 4:20.
4
00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:18,718
And please be careful when
opening overhead compartments,
5
00:00:18,751 --> 00:00:21,220
as the many, many bags
of sticky icky icky
6
00:00:21,253 --> 00:00:23,589
may have shifted in flight.
We thank you for flying
7
00:00:23,622 --> 00:00:26,125
-Chron Air.
-RONNIE (laughs): Chron Air was
8
00:00:26,158 --> 00:00:27,727
-way better than Air Bud.
-You know, 'cause of
9
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,595
-Con Air.
-Yeah. No, I got it.
10
00:00:29,628 --> 00:00:31,831
Yo, yo, can you
believe this shit?
11
00:00:31,864 --> 00:00:33,800
They got 'Pac
performing at Coachella.
12
00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:35,835
I told you
Makaveli was alive!
13
00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:37,370
You owe me another
Jet Ski, dawg.
14
00:00:37,403 --> 00:00:38,704
He's not alive,
motherfucker.
15
00:00:38,737 --> 00:00:40,473
It's a hologram.
16
00:00:40,506 --> 00:00:42,608
And it's corny as fuck.
You know what? If I die,
17
00:00:42,641 --> 00:00:44,544
you better make sure
I never become a hologram.
18
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:46,111
You two. I'm serious.
I'll come back.
19
00:00:46,145 --> 00:00:47,814
-BOTH: Bet.
-Matter of fact, Craig,
20
00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:49,782
notarize this shit right now.
I hereby
21
00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:52,117
give the rights
of my hologram to Alf and Ron
22
00:00:52,151 --> 00:00:54,320
so I might never become
a fucking hologram.
23
00:00:54,353 --> 00:00:55,655
-Thank you.
-Fine.
24
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:57,323
-Amen.
-I'll file it with Ronnie
25
00:00:57,356 --> 00:00:58,558
and Jake the Snake's pre-nup.
26
00:00:58,591 --> 00:01:01,160
-Oh, shit.
-(siren blaring)
27
00:01:01,193 --> 00:01:03,129
-Guys, we got company.
-LOU: No shit.
28
00:01:03,162 --> 00:01:04,596
Everywhere we land is like
a fuckin' championship parade.
29
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,131
-RONNIE: Fact.
-CRAIG: No.
30
00:01:06,165 --> 00:01:07,467
-We got bad company.
-ALF: You better
31
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,801
be talkin' about
Paul Rodgers,
32
00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:10,703
Simon Kirke, Mick Ralphs
and Boz Burrell.
33
00:01:10,736 --> 00:01:11,771
CRAIG: No, not the band
Bad Company.
34
00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:13,106
I'm talking about the police.
35
00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:14,140
ALF:
You better be talkin'
36
00:01:14,173 --> 00:01:15,241
about Stewart Copeland,
37
00:01:15,274 --> 00:01:16,375
-Andy Summers and Sting.
-Why would
38
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,845
two classic rock outfits
be waiting for us on the tarmac?
39
00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,680
RONNIE: Speaking of
classic rock outfits,
40
00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:23,282
what's with your lace-up
leather pants, you fuckin' dork?
41
00:01:23,315 --> 00:01:25,451
You look like
Steven Tyler's mic stand.
42
00:01:25,484 --> 00:01:27,253
-(laughter)
-Ha. Ha.
43
00:01:27,286 --> 00:01:28,488
-ALF: You look like
you do close-up magic. -(laughter)
44
00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:29,722
Police! Get out of the plane!
45
00:01:29,755 --> 00:01:30,789
ALF: I'm surprised
you're not wearing
46
00:01:30,823 --> 00:01:31,791
one of those
low-slung belts
47
00:01:31,824 --> 00:01:33,392
off the belt loop
48
00:01:33,425 --> 00:01:34,794
with the, like,
metal discs on it. Oh.
49
00:01:34,827 --> 00:01:36,295
-I am.
-Oh.
50
00:01:36,328 --> 00:01:38,131
Just wrapped out
a tour with Daughtry.
51
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:40,700
Guys, I'm talking
about actual law enforcement
52
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,568
outside...
right now.
53
00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:44,470
-They're gonna raid the plane.
-RONNIE: All right, so,
54
00:01:44,503 --> 00:01:46,606
walk out there
in your bent-toe snakeskin boots
55
00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,407
and... take care of it.
56
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:49,675
There's no taking
care of it.
57
00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:51,844
We're in Florida,
Lou is a rapper.
58
00:01:51,877 --> 00:01:54,213
Someone has to take the fall
for the pounds and pounds
59
00:01:54,246 --> 00:01:56,181
of marijuana we
have on this plane.
60
00:01:56,215 --> 00:01:58,718
So who should it be?
The once-in-a-generation talent,
61
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,686
the manager who cleans up
all the messes,
62
00:02:00,719 --> 00:02:02,455
or one of the two friends?
63
00:02:02,488 --> 00:02:04,491
64
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:07,827
All right.
65
00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:09,628
Rock, paper...
66
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,264
You're white.
67
00:02:12,498 --> 00:02:14,733
I owe you one, brah.
68
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:17,503
Ay, ay, ay, ay
69
00:02:17,536 --> 00:02:20,339
Same squad, same squad,
same squad
70
00:02:20,372 --> 00:02:22,408
Droptop coupe,
dodge raindrops
71
00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:25,278
Big bag plays on FaceTime
72
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,647
Squad ain't with me
then it ain't right
73
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,549
Same squad, same squad,
same squad
74
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:32,852
Cross moves quick like A.I.
75
00:02:32,885 --> 00:02:34,820
Chains shine bright
like daytime
76
00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:37,357
Ay, ay, ay, ay.
77
00:02:43,495 --> 00:02:46,299
There's some Nerd Rope
in the glove if you want.
78
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:51,837
So we don't talk for six months,
and then all of a sudden,
79
00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:53,873
you barge in
and invoke Jacksonville?
80
00:02:53,906 --> 00:02:56,609
I needed you, and I knew
what you were gonna say.
81
00:02:56,642 --> 00:02:58,311
Fuck you, dude.
82
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:01,447
Yeah, which is exactly why
I invoked Jacksonville.
83
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,881
So at least tell me
where we're going.
84
00:03:02,915 --> 00:03:05,584
Ah, bah, bah, burr.
Jacksonville.
85
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:07,587
So we're actually
going to Jacksonville?
86
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:10,890
Buh, buh, buh, buh,
burr. Jacksonville.
87
00:03:10,923 --> 00:03:12,992
Oh, I really missed you, dog.
88
00:03:13,025 --> 00:03:15,728
You know, I'm sensing
some sarcasm in your voice.
89
00:03:15,761 --> 00:03:18,831
If you really want to know why
I needed you, it's because I...
90
00:03:18,864 --> 00:03:20,900
What? So you can come
and ruin my life...
91
00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:22,734
again? Well, of course.
92
00:03:22,768 --> 00:03:23,936
Soon as I get my shit
together, you just come
93
00:03:23,969 --> 00:03:25,404
and you shit all over it.
94
00:03:25,437 --> 00:03:27,807
And you're fucking toxic,
you know that?
95
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,508
Everything bad
that's happened to me
96
00:03:29,541 --> 00:03:32,612
in my life is because of you.
97
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:34,847
Well...
98
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:38,650
you don't have to be so dramatic
about it, Alfonso Streisand.
99
00:03:38,684 --> 00:03:40,987
It'll take two
hours, tops,
100
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:42,655
-which is why I really...
-Don't care!
101
00:03:42,688 --> 00:03:45,757
All right? Jacksonville
does not include chitchat.
102
00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:49,561
Really? I went
to jail for you.
103
00:03:49,595 --> 00:03:52,331
You know what?
104
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:55,701
Fine. Jacksonville does
not include chitchat.
105
00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:57,737
Thank you.
106
00:04:00,372 --> 00:04:02,375
107
00:04:07,479 --> 00:04:09,415
ALF: This place is like
fucking True Detective.
108
00:04:09,448 --> 00:04:11,417
The good season that was
supposedly plagiarized,
109
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:14,019
not the one that fucking sucked.
What are we doing here?
110
00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:16,922
Nothing. I just got to make a
quick, non-shady transaction.
111
00:04:16,954 --> 00:04:18,991
Oh. You're buying drugs.
112
00:04:19,024 --> 00:04:21,427
I should have known that
intervention wasn't gonna last.
113
00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:23,462
You mean that ambush
you planned for me?
114
00:04:23,495 --> 00:04:25,464
Oh, you know, I'm so sorry
that I didn't want you to die.
115
00:04:25,497 --> 00:04:27,066
I was actually concerned.
116
00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:28,933
You were so concerned
that you didn't even show up.
117
00:04:28,967 --> 00:04:30,635
And then you ghosted on me
for six months.
118
00:04:30,669 --> 00:04:32,471
You know,
119
00:04:32,504 --> 00:04:34,840
maybe I was busy digging myself
out of the crater you created
120
00:04:34,873 --> 00:04:37,409
when you sent Courtney
a sex tape of me and my cousin.
121
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,479
(rhythmic beeping)
122
00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:48,287
(dog barks in distance)
123
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:10,576
(line ringing)
124
00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:12,478
LAFONSO:
Go for L'fonz!
125
00:05:12,511 --> 00:05:14,914
Hey, Pops. (scoffs)
You're not gonna believe this.
126
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:18,384
Ronnie showed up and cashed in
an I.O.U. I couldn't refuse.
127
00:05:18,417 --> 00:05:20,585
So now he's got me in the middle
of God-fucking-knows-where
128
00:05:20,619 --> 00:05:22,855
doing God-fucking-knows-what.
129
00:05:22,888 --> 00:05:24,724
Yeah, I honestly
might kick his ass.
130
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,559
LAFONSO: Oh, come on, now.
I think it's good
131
00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:28,027
you two are hanging out.
132
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,463
Maybe time you, uh,
gave him another shot.
133
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,532
Hey, uh...
hey, are you eating?
134
00:05:33,565 --> 00:05:35,935
I mean, okay,
I know I'm not your sponsor,
135
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,137
but I thought we weren't
snacking between meals.
136
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,905
LAFONSO:
Hey, now, I'm just...
137
00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:42,375
I'm just chewing
some Calorette.
138
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,844
Meal-flavored gum, like
Nicorette but for food addicts.
139
00:05:44,877 --> 00:05:46,379
(Lafonso smacks lips)
140
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,114
Oh, sorry.
141
00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:49,782
Uh, is it good?
142
00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:51,484
LAFONSO: Some are better
than others.
143
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,619
The chicken Kiev's
a little bland.
144
00:05:53,652 --> 00:05:55,554
I like the fajitas.
145
00:05:55,587 --> 00:05:58,591
You know, people can change,
son, if you let them.
146
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:00,559
-(Alfonso munching)
-I know.
147
00:06:00,592 --> 00:06:02,594
LAFONSO: Maybe Ronnie's
different now, too.
148
00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:07,466
-Nope.
-(phone beeps off)
149
00:06:07,499 --> 00:06:09,635
I knew it!
I knew it was fucking drugs!
150
00:06:09,668 --> 00:06:12,505
-It's not drugs.
-Then what's in your hand?
151
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,508
It's Lou.
152
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,510
-What?!
-Well, it's probably like
153
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,746
a tenth of Lou, and maybe
even only half of that is Lou.
154
00:06:20,779 --> 00:06:23,482
Amir definitely stepped
on it with some dog ashes.
155
00:06:23,515 --> 00:06:26,519
He owns a yes-kill shelter
called Amir One Impounds.
156
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:27,853
Well, I'm gonna need you
to run that back,
157
00:06:27,886 --> 00:06:29,121
like, all the way, please.
158
00:06:29,154 --> 00:06:31,557
When I sold Lou's
ashes to Amir,
159
00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:33,525
he split them up
and sold them
160
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:36,729
to some presumably
very fucked-up people.
161
00:06:36,762 --> 00:06:39,565
Fans are so fucking weird.
162
00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:41,200
-Gross.
-So what?
163
00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:43,502
This is your Jacksonville, huh?
You just want me to ride along
164
00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:44,970
with you shotgun while
you pick up Lou's ashes?
165
00:06:45,003 --> 00:06:46,705
And then we're square?
166
00:06:46,738 --> 00:06:49,074
-Yeah. And do you want
to know why? -Nah, man.
167
00:06:49,107 --> 00:06:50,643
Just hurry the fuck up.
168
00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:52,678
Unlike you, I've got
a life to get back to.
169
00:06:52,711 --> 00:06:56,215
Wow. Really hit me
with both barrels, huh?
170
00:06:56,248 --> 00:06:58,683
Sheesh.
171
00:06:58,717 --> 00:07:02,655
Oh...
172
00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:04,924
King-ah king-ah king-ah
king-ah king-ah king-ah Kong
173
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:07,626
King-ah king-ah
king-ah king-ah king-ah king-ah Kong
174
00:07:07,659 --> 00:07:09,762
Let's sing a song
175
00:07:09,795 --> 00:07:11,230
Let's sing
a song
176
00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:13,866
Bad, bad, bad King Kong
177
00:07:13,899 --> 00:07:16,869
Bad, bad,
bad King Kong
178
00:07:16,902 --> 00:07:19,738
Let's sing a song
179
00:07:19,771 --> 00:07:22,074
Let's sing
a song
180
00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:24,844
King-ah king-ah king-ah
king-ah king-ah king-ah Kong
181
00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:27,613
King-ah king-ah
king-ah king-ah king-ah king-ah Kong
182
00:07:27,646 --> 00:07:30,182
Let's sing a song
183
00:07:30,215 --> 00:07:32,150
Let's sing a song...
184
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:35,221
ALF:
Uh, the fuck is this?
185
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:37,089
I know we're not
speaking right now,
186
00:07:37,122 --> 00:07:39,091
but I thought maybe we could
not speak to each other
187
00:07:39,124 --> 00:07:40,860
over a few burgers?
188
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:43,195
I've-I've got to get back
to Courtney, all right?
189
00:07:43,228 --> 00:07:45,264
You said a couple hours.
It's been three.
190
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:47,700
And I just got back
from a business trip,
191
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,536
so she's pissed at me not
answering my calls or my texts.
192
00:07:50,569 --> 00:07:52,238
Well, it sounds like you're
in the doghouse already.
193
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:53,973
What's another 20 minutes?
194
00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:57,275
Plus, Phil Rosenthal put
this burger on his Instagram,
195
00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:59,545
gave it three and
a half plotzes.
196
00:07:59,578 --> 00:08:02,013
All right, fine,
but no talking, all right?
197
00:08:02,047 --> 00:08:05,017
Just noshing.
198
00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:06,285
Maybe a little fressing.
199
00:08:06,318 --> 00:08:08,520
(instrumental
rock music playing)
200
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,722
RONNIE: This place is
kind of the real deal, huh?
201
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,226
ALF: Yeah, it's real
deal something.
202
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:17,096
-Get out.
-What?
203
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,698
Nah, you look like the guy
from the movie Get Out.
204
00:08:19,731 --> 00:08:23,168
I mean, as much as you do, bro.
205
00:08:23,201 --> 00:08:24,837
I mean, that's... What?
206
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:28,941
(Ronnie chuckles)
207
00:08:30,809 --> 00:08:34,780
You, uh... you're going
on business trips now.
208
00:08:34,813 --> 00:08:37,049
Yup.
209
00:08:37,082 --> 00:08:39,652
And you're living
with your girl.
210
00:08:39,684 --> 00:08:42,554
Yup. Everything's good.
211
00:08:42,587 --> 00:08:44,290
And the baby.
212
00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:46,257
Yup, baby's good.
213
00:08:46,291 --> 00:08:47,760
Name?
214
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,662
Yup. The baby has a name.
215
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:50,963
Jesus Christ, man.
216
00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:53,899
It's Jasmine.
217
00:08:53,932 --> 00:08:56,702
That's adorable, man.
Good for you.
218
00:08:56,735 --> 00:08:58,671
Thank you.
219
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,171
Is it as hellish
as everyone says?
220
00:09:00,205 --> 00:09:02,308
You know, 'cause I couldn't
give up my freedom, and I know
221
00:09:02,341 --> 00:09:04,343
Daddy over here needs
his 13 hours,
222
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:06,345
or he's a real Oscar the Grouch.
223
00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:09,081
Actually, I love
everything about it.
224
00:09:09,114 --> 00:09:11,584
You know what I mean? You make
it sound like it's a jail,
225
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:13,586
when, really, it's
the most profound experience
226
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,087
a human being can go through.
227
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,689
Selflessness.
228
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,357
You should look into it, dawg.
229
00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:20,826
I didn't...
230
00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:24,597
mean to equate parenting
to going to jail.
231
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,231
As someone who has been
to jail--
232
00:09:26,264 --> 00:09:27,866
Okay, we get it.
233
00:09:27,899 --> 00:09:30,269
All right? You did me
a solid many years ago.
234
00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:31,937
I'm here, all right?
235
00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:33,606
I'm paying you back.
236
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,975
I'm doing Jacksonville.
237
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:38,044
We're about to be square.
238
00:09:39,411 --> 00:09:42,247
Been to jail yesterday.
239
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,617
I got arrested yesterday.
240
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,185
What?
241
00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:48,988
Aw, man.
242
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:50,322
Brah, what happened?
243
00:09:50,355 --> 00:09:51,757
I, um...
244
00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:54,093
I got busted for selling Oxy.
245
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,795
I'm out on bail.
246
00:09:56,828 --> 00:09:59,064
Whole thing's not great.
247
00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:01,667
But I did flip
like a bitch on Amir,
248
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:03,202
so they think they'll be able
to cut me a good deal.
249
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:04,069
(chuckles) How pissed
were your parents
250
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,670
when they had
to come bail you out?
251
00:10:05,704 --> 00:10:06,738
Oh, they didn't.
252
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,040
They refused.
253
00:10:08,073 --> 00:10:09,241
Yeah, my mom's
still pretty salty
254
00:10:09,274 --> 00:10:10,409
about me ending
her marriage
255
00:10:10,442 --> 00:10:12,177
and the lives of Taffy I and II.
256
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,812
And my dad...
(clicks tongue)
257
00:10:13,845 --> 00:10:15,214
...my dad was the bait
258
00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:16,915
in the sting operation
that brought me down.
259
00:10:16,948 --> 00:10:19,117
(chuckles): Oh, shit. So, wait,
so Shayna bailed you out?
260
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:21,387
(chuckles)
Wrong again, my friend.
261
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:23,955
No, I was using Shayna's
storefront as a drug front.
262
00:10:23,989 --> 00:10:25,658
So I think,
with the whole debacle,
263
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,326
I ended up costing her
about an eight-figure buyout
264
00:10:27,359 --> 00:10:28,727
to Yankee Candle.
265
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,229
Ooh!
(chuckles)
266
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:32,131
I mean, that's
a Yankee Candle Doodle Dandy.
267
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:33,799
(both chuckle)
268
00:10:33,832 --> 00:10:35,968
Do you want to hear what
the most unbelievable thing is?
269
00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:38,337
I'm having a hard time believing
any of this, man. (chuckles)
270
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:39,204
Craig bailed me out.
271
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:41,674
What? How is that old
piece of shit?
272
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,942
Well, he's doing this
very ill-advised country look.
273
00:10:43,975 --> 00:10:45,010
-(chuckles): Oh, no.
-He's managing
274
00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:47,713
the Waylon Jennings estate,
I guess. (chuckles)
275
00:10:47,746 --> 00:10:49,247
But, wait, why would
he bail you out?
276
00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:51,083
(chuckles)
277
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,119
Well...
278
00:10:54,152 --> 00:10:56,955
do you remember that napkin
that we both signed?
279
00:10:56,988 --> 00:10:58,223
Mm-hmm.
280
00:10:58,256 --> 00:11:00,159
Apparently,
it was legally binding,
281
00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:03,162
and you and I are the, uh,
282
00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:05,164
co-owners of Lou's hologram.
283
00:11:05,197 --> 00:11:08,100
And Craig wants to take
the hologram out on tour
284
00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:11,303
for this, like, dead rapper
hologram extravaganza
285
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:12,304
or something.
286
00:11:12,337 --> 00:11:13,771
Wow.
287
00:11:13,805 --> 00:11:16,375
Wow, wow, wow.
288
00:11:16,408 --> 00:11:18,844
So that's what this
is all about, huh?
289
00:11:18,877 --> 00:11:20,813
-What?
-You trying to butter me up
290
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,449
so I'll sign away my half
of the rights to the hologram?
291
00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:24,983
But I bet-- I bet you thought
this was gonna be like one
292
00:11:25,016 --> 00:11:26,752
of those classic
road trips, right,
293
00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:28,219
where, like,
we start out as enemies,
294
00:11:28,253 --> 00:11:30,155
then slowly become friends,
295
00:11:30,188 --> 00:11:31,490
and then I sell out Lou?
296
00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:32,991
Let me guess--
297
00:11:33,024 --> 00:11:34,259
the minivan's supposed
to get more
298
00:11:34,292 --> 00:11:35,728
and more fucked up as we go.
299
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:37,129
I would never be that cliché.
300
00:11:37,162 --> 00:11:39,198
And, besides, my mom loves
that minivan.
301
00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:41,333
If it gets even
one scratch on it...
302
00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:43,335
-(exhales) ...she'll kill me.
-Bro, straight out
303
00:11:43,368 --> 00:11:45,370
of the script. That's exactly
what you're supposed to say.
304
00:11:45,403 --> 00:11:46,939
Relax, guy.
305
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,807
I told Craig no.
306
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,275
Obvi.
307
00:11:50,308 --> 00:11:52,478
I mean, you really think
I would do something like that?
308
00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:57,082
Nah, man. I'm sorry.
309
00:11:57,115 --> 00:11:59,785
It's fine. I deserve it.
310
00:11:59,818 --> 00:12:01,987
I've done a lot
of really terrible things.
311
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:04,021
But I'm really working hard
to change.
312
00:12:04,055 --> 00:12:06,891
And I just thought maybe
if you saw me collect the ashes
313
00:12:06,925 --> 00:12:09,495
and clean up one
of my mistakes...
314
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,998
It's cool.
315
00:12:13,031 --> 00:12:14,266
Drinks?
316
00:12:14,299 --> 00:12:15,768
I'm actually fine
with some water,
317
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,303
-actually. Thank you.
-Water, for me. (chuckles)
318
00:12:18,336 --> 00:12:20,372
(chuckles)
319
00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:22,307
I find that I'm--
320
00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:24,042
maybe it's me getting older,
I don't know--
321
00:12:24,075 --> 00:12:26,345
I just don't even think
about having a drink.
322
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,113
You know, honestly, me too.
323
00:12:28,146 --> 00:12:29,848
Courtney and I just, like,
split a glass of white wine,
324
00:12:29,881 --> 00:12:31,315
if we drink at all.
325
00:12:31,349 --> 00:12:33,218
I'm noticing I've lost
some weight in my face.
326
00:12:33,251 --> 00:12:35,454
Yeah, I just find that, like,
waking up early in the morning
327
00:12:35,487 --> 00:12:36,988
is just so much easier.
328
00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:38,390
And I don't even miss it,
you know?
329
00:12:38,423 --> 00:12:40,225
Once you put a sparkling water
in my hand...
330
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:42,494
It's really just
the muscle memory, you know?
331
00:12:42,527 --> 00:12:44,296
-Don't need it
to have a good time. -Mm-hmm.
332
00:12:44,329 --> 00:12:46,564
-I could do one drink though.
-Just one would be fine,
333
00:12:46,598 --> 00:12:48,132
-I think.
-I think one drink is good.
334
00:12:48,166 --> 00:12:49,802
A bottle of red
335
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:51,136
Oh...
336
00:12:51,169 --> 00:12:54,006
A bottle of white
337
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:56,241
It all depends
338
00:12:56,274 --> 00:12:57,543
-Upon your
-Where you're in
339
00:12:57,576 --> 00:13:00,846
Tonight
340
00:13:00,879 --> 00:13:02,881
Things are okay with me
these days
341
00:13:02,914 --> 00:13:05,417
I got a new job,
I got a new office
342
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:07,586
I got a new wife,
I got a new life
343
00:13:07,619 --> 00:13:10,422
And the family's fine
344
00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:12,257
345
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:14,560
Ooh, ooh
346
00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:16,295
347
00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:20,999
Yeah
348
00:13:21,032 --> 00:13:22,568
Brenda and Eddie
had had it already
349
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:25,037
By the summer of '75
350
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,406
From the high to the low
to the end of the show
351
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:30,474
For the rest of their lives
352
00:13:30,508 --> 00:13:32,878
Nobody looked any finer
353
00:13:32,911 --> 00:13:35,446
Or was more of a hit
at the Parkway Diner
354
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,317
We never knew we could want
more than that out of life
355
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,219
-Oh...
-Surely
356
00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:43,287
Brenda and Eddie would
always know how to survive
357
00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:45,324
(piano solo)
358
00:13:53,598 --> 00:13:56,034
That's all I heard
about Brenda and Eddie
359
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:58,270
Can't tell you more
'cause I told you already
360
00:13:58,303 --> 00:14:01,607
Here we are waving at Brenda
and Eddie good-bye
361
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,042
Oh-oh, oh-oh
362
00:14:04,075 --> 00:14:06,645
Oh-oh...
363
00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:09,448
Sing that song
one more fucking time!
364
00:14:10,682 --> 00:14:12,651
That guy just went full nuclear.
365
00:14:12,684 --> 00:14:14,453
I mean, this is America.
366
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:17,189
Yeah. Like, you don't just...
pull out a gun
367
00:14:17,222 --> 00:14:18,656
in place of saying "please."
368
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,525
(phone buzzing)
369
00:14:20,558 --> 00:14:22,661
You're blowing up, kid.
370
00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:24,663
Are you gonna get that?
371
00:14:24,696 --> 00:14:26,131
You know, you can.
I won't bother you.
372
00:14:26,164 --> 00:14:29,300
Nah. You know, it...
(clicks tongue)
373
00:14:29,334 --> 00:14:31,435
...it's just gonna be,
like, a huge thing.
374
00:14:31,469 --> 00:14:33,238
We're having, like,
a good time, you know?
375
00:14:33,271 --> 00:14:35,339
Like, listen, I'll call her back
later or whatever.
376
00:14:35,373 --> 00:14:38,110
I mean, it's kind of
a classic night.
377
00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:39,912
Yeah.
378
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,213
All right.
379
00:14:41,246 --> 00:14:42,547
So...
(clears throat)
380
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:44,082
...let's get this
show on the road.
381
00:14:44,115 --> 00:14:45,918
Look out.
382
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:47,352
Oh, shit.
383
00:14:47,385 --> 00:14:49,154
You really don't drink anymore.
384
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:53,925
Here we go.
385
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:14,613
Buddy, man, you're doing
a real number on somebody's car.
386
00:15:18,216 --> 00:15:20,519
I mean, in my defense,
387
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:23,689
does this not look
the exact same as my mom's car?
388
00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:25,324
It is uncanny.
389
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:26,558
I don't think I can drive.
390
00:15:26,591 --> 00:15:28,660
Shit, I know I can't.
(chuckles)
391
00:15:28,693 --> 00:15:30,462
All right, let's Uber
to a motel or something.
392
00:15:30,495 --> 00:15:31,497
Yeah.
393
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,433
Oh, we should probably
move the car to, like,
394
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:36,001
a non-tow away zone, though.
395
00:15:36,034 --> 00:15:37,736
The bartender didn't seem
to be a fan.
396
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:39,671
Okay.
397
00:15:39,704 --> 00:15:42,107
How 'bout over there?
You think we can make it?
398
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:44,543
ALF: Oh, yeah.
That's 20 feet. Easy.
399
00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:46,478
One of us drives,
one of us guides.
400
00:15:46,511 --> 00:15:48,680
Bingo, buddy. Oop.
401
00:15:48,713 --> 00:15:50,415
-Still locked.
-This one.
402
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:51,750
ALF:
Keep coming.
403
00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:54,219
Just keep com... 'Kay.
404
00:15:54,252 --> 00:15:57,222
Keep coming. Keep coming.
405
00:15:57,255 --> 00:15:59,624
You have tons of room.
406
00:15:59,657 --> 00:16:01,493
I want you
to crank it left, 'kay?
407
00:16:01,526 --> 00:16:03,762
To m-- All the way left, man!
408
00:16:03,795 --> 00:16:05,329
Hello?!
409
00:16:05,363 --> 00:16:06,665
Back. Back.
410
00:16:06,698 --> 00:16:08,467
-Back. Back.
-Back.
411
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,769
BOTH: Back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back, back,
412
00:16:10,802 --> 00:16:13,271
back, back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back, back.
413
00:16:13,304 --> 00:16:15,107
-Back, back, back, back, back.
-Oh, wow! You win.
414
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,609
-You got a real flair
for the guidance aspect. -Mm.
415
00:16:17,642 --> 00:16:20,178
-I'll drive.
-Okay.
416
00:16:20,211 --> 00:16:23,082
-(engine revs)
-Okay! Easy does 'er.
417
00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:27,786
(engine revs)
418
00:16:27,819 --> 00:16:30,756
(Ronnie whooping, laughing)
419
00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:32,189
RONNIE:
Look out! Fuck!
420
00:16:32,223 --> 00:16:33,758
-(man shouts)
-(woman screams)
421
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,461
(tires screech)
422
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,666
Perfect.
423
00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:48,173
Yo. Question.
424
00:16:48,206 --> 00:16:49,474
Yeah.
425
00:16:49,507 --> 00:16:52,377
So, if your whole plan
426
00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:55,280
was to show
that you're a changed dude
427
00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:57,783
by collecting
all the ashes, why not
428
00:16:57,816 --> 00:17:01,787
just collect all the ashes
and then show up at my door?
429
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:04,790
You-you know?
Why waste your Jacksonville,
430
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:07,125
like, making me come with?
431
00:17:07,157 --> 00:17:09,761
Well...
432
00:17:09,794 --> 00:17:13,365
I guess I was kind of hoping
this would happen.
433
00:17:13,397 --> 00:17:14,832
What, we drink 200 shots
434
00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:16,801
and have
a crossing guard competition?
435
00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:18,470
No, that we would hang out.
436
00:17:18,502 --> 00:17:21,138
You know?
Stop hating each other.
437
00:17:21,172 --> 00:17:24,810
It's like you said
with the road trip thing.
438
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,812
Only...
439
00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:30,348
not going so we could sell
our friend's hologram.
440
00:17:30,381 --> 00:17:34,086
So we could be cool
with each other again.
441
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,089
And I kind of think
that's what happened.
442
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:39,625
You know what I mean, my dawg?
443
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,428
My dawg?
444
00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:47,132
-(snores)
-(chuckles)
445
00:17:47,165 --> 00:17:49,568
(sighs)
446
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:54,739
(birds singing)
447
00:17:54,772 --> 00:17:57,275
(groans softly)
448
00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:08,187
Alf?
449
00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,612
(vehicle approaching)
450
00:18:38,349 --> 00:18:40,585
Hey, I thought you left, dude.
451
00:18:40,618 --> 00:18:42,888
Nah, bud. Just grabbing us
a couple coffees.
452
00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:44,590
Hop in.
453
00:18:54,866 --> 00:18:56,635
Did you really think I was
gonna just bail on you
454
00:18:56,668 --> 00:18:58,235
when you were asleep?
455
00:18:58,269 --> 00:19:00,939
No.
456
00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:03,542
I mean...
457
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:06,178
I don't know. No.
458
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,880
No, that's fair. Yeah,
no, you're right.
459
00:19:08,913 --> 00:19:12,350
I mean, I did, after all, bail
on you for the past six months.
460
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:14,786
I should've checked in.
That's my bad, dawg.
461
00:19:14,819 --> 00:19:17,956
It's okay. We're good, G.
462
00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:20,258
And you are not toxic, brah.
463
00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:22,961
Look, I've got us
into plenty of shit myself.
464
00:19:22,994 --> 00:19:25,263
I'm pretty toxic. (laughs)
465
00:19:25,296 --> 00:19:26,665
It's okay.
466
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,266
I'm just glad you're back.
467
00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:29,968
Yeah, totally.
468
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:31,937
I mean, it got awkward there
for a minute.
469
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,638
-Was it a little awkward
between us? -Yeah, right?
470
00:19:33,671 --> 00:19:35,440
Like, we were, like, doing,
like, small talk and shit.
471
00:19:35,473 --> 00:19:37,375
Who were those guys?
I didn't even recognize them.
472
00:19:37,408 --> 00:19:38,909
Ah, we were, like, minutes away
473
00:19:38,943 --> 00:19:41,780
from talking about how small
the apartments are in New York.
474
00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:43,982
But still so expensive.
475
00:19:44,015 --> 00:19:45,550
Well, I mean,
you're paying for the city.
476
00:19:45,583 --> 00:19:46,818
-Oh, and the pizza.
-Yeah.
477
00:19:46,851 --> 00:19:48,587
Which is what I hate about L.A.
478
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:50,354
You know, you can't find a good
slice or a bagel anywhere.
479
00:19:50,388 --> 00:19:51,423
I mean, it's the water,
is what it is.
480
00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:54,592
Which is crazy considering
we freak the fuck out
481
00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:56,261
when it rains
while we're driving.
482
00:19:56,294 --> 00:19:57,429
But we need it.
483
00:19:57,462 --> 00:19:58,730
You know what I don't need?
484
00:19:58,763 --> 00:20:00,799
My waiter at Sugarfish
taking my order
485
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:02,701
like he's auditioning
for "Speechless."
486
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:04,436
Is everybody an actor?
487
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:07,672
Trust me, bro. No Zawa-way
you're gonna make it.
488
00:20:07,705 --> 00:20:09,608
Why don't you just move
back in with your edamama
489
00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:10,942
It's peak TV.
490
00:20:10,975 --> 00:20:13,477
There's so many shows
and so many platforms.
491
00:20:13,511 --> 00:20:15,379
And yet still nothing to watch.
492
00:20:15,413 --> 00:20:19,284
Just because it's a half hour
does not make it a comedy.
493
00:20:19,317 --> 00:20:20,685
And you can't watch the news.
494
00:20:20,718 --> 00:20:22,821
Oh, God! Just when I think
it's at its craziest.
495
00:20:22,854 --> 00:20:24,889
Whoopsie doodle,
he does it again.
496
00:20:24,922 --> 00:20:26,291
That's why they hate us.
497
00:20:26,324 --> 00:20:27,592
You know what I miss?
498
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:29,394
I miss being able
to walk into a store
499
00:20:29,427 --> 00:20:31,362
and actually touch something
before I buy it.
500
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,864
Have you seen this
documentary on Netflix?
501
00:20:32,897 --> 00:20:33,965
You know what
the problem is?
502
00:20:33,998 --> 00:20:37,035
Every kid
gets a trophy nowadays.
503
00:20:37,068 --> 00:20:38,837
(both laugh)
504
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,839
Ugh.
505
00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:42,707
Is that what normal people
sound like?
506
00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:44,743
-I guess. (laughs)
-Ugh.
507
00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:46,444
Fucking lame.
508
00:20:46,477 --> 00:20:48,313
Normals are terrible.
509
00:20:48,346 --> 00:20:50,349
(both laugh)
510
00:20:53,351 --> 00:20:55,254
You were gonna bail on me,
though, right?
511
00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:59,724
Yes, I was.
512
00:20:59,757 --> 00:21:02,360
I woke up to, like, eight
missed calls from Courtney
513
00:21:02,393 --> 00:21:04,863
and, like, 1,000, like,
all-caps text messages,
514
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,665
and that's like...
515
00:21:06,698 --> 00:21:08,733
Bought two cups of coffee
for the long drive home,
516
00:21:08,766 --> 00:21:10,535
and I just...
517
00:21:10,568 --> 00:21:12,470
just couldn't do it, man.
518
00:21:12,503 --> 00:21:14,438
Had to come back for my boy.
519
00:21:14,472 --> 00:21:15,840
(chuckles softly)
520
00:21:15,873 --> 00:21:17,542
Look, man,
there's only one more stop,
521
00:21:17,575 --> 00:21:19,044
and it's back in town anyway.
522
00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:20,945
Why don't I just drop you
at Courtney's
523
00:21:20,978 --> 00:21:22,947
and finish up myself?
524
00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:25,417
And as far
as Jacksonville goes...
525
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,652
we're square.
526
00:21:27,685 --> 00:21:30,522
Nah, dawg. Fuck it. I'm in.
527
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:32,324
Let's go get Lou back.
528
00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:34,993
Besides, I mean, I'm in
such deep shit anyway,
529
00:21:35,026 --> 00:21:36,795
what's another 20
minutes gonna do?
530
00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:38,697
I mean, you can always
just blame it on me.
531
00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:40,031
No, yeah, man. I already did.
532
00:21:40,064 --> 00:21:42,334
She fucking hates
your guts, brah.
533
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:43,802
That's fair.
534
00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:46,738
Oh, you almost got me
535
00:21:46,771 --> 00:21:49,074
Yes, I was starting to dum
536
00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:53,110
Oh, then I remembered...
537
00:21:53,144 --> 00:21:54,979
What? Not that!
Now put gas, bro.
538
00:21:55,012 --> 00:21:56,514
-Which one? Which one?
-Gas!
539
00:21:56,547 --> 00:21:59,417
Was my greatest contender...
540
00:21:59,450 --> 00:22:00,752
(both laugh)
541
00:22:00,785 --> 00:22:02,554
Should we freak out
this white couple?
542
00:22:00,785 --> 00:22:02,554
Yeah.
543
00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:04,556
Throw it all at me
544
00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:07,392
Never, ever, ever gonna stop
till I'm free...
545
00:22:07,425 --> 00:22:08,659
(both laugh)
546
00:22:08,693 --> 00:22:09,894
You can give me all you got
547
00:22:09,927 --> 00:22:13,098
Can throw it all at me
548
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:16,501
Never, ever, ever gonna stop
till I'm free
549
00:22:16,534 --> 00:22:19,371
I'm sticking to my guns
550
00:22:21,005 --> 00:22:23,508
Till my work is done
551
00:22:23,541 --> 00:22:27,713
Yeah, yeah,
I'm sticking to my guns
552
00:22:28,946 --> 00:22:30,881
Till my work is done...
553
00:22:33,484 --> 00:22:34,985
A Jew and a black guy.
554
00:22:35,019 --> 00:22:37,088
(both laugh)
555
00:22:37,121 --> 00:22:41,493
Sticking to my guns
556
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:44,863
Sticking to my guns...
557
00:22:45,930 --> 00:22:47,899
Last one.
558
00:22:47,932 --> 00:22:51,035
Can't believe the minivan
made it all the way here intact.
559
00:22:51,068 --> 00:22:52,971
Hmm. Cue lightning strike.
560
00:22:53,004 --> 00:22:55,072
-Timber.
-(chuckles)
561
00:22:55,106 --> 00:22:58,143
Massive Illinois sinkhole
swallows Honda Odyssey whole.
562
00:23:01,145 --> 00:23:04,182
Maybe nothing bad will
happen on this trip.
563
00:23:04,215 --> 00:23:05,949
Wait a minute.
564
00:23:05,983 --> 00:23:08,453
Isn't this Chevalier's house?
565
00:23:08,486 --> 00:23:10,989
I mean, you said it yourself.
566
00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:13,024
Fans are weird.
567
00:23:17,728 --> 00:23:19,964
Hey, homie G's.
568
00:23:19,997 --> 00:23:22,634
"Join me in the man cave,
won't you?
569
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:25,102
Hehehe.
570
00:23:25,136 --> 00:23:26,838
I hate hehehe.
571
00:23:26,871 --> 00:23:28,807
-We got to stop with hehehe.
-Agreed.
572
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,574
(knocks on door)
573
00:23:30,608 --> 00:23:32,177
-Hey, girl.
-Hey, girl.
574
00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:35,180
Hey, you found it!
Uh, come on, come on in.
575
00:23:35,213 --> 00:23:36,947
What's going on? Have a drink.
576
00:23:36,981 --> 00:23:39,717
No, no, no. Just, uh...
just the ashes.
577
00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:41,152
We're in a bit of a rush.
578
00:23:41,185 --> 00:23:44,489
What... is this place?
579
00:23:44,522 --> 00:23:45,823
It's great, right?
580
00:23:45,857 --> 00:23:48,460
I mean, fully stocked
with top-shelf booze
581
00:23:48,493 --> 00:23:50,160
and decorated top to bottom
582
00:23:50,194 --> 00:23:53,231
with all Lou
official memorabilia.
583
00:23:53,264 --> 00:23:55,466
It's great, it's like, uh,
Planet Hollywood, except better.
584
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,569
(chuckling): If you
can believe that.
585
00:23:57,602 --> 00:23:59,471
So, come on, come on,
come on, one drink.
586
00:23:59,504 --> 00:24:01,872
Uh, nah, man.
Uh, we're good.
587
00:24:01,906 --> 00:24:03,808
Like I said, we got to motor.
588
00:24:03,841 --> 00:24:06,744
Okay, well, um, let me--
let me rephrase, then.
589
00:24:06,777 --> 00:24:09,013
Uh, no drink, no ashes.
590
00:24:09,046 --> 00:24:11,149
I can do one drink.
591
00:24:11,182 --> 00:24:12,784
-It's Europe somewhere, right?
-Yeah, I mean, like,
592
00:24:12,817 --> 00:24:15,019
-you know, I'm not a monster.
-Yeah, nice!
593
00:24:15,052 --> 00:24:16,721
(bottle opens)
594
00:24:16,754 --> 00:24:19,189
So, you're pretty, um...
a major collector, huh?
595
00:24:19,223 --> 00:24:20,692
Yes, sir.
596
00:24:20,725 --> 00:24:21,926
Oh, cool. You even got
597
00:24:21,959 --> 00:24:23,928
a replica albino Burmese
python like Jake.
598
00:24:23,961 --> 00:24:25,230
No, that-that is Jake.
599
00:24:25,263 --> 00:24:26,930
No, it's not Jakey!
Jake The Snake.
600
00:24:26,964 --> 00:24:28,265
The SnakeRoberts.
601
00:24:28,299 --> 00:24:30,969
Oh, hey, buddy. It's Dad. Oh.
602
00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:33,004
-ALF: He looks fit.
-Yeah, he was not cheap.
603
00:24:33,037 --> 00:24:35,206
Had to fly all the way
to the Middle East to get him.
604
00:24:35,239 --> 00:24:37,075
Yeah, some Saudi sheikh
bought him
605
00:24:37,108 --> 00:24:39,077
off of the Deep Web
or something. I don't know.
606
00:24:39,110 --> 00:24:40,277
(chuckles)
607
00:24:40,311 --> 00:24:42,280
Is that a lock of my hair?
608
00:24:42,313 --> 00:24:45,517
Indeedy do, it is.
Got that in a silent auction.
609
00:24:45,550 --> 00:24:47,252
The one that you did
for Lox For Love,
610
00:24:47,285 --> 00:24:50,555
the Jewish deli that donates all
its proceeds to cancer research.
611
00:24:50,588 --> 00:24:51,822
It's cool, huh?
612
00:24:52,890 --> 00:24:54,893
Yes.
613
00:24:54,926 --> 00:24:57,896
Oh, my God. Is that the outfit
Lou was wearing when he died?
614
00:24:57,929 --> 00:24:59,864
Yes, sir. Look at that.
615
00:24:59,897 --> 00:25:02,667
What is this?
616
00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:04,102
Ooh, this--
617
00:25:04,135 --> 00:25:05,303
prize of the collection.
618
00:25:05,336 --> 00:25:06,905
This is the actual tile
619
00:25:06,938 --> 00:25:09,641
that split Lou's skull open.
620
00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:11,843
Damn.
621
00:25:11,876 --> 00:25:13,978
Still some brain splatter
on it and everything.
622
00:25:14,011 --> 00:25:16,681
Yeah, it's in
mint condition.
623
00:25:16,714 --> 00:25:18,917
Ooh, cheers.
624
00:25:18,950 --> 00:25:20,752
Uh, thank you so much.
I think we need to go now.
625
00:25:20,785 --> 00:25:21,653
Yeah, we can take
those ashes, please.
626
00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:22,520
Oh, no, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
627
00:25:22,554 --> 00:25:23,855
I didn't show you
the coolest thing.
628
00:25:23,888 --> 00:25:24,856
-Check this out.
-Oh, shit!
629
00:25:24,889 --> 00:25:26,189
-Oh, fuck.
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
630
00:25:26,223 --> 00:25:27,158
This is the actual gun
631
00:25:27,191 --> 00:25:28,159
that Gilbert Arenas
and Javaris Crittendon
632
00:25:28,192 --> 00:25:31,229
and Lou got into that
Mexican standoff with.
633
00:25:31,262 --> 00:25:33,031
-It's still loaded.
-Fuck. Please.
634
00:25:33,064 --> 00:25:34,332
So, come on.
635
00:25:34,365 --> 00:25:37,536
Can we please get lit?
636
00:25:38,603 --> 00:25:41,039
(whimpers)
637
00:25:41,072 --> 00:25:42,940
Burn that mic one time
when I touch floor
638
00:25:42,974 --> 00:25:45,043
Not really with it,
so I come up...
639
00:25:45,076 --> 00:25:49,047
You know what I hate?
You know what I hate?
640
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,715
What you hate?
641
00:25:50,748 --> 00:25:53,618
What has happened
to Stevie's hair.
642
00:25:53,651 --> 00:25:55,620
I know. I know.
643
00:25:55,653 --> 00:25:57,155
It is a Shonda.
644
00:25:57,188 --> 00:25:59,257
Bud, let's go ahead and
toss a hat on there.
645
00:25:59,290 --> 00:26:01,359
Bro, for real. And no advisor?
646
00:26:01,392 --> 00:26:03,728
-What's the...?
-Nobody's like, "Hey, man."
647
00:26:03,761 --> 00:26:05,964
We need
the Predator-length style
648
00:26:05,997 --> 00:26:07,632
that starts at the top?
649
00:26:07,665 --> 00:26:08,866
At the midhead.
650
00:26:08,899 --> 00:26:10,033
-Midhead, there.
-I mean,
651
00:26:10,067 --> 00:26:11,269
you-you want to... We-we...
652
00:26:11,302 --> 00:26:14,938
You can make
a-an all bad hair team.
653
00:26:14,972 --> 00:26:16,774
Stevie Wonder.
654
00:26:16,807 --> 00:26:18,109
-God, he's got a lot.
-He's running point on that.
655
00:26:18,142 --> 00:26:20,078
He's running point, you know.
656
00:26:20,111 --> 00:26:22,146
Puttin' in the time before
they put me in the earth
657
00:26:22,179 --> 00:26:24,182
This is nothing, I be
racking up bars with a gun
658
00:26:24,215 --> 00:26:28,086
I said the vision 'cause me
razor never cut me with a bat.
659
00:26:28,136 --> 00:26:32,686
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