Original subtitles

screech!

Busted.

Catherine the Great gave birth to a son.

Peter continued to heap abuse on her

because he was suspicious of the child's origin.

No one in the contemporary court really believed the child was his,

but no one really cared, because the empress finally had an heir.

Any questions?

Any confusion?

Any anything?

[upbeat music]

? ?

Professor Jenkins.

Professor Jenkins.

Oh, hello, Steven.

You dropped this.

Thank you.

You look really nice today.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

So when are you coming home this weekend?

I'm not coming.

You're coming.

Julie, l'm not coming.

l just got my car fixed, theoretically,

I have a student who's willing

to go above and beyond the call of duty in getting an A,

and l just can't handle Mother's high drama this weekend.

It's your parents'

45th wedding anniversary.

You're coming.

l-l'm not coming.

l'm not going.

I'm not going.

Yes, you are.

And, Brad?

[sweetly] Happy birthday.

l'm not going.

(Susan) Bumpity bumpity bumpity bump.

God, l loved riding that pony as a kid.

What was it?

1 4 vaginal orgasms

in less than an hour.

Not that Jackson isn't sufficient,

but at first, it was a little touch and go.

Honey, not now.

When Jackson and I first started dating,

he would go down on me.

Afterwards, he'd always get a cold.

l freaked out.

l thought, ''Oh, my God, Jackson is allergic

to pussy. ''

Um,

can I get you some wine?

l don't drink,

unfortunately.

Oh, here.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Bumpity bumpity bumpity bump.

[flamboyantly] Oh, my God.

How can you stand to work with her?

Nine to five, uh-uh.

Excuse me?

But l am glad she set us up,

because you are cute.

l'll be right back.

[muttering] Ooh, I gotta go.

[sighs]

Oh, God.

Ahh.

[toilet flushes]

? La-la, la-la-la-la-la. ?

? La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ?

? La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ?

What do you think?

Some people think I sound like Mandy Patinkin.

I kind of think it's more like Liza.

You know, like a male version?

What do you think, huh?

[deep voice] Hi.

Mount me.

[whispers loudly] l got poppers.

[thunder booming]

[doorbell rings]

Can we go get some coffee?

What?

Thank you.

You look great.

Steven, l have to apologize.

For what?

This, having coffee.

You know l'm 40 years old,

a young 40.

That's why you should meet my dad.

He's gay.

Him and my mom recently divorced.

l mean, l wasn't sure if you were gay,

but l knew you were different.

You didn't think that l was-

Oh, shit; l'm sorry. l didn't-

No, no, not at all.

Your father, me, the same age, common ground.

We probably both owned a pet rock in '7 3.

l'm sorry. l-l didn't-

Listen, l-l should call it a night.

My baby.

Hi, Mom.

Hello, son.

Did you hit any elk along the way?

They escaped from the park. They're goddamn everywhere.

Hey, Dad.

What's with the sunglasses?

Cataract surgery.

Can't take 'em off

till that little shit Bill Dempson tells me l can.

Can't see his hand in front of his face.

That's not true.

That's Louise, dear.

l'm downwind.

Oh, come here and give me a big hug.

Oh, hey, Mrs. Baker,

Mr. Baker.

Listen to him.

Been best friends with your parents since before you were born.

Still he says, ''Mrs. Baker.''

(Doris) Louise, hello.

[laughter]

Well, it's, uh, good to be home.

(Bob) Scotch straight up, right, Charlie?

Please.

(Doris) Bob, come outside.

l'm making a drink.

Nowl

Happy 45th.

Well, look at that.

How's she run, Terry?

Like a charm, Mr. Jenkins.

Good. Let's go back to the bar.

Don't you want to drive it?

After a few drinks.

(man) Brad?

Bill Dempson.

l'll be damned.

How long has it been?

Honey, this is Brad.

We were best friends in high school.

l'm loaded. [laughs]

Hon,

go grab a seat and cross your legs.

Your dad comes to see me.

Who would have ever thought Bill Dempson

would become a doctor?

So are you, but l'm a real one,

an MD.

[chuckles]

Hello, gentlemen.

Julie, you look great.

Having fun yet?

Working on it.

You two did everything in school together,

and she ends up marrying your brother.

How did that happen?

Me and you stopped talking.

You stopped talking to me.

Well, what happened?

Well, l told you l was a fag.

Oh, yeah.

[knocks softly]

What?

Where's Farrah?

l bought that hoping

it would make me straight.

Your nephews.

You are correct, sir.

l'll put them in your wallet.

Hey.

Look at this.

Dwayne Twillis.

He was out in high school.

He died of AIDS in the '80s.

l never even told him l was gay.

Oh, look, Yolanda Smith.

(Brad) Roland Davis,

the most handsome, the most athletic.

Mm, l was always in love with him.

He never even knew l existed.

Secret:

l always wanted Roland Davis

to have taken me to our Blue Jean Ball.

Blue Jean Ball, what a rip.

Every other high school had a prom,

and we had a Blue Jean Ball.

How embarrassing.

And Keith, home from college, had to pick you up

because you were too drunk to drive home.

And he died a year later.

Now, he was the brother you should have married.

He was the special one.

The day l transferred to Lincoln,

met you when l dropped my books,

l knew you were someone special.

Aww.

Have you been drinking?

Tsk.

Goddamn it, Brad.

You promised.

You always bail on your promises.

Shit, relax.

What the hell is wrong with you?

l just turned 40;

l'm gay; l'm still single.

You do the math.

Oh, Christ, when will you wake up and realize some straight-guy Republican

who voted for both Bushes

is never gonna fall in love with you?

When the day comes

and you're attracted to someone

and you let them know it,

not knowing whether they're gonna smile or kick your ass,

then we can spar.

What do you know about my attractions?

What do you know about my being gay,

living in a world where no one

pays attention to you?

Julie, women bitch about construction workers

yelling at them.

Jesus, do you know how nice it would be if just some hard hat would tell me

what a nice ass I had,

which is pretty fucking nice, I might add?

So l can't fix a car,

but l sure as hell don't have to dress up

like Judy Garland either.

You lost me at Judy Garland

fixing a car.

Julie,

I'm always gonna be different.

l just wish that l was normal.

Normal? Fine.

You can have my normal life.

You can have my normal job, my normal husband,

who's having a perfectly normal affair

with his normal fucking secretary.

[door slams]

(Bob) Oh, that's-

Wait a minute; is it my turn?

l got it; l got it right here.

(Louise) Oh, you better not be.

[Bakers laughing]

What?

Show him; show him.

[laughter]

Shit.

Need some help?

No, no, l was just helping clean up.

That's what l'm for.

l saw Mrs. Longworth at the party.

She says Theresa's doing wonderful.

She's in town.

You should go out.

Mom, l'm gay.

How many times do we have to have this conversation?

All right, all right.

No, no, it's not all right.

Do l have to give you a pop quiz every time l come home?

We will not create a scene with company in the house.

We are middle-class white people.

Well.

Well, don't worry, Mom. I'm not gonna bring home any son-in-law.

All the real cowboys are gone; haven't you heard?

What are you talking about?

l'm talking-

l'm saying,

you and Dad raised a great family.

No dysfunction here.

You raised three great boys.

Hey, one of them was taken away from you too soon,

but everybody said Keith and l were just alike.

Keith wasn't that different.

l'm sorry; l didn't mean that.

Hey, no offense taken.

Where are you going?

Someplace where I'm not so goddamn different.

Bob, this dishwasher sucks!

[tires squealing]

Okay, boys.

Line forms to the right.

l need a man who looks fabulous!

[screams]

[tires squealing]

[loud crash]

[crickets chirping]

Oh, crap. l got a limp wrist.

Just what I need- some Blair Witch shit.

[people talking indistinctly]

(Halbert) Well, once you put that word down,

you completely messed me up.

That's all l know.

(Louise) What happened-what?

Nobody cared.

It made me sad.

[voices fade]

[groans]

(Halbert) Oh, no, no, now, you all pay attention.

Watch this one; l think l got it.

(Doris) Let's see.

What you got? What you got?

There, see, I told you I got it.

(Doris) ''Straight. ''

[laughter]

You better not be.

[laughter]

(Halbert) That was a good one.

Good stuff.

[alarm buzzing]

[groans]

[gasping]

Moml

Mom.

Mom!

Morning, dear.

Mom, you're so young.

You're sweet.

You better get dressed, or you'll be late for school.

School?

That's right; it's time to go to school.

[surprised] Louise!

Ah, listen to him, ''Louise.''

Mother Baker, hello?

l'll be in meetings all day,

but l shouldn't be late for supper.

l hope not.

Oh, you're such a hoper.

[gasps]

[Bob knocking] Morning.

Oh, look, there's your dad and Daddy Baker.

Now, what would they want so early in the morning?

Looks like we have something outside.

(Bob) Happy senior year.

[chuckles]

l wrecked my car.

Wrecked your car?

Well, that's impossible; you just got it.

(Louise) And here it is,

just like you always wanted.

(Halbert) Look at him.

He's so happy, he can't even talk.

(Bob) Let's take that boy in for some cake.

(Louise) Cake this early?

(Halbert) Hey, why not?

(man) Hey, step out of that car. Let me see your ass.

screech!

Holy shit.

[people talking indistinctly]

What are you doing?

Bill?

Bill, guys are with guys.

Girls are with girls.

So?

We're old enough to date.

Yeah, but they're with each other like they're couples.

Boy, did your parents bail on you.

Leave it to me to fill in the blanks.

Guys like guys; girls like girls.

Get it?

How do we produce?

You're serious, aren't you?

Your parental partner.

Parental partner?

The woman you decide to have children with,

your female best friend.

Parental partner, right.

Are we together?

We're practically brothers.

That would be like incest or something, yuck.

Holy shit.

Brad.

Brad.

Are you all right?

[wearily] Yeah, l think so.

Thank you.

Brad,

Brad Jenkins.

Am l?

Hi, Roland.

You look really nice today.

Holy shit.

(coach) People, people, people,

come on, come on.

Find your opposite partner

and take your showers.

You got five minutes till the next bell.

Roland Davis thought you looked nice today.

Wow.

What's the matter?

Jenkins!

Get your ass

into shower seven.

And quit flirtin'.

[woman singing indistinctly]

? ?

Yolanda Smith.

Brad Jenkins?

thudl Oohl

Are you okay?

[admonishingly] Brad Jenkins.

Yes.

You're home.

Yes.

Why?

l live here?

lt's Thursday night.

You're supposed to be

at your father's and Daddy Baker's tonight.

Now, hop over there before dinner starts.

Your father thinks I mother you enough

as it is.

(Louise) Ooh, that chicken looks good,

and so do these thighs.

slapl

[Doris laughing] Stop, I'm cooking.

Son, what's wrong?

Where's my room?

Upstairs.

(Halbert) Well, you are going to eat it and like it.

l don't want to hear any complaints. l've had a long day.

l'm not going to eat and like iceberg lettuce.

lt's romaine lettuce, by the way.

And you could have used real cheese.

l don't want to even hear it; now, look-

This cheese has never seen the inside of a cow.

Well, why don't you just

wash it down with a nice can of Billy Beer?

Could feed it to the dog.

What's wrong?

My room is exactly the same way as it is across the street.

That's how you wanted it.

Did something happen at school?

Sam?

Sam? Sam.

Oh, Sam.

lt's okay, Brad. lt's just Sam.

l haven't seen him since we had him put to sleep.

Sam hasn't been put to sleep; he's fine.

He's just waiting for you to come home from school like always.

What's happening to me, Sam?

What the fuck is going on?

[knock at door]

(Bob) Can I come in?

l'm getting old.

l spoke with your mother tonight.

She thinks something might be wrong.

l think l know what it is-

upset about Sam, other things.

You're growing up.

Soon you're gonna meet somebody.

You'll settle down with him.

You'll have children with someone as wonderful as your mother.

You'll all have wonderful children and be happy.

Dad, this is so odd.

Well, it might sound silly to you.

l'm sure you know all this stuff already,

but it's important that you hear it from me.

Dad.

Yes, son?

I like guys.

l've always wanted

to tell you that.

Chip off the old block.

(Terry) You wrecked your car?

Not that car, my other car.

You don't have another car.

What were you doing at Overlook Ridge?

That's where straight people

go and. . .you know.

l can't tell you that.

You wouldn't believe me.

I don't believe me.

Let's just go to Overlook Ridge, and l'll show you the car.

Why me?

Because you've always

helped my family.

And because you own a tow truck.

Come on, Brad.

l know it was here.

lt's somewhere around here.

You got to believe me.

lt's the city.

They probably, uh, brought the car back to the city lot.

But l'm not gonna do anything until you tell me what this is all about.

Come on, Brad.

You don't need to lie like this.

Are you a bed wetter?

l didn't wet my car.

l wrecked my car.

Listen, l don't have time

to be taken away from work for some kind of practical joke.

You're a good kid.

You don't need to do this for attention.

That's just it. l'm not a kid.

l'm 40 years old, a young 40.

Look at me; don't l act it?

l pay bills now.

l get great retirement benefits.

l took a real aggressive package.

l could have early retirement at 55 if l wanted to.

Listen, l'm taking you back.

Let's go.

l know it sounds crazy, Terry, but l'm not.

You gotta believe me, Terry. You just gotta.

This is it.

This is my car.

It's junk.

Yeah, but they didn't make cars like these back in the '7 0s.

Could be a demo.

[techno music plays] Terry,

now do you believe me?

? ?

l can't believe anybody would listen to that shit.

What if they listened to it on this?

Where's the needle?

They're digital.

lt's read by binary code, bitmaps, something like that.

Jesus.

l hate to sound like Michael J. Fox,

but l'm from the future.

lt's not me, Terry.

lt's me.

Who's Michael J. Fox?

[hydraulics whirring]

lf you can get it running, l think l can get back home.

lt doesn't make any sense,

but it makes no sense me being here in the first place.

So let me get this straight.

ln your world, men like being with women?

That's what they say, until they drink a six-pack.

So if l fix it, then what?

We'll take it back to Overlook Ridge and see if it works.

lf it doesn't, l'll just wait another 20 years

to get back on the internet.

But if your world is the way you say it is,

why would you want to go back?

lt's where l belong.

(Mr. Thompson) The French Revolution began in 1 7 99.

lt changed the course of the country's history,

which still affects it today.

Danton and Robespierre dominated the new government,

Robespierre gradually gaining over Danton-

Um.

Yes, Brad.

l think you're confusing the dates.

You think so?

Actually, l know so.

You're confusing it with the fall of Robespierre.

The Revolution itself began in 1 7 93.

At least, that was the beginning

of the flight of the emigres

and the resurrection of the lampposts.

You know, Mr. Jenkins,

l haven't always been just a high school teacher.

l was a professor before l came here,

and do you know where?

Gilligan's Island?

You have an attitude problem, young man.

Now, l'm going to have to call your parents.

You know that, don't you?

Yes, sir.

Good, then.

That's what l want to hear.

Now, what you need is some more school spirit

and some more class involvement.

I noticed you didn't sign up to take anybody to the Blue Jean Ball.

Now, l am sure there is some young man just waiting to ask you,

or you ask him.

Roland, how's our all-American, huh?

Hi.

Hi, Roland.

(Fock) Now, about that basketball scholarship.

I think you should consider all three. . .

Brad, can you show our new transfer student to room 24?

This is- Juliel

You know my name.

You are correct, sir.

So what's this school like?

Oh, a waste of time.

God, l can't get over how young you look.

l am a senior.

So what are the girls like?

l don't know.

l guess not; you're a guy.

Oh, here it is, room 422.

So- Thanks for the tour.

You should have seen the look

on Mr. Thompson's face when you took him down.

Yeah, real mature on my part.

Hi, Brad.

Hi, Roland.

Hope you didn't get in trouble

with Mr. Fock.

Nah, great guy.

[all laugh]

See ya.

Look at you.

You've got the best-looking guy talking to you,

and you're smart.

Fuck you, breeder.

That's Dwayne Twillis.

Fucking hole puncher.

What?

You know, a breeder, straight.

He likes girls so much, he even acts like one.

God, it makes me sick.

This Janis lan album is the coolest.

That is so straight.

(Brad) You dropped your milk.

Listen, I just-

Busted.

(Bob) Brad, is that you?

You're home.

l'm at Mom's tonight?

l'm going right now.

No, you've got company.

Roland came by to see you.

Roland's been telling us about his plans

to play for the NB A.

l was just wondering

if you'd like to go out with me for some ice cream.

Go on.

We're at your Mom's tonight- every goddamned night-

playing Scrabble.

Okay.

Can l change real quick?

Sure.

(Brad) He was all alone.

He was just sitting at the end of the bar.

God, I was so nervous being in that place.

Something made me go up and talk to him.

l just went up and asked if l could sit at his table.

He stood up just like the perfect gentleman.

He was 34.

34?

Yeah, divorced with two kids.

Jeez.

Well, we decided to try it.

l don't know;

l thought it was my last chance to finally have a family.

lt didn't end very well.

lt was too much for him. lt was too much for me.

The moral of the story is,

don't get in a one-night stand that ends up lasting two years.

l like you.

You're different than all the other guys.

[whistle]

(Terry) It runs.

Overlook Ridge, tomorrow night.

Excuse me.

[bell clanging]

l don't want to do it.

Why?

l don't know; l just don't want to do it.

What about your life?

Where you belong?

Your retirement benefits?

l'm having fun here.

Why do you want to take that away from me?

lt wasn't my decision.

Shit.

Shit, all right.

Okay.

1 1 :00 tomorrow night.

Don't tell your parents.

Yeah.

[engine turns]

What's happening at Overlook Ridge?

Nothing.

Uh, we're test-driving a car.

Guess you like older guys.

No.

Oh, God, no.

You don't know.

You asking me out for ice cream

is something l've always dreamed.

lt happened exactly how l'd hoped.

But it just can't happen again.

lt's just not in the cards.

Why?

Because you wouldn't like older guys.

(Bob) Had a friend who went to Jordan, and they-

(Halbert) How would you spell ''fezzes''?

(Louise) Uh, I think it's double Zs.

What you getting, hon?

l came to say good-bye.

Going back out?

You and Roland

have a good time.

I'm real proud of you.

Is it- what's the blank?

What?

(Louise) Lover.

You be a good boy.

(Bob) Liver?

(Halbert) You just messed up my word.

Now I don't have a word to use.

Ooh, sweetie.

l, uh, wanted to tell you all l think what you got going here

really works.

l love you all very much.

We love you too, hon.

(Bob) How do you spell ''fezzes''?

(Louise) Uh, two Zs.

(Doris) Double Z.

(Bob) With two Zs.

(Louise) It's Arabic anyway.

[hydraulics whirring]

l say l got about a half-mile stretch down the road is where it happened.

What do you plan to do?

lt worked for Michael J. Fox. lt can work for me.

Who's this guy from the South?

[engine turns]

Ramming speed.

You're going to crash this car?

Are you crazy?

Right where l crashed it before.

l have to.

Don't do this.

l don't have a choice.

I don't belong here.

l got to get home and grade papers.

[engine revving]

Don't always work so hard, Terry.

Have some fun sometimes.

[engine revving]

l'm not gonna let you do this.

Being around all straight people has really fucked you up.

What are you doing?

l'm putting this damn thing in neutral.

That's not neutrall

lt's first gear!

[Terry screams]

[tires squealing]

[loud crash]

[groaning]

What's up?

Are you crazy? You could have gotten yourself killed.

What are you doing here?

l followed you.

Why?

Because-

because l like older guys.

Oh, what the fuck am l doing?

l'm never leaving this place,

ever.

[upbeat music]

(man) ? Oh, yeah. ?

This is great.

(man) ? For every day of my life filled with hurt and pain, ?

? l would trade for one night in the pouring rain with you. ?

? ?

? l was falling apart, coming out at the seams, ?

? but l know in my heart this isn't a dream. ?

? lt's true. ?

? This is the day. ?

? Now is the time. ?

? l've waited for you all of my life. ?

? Now it's all clear. ?

? l found my way ?

? into your arms and out of the gray. ?

? This is the day. ?

? ?

? Oh, yeah. ?

? ?

? For the rest of my life, l'll say good-bye to my fears, ?

? bury the past, and cherish the years with you. ?

? Oh, this is the day. ?

? Now is the time. ?

? l've waited for you all of my life. ?

[clears throat]

(man) ? Now it's all clear. ?

? l found my way. . . ?

Sorry, got to go teach.

(man) ? And out of the gray. ?

? This is the day. ?

? Now is the time. ?

? l've waited for you all of my life. ?

? Now it's all clear. ?

? l found my way ?

? into your arms and out of the gray. ?

? This is the day. ?

? This is the day. ?

? This is the day. ?

Shh.

(man) ? This is the day. ?

Stop it; you're gonna get us kicked out.

Forget that.

What?

Let's just go.

Where?

Here.

Wildcat Hills.

Wildcat Hills?

lt's only six hours away.

The best place to hike ever.

Let's go and get married.

Beg your pardon?

Marry me.

Okay.

Really?

Let's go.

Get your ass to the gym.

What do you think you are, a basketball player or a cheerleader?

Promise me we'll go someday.

Promise me

we'll backpack Wildcat Hills.

l promise.

My brother's a jerk,

but l know he thinks the world of you.

What?

God, Julie, if you only knew.

l'm normal now.

What's your name?

Brad.

Brad?

You're freaking me out.

l have no idea what you're talking about.

l can pick up my own books, thank you.

(all) Ready? Okay.

We are the mighty Lincoln team.

We're gonna rock you to a mighty victory.

We go. . .

[rhythmic clapping]

Julie Erwin.

She's good.

Forget good.

Think l'm in love.

Woof.

(all) Whoo.

(woman) Okay, thanks for coming, guys.

Basically, what we're going to be doing is,

learning another cheer.

You can't be serious.

Good luck.

Wait a minute.

I'm not lighting this thing.

Listen, Marine, we got a mission,

and we're going through with it.

We start with two claps like this.

V-l-C-T-O-R-Y.

Victory, victory, is our cry.

that sounded great.

Okay?

[fireworks exploding] [girls screaming]

All right, we're gonna run a 22-niner.

You guys run flies; you guys run post.

Ready? Break.

Oh, shit.

[people chatting]

[all screaming]

Ooh, shit.

l'm sorry.

Watch it.

l didn't see you.

Oh, unlike today?

When you napalmed us?

Boys.

Hey, what's with you?

l don't know. What's with you?

Why do you want to talk to me all the time?

History.

Oh, l know.

l'm onto you.

What?

You want me as a parental partner, don't you?

Having kids together?

l'm not having kids.

Oh.

My congratulations on saving our planet.

(Roland) Hey.

You should check out the game.

l'm winning.

Shit, Roland.

l'm not in heat.

[people talking and laughing]

So did you make the team?

Yeah,

no thanks to you.

So how come you don't want to have children?

l don't know.

Afraid they'll turn out like me.

What's wrong with you?

Can't fix a car.

Well, l'm gonna have kids,

two beautiful girls.

What if they're boys?

Uh-uh, l'm gonna have girls.

Girls, right.

Brad.

lt's my boyfriend.

l gotta go.

l'm normal now.

(Julie) Hey.

What are you doing here?

Where's Yolanda?

They changed opposite partners.

Don't you ever read the sign-up sheets?

Listen, I want to apologize about the other night.

Did you hear me?

I said I'm sorry.

Could you turn around, please?

What?

Could you turn around, please?

No problem.

(all) We are the mighty Lincoln team.

We're gonna rock you to a mighty victory.

lt goes. . .

[rhythmic clapping]

The game's over.

Why are you still here?

l'm waiting for Roland.

Coming to the party?

Not sure.

l'll talk to you later.

God, if only l could date a jock.

[cheering]

Good job; that was really great.

Um, l'll see you tomorrow, okay?

Good job.

[sighs]

God, l need a joint.

Good plan.

Afterwards, you want to have sex?

[laughs] Hell, yeah.

So when you dropped your books the first day that we met,

what did you mean by l was special?

Have you always been in love with me?

ls that why you married my brother,

the next best thing?

Come on, come on, come on.

Let's get going here, people.

Come on, come on, come on.

l got your note.

What are you doing?

Somebody could see us.

So what?

Nobody cares.

Only straight people come here.

No.

You were terrific.

Let's do it again.

No.

We can't.

lt's not right.

l was just experimenting.

l'm not an experiment.

l want to be your boyfriend.

You're nuts.

That's great.

That's my new nickname, Planters.

So what do we do?

Where do we go?

Hide and sneak every time we want to meet?

We can't go anywhere or do anything

without somebody seeing us.

How's it going?

Fine.

What's up?

Nothing.

Nice day.

What do you want?

Nothing, man.

We just wanted to go somewhere.

You know, like a bar.

We thought you might know some places.

l-l don't know what you're talking about.

l think you do.

[funky instrumental music]

? ?

Two Cokes, please.

What?

l got to work early in the morning.

This is a trip.

Come on, let's dance.

Jesus.

[grunting]

(man) Fucking breeders.

(man) Hole-punching prick.

Get off him!

[Dwayne coughing]

[softly] Oh, shit.

Shit, come on.

l got you.

Come on.

We got to get him back inside.

l got ya. Come on, buddy.

Here, put your arm up.

Breeder.

ls it true?

lt's not that simple.

You promised me.

Getting married, Wildcat Hills.

How could you embarrass me like this?

l have a game tomorrow night.

Oh, what the fuck else can go wrong?

l feel like a freak.

Julie-

Leave me alone.

Haven't you done enough?

[sighs]

Something wrong?

l talked to Roland's mother this morning.

She told me some pretty disturbing things.

Really? Like what?

l can't get this stain out.

I don't know why you always make such a mess.

Her name is Julie.

l don't want to know

anything about her.

Her name is Julie, and l love her.

That's disgustingl

How can you say that?

How can you even think that?

There's nothing for me

to be ashamed of.

It's wrong.

That's crazy.

Tell that to the neighbors.

Tell that to your father.

Oh, yeah,

the guy who you had sex with to have me.

It's not the same.

lt's love, but not like that.

I could never be with someone

of the opposite sex in that way.

Good for you, but l can.

lt's a sin.

Then l go to hell, but guess what.

You don't.

Mom.

Mom, look at me.

Look at me.

Mama, l'm alone.

l got stuck with this life l didn't want.

l don't know whether l chose it or it chose me.

You're just 1 8 years old.

What are you talking about?

l'm back, Mom.

l've come back trying to make things right.

lf God had wanted man and a woman to be together,

he would have made women like football.

Pretty good.

So what's next?

You graduate in a couple of weeks.

What are you gonna do?

l don't know. Head for California.

Start Microsoft.

Hmm, come on.

What's your big wish?

What's the number one thing you've always wanted to do,

which is a secret?

Secret?

What?

Nah, forget it.

Hey, well, congratulations.

You fixed a car.

By the way, found this in your backseat.

You know, maybe it's not such a good idea

to play Captain Kirk at your age.

[tap at window]

[tapping]

What are you doing?

l've come to ask you something.

You can't climb up my house and come in my room.

Julie, will you go to the ball with me?

l can't.

You're a boy.

You can do anything you want to do.

No, l don't want to be like this.

l feel so different.

There's something wrong with me.

Julie, hey.

The minute you accept that you're different

is the moment you become normal.

Julie.

Here.

Oh, they're beautiful.

They're the most beautiful boys l've ever seen.

They're your children, Julie.

[sobbing]

l've never met anyone with more love or more understanding

to give than you.

What are you?

Just a normal guy.

Where the hell are you two going?

To the ball.

And if you don't get out of our way,

l'm gonna fuck you up.

You were my friend.

Now you make me sick.

Then take some Pepto-Bismol.

(Thompson) Is there a problem here?

They want to come to the ball

as a couple.

Well, then get out of their way

and let them come in.

You can't do that.

l'm the teacher.

I can do whatever the hell I want.

Thanks, Professor.

[jangly rock music]

? ?

You better remember this.

[sarcastically] What, the Blue Jean Ball?

No, coming here with me.

l am so nervous.

You're nervous?

May l have this dance?

l get to lead.

Not on my clock.

We'll have none of that.

What are you doing?

[music stops abruptly]

Now, we can't keep your kind out,

but l can certainly keep you from doing something as disgusting

as what you're doing.

What are we doing?

What you're doing

is vulgar.

And if you think we're gonna sit around

and be forced to watch such a disgusting spectacle,

well, you can just think again.

No, he can't make us stop.

Yes, he can.

But it doesn't matter.

There's a nice tree outside we can dance under.

Come on.

No, l want to dance at my ball.

Julie.

We can spar later.

(Fock) You better listen to him, young lady.

You're not welcome.

None of us here wants you or your kind around.

[jangly rock music]

? ?

Would you like to have this dance with me?

Hell, yeah.

Roland.

[admonishingly] Roland, what are you-

Roland.

Roland, you stop this this instant.

Roland, you are an all-American.

l've been waiting 20 years to ask you this.

May l have this dance?

Oh, l beg your pardon.

Nancy.

[whispers loudly] Stop it.

Eww!

l've got something to show you.

There it is.

Brought it here just like you told me to.

What is it?

lt's a magic carpet.

lt can take us anywhere we want to go.

[grunts]

[Julie screams]

Helpl Helpl

You freak.

Somebody help me!

(Bill) Fucking breeder.

(Julie) hurry upl

(Bill) Hole puncher.

You fucking freak.

[groans]

You're never gonna hurt me again.

l'm gonna fucking kill you.

Bill,

shut up.

Nobody's even listening to you.

l'm straight.

l like women.

There's nothing you can say or do

that's ever gonna change that.

And there's nothing l would do

to ever change that.

Brad?

What's wrong?

lt's my brother Keith.

l've come to take you home, sport.

Oh.

I wanted you as a friend

and got you as a girlfriend.

l wanted you as a boyfriend. . .

then got you as a friend.

Seems I spent my whole life always wanting.

And what l want

isn't necessarily what I need.

l need to go home.

Shotgun.

[engine turns]

Can somebody take me home?

[buzzing]

l'll have a Nutter Butter peanut butter sandwich cookie.

l'll get the doctor.

[loud thud]

Oh, shit.

lt's okay, Brad.

You're gonna be fine.

You're going to be okay, dear.

l love you so much.

l love you too, Mom.

[woman over P.A. system] Martha, you have a call on 4-9-5-3-5.

(Julie) All right, sit.

Sleep; no more Wizard of Oz dreams.

Mine make Dorothy's look like the Golf Channel.

Well, there's no place like home.

l got to go.

So soon?

Well, once l get the kids settled at Mom's

and talk with your brother, l'll be back.

What's gonna happen?

l don't know.

He'll have to make a decision, l'll have to make a decision,

and we'll take it from there.

Tell him you're a lesbian. That always turns him on.

[huffs]

Tell me again how great sex with me in the shower was.

Like being with 'NS YNC, the Backstreet Boys,

and Ricky Martin all rolled into one.

Thank you for taking me to my Blue Jean Ball.

l got to go.

[man on television] And welcome back to Hard News with your host, Timothy Lane.

Tonight: Homosexuals- should they have rights,

and, if so, what kind?

Reverend Wilbur Dent,

head of Christians Against Anyone

and Dwayne Twillis, director of Queers in Your Face,

based out of San Francisco, California.

Reverend, as we were

what kind, if any?

(Dent) These people are sick

and should be without rights.

We need to blow 'em up!

What's next, the final solution?

Nuke 'em all?

l'm gay.

There's nothing you're gonna ever do to change that,

so kiss my faggot ass.

(Dent) God will not honor this method.

[both arguing]

(Lane) Gentlemen, gentlemen,

we're going to have to ask you to speak one at a time.

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen-Reverend.

Multiply and replenish the earth.

Reverend, we're going to have to-

Reverend, we're going to have to ask you to be quiet,

or we're going to have to cut you off.

That is not the way of God.

(Lane) Reverend, we're going to have to-

[flamboyantly] Oh, shut up, you frickin' breeder.

[deeper voice] We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

You're watching Hard News.

[doorbell rings]

Julie, you're not gonna believe-

Sam?

Sam!

Oh, my God.

lt is you.

Hi, buddy.

Oh, it's so good to see you, yes.

lt really did happen, didn't it, buddy?

Oh, yeah, mm.

[laughs]

(girl) Hey, mister,

can l please have my dog back?

(man) Professor Jenkins?

Steven, tracking me all this way.

My God,

you got an A.

l'm backpacking.

l can see.

Did you go on sabbatical?

It's like you just disappeared.

(man) Damn, Steven, I wanted to hike, not race.

Professor Jenkins, this is my dad.

Roland.

Brad?

My God, it is you.

lt's been a long time.

Yes, it has.

Are you Steven's professor?

ls this who you were talking about?

l can't believe you're here.

A promise is a promise.