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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:02,243 --> 00:00:05,833
[ominous orchestral music]
3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
4
00:00:22,229 --> 00:00:25,922
[dramatic orchestral music]
5
00:00:51,534 --> 00:00:54,675
[children chattering]
6
00:00:57,712 --> 00:01:00,646
- Gettin' back on the dating
horse tonight, Theodore.
7
00:01:00,646 --> 00:01:02,096
- You look great, dad.
8
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:02,959
- Thanks, Son.
9
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,997
- You, ah, sure you
wanna wear that, though?
10
00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,967
[Frank sighing]
[atmospheric piano music]
11
00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:13,073
- [Frank] Yeah, probably not.
12
00:01:16,317 --> 00:01:17,939
Force of habit.
13
00:01:17,939 --> 00:01:19,838
- Why don't you ever go back?
14
00:01:19,838 --> 00:01:22,772
[badge clinks on dresser]
15
00:01:22,772 --> 00:01:23,600
- Maybe,
16
00:01:24,981 --> 00:01:25,809
one day.
17
00:01:29,537 --> 00:01:30,745
[Frank sighing]
18
00:01:30,745 --> 00:01:32,678
Well, hey, help me
finish getting ready.
19
00:01:33,645 --> 00:01:34,473
Where's my tie?
20
00:01:40,445 --> 00:01:44,345
[atmospheric orchestral music]
21
00:01:53,665 --> 00:01:55,632
Her name's Eleanor.
22
00:01:55,632 --> 00:01:56,599
I should have known.
23
00:01:57,979 --> 00:01:59,740
- It's nice to meet you, Frank.
24
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:05,263
- Dad, doesn't the guy
usually pick up the girl?
25
00:02:05,263 --> 00:02:08,507
- [chuckling] Welcome to
the 21st Century, Son.
26
00:02:11,476 --> 00:02:15,135
Go finish your homework.
[chuckles nervously]
27
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,102
Ah, alright, Betsy.
28
00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:18,207
[keys jangling]
29
00:02:18,207 --> 00:02:20,795
Make sure Theo
finishes his homework.
30
00:02:20,795 --> 00:02:22,038
[Betsy chuckles]
31
00:02:22,038 --> 00:02:23,488
No junk food and in
bed by 8:30, okay?
32
00:02:23,488 --> 00:02:24,627
- Yes, Mr. Roosevelt.
33
00:02:24,627 --> 00:02:25,455
Will you be late?
34
00:02:25,455 --> 00:02:27,388
- Ah, no, not too late.
35
00:02:27,388 --> 00:02:29,804
10? Well, it has been awhile.
36
00:02:34,223 --> 00:02:36,708
Maybe like 10:15ish?
37
00:02:38,261 --> 00:02:40,090
[sighing] Hey, buddy, come here.
38
00:02:41,299 --> 00:02:42,300
Give me hug.
39
00:02:44,578 --> 00:02:47,615
Hey, hey, hey, make sure
you listen to Betsy, okay?
40
00:02:47,615 --> 00:02:49,238
Stay out of trouble, alright?
41
00:02:49,238 --> 00:02:51,343
- Gotcha, Dad.
[Frank clicking cheek]
42
00:02:51,343 --> 00:02:54,208
[atmospheric orchestral music]
43
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,797
[Frank coughing]
44
00:02:56,797 --> 00:02:58,108
- Oh.
45
00:02:58,108 --> 00:02:58,902
Oh, God.
46
00:03:00,421 --> 00:03:02,561
[Frank gasping]
47
00:03:02,561 --> 00:03:05,219
[Frank sighing]
48
00:03:06,703 --> 00:03:09,706
[crickets chirping]
49
00:03:10,604 --> 00:03:12,916
- [Betsy] Mkay, goodnight, punk.
50
00:03:12,916 --> 00:03:14,780
- [Theodore] Goodnight, Betsy.
51
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:15,988
Oh, wait.
52
00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:17,197
- Yeah?
53
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,958
- Could you leave the
door open a crack?
54
00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:21,235
- Sure.
55
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,236
- [Theodore] Thanks.
56
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,237
Betsy?
57
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,756
- Mm-hmm?
58
00:03:24,756 --> 00:03:27,621
- Could you leave the light
on in my dad's room, too?
59
00:03:27,621 --> 00:03:29,519
- Aren't you a little
old for a nightlight?
60
00:03:29,519 --> 00:03:30,555
- I don't know.
61
00:03:30,555 --> 00:03:32,453
I've been hearing noises lately.
62
00:03:32,453 --> 00:03:33,696
- Noises?
63
00:03:33,696 --> 00:03:34,524
Like what?
64
00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:40,081
- [Theodore] I don't know,
like breathing in the walls.
65
00:03:41,393 --> 00:03:43,775
- Oh, that's just the
deformed guy in a hockey mask
66
00:03:43,775 --> 00:03:46,087
with a chainsaw under your bed.
67
00:03:46,087 --> 00:03:48,607
- What?
[Betsy laughing]
68
00:03:48,607 --> 00:03:50,091
- Relax, I'm just kidding.
69
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,060
- That's some messed
up crap, Betsy.
70
00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:55,165
- I know, I couldn't resist.
71
00:03:55,165 --> 00:03:56,374
You need new panties?
72
00:03:56,374 --> 00:03:57,616
- Give a kid a break.
73
00:03:58,583 --> 00:03:59,825
And yeah,
74
00:03:59,825 --> 00:04:01,655
I do.
[Betsy giggling]
75
00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:03,588
- Look, it's probably
just the wind.
76
00:04:03,588 --> 00:04:04,968
Older house.
77
00:04:04,968 --> 00:04:06,591
- It doesn't sound
like the wind.
78
00:04:07,523 --> 00:04:09,283
- Mkay, you got it.
79
00:04:10,526 --> 00:04:11,803
- Thanks.
80
00:04:11,803 --> 00:04:12,942
Goodnight, hosebag.
81
00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:14,737
- Night, puke.
82
00:04:19,742 --> 00:04:21,088
[jarring orchestral music]
83
00:04:21,088 --> 00:04:24,643
[ominous orchestral music]
84
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,656
[jarring orchestral music]
85
00:04:37,656 --> 00:04:40,314
[clock ticking]
86
00:04:45,664 --> 00:04:49,254
[ominous orchestral music]
87
00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:02,302
[Betsy gasping]
88
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:06,996
[ominous orchestral music]
[clock ticking]
89
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,447
[floor creaking]
90
00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:54,319
[ominous orchestral music]
[clock ticking]
91
00:05:54,319 --> 00:05:57,771
[wall creaking]
92
00:05:57,771 --> 00:05:59,013
[Betsy sighing]
93
00:05:59,013 --> 00:06:01,533
Wow, one little kid
spook you much, Betsy?
94
00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:11,163
- [Woman On TV] My
God, what the fuck?
95
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,929
- [Man On TV] Alright,
you guys ready?
96
00:06:17,929 --> 00:06:19,171
Just zooming out.
97
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,656
- [Woman On TV] This is
so fucked up, Freddy.
98
00:06:20,656 --> 00:06:25,350
- [Man On TV] Shut up, or
I'm gonna get you next.
99
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:26,420
[ominous orchestral music]
[clock ticking]
100
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,940
[book slamming on table]
101
00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:29,768
- Oh.
102
00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:34,359
[Betsy sighing]
103
00:06:37,466 --> 00:06:41,055
[ominous orchestral music]
104
00:06:54,793 --> 00:06:59,798
[urine trickling]
[Betsy farting]
105
00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:03,008
[Theodore snoring]
106
00:07:03,008 --> 00:07:04,941
Damn period gas.
[urine trickling]
107
00:07:04,941 --> 00:07:07,047
[Betsy farting]
108
00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:12,052
[ominous orchestral music]
[urine trickling]
109
00:07:13,294 --> 00:07:16,953
[dramatic orchestral music]
110
00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:24,616
[shark chomping flesh]
111
00:07:24,616 --> 00:07:25,962
[shark chomping flesh]
112
00:07:25,962 --> 00:07:27,447
[book banging on floor]
113
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,588
[car engine whirring]
114
00:07:33,936 --> 00:07:35,455
- [Eleanor] Thanks, Frank.
115
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,595
Your tongue was legendary.
116
00:07:40,218 --> 00:07:42,358
[Frank heaving]
117
00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:45,119
[Frank coughing]
118
00:07:46,362 --> 00:07:47,363
[Frank heaving]
119
00:07:47,363 --> 00:07:48,709
[Frank coughing]
120
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:49,538
- Oh,
121
00:07:49,538 --> 00:07:53,058
God.
122
00:07:53,058 --> 00:07:56,096
[car horn beeping]
123
00:07:56,096 --> 00:07:57,891
[Frank heaving]
124
00:07:57,891 --> 00:07:58,719
Fuck.
125
00:08:00,169 --> 00:08:01,446
Slime squishing]
126
00:08:04,104 --> 00:08:06,658
[upbeat rock music from TV]
127
00:08:06,658 --> 00:08:11,352
Ah, stiff arms.
[slime squishing]
128
00:08:11,352 --> 00:08:12,181
Glue.
129
00:08:14,563 --> 00:08:16,910
♪ Now I think I see the light
130
00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:19,015
♪ I think I see the light
Hello?
131
00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:21,224
♪ I think I see the light
132
00:08:21,224 --> 00:08:22,674
Betsy, I'm home.
133
00:08:22,674 --> 00:08:24,055
- Dad?
[jarring dramatic music]
134
00:08:24,055 --> 00:08:25,850
- [sighing] Theo.
135
00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:28,646
What are you still doing up?
136
00:08:28,646 --> 00:08:30,510
- I heard a noise.
137
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,614
[Betsy screaming]
138
00:08:31,614 --> 00:08:33,513
Dad?
- Stay right there.
139
00:08:35,135 --> 00:08:38,414
[Betty gurgling blood]
[Betty gasping]
140
00:08:38,414 --> 00:08:41,210
[Betty screaming]
[dramatic orchestral music]
141
00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:46,215
[Betty yelping]
[shark ripping flesh]
142
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,320
[bones cracking]
143
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,253
[blood spurting]
[bones cracking]
144
00:08:50,253 --> 00:08:51,945
[Betsy yelping]
[blood spurting]
145
00:08:51,945 --> 00:08:55,604
[dramatic orchestral music]
146
00:08:58,399 --> 00:09:00,988
[Frank gasping]
147
00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:05,475
[Frank heaving]
148
00:09:05,475 --> 00:09:07,892
[gasping] No.
149
00:09:07,892 --> 00:09:09,134
No.
150
00:09:09,134 --> 00:09:12,344
No. [gasping]
151
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,725
No.
152
00:09:13,725 --> 00:09:18,385
[Frank gasping]
[Frank sobbing]
153
00:09:18,385 --> 00:09:19,351
- Dad?
[Frank screaming]
154
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,560
What happened?
[Frank grunting]
155
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,493
Where's Betsy, I.
[Frank sobbing]
156
00:09:23,493 --> 00:09:25,668
Dad, what happened, and
[Frank whimpering]
157
00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:28,844
why does your face smell
like an old tire, I?
158
00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:31,329
[toilet clattering]
159
00:09:31,329 --> 00:09:32,779
[ominous orchestral music]
160
00:09:32,779 --> 00:09:35,609
[blood trickling]
161
00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:41,201
[toilet clattering]
162
00:09:43,168 --> 00:09:46,827
[dramatic orchestral music]
163
00:09:52,902 --> 00:09:54,628
[blood spurting]
164
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,285
[blood spraying]
165
00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:58,667
[Frank gasping]
166
00:09:58,667 --> 00:09:59,599
- No.
167
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:03,188
[dramatic orchestral music]
168
00:10:18,963 --> 00:10:22,898
[atmospheric orchestral music]
169
00:10:34,254 --> 00:10:36,014
[George sighing]
170
00:10:36,014 --> 00:10:40,363
[atmospheric orchestral music]
171
00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:43,504
[wind rustling leaves
172
00:10:55,896 --> 00:10:58,623
[Frank groaning]
173
00:11:06,148 --> 00:11:08,529
[Frank sighing]
174
00:11:08,529 --> 00:11:11,187
[water flowing]
175
00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:17,780
[water splashing]
176
00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:46,636
[fork clacking on pot]
177
00:11:46,636 --> 00:11:50,088
[atmospheric piano music]
178
00:11:54,299 --> 00:11:56,992
[beans sizzling]
179
00:12:00,581 --> 00:12:03,688
[beans sizzling]
180
00:12:03,688 --> 00:12:05,207
[Frank sighing]
181
00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:07,968
[birds chirping]
182
00:12:14,285 --> 00:12:16,943
[Frank sighing]
183
00:12:34,892 --> 00:12:37,584
[Frank sighing]
184
00:13:09,616 --> 00:13:11,238
What the hell, kid?
185
00:13:11,238 --> 00:13:13,206
Can't you see I'm going
through hell here?
186
00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:15,691
- Dad, relax, take a chill pill.
187
00:13:17,727 --> 00:13:19,177
- [sighing] I'm sorry, Son.
188
00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:23,319
I'm just really going
through hell right now.
189
00:13:26,322 --> 00:13:27,634
You didn't eat your beans.
190
00:13:29,222 --> 00:13:31,811
- Beans for breakfast,
lunch and dinner
191
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:32,915
isn't going to cut it.
192
00:13:32,915 --> 00:13:34,192
[Frank sighing]
I'm sorry,
193
00:13:34,192 --> 00:13:35,884
I'll got eat with
Mom, or something.
194
00:13:35,884 --> 00:13:39,473
- [sighing] I'm sorry, money's
just really tight right now.
195
00:13:39,473 --> 00:13:40,474
- It's okay.
196
00:13:43,339 --> 00:13:47,585
- Hey, why don't you watch
your Pewbuscus and Toby pie
197
00:13:47,585 --> 00:13:48,758
that you like so much?
198
00:13:50,036 --> 00:13:51,140
- You're a dork, Dad.
199
00:13:52,107 --> 00:13:55,110
[knocking on fence]
200
00:13:59,666 --> 00:14:01,806
[Frank sighing]
- Hey there, little man.
201
00:14:01,806 --> 00:14:02,669
- [Theodore] Hey.
202
00:14:04,464 --> 00:14:06,328
- Hey, buddy, come
give me a hug.
203
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,298
- Go wait in the
car for me, Theo.
204
00:14:11,298 --> 00:14:12,852
- You gonna cut
his balls off, Mom?
205
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,854
- Honey, watch your
mouth, of course not.
206
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,131
- Yeah, she is.
207
00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:24,587
- [Lady Bird] Frank,
we need to talk.
208
00:14:24,587 --> 00:14:25,865
- [Frank] About what this time?
209
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,556
- [Lady Bird] Ah,
the same old thing.
210
00:14:27,556 --> 00:14:30,110
Our son cannot be living
in a tent in the backyard.
211
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:31,249
- [Frank] And why not?
212
00:14:31,249 --> 00:14:32,733
- [Lady Bird] Really?
213
00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:34,459
Winter's coming, what
are you going to do then?
214
00:14:34,459 --> 00:14:36,841
- [Frank] I don't know,
I'll build an igloo.
215
00:14:36,841 --> 00:14:37,911
- [Lady Bird] An igloo?
216
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,706
Really, Frank?
- Yeah, why not?
217
00:14:39,706 --> 00:14:40,983
Igloos are warm.
218
00:14:40,983 --> 00:14:42,191
I mean, if they're good enough
219
00:14:42,191 --> 00:14:43,123
for the Chinese,
[Lady Bird sighing]
220
00:14:43,123 --> 00:14:44,297
they're good enough for me.
221
00:14:44,297 --> 00:14:46,782
- Either get him
back in a real house,
222
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,958
or I'm going to sue
you for full custody.
223
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,241
[Frank crying]
[Lady Bird sighing]
224
00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:59,277
Why don't you sell the house?
[Frank sobbing]
225
00:14:59,277 --> 00:15:02,591
And get a new place?
[Frank sobbing]
226
00:15:02,591 --> 00:15:05,387
- [crying] I can't sell it.
227
00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:07,423
- That's because you
won't let anyone inside.
228
00:15:07,423 --> 00:15:10,116
- No, you don't understand.
229
00:15:11,186 --> 00:15:13,498
No one understands.
230
00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:15,155
It's not safe in there.
231
00:15:16,225 --> 00:15:18,400
I wanna demolish that house.
232
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,919
I wanna burn it to ashes.
233
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,817
And then I wanna
burn those ashes.
234
00:15:21,817 --> 00:15:24,406
And then I wanna put
those ashes in a canister,
235
00:15:24,406 --> 00:15:25,925
and shoot 'em towards the sun.
236
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,307
Then I wanna take a nuclear
bomb and shoot it at the sun--
237
00:15:29,307 --> 00:15:30,930
- I get the point, Frank.
238
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,966
[Frank grunting]
239
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:35,210
- You didn't see what
I saw, Lady Bird.
240
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:38,627
- What, that there's some
sort of monster in there?
241
00:15:38,627 --> 00:15:41,837
The police searched
the place, it's empty.
242
00:15:41,837 --> 00:15:45,358
There's no monster,
there never was.
243
00:15:45,358 --> 00:15:47,601
Freak plumbing
accident, that's all.
244
00:15:47,601 --> 00:15:49,327
- There is a monster.
245
00:15:50,156 --> 00:15:51,295
I saw it.
246
00:15:52,503 --> 00:15:55,264
And it's still in
there, I can feel it.
247
00:15:56,645 --> 00:15:58,440
It's looking at me.
248
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,063
Undressing me with its eyes.
249
00:16:01,063 --> 00:16:02,823
Violating my every orifice
250
00:16:02,823 --> 00:16:06,034
with its sick, twisted,
perverted mind.
251
00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:08,795
It's gotta penis, but tits, too,
252
00:16:08,795 --> 00:16:10,417
like some sort of shemale.
253
00:16:11,729 --> 00:16:13,973
And it tricks you, makes
you think it's a woman,
254
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,905
until you're at
home alone with it.
255
00:16:15,905 --> 00:16:17,597
All naked and horned
up and you think,
256
00:16:17,597 --> 00:16:21,221
hey, why let my first real
boner in months go to waste?
257
00:16:21,221 --> 00:16:22,671
- Frank?
258
00:16:22,671 --> 00:16:25,363
[Frank sighing]
259
00:16:25,363 --> 00:16:26,951
- Believe me.
260
00:16:26,951 --> 00:16:30,610
It's still in
there, just waiting.
261
00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:32,992
Waiting for the
chance to kill again.
262
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,063
- You need help, Frank.
263
00:16:35,063 --> 00:16:37,582
Serious psychiatric help.
264
00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:41,276
Why don't you back to the force,
265
00:16:41,276 --> 00:16:42,932
and get your old job back?
266
00:16:42,932 --> 00:16:45,556
Make some money, rent a
decent place at least.
267
00:16:45,556 --> 00:16:47,592
- I can't go back.
268
00:16:47,592 --> 00:16:48,524
Not now.
269
00:16:49,353 --> 00:16:50,664
It's too hard.
270
00:16:51,976 --> 00:16:53,978
- What happened
to you out there?
271
00:16:53,978 --> 00:16:54,944
- They pushed me.
272
00:16:56,084 --> 00:16:58,017
They pushed me too
far, Lady Bird.
273
00:16:59,225 --> 00:17:02,918
- Well, that shouldn't
effect our son's life.
274
00:17:02,918 --> 00:17:04,885
[atmospheric orchestral music]
275
00:17:04,885 --> 00:17:06,473
Straighten up, Frank.
276
00:17:07,647 --> 00:17:10,650
Or you're going to
lose him. [sighing]
277
00:17:28,323 --> 00:17:31,947
[ominous orchestral music]
278
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,398
[phone ringing]
279
00:17:34,398 --> 00:17:37,125
- He won't let us in the
house to show anyone.
280
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:40,093
- [Ronald] He knows the bank
is ready to foreclose on it?
281
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,061
- Yes, of course.
282
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,614
He doesn't care.
283
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,754
- [Ronald] You have
the key, correct?
284
00:17:45,754 --> 00:17:46,962
- Yes.
285
00:17:46,962 --> 00:17:48,688
- [Ronald] Then
schedule a showing.
286
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,622
- Without his permission, sir?
287
00:17:51,622 --> 00:17:54,107
- [Ronald] If the bank takes
the house, we get nothing.
288
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,075
We need it [hand
banging on desk] sold.
289
00:17:57,214 --> 00:17:58,215
- I don't know.
290
00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:05,084
- Are you a killer, George?
291
00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:07,362
- [George] Sir?
292
00:18:07,362 --> 00:18:09,226
- It's a simple question.
293
00:18:09,226 --> 00:18:10,089
Are
294
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:10,917
you
295
00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:12,401
a killer?
296
00:18:12,401 --> 00:18:17,165
- Ah, I just wanna do a
good job, Mr. Reagan, sir.
297
00:18:17,165 --> 00:18:20,616
[Ronald clearing throat]
298
00:18:22,066 --> 00:18:24,586
- Do you know the history
of this company, George?
299
00:18:24,586 --> 00:18:26,898
- Um, bits and pieces, sir.
300
00:18:28,037 --> 00:18:30,005
- Well let me
enlighten you, son.
301
00:18:31,282 --> 00:18:34,251
My great grandfather
came here from Italy,
302
00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:35,700
God rest his soul.
303
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,910
And he came here with one goal,
304
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,878
to dominate the
real estate industry
305
00:18:40,878 --> 00:18:42,811
in The United States.
306
00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:44,813
We've done just that.
307
00:18:44,813 --> 00:18:46,987
Well beyond his wildest dreams.
308
00:18:46,987 --> 00:18:50,922
We are the most powerful
agency in the world,
309
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,511
and we didn't get there
having banks foreclose
310
00:18:53,511 --> 00:18:55,237
on our properties.
311
00:18:55,237 --> 00:19:00,035
We have a 97 and
3/4% closing ratio.
312
00:19:00,035 --> 00:19:01,485
- Yes, of course.
313
00:19:02,865 --> 00:19:06,766
Everyone knows that Reagan
Realty is the cream of the crop.
314
00:19:07,974 --> 00:19:10,252
- And do you know what
happened to the agents
315
00:19:10,252 --> 00:19:13,152
of the remaining 2
and a 1/4%, George?
316
00:19:14,222 --> 00:19:15,154
- Uh,
317
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,603
no sir.
318
00:19:16,603 --> 00:19:19,019
- Well let's just say
neither do their families.
319
00:19:19,019 --> 00:19:22,402
[hand whacks against face]
[George grunting]
320
00:19:22,402 --> 00:19:24,577
[George whimpering]
321
00:19:24,577 --> 00:19:26,061
Sell the house, George,
322
00:19:26,061 --> 00:19:27,925
or you'll find out
exactly what happened
323
00:19:27,925 --> 00:19:29,651
to the other 2 and a 1/4%..
324
00:19:29,651 --> 00:19:32,585
- Yeah, yes, sir. [gasping]
325
00:19:32,585 --> 00:19:34,242
- Good, George.
326
00:19:34,242 --> 00:19:35,967
Get your sweet ass outta here.
327
00:19:39,419 --> 00:19:40,834
- Yes, sir.
328
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:41,904
Thank you, sir.
329
00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:43,043
Thank you.
330
00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:43,872
Thank you.
331
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:53,813
[intercom button clicking]
332
00:19:53,813 --> 00:19:54,745
- Nancy?
333
00:19:54,745 --> 00:19:56,298
- [Nancy] Yes, Mr. Reagan?
334
00:19:56,298 --> 00:19:58,473
- Cancel the light
repairman today.
335
00:19:58,473 --> 00:20:00,095
- [Nancy] Yes, sir.
336
00:20:01,648 --> 00:20:05,134
[Mr. Reagan laughing]
337
00:20:05,134 --> 00:20:08,276
[Mr. Reagan laughing]
338
00:20:09,932 --> 00:20:13,522
[ominous orchestral music]
339
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,894
[books clattering on floor]
340
00:20:48,661 --> 00:20:51,629
[keyboard clicking]
341
00:20:59,465 --> 00:21:02,364
[keyboard clicking]
342
00:21:08,128 --> 00:21:11,131
[keyboard clicking]
343
00:21:17,862 --> 00:21:20,865
[keyboard clicking]
344
00:21:39,056 --> 00:21:42,611
[ominous orchestral music]
345
00:21:57,833 --> 00:22:00,042
- We do floors--
- Hey.
346
00:22:00,042 --> 00:22:02,148
What's going on here?
347
00:22:02,148 --> 00:22:04,426
Who said you could
show the house?
348
00:22:04,426 --> 00:22:05,669
- Excuse me a moment.
349
00:22:05,669 --> 00:22:07,256
Ah, please look around.
350
00:22:07,256 --> 00:22:09,155
Um, just a local drunk.
351
00:22:10,259 --> 00:22:11,088
Look,
352
00:22:12,261 --> 00:22:13,677
we need to let people
see the inside of house
353
00:22:13,677 --> 00:22:15,195
if we're going to sell it.
354
00:22:15,195 --> 00:22:16,473
- [Frank] I don't wanna
sell it, I wanna burn it.
355
00:22:16,473 --> 00:22:19,821
- No.
[door clacking]
356
00:22:19,821 --> 00:22:21,340
Why don't you guys
check upstairs?
357
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,618
Ah, there's five bedrooms.
358
00:22:23,618 --> 00:22:25,344
Great for a couple
looking to start a family.
359
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,793
- [Frank] No, no.
360
00:22:26,793 --> 00:22:29,313
No, don't, don't go up there.
361
00:22:29,313 --> 00:22:30,245
Don't, don't.
362
00:22:30,245 --> 00:22:33,593
[gasping] You'll die up there.
363
00:22:33,593 --> 00:22:34,905
[Frank grunting]
364
00:22:34,905 --> 00:22:35,940
- Look, Frank.
365
00:22:35,940 --> 00:22:37,597
Don't be ridiculous here.
366
00:22:37,597 --> 00:22:39,116
There's nothing wrong
with this house.
367
00:22:39,116 --> 00:22:40,600
- No, there is.
368
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,603
And I think I know what it is.
369
00:22:43,603 --> 00:22:44,880
- [George] What's this?
370
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,503
- This is something I
found at the library.
371
00:22:46,503 --> 00:22:48,608
A similar case except for worse.
372
00:22:48,608 --> 00:22:50,265
A Parade of Houses.
373
00:22:50,265 --> 00:22:52,992
Couples ripped to pieces.
374
00:22:52,992 --> 00:22:55,477
The real estate agent said
it was something called
375
00:22:55,477 --> 00:22:56,616
a house shark.
376
00:22:56,616 --> 00:22:58,653
- [chuckling] A house shark?
377
00:22:59,550 --> 00:23:00,551
Is this a joke, Frank?
378
00:23:00,551 --> 00:23:02,139
- No, listen to me.
379
00:23:02,139 --> 00:23:03,968
It's real, these things exist.
380
00:23:03,968 --> 00:23:06,868
[Checkers panting]
381
00:23:08,525 --> 00:23:09,767
- Checkers.
382
00:23:09,767 --> 00:23:12,149
- [John] Huh, let her
go, she'll be fine.
383
00:23:12,149 --> 00:23:14,254
- I even found info
on a scientist.
384
00:23:14,254 --> 00:23:17,085
He claims to be the world's
only house shark expert.
385
00:23:18,293 --> 00:23:19,639
- I've never heard
of a house shark.
386
00:23:19,639 --> 00:23:21,503
[Frank sighing]
It sounds ridiculous.
387
00:23:21,503 --> 00:23:22,953
- Look, George,
388
00:23:23,850 --> 00:23:25,231
you didn't see what I saw.
389
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:27,889
I mean, that poor girl.
390
00:23:29,373 --> 00:23:31,410
Something attacked her in the
plumbing right in front of me,
391
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:34,067
and then I saw
something, something,
392
00:23:34,067 --> 00:23:35,517
something like a fin.
393
00:23:35,517 --> 00:23:38,555
- I guess it's a bit
of a fixer upper, but
394
00:23:38,555 --> 00:23:39,728
I totally
395
00:23:39,728 --> 00:23:40,695
love it.
396
00:23:40,695 --> 00:23:41,627
- [John] Me too.
397
00:23:41,627 --> 00:23:44,940
- So, we're gonna make an offer?
398
00:23:44,940 --> 00:23:46,148
- [John] You bet, Dolly.
399
00:23:46,148 --> 00:23:48,737
- Yeah, I read
the police report.
400
00:23:48,737 --> 00:23:50,429
They looked.
401
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,706
They didn't find anything.
402
00:23:53,259 --> 00:23:55,675
[sighing] It was some kinda
freak suction built up
403
00:23:55,675 --> 00:23:56,987
in the pipes from
the waste station.
404
00:23:56,987 --> 00:23:59,507
- But what did the
coroner say, huh?
405
00:23:59,507 --> 00:24:00,439
What did he say, George?
406
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:01,681
What did he write at first?
407
00:24:01,681 --> 00:24:04,028
He said it looked
like a shark attack.
408
00:24:04,028 --> 00:24:04,995
- Um,
409
00:24:04,995 --> 00:24:06,548
no,
410
00:24:06,548 --> 00:24:07,687
he never said that.
411
00:24:09,137 --> 00:24:12,865
- Well, I, well, I mean,
I'm sure he thought it.
412
00:24:12,865 --> 00:24:15,039
- First place I'm wanna
make mad monkey love to you,
413
00:24:15,039 --> 00:24:17,352
is right here in
this living room.
414
00:24:17,352 --> 00:24:18,560
- [Dolly] Oh, yeah, John?
415
00:24:20,597 --> 00:24:22,461
- Give me that stink, baby.
416
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:23,703
[Dolly giggling]
417
00:24:23,703 --> 00:24:25,187
- [Dolly] John, don't.
418
00:24:25,187 --> 00:24:28,018
And where's Checkers?
[ominous orchestral music]
419
00:24:28,018 --> 00:24:29,468
Checkers?
420
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,332
- Hey, look, Frank.
[Frank sighing]
421
00:24:32,332 --> 00:24:33,748
If you don't sell this house,
422
00:24:34,818 --> 00:24:36,129
the bank will take it.
423
00:24:36,129 --> 00:24:37,441
- I'll blow it up first.
424
00:24:37,441 --> 00:24:38,580
- No, you won't.
425
00:24:38,580 --> 00:24:39,650
We're going to sell this house.
426
00:24:39,650 --> 00:24:41,134
- My balls you are.
427
00:24:43,205 --> 00:24:46,692
[ominous orchestral music]
428
00:24:46,692 --> 00:24:50,385
[dramatic orchestral music]
429
00:24:52,249 --> 00:24:53,181
- Wait.
430
00:24:53,181 --> 00:24:54,907
Did you hear something, John?
431
00:24:54,907 --> 00:24:57,254
- [John] Uh, it's probably
just the dog, baby.
432
00:24:57,254 --> 00:25:00,844
[dramatic orchestral music]
433
00:25:08,645 --> 00:25:09,818
- John, stop.
434
00:25:09,818 --> 00:25:10,992
I don't want anyone catching us
435
00:25:10,992 --> 00:25:12,890
with your fingers up my butt.
436
00:25:12,890 --> 00:25:16,549
[dramatic orchestral music]
437
00:25:19,932 --> 00:25:21,796
[clothes rustling]
438
00:25:21,796 --> 00:25:23,452
- [George] Wait, what was that?
439
00:25:25,489 --> 00:25:28,250
[John screaming]
440
00:25:29,148 --> 00:25:29,976
- Shark.
441
00:25:31,150 --> 00:25:32,427
House shark.
442
00:25:32,427 --> 00:25:35,982
[ominous orchestral music]
443
00:25:37,846 --> 00:25:40,573
[blood spurting]
444
00:25:43,127 --> 00:25:48,132
[shark crunching bones]
[blood spurting]
445
00:25:48,995 --> 00:25:50,238
- Do you wanna see my gun?
446
00:25:50,238 --> 00:25:52,102
Look at that, real
life police gun.
447
00:25:52,102 --> 00:25:53,828
Here, hold it, there.
448
00:25:53,828 --> 00:25:55,761
You're just like a cop.
449
00:25:57,245 --> 00:25:59,109
[Frank sighing]
- Frank?
450
00:25:59,109 --> 00:25:59,937
- Lady Bird?
451
00:25:59,937 --> 00:26:01,421
- What happened?
452
00:26:01,421 --> 00:26:03,872
- This couple was attacked.
453
00:26:03,872 --> 00:26:05,909
Attacked by some sort of
monster hiding in the house.
454
00:26:05,909 --> 00:26:06,875
- Oh, my...
455
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,430
You were right, Frank.
456
00:26:10,430 --> 00:26:13,261
Oh, you were right all along.
457
00:26:13,261 --> 00:26:14,089
- Yeah.
458
00:26:15,504 --> 00:26:17,610
Listen, can you watch Theo
for the next few days?
459
00:26:17,610 --> 00:26:18,991
Just until I can
sort his all out.
460
00:26:18,991 --> 00:26:22,097
- Yes, of course. [sighing]
461
00:26:23,892 --> 00:26:25,411
Take care of this, Frank.
462
00:26:26,239 --> 00:26:27,931
- I, I will, Lady Bird.
463
00:26:27,931 --> 00:26:30,934
[Lady Bird sighing]
464
00:26:33,868 --> 00:26:37,388
[heels clicking on floor]
465
00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:47,640
[Frank sighing]
466
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:48,883
- If the monster
comes 'round here,
467
00:26:48,883 --> 00:26:50,574
I'll come after
him with a stick.
468
00:26:50,574 --> 00:26:52,334
- George?
[George whimpering]
469
00:26:52,334 --> 00:26:53,163
George?
470
00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:02,413
George, George, look.
471
00:27:02,413 --> 00:27:04,692
Look, I'm gonna call this guy.
472
00:27:04,692 --> 00:27:07,764
This, ah, this,
this Zachary guy.
473
00:27:07,764 --> 00:27:09,282
Get him out here and see
what he knows, I mean--
474
00:27:09,282 --> 00:27:12,492
- Frank, did you know I had
three families scheduled today?
475
00:27:13,424 --> 00:27:15,495
- It doesn't matter now, George.
476
00:27:15,495 --> 00:27:17,083
- One of them hand kids.
477
00:27:17,083 --> 00:27:18,084
Kids, Frank.
478
00:27:19,223 --> 00:27:20,224
[Frank sighing]
And these weren't just
479
00:27:20,224 --> 00:27:21,432
some ugly kids.
480
00:27:21,432 --> 00:27:23,020
I saw pictures.
481
00:27:23,020 --> 00:27:24,712
They were adorable.
482
00:27:24,712 --> 00:27:28,129
Like, Emmanuel Lewis
on Webster adorable.
483
00:27:28,129 --> 00:27:32,685
- Look, we're going to make
things alright, George, okay?
484
00:27:32,685 --> 00:27:34,998
Just no more showings, agreed?
485
00:27:34,998 --> 00:27:35,861
- Yes.
486
00:27:36,793 --> 00:27:38,173
Yes, of course.
487
00:27:38,173 --> 00:27:39,381
- Okay.
488
00:27:39,381 --> 00:27:41,832
Look, I'm gonna get
this scientist out here.
489
00:27:42,868 --> 00:27:45,008
- Yes, you do what you have to.
490
00:27:46,388 --> 00:27:48,528
[sighing] I'm gonna
go meet with my boss.
491
00:27:48,528 --> 00:27:49,460
- Okay,
492
00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:50,289
good.
493
00:27:51,428 --> 00:27:52,878
Hey, I'll be in touch.
494
00:27:52,878 --> 00:27:56,502
[ominous orchestral music]
495
00:27:59,194 --> 00:28:00,817
- [Police Officer]
We lost my gun.
496
00:28:09,929 --> 00:28:11,724
[dramatic orchestral music]
497
00:28:11,724 --> 00:28:14,175
[rain pattering]
498
00:28:14,175 --> 00:28:17,281
[thunder rumbling]
499
00:28:17,281 --> 00:28:20,940
[dramatic orchestral music]
500
00:28:22,493 --> 00:28:27,498
[rain pattering]
[thunder rumbling]
501
00:28:43,342 --> 00:28:45,447
- Get me, Zachary Taylor.
502
00:28:57,805 --> 00:29:00,255
[customers chattering]
503
00:29:00,255 --> 00:29:04,121
[atmospheric orchestral music]
504
00:29:04,121 --> 00:29:09,126
[heels clicking on floor]
[customers chattering]
505
00:29:26,799 --> 00:29:30,320
[Abraham spitting coffee]
506
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:36,153
[Abraham growling]
507
00:29:36,153 --> 00:29:38,293
[atmospheric orchestral music]
- House shark?
508
00:29:38,293 --> 00:29:40,330
- I, I wouldn't have believe it,
509
00:29:40,330 --> 00:29:42,228
if I hadn't seen it for myself.
510
00:29:44,713 --> 00:29:46,129
- Fortunately for you, George,
511
00:29:46,129 --> 00:29:48,062
I have a plan for this.
512
00:29:48,062 --> 00:29:49,511
- Sir?
513
00:29:49,511 --> 00:29:53,101
- I'm putting my top home
inspector on it, Darth Squanto.
514
00:29:53,101 --> 00:29:54,275
He can handle it.
515
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,043
[George whimpering]
516
00:30:06,356 --> 00:30:09,738
[gate clacking]
517
00:30:09,738 --> 00:30:12,500
[birds chirping]
518
00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:14,019
- [George] Frank?
519
00:30:14,019 --> 00:30:15,537
- George.
520
00:30:15,537 --> 00:30:19,024
Look, I found the scientist
from the Homeographic Institute.
521
00:30:19,024 --> 00:30:20,094
He's on his way.
522
00:30:21,267 --> 00:30:23,028
- We've come up
with another plan.
523
00:30:23,028 --> 00:30:24,443
- What?
524
00:30:24,443 --> 00:30:26,100
Look, I thought
we agreed we would
525
00:30:26,100 --> 00:30:27,860
wait for the expert to arrive?
526
00:30:29,068 --> 00:30:30,829
- My boss brought
in his own expert.
527
00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:31,795
Meet Darth Squanto.
528
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:38,802
- There's no one with you.
529
00:30:38,802 --> 00:30:41,080
- [Darth Squanto] Greetings.
530
00:30:42,426 --> 00:30:43,703
- A Native American?
531
00:30:44,704 --> 00:30:45,844
What can you do?
532
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,467
- Don't underestimate my powers.
533
00:30:48,467 --> 00:30:49,502
[hand whacking against face]
534
00:30:49,502 --> 00:30:54,266
[swing rattling]
[Frank gasping]
535
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,857
[invisible force whooshing]
536
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:03,792
[body thudding on ground]
[Frank grunting]
537
00:31:05,587 --> 00:31:10,592
[invisible force droning]
[Frank choking]
538
00:31:12,594 --> 00:31:14,148
- Squanto, enough.
539
00:31:14,148 --> 00:31:15,425
Release him.
540
00:31:15,425 --> 00:31:16,598
- As you wish.
541
00:31:16,598 --> 00:31:18,290
[Frank coughing]
542
00:31:18,290 --> 00:31:21,293
[Frank gasping]
543
00:31:21,293 --> 00:31:22,708
- Sorry.
[Frank gasping]
544
00:31:22,708 --> 00:31:24,883
His people are sensitive people.
545
00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:28,887
- [gasping] I just don't
understand the connection.
546
00:31:30,129 --> 00:31:32,097
Native Americans,
547
00:31:32,097 --> 00:31:33,581
sharks?
548
00:31:33,581 --> 00:31:36,480
- My people were great
hunters of sharks.
549
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,034
- How so?
550
00:31:38,034 --> 00:31:39,898
- Once the shark
walked the land.
551
00:31:40,968 --> 00:31:42,176
Much like the buffalo.
552
00:31:43,556 --> 00:31:47,560
We hunted their herds,
wore their skins.
553
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,217
Ate their flesh.
554
00:31:49,217 --> 00:31:52,289
And gave humble praise
to their spirit.
555
00:31:52,289 --> 00:31:54,809
But like the dolphin before him,
556
00:31:54,809 --> 00:31:59,400
the shark one day
discovered the vast oceans.
557
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,196
There they found they were the
top of nature's food chain.
558
00:32:03,611 --> 00:32:07,235
Even man was prey to this mighty
creature within its depths.
559
00:32:08,305 --> 00:32:09,134
And so,
560
00:32:10,859 --> 00:32:11,688
they stayed.
561
00:32:13,379 --> 00:32:14,346
Most of them.
562
00:32:16,003 --> 00:32:17,763
- Do you think you can take it?
563
00:32:17,763 --> 00:32:19,696
- I am most certain of it.
564
00:32:22,837 --> 00:32:26,047
- Let's kill us some
mothertruckin' house shark.
565
00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:30,638
[dramatic orchestral music]
566
00:32:37,610 --> 00:32:40,751
[ax clinking]
567
00:32:40,751 --> 00:32:43,478
[arrows craping]
568
00:33:08,883 --> 00:33:10,091
- Are you Frank?
[atmospheric orchestral music]
569
00:33:10,091 --> 00:33:12,507
- Yeah, who the hell are you?
570
00:33:12,507 --> 00:33:15,959
[foot thudding against groin]
[Frank grunting]
571
00:33:15,959 --> 00:33:18,099
- John and Dolly are my parents.
572
00:33:19,514 --> 00:33:21,275
- I thought they
didn't have any kids?
573
00:33:21,275 --> 00:33:23,380
- They don't, they
were going to adopt me.
574
00:33:25,210 --> 00:33:27,074
- Let's see how this plays out.
575
00:33:27,074 --> 00:33:28,592
- I heard there was a
shark attack in this house,
576
00:33:28,592 --> 00:33:30,939
and you did nothing, Frank.
577
00:33:30,939 --> 00:33:32,458
Nothing.
578
00:33:32,458 --> 00:33:35,289
And now it's back to the high
kill adoption shelter for me.
579
00:33:35,289 --> 00:33:36,359
You dick.
580
00:33:36,359 --> 00:33:38,154
- [gasping] I'm sorry.
581
00:33:39,431 --> 00:33:40,501
[foot thudding against face]
[Frank grunting]
582
00:33:40,501 --> 00:33:43,159
[Frank gasping]
583
00:33:48,095 --> 00:33:49,510
- I'm sorry, Frank.
584
00:33:49,510 --> 00:33:50,787
She's wrong.
585
00:33:50,787 --> 00:33:52,892
- Of course she's
wrong, you idiot.
586
00:33:52,892 --> 00:33:54,894
I did everything that I could.
587
00:33:54,894 --> 00:33:57,449
- Well, I wouldn't say
you did everything.
588
00:33:57,449 --> 00:33:58,312
- Oh,
589
00:33:58,312 --> 00:33:59,106
the fuck.
590
00:34:00,383 --> 00:34:01,487
Yeah, I did.
591
00:34:01,487 --> 00:34:02,316
- Enough.
592
00:34:04,076 --> 00:34:06,975
It is time we faced this fish.
593
00:34:08,839 --> 00:34:09,668
Mammal.
594
00:34:13,810 --> 00:34:15,018
Aquatic
595
00:34:15,018 --> 00:34:15,915
Devil.
596
00:34:16,847 --> 00:34:18,815
- [Frank] Yeah, you think?
597
00:34:18,815 --> 00:34:20,541
- [Darth Squanto] Mm.
598
00:34:22,819 --> 00:34:24,407
- Jeez.
599
00:34:24,407 --> 00:34:26,857
[birds chirping]
600
00:34:26,857 --> 00:34:28,342
More of an asshat.
601
00:34:33,209 --> 00:34:34,244
- [George] Good luck.
602
00:34:46,636 --> 00:34:48,120
- Do not fear.
603
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,296
For soon your home shall
will be rid of this demon.
604
00:34:51,296 --> 00:34:52,538
- Thank you.
605
00:34:52,538 --> 00:34:56,232
[dramatic orchestral music]
606
00:34:56,232 --> 00:35:00,132
[blood spurting]
[Frank gasping]
607
00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:02,928
[bones crunching]
[blood spurting]
608
00:35:02,928 --> 00:35:05,172
[hand plopping on stairs]
609
00:35:05,172 --> 00:35:08,589
[Darth Squanto groaning]
610
00:35:08,589 --> 00:35:13,594
[door slamming closed]
[George crying]
611
00:35:25,330 --> 00:35:27,055
[Ronald sighing]
- Hello, Ronald.
612
00:35:28,781 --> 00:35:29,610
- Who's here?
613
00:35:31,681 --> 00:35:33,545
- It's been a long time.
614
00:35:33,545 --> 00:35:34,477
- Who is that?
615
00:35:34,477 --> 00:35:35,961
Come out where I can see you.
616
00:35:37,307 --> 00:35:38,239
- I'm over here.
617
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:39,689
- Where? Where are you?
618
00:35:39,689 --> 00:35:43,555
Come out, stop tormenting
a helpless old man.
619
00:35:46,074 --> 00:35:47,800
Abraham.
620
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:48,870
- That's me, bitch.
621
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,221
- Finally crawled
out of that ditch
622
00:35:54,221 --> 00:35:56,464
of vaginas and vodka
you've been living in
623
00:35:56,464 --> 00:35:57,845
on the edge of town, huh?
624
00:35:59,053 --> 00:36:01,331
You haven't darkened
these walls since--
625
00:36:01,331 --> 00:36:03,368
- Yeah, I know.
626
00:36:03,368 --> 00:36:06,094
- Why am I not
surprised to see you?
627
00:36:06,094 --> 00:36:09,995
- The smell of freshly soiled
Depends tells me otherwise.
628
00:36:09,995 --> 00:36:12,963
- You're still the
wise ass, I see.
629
00:36:12,963 --> 00:36:14,102
- You knew I'd come.
630
00:36:15,690 --> 00:36:17,451
I'll catch this nugget for you.
631
00:36:18,659 --> 00:36:20,108
But it aint gonna be easy.
632
00:36:21,972 --> 00:36:23,940
It's a bad fish there,
633
00:36:24,803 --> 00:36:27,115
mammal, sharky thing
634
00:36:27,115 --> 00:36:29,463
It's not like selling a
house down in the valley
635
00:36:29,463 --> 00:36:31,189
to a couple of
hippies and yuppies.
636
00:36:32,431 --> 00:36:33,708
No.
637
00:36:33,708 --> 00:36:35,434
This beast'll swallow you whole.
638
00:36:38,057 --> 00:36:39,818
A little shakin'.
639
00:36:40,922 --> 00:36:43,339
A lot of tenderizin'.
640
00:36:43,339 --> 00:36:44,478
A little batterin'.
641
00:36:45,651 --> 00:36:47,964
Maybe he wraps you up in
some rice and seaweed,
642
00:36:47,964 --> 00:36:49,241
and eats you raw.
643
00:36:50,622 --> 00:36:52,727
I don't know.
644
00:36:52,727 --> 00:36:53,590
Then down you go.
645
00:36:55,005 --> 00:36:59,217
We gotta act quick if we
wanna bring your sales back.
646
00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:00,494
You need me.
647
00:37:00,494 --> 00:37:04,256
I'm the only salty dog
that can handle this.
648
00:37:04,256 --> 00:37:05,292
- Yeah,
649
00:37:05,292 --> 00:37:06,154
maybe.
650
00:37:07,190 --> 00:37:08,674
How are your stitches holding?
651
00:37:10,435 --> 00:37:12,575
- Oh, they need tightening.
652
00:37:12,575 --> 00:37:13,990
- I see.
653
00:37:13,990 --> 00:37:15,094
You've gotten fat.
654
00:37:16,682 --> 00:37:19,202
- It's water weight, now
what do you say, am I in?
655
00:37:19,202 --> 00:37:21,618
- I'm not sure you're
up to the task.
656
00:37:21,618 --> 00:37:24,345
If, water weight my ass.
657
00:37:24,345 --> 00:37:26,140
- That's muscle, trust me.
658
00:37:26,140 --> 00:37:28,107
Now I won't take
no for an answer.
659
00:37:28,107 --> 00:37:29,592
- I don't know.
660
00:37:29,592 --> 00:37:32,319
And man boobs aren't muscles.
661
00:37:32,319 --> 00:37:33,665
- I want in.
- No.
662
00:37:33,665 --> 00:37:34,597
- Yes.
663
00:37:34,597 --> 00:37:36,564
- Get off me you fat fuck.
664
00:37:36,564 --> 00:37:38,532
- I out run bulls, I'm back.
665
00:37:38,532 --> 00:37:40,603
- Yeah, pigs don't
jiggle this much.
666
00:37:40,603 --> 00:37:42,121
- Yes, I do.
- No.
667
00:37:42,121 --> 00:37:42,950
- Let me in, let me in.
- No, no.
668
00:37:44,192 --> 00:37:47,126
- I'm the last chance you got.
- Alright, okay.
669
00:37:47,126 --> 00:37:47,920
Okay.
670
00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:50,268
[Abraham sighing]
671
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,786
I suppose that's so.
672
00:37:54,686 --> 00:37:55,859
- You've chosen wisely.
673
00:38:06,249 --> 00:38:07,250
- Nancy?
674
00:38:07,250 --> 00:38:08,286
- [Nancy] Yes, sir?
675
00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:09,666
- Get George on the horn.
676
00:38:17,260 --> 00:38:20,263
[Ronald laughing]
677
00:38:20,263 --> 00:38:22,852
[Ronald laughing]
678
00:38:22,852 --> 00:38:24,371
[lights buzzing]
679
00:38:24,371 --> 00:38:25,406
What the?
680
00:38:25,406 --> 00:38:27,235
- [Nancy] Lights are fixed, sir.
681
00:38:27,235 --> 00:38:28,685
- Oh,
682
00:38:28,685 --> 00:38:29,514
dang it.
683
00:38:30,687 --> 00:38:32,033
[knocking on fence]
684
00:38:32,033 --> 00:38:32,931
- Vello?
685
00:38:32,931 --> 00:38:35,968
[birds chirping]
686
00:38:35,968 --> 00:38:36,797
Vello?
687
00:38:38,419 --> 00:38:39,282
Hmm.
688
00:38:44,218 --> 00:38:47,048
[sniffining] Hmm.
689
00:38:49,741 --> 00:38:52,399
[Frank snoring]
690
00:38:55,436 --> 00:38:57,749
[Frank gasping]
691
00:38:57,749 --> 00:38:59,095
- [Frank] Go away.
692
00:39:00,268 --> 00:39:02,443
We're not showing
the house today.
693
00:39:02,443 --> 00:39:04,480
- I'm not here to buy zhe house.
694
00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:08,138
[Frank groaning]
695
00:39:11,935 --> 00:39:13,730
- You must be that
hooker I ordered.
696
00:39:14,766 --> 00:39:16,077
You're a little early, but
697
00:39:16,975 --> 00:39:19,633
damn, you're one hot bitch.
698
00:39:19,633 --> 00:39:21,255
I like the accent, too.
699
00:39:21,255 --> 00:39:23,361
- I'm not this hooker
that you speak of.
700
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,432
I'm looking for Franklin
Delanor Voosevelt.
701
00:39:25,432 --> 00:39:28,400
- Ah, it's Delano, but, ah,
702
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:29,263
that's me.
703
00:39:30,195 --> 00:39:31,023
Who are you?
704
00:39:31,023 --> 00:39:31,886
I am
705
00:39:31,886 --> 00:39:32,715
Zachary Vaylor.
706
00:39:35,442 --> 00:39:36,788
- Valor?
707
00:39:36,788 --> 00:39:38,583
Tay, Tay, oh.
708
00:39:38,583 --> 00:39:39,411
Oh.
709
00:39:39,411 --> 00:39:42,276
[tent rustling]
710
00:39:42,276 --> 00:39:44,554
Taylor, the house shark expert
711
00:39:44,554 --> 00:39:46,556
from the institute, of course.
712
00:39:46,556 --> 00:39:49,456
I'm so glad you're here,
thank you for coming out.
713
00:39:49,456 --> 00:39:50,595
- Mm-hmm.
- Ah, can I get you
714
00:39:50,595 --> 00:39:51,906
anything to drink?
715
00:39:51,906 --> 00:39:52,735
Ah, coffee?
716
00:39:55,496 --> 00:39:56,566
Oh, shoot.
717
00:39:58,050 --> 00:39:59,224
Out of coffee.
718
00:39:59,224 --> 00:40:01,088
Ah, can I get you anything else?
719
00:40:01,088 --> 00:40:02,952
Maybe some hot water?
720
00:40:02,952 --> 00:40:04,402
Just let me get a fire started.
721
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:05,989
- Ah, it's okay.
722
00:40:05,989 --> 00:40:08,233
I'm, how you say, good.
723
00:40:08,233 --> 00:40:10,477
I had'sa breakfast
before I came overs.
724
00:40:10,477 --> 00:40:11,339
- Breakfast?
725
00:40:13,514 --> 00:40:14,826
Do you have any leftovers?
726
00:40:14,826 --> 00:40:15,654
- Yeah.
727
00:40:18,105 --> 00:40:20,279
Oh, yeah, yeah.
728
00:40:20,279 --> 00:40:21,142
Oh,
729
00:40:21,142 --> 00:40:22,420
yeah.
730
00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:23,559
Help yourself.
731
00:40:25,112 --> 00:40:28,495
- [moaning] It's been days
732
00:40:28,495 --> 00:40:31,152
since the last time
I've had a good meal.
733
00:40:31,152 --> 00:40:33,534
So you're the world's
only house shark expert?
734
00:40:33,534 --> 00:40:35,536
- That's what mine resume says.
735
00:40:35,536 --> 00:40:37,987
[Frank mumbling]
736
00:40:37,987 --> 00:40:39,402
I have a few ideas.
737
00:40:39,402 --> 00:40:42,025
Can vee how you
say, look around.
738
00:40:42,025 --> 00:40:44,718
[Frank coughing]
739
00:40:45,753 --> 00:40:48,549
- No, [mumbling].
740
00:40:52,967 --> 00:40:57,593
No, that thing swallowed Dark
Squanto whole in one bite.
741
00:40:58,973 --> 00:41:01,907
And he had weird,
mystical Indian powers.
742
00:41:01,907 --> 00:41:03,253
- Fark who?
743
00:41:03,253 --> 00:41:05,980
Oh, nevermind, I don't
vant to go inside,
744
00:41:05,980 --> 00:41:07,465
I just vant to
745
00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:10,226
look inz the windows.
746
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:12,953
- [Frank] So, ah,
[atmospheric orchestral music]
747
00:41:12,953 --> 00:41:14,333
how long have you been
studying the house shark?
748
00:41:14,333 --> 00:41:16,612
- About 30 years now.
749
00:41:16,612 --> 00:41:17,647
- Really?
750
00:41:17,647 --> 00:41:19,062
You look like you're 30 now.
751
00:41:20,236 --> 00:41:22,687
- Oh, yeah, my English is bad.
752
00:41:22,687 --> 00:41:24,067
I meant to say 11.
753
00:41:24,067 --> 00:41:27,830
- Oh, so there really is
little information out
754
00:41:27,830 --> 00:41:29,141
on the house shark, huh?
755
00:41:29,141 --> 00:41:31,005
- Yes, the house
shark is quite vare.
756
00:41:31,868 --> 00:41:32,869
Up until a few years ago,
757
00:41:32,869 --> 00:41:35,941
say for only how
you say, legend.
758
00:41:35,941 --> 00:41:37,633
[atmospheric orchestral music]
759
00:41:37,633 --> 00:41:40,325
- So what got you
into the house shark?
760
00:41:40,325 --> 00:41:43,086
- Vell, I love zhe sharks,
but I'm afraid of the ocean.
761
00:41:43,086 --> 00:41:45,330
- Oh, saw Jaws, huh?
762
00:41:45,330 --> 00:41:46,676
- Yeah.
763
00:41:46,676 --> 00:41:47,884
- [Frank] Yeah, me too.
764
00:41:47,884 --> 00:41:50,577
- Yes, that movie
really fucked my nut up.
765
00:41:52,026 --> 00:41:54,270
Anyway, I figured I
could study the sharks
766
00:41:54,270 --> 00:41:55,651
but stay on dry land.
767
00:41:56,928 --> 00:41:59,378
But vhy ve circle 'round.
768
00:41:59,378 --> 00:42:02,830
[ominous orchestral music]
769
00:42:03,935 --> 00:42:05,488
- So is it true that more people
770
00:42:05,488 --> 00:42:08,077
are killed a year by vending
machines than house sharks?
771
00:42:08,077 --> 00:42:09,009
- Is it true?
772
00:42:10,010 --> 00:42:11,287
- I don't know.
773
00:42:11,287 --> 00:42:12,530
I was asking you,
you're the expert.
774
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:13,392
- Hmm.
775
00:42:14,773 --> 00:42:17,811
How many people die each year
to zese vending machines?
776
00:42:17,811 --> 00:42:19,606
- [Frank] Oh,
777
00:42:19,606 --> 00:42:21,021
13.
778
00:42:21,021 --> 00:42:21,849
- [Zachary] Hmm.
779
00:42:21,849 --> 00:42:23,195
Like how?
780
00:42:23,195 --> 00:42:25,059
Electrocution?
781
00:42:25,059 --> 00:42:26,509
- They fall on them.
782
00:42:26,509 --> 00:42:27,993
- [Zachary] They fall on zhem?
783
00:42:29,512 --> 00:42:33,136
- Yeah, like people
put their money in.
784
00:42:33,136 --> 00:42:34,275
They don't get their snacks,
785
00:42:34,275 --> 00:42:36,346
so they decide to shake it up.
786
00:42:37,278 --> 00:42:38,107
Bam.
787
00:42:39,039 --> 00:42:40,247
Pancaked.
788
00:42:40,247 --> 00:42:41,559
- Hmm.
789
00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:43,561
Yeah, yeah.
790
00:42:43,561 --> 00:42:44,631
Zhat seems true.
791
00:42:47,012 --> 00:42:49,049
- They need it so much.
[screen scraping open]
792
00:42:49,049 --> 00:42:51,534
- [Zachary] Uh, vhat is that?
793
00:42:51,534 --> 00:42:52,604
- [Frank] What is what?
794
00:42:53,605 --> 00:42:54,572
[window scraping open]
795
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:55,814
Should you being doing that?
796
00:42:55,814 --> 00:42:58,921
- Ah, ve are fine as
long as we are outside.
797
00:42:58,921 --> 00:42:59,715
I zink.
798
00:43:01,855 --> 00:43:02,856
Oh.
799
00:43:02,856 --> 00:43:03,684
- [Frank] What is it?
800
00:43:03,684 --> 00:43:04,547
- It's a viber.
801
00:43:05,824 --> 00:43:07,136
- [Frank] It looks like a tooth.
802
00:43:07,136 --> 00:43:09,656
- Oh, yeah, it is a toof.
803
00:43:09,656 --> 00:43:12,728
[Zachary gasping]
[jarring dramatic music]
804
00:43:12,728 --> 00:43:13,660
Who is that?
805
00:43:13,660 --> 00:43:15,662
[ominous orchestral music]
806
00:43:15,662 --> 00:43:17,215
- Oh,
807
00:43:17,215 --> 00:43:18,043
that's John.
808
00:43:19,217 --> 00:43:20,598
Him and his wife were
killed by the shark
809
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:21,599
when they were
looking at the house.
810
00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:24,153
- Wasn't that a few a days ago?
811
00:43:24,153 --> 00:43:25,603
- Yeah.
812
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:27,225
- And they just
left them in there?
813
00:43:27,225 --> 00:43:30,538
- Nobody had the balls to go
in and retrieve the bodies.
814
00:43:30,538 --> 00:43:31,367
- Veepers.
815
00:43:35,267 --> 00:43:37,856
- What's that attached
to his finger?
816
00:43:37,856 --> 00:43:38,685
It looks,
817
00:43:39,927 --> 00:43:41,446
it looks like an anus.
818
00:43:41,446 --> 00:43:42,447
- A vanus?
819
00:43:42,447 --> 00:43:43,310
- I think so.
820
00:43:43,310 --> 00:43:44,898
- Is it his?
821
00:43:44,898 --> 00:43:45,830
- I don't think so.
822
00:43:46,693 --> 00:43:49,350
[Frank sniffing]
823
00:43:49,350 --> 00:43:50,938
It smells like flower and honey.
824
00:43:52,112 --> 00:43:53,872
- Why would an anus
be on his finger?
825
00:43:56,806 --> 00:43:58,636
- I don't know.
826
00:43:58,636 --> 00:43:59,913
- Sa plot thickens.
827
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:02,985
[window squishing flesh]
828
00:44:02,985 --> 00:44:05,435
[window squishing flesh]
829
00:44:05,435 --> 00:44:06,609
[hand squishing flesh]
830
00:44:06,609 --> 00:44:10,061
[body thudding on floor]
[Zachary gasping]
831
00:44:10,061 --> 00:44:11,994
[atmospheric orchestral music]
832
00:44:11,994 --> 00:44:12,822
- [Frank] Wait.
833
00:44:13,685 --> 00:44:15,066
Where's the tooth?
834
00:44:15,066 --> 00:44:18,207
- I accidentally
dropped it inside.
835
00:44:18,207 --> 00:44:19,035
- What?
836
00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:24,247
[hands banging on house]
Shoot.
837
00:44:25,732 --> 00:44:27,457
So what are we gonna do now?
838
00:44:27,457 --> 00:44:28,976
- Hmm,
839
00:44:28,976 --> 00:44:31,530
that was a big Mama Jama toof.
840
00:44:31,530 --> 00:44:34,430
I need to sink. [snorting]
841
00:44:37,813 --> 00:44:40,091
Is zhere someplace
around here where we can,
842
00:44:40,091 --> 00:44:41,817
how you say,
843
00:44:41,817 --> 00:44:42,749
grab a drink?
844
00:44:42,749 --> 00:44:46,580
[atmospheric orchestral music]
845
00:44:50,515 --> 00:44:54,174
[atmospheric country music]
846
00:44:57,315 --> 00:44:58,868
- Well?
- Vell what?
847
00:45:00,249 --> 00:45:02,665
- [Frank] Are you
gonna say anything?
848
00:45:02,665 --> 00:45:04,771
You haven't said a word
since we left the house.
849
00:45:04,771 --> 00:45:07,497
- Yeah, vell, it's
just a vot to take in.
850
00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:09,361
- [Frank] Yeah,
believe me, I know.
851
00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:13,434
- So Frank, vhat
did you used to do?
852
00:45:13,434 --> 00:45:14,504
- Used to do?
853
00:45:14,504 --> 00:45:16,334
- Yeah, I mean, to be honest,
854
00:45:16,334 --> 00:45:17,922
you look like a van out of work.
855
00:45:18,888 --> 00:45:20,476
- I guess you'd be right, then.
856
00:45:21,649 --> 00:45:22,927
I used to be a cop.
857
00:45:22,927 --> 00:45:25,032
- Oh, something bad happen?
858
00:45:26,447 --> 00:45:29,519
- [Frank] Yeah, I guess
you could say that.
859
00:45:29,519 --> 00:45:31,211
- [Zachary] Oh, please,
tell me about zhis.
860
00:45:31,211 --> 00:45:33,420
- [Frank] Mm, no.
861
00:45:33,420 --> 00:45:34,870
I don't like to talk about it.
862
00:45:34,870 --> 00:45:35,871
- Please,
863
00:45:35,871 --> 00:45:39,322
share.
[glass banging on bar]
864
00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:41,739
- Well one night,
865
00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:43,741
I was out on patrol
with my partner, when--
866
00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:46,329
[hand slaps against bar]
867
00:45:46,329 --> 00:45:49,539
[nails scraping bar]
868
00:45:49,539 --> 00:45:51,749
[Zachary sniffing]
[Zachary gasping]
869
00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:54,234
- What the hell, Bluebeard?
870
00:45:54,234 --> 00:45:56,684
I was in the middle
of telling a story.
871
00:45:56,684 --> 00:45:58,031
- The name's Abraham.
872
00:45:58,031 --> 00:45:58,859
- Und?
873
00:46:04,382 --> 00:46:05,901
[hand slapping against hand]
874
00:46:05,901 --> 00:46:07,661
- Forgive me, it's
a condition I have.
875
00:46:07,661 --> 00:46:10,250
I have to touch people's faces.
876
00:46:10,250 --> 00:46:11,527
- Um,
877
00:46:11,527 --> 00:46:12,355
weird.
878
00:46:17,153 --> 00:46:18,845
Do we know you?
879
00:46:18,845 --> 00:46:21,261
- George didn't tell
you I was comin'?
880
00:46:21,261 --> 00:46:22,089
- George?
881
00:46:23,263 --> 00:46:24,954
I haven't talked
to George in days.
882
00:46:26,300 --> 00:46:27,888
Oh.
883
00:46:27,888 --> 00:46:29,787
Wait I got a, I got a voicemail.
884
00:46:32,237 --> 00:46:33,411
- [George On Voicemail]
Hey, Frank, it's George.
885
00:46:33,411 --> 00:46:35,033
I'm sending a new guy over.
886
00:46:35,033 --> 00:46:36,794
Abraham, he's gonna help ya out.
887
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:39,072
Between you and me, this guy
looks like a real degenerate,
888
00:46:39,072 --> 00:46:41,143
but, ah, the boss wants him.
889
00:46:41,143 --> 00:46:42,972
But seriously,
he's a real loser.
890
00:46:42,972 --> 00:46:46,044
He smells like he hasn't
showered in weeks,
891
00:46:46,044 --> 00:46:47,287
maybe even months.
892
00:46:47,287 --> 00:46:48,840
And I saw him training
at the gym earlier,
893
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,808
[chuckling] he's
got the smallest...
894
00:46:53,017 --> 00:46:54,328
- So vhat does that make you?
895
00:46:54,328 --> 00:46:56,883
Some sort of house
shark expert, too?
896
00:46:56,883 --> 00:47:01,370
- No, but let's just say I have
a personal interest in this.
897
00:47:03,924 --> 00:47:04,891
[hand slapping against hand]
898
00:47:04,891 --> 00:47:06,478
- Care to explain?
899
00:47:06,478 --> 00:47:07,583
- No, not yet.
900
00:47:09,688 --> 00:47:11,035
- I'm Frank.
901
00:47:11,035 --> 00:47:13,140
- Frank, please ta meet ya.
902
00:47:13,140 --> 00:47:14,348
- [Zachary] Zachary.
903
00:47:14,348 --> 00:47:15,694
- [Abraham] Really,
it's an honor.
904
00:47:17,144 --> 00:47:19,112
- So you're supposed to be
a fisherman or something?
905
00:47:19,112 --> 00:47:20,182
- Real estate agent.
906
00:47:21,148 --> 00:47:22,840
Well, prior.
907
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,049
- Well why are you dressed
like you abolished slavery?
908
00:47:25,049 --> 00:47:27,637
- I don't see how
zhis can help us.
909
00:47:27,637 --> 00:47:29,777
- Look, this house
shark of yours,
910
00:47:29,777 --> 00:47:31,641
I've been lookin'
for for many moons.
911
00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:36,198
He's a mean son of
a biscuit bastard.
912
00:47:36,198 --> 00:47:38,786
First crossed paths
nearly ten years ago.
913
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,411
He bit off both my
arms and my legs.
914
00:47:43,653 --> 00:47:44,482
In stitches, they are.
915
00:47:44,482 --> 00:47:45,621
I sowed 'em back on.
916
00:47:45,621 --> 00:47:48,072
- Pfft, that seems improbable.
917
00:47:48,072 --> 00:47:49,245
- He's one tough fish.
918
00:47:50,488 --> 00:47:51,696
Mammal.
919
00:47:51,696 --> 00:47:52,524
A fish mammal.
920
00:47:54,250 --> 00:47:56,390
Look, you're gonna need me.
921
00:47:56,390 --> 00:47:59,980
My fee is $10,000.
[Frank laughing]
922
00:47:59,980 --> 00:48:01,016
- I've got no money.
923
00:48:03,087 --> 00:48:04,295
- I'll do it for a $100.
924
00:48:05,434 --> 00:48:07,815
- Look, I'm broke.
925
00:48:07,815 --> 00:48:09,162
I've got nothing.
926
00:48:09,162 --> 00:48:10,266
- Okay, I'll just do it.
927
00:48:10,266 --> 00:48:11,267
It's a deal then?
928
00:48:13,718 --> 00:48:15,962
- I'll take $10,000.
929
00:48:15,962 --> 00:48:17,032
- Huh, what?
930
00:48:17,032 --> 00:48:19,517
- $10K, and then
you can join us.
931
00:48:19,517 --> 00:48:21,864
- I'm not payin'
you, you need me.
932
00:48:21,864 --> 00:48:23,383
- Alright, no deal.
933
00:48:25,626 --> 00:48:27,663
- Okay, whoa, fellas.
934
00:48:27,663 --> 00:48:30,700
[ominous orchestral music]
Will you take a check?
935
00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:31,943
- And meals, too.
936
00:48:31,943 --> 00:48:32,979
For Zachary and I.
937
00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:35,671
- Alright, jeez.
938
00:48:35,671 --> 00:48:36,603
That's it, right?
939
00:48:36,603 --> 00:48:38,812
- Wait, just one more thing.
940
00:48:38,812 --> 00:48:41,608
How 'bout you buy
us, how you say,
941
00:48:41,608 --> 00:48:42,436
a round
942
00:48:43,713 --> 00:48:44,507
of rinks?
943
00:48:45,853 --> 00:48:47,476
- You sure are
one funny Mexican.
944
00:48:47,476 --> 00:48:50,272
- Hmm.
- Okay, we have a deal, then?
945
00:48:51,721 --> 00:48:52,964
Bar Wench?
946
00:48:52,964 --> 00:48:55,415
A round of drinks for
me and my new friends.
947
00:48:56,588 --> 00:48:58,418
And then we're gonna
bag us a house shark.
948
00:49:01,007 --> 00:49:03,492
- Bar Wench, you motherfuckers.
949
00:49:03,492 --> 00:49:04,803
I'll give ya a Bar Wench.
950
00:49:04,803 --> 00:49:08,255
[zipper unzipping]
951
00:49:08,255 --> 00:49:10,706
[urine trickling]
[bartender laughing]
952
00:49:10,706 --> 00:49:14,606
[atmospheric orchestral music]
953
00:49:16,850 --> 00:49:19,749
[thunder rumbling]
954
00:49:20,716 --> 00:49:22,787
- There she is gentlemen.
955
00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:26,135
Maybe we should wait
'til the morning.
956
00:49:26,135 --> 00:49:29,380
- [Zachary] Yeah, that
may be a good idea.
957
00:49:29,380 --> 00:49:30,933
- Right?
958
00:49:30,933 --> 00:49:34,799
It would give us a
tactical advantage
959
00:49:34,799 --> 00:49:36,697
over the house minnow.
960
00:49:36,697 --> 00:49:38,458
[Zachary laughing]
961
00:49:38,458 --> 00:49:42,220
- I mean, this house shark
thinks he can mess with,
962
00:49:43,877 --> 00:49:45,189
well you and I.
[mimics farting].
963
00:49:52,506 --> 00:49:53,991
[Abraham vomiting]
- I mean,
964
00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:58,133
maybe it's just afraid of
all the dark and lightning.
965
00:49:58,133 --> 00:49:59,686
- [chuckling] Yeah.
966
00:49:59,686 --> 00:50:01,239
Hell, yeah.
967
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:04,553
House sharks need their
mothers. [laughing]
968
00:50:08,005 --> 00:50:10,248
- Wait he gets ahold of us.
969
00:50:11,387 --> 00:50:14,632
[dog barking]
[men gasping]
970
00:50:14,632 --> 00:50:17,359
- [Frank] Why don't we
call him the House Jaws?
971
00:50:17,359 --> 00:50:22,364
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, ixnay on
the ausjay, there Frankie.
972
00:50:23,675 --> 00:50:28,128
[water boiling]
[ominous orchestral music]
973
00:50:28,887 --> 00:50:31,649
[water sizzling]
974
00:50:38,414 --> 00:50:42,591
[water sizzling tent]
[Frank and Zachary screaming]
975
00:50:42,591 --> 00:50:45,559
It's time to rise
and shine, ladies.
976
00:50:47,182 --> 00:50:48,804
We have to go in there.
977
00:50:49,701 --> 00:50:51,082
- What,
978
00:50:51,082 --> 00:50:52,704
in the house?
979
00:50:52,704 --> 00:50:55,190
- Well, we're not gonna find
the house shark in a mall.
980
00:50:55,190 --> 00:50:56,708
We'll find a mall
shark in a mall,
981
00:50:56,708 --> 00:50:59,159
but we're looking
for a house shark.
982
00:50:59,159 --> 00:51:00,436
The way I see it is,
983
00:51:00,436 --> 00:51:02,300
we can't just gally
ho in there, either.
984
00:51:02,300 --> 00:51:05,096
We start getting the
blood of the beast.
985
00:51:05,096 --> 00:51:07,892
He may just run in
and allude the house.
986
00:51:07,892 --> 00:51:10,067
- Well that's a
good thing, right?
987
00:51:10,067 --> 00:51:12,483
- No, Mr. Roosevelt,
that's a bad thing.
988
00:51:12,483 --> 00:51:14,623
'Cause if he leaves the house,
989
00:51:14,623 --> 00:51:16,797
he'll just take up
residence elsewhere.
990
00:51:18,247 --> 00:51:22,941
Took me 127 years to find him,
I'm not gonna lose him again.
991
00:51:23,977 --> 00:51:26,013
This will be his final days.
992
00:51:27,153 --> 00:51:29,327
- I just wish I could
blow this house up.
993
00:51:29,327 --> 00:51:30,811
- Vhy haven't you?
994
00:51:30,811 --> 00:51:31,709
- What?
- Vhy haven't you blown up
995
00:51:31,709 --> 00:51:34,091
the house good like?
996
00:51:34,091 --> 00:51:35,368
- It's too risky.
997
00:51:35,368 --> 00:51:36,369
I don't wanna take the chance
998
00:51:36,369 --> 00:51:38,095
of someone close
by getting hurt.
999
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:40,338
- But you're trying to sell it?
1000
00:51:40,338 --> 00:51:41,167
- No.
1001
00:51:43,030 --> 00:51:44,239
Well, I mean, not really.
1002
00:51:46,344 --> 00:51:49,623
Look, [sighing] shortly
after the first attack,
1003
00:51:49,623 --> 00:51:52,247
I signed up with this
real estate agency.
1004
00:51:52,247 --> 00:51:54,628
But then I had a
change of heart.
1005
00:51:54,628 --> 00:51:58,356
These guys, they're,
they're so damn persistent.
1006
00:51:58,356 --> 00:51:59,978
I've never seen
anything like it.
1007
00:52:00,876 --> 00:52:02,326
They're tenacious.
1008
00:52:02,326 --> 00:52:04,017
Ruthless, almost.
1009
00:52:05,191 --> 00:52:07,296
It's like dealing
with the mafia.
1010
00:52:07,296 --> 00:52:09,471
- Believe me, I know.
1011
00:52:11,093 --> 00:52:12,922
- Well, there's no guarantees
1012
00:52:12,922 --> 00:52:15,373
that blowing up zhe
house would work anyway.
1013
00:52:15,373 --> 00:52:18,894
And burning it down might just
give him more time to escape.
1014
00:52:18,894 --> 00:52:21,517
Yes, I agree with this Abraham.
1015
00:52:21,517 --> 00:52:25,625
We must go inside and stop
the beast, vonce and for all.
1016
00:52:29,249 --> 00:52:32,079
- Alright, so what's the plan?
1017
00:52:38,258 --> 00:52:39,880
[hand slapping against hand]
1018
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:43,539
[dramatic orchestral music]
1019
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:53,515
[hammer clanking against nail]
1020
00:52:53,515 --> 00:52:58,036
[hammer clanking against nail]
1021
00:52:58,036 --> 00:52:59,348
[hammer clanking against nail]
1022
00:52:59,348 --> 00:53:00,660
[wood clattering]
1023
00:53:00,660 --> 00:53:05,527
[drill whirring]
[hammer clanking against nail]
1024
00:53:06,493 --> 00:53:10,739
[hammer clanking against nail]
1025
00:53:10,739 --> 00:53:14,674
[hammer clanking against nail]
1026
00:53:15,916 --> 00:53:19,817
[hammer clanking against nail]
1027
00:53:24,235 --> 00:53:28,308
[hammer clanking against nail]
1028
00:53:28,308 --> 00:53:33,037
[hammer clanking against nail]
1029
00:53:33,037 --> 00:53:34,521
- You ladies done good.
1030
00:53:34,521 --> 00:53:37,110
I'd like to see
him get outta that.
1031
00:53:37,110 --> 00:53:39,043
- [sighing] We're gonna have
a hard time getting out, too,
1032
00:53:39,043 --> 00:53:40,458
once we get in there.
1033
00:53:40,458 --> 00:53:42,702
- Well, like I said,
many moons ago,
1034
00:53:42,702 --> 00:53:44,221
it's all or nothing.
1035
00:53:45,429 --> 00:53:46,844
- You know, the house
shark seems to be able
1036
00:53:46,844 --> 00:53:49,812
to, to travel through
the walls and such.
1037
00:53:49,812 --> 00:53:51,918
Do you really think boarding
up the windows and doors
1038
00:53:51,918 --> 00:53:53,437
will keep him from getting out?
1039
00:53:55,646 --> 00:53:58,373
- Oh, is speakin's to me's?
1040
00:53:58,373 --> 00:53:59,581
- Yeah.
1041
00:53:59,581 --> 00:54:01,341
- Oh, vell, you
sees, the house shark
1042
00:54:01,341 --> 00:54:05,069
can only enter the house through
zhe vindows and zhe doors.
1043
00:54:05,069 --> 00:54:05,932
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
1044
00:54:05,932 --> 00:54:07,485
- You're so smart.
1045
00:54:07,485 --> 00:54:10,730
- When you two queers
are done swapping spit,
1046
00:54:10,730 --> 00:54:13,457
what do you say we go in
there and kill us a demon,
1047
00:54:13,457 --> 00:54:16,494
that I've dubbed
the, the house shark.
1048
00:54:16,494 --> 00:54:19,532
Copyrighted by Abraham
Crabtree Lincoln.
1049
00:54:19,532 --> 00:54:22,120
- [sighing] You know,
maybe we should have waited
1050
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,951
'til we were inside before
we boarded up the door.
1051
00:54:26,746 --> 00:54:28,057
- Harmless dick.
1052
00:54:35,133 --> 00:54:37,929
Goddamn, will you look at that?
1053
00:54:37,929 --> 00:54:40,242
Screw these bars in.
1054
00:54:40,242 --> 00:54:42,451
Who screwed this one here?
1055
00:54:42,451 --> 00:54:43,970
[Abraham mumbling]
- What are you doing, Frank?
1056
00:54:43,970 --> 00:54:46,110
- We're gonna put an
end to this, Lady Bird.
1057
00:54:46,110 --> 00:54:47,594
- That's suicidal.
[Abraham mumbling]
1058
00:54:47,594 --> 00:54:49,458
- No, look, I'm in good
hands with these two guys.
1059
00:54:49,458 --> 00:54:51,322
- Where'd you guys...
- They're the only ones
1060
00:54:51,322 --> 00:54:53,220
that can help me put an end
to this once and for all.
1061
00:54:53,220 --> 00:54:55,499
- Pansy weasels...
- You'll die in there, Frank.
1062
00:54:55,499 --> 00:54:57,432
- Well, thanks for the
vote of confidence.
1063
00:55:00,055 --> 00:55:02,713
Ah, Lady Bird, this is Zachary,
1064
00:55:02,713 --> 00:55:04,128
Zachary this is Lady Bird.
1065
00:55:04,128 --> 00:55:04,956
- Oh,
1066
00:55:04,956 --> 00:55:05,854
hello.
1067
00:55:05,854 --> 00:55:07,304
Frank told me about you.
1068
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:09,306
He said you're in sharks?
1069
00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:10,755
[Frank laughing]
[Zachary spitting]
1070
00:55:10,755 --> 00:55:14,345
[Zachary laughing]
[Frank laughing]
1071
00:55:14,345 --> 00:55:16,658
- I am not in sharks,
[Frank laughing]
1072
00:55:16,658 --> 00:55:19,454
[laughing] dumb ass. [chuckling]
1073
00:55:19,454 --> 00:55:20,834
- What are you doing?
1074
00:55:20,834 --> 00:55:21,973
Get back to work.
1075
00:55:23,285 --> 00:55:24,562
- What a dumb bitch.
1076
00:55:26,012 --> 00:55:27,462
- Isn't there another way?
- Abraham, you'll never
1077
00:55:27,462 --> 00:55:28,601
what this bitch said.
- I've been living in fear
1078
00:55:28,601 --> 00:55:29,947
of this house shark
1079
00:55:29,947 --> 00:55:31,397
for long enough.
- I heard you're in sharks.
1080
00:55:31,397 --> 00:55:33,191
- I'm not afraid anymore.
[Zachary and Abraham laughing]
1081
00:55:33,191 --> 00:55:34,434
- I need to face it.
- Oh my god,
1082
00:55:34,434 --> 00:55:35,608
I've never laughed so hard
- Really?
1083
00:55:35,608 --> 00:55:36,885
- in my life.
- You're not afraid?
1084
00:55:36,885 --> 00:55:38,231
- No.
- Oh, no, it looks like I'm
1085
00:55:38,231 --> 00:55:39,750
a fucking piece of fruit.
- House shark.
1086
00:55:39,750 --> 00:55:40,682
[Frank yelping]
1087
00:55:40,682 --> 00:55:41,855
House shark.
[Frank yelping]
1088
00:55:41,855 --> 00:55:43,167
House shark.
[Frank yelping]
1089
00:55:43,167 --> 00:55:44,341
House shark.
1090
00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:46,135
House shark.
1091
00:55:46,135 --> 00:55:47,689
[Frank grunting]
1092
00:55:47,689 --> 00:55:49,553
And what am I
supposed to tell Theo?
1093
00:55:49,553 --> 00:55:51,037
- I don't know.
1094
00:55:51,037 --> 00:55:52,590
Tell him that his dad
had a psychotic breakdown
1095
00:55:52,590 --> 00:55:54,558
and had to go away for awhile.
1096
00:55:54,558 --> 00:55:56,836
Look, I need to do this.
1097
00:55:56,836 --> 00:55:58,182
I want my life back.
1098
00:55:58,182 --> 00:56:00,357
I want my son back.
1099
00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:03,325
[Lady Bird sighing]
1100
00:56:04,222 --> 00:56:05,120
- Good luck, then.
1101
00:56:06,293 --> 00:56:08,537
We'll be waiting for you
when you finish this.
1102
00:56:08,537 --> 00:56:09,918
- Ve?
1103
00:56:09,918 --> 00:56:11,160
I, I, mean, we?
1104
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:12,576
- Yes.
1105
00:56:12,576 --> 00:56:15,130
We. [chuckling]
1106
00:56:24,588 --> 00:56:27,038
- Hey, Francis McDoodle pants,
1107
00:56:27,038 --> 00:56:31,077
when you're done kissing
Sponge Bob Ugly Face,
1108
00:56:31,077 --> 00:56:34,114
why don't you get over
here, time's a waistin'.
1109
00:56:34,114 --> 00:56:37,117
[Lady Bird sighing]
1110
00:56:42,329 --> 00:56:45,885
[ominous orchestral music]
1111
00:56:56,343 --> 00:56:57,966
- Zhe ex-wife, huh?
1112
00:56:57,966 --> 00:56:59,277
- No, duh.
1113
00:56:59,277 --> 00:57:00,451
- House shark,
1114
00:57:00,451 --> 00:57:02,384
house shark, oh.
- Cut the shit.
1115
00:57:04,731 --> 00:57:07,320
- [hissing] Enough gally gabbing
1116
00:57:08,459 --> 00:57:11,220
from you two teeny,
tiny, string bean,
1117
00:57:11,220 --> 00:57:13,222
little, bitty, penis men.
1118
00:57:14,569 --> 00:57:16,363
It's time to suit up.
1119
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:24,199
[flask clacking]
1120
00:57:32,241 --> 00:57:33,311
Let's move.
1121
00:57:33,311 --> 00:57:37,212
[atmospheric orchestral music]
1122
00:58:03,583 --> 00:58:06,275
[lock clicking]
1123
00:58:07,553 --> 00:58:09,486
- [Frank] What the hell?
1124
00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:11,488
We can't get out either?
1125
00:58:17,148 --> 00:58:18,943
- I don't want you
two faggots, here,
1126
00:58:18,943 --> 00:58:22,360
going at the first
sign of danger.
1127
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:23,672
It's all or nothin'.
1128
00:58:24,570 --> 00:58:25,432
- Where to?
1129
00:58:27,538 --> 00:58:30,023
- I say we check out the
room where the first to die.
1130
00:58:31,059 --> 00:58:32,923
- [Frank] This way, then.
1131
00:58:32,923 --> 00:58:36,513
[ominous orchestral music]
1132
00:58:53,633 --> 00:58:56,256
[tape tearing]
1133
00:59:06,750 --> 00:59:10,788
- Calling upon the
instincts of my ancestors,
1134
00:59:10,788 --> 00:59:13,480
Native American,
Blackfoot Tribe.
1135
00:59:14,654 --> 00:59:17,554
My keen skills as a
house shark hunter,
1136
00:59:19,003 --> 00:59:20,660
I'm certain the attack
1137
00:59:21,627 --> 00:59:23,663
happened in this vast
1138
00:59:23,663 --> 00:59:25,044
vicinity.
1139
00:59:26,010 --> 00:59:28,357
But mainly this area over here.
1140
00:59:31,429 --> 00:59:32,810
- It happened in the toilet.
1141
00:59:35,019 --> 00:59:38,022
- Ah, maybe she's
dropping depth chargers
1142
00:59:38,022 --> 00:59:39,886
on the Poseidon.
1143
00:59:39,886 --> 00:59:43,787
- [Frank] Yeah, she was dropping
the kids off at the pool.
1144
00:59:43,787 --> 00:59:47,100
[curtain scraping]
1145
00:59:47,100 --> 00:59:48,585
- Wait, vhat are you doing?
1146
00:59:48,585 --> 00:59:51,449
[Abraham grunting]
1147
00:59:51,449 --> 00:59:52,347
- It's called the,
1148
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,384
the lost art of patience.
1149
00:59:56,938 --> 01:00:01,943
A virtue that's faded among
queer folks such as yourself.
1150
01:00:03,082 --> 01:00:04,842
To answer your
question, we wait.
1151
01:00:04,842 --> 01:00:07,776
- And what do we do if
the house shark shows up?
1152
01:00:07,776 --> 01:00:09,433
- Oh, it,
1153
01:00:09,433 --> 01:00:10,883
it's a good question.
1154
01:00:10,883 --> 01:00:14,680
Um, you know, I heard
when a shark is attacking,
1155
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:18,269
you stick, um, two
fingers in its anus.
1156
01:00:18,269 --> 01:00:19,477
Try that.
1157
01:00:19,477 --> 01:00:20,582
- [Frank] What?
1158
01:00:20,582 --> 01:00:22,066
- For any large predator,
1159
01:00:22,066 --> 01:00:24,137
I've just heard you ram
your fist down its throat.
1160
01:00:24,137 --> 01:00:26,933
- I'm, I'm pretty sure
that only works on bears.
1161
01:00:26,933 --> 01:00:28,590
- A bear shark?
1162
01:00:28,590 --> 01:00:30,523
- No, just bears.
1163
01:00:30,523 --> 01:00:31,386
- A bear?
1164
01:00:32,525 --> 01:00:37,012
Mr. Roosevelt, we're
not talkin' about bear.
1165
01:00:37,012 --> 01:00:38,945
We're talkin' about shark.
1166
01:00:38,945 --> 01:00:39,774
House shark.
1167
01:00:39,774 --> 01:00:41,051
- I swear to God.
1168
01:00:41,051 --> 01:00:42,949
This would just
be so much easier,
1169
01:00:42,949 --> 01:00:45,780
if I could just blow
my head off right now.
1170
01:00:45,780 --> 01:00:47,195
- No, Frank.
1171
01:00:47,195 --> 01:00:48,817
Please.
1172
01:00:48,817 --> 01:00:51,820
- You two chumps just
worry about keepin' watch.
1173
01:00:51,820 --> 01:00:53,373
[ominous orchestral music]
1174
01:00:53,373 --> 01:00:56,653
[Abraham snoring]
1175
01:00:56,653 --> 01:01:00,208
[ominous orchestral music]
1176
01:01:16,742 --> 01:01:19,606
[liquid spurting]
1177
01:01:35,312 --> 01:01:36,796
- What you got in there?
1178
01:01:36,796 --> 01:01:38,971
- Oh, just some zings to
help with the house shark.
1179
01:01:38,971 --> 01:01:41,076
- Oh, yeah, like what?
1180
01:01:41,076 --> 01:01:43,838
- Just things. [sighing]
1181
01:01:43,838 --> 01:01:45,563
- Jeez, man, I'm sorry, I was,
1182
01:01:45,563 --> 01:01:46,737
I was just asking.
1183
01:01:47,945 --> 01:01:50,707
- Sorry, things are just
a bit tense right now.
1184
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:51,811
- It's okay, man.
1185
01:01:52,743 --> 01:01:53,779
Trust me, I know.
1186
01:01:55,884 --> 01:01:57,506
- Hey, let me show
you something.
1187
01:02:00,233 --> 01:02:00,958
- Whoa.
1188
01:02:01,787 --> 01:02:03,064
What's that?
1189
01:02:03,064 --> 01:02:04,548
- By your surprised expression,
1190
01:02:04,548 --> 01:02:07,171
I've bet you've never
seen vone of these before?
1191
01:02:07,171 --> 01:02:09,898
A variable, anomaly generator.
1192
01:02:09,898 --> 01:02:11,693
- It looks like a toy.
1193
01:02:11,693 --> 01:02:13,730
- Oh, it is far from zhat.
1194
01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:15,145
With one pull of the trigger,
1195
01:02:15,145 --> 01:02:19,218
I could blow zhe side of
this bathroom down. [blowing]
1196
01:02:19,218 --> 01:02:21,289
- You really think that'll
stop the house shark?
1197
01:02:21,289 --> 01:02:23,084
- [sighing] I'm not sure.
1198
01:02:23,084 --> 01:02:24,913
It could surprise it, maybe.
1199
01:02:24,913 --> 01:02:26,225
It surprises me.
1200
01:02:26,225 --> 01:02:27,674
- It scares me.
1201
01:02:27,674 --> 01:02:29,193
Can, can you put it away?
1202
01:02:29,193 --> 01:02:31,195
I don't even like looking at it.
1203
01:02:31,195 --> 01:02:33,542
- Yeah, I don't even
like touching this.
1204
01:02:33,542 --> 01:02:35,648
- This is all I need to take
care of that house shark.
1205
01:02:35,648 --> 01:02:38,340
- Ooh, a Beretta
nine millimeter.
1206
01:02:38,340 --> 01:02:40,964
- Yeah, now you know your guns.
1207
01:02:42,448 --> 01:02:46,314
Yep, one shot from this will
blow a man's dick clear off.
1208
01:02:46,314 --> 01:02:48,799
- Vell, this is no man we
are dealing with, Frank.
1209
01:02:48,799 --> 01:02:52,665
- Yeah, trust me, this
will get the job done.
1210
01:02:52,665 --> 01:02:53,942
[gun slide clacking]
1211
01:02:53,942 --> 01:02:55,012
- Is that the same
gun that you used
1212
01:02:55,012 --> 01:02:56,358
when you were on zhe force?
1213
01:02:57,601 --> 01:02:58,360
- Yeah.
1214
01:02:59,361 --> 01:03:00,846
Yeah, it was.
1215
01:03:00,846 --> 01:03:02,399
- Well you know Frank,
1216
01:03:02,399 --> 01:03:05,402
you never finished telling
me why you left the force.
1217
01:03:05,402 --> 01:03:06,610
- [sighing] I guess not.
1218
01:03:08,025 --> 01:03:09,061
It's a long story.
1219
01:03:09,061 --> 01:03:11,442
- Vell, all we have is time.
1220
01:03:11,442 --> 01:03:12,823
Besides, I'm vide awake.
1221
01:03:12,823 --> 01:03:15,067
I've had three
coffees, two No-Dozes,
1222
01:03:15,067 --> 01:03:17,172
and one Red Bull this morning.
1223
01:03:17,172 --> 01:03:18,001
- Alright.
1224
01:03:20,762 --> 01:03:24,352
[sighing] Well, it all
started about a year ago.
1225
01:03:24,352 --> 01:03:25,629
My partner, he got a call
1226
01:03:25,629 --> 01:03:29,702
to The Redwood Motel.
[Zachary snoring]
1227
01:03:30,945 --> 01:03:35,052
[Frank chuckling]
[Zachary snoring]
1228
01:03:35,052 --> 01:03:37,537
Goodnight, my sauerkraut prince.
1229
01:03:37,537 --> 01:03:41,093
[ominous orchestral music]
1230
01:03:43,543 --> 01:03:46,995
[Zachary snoring]
1231
01:03:46,995 --> 01:03:50,688
[clattering from toilet]
1232
01:03:50,688 --> 01:03:55,693
[ominous orchestral music]
[Zachary snoring]
1233
01:03:56,418 --> 01:03:59,214
[Zachary snoring]
1234
01:04:00,181 --> 01:04:02,942
[Zachary snoring]
1235
01:04:04,564 --> 01:04:09,569
[ominous orchestral music]
[Zachary snoring]
1236
01:04:19,717 --> 01:04:24,722
[Frank gasping]
[ominous orchestral music]
1237
01:04:53,648 --> 01:04:56,720
[entrails squishing]
1238
01:05:21,089 --> 01:05:24,127
[zipper unzipping]
1239
01:05:24,127 --> 01:05:27,785
[urine trickling]
1240
01:05:27,785 --> 01:05:32,790
[ominous orchestral music]
[urine trickling]
1241
01:05:33,515 --> 01:05:36,035
[urine trickling]
1242
01:05:36,035 --> 01:05:38,969
[urine trickling]
1243
01:05:38,969 --> 01:05:41,903
[urine trickling]
1244
01:05:41,903 --> 01:05:44,664
[urine trickling]
1245
01:05:44,664 --> 01:05:47,357
[urine trickling]
1246
01:05:47,357 --> 01:05:51,913
[urine trickling]
[ominous orchestral music]
1247
01:05:51,913 --> 01:05:56,711
[urine trickling]
[ominous orchestral music]
1248
01:05:56,711 --> 01:06:01,647
[urine trickling]
[ominous orchestral music]
1249
01:06:04,201 --> 01:06:06,790
- Oh, thank you, my my
[speaking in foreign language].
1250
01:06:06,790 --> 01:06:11,622
[urine trickling]
[ominous orchestral music]
1251
01:06:11,622 --> 01:06:12,451
Dude.
1252
01:06:12,451 --> 01:06:13,693
What the fuck?
1253
01:06:13,693 --> 01:06:15,764
You just gave me
the golden shower.
1254
01:06:15,764 --> 01:06:17,663
[urine trickling]
[dramatic orchestral music]
1255
01:06:17,663 --> 01:06:19,009
[Zachary gasping]
1256
01:06:19,009 --> 01:06:23,703
[dramatic orchestral music]
[urine trickling]
1257
01:06:24,428 --> 01:06:25,602
- Not on my watch.
1258
01:06:25,602 --> 01:06:27,052
face it off, Frank.
1259
01:06:27,052 --> 01:06:27,984
Get behind me.
1260
01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:31,608
[dramatic orchestral music]
1261
01:06:37,372 --> 01:06:40,168
- Why didn't it attack us?
1262
01:06:40,168 --> 01:06:41,721
[men screaming]
1263
01:06:41,721 --> 01:06:44,069
[men yelping]
1264
01:06:44,069 --> 01:06:49,074
[men wailing]
[shark chomping]
1265
01:06:49,833 --> 01:06:51,421
- [Zachary] Oh, my God.
1266
01:06:51,421 --> 01:06:56,046
[men wailing]
[shark chomping]
1267
01:06:56,046 --> 01:06:58,566
[men wailing]
1268
01:06:58,566 --> 01:06:59,429
- Oh,
1269
01:06:59,429 --> 01:07:00,809
guys,
1270
01:07:00,809 --> 01:07:01,603
he's gone.
1271
01:07:04,089 --> 01:07:05,400
- [Frank] Why didn't he kill us?
1272
01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:09,094
[Abraham grunting]
1273
01:07:09,094 --> 01:07:10,474
- Zhat was no house shark.
1274
01:07:11,958 --> 01:07:12,890
- Say what?
1275
01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:15,272
- Mm.
1276
01:07:15,272 --> 01:07:17,895
- Trust me, that was our beast.
1277
01:07:17,895 --> 01:07:22,038
- No, maybe a toilet
grizzly or sink piranha.
1278
01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:25,317
Maybe even a couch gator that's
wandered away from its herd,
1279
01:07:25,317 --> 01:07:27,595
whatever it was, that
was no house shark.
1280
01:07:30,529 --> 01:07:34,360
- Don't be telling me
my business, Mr. Taylor.
1281
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:36,949
We're not out here huntin'
hairbrush barracudas
1282
01:07:36,949 --> 01:07:38,537
and plunger orcas,
1283
01:07:38,537 --> 01:07:41,160
I think I know a house
shark when I seen one.
1284
01:07:42,506 --> 01:07:44,267
We need to move out.
1285
01:07:44,267 --> 01:07:46,200
We're gonna need more room,
1286
01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:49,444
if we wanna fight
this heathen bastard.
1287
01:07:49,444 --> 01:07:53,034
[ominous orchestral music]
1288
01:07:54,173 --> 01:07:57,383
Who is this outlaw who
drew a penis on me?
1289
01:07:57,383 --> 01:08:00,559
- Ah, maybe it was
the house shark?
1290
01:08:03,389 --> 01:08:04,252
- Damn
1291
01:08:04,252 --> 01:08:05,460
that evil
1292
01:08:05,460 --> 01:08:06,289
demon
1293
01:08:06,289 --> 01:08:07,117
boy.
1294
01:08:08,049 --> 01:08:11,811
[Abraham mumbling gibberish]
1295
01:08:12,916 --> 01:08:15,574
[water running]
1296
01:08:19,095 --> 01:08:20,026
Stay close.
1297
01:08:21,235 --> 01:08:23,616
[cross bow clattering]
1298
01:08:23,616 --> 01:08:26,516
[ominous orchestral music]
1299
01:08:26,516 --> 01:08:28,690
- Guys, we're gonna
get bigger guns, right?
1300
01:08:30,106 --> 01:08:30,934
Guys?
1301
01:08:32,073 --> 01:08:33,143
Hey.
1302
01:08:33,143 --> 01:08:34,455
Hey, wait for me.
1303
01:08:35,904 --> 01:08:39,667
[head thudding against wall]
1304
01:08:42,635 --> 01:08:45,293
[flask popping]
1305
01:08:46,294 --> 01:08:48,400
- Abraham, I was thinking,
1306
01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:51,161
instead of waiting for the
house shark to come and get us,
1307
01:08:51,161 --> 01:08:52,473
maybe we have some
things that can,
1308
01:08:52,473 --> 01:08:55,579
how do you say, draw
him out in zhe open?
1309
01:08:55,579 --> 01:08:56,822
- Like what?
1310
01:08:56,822 --> 01:09:00,308
- Hmm, glad you
asked. [chuckling]
1311
01:09:01,620 --> 01:09:05,658
[Zachary speaking
a foreign language]
1312
01:09:05,658 --> 01:09:07,143
No.
1313
01:09:07,143 --> 01:09:08,351
- Jimmy Cue cracks.
1314
01:09:09,455 --> 01:09:10,939
When I was a wheel hound,
1315
01:09:10,939 --> 01:09:13,459
every little scrap,
whether it be the well
1316
01:09:13,459 --> 01:09:14,909
or real estate broker.
1317
01:09:16,117 --> 01:09:16,945
- Ah,
1318
01:09:16,945 --> 01:09:17,808
I found it.
1319
01:09:20,259 --> 01:09:22,882
- What do you have there?
1320
01:09:22,882 --> 01:09:25,161
- It's a female
house shark costume.
1321
01:09:25,161 --> 01:09:26,162
- A what?
1322
01:09:26,162 --> 01:09:28,647
- A female house shark costume.
1323
01:09:28,647 --> 01:09:32,029
- It looks like a regular
shark costume to me.
1324
01:09:32,029 --> 01:09:33,686
- Vhat? You don't zee the apron?
1325
01:09:35,136 --> 01:09:38,174
- So one of us gets in the suit.
1326
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:40,555
Goes out into the house.
1327
01:09:40,555 --> 01:09:42,626
Presents his anus.
1328
01:09:42,626 --> 01:09:44,456
Our anus,
1329
01:09:44,456 --> 01:09:46,837
Shark's in the house.
1330
01:09:46,837 --> 01:09:49,081
Hope the shark
thinks it's a vagina.
1331
01:09:49,909 --> 01:09:51,601
Our shark?
1332
01:09:51,601 --> 01:09:53,396
- Yeah, pretty much.
1333
01:09:53,396 --> 01:09:54,949
- Sounds good to me.
1334
01:10:00,886 --> 01:10:03,751
- Well, I am not wearing
a women's costume.
1335
01:10:03,751 --> 01:10:05,062
- I'm paying you $10 G's.
1336
01:10:05,062 --> 01:10:06,271
You well what I say.
1337
01:10:08,618 --> 01:10:09,688
- Ah, Abraham.
1338
01:10:11,137 --> 01:10:14,071
Was that name badge from the
Syracuse Parade Of Houses?
1339
01:10:15,866 --> 01:10:17,627
- Ah, yes, it is.
1340
01:10:17,627 --> 01:10:21,044
- Were you in the Syracuse
Parade of Houses in '04?
1341
01:10:22,528 --> 01:10:23,943
- Aye, I was.
1342
01:10:23,943 --> 01:10:26,049
- Wait, what's the
Syracuse Parade of Houses?
1343
01:10:27,188 --> 01:10:28,431
Oh, wait, I think
I've read about that.
1344
01:10:28,431 --> 01:10:29,949
That's when they--
1345
01:10:29,949 --> 01:10:32,262
- Syracuse Parade of Houses.
[ominous orchestral music]
1346
01:10:32,262 --> 01:10:33,367
2004.
1347
01:10:34,540 --> 01:10:37,233
Biggest home sales
event in the Northeast.
1348
01:10:38,544 --> 01:10:40,615
Hundreds of families
touring homes.
1349
01:10:40,615 --> 01:10:42,134
All across Central New York.
1350
01:10:43,239 --> 01:10:44,999
I was the head realtor
for that event.
1351
01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:48,244
It was a normal day.
1352
01:10:49,245 --> 01:10:50,591
Sun shining bright.
1353
01:10:52,386 --> 01:10:54,457
I was poised to make
hundreds of thousands.
1354
01:10:56,976 --> 01:10:59,496
But I knew something
was off that day.
1355
01:11:01,118 --> 01:11:04,190
Storm clouds on the horizon.
1356
01:11:04,190 --> 01:11:06,123
Seemed to hover there.
1357
01:11:06,123 --> 01:11:08,022
Like a storm was brewin'.
1358
01:11:09,472 --> 01:11:10,714
I didn't get the fast hand
1359
01:11:10,714 --> 01:11:12,475
that anything was up
'til about lunchtime.
1360
01:11:14,339 --> 01:11:16,237
A couple missed
their second showing.
1361
01:11:17,583 --> 01:11:19,654
Another family disappeared
on the second floor.
1362
01:11:21,242 --> 01:11:23,831
I thought they'd slipped
out before I could give them
1363
01:11:23,831 --> 01:11:25,798
the old fashioned
hard press, you know?
1364
01:11:27,938 --> 01:11:30,044
But then, I saw my buddy.
1365
01:11:31,390 --> 01:11:32,253
My co-worker.
1366
01:11:33,116 --> 01:11:33,944
Tommy Jefferson.
1367
01:11:35,187 --> 01:11:36,395
He was a young guy.
1368
01:11:36,395 --> 01:11:40,330
30's, but looked like 12
like Mr. Taylor, here.
1369
01:11:42,677 --> 01:11:45,231
I thought I was he was
sitting, resting in a chair.
1370
01:11:47,648 --> 01:11:49,443
I put my hand on his shoulder,
1371
01:11:50,651 --> 01:11:51,893
and he fell over.
1372
01:11:53,826 --> 01:11:57,347
He was bitten in half.
1373
01:11:57,347 --> 01:11:59,107
After that, chaos broke out.
1374
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:02,318
People were running
and screaming.
1375
01:12:03,180 --> 01:12:05,390
There were blood, guts, balls,
1376
01:12:06,529 --> 01:12:08,116
vaginas.
1377
01:12:08,116 --> 01:12:08,945
Human insides.
1378
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:12,811
Half digested clam chowder,
if you know what I mean?
1379
01:12:14,675 --> 01:12:15,572
It was everywhere.
1380
01:12:16,746 --> 01:12:19,196
That's when I saw him
for the first time.
1381
01:12:19,196 --> 01:12:20,508
The house shark.
1382
01:12:21,440 --> 01:12:23,062
He had the blackest of eyes.
1383
01:12:24,270 --> 01:12:25,099
Cold
1384
01:12:25,099 --> 01:12:25,927
and dark.
1385
01:12:27,412 --> 01:12:30,035
Like a porn star's anus
before it's bleached.
1386
01:12:32,209 --> 01:12:33,728
He lunged at me.
1387
01:12:33,728 --> 01:12:37,214
He bit off both my
arms, my legs, my head.
1388
01:12:37,214 --> 01:12:39,665
All in three quick moves.
1389
01:12:39,665 --> 01:12:41,495
- Your head?
1390
01:12:41,495 --> 01:12:44,394
- I woke up three days
later in the hospital.
1391
01:12:45,533 --> 01:12:46,914
The good doctor's had managed
1392
01:12:46,914 --> 01:12:48,433
to stitch me all back together.
1393
01:12:50,435 --> 01:12:53,092
I'm not sure how many
people died that day.
1394
01:12:53,092 --> 01:12:54,197
Three,
1395
01:12:54,197 --> 01:12:55,232
four,
1396
01:12:55,232 --> 01:12:56,372
maybe none.
1397
01:12:56,372 --> 01:12:58,132
I don't know.
1398
01:12:58,132 --> 01:12:59,927
I never saw the
house shark again.
1399
01:13:00,928 --> 01:13:02,930
That is, well, not 'til today.
1400
01:13:04,034 --> 01:13:05,519
Came close a few times.
1401
01:13:06,382 --> 01:13:08,073
Could always sense him near.
1402
01:13:10,558 --> 01:13:12,353
But he managed to allude me.
1403
01:13:14,804 --> 01:13:17,427
I'll never sell another
house again, Mr. Roosevelt,
1404
01:13:18,601 --> 01:13:20,119
But I will kill
that house shark,
1405
01:13:20,119 --> 01:13:21,845
if it's the last thing I do.
1406
01:13:27,644 --> 01:13:29,612
Life can terrible, yes.
1407
01:13:29,612 --> 01:13:30,820
But we push on.
1408
01:13:32,131 --> 01:13:33,650
'Cause that's what we do.
1409
01:13:34,651 --> 01:13:35,687
We're Americans.
1410
01:13:37,309 --> 01:13:40,381
We stand together as
a family and we fight.
1411
01:13:42,625 --> 01:13:44,489
God bless you and your family.
1412
01:13:46,525 --> 01:13:48,216
God bless, America.
1413
01:13:53,946 --> 01:13:57,294
[hand patting on back]
- Yeah,
1414
01:13:57,294 --> 01:13:58,261
America.
1415
01:14:02,852 --> 01:14:06,303
[Abraham slurping booze]
1416
01:14:08,996 --> 01:14:10,929
- Hey, Frank, you never
finished telling me
1417
01:14:10,929 --> 01:14:12,620
vhy you left the force.
1418
01:14:12,620 --> 01:14:14,346
- Oh, yeah, that.
[jarring orchestral music]
1419
01:14:14,346 --> 01:14:16,141
I wanna make a long story short,
1420
01:14:16,141 --> 01:14:17,832
one day my partner and I--
1421
01:14:17,832 --> 01:14:19,800
- We don't have time
for this sausage fest.
1422
01:14:19,800 --> 01:14:20,870
House shark.
1423
01:14:20,870 --> 01:14:22,458
- [Frank] What, goddammit.
1424
01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:23,666
- That must be a 10 footer.
1425
01:14:23,666 --> 01:14:26,462
A, a couple meters, sure.
1426
01:14:26,462 --> 01:14:29,465
- 14 foot to be exact,
no less than one ton.
1427
01:14:31,121 --> 01:14:33,745
Shoot him boys, shoot it down.
1428
01:14:33,745 --> 01:14:35,229
- [Frank] We're gonna
need a bigger house.
1429
01:14:35,229 --> 01:14:36,989
- It's all about size
with you, isn't it, Frank?
1430
01:14:36,989 --> 01:14:38,128
- [Frank] No.
1431
01:14:38,128 --> 01:14:39,405
So what do we do?
1432
01:14:39,405 --> 01:14:40,614
- I need you to go
out there, Frank.
1433
01:14:40,614 --> 01:14:42,305
- [Frank] Get closer, what?
1434
01:14:42,305 --> 01:14:43,340
No
1435
01:14:43,340 --> 01:14:44,652
way.
- Yes, go closer,
1436
01:14:44,652 --> 01:14:46,136
turn around and provoke.
1437
01:14:46,136 --> 01:14:47,413
- [Frank] I can't
provoke, you're insane.
1438
01:14:47,413 --> 01:14:49,450
- Yes, show your
lady parts to him.
1439
01:14:49,450 --> 01:14:51,832
- [Frank] Oh, you know, you
show your lady parts at him.
1440
01:14:51,832 --> 01:14:53,316
- The only reason
why we're still alive
1441
01:14:53,316 --> 01:14:55,145
is because he thinks
you are female,
1442
01:14:55,145 --> 01:14:57,044
so go out there,
let him mount you,
1443
01:14:57,044 --> 01:14:58,804
and I have some drugs that
will knock him out later.
1444
01:14:58,804 --> 01:15:01,531
- [Frank] I am not letting a
house shark have sex with me.
1445
01:15:01,531 --> 01:15:03,050
- [Zachary] Oh, just
let him put the tip in.
1446
01:15:03,050 --> 01:15:04,879
- The tip?
- Oh, God,
1447
01:15:04,879 --> 01:15:06,916
just go out there
before he attacks us.
1448
01:15:07,813 --> 01:15:11,576
- Out of the way.
1449
01:15:11,576 --> 01:15:12,749
Where'd he go?
1450
01:15:13,992 --> 01:15:15,269
[jarring orchestral music]
1451
01:15:15,269 --> 01:15:16,166
[men gasping]
1452
01:15:16,166 --> 01:15:17,789
How'd he get behind us?
1453
01:15:17,789 --> 01:15:19,066
[gun whirring]
1454
01:15:19,066 --> 01:15:20,446
[gun beeping]
1455
01:15:20,446 --> 01:15:21,724
He's got a gun.
1456
01:15:21,724 --> 01:15:24,347
[gun whirring]
1457
01:15:25,762 --> 01:15:28,006
[laser pinging]
[wall sizzling]
1458
01:15:28,006 --> 01:15:30,767
[dramatic orchestral music]
1459
01:15:30,767 --> 01:15:32,597
Zachary, get behind me.
1460
01:15:32,597 --> 01:15:34,668
Our newest friend's rock hard,
1461
01:15:34,668 --> 01:15:36,428
chiseled [mumbling].
1462
01:15:36,428 --> 01:15:38,568
- What, what are you
talking about, I'm not dead?
1463
01:15:38,568 --> 01:15:41,053
- Ah, go to the light, my son.
1464
01:15:41,053 --> 01:15:42,296
Go and be.
1465
01:15:42,296 --> 01:15:44,954
- I don't fight,
I vant him alive.
1466
01:15:44,954 --> 01:15:46,611
[gun whirring]
- Huh?
1467
01:15:46,611 --> 01:15:48,371
[arrow swooshing]
[arrow thuds in shark]
1468
01:15:48,371 --> 01:15:50,753
[Frank grunting]
[shark gun clacking]
1469
01:15:50,753 --> 01:15:54,446
[dramatic orchestral music]
1470
01:15:57,000 --> 01:16:00,003
[needle clattering]
1471
01:16:07,632 --> 01:16:09,772
- Oh, vammit, Abraham.
1472
01:16:09,772 --> 01:16:12,602
You scared him off. [sighing]
1473
01:16:12,602 --> 01:16:14,293
[hand bangs against floor]
[Zachary grunting]
1474
01:16:14,293 --> 01:16:15,674
You idiot,
1475
01:16:15,674 --> 01:16:18,815
he is gone, you
should have waited.
1476
01:16:18,815 --> 01:16:22,681
- What did you mean when you
said you wanted him alive?
1477
01:16:22,681 --> 01:16:26,512
- Me, I said that?
No. [laughing]
1478
01:16:26,512 --> 01:16:28,376
My English is bad.
1479
01:16:28,376 --> 01:16:29,930
- Oh, Mr. Taylor?
1480
01:16:32,657 --> 01:16:34,969
You've got some
explaining to do.
1481
01:16:34,969 --> 01:16:39,974
- Oh, [whimpering] give
it back. [whimpering]
1482
01:16:41,527 --> 01:16:42,356
Oh, no.
1483
01:16:44,254 --> 01:16:48,258
[Zachary gasping]
- Get talkin'.
1484
01:16:50,675 --> 01:16:52,573
- I guess I can drop
the fake accent.
1485
01:16:53,401 --> 01:16:54,299
- It was fake?
1486
01:16:54,299 --> 01:16:55,265
[Abraham chuckling]
1487
01:16:55,265 --> 01:16:57,474
What, like you knew?
1488
01:16:57,474 --> 01:16:59,062
- Actually, I did.
1489
01:16:59,062 --> 01:17:00,926
- Ah, no you didn't.
[ominous orchestral music]
1490
01:17:00,926 --> 01:17:03,515
- Totally did.
- Will you morons, shut up?
1491
01:17:03,515 --> 01:17:04,861
[hand slapping back of head]
Oh.
1492
01:17:04,861 --> 01:17:06,898
[atmospheric orchestral music]
1493
01:17:06,898 --> 01:17:08,865
It was just an experiment.
1494
01:17:08,865 --> 01:17:10,418
I was still a teen, practically.
1495
01:17:10,418 --> 01:17:11,937
- What kind of experiment?
1496
01:17:12,869 --> 01:17:14,630
- I'm a private scientist.
1497
01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:16,079
I had some leftover plutonium,
1498
01:17:16,079 --> 01:17:19,289
that I had from a contract
with the USA Military.
1499
01:17:19,289 --> 01:17:21,533
Only this was no
ordinary plutonium.
1500
01:17:21,533 --> 01:17:23,431
It was highly weaponized.
1501
01:17:23,431 --> 01:17:25,675
We were testing it on animals.
1502
01:17:25,675 --> 01:17:28,920
It was designed to rapidly
increase their intelligence.
1503
01:17:28,920 --> 01:17:32,613
To give them knowledge on
weapons and hand-to-hand combat,
1504
01:17:32,613 --> 01:17:36,513
and superpowers, such as
camouflage and transmutation.
1505
01:17:36,513 --> 01:17:38,239
But it didn't work.
1506
01:17:38,239 --> 01:17:39,724
It should have.
1507
01:17:39,724 --> 01:17:43,003
I ran the computations over
and over again, but it didn't.
1508
01:17:43,003 --> 01:17:44,556
So I thought I would use it.
1509
01:17:44,556 --> 01:17:46,938
Use it on myself, to well,
1510
01:17:46,938 --> 01:17:49,595
you're gonna think
this sounds crazy.
1511
01:17:49,595 --> 01:17:51,597
- Crazier than this?
1512
01:17:51,597 --> 01:17:53,323
I doubt it.
1513
01:17:53,323 --> 01:17:55,981
- I wanted to give myself
Spider-Man superpowers.
1514
01:17:57,396 --> 01:17:59,985
- Okay, you're right,
that is crazier.
1515
01:17:59,985 --> 01:18:02,229
- I just thought it
would be so cool.
1516
01:18:02,229 --> 01:18:05,681
For once in my life, to
finally score with some babes.
1517
01:18:07,096 --> 01:18:10,996
- Yeah, I mean, Spider-Man
powers are cool and all,
1518
01:18:10,996 --> 01:18:13,689
but I prefer Mysterio myself.
1519
01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:15,518
- Mysterio, really?
1520
01:18:15,518 --> 01:18:19,108
- Ah, yeah, he's
Spider-Man's greatest enemy.
1521
01:18:19,108 --> 01:18:21,006
That and I just kinda
think he's cool.
1522
01:18:22,180 --> 01:18:23,422
- That is so dumb.
1523
01:18:23,422 --> 01:18:24,665
- I was mixing it in my lab,
1524
01:18:24,665 --> 01:18:26,563
when suddenly,
something went wrong.
1525
01:18:26,563 --> 01:18:28,427
There was an explosion.
1526
01:18:28,427 --> 01:18:30,602
When I woke up, my
shark had been exposed
1527
01:18:30,602 --> 01:18:33,018
to what should have been a
deadly dose of radiation.
1528
01:18:33,018 --> 01:18:34,502
But he didn't die.
1529
01:18:34,502 --> 01:18:37,782
No, Woodrow had
transformed into that beast
1530
01:18:37,782 --> 01:18:39,611
that we saw today.
1531
01:18:39,611 --> 01:18:40,716
I could tell immediately,
1532
01:18:40,716 --> 01:18:42,856
that its intelligence
had increased.
1533
01:18:42,856 --> 01:18:44,409
But it didn't kill me.
1534
01:18:44,409 --> 01:18:47,136
It was confused and
jumped into the sink.
1535
01:18:47,136 --> 01:18:49,690
Then it disappeared, and
I didn't see it again.
1536
01:18:49,690 --> 01:18:50,933
Until today.
1537
01:18:50,933 --> 01:18:52,382
- Okay, so you created it.
1538
01:18:53,832 --> 01:18:55,731
That means you must
know how to kill it.
1539
01:18:55,731 --> 01:18:57,974
- Maybe, but he's evolved.
1540
01:18:57,974 --> 01:19:01,184
He's faster, much
bigger, and smarter.
1541
01:19:02,565 --> 01:19:03,773
I thought I could capture him,
1542
01:19:03,773 --> 01:19:05,948
and just do some
testing at my lab,
1543
01:19:05,948 --> 01:19:08,571
but after what I saw today,
1544
01:19:08,571 --> 01:19:10,815
I know our only
option is to kill him.
1545
01:19:10,815 --> 01:19:12,920
- Okay, shark expert.
1546
01:19:12,920 --> 01:19:15,716
How do you suppose we do that?
1547
01:19:15,716 --> 01:19:16,544
- The gun.
1548
01:19:17,545 --> 01:19:19,202
That would stop him, right?
1549
01:19:19,202 --> 01:19:20,031
- [Abraham] Gun?
1550
01:19:20,031 --> 01:19:21,618
- The variable, onumous,
1551
01:19:22,654 --> 01:19:24,035
the ray gun.
1552
01:19:24,035 --> 01:19:25,553
- You have a ray gun?
1553
01:19:25,553 --> 01:19:27,141
- The gun won't stop it.
1554
01:19:27,141 --> 01:19:29,903
It will hurt it, maybe
subdue it for awhile,
1555
01:19:29,903 --> 01:19:32,560
but house sharks have the
power of regeneration.
1556
01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:33,803
It can't kill it.
1557
01:19:33,803 --> 01:19:35,322
- So you're saying
we can't stop him?
1558
01:19:35,322 --> 01:19:38,221
Then why would you send us
in on a suicide mission?
1559
01:19:38,221 --> 01:19:40,637
- No, there might be a way.
1560
01:19:40,637 --> 01:19:41,707
At least I think.
1561
01:19:43,019 --> 01:19:45,056
Like I said, it was exposed
to enough radiation,
1562
01:19:45,056 --> 01:19:46,747
that it should have killed it.
1563
01:19:46,747 --> 01:19:49,508
Maybe if we expose it
to a bit more plutonium,
1564
01:19:49,508 --> 01:19:51,269
it can cause a chain reaction.
1565
01:19:51,269 --> 01:19:53,374
One that will
cause an explosion.
1566
01:19:53,374 --> 01:19:55,791
One that it can't
come back from.
1567
01:19:55,791 --> 01:19:56,964
- But you aren't certain?
1568
01:19:56,964 --> 01:19:59,311
- I saw it in a
Godzilla movie once.
1569
01:19:59,311 --> 01:20:00,623
The theory is sound.
1570
01:20:01,520 --> 01:20:04,040
- How to you plan to induce
1571
01:20:04,040 --> 01:20:05,352
this
1572
01:20:05,352 --> 01:20:06,698
reaction?
1573
01:20:06,698 --> 01:20:09,080
- Well, I have some
plutonium in my bag.
1574
01:20:13,809 --> 01:20:14,637
It's, it's gone.
1575
01:20:15,811 --> 01:20:18,675
You, you went in my
pack and you took it.
1576
01:20:18,675 --> 01:20:19,918
- I don't know what
you're talking about.
1577
01:20:19,918 --> 01:20:21,299
I didn't take anything.
1578
01:20:21,299 --> 01:20:22,887
[crossbow whacks against back]
1579
01:20:22,887 --> 01:20:26,994
- Enough of this
scientific mumbo-jumbo.
1580
01:20:26,994 --> 01:20:30,032
Thou shark's still
an animal, right?
1581
01:20:30,032 --> 01:20:31,688
We've seen it bleed.
1582
01:20:32,551 --> 01:20:34,415
If it bleeds, we can kill it.
1583
01:20:34,415 --> 01:20:36,417
And if we can kill
it, it'll be dead.
1584
01:20:36,417 --> 01:20:38,350
If it's dead, it won't be alive.
1585
01:20:38,350 --> 01:20:42,320
And we will run the
organs, the house shark.
1586
01:20:42,320 --> 01:20:45,771
And we'll celebrate with
whiskey on our lips,
1587
01:20:45,771 --> 01:20:48,498
and ladies in our laps
[gurgling], gentlemen,
1588
01:20:49,879 --> 01:20:52,537
for you.
- What are you suggesting?
1589
01:20:52,537 --> 01:20:57,335
- [grunting] I'm suggesting we
do it the old fashioned way.
1590
01:20:57,335 --> 01:20:59,440
With how we say,
1591
01:20:59,440 --> 01:21:00,786
good ole,
1592
01:21:00,786 --> 01:21:02,616
American firepower.
1593
01:21:03,513 --> 01:21:04,687
And some,
1594
01:21:04,687 --> 01:21:05,861
some know how.
1595
01:21:06,931 --> 01:21:08,242
[gun pulley clacking]
1596
01:21:08,242 --> 01:21:09,416
- Sounds good to me.
1597
01:21:10,796 --> 01:21:12,453
What's the first step?
1598
01:21:12,453 --> 01:21:15,594
- Where's the lady
[groaning] costume?
1599
01:21:29,229 --> 01:21:30,816
- You really think
this will work?
1600
01:21:30,816 --> 01:21:35,821
- Absolutely, you brought
the, ah, prophylactics, right?
1601
01:21:36,546 --> 01:21:39,308
- Pro... [sighing].
1602
01:21:40,378 --> 01:21:43,208
[Abraham sighing]
1603
01:21:44,106 --> 01:21:47,592
♪ He was a saucy sailor boy
1604
01:21:47,592 --> 01:21:52,217
♪ Who came from afar
1605
01:21:52,217 --> 01:21:55,565
♪ Dressed and made
to be the bride ♪
1606
01:21:55,565 --> 01:22:00,018
♪ Of poor Jack Tar
1607
01:22:00,018 --> 01:22:04,160
♪ The maiden, a
poor fisher girl ♪
1608
01:22:04,160 --> 01:22:08,371
♪ She stored close by his side
1609
01:22:08,371 --> 01:22:11,236
♪ She answered with
a scornful look ♪
1610
01:22:11,236 --> 01:22:15,482
♪ Thus I'll not be arised
1611
01:22:15,482 --> 01:22:18,692
♪ You're mad to
think I'd marry you ♪
1612
01:22:18,692 --> 01:22:22,213
♪ Too ragged that you are
1613
01:22:22,213 --> 01:22:24,698
♪ Begone ya saucy sailor boy
1614
01:22:24,698 --> 01:22:27,045
♪ Begone you Jack Tar
1615
01:22:27,045 --> 01:22:30,911
♪ With money in
my pocket, love ♪
1616
01:22:30,911 --> 01:22:34,121
♪ And a bright golden star
1617
01:22:34,121 --> 01:22:36,813
♪ These clothes
of mine in rags ♪
1618
01:22:36,813 --> 01:22:40,334
♪ But karma [mumbling]
1619
01:22:40,334 --> 01:22:42,509
♪ Though black my hands,
my gold is clean ♪
1620
01:22:42,509 --> 01:22:44,890
♪ So I'll sail afar
1621
01:22:44,890 --> 01:22:47,169
♪ A fairer maid
then you I ween ♪
1622
01:22:47,169 --> 01:22:49,378
♪ You little Jack Tar
1623
01:22:49,378 --> 01:22:54,383
♪ Slay, slay, you
saucy sailor boy ♪
1624
01:22:54,383 --> 01:22:57,524
♪ Do not sail afar
[floor boards cracking]
1625
01:22:57,524 --> 01:22:59,491
♪ I love you, will marry you
[floor boards cracking]
1626
01:22:59,491 --> 01:23:02,080
♪ You silly Jack Tar
[floor boards cracking]
1627
01:23:02,080 --> 01:23:03,150
[dramatic orchestral music]
1628
01:23:03,150 --> 01:23:04,703
[shark bashing through boards]
1629
01:23:04,703 --> 01:23:07,189
[Abraham and Frank gasping]
[dramatic orchestral music]
1630
01:23:07,189 --> 01:23:10,192
[Zachary screaming]
1631
01:23:16,819 --> 01:23:21,824
[shark's teeth chomping]
[Frank gasping]
1632
01:23:25,069 --> 01:23:27,450
[chair clacks against floor]
[shark's teeth chomping]
1633
01:23:27,450 --> 01:23:28,624
- House shark?
1634
01:23:30,315 --> 01:23:35,320
Look at me, I'm kissing your
girlfriend. [mimics kissing]
1635
01:23:36,597 --> 01:23:39,221
Ah, she's so pretty,
I think I love her.
1636
01:23:40,187 --> 01:23:42,879
[dramatic orchestral music]
1637
01:23:42,879 --> 01:23:44,985
[bow clicking]
[arrow thudding in shark]
1638
01:23:44,985 --> 01:23:46,918
[shark thudding against body]
[Abraham grunting]
1639
01:23:46,918 --> 01:23:49,817
[Abraham groaning]
1640
01:23:53,925 --> 01:23:57,584
[gun firing]
[Abraham groaning]
1641
01:23:57,584 --> 01:24:00,621
[Abraham whimpering]
1642
01:24:02,347 --> 01:24:07,352
[Abraham yelping]
[feet thudding against shark]
1643
01:24:08,802 --> 01:24:12,392
[Abraham mumbling gibberish]
[feet thudding against shark]
1644
01:24:13,462 --> 01:24:15,188
Who the hell are you?
1645
01:24:17,293 --> 01:24:18,225
- Damn squatters.
1646
01:24:19,123 --> 01:24:20,952
- Ah, damn foreigners.
1647
01:24:20,952 --> 01:24:25,957
[head thudding against shark]
[dramatic orchestral music]
1648
01:24:28,856 --> 01:24:33,275
[bones cracking]
[flesh tearing]
1649
01:24:33,275 --> 01:24:34,241
- Get out the way.
1650
01:24:34,241 --> 01:24:37,313
- Don't wait for me.
1651
01:24:37,313 --> 01:24:39,074
No, no, no, wait, wait.
1652
01:24:39,074 --> 01:24:40,661
- Move.
1653
01:24:40,661 --> 01:24:43,871
[electronic pinging]
1654
01:24:43,871 --> 01:24:47,047
[hand tapping on gun]
1655
01:24:49,084 --> 01:24:53,881
[cage scraping on floor]
[Zachary screaming]
1656
01:24:53,881 --> 01:24:57,092
[Zachary screaming]
1657
01:24:57,092 --> 01:25:01,268
[Zachary screaming]
[blood spurting]
1658
01:25:01,268 --> 01:25:04,789
[Zachary screaming]
1659
01:25:04,789 --> 01:25:08,103
[Zachary screaming]
1660
01:25:08,103 --> 01:25:11,106
[Zachary screaming]
1661
01:25:14,730 --> 01:25:15,558
What do we do?
1662
01:25:16,939 --> 01:25:19,735
- Too tight of quarters
to go after him.
1663
01:25:19,735 --> 01:25:21,564
We need a new plan.
1664
01:25:21,564 --> 01:25:22,876
- Well what about Zachary?
1665
01:25:23,946 --> 01:25:26,397
- Forget that
commie, Nazi bastard.
1666
01:25:26,397 --> 01:25:27,708
He's on his own.
1667
01:25:32,368 --> 01:25:35,060
[Frank sighing]
1668
01:25:36,303 --> 01:25:39,134
[Zachary moaning]
1669
01:25:40,307 --> 01:25:43,138
[Zachary sighing]
1670
01:25:44,380 --> 01:25:48,073
[Zachary breathing heavily]
1671
01:25:53,838 --> 01:25:58,739
- [whimpering] They
just left me with him.
1672
01:26:00,016 --> 01:26:03,882
I'll get them for this.
[ooze squirting]
1673
01:26:03,882 --> 01:26:07,265
[hand whacking against gun]
1674
01:26:07,265 --> 01:26:09,854
- [sighing] It's
of no use anymore.
1675
01:26:12,028 --> 01:26:12,891
- Last arrow.
1676
01:26:15,653 --> 01:26:17,379
- Final magazine.
1677
01:26:17,379 --> 01:26:19,795
[magazine clacking in gun]
[gun pulley clacking]
1678
01:26:19,795 --> 01:26:22,004
Look, maybe we
should just leave?
1679
01:26:22,004 --> 01:26:23,454
You know, re-equip ourselves,
1680
01:26:23,454 --> 01:26:26,215
now that we better know what
we're dealing with here.
1681
01:26:26,215 --> 01:26:27,078
- We can't.
1682
01:26:29,943 --> 01:26:32,842
- Look, you need to put
this personal grudge
1683
01:26:32,842 --> 01:26:34,706
that you have going on
with the house shark aside,
1684
01:26:34,706 --> 01:26:37,744
and realize that we
can't do this alone.
1685
01:26:37,744 --> 01:26:38,641
We need
1686
01:26:38,641 --> 01:26:39,711
help.
1687
01:26:39,711 --> 01:26:41,299
- Francis, my boy, [mumbling].
1688
01:26:42,887 --> 01:26:44,475
We're best friends 'til the end.
1689
01:26:45,924 --> 01:26:49,238
It's just a little matter
of me passing this key.
1690
01:26:49,238 --> 01:26:50,101
- Oh, gross.
1691
01:26:51,827 --> 01:26:54,726
You know, maybe we should just
let the house shark eat us.
1692
01:27:00,076 --> 01:27:01,077
Think Zachary's dead?
1693
01:27:01,975 --> 01:27:03,666
- Dead and shat out.
1694
01:27:04,702 --> 01:27:07,360
[phone buzzing]
1695
01:27:08,223 --> 01:27:09,051
- Oh, look.
1696
01:27:10,086 --> 01:27:10,915
He's alive.
1697
01:27:12,296 --> 01:27:14,850
- Well, we'll use that
gadget to call for help.
1698
01:27:14,850 --> 01:27:16,403
[floor boards creaking]
[dramatic orchestral music]
1699
01:27:16,403 --> 01:27:17,439
- What is that?
1700
01:27:17,439 --> 01:27:18,716
- Looks like someone's back
1701
01:27:18,716 --> 01:27:21,684
for the old, noon
time Flipper fin.
1702
01:27:21,684 --> 01:27:23,721
[clattering from walls]
1703
01:27:23,721 --> 01:27:25,654
- Where is he?
1704
01:27:25,654 --> 01:27:28,726
[Frank screaming]
1705
01:27:28,726 --> 01:27:32,419
[gun whirring and clacking]
[Frank gasping]
1706
01:27:32,419 --> 01:27:34,801
- We're almost to [mumbling].
1707
01:27:34,801 --> 01:27:37,804
It's been a pleasure
workin' with...
1708
01:27:38,908 --> 01:27:40,841
- It's been an
honor, Mr. Lincoln.
1709
01:27:40,841 --> 01:27:42,705
[dramatic orchestral music]
1710
01:27:42,705 --> 01:27:45,260
[gun beeping]
1711
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:46,226
[bat whacks against gun]
1712
01:27:46,226 --> 01:27:47,641
[gun shattering against floor]
1713
01:27:47,641 --> 01:27:50,299
[bat thudding against shark]
- No fish or mammal
1714
01:27:50,299 --> 01:27:53,164
or anything gonna
deny me a house sale.
1715
01:27:53,164 --> 01:27:55,166
- You've been in
here the whole time?
1716
01:27:55,166 --> 01:27:58,618
Is that you, dog?
[bat thudding against shark]
1717
01:27:58,618 --> 01:27:59,964
- Sorry, I was
hiding in a closet,
1718
01:27:59,964 --> 01:28:03,001
and I got locked in
and I couldn't get out,
1719
01:28:03,001 --> 01:28:05,418
but that flash must
have dislodged the lock.
1720
01:28:06,798 --> 01:28:07,765
- You're just in time.
[bat thudding against shark]
1721
01:28:07,765 --> 01:28:09,422
What's the plan?
1722
01:28:09,422 --> 01:28:12,079
- I'm gonna do what they do in
all the mutant shark movies,
1723
01:28:12,079 --> 01:28:13,426
and the first Men In Black,
1724
01:28:14,841 --> 01:28:15,876
I'm goin' in.
1725
01:28:15,876 --> 01:28:17,188
[grenade pin clicking]
1726
01:28:17,188 --> 01:28:19,224
[Ronald screaming]
1727
01:28:19,224 --> 01:28:24,229
[bones cracking]
[flesh tearing]
1728
01:28:24,954 --> 01:28:26,024
- Grab some cover.
1729
01:28:26,024 --> 01:28:29,994
[dramatic orchestral music]
1730
01:28:29,994 --> 01:28:32,824
[flesh squishing]
1731
01:28:34,792 --> 01:28:37,208
[grenade exploding]
1732
01:28:37,208 --> 01:28:40,453
[shark shrieking]
1733
01:28:40,453 --> 01:28:41,316
- Shit.
1734
01:28:52,085 --> 01:28:54,398
I think he'll be
back for dessert.
1735
01:28:54,398 --> 01:28:55,951
- Preferably a
1736
01:28:55,951 --> 01:28:57,055
banana split.
1737
01:28:58,263 --> 01:29:03,027
You're the banana,
and I'm the nuts.
1738
01:29:08,343 --> 01:29:10,897
[fuse clacking]
1739
01:29:10,897 --> 01:29:14,590
[Zachary chuckling ominously]
1740
01:29:14,590 --> 01:29:17,179
[fuse beeping]
1741
01:29:24,566 --> 01:29:27,154
[Zachary blowing in hose]
1742
01:29:27,154 --> 01:29:30,088
[fuse beeping]
1743
01:29:30,088 --> 01:29:32,125
[fuse beeping rapidly]
1744
01:29:32,125 --> 01:29:36,612
[tank exploding in
a thunderous boom]
1745
01:29:37,579 --> 01:29:40,271
[water running]
1746
01:29:41,479 --> 01:29:42,515
- What was that?
1747
01:29:42,515 --> 01:29:45,552
[water splashing]
1748
01:29:45,552 --> 01:29:48,383
[water rushing]
1749
01:29:48,383 --> 01:29:51,627
[Frank gasping]
[Abraham grunting]
1750
01:29:51,627 --> 01:29:53,284
- I can't swim.
1751
01:29:53,284 --> 01:29:55,390
Oh, God, I can't do that.
1752
01:29:55,390 --> 01:29:57,909
And there's water in my flask.
1753
01:29:59,255 --> 01:30:01,154
- Here, take this.
[Abraham groaning]
1754
01:30:01,154 --> 01:30:02,397
It's my son's.
1755
01:30:02,397 --> 01:30:06,918
[water rushing]
[Abraham groaning]
1756
01:30:06,918 --> 01:30:09,265
- Oh, what happened?
1757
01:30:09,265 --> 01:30:10,232
- I think the house shark
1758
01:30:10,232 --> 01:30:11,716
blew the hot water heater.
1759
01:30:14,063 --> 01:30:18,516
- Something tells me that
wasn't the house shark.
1760
01:30:18,516 --> 01:30:19,793
- You think it was Zachary?
1761
01:30:19,793 --> 01:30:21,968
- Who the hell is Zachary?
1762
01:30:22,831 --> 01:30:24,419
- He probably plugged the drain.
1763
01:30:25,834 --> 01:30:28,837
- We're going to have to swim
down there and unplug it,
1764
01:30:28,837 --> 01:30:31,426
before it fills up more
and fills the house.
1765
01:30:31,426 --> 01:30:33,048
- Yeah, you're right.
1766
01:30:33,048 --> 01:30:33,876
Let's go together.
1767
01:30:33,876 --> 01:30:36,396
- Okay, I got your back.
1768
01:30:36,396 --> 01:30:38,294
But keep your eye peeled.
1769
01:30:39,503 --> 01:30:42,954
Not only for the house
shark but for Zachary.
1770
01:30:43,955 --> 01:30:46,406
He may have set a trap.
1771
01:30:46,406 --> 01:30:48,546
- Okay, alright, let's go.
1772
01:30:48,546 --> 01:30:49,374
Follow me.
1773
01:30:50,237 --> 01:30:51,376
- Wait, Frank?
1774
01:30:52,343 --> 01:30:54,414
Frank? Oh, God.
[Frank gasping]
1775
01:30:54,414 --> 01:30:58,522
- What? [gasping]
- Sorry, one more thing.
1776
01:30:58,522 --> 01:30:59,730
It calms me down.
1777
01:30:59,730 --> 01:31:01,490
[water running]
[Frank gasping]
1778
01:31:01,490 --> 01:31:05,770
[Abraham moaning]
[Frank inhaling]
1779
01:31:05,770 --> 01:31:10,775
[atmospheric orchestral music]
[water bubbling]
1780
01:31:33,833 --> 01:31:36,594
[water bubbling]
1781
01:31:41,357 --> 01:31:44,084
[water bubbling]
1782
01:32:20,500 --> 01:32:23,227
[water bubbling]
1783
01:32:43,937 --> 01:32:45,732
[jarring orchestral music]
1784
01:32:45,732 --> 01:32:50,737
[atmospheric orchestral music]
[water bubbling]
1785
01:33:17,661 --> 01:33:21,354
[dramatic orchestral music]
1786
01:33:52,557 --> 01:33:57,562
[Abraham screaming]
[water bubbling]
1787
01:34:44,402 --> 01:34:47,889
[heads thudding together]
1788
01:34:56,104 --> 01:34:58,831
[water bubbling]
1789
01:35:04,802 --> 01:35:08,495
[dramatic orchestral music]
1790
01:35:41,080 --> 01:35:43,807
[water bubbling]
1791
01:35:46,085 --> 01:35:50,020
[water running down the drain]
1792
01:35:52,056 --> 01:35:57,061
[Abraham groaning]
[atmospheric orchestral music]
1793
01:35:57,786 --> 01:35:58,753
There's a problem.
1794
01:35:58,753 --> 01:36:00,237
- What?
- I'm sober.
1795
01:36:01,445 --> 01:36:03,378
Frank, is that you?
- Just, stop.
1796
01:36:03,378 --> 01:36:04,897
Get, get off me.
1797
01:36:06,277 --> 01:36:07,623
Where's the shark?
1798
01:36:07,623 --> 01:36:08,901
[boxes rustling]
1799
01:36:08,901 --> 01:36:10,178
- We gotta get outta here.
1800
01:36:10,178 --> 01:36:11,973
- Wait, wait, well,
what about Zachary?
1801
01:36:11,973 --> 01:36:14,182
- Forget about him, we
don't wanna be cornered.
1802
01:36:14,182 --> 01:36:16,253
We're [mumbling] loose.
1803
01:36:16,253 --> 01:36:18,876
[Abraham groaning]
1804
01:36:18,876 --> 01:36:22,017
I haven't been
sober in 27 years.
1805
01:36:22,017 --> 01:36:24,261
Come, Francis, follow me.
1806
01:36:24,261 --> 01:36:25,607
I know the way.
1807
01:36:25,607 --> 01:36:29,266
[dramatic orchestral music]
1808
01:36:32,821 --> 01:36:34,167
Son of a
1809
01:36:34,167 --> 01:36:35,341
bitch is here.
1810
01:36:37,964 --> 01:36:41,140
I can feel the shark reeling.
1811
01:36:41,140 --> 01:36:44,246
[mumbled whispering]
1812
01:36:51,012 --> 01:36:53,186
What's the ammo situation?
1813
01:36:56,638 --> 01:36:58,157
- Bullets will need to dry out.
1814
01:36:59,261 --> 01:37:00,538
I'm down to my last rounds.
1815
01:37:00,538 --> 01:37:03,162
[cartridge clacking]
1816
01:37:03,162 --> 01:37:04,094
- My arrows, too.
1817
01:37:05,164 --> 01:37:06,648
Dammit.
1818
01:37:06,648 --> 01:37:09,064
Damn it all to hell.
1819
01:37:09,064 --> 01:37:11,204
[Abraham grunting]
1820
01:37:11,204 --> 01:37:14,552
[thudding from kitchen]
1821
01:37:15,795 --> 01:37:18,177
Make yourself scarce.
1822
01:37:18,177 --> 01:37:21,836
[dramatic orchestral music]
1823
01:37:50,243 --> 01:37:52,107
[shark thudding against floor]
1824
01:37:52,107 --> 01:37:55,179
[shark snoring]
1825
01:37:55,179 --> 01:38:00,184
[Frank sighing]
[shark snoring]
1826
01:38:01,323 --> 01:38:02,290
- Don't.
1827
01:38:02,290 --> 01:38:04,050
- I have to.
1828
01:38:04,050 --> 01:38:06,915
- Abraham, no.
[shark snoring]
1829
01:38:06,915 --> 01:38:08,054
[shark gurgling]
1830
01:38:08,054 --> 01:38:09,435
Ah.
1831
01:38:09,435 --> 01:38:12,300
♪ Hush little house shark
1832
01:38:12,300 --> 01:38:16,200
♪ Now don't you wake
1833
01:38:16,200 --> 01:38:18,996
♪ Mama's gonna bake you
1834
01:38:18,996 --> 01:38:22,551
♪ Some human steaks
[shark gurgling]
1835
01:38:22,551 --> 01:38:25,175
♪ And if those steaks
1836
01:38:25,175 --> 01:38:28,833
♪ Don't fill you up
[shark gurgling]
1837
01:38:28,833 --> 01:38:31,664
♪ Then Mama's gonna make you
[shark snoring]
1838
01:38:31,664 --> 01:38:36,669
♪ Some more human steaks
[shark snoring]
1839
01:38:38,084 --> 01:38:39,465
[Frank sighing]
[shark snoring]
1840
01:38:39,465 --> 01:38:40,397
[book banging against floor]
1841
01:38:40,397 --> 01:38:43,952
[dramatic orchestral music]
1842
01:38:48,301 --> 01:38:50,959
[Frank sighing]
1843
01:38:56,309 --> 01:38:58,208
- We can't keep hiding.
1844
01:38:58,208 --> 01:38:59,934
Can you pass that key?
1845
01:38:59,934 --> 01:39:02,143
[Abraham grunting]
1846
01:39:02,143 --> 01:39:03,351
- No,
1847
01:39:03,351 --> 01:39:04,145
not yet.
1848
01:39:04,145 --> 01:39:05,732
I'm a bit constipated.
1849
01:39:05,732 --> 01:39:07,182
It doesn't help that
all I've been eating
1850
01:39:07,182 --> 01:39:09,598
is Saltines and Cheez Whiz.
1851
01:39:09,598 --> 01:39:12,118
- It was your job
to bring the food.
1852
01:39:12,118 --> 01:39:13,671
- It was my job
to bring the food?
1853
01:39:13,671 --> 01:39:15,018
It was your job.
1854
01:39:15,018 --> 01:39:16,881
Who's to say your
right and I'm wrong?
1855
01:39:16,881 --> 01:39:18,573
- You agreed at the bar.
1856
01:39:20,506 --> 01:39:21,334
- Frank.
1857
01:39:23,923 --> 01:39:25,442
I agreed,
1858
01:39:25,442 --> 01:39:26,961
you agreed.
1859
01:39:26,961 --> 01:39:28,238
Whatever.
1860
01:39:28,238 --> 01:39:29,066
Until
1861
01:39:29,066 --> 01:39:30,757
I can expel
1862
01:39:30,757 --> 01:39:32,759
this key-shaped hamster,
1863
01:39:34,278 --> 01:39:35,659
we're gonna need a plan.
1864
01:39:37,005 --> 01:39:40,319
When watching that
nuclear devil sleep,
1865
01:39:40,319 --> 01:39:42,217
it gave me an idea.
1866
01:39:42,217 --> 01:39:46,256
What's the shark's
greatest natural enemy?
1867
01:39:47,257 --> 01:39:48,085
- Man.
1868
01:39:48,983 --> 01:39:51,399
- No, I mean, like in the sea.
1869
01:39:53,021 --> 01:39:55,575
- I don't know, an orca?
1870
01:39:55,575 --> 01:39:58,164
- No, not an orca.
1871
01:39:58,164 --> 01:40:01,616
- No, I'm, I'm pretty
sure it's an orca.
1872
01:40:01,616 --> 01:40:02,997
Or another shark.
1873
01:40:02,997 --> 01:40:04,515
- No, you fool.
1874
01:40:04,515 --> 01:40:07,553
I mean, in the sea.
[Frank sighing]
1875
01:40:07,553 --> 01:40:08,381
- I give up.
1876
01:40:10,901 --> 01:40:11,729
- The mantis.
1877
01:40:12,903 --> 01:40:14,767
- Mantis?
1878
01:40:14,767 --> 01:40:16,113
- Like a manta ray.
1879
01:40:16,113 --> 01:40:17,114
- No,
1880
01:40:17,114 --> 01:40:18,564
the praying mantis.
1881
01:40:19,944 --> 01:40:21,394
- No.
1882
01:40:21,394 --> 01:40:23,051
No, it isn't.
1883
01:40:23,051 --> 01:40:26,054
- I've got to train
like the mantis.
1884
01:40:27,021 --> 01:40:28,229
Fight
1885
01:40:28,229 --> 01:40:29,057
like the mantis.
1886
01:40:30,300 --> 01:40:31,991
Be,
1887
01:40:31,991 --> 01:40:33,027
be the mantis.
1888
01:40:34,407 --> 01:40:36,444
And when it comes back,
1889
01:40:37,514 --> 01:40:38,377
we'll be ready.
1890
01:40:42,760 --> 01:40:43,761
- Okay.
1891
01:40:43,761 --> 01:40:47,386
[dramatic percussive music]
1892
01:41:01,055 --> 01:41:04,127
[fists thudding against face]
1893
01:41:04,127 --> 01:41:05,197
You got this.
1894
01:41:06,922 --> 01:41:08,338
C'mon.
1895
01:41:08,338 --> 01:41:12,273
[fists thud against stomach]
[Jack grunting]
1896
01:41:12,273 --> 01:41:13,101
Speed.
1897
01:41:14,723 --> 01:41:17,071
[Abraham grunting]
1898
01:41:17,071 --> 01:41:18,002
C'mon.
1899
01:41:18,002 --> 01:41:21,558
[dramatic orchestral music]
1900
01:41:22,490 --> 01:41:23,318
Speed.
1901
01:41:40,611 --> 01:41:45,513
[fist thuds against stomach]
[Abraham grunting]
1902
01:41:45,513 --> 01:41:49,344
[fists thudding against face]
1903
01:42:08,708 --> 01:42:11,539
[Abraham gasping]
1904
01:42:13,299 --> 01:42:17,924
[chuckling] He's gonna kill us.
1905
01:42:17,924 --> 01:42:18,753
Speed.
1906
01:42:24,068 --> 01:42:25,725
- [Abraham] I'm ready.
1907
01:42:25,725 --> 01:42:28,245
- You know, maybe I
should've train, too.
1908
01:42:28,245 --> 01:42:30,489
Besides, I'm in way
better shape than you are.
1909
01:42:30,489 --> 01:42:31,869
[Abraham chuckling]
1910
01:42:31,869 --> 01:42:34,009
[Abraham groaning]
- Is it?
1911
01:42:34,009 --> 01:42:35,908
- Uh, Frankie, my boy,
1912
01:42:35,908 --> 01:42:38,807
we're one Nutty Buddy
away to freedom.
1913
01:42:38,807 --> 01:42:41,085
[Abraham groaning]
- Maybe we can actually
1914
01:42:41,085 --> 01:42:43,191
get outta here before
this thing comes back?
1915
01:42:43,191 --> 01:42:47,161
- Do you have a bucket or a
microwaveable safe Tupperware?
1916
01:42:47,161 --> 01:42:48,714
- A, a bucket?
[Abraham grunting]
1917
01:42:48,714 --> 01:42:51,165
- Yes, I can't sit
down on the toilet.
1918
01:42:51,165 --> 01:42:53,719
- Ah, you're right.
[Abraham groaning]
1919
01:42:53,719 --> 01:42:54,892
Underneath the kitchen sink.
1920
01:42:54,892 --> 01:42:56,929
- Okay, baby steps.
- Follow me.
1921
01:42:56,929 --> 01:42:59,311
[Abraham groaning]
1922
01:42:59,311 --> 01:43:01,520
Baby steps, bye, bye.
1923
01:43:01,520 --> 01:43:05,351
[groaning] Now where is this?
1924
01:43:06,456 --> 01:43:08,941
Oh, I'm gonna
poopy pants, hurry.
1925
01:43:08,941 --> 01:43:10,943
[Abraham groaning]
1926
01:43:10,943 --> 01:43:12,220
[bucket clacking against floor]
1927
01:43:12,220 --> 01:43:13,635
Ah, shit.
1928
01:43:13,635 --> 01:43:16,017
I got to poopies, ah,
1929
01:43:16,017 --> 01:43:17,363
shit.
1930
01:43:17,363 --> 01:43:20,124
Ah, okay, ah, turnaround, Frank.
1931
01:43:20,124 --> 01:43:21,540
- [Frank] Wait, why?
1932
01:43:21,540 --> 01:43:25,199
- I can't drop an organic
depth charge with you watching.
1933
01:43:25,199 --> 01:43:26,752
Easy, easy.
1934
01:43:26,752 --> 01:43:30,238
[groaning] Can I
touch your face?
1935
01:43:31,135 --> 01:43:32,309
- No.
- Please.
1936
01:43:32,309 --> 01:43:35,070
It helps me let my people go.
1937
01:43:35,070 --> 01:43:36,037
- No.
1938
01:43:36,037 --> 01:43:38,902
- [grunting] My hands are clean.
1939
01:43:38,902 --> 01:43:40,904
- I doubt that.
[Abraham grunting]
1940
01:43:40,904 --> 01:43:42,837
- Look, do you wanna
get outta here or not?
1941
01:43:42,837 --> 01:43:44,045
- For Fuck's sake.
1942
01:43:45,874 --> 01:43:47,428
Go ahead.
1943
01:43:52,364 --> 01:43:54,228
[Abraham farting]
[Abraham groaning]
1944
01:43:54,228 --> 01:43:55,781
[feces plopping in bucket]
1945
01:43:55,781 --> 01:43:57,955
- I think we're gonna
need a bigger bucket.
1946
01:43:59,267 --> 01:44:01,683
[feces plopping in bucket]
[Abraham farting]
1947
01:44:01,683 --> 01:44:03,961
- You may wanna finish
murdering that brown snake.
1948
01:44:03,961 --> 01:44:05,308
[shark smashing through ceiling]
1949
01:44:05,308 --> 01:44:06,792
[dramatic orchestral music]
[Abraham yelping]
1950
01:44:06,792 --> 01:44:08,897
Shit, did you get the key?
1951
01:44:08,897 --> 01:44:11,245
- No, it's still in me.
1952
01:44:11,245 --> 01:44:13,281
- [Frank] Well, sit back down.
1953
01:44:13,281 --> 01:44:15,145
- I can't drop a
colored panda buddy
1954
01:44:16,284 --> 01:44:18,838
with this unholy
beast watching me.
1955
01:44:18,838 --> 01:44:22,048
Enough fretting,
let's get it on.
1956
01:44:22,048 --> 01:44:24,706
Now wish me luck, mate.
1957
01:44:24,706 --> 01:44:25,535
- Good luck.
1958
01:44:25,535 --> 01:44:26,501
- Ah, thank you.
1959
01:44:26,501 --> 01:44:28,676
[dramatic orchestral music]
1960
01:44:28,676 --> 01:44:33,681
[fists thudding against shark]
[Abraham grunting]
1961
01:44:34,889 --> 01:44:36,546
- Yeah, get him
1962
01:44:36,546 --> 01:44:40,274
[Abraham mumbling]
[fists thudding against shark]
1963
01:44:40,274 --> 01:44:44,623
[Abraham screaming]
[bones cracking]
1964
01:44:44,623 --> 01:44:47,177
[bones cracking]
[flesh tearing]
1965
01:44:47,177 --> 01:44:49,835
- Frank?
[gun thudding on shark]
1966
01:44:49,835 --> 01:44:51,388
Get the key.
1967
01:44:51,388 --> 01:44:52,286
- You have the key?
1968
01:44:52,286 --> 01:44:54,909
- It's in my ass, still.
1969
01:44:54,909 --> 01:44:56,151
- What?
1970
01:44:56,151 --> 01:44:59,914
- Dig in my butt, it's
close to the outer rim.
1971
01:44:59,914 --> 01:45:02,365
- I, I'm, I'm putting
my arm up your ass, man?
1972
01:45:02,365 --> 01:45:04,367
- Francis, you have to.
1973
01:45:04,367 --> 01:45:07,093
It's the only way, get
out, save yourself.
1974
01:45:07,093 --> 01:45:09,268
Live to fight another day.
1975
01:45:10,407 --> 01:45:12,444
I think I can keep it
from swallowing me,
1976
01:45:12,444 --> 01:45:14,618
but we don't have much time.
[hand squishing in buttocks]
1977
01:45:14,618 --> 01:45:17,380
[Frank heaving]
[hand squishing in buttocks]
1978
01:45:17,380 --> 01:45:19,002
Hurry, Francis
1979
01:45:19,002 --> 01:45:21,901
[Frank farting]
[feces spurting]
1980
01:45:21,901 --> 01:45:24,318
- I'm sorry, it's hard
to find in your tiny,
1981
01:45:24,318 --> 01:45:25,940
baby-size, flat ass.
1982
01:45:27,355 --> 01:45:31,635
[Frank gurgling blood]
[bones cracking]
1983
01:45:31,635 --> 01:45:34,258
- [Abraham] [groaning]
I'll buy you more time.
1984
01:45:35,984 --> 01:45:40,264
- Frank, use the force
of the plutonium.
1985
01:45:40,264 --> 01:45:43,337
You should have
never left the force.
1986
01:45:43,337 --> 01:45:45,580
- No, no, it's
too late for that.
1987
01:45:45,580 --> 01:45:47,030
I have Zachary's syringe.
1988
01:45:47,030 --> 01:45:48,480
- Who the hell is Zachary?
1989
01:45:48,480 --> 01:45:50,482
- The house shark
scientist, that.
1990
01:45:51,897 --> 01:45:54,244
Look, if I stab the house
shark with this pointy thing,
1991
01:45:54,244 --> 01:45:56,039
then he'll mutate and explode.
1992
01:45:57,005 --> 01:45:59,145
Maybe.
- But if he explodes,
1993
01:45:59,145 --> 01:46:01,113
you'll die Francis.
1994
01:46:01,113 --> 01:46:03,702
- I have no choice.
[bones cracking]
1995
01:46:03,702 --> 01:46:05,945
We have to put and end
to this thing right now.
1996
01:46:05,945 --> 01:46:07,326
- Okay,
1997
01:46:07,326 --> 01:46:09,328
I'll distract him.
1998
01:46:09,328 --> 01:46:11,882
Come here, you son of a bitch.
[fist thudding against shark]
1999
01:46:11,882 --> 01:46:13,919
[needle thudding into shark]
2000
01:46:13,919 --> 01:46:15,369
Get outta the way.
2001
01:46:15,369 --> 01:46:17,509
[dramatic orchestral music]
2002
01:46:17,509 --> 01:46:20,926
[Abraham groaning]
2003
01:46:20,926 --> 01:46:23,963
[Abraham groaning]
2004
01:46:23,963 --> 01:46:25,171
- It didn't work.
2005
01:46:25,171 --> 01:46:26,656
- There's another way.
[bones cracking]
2006
01:46:26,656 --> 01:46:27,829
- No,
2007
01:46:27,829 --> 01:46:30,038
game over, man.
[bones cracking]
2008
01:46:30,038 --> 01:46:31,695
Game over.
2009
01:46:31,695 --> 01:46:32,489
- Shoot
2010
01:46:32,489 --> 01:46:33,732
me.
2011
01:46:33,732 --> 01:46:34,940
- What?
2012
01:46:34,940 --> 01:46:38,530
- I'm more whiskey
than man now, anyway.
2013
01:46:38,530 --> 01:46:40,704
My flammable blood
will help sink
2014
01:46:40,704 --> 01:46:45,709
this heathen beast to kingdom
come, once and for all.
2015
01:46:46,192 --> 01:46:47,331
- Okay.
2016
01:46:47,331 --> 01:46:48,298
- Okay?
2017
01:46:48,298 --> 01:46:50,921
- Yeah, okay.
[bones cracking]
2018
01:46:50,921 --> 01:46:53,027
- You came to that
decision awfully quickly,
2019
01:46:53,027 --> 01:46:54,546
don't you think?
2020
01:46:54,546 --> 01:46:56,444
- Do you wanna
debate about this?
2021
01:46:57,756 --> 01:46:58,998
- You could have struggled
[bones cracking]
2022
01:46:58,998 --> 01:47:00,379
just a little bit.
[bones cracking]
2023
01:47:00,379 --> 01:47:01,898
- We don't have time for this.
2024
01:47:01,898 --> 01:47:04,970
- I at least
hesitated when you all
2025
01:47:04,970 --> 01:47:06,799
suggested the syringe thing.
2026
01:47:06,799 --> 01:47:08,698
[shark chomping]
[bones cracking]
2027
01:47:08,698 --> 01:47:11,045
I'm startin' to feel it now.
2028
01:47:12,460 --> 01:47:13,427
I love you.
2029
01:47:14,600 --> 01:47:17,500
- What?
- I, I was losing vigor.
2030
01:47:17,500 --> 01:47:22,505
[dramatic orchestral music]
[Abraham mumbling]
2031
01:47:27,371 --> 01:47:30,271
[bones cracking]
2032
01:47:30,271 --> 01:47:32,446
[blood spurting]
[Frank groaning]
2033
01:47:32,446 --> 01:47:34,482
[gun firing]
2034
01:47:34,482 --> 01:47:35,794
[dramatic orchestral music]
2035
01:47:35,794 --> 01:47:40,764
[shark thudding against table]
[Frank grunting]
2036
01:47:42,007 --> 01:47:42,939
[gun firing]
[bullet thudding in shark]
2037
01:47:42,939 --> 01:47:46,598
[dramatic orchestral music]
2038
01:47:52,845 --> 01:47:54,709
- Smile you son of a biscuit.
2039
01:47:54,709 --> 01:47:55,952
[gun firing]
2040
01:47:55,952 --> 01:48:00,128
[shark exploding in
a thunderous boom]
2041
01:48:10,553 --> 01:48:13,314
[Frank coughing]
2042
01:48:14,177 --> 01:48:17,698
[atmospheric orchestral music]
2043
01:48:17,698 --> 01:48:20,597
[flames crackling]
2044
01:48:22,806 --> 01:48:23,635
Yeah.
2045
01:48:25,913 --> 01:48:26,741
Woo.
2046
01:48:30,158 --> 01:48:33,161
- [Abraham] I think
I need a doctor.
2047
01:48:37,407 --> 01:48:38,650
- You're alive?
2048
01:48:38,650 --> 01:48:41,687
- Frank, I need you
to be frank with me.
2049
01:48:41,687 --> 01:48:42,861
Is it bad?
2050
01:48:42,861 --> 01:48:44,034
- Um,
2051
01:48:45,519 --> 01:48:46,312
no.
2052
01:48:47,348 --> 01:48:49,350
No, you'll be fine.
2053
01:48:49,350 --> 01:48:51,283
- [Abraham] Get me
to a surgeon, quick.
2054
01:48:51,283 --> 01:48:52,664
They can rebuild me.
2055
01:48:52,664 --> 01:48:54,976
Better, stronger, faster.
2056
01:48:57,427 --> 01:48:58,221
Did we kill him?
2057
01:49:01,224 --> 01:49:02,052
- Yeah,
2058
01:49:03,847 --> 01:49:04,676
we did.
2059
01:49:04,676 --> 01:49:05,849
- [Abraham] Good.
2060
01:49:05,849 --> 01:49:09,266
The nightmare is finally
over thanks to me,
2061
01:49:09,266 --> 01:49:12,062
and well, a little
effort on your part.
2062
01:49:12,062 --> 01:49:15,272
You got both my arms
and my legs there?
2063
01:49:15,272 --> 01:49:16,757
- [Frank] Um,
2064
01:49:16,757 --> 01:49:18,206
yeah.
2065
01:49:18,206 --> 01:49:20,864
- [Abraham] And my trusted
pork, my extra long,
2066
01:49:20,864 --> 01:49:22,901
terrestrials there?
2067
01:49:22,901 --> 01:49:24,696
- [Frank] Um, no.
2068
01:49:24,696 --> 01:49:27,077
- [Abraham] What? Look again.
2069
01:49:27,077 --> 01:49:28,527
It's big and glows.
2070
01:49:29,390 --> 01:49:30,978
Like the lost ark.
2071
01:49:30,978 --> 01:49:32,945
- [Frank] I'm sorry, it's gone.
2072
01:49:32,945 --> 01:49:34,982
- [Abraham] Well,
then, just kill me now.
2073
01:49:34,982 --> 01:49:38,261
Life ain't worth livin'.
[Frank chuckling]
2074
01:49:38,261 --> 01:49:39,676
Ah, a what?
2075
01:49:39,676 --> 01:49:42,265
Ah, it's one of your limericks.
2076
01:49:42,265 --> 01:49:44,232
- [Frank] Yeah, your
tiny penis is here.
2077
01:49:44,232 --> 01:49:45,682
- [Abraham] That's not funny.
2078
01:49:45,682 --> 01:49:49,652
Look in my exposed heart,
it's beating a mile a minute.
2079
01:49:49,652 --> 01:49:50,929
- Yeah, well,
that's what you get
2080
01:49:50,929 --> 01:49:52,862
for making me stick
my arm up your ass.
2081
01:49:52,862 --> 01:49:55,002
- [Abraham] Oh, now who's
fault was that, Frank?
2082
01:49:55,002 --> 01:49:56,555
- [Frank] What?
2083
01:49:56,555 --> 01:49:58,039
It was your fault.
2084
01:49:58,039 --> 01:50:00,524
- [Abraham] You don't joke
about a man's majority part.
2085
01:50:00,524 --> 01:50:04,321
But enough about my 16
and a half inch president.
2086
01:50:04,321 --> 01:50:05,599
You never got to tell me
2087
01:50:05,599 --> 01:50:07,980
about your time on
the police force.
2088
01:50:08,878 --> 01:50:10,362
- [Frank] Well, Abraham,
2089
01:50:10,362 --> 01:50:12,709
I think that's just a
story for another day.
2090
01:50:12,709 --> 01:50:17,714
[fire roaring]
[atmospheric orchestral music]
2091
01:50:38,942 --> 01:50:41,565
- [Abraham] Goddammit, my
fake beard fell off again.
2092
01:50:42,981 --> 01:50:44,534
- [Frank] Say what?
2093
01:50:48,883 --> 01:50:52,749
[atmospheric orchestral music]
2094
01:51:21,778 --> 01:51:23,504
[Zachary gasping]
2095
01:51:23,504 --> 01:51:26,403
[Zachary groaning]
2096
01:51:27,784 --> 01:51:30,407
[Zachary groaning]
2097
01:51:30,407 --> 01:51:33,410
[Zachary gasping]
2098
01:51:33,410 --> 01:51:35,171
[Zachary gasping]
2099
01:51:35,171 --> 01:51:37,380
[Zachary spurting blood]
2100
01:51:37,380 --> 01:51:39,554
- I don't know how much
longer I can hold this.
2101
01:51:39,554 --> 01:51:44,559
[Zachary gasping]
[ominous orchestral music]
133705
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