Original subtitles

I'D SAY MORE LIKE FOUR. WHAT? IT HAS NOT BEEN FOUR YEARS

SINCE WE STEPPED FOOT INSIDE OUR GARAGE.

IT WAS WHEN WE GOT THE JEEP. THAT WASN'T -- YES, IT WAS.

AND WE ONLY GOT AS FAR AS OPENING THE DOOR

BEFORE SOMETHING FLEW OUT SCARING YOU.

YES, IT SCARED ME WHILE YOU STOOD BY

LIKE DR. DOLITTLE CHATTING WITH THE BAT.

IT WAS A BAT, WASN'T IT? WEARING AN OZZFEST T-SHIRT, I BELIEVE.

WILL THE MAN NEVER BE ABLE TO LIVE THAT DOWN?

WELL, JOE NAMATH WILL FOREVER BE WEARING PANTYHOSE.

TRUE. VERY TRUE. SO WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THE BAT CAVE?

WE DID PROMISE LANE THAT HER BAND COULD REHEARSE HERE. YES, WE DID.

AND THEY'LL NEED TO GET IN THERE TO DO SO.

SO I GUESS WE'RE GOING IN. I GUESS WE ARE.

ALRIGHT. ON THREE.

ONE, TWO, THREE.

AAH! WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!

THOSE ARE THE BOXES FROM OUR ATTIC

YOU WERE TO GIVE AWAY TWO YEARS AGO! WHAT?

I SPENT THREE DAYS BOXING ALL THE STUFF IN THE ATTIC.

YOU WERE GONNA CALL SOMEONE TO PICK THEM UP.

THE GUY DIDN'T SHOW.

HE DIDN'T? NO, I DON'T THINK.

UNBELIEVABLE.

I GOT BORED AFTER SITTING THERE TWO HOURS.

I LEFT A NOTE SAYING THE STUFF WAS IN THE GARAGE

AND HE COULD LEAVE A RECEIPT.

THESE GUYS AREN'T ALLOWED TO GO INTO SOMEONE'S GARAGE.

THE NOTE SAID IT WAS OKAY. HOW DID HE KNOW THE NOTE WAS AUTHENTIC?

I WROTE IT ON POWERPUFF GIRLS STATIONERY.

WHO'D HE THINK WAS SETTING HIM UP, HELLO KITTY? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

THESE ARE SOUVENIRS FROM OUR LIFE'S JOURNEY.

THIS IS NOT JUNK. THIS IS JUNK, AND THAT OVER THERE IS JUNK.

ALRIGHT, BASICALLY EVERYTHING I'M LOOKING AT IS, YEAH, JUNK.

WE'RE PACK RATS.

WE'RE SANFORD AND SON.

BYE-BYE. [ GASPS ]

WAIT! WHAT?

HUG-A-WORLD! WHAT?

HUG-A-WORLD. IT'S MY HUG-A-WORLD.

WHERE'S THE WORLD? IT'S FADED.

OH, WAIT, I CAN SEE SOMETHING.

CANADA. CANADA. NICE. OKAY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THROWING IT OUT.

YOU CAN'T THROW OUT HUG-A-WORLD. I'M NOT THROWING OUT HUG-A-WORLD.

I'M THROWING OUT HUG-A-CANADA. I LEARNED MY SEVEN CONTINENTS ON HUG-A-WORLD.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER? WE USED TO SQUEEZE IT AS TIGHT AS WE COULD,

AND WHEREVER OUR PINKIES WOULD END UP,

THAT'S WHERE WE WERE GOING TO GO TOGETHER.

MANY TRIPS TO UZBEKISTAN WAS PLANNED THAT WAY.

WE CAN CLEAN HIM AND KEEP HIM.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. THANK YOU.

IF I CLEAN UP HUG-A-WORLD DOES THAT CANCEL OUT ME NOT GETTING RID OF THE BOXES?

I'LL CONSIDER IT A WASH.

HOW ABOUT IF I CHASE IT AND BRING IT BACK?

HUG-A-WORLD WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE WORLD. IT'S MOVING.

THERE'S SOMETHING LIVING THERE BESIDES CANADIANS.

I HUGGED IT REALLY TIGHT. YES, YOU DID.

I HAVE TO SHOWER. HEY, WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE GARAGE?!

RORY!

HEY, HOW ABOUT IF LANE'S BAND REHEARSES IN THE KITCHEN?

WE DON'T USE THAT, EITHER.

* IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD *

* FEELIN' LONELY AND SO COLD *

* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL MY NAME *

* AND I'LL BE THERE ON THE NEXT TRAIN *

* WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED * * IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW * * OH, OH, OH *

* WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED * * IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD *

[ LOUD BANGING ]

CAN I TAKE -- [ SAW WHIZZING ]

CAN I TA-- [ SAW WHIZZING ]

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

WHAT CAN I -- [ SAW WHIZZING ]

THAT'S IT.

I SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED A CARVED ARCH ABOVE THE DOOR.

THAT'S A BLUEPRINT, TAYLOR.

YES, TOM, I KNOW IT'S A BLUEPRINT, BUT --

TAYLOR. ONE SECOND, LUKE.

I KNOW, BUT IF I DON'T SEE AN ARCHWAY HERE,

THEN I DON'T EXPECT TO SEE AN ARCHWAY THERE.

IF I DON'T SEE AN ARCHWAY THERE,

YOU WON'T SEE A PAYCHECK. ARE WE CLEAR?

GET AWAY FROM MY SAW, TAYLOR.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

I'M RENOVATING YOUR BUILDING. YOU KNOW THAT.

I ALSO KNOW THAT THE RENOVATION

IS SUPPOSED TO BE GOING ON OVER THERE INSIDE THE BUILDING.

THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM TO MOVE AROUND IF YOU TURN SIDEWAYS. I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE NOSE.

I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO MAKE THE NECESSARY RENOVATIONS

TO THE BUILDING THAT I'M PAYING GOOD MONEY TO LEASE.

IF ANY OTHER PERSON PULLED A STUNT LIKE THIS

IN FRONT OF YOUR MARKET, YOU'D HAVE THEM ARRESTED.

I HAVE ACQUIRED ALL THE NECESSARY PERMITS

TO DO EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING,

AND ALL OF THIS HAS BEEN LOOKED OVER AND APPROVED

BY THE TOWN MAGISTRATE. YOU'RE THE TOWN MAGISTRATE!

IF YOU HAVE ANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT ME,

YOU MAY TAKE THEM UP WITH ME.

GET HIM AWAY FROM MY SAW. GET HIM AWAY FROM MY DINER.

I NOTICEDYOU HAVEN'T RETURNED ANY OF MY LAWYER'S CALLS ABOUT THE LEASE AGREEMENT.

WE'VE TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE THAT THOSE PAPERS GET SIGNED.

I'M NOT GOING THROUGH ANY LAWYER.

YOU WANT THOSE PAPERS SIGNED, YOU WALK THEM OVER TO ME.

THEN I'LL SIGN THEM. LUKE, THIS IS BUSINESS.

IT NEEDS TO BE DONE PROPERLY AND LEGALLY.

IT'S A STANDARD LEASE FORM. I BOUGHT IT AT OFFICE DEPOT.

ALL THE MORE REASON TO HAVE A PROFESSIONAL TAKE A LITTLE LOOK-SEE.

THERE'S A REASON THEY SAY GOOD LAWYERS MAKE FOR GOOD NEIGHBORS.

WHO THE HELL SAID THAT? OH, EVERYBODY SAYS THAT.

OKAY, NOW BACK TO WORK.

TOM, LET'S TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THIS ARCHWAY, SHALL WE?

GET AWAY FROM MY SAW, TAYLOR.

I ALREADY TALKED TO THE NEIGHBORS.

KEEP THE DOORS CLOSED, AND THE MUSIC MUST STOP BY 8:00.

I'VE TO BE HOME BY 6:00.

WE'LL BE DONE BY 8:00. DON'T YOU WORRY. I WON'T.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. LORELAI. OKAY.

UH, SO, UM, RORY SHOWED YOU THE KEY.

YOU'RE WELCOME TO ANYTHING IN THE KITCHEN, WHICH IS NOTHING,

BUT THE WATER'S YOURS FOR THE TAKING.

JUST REPLACE THE BOTTLE IF IT'S OUT.

YOU ASK, I WILL OBEY. SUPER.

I'M OUT! HE'S OUT! I'LL GET YOU SOME MORE!

OH, NO, NO, NO! I'LL GET IT. OKAY.

OH, EXCUSE ME. DO YOU NEED ANY HELP? NO.

PLEASE? I'M GOOD, PAMELA DE BARRES.

WHEN DID YOU TURN ON MOMMY? WHAT? HE'S CUTE.

AND, IF YOU LATCH ON NOW, YOU'RE TOTALLY ENTITLED

TO HALF OF EVERYTHING WHEN HE DUMPS YOU AFTER HE'S FAMOUS.

OKAY, UM, SINCE YOU DON'T NEED ANY HELP,

SIMPLY A NEW PLACE TO LIVE, I'M GONNA JUST GO.

LISTEN -- YOU'RE BACK. OKAY, HI.

WE'RE GONNA BE PLAYING A GIG NEXT MONTH,

AND I THINK YOU'D REALLY GET INTO IT. OH, WELL.

I'D LOVE TO GET INTO IT, ZACK, BUT SEE,

I HAVE THIS MEDICAL CONDITION WHERE I CAN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC. YOU CAN'T?

NO. MY EARS -- THE HOLLOW TUBEY THING INSIDE IS VERY TINY,

AND IT WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE

IF I LISTEN TO ANYTHING LOUD AND MUSICAL.

THAT SUCKS. I KNOW.

THANKS FOR THE INVITE. I'M SURE IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

SO, UH, YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD REHEARSAL.

I'M GONNA GO ON INSIDE AND WRITE TO TIPPER -- GREAT GAL.

SEE YOU GUYS LATER. BYE, PAM.

SHE IS SOME KIND OF FINE.

Brian: ZACK, SOME HELP WOULD BE GREAT. RELAX.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS ARE LETTING US REHEARSE HERE.

YOU CAN THANK US IN THE LINER NOTES.

RIGHT UNDER OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST. GOOD BILLING.

ARE YOU GUYS ACTUALLY PLAYING A GIG NEXT MONTH?

ABBY BERLAND'S BIRTHDAY. HER PARENTS ARE LETTING HER HAVE A BAND.

THAT'D BE GREAT. CROSS YOUR FINGERS SHE DOESN'T WRECK THE CAR

AND HER MOTHER DOESN'T CANCEL. I'LL HIDE THE KEYS MYSELF.

Brian: OKAY, I'M DONE!

Dave: ME TOO. Zack: LET'S DO THIS.

LISTEN, LANE, WE NEED TO TALK A SEC. SURE.

NOW THAT WE FINALLY HAVE A REAL REHEARSAL SPACE,

WE CAN GET SERIOUS ABOUT THE SOUND. ABSOLUTELY.

I'LL NEED YOU TO REALLY STEP IT UP A LITTLE. OH.

YOU'VE GOT THE POTENTIAL, BUT YOU'RE SLOPPY.

I NEED A CLEAN ROLL ON THE TOMS, BUT POWERFUL LIKE MOON. OKAY.

I KNOW YOU'RE A GIRL, BUT YOU NEED TO PLAY LIKE A GUY.

AND IF THAT'S TOO HARD -- THAT'S NOT TOO HARD.

I'LL BE BETTER. I PROMISE. OKAY.

OKAY, PLEASE TAKE THIS THE WAY IT'S INTENDED,

BUT I'M GOING TO KICK DAVE IN THE SHINS REPEATEDLY

FOR THE NEXT HOUR AND A HALF. WHY?

WHY? DID YOU HEAR THE WAY HE WAS TALKING TO YOU?

"PLAY LIKE A GUY, LANE." WELL, CRY LIKE A GIRL, DAVE.

WHAT? WHY ARE YOU SMILING LIKE THAT?

HE FOOLED YOU. WHAT?

WE THOUGHT THE OTHERS MIGHT BE CATCHING ON ABOUT US,

SO WE CAME UP WITH THIS PLAN. THAT HE BECOME A JERK?

YES. IF THE OTHER GUYS SEE HIM TALKING DOWN TO ME LIKE THAT,

THEY'LL BE THROWN OFF TRACK.

OKAY, BUT DOESN'T IT BOTHER YOU?

NO WAY. BELIEVE ME, HE KNOWS I PLAY BETTER, HARDER, MOONIER,

THAN ANY GUY THEY COULD POSSIBLY FIND, PLUS I SMELL BETTER.

OKAY, AS LONG AS YOU'RE FINE WITH IT. I AM.

AND ALSO, LANE, I NEED FOUR STRONG DOWNBEATS,

NOT TWO STRONG ONES AND TWO WHATEVER ONES.

YOU SET THE TONE, LANE. IF YOU SUCK, WE SUCK.

GOD, HE'S WONDERFUL.

OKAY, NOW, THIS IS THE SUMATRA BLEND.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A LITTLE SHARPER THAN THE COLOMBIAN.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS PRETTY MUCH

WHAT I THOUGHT HEAVEN WOULD LOOK LIKE.

THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A UNICORN IN THE CORNER,

BUT BASICALLY, YEAH, THIS IS IT.

[ LAUGHS ] [ LAUGHS ]

UM, SO,

I'VE HAD 15 OF THESE TINY COFFEES. YES, YOU HAVE.

AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT ALL OF THIS TASTING IS FREE? YES.

SO I'M A CHEAP DATE. THE TASTING IS FREE,

BUT I'VE TO PROMISE TO STOCK MY COFFEE CHAIN FROM THIS WAREHOUSE,

SO ACTUALLY IT'S COSTING ME $11,000 A MONTH.

JEEZ, I HOPE I'M WORTH IT. SO FAR, SO GOOD.

SO YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT HILLARY AND JEFF.

RIGHT. WELL, THEY LIVE WITH THEIR MOM,

BUT I GET THEM QUITE A BIT.

THEY'VE BOTH RECENTLY STARTED SOCCER BECAUSE APPARENTLY IT'S THE LAW.

RORY'S STILL GOT AN OUTSTANDING WARRANT ON THAT. SO HOW OLD ARE THEY?

SIX AND NINE. GOOD AGES.

HAVEN'T REALLY HIT A BAD ONE YET. ME EITHER.

ALTHOUGH WITH RORY, I THINK IT'S GONNA BE 43. REALLY?

NOT SURE WHY. JUST HAVE THE FEELING THAT'S THE YEAR SHE'S GETTING THE MOHAWK.

MMM. WE LIKE SHARPER.

WHEN YOU GUYS OPEN YOUR COFFEE PLACE, THIS MUST BE ON THE MENU. YEAH?

MMM, THAT'S SHARPER.

SO LET'S SEE. WE'VE COVERED WORK, KIDS.

SHALL WE MOVE ON TO HOBBIES?

NOT A HOBBY GUY. HALLELUJAH.

MOST OF THE TIME I'M WORKING, WITH THE KIDS,

OR I'M CHARMING THE CHICKS WITH COFFEE.

A FEW TIMES A YEAR I'LL GO CAMPING OR FISHING.

I ACTUALLY REALLY LOVE THAT STUFF.

OH, YEAH? ABSOLUTELY. HOW ABOUT YOU?

OH, THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL IT THE GREAT OUTDOORS, RIGHT?

I WAS THINKING OF DOING A LITTLE FISHING THIS SATURDAY.

OH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN. THERE'S THIS GREAT PLACE --

BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT FISHING. YOU WANNA COME? HUH?

I'D LOVE TO TAKE YOU. OH, YEAH, SURE.

THAT WOULD BE NICE. GREAT, IT'S A DATE.

YES, IT IS A DATE. IT IS A FISHING DATE.

YOU READY TO TRY ANOTHER?

THERE'S ONE FROM PERU THAT COMES WITH A SURGEON'S WARNING.

HEY, IF THAT LAST ONE DIDN'T KILL ME, NOTHING WILL.

BE RIGHT BACK.

RORY! RORY! THE NUMBERS ARE ALL ADDING UP.

THE PLANETS ARE ALIGNING, AND I'M GOING TO MY SENIOR PROM.

WHAT? YES!

HOW? BECAUSE I'M BRILLIANT.

MY MOM WAS IN A GOOD MOOD BECAUSE SHE MADE A BIG SALE.

A DINING TABLE AND EIGHT CHAIRS, NONE OF WHICH MATCH,

THAT HAVE BEEN AROUND SINCE I WAS FOUR.

I'M GONNA MISS THOSE. GET OVER IT.

I TOLD HER I REALLY WANTED TO GO TO THE PROM,

AND I KNOW SHE DOESN'T APPROVE OF SUCH THINGS,

BUT IF SHE LETS ME GO, WE'LL DO IT HER WAY.

HER WAY WOULD BE NOT TO LET YOU GO. SHE SAID THAT ALSO.

BUT I WENT ON TO CLARIFY THAT IF SHE LETS ME GO,

SHE'LL GET FULL DRESS APPROVAL, FULL CHAPERONE APPROVAL,

I PROMISED NOT TO ACTUALLY DANCE AT THE PROM,

AND WHATEVER BOY I GO WITH WILL BE REQUIRED TO ATTEND

FOUR FAMILY DINNERS BEFORE SHE SIGNS OFF ON HIM BEING MY ESCORT.

NICE MOVE ON USING THE WORD ESCORT INSTEAD OF DATE.

THE SUBLIMINAL IS HALF THE BATTLE, RORY. GO ON.

SO SHE SAT THERE, TOOK IT ALL IN,

AND AFTER A REALLY LONG PAUSE,

SHE LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS, "MAYBE."

YOU GOT A "MAYBE" FROM MRS. KIM.

I GOT A "MAYBE" FROM MRS. KIM!

OKAY, LET'S START WITH BASE.

RIGHT. NOW, WE'RE TALKING DAVE TAKING YOU TO THE PROM, RIGHT?

OF COURSE. MY MOM LOVES HIM.

LAST WEEK SHE LET HIM SIT IN OUR PEW. NO.

SHE MADE ME MOVE. YOU'VE BEEN REPLACED.

I'D BE OFFENDED IF I WEREN'T SO BUSY DOING A HAPPY DANCE.

IT'S ALL WORKING OUT SO PERFECTLY.

BY THE TIME SHE SAYS YES, SHE'LL LOVE HIM EVEN MORE,

AND WHEN I SAY I'M GOING WITH HIM,

IT'LL BE LIKE SHE PICKED HIM OUT HERSELF. YOU'RE BRILLIANT.

HEY, KIRK, IS THIS WATERPROOF?

WATER-RESISTANT. THANKS.

SHE ASKED DAVE TO PLAY THE WEDDING.

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY NON-KOREAN ALLOWED AT THE KIM FAMILY WEDDINGS.

YOU'VE BEEN TO SO MANY OF THESE WEDDINGS,

YOU'RE AN HONORARY MEMBER OF THE CLAN NOW. I APPRECIATE THAT.

SO, YOUR COUSIN GETTING MARRIED SATURDAY -- WHAT'S HIS STORY?

JAMES -- VERY QUIET, KIND OF SKULKY, COULDN'T MEET ANYONE HERE,

SO HIS FAMILY ARRANGED TO HAVE A GIRL SHIPPED OVER FROM THE OLD COUNTRY.

I HOPE THEY CUT AIR HOLES IN THE BOX.

SHE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, AND SHE'S NEVER MET HIM.

THEN SHE'S GONNA NEED SOME SPARKLES.

OKAY, I THINK THAT'S IT. LET'S GO.

CAN YOU IMAGINE MARRYING SOMEONE YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

ARE YOU KIDDING? USED CLOTHES STILL SKEEVE ME OUT A LITTLE.

WILL THIS BE ALL? YES.

I LIKE YOUR DISPLAY, KIRK. IT IS FUN, ISN'T IT?

OKAY, THAT'S $40.42.

HERE.

I'M ALSO INCLUDING A FEW SAMPLES --

A FACIAL SCRUB AND A HONEY MASK --

VERY SOOTHING, VERY HEALING.

THAT'S VERY NICE.

THANK YOU FOR COMING AND CALL ME AND TELL ME HOW YOU LIKE THAT MASK.

WE WILL.

OKAY, THE WEDDING'S AT 4:00, SO HOW ABOUT YOU COME OVER AT 1:00

AND WE'LL GET HER READY? DEAL.

I FEEL GOOD. I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING'S GOING MY WAY THIS TIME.

I HOPE SO. I CAN FEEL IT.

LANE KIM IS GOING TO HER PROM. MAYBE!

DUMB, DUMB, DUMB. OH, COME ON!

SURE, I FISH. I ALSO BODYSURF AND WALK ON THE MOON WITHOUT A SPACE SUIT.

YOU WERE TRYING TO IMPRESS HIM. OH.

WHAT OH? YOU LIKE HIM. I LIKE HIM, BUT I'M NOT 16.

I DON'T LIE TO GUYS TO MAKE THEM LIKE ME.

I GOT STUCK WHEN HE SAID FISHING.

I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE AND NOT SAY,

"FISHING? GREAT -- COLD, WET, AND SMELLY,

MY THREE FAVORITE THINGS AFTER THOSE WITCHES FROM 'MACBETH.'"

HONEY, WE ALL DO IT. WHEN JACKSON AND I STARTED DATING,

WE WENT TO THISPICKLING FESTIVAL, HE WORE A SHIRT WITH A FROG ON IT.

SO I'M TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION.

I SAY, "HEY, CUTE FROG." HE SAYS, "YOU LIKE FROGS?"

AND I SAY, "I LOVE FROGS."

SO FOR OUR SIX-MONTH ANNIVERSARY,

HE GIVES ME A FROG FIGURINE.

AND WHEN CHRISTMAS CAME, HE GAVE ME ANOTHER FROG FIGURINE.

HE TOLD HIS FAMILY WHAT TO GET ME, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN --

YOUR FROG COLLECTION. I'M THE FROG GIRL.

YOU NEVER TOLD HIM YOU DON'T LOVE FROGS?

NO. HE HAS THE BEST TIME BUYING THEM FOR ME,

SO I JUST LET HIM BUY THEM. THAT'S SWEET.

MAYBE I COULD GO FISHING...MAYBE...ONCE.

TELL ME ABOUT ALEX. WELL, HE OWNS AN IRON COMPANY.

THEY DO GATES AND STATUES -- BIG, FANCY STUFF.

HE'S DIVORCED. HE HAS TWO KIDS HE'S CRAZY ABOUT. HE'S NICE.

HE DRINKS A LOT OF COFFEE. IT'S ALL GOOD.

SO?

SO...I'M GOING FISHING. I'M THE FISH GIRL.

[ GASPS ] FROG GIRL WELCOMES YOU TO THE CLUB!

[ GIGGLES ]

IT'S TIME TO BREAK UP, BUT HE SEEMS SO HAPPY. YOU COULD DATE HIS BROTHER.

BUT THAT'S SO BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. WE COULD SWITCH.

ISN'T THAT HOW I GOT HIM? OH, YEAH.

WOW. IT REALLY IS TIME TO GO TO COLLEGE.

RORY, WHERE IS PARIS? SHE'S ALMOST 15 MINUTES LATE.

IS SHE? ALRIGHT. WELL, PERHAPS WE SHOULD START WITHOUT HER.

YOU CAN CONVENE THE MEETING. OKAY.

IF EVERYONE WILL TAKE THEIR SEATS, WE CAN CALL THIS MEETING TO ORDER.

ALRIGHT, SINCE PARIS ISN'T HERE -- PARIS IS HERE!

YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO TAKE OVER, COULD YOU?

TELL IT TO THE TIMEX SALESMAN. MY GAVEL, PLEASE.

I CALL THIS MEETING TO ORDER.

I ALREADY DID THAT. SORRY I'M LATE,

BUT I HAD SOME IMPORTANT BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO --

BUSINESS WHICH I MUST NOW UNFORTUNATELY SHARE WITH ALL OF YOU.

AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS YEAR, WHEN WE WERE SWORN IN AS YOUR GOVERNMENT REPRESENTATIVES,

WE PLACED OUR HAND ON BIBLE, AND WE TOOK AN OATH --

AN OATH THAT STATED THAT OUR BEHAVIOR

WOULD BE ETHICALLY AND MORALLY UPSTANDING

FOR AS LONG AS WE WERE SERVING IN OFFICE.

AND THAT IS WHY IT SADDENS ME GREATLY

TO INFORM YOU THAT ONE OF OUR OWN HAS FORSAKEN THAT OATH.

I HATE ANYTHING THAT STARTS WITH A SPEECH. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I HOLD IN MY HAND EVIDENCE ACCUSING ONE RORY GILMORE

OF COMMITTING HIGH CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS. WHAT?

PARIS, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

MS. GILMORE HAS BEEN CONSPIRING

WITH THE VARIOUS FACTIONS OF THIS SCHOOL

TO WEAKEN THE EFFICACY OF THIS ADMINISTRATION.

YOU'RE REALLY PATHETIC. YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU'LL HAVE YOUR CHANCE TO ADDRESS THESE CHARGES. WHAT CHARGES?

FIRST ON THE LIST, ESPIONAGE -- ESPIONAGE?

GATHERING PRIVILEGED INFORMATION AND DIVULGING IT TO THE ENEMY.

WHAT PRIVILEGED INFORMATION? "PROM COLORS ARE GREEN AND PINK. PASS IT ON"?!

NEXT ON OUR LIST -- THE MOST SERIOUS CRIME, TREASON.

I'M SORRY I TALKED ABOUT JAMIE.

AND HAVING A BIG MOUTH. THAT'S GOING ON THE LIST.

WHAT ABOUT FRANCIE? FRANCIE WAS NOT MY SECOND-IN-COMMAND.

FRANCIE WAS NOT PRIVY TO THE INNERMOST WORKINGS OF MY PERSONAL LIFE.

NOT UNTIL YOU MADE HER PRIVY.

EVERYONE IN SCHOOL SAW YOU WITH JAMIE.

I'M STILL TALKING! SHE ALREADY KNEW!

ENOUGH! WE'VE HEARD ENOUGH!

I MOVE TO PUT TO A VOTE THE IMPEACHMENT OF RORY GILMORE. HEY!

MISS GELLER, I'M SORRY, BUT WE DO NOT IMPEACH HERE.

WHY NOT? THIS IS A STUDENT GOVERNMENT.

I'D LIKE TO PUT TO A VOTE

A RESOLUTION TO INSTATE THE ABILITY TO IMPEACH.

NO. THEN SHE SHOULD RESIGN.

I'M NOT GOING TO RESIGN.

YOU HAVE THE PROBLEM, YOU RESIGN. NO, YOU RESIGN!

NO ONE IS RESIGNING.

I'LL STAY WITH HIM TILL FRIDAY, SEE HOW IT GOES.

THAT SOUNDS FAIR.

YOU CAN TAKE THIS ARGUMENT SOMEWHERE ELSE.

THIS IS STUDENT COUNCIL.

REAL SCHOOL MATTERS ARE THE ONLY THINGS THAT MATTER HERE.

NOW, PARIS, MOVE ON.

THE SWIMMING POOL NEEDS REPLASTERING.

IDEAS FOR FUND-RAISING, PLEASE.

EXCUSE ME?

HI, I'M LOOKING FOR A MR. LUCAS DANES?

OH, LUCAS? WHAT?

IRS.

I'M NOT IRS. I'M NOT IRS.

I'M LUKE DANES.

LUKE DANES. SORRY.

HELLO, LUKE DANES. I'M NICOLE LEAHY.

I'M TAYLOR DOOSE'S ATTORNEY. OH, JEEZ.

HE WANTED ME TO BRING -- YEAH, THE LEASE AGREEMENTS.

I TOLD HIM TO WALK THEM OVER HERE,

BUT WHAT'S THE FUN OF BEING TAYLOR, RIGHT?

I'M SORRY IF THIS IS A BAD TIME.

IT WON'T TAKE ME VERY LONG. FINE. WHATEVER.

LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?

YEAH, SOUNDS GREAT.

I REALLY JUST NEED TO WITNESS YOUR SIGNATURE, IS ALL.

IT'S ACTUALLY JUST A FORMALITY.

IN OTHER WORDS, COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS AND UNNECESSARY.

UH-HUH. OKAY.

MR. DOOSE REALLY LIKES THINGS TO BE FORMAL...

AND NEAT... AND IN TRIPLICATE.

HE JUST LOVES THINGS IN TRIPLICATE.

MMM. THAT'S A REALLY GOOD CUP OF COFFEE.

THANKS. SO TELL ME SOMETHING.

WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING TAYLOR'S LAWYER?

WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M NOT EXACTLY MR. DOOSE'S LAWYER. OR ONLY LAWYER.

HE'S ONE OF OUR SELECT CLIENTS, SO WE DEAL WITH HIM ON A ROTATING BASIS.

IT'S MY MONTH. MY CONDOLENCES.

MY FATHER ALWAYS TOLD ME,

"THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER."

YOU'RE GONNA BE REALLY STRONG. HE'S NOT THAT BAD.

IF YOU RUN INTO SOMEONE PINNED UNDERNEATH A TRUCK, PICK IT UP. IT'S GONNA BE A PIECE OF CAKE.

OKAY, IT LOOKS LIKE THAT'S THE WHOLE NINE YARDS.

GREAT. YOU AND MR. DOOSE ARE OFFICIALLY IN BUSINESS TOGETHER.

I'M SO SORRY. I MEANT THAT AS A GOOD THING.

IT'S OKAY. I WILL LET YOU GET BACK TO WORK. LET ME...

OH, NO. ON ME.

TELL YOU WHAT -- IT'S BUSINESS,

LET'S LET MR. DOOSE PAY FOR IT.

EVEN BETTER.

THAT WAS AN INTERESTING SHOW. WHAT ARE YOU YAMMERING ABOUT?

GUESS GLORIA ALLRED WANTS TO GO SLUMMING. SHUT UP.

SHE WAS TOTALLY COMING ONTO YOU. SHE WAS NOT.

COULDN'T YOU HEAR HER PANTING WHEN YOU WERE SIGNING?

DIDN'T SEE IT. SHE LAUGHED AT YOUR JOKES.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME ULTERIOR MOTIVE TO PEOPLE THAT LAUGH AT YOUR JOKES.

OKAY. WHATEVER. EVEN IF THERE WAS SOMETHING,

WHICH I'M NOT SAYING THERE WAS, SHE'S A SUIT. NOT MY TYPE.

YEAH, ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE'S NOT A MONK.

OH, I DON'T GO OUT THAT MUCH?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT ON A DATE?

LAST MONTH, WISEASS. I WENT OUT WITH JOANNA COOPER.

YOU GAVE HER A RIDE HOME. A RIDE HOME IS THE END OF A DATE.

ONLY IF YOU GO ON A DATE FIRST. I'M NOT DISCUSSING THIS WITH YOU.

I'VE TO GO MEET RORY. I'M GONNA GO PICK HER UP, ACTUALLY BE WITH HER,

THEN GIVE HER A RIDE HOME. THAT'S THE END OF A DATE.

OR I COULD STAY OPEN WHICH MEANS YOU'RE HERE TILL 10:00.

THAT'S ALSO CALLED THE END OF A DATE.

HOPELESS. BYE, NOW.

HEY. GOT ANY GOOD STORIES?

NO, SORRY. AW, NOTHING?

NO CRAZY, COLORFUL UNCLE, BEST FRIEND WITH A FUNNY NAME?

JEFF SMITH.

SKELETONS IN THE FAMILY CLOSET, WAR WOUNDS, FUNNY-SHAPED SCARS?

IT REALLY THROWS YOU OFF WHEN RORY'S LATE, DOESN'T IT?

BIG TIME.

OH! YAY! THANK GOD!

SORRY. DIDN'T LUKE KEEP YOU COMPANY?

HE TRIED, BUT REALLY, HE'S GOT NOTHING.

THANK YOU.

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BOOKS? WE'RE GOING TO FISH.

WITH THESE? YES.

SO WE THROW THEM IN AND TRY TO KNOCK THE FISH OUT?

I WENT TO THE LIBRARY. GOT ALL OF THEIR BEST BOOKS ON FISHING. OH, YOU'RE SERIOUS.

DO YOU WANNA LEARN TO FISH OR NOT? EXCITING, HUH?

I CAN BARELY KEEP STILL. "CHAPTER ONE -- TECHNIQUE.

FOR DEEPWATER FISHING, AN ANGLER" -- WHAT'S AN ANGLER?

THAT WOULD BE YOU. OH, BETTER REMEMBER THAT. OKAY.

"FOR DEEPWATER FISHING, AN ANGLER" -- ME AGAIN --

"CAN CHOOSE A WIRE LINE USING A DOWNRIGGER OR A VERTICAL JIG.

"WHATEVER YOUR TECHNIQUE, THE OTHER SUCCESSFUL CLUE

TO ATTRACTING FISH IS THE APPROPRIATE LURE."

OOH, WHAT ABOUT THE SEQUINED TOP I WORE TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY?

YES, I THINK THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.

"FOR BOTTOM-FEEDERS, CONSIDER SMALLER,

DARKER-PATTERNED LURES" -- SIMPLE, YET ELEGANT --

"WHILE IN AREAS WHERE THE FORAGE FISH ARE CISCO,

YOU'RE LIMITED TO THE LARGER, MORE FLASHY BAITS."

I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW THE LARGER, FLASHY BAITS ARE JUST GONNA MAKE ME LOOK CHEAP.

LET'S REVIEW. WHAT DO WE KNOW SO FAR?

I NEED FLASHY BAITS IF I'M GOING TO INVEST IN CISCO,

UNLESS I CHOOSE TO CAST A TROLL IN MY DOWNRIGGER.

HEY, THAT'S GOOD.

DOING A LITTLE STUDYING?

MY MOM'S LEARNING HOW TO FISH.

YOU'RE WHAT? I'M LEARNING HOW TO FISH.

SORRY, WRONG INFLECTION. YOU'RE WHAT? GO AWAY.

WHY ARE YOU LEARNING HOW TO FISH?

IT'S JUST SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO.

SOME FRIENDS OF MINE FISH. OKAY.

AND WHAT IF I'M A REALLY GREAT FISHER? I MEAN

WHAT IF THAT'S MY CALLING, THE THING THAT I'M MEANT TO DO?

ALL THIS TIME, I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE WITH THE GIFT OF FISH, AND I'M SQUANDERING IT.

IT'S LIKE IF MOZART WALKED RIGHT BY THE PIANO STORE AND NEVER PLAYED A NOTE.

SO YOU'RE GONNA FISH TO FULFILL YOUR DESTINY. THAT'S RIGHT.

AND YOU'RE GONNA LEARN TO FISH TO FULFILL YOUR DESTINY

FROM A BOOK? YES.

AND YOU SANCTIONED THIS? YES.

THELMA, LOUISE, POSSIBLY THERE'S ANOTHER WAY TO LEARN TO FISH.

THE FISHING CHANNEL. I FISH.

OH, WE'VE SEEN THOSE BOOTS THINGIES OUTSIDE DRYING OFF.

THOSE WOULD BE CALLED "WADERS."

AND I'M SURE I'LL BE READING ABOUT WADERS SOON.

I CAN SHOW YOU A FEW THINGS,

GET YOU STARTED, MAKE SURE YOU DON'T STRANGLE YOURSELF

WITH YOUR OWN LINE -- THE BASICS.

ARE YOU SURE? I CAN COME OVER TOMORROW AFTER WORK.

GREAT. THANK YOU.

AH! JUST FOR THE RECORD, I DON'T WANNA LEARN THAT.

GOT IT. NO. NO.

I GOT A NOTE THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO COME SEE HEADMASTER CHARLESTON.

I'LL LET HIM KNOW YOU'RE BOTH HERE.

BOTH? Paris: BOTH.

[ SIGHS ] BOTH. TAKE A SEAT, PLEASE.

YES, MA'AM. [ SIGHS ]

SO WHAT THIS TIME? TRYING TO HAVE ME DEPORTED?

LIKE I'M THE ONE WHO CALLED THIS MEETING.

I CERTAINLY DIDN'T CALL THIS MEETING.

SAVE THE ACT FOR SUNDANCE, YOU LITTLE SNITCH. I DIDN'T SNITCH.

SAID THE WEAK-KNEED TURNCOAT. NIXON'S BAD SEED!

DAUGHTER OF JUDAS!

LADIES, COME IN, PLEASE.

HAVE A SEAT.

CHILTON STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT AND VICE-PRESIDENT IN MY OFFICE.

NOT WHAT I WOULD'VE EXPECTED, I MUST TELL YOU.

BEEN QUITE A STIR ABOUT YOU TWO THE PAST SEVERAL DAYS.

THE SCHOOL IS BUZZING WITH TALK OF YOUR CLASHES

IN STUDENT-COUNCIL MEETINGS,

YOUR FACE-OFFS IN THE CAFETERIA,

A SCREAMING MATCH AT THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER'S OFFICE.

EXCUSE ME, HEADMASTER CHARLESTON.

IN REGARDS TO THE INCIDENT AT THE FRANKLIN,

MS. GILMORE SUBMITTED A PIECE THAT WAS POORLY RESEARCHED.

I HAD TO RE-EDIT IT. THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.

AND IN REGARDS TO THE STUDENT-COUNCIL MEETING --

YOU MEAN THE ONE WHERE YOU TRIED TO IMPEACH ME

BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PROPERLY DIAGNOSED YET?

YOU WANT ME TO QUIT? FINE, I'LL QUIT.

I NEVER WANTED THIS STUPID JOB.

WHO FORCED YOU TO TAKE IT THEN? YOU DID.

YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU'D GET GET ELECTED UNLESS I RAN WITH YOU.

IT'S COMPLETELY TRUE. SHUT UP!

YOU SHUT UP! ENOUGH!

THIS BEHAVIOR WILL STOP THIS INSTANT.

IT IS DISGRACEFUL. ESPECIALLY FROM THE POLITICAL LEADERS OF THIS CAMPUS.

NOW, I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IS ACTUALLY DRIVING

THIS RECENT RASH OF INFIGHTING.

OH, GOODY. I GET TO GUESS. WELL, LET'S SEE.

PERHAPS YOU'RE ARGUING OVER THE SAME BOY.

SURE. WE'RE GIRLS, SO WE COULD ONLY BE ARGUING ABOUT A BOY, RIGHT?

SEXIST, WHITE-HAIRED --

PARIS, ARE YOU MUTTERING? NO. SORRY.

ALRIGHT. IF IT ISN'T A BOY, PERHAPS IT'S A POPULARITY THING.

SOMEONE DIDN'T GET INVITED TO SOMEONE ELSE'S PARTY?

PERHAPS THIS IS A POWER STRUGGLE OF SOME SORT.

NO? WELL, THEN, I'LL STOP GUESSING AND START LECTURING.

MS. GILMORE, YOU WILL NOT BE QUITTING THE STUDENT COUNCIL. IS THAT CLEAR?

[ SIGHS ] YES, SIR.

THE STUDENT BODY HAS ELECTED YOU,

THEREFORE YOU WILL FULFILL YOUR COMMITMENT.

IN THE FUTURE, I'D ADVISE YOU TO THINK LONG AND HARD

ABOUT ACCEPTING ANY RESPONSIBILITY

IF YOU INTEND TO RUN AWAY AT THE FIRST SIGN OF CONFLICT.

AND, MS. GELLER, YOU WORKED VERY HARD

TO GET TO THE POSITION YOU HOLD IN THIS SCHOOL,

AND YET YOU'RE WILLING TO THROW ALL THAT AWAY

ON PETTY VENDETTAS AND CHILDISH ANTICS.

INDEED, IT MAKES ME WONDER --

IF YOU TWO CAN'T RESOLVE YOUR ISSUES IN THIS SHELTERED,

SOME WOULD SAY PAMPERED ENVIRONMENT,

HOW ON EARTH WILL YOU EVER SURVIVE IN COLLEGE?

AS STUDENT-COUNCIL OFFICERS, YOU REPRESENT CHILTON

TO THOSE INSIDE AND OUTSIDE THESE HALLOWED HALLS.

RIGHT NOW, THE WORLD SEES US AS A GROUP OF SNIVELING,

SPITEFUL, VINDICTIVE INDIVIDUALS.

NOT REALLY WHAT I'D HOPED FOR.

NOR IS THAT HOW I PORTRAYED THE TWO OF YOU

IN MY PERSONAL LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION TO HARVARD.

I WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO WRITE A SECOND LETTER

TO THE UNIVERSITY CORRECTING MY ERRORS IN JUDGMENT.

HOWEVER, I'VE DONE IT BEFORE. AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?

YES, SIR. YES, SIR.

DELIGHTFUL.

YOU MAY SEE YOURSELVES OUT.

WELL, THAT WAS DELIGHTFUL, WASN'T IT?

[ SIGHS ]

I'M NOT SURE WHICH IS MORE EMBARRASSING,

HAVING CHARLESTON YELL AT US, OR KNOWING WE ACTUALLY HAD

A "SHUT UP, NO YOU SHUT UP" FIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, PARIS?

YOU FEEL AS COMPLETELY ROTTEN AS I DO?

NO.

[ SIGHS ]

[ HORN HONKS ]

LET'S GO.

HELLO, SAILOR. BAIT YOUR HOOK FOR YOU?

YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS. I LOOK ADORABLE.

NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THAT IF YOU FISH, YOU GET TO BUY AN OUTFIT.

I'LL DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING IF I CAN BUY AN OUTFIT!

WE HAVE A LOT TO DO HERE.

I'LL JUST GET MY PURSE BEFORE WE GO. GO WHERE?

TO THE LAKE. YOU'RE NOT READY FOR THE LAKE.

THEN WHAT AM I READY FOR?

OH! YOU'RE PUTTING ME IN THE KIDDY LAKE?

GOTTA CRAWL BEFORE YOU CAN WALK.

WELL, THIS IS NOT AT ALL EMBARRASSING.

THERE'S NOT EVEN FISH IN IT. TROUT.

HEY! OH, THEY'RE SO CUTE.

HELLO. HI, BOYS.

THEY'RE ALL * OOH * LIKE THEY'RE SINGING IN A LITTLE TROUT CHOIR.

I WOULDN'T GET TOO ATTACHED.

HI, GOMER. THERE YOU GO.

OH, DON'T BE SCARED, PINKY. AND NOW THERE'S PINKY.

PINKY DOWDY FROM FOURTH GRADE.

SEE HER EYES DARTING BACK AND FORTH, ALL PANICKED?

IT'S OKAY, PINKY. NOBODY'S GONNA HURT YOU.

HEY, PETE. STOP CROWDING PINKY.

IT'S OKAY, PINKY, JUST GO OVER THERE BEHIND SHIRL.

OKAY, NOW THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS EACH OTHER, TAKE THIS.

WHAT'S THAT? THAT'S YOUR ROD AND REEL.

I DON'T KNOW IF THE GUYS WILL LIKE THIS.

WE CAN SKIP THE LESSON AND JUST TAKE THE TROUT OUT. IT'S UP TO YOU, REALLY.

NO, I'M GOING TO LEARN.

OKAY, I ALREADY WENT AHEAD AND THREADED YOUR LINE

THROUGH THE GUIDES HERE, AND I PUT A HOOK ON IT.

WHAT KIND OF BAIT IS THAT? A CORK.

REMIND ME NOT TO LET YOU CATER ANY OF MY PARTIES.

IT'S TO COVER THE HOOK. THIS LITTLE METAL THING IS BAIL.

IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. IT KEEPS YOUR LINE ON THE SPOOL HERE.

LINE ON THE SPOOL. GOT IT. TAKE THE ROD IN YOUR RIGHT HAND.

PRESS YOUR RIGHT INDEX FINGER ON THE LINE,

HOLDING IT AGAINST THE POLE.

WITH YOUR LEFT HAND, SLIDE THE BAIL OVER.

DON'T LET GO OF YOUR INDEX FINGER,

OR ALL OF THE LINE WILL SPIN OFF YOUR SPOOL. NOW...

PULL THE POLE BACK OVER YOUR SHOULDER

TO THE 10:00 POSITION. GREAT. NOW I GOTTA GO BUY A WATCH.

YOU FLIP YOUR WRIST FORWARD TO 2:00,

AT THE SAME TIME RELEASING YOUR INDEX FINGER,

CASTING YOUR LINE OUT INTO THE LAKE IN FRONT OF YOU.

NOW YOU TRY. OKAY.

NOW, I DO SOMETHING WITH MY RIGHT HAND, MY RIGHT INDEX FINGER.

I'M WITH THE BAIL AND A SPOOL. I PULL THE THINGY.

OH! THAT WOULD'VE BEEN EMBARRASSING

IF I WEREN'T DRESSED LIKE THIS. YOU RELEASED AT 11:00.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO RELEASE AT 2:00 O'CLOCK. TRY AGAIN. OKAY.

AH! HEY! I MADE IT IN THE POOL! I SEE THAT.

WHY AREN'T YOU EXCITED? I'M VERY EXCITED.

JUMP AROUND OR SOMETHING. YOU'RE GOING IN THE POOL.

FINE. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

READY TO TAKE THE CORK OFF AND TRY YOUR LUCK?

I'M READY, BUT THEY'RE NOT. NO PROBLEM.

MAN, YOU NEED A LOT OF STUFF FOR FISHING.

WELL, NORMALLY, YOU DON'T BRING YOUR OWN LAKE. RIGHT, RIGHT.

SO TELL ME WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS. 'CAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO.

I MEAN, TELL ME WHY YOU'RE LEARNING TO FISH.

SOME OF MY FRIENDS ARE GOING --

WHAT FRIENDS -- SOOKIE? WHAT?

IS SOOKIE GOING FISHING? WELL...

OR RORY. RORY SUDDENLY GET THE OVERWHELMING URGE

TO DIG FOR WORMS AND STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF A LAKE AT 5:00 A.M.?

YES.

OKAY, FINE. I MET THIS GUY... AH.

...AND HE'S KIND OF AN OUTDOORSY GUY.

OH, JUST YOUR TYPE. NO, NOT EXACTLY, BUT HE'S NICE.

HE WAS TALKING ABOUT FISHING, AND I SAID SOMETHING LIKE,

"OH, HEY, THAT SOUNDS GREAT."

AND SO HE INVITED ME, AND HERE I AM.

I GOT IT. HMM.

SORRY I DIDN'T TELL YOU.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

I DON'T KNOW. I JUST FELT STUPID

GETTING ROOKED INTO THE THING IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND THEN --

PLUS, YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE.

SO THIS WILL BE YOUR FIRST DATE, OR...

SECOND. SECOND DATE.

HE TOOK ME TO THIS COFFEE-TASTING PLACE.

COFFEE-TASTING? JUST YOUR TYPE.

UH-HUH. MMM-HMM.

I THINK THAT'S GREAT. THANK YOU.

YEAH. WHEN ARE YOU GOING? SUNDAY MORNING.

WELL, HARD TO BE A FISHERWOMAN WITHOUT YOUR OWN POLE.

YOU CAN BORROW ONE OF MINE IF YOU WANT. REALLY?

I GOT AN EXTRA TACKLE BOX, IF YOU WANT. THAT'D BE GREAT.

YEAH.

CAN YOU DO ME ONE MORE FAVOR? SURE.

PUT A CORK ON YOUR HOOK.

SURE.

Lorelai: COULD YOU PLEASE JUST MAKE SOME COFFEE?

I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR YOU EVER.

Lorelai: DON'T BE MAD. YOU SET MY ALARM FOR 5:15 A.M.

I KNOW, AND I DID IT FOR PURELY PRACTICAL REASONS. WHICH ARE?

MY ALARM IS JUST NOT AS RELIABLE AS YOUR SCREAM.

YOU WILL PAY. THAT'S FINE, HONEY. NOW, COFFEE?

I'M WRITING THIS IN MY LEDGER OF ALL THE CRUMMY THINGS YOU'VE DONE,

AND WHEN I LEAVE THIS HOUSE, MARK MY WORDS, YOU WILL PAY!

[ DOORBELL ]

OH, GREAT.

IT'S 5:30 A.M., AND I HAVE NO COFFEE IN MY SYSTEM.

HI. HI.

COFFEE AND DOUGHNUTS.

HA, I LIKE YOU. COME ON IN.

RIGHT HERE.

THIS IS RORY. HI. I'M ALEX.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

WOULD'VE BEEN NICER IN THE DAYLIGHT, BUT...

OKAY, LET'S GET GOING.

THE FISH AREN'TGONNA WAIT FOR US ALL DAY.

I'LL TAKE THAT COFFEE NOW, IF YOU --

THANK YOU.

[ SMOOCHES ]

I GOT IT, I GOT IT.

YOUR MOM'S NEVER BEEN FISHING BEFORE, HAS SHE?

OH, NO, SHE'S A WELL-SEASONED FISH KILLER.

UH-HUH. I MADE LUNCH RESERVATIONS

AT THE SHAHAELA LODGE AND SPA AFTERWARD.

THINK SHE'LL LIKE THAT? SHE'LL LOVE THAT.

GOOD. GO BACK TO SLEEP.

MIN JAE, YOU LOST WEIGHT. LOOK GOOD.NOT SO FAT.

THANK YOU.

OH. HI.

WHAT IS THAT? THE BRIDE'S THIRSTY.

REGULATE THE WATER. ONCE THE DRESS IS ON, THAT'S IT.

MUST REMAIN STANDING.

HI.

HI. AND HI.

THIS WILL NOT BE THE MENTAL IMAGE YOU CARRY AROUND OF ME THE REST OF THE WEEK.

NO, IT WON'T. HOLD ON, I JUST SAW THE BACK. YES, IT WILL.

IT'S NOT RIGHT TO LEAVE THE BRIDE ALONE ON HER WEDDING DAY.

RORY'S UP THERE, MAMA, AND I'M GOING UP THERE RIGHT NOW.

DAVE RYGALSKI WAS JUST WONDERING WHERE TO SET UP.

DAVID, HELLO. HELLO, MRS. KIM. THE PLACE LOOKS WONDERFUL.

THANK YOU. COME. SIT HERE.

THIS IS HO KYUNG. SHE'LL SING WITH YOU.

HI.

WATCH HER HIGH NOTE. SHE'S A RUNNER.

HOW'S IT GOING?

I LIKE IT, BUT I'M NOT THE ONE GETTING MARRIED.

UM, YOUR HAIR, DO YOU LIKE IT?

[ SPEAKING KOREAN ]

[ SPEAKING KOREAN ] TOO MUCH FOR ME.

OH, I FOUND THE MRS. KIM-APPROVED MAKEUP IN THE DRAWER,

BUT LET ME TELL YOU, SINCE THE LAST WEDDING, IT HAS DEVELOPED A SMELL.

A WHAT?! OH, BOY. AS I SAID, A SMELL.

WELL, I'VE GOT THE GOOD STUFF RIGHT HERE...

RIGHT NEXT TO PEGGY LEE. SEEMS APPROPRIATE.

I THOUGHT SO. SHALL WE? UNH-UNH. THE FOOTSTOOL.

WHOA.

ALL SET. SO DAVE'S HERE. HE IS, HUH?

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S WILLING TO DO ALL THIS JUST TO GO OUT WITH ME.

WHERE ELSE CAN HE FIND

A DECENT, PRETTY, SMART GIRL WHO CAN RECITE

THE ENTIRE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF ROCK IN 5/8 TIME? NOWHERE, I GUESS.

I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS.

THANKS. I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU AND JESS, TOO.

THANKS. YOU KNOW IT'S OKAY, RIGHT?

NOT FOLLOWING. IT'S OKAY NOT TO LIKE JESS.

I SAID I WAS HAPPY FOR YOU. I KNOW.

GOD, I'M SUCH A JERK. YOU'RE NOT.

LOOK, WE'RE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO LIKE THE SAME THINGS.

LIKE, YOU LIKE SMASHING PUMPKINS, AND I DON'T.

BUT THAT'S ONLY 'CAUSE YOU'RE CLOSED-MINDED AND BLIND.

THEY'RE NOT MY ANGST.

IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO LIKE JESS.

AS YOUR BEST FRIEND, I'M VERY PROTECTIVE OF YOU.

YOU COULD TRY GIVING HIM A SECOND CHANCE. I COULD.

I SHOULD. I WILL.

HEY, MAYBE WE CAN ALL GO OUT SOMETIME TOGETHER AS A GROUP.

YOU KNOW, YOU, ME, DAVE, JESS.

ABSOLUTELY. WE SHOULD DO THAT SOMETIME. GREAT.

[ THUD ] INCOMING!

WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?! NOTHING, MAMA.

I FELL OFF MY CHAIR!

OH. WELL, DON'T.

YES, MA'AM. SHE LOOKS VERY BEAUTIFUL.

MUST'VE GOTTEN A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU THINK HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED HERE OVER THE YEARS?

I COUNTED ONCE OFF THE GUEST BOOK -- 46.

WOW. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THAT ONE?

MIN CHA? SHE MARRIED A REAL MEAN GUY.

WAN NAM. DIDN'T I TELL YOU ABOUT THEM? NO.

MIN CHA PUT UP WITH SEVEN YEARS OF WAN NAM TELLING HER SHE WAS STUPID

AND ORDERING HER TO COOK ALL HIS MEALS.

THEN ONE DAY HE WAS IN THE KITCHEN LOOKING FOR HIS LUNCH,

AND SHE JUST SNAPPED -- TOOK A CARROT PEELER AND TURNED ON HIM.

A CARROT PEELER? YOU CAN GET THOSE THINGS SHARP.

SHE JUST CAME AT HIM AND STARTED PEELING.

THE NEIGHBORS CALLED THE POLICE. THEY SHOWED UP.

AND WAN NAM WAS STANDING THERE, ALL PEELED. WHAT HAPPENED?

HE DIDN'T PRESS CHARGES, NOW HE MAKES HIS OWN MEALS,

SLEEPS IN A LOCKED, SEPARATE ROOM, AND KEEPS THE CUTTING BOARD BY HIS BED FOR PROTECTION.

STILL MARRIED, THOUGH. WOW.

EVERYBODY IS STILL MARRIED. IT'S LIKE A FACTORY SYSTEM.

THEY ALL FIND A SPOUSE, GET MARRIED AND STAY THAT WAY TILL THEY DIE.

THEY MATE FOR LIFE, LIKE THE LOONS.

THIS MAY BE THE LAST WEDDING FOR A LONG TIME.

HOW COME? ALL MY COUSINS IN THEIR 20s AND 30s ARE MARRIED.

JAMES WAS THE LAST ONE. WOW.

FEELS LIKE WE'VE HAD TWO OF THESE EVERY YEAR SINCE I CAN REMEMBER.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, WHEN WE MET. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, WHEN WE MET. YEAH.

WE DO HAVE A COUPLE OF DISTANT RELATIVES LEFT.

MAYBE WE COULD GO TO ONE OF THOSE

WHEN WE COME HOME FROM COLLEGE ON BREAK.

THEN, WE SHOULD DEFINITELY KEEP THE MAKEUP. WE DEFINITELY SHOULD.

MAYBE THE NEXT KIM WEDDING WE DO MAKEUP FOR WILL BE YOURS.

TOO SCARY. DON'T FREAK ME OUT. SORRY.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? EYE SHADOW?

WHY NOT? LET'S DO IT.

PEELED TO DEATH -- THAT'S A BAD WAY TO GO.

THERE YOU GO.

WE'LL TOP THAT OFF FOR YOU.

COFFEE OVER HERE.

WHERE YOU GOING?

UH, MISS...LEAHY?

YEAH? MR. DANES. HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD. GOOD. AND IT'S LUKE.

OKAY, LUKE, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

I WOULDN'T CROSS THERE. WHY NOT?

THAT TAYLOR'S A STICKLER ABOUT JAYWALKING,

AND HE'S TOWN MAGISTRATE.

I'D HATE FOR YOU TO BE DISBARRED.

WELL, THAT WOULD BE A BAD WAY TO END A CAREER. THANK YOU.

SURE. SO...

UH, DID THE LEASE FORMS ALL WORK OUT?

I MEAN, WAS MY SIGNATURE OKAY?

'CAUSE SOMETIMES I'M IN A KIND OF A HURRY,

AND MY HAND JUST TAKES OFF WITHOUT ME.

YOUR SIGNATURE SEEMED VERY STEADY.

GOOD. GOOD. 'CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW.

WELL, I -- LISTEN, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT CUP OF COFFEE

YOU HAD AT MY PLACE THE OTHER DAY.

I FELT BAD MAKING TAYLOR PAY FOR IT --

NOT THAT I EVER FEEL BAD STICKING IT TO TAYLOR --

I JUST THOUGHT IT MIGHT GET YOU IN TROUBLE WITH A CLIENT.

HATE TO SEE YOU DISBARRED, AGAIN.

TO BE HONEST, I ACTUALLY PAID FOR THE COFFEE MYSELF.

OH. OH. WELL, THEN, AT LEAST LET ME PAY YOU BACK FOR IT.

YOU WANNA GIVE ME 75 CENTS? NO. NO.

WHAT I MEANT WAS...

AH, WHAT THE HELL.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME SOMETIME?

YEAH. REALLY?

I'D LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH YOU.

GREAT. OKAY.

WELL, I HAVE YOUR CARD.

WHY DON'T I GIVE YOU A CALL THIS WEEK,

AND WE'LL MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

SOUNDS GOOD. YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD.

SO SEE YOU. WATCH THOSE CROSSWALKS.

THANKS. I WILL.

SHUT UP. I SAID NOTHING.

WELL, DON'T.

[ SPEAKING KOREAN ]

[ SPEAKING KOREAN ]

AND DO YOU VOW TO UPHOLD THE PRINCIPLES

OF THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT AS SET OUT IN EXODUS 20:14?

I DO.

[ SPEAKING KOREAN ]

AND SO, IN THE GLORY OF GOD,

I PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE.

[ "AVE MARIA" PLAYS ]

* AVE *

* MARI... *

THAT WAS NICE.

YEAH, IT WAS REALLY NICE.

RECEPTION AT ELK'S LODGE, 200 GUESTS.

FOOD GOES FAST, LET'S MOVE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE'LL HEAR YOUR MOM SAY THAT.

ARE YOU COMING TO THE RECEPTION?

OH, NO. I WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO...

GO MEET JESS.

YEAH. ARE YOU MAD? NO.

YOU KNOW, HE CAN COME TO THE RECEPTION WITH YOU IF...

HE'S NOT REALLY THE RECEPTION KIND OF GUY, IS HE? NOT REALLY. NOT YET ANYWAY.

WE'LL WORK ON THAT. YES, WE WILL.

OKAY, TELL HIM HI FOR ME.

I WILL. TELL DAVE HI FOR ME. I WILL.

BYE. BYE.

LANE! YES, MAMA?

THIS IS YOUNG CHUI.

HI. HI.

HE WILL TAKE YOU TO THE PROM. WHAT?

YOUNG CHUI WORKS FOR HIS FATHER, WHO BUILDS ADVENTIST HOSPITALS.

YOUNG CHUI WILL GO TO COLLEGE AT LOMA LINDA UNIVERSITY.

THEN HE WILL RETURN TO WORK FOR HIS FATHER

BUILDING ADVENTIST HOSPITALS. NOW, PUT YOUR COAT ON.

YOUNG CHUI AND HIS PARENTS WILL DRIVE YOU TO ELK'S LODGE.

MAMA!

I'M SURE YOU'RE VERY NICE.

NOT A BUS STOP. DOOR'S THAT WAY.

I'VE TO TALK TO YOU. WE'VE TO GO.

NO. NO?

I CAN'T GO TO THE PROM WITH YOUNG CHUI. WHY NOT?

I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO GO TO THE PROM. YES, I DO.

I THOUGHT YOU SAY I COULD APPROVE THE BOY. I DID SAY THAT.

I APPROVE THE BOY, NOW YOU GO TO THE PROM WITH THE BOY.

MAMA, UM... I'M SURE YOUNG CHUI IS VERY NICE,

AND I'M SO GRATEFUL YOU'RE LETTING ME GO TO THE PROM,

BUT THE THING IS, I LIKE SOMEONE ELSE.

SOMEONE ELSE? YES.

SOMEONE ELSE WHO? SOMEONE ELSE WHO'S BEEN A GOOD FRIEND TO THIS FAMILY,

WHO'S PROVEN HIMSELF TO BE OF HIGH MORAL CHARACTER,

SOMEONE WHO YOU YOURSELF FEELS IS WORTHY.

SO WORTHY, YOU LET HIM SIT IN OUR PEW AT CHURCH.

WHO? WHO DID I LET SIT IN OUR PEW?

DAVE RYGALSKI. THE GUITAR PLAYER?

I KNOW. CRAZY, RIGHT? I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT MYSELF.

BECAUSE TO BE QUITE HONEST WITH YOU, WHEN I FIRST MET HIM,

WHEN YOU HIRED HIM TO PLAY AT THANKSGIVING,

I JUST DIDN'T LIKE HIM AT ALL. HE BUGGED ME, ACTUALLY.

BUT THE MORE YOU LIKED HIM AND TRUSTED HIM,

THE MORE I SAW THE GOOD IN HIM -- THE GOD IN HIM, ACTUALLY.

AND NOW I'M CONVINCED...

HE'S THE BOY I WANT TO TAKE ME TO PROM.

HE'S NOT KOREAN.

LANE. HEY, LANE? IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?

YOU'RE NOT KOREAN.

I'M HOME!

Lorelai: UPSTAIRS. BATHROOM.

HEY.

OH, NO. ISN'T SHE CUTE?

WHAT HAPPENED? THE CORK FELL OFF MY HOOK AND JAYNE MANSFIELD HERE BIT.

JAYNE MANSFIELD? NOT THE BRIGHTEST FISH, BUT SHE'S AWFULLY PRETTY.

YOU CAUGHT A FISH. YES.

AND YOU BROUGHT IT HOME. YES.

HOW WILL YOU TAKE A BATH? I DON'T KNOW.

HOW LONG IS IT GONNA LIVE? HARD TO SAY.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA FEED IT? THIS IS WHY I DON'T FISH.

SHE IS KIND OF CUTE. SHE HAS A GREAT TAIL SWISH.

OTHER THAN BRINGING HOME A PET, HOW WAS FISHING?

GOOD. THE LAKE WAS BEAUTIFUL -- SNOWY AND SPARKLY --

AND RIGHT DOWN THE ROAD FROM THE SHAHAELA LODGE AND SPA.

I KNEW THAT. HOW?

ALEX TOLD ME WHEN YOU GUYS LEFT.

YOU'RE ALREADY IN CAHOOTS WITH EACH OTHER.

EH, WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M WILY. UH-HUH.

ARE YOU GOING OUT WITH HIM AGAIN?

UH-HUH. CAMPING?

UNH-UNH. GOOD.

YOU THINK WE SHOULD SEND HER BACK INTO THE WILD?

UNFORTUNATELY, I THINK SHE'S ALREADY DOMESTICATED --

BATHS AND SCENTED CANDLES. WE'LL JUST HAVE TO KEEP HER.

MAYBE WE CAN TRAIN HER TO DO TRICKS. TOMORROW.

GOODNIGHT, JAYNE. GOODNIGHT, JAYNE.

[ SPLASHING ]