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1
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:08,459
Planet crust... 59.6% silica.
2
00:00:08,460 --> 00:00:12,069
Again with the silica.
It's always silica.
3
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:14,899
Scan complete.
Minimal resources detected.
4
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,899
Planet has low potential.
5
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:19,169
Looks like my decision's
made for me.
6
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,300
Navigation, set course for home.
7
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,300
What the?
8
00:01:18,090 --> 00:01:19,699
Fuel core not found.
9
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,229
Switching to reserve power.
10
00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:23,929
Reserve power sufficient
for orbital launch.
11
00:01:23,930 --> 00:01:25,279
That's good news.
12
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:26,189
Reserve power depleted
13
00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:27,970
by orbital launch calculations.
14
00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:31,410
That's bad design.
15
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,150
I gotta find that fuel core.
16
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:46,169
Can't let the inhabitants see me.
17
00:01:46,170 --> 00:01:48,559
Shit.
18
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,909
Salutations, fellow traveler.
19
00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:54,219
Well, you don't look like
you're from around here.
20
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:56,609
You must be a hobo!
21
00:01:56,610 --> 00:02:00,529
A poor hobo wandering the desert
like an Israelite.
22
00:02:00,530 --> 00:02:04,439
I'm Freddy Underwood, Bible
salesman and good Samaritan.
23
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,449
And you're coming with me.
24
00:02:06,450 --> 00:02:08,450
- I don't want to.
- I insist.
25
00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:12,059
So you're taking me prisoner?
26
00:02:12,060 --> 00:02:14,369
I'm taking you for a hot meal.
27
00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:16,459
So you're gonna eat me, then?
28
00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:18,889
I don't eat hobos!
29
00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:20,810
Not since the Great Depression.
30
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:27,549
As reports come in
of a large crash
31
00:02:27,550 --> 00:02:30,209
somewhere in the desert
of what some are saying was
32
00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:32,860
an unidentified flying object.
33
00:02:36,430 --> 00:02:39,699
I'm not much for news
unless it's the good news.
34
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:42,479
Used to be a preacher.
Preached the good book.
35
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,359
Then something happened.
Now I sell the good book!
36
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:52,009
Don't believe in it anymore
because of what happened.
37
00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:54,229
And here we are!
38
00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:56,839
Grandma Macadoo's boarding house.
39
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,149
You're gonna like her.
40
00:02:58,150 --> 00:02:59,889
She's a warm, earthy woman...
41
00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:02,419
but saltier than Lot's wife!
42
00:03:02,420 --> 00:03:06,159
I got a hungry one for you,
young Miss Macadoo.
43
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,809
Little guy with long arms?
44
00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:10,379
I dropped a dirty sex book
45
00:03:10,380 --> 00:03:12,469
on the far side
of my claw-foot tub.
46
00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:17,339
If you can reach it, I'll give
ya a big plate of chipped beef.
47
00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:19,169
He's runnin' away.
48
00:03:19,170 --> 00:03:22,869
Grandma, this jackrabbit's
head's all mushy!
49
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,350
Gross!
50
00:03:27,010 --> 00:03:29,310
Can I make his head all mushy?
51
00:03:53,070 --> 00:03:55,380
Oh good, I'm up!
52
00:04:01,910 --> 00:04:04,959
Rip Van Winkle rises!
53
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,959
I need to go.
54
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,180
Suit yourself.
55
00:04:10,270 --> 00:04:12,959
Someone smells that chipped beef.
56
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,569
Chipped beef again?
57
00:04:14,570 --> 00:04:16,139
What did think you
were getting, Luis?
58
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:17,619
A salad?!
59
00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:19,319
None for me, please.
60
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:20,969
Watching my figure.
61
00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:23,499
Screen stars have to stay trim.
62
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:26,369
I'm Roslyn Jenkins, not that you
know the name yet.
63
00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:28,939
I'm in New Mexico
for a brief respite.
64
00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:31,069
Then I'm off to be
a young ingenue for
65
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:33,109
Metro Goldwyn and Mayer.
66
00:04:33,110 --> 00:04:35,069
You've been here nine years.
67
00:04:35,070 --> 00:04:36,639
You're 60, right?
68
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,249
I'm not 60!
69
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,639
It's this damn dry air.
70
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,079
Uncle Cosworth, you joining us?
71
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:46,259
Soon as I get
this old girl loaded.
72
00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:49,519
Uncle Cosworth is one of the
last living Civil War veterans.
73
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,739
He liked shooting so much,
he fought for both sides.
74
00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:54,830
Clifton! Put your little
club down and eat something.
75
00:04:57,530 --> 00:05:00,879
You know, I heard on the radio
that some people think
76
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,749
they saw a Martian spaceship
last night.
77
00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,369
Ya listen to my radio,
ya pay me a nickel!
78
00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:08,929
I'll tell you something.
As a crop duster...
79
00:05:08,930 --> 00:05:11,679
I'm a crop duster. I spend
a lot of time in the air.
80
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,719
And I've seen my fair share
of things in the sky
81
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,459
that I cannot explain.
82
00:05:15,460 --> 00:05:17,379
Once I saw what appeared
to be a black bird,
83
00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:19,469
but it had the body of a mouse.
84
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:21,469
And it was nighttime!
85
00:05:21,470 --> 00:05:23,689
Sounds like a bat to me, friend.
86
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,040
A what?!
87
00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:29,259
I also fought in the
Spanish-American War
88
00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:31,259
in 1898.
89
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:33,389
Tremendous war.
90
00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:35,569
I don't know what it was about,
91
00:05:35,570 --> 00:05:38,919
but I'm sure we were
the good guys.
92
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,179
Luis, you don't know
when that airplane
93
00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:43,009
is gonna drop like a stone.
94
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,969
You need to be at peace
with the big bearded man
95
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,139
in the clouds.
96
00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:48,059
You need a Bible.
97
00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:50,149
But you don't believe
in the Bible.
98
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,189
Some big bearded man
in the clouds?
99
00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:53,979
I'm not an idiot!
100
00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:56,419
But you can't afford
to take chances.
101
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:59,849
And I'd believe the Bible if I
could, trust that, but I can't.
102
00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:02,199
I'm locked out of the gates
103
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,030
because of all of
those hobos I ate.
104
00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:10,689
And if you make new chipped beef
inside the old chipped beef,
105
00:06:10,690 --> 00:06:13,479
you never have to wash the pot!
106
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:17,649
But do I make my debut
in comedy or tragedy?
107
00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:20,049
I mean, I can do both equal...
108
00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:22,349
Clifton! It's dead already!
109
00:06:22,350 --> 00:06:25,049
All done?
110
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:27,710
I suppose that means
you'll be hitting the road?
111
00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:41,109
Evening, madam. I'm with the OSS.
112
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,679
Wait, sorry, the CIA.
113
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,769
They just changed the name on us.
114
00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:47,899
I'm Agent Avery Bullock.
115
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:51,039
Wait, sorry, Avery Bullock Senior.
116
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,729
I just had a son,
and he changed my name on me.
117
00:06:53,730 --> 00:06:55,779
Hello, citizens!
118
00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:57,689
I'm sure you've all heard
about a crash
119
00:06:57,690 --> 00:06:59,389
that happened last night,
120
00:06:59,390 --> 00:07:02,389
and maybe you've even heard
it was a UFO.
121
00:07:02,390 --> 00:07:05,919
A UFO? Can you imagine?
122
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,969
Do you want to know
what it really was?
123
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,789
A weather balloon.
124
00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:12,579
A common, everyday,
you've-seen-it-a-thousand-times
125
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:13,879
weather balloon.
126
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,059
What is a weather balloon?
127
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,019
It's a type of balloon.
128
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:22,369
If it was just a balloon,
why is the OSS here?
129
00:07:22,370 --> 00:07:24,369
"Why is the CIA here?"
130
00:07:24,370 --> 00:07:27,159
What's that thing you're carrying?
131
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,639
It's a tool for capturing
weather balloons.
132
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,029
Now that I've answered all
your questions flawlessly,
133
00:07:33,030 --> 00:07:34,729
I have a question.
134
00:07:34,730 --> 00:07:37,909
Have you seen any suspicious
characters around?
135
00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:39,519
Suspicious how?
136
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,519
Just suspicious.
Not an alien or anything,
137
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:46,529
but maybe gray or green skin,
maybe tentacles.
138
00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:48,749
Assistance in finding
someone like that
139
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,399
would be greatly appreciated.
140
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:55,269
And any resistance
would be greatly unappreciated.
141
00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:58,799
Mister, I know for a fact
that every one of us
142
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,800
has seen a suspicious character...
143
00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:05,280
in the mirror!
144
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:11,119
Well, I'll leave you
to your joyless laughter.
145
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,329
Is it only six of you for dinner?
146
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:15,119
You better believe it!
147
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,470
Then why are there seven plates?
148
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:25,299
Do I hear
the frightened whimpering
149
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,870
of a nasty little
weather balloon in there?
150
00:08:40,970 --> 00:08:42,409
Well, this didn't work.
151
00:08:42,410 --> 00:08:44,409
I beg your pardon, madam.
152
00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:47,279
Wait, you think I'm a woman?
But I look ridiculous.
153
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,759
I've seen more fetching women, sure,
154
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,899
but you're no more homely than
your very homely twin sister
155
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,989
I saw out in the dining room.
156
00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:58,209
Because I look just like
Grandma Macadoo.
157
00:08:58,210 --> 00:09:00,899
Get out of my way!
Chipped beef, chipped beef!
158
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,429
What in the twinly name
159
00:09:02,430 --> 00:09:03,949
of Jacob and Esau!
160
00:09:03,950 --> 00:09:06,779
I'm back from the bathroom,
everybody, me,
161
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,909
Grandma Macadoo's sister.
162
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,919
Grandma Macadoo?
163
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,739
Why did you all say
there were only six of you here?
164
00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:16,219
Oh, no!
165
00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:18,099
They couldn't hear you
over the sound of your stomach
166
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,529
smelling the chipped beef!
167
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:21,099
I'll get you a bowl.
168
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,449
The secret to chipped beef
is the creaminess,
169
00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:26,709
and the secret to my creaminess
is horse milk.
170
00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:29,929
Sure, horse milk tastes like
grass and smells like a horse,
171
00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:32,679
and cow milk is way better
in every way imaginable,
172
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,370
but I don't have a cow
and I do have a horse.
173
00:09:37,330 --> 00:09:40,330
Or I did, before I chipped it up
and beefed it.
174
00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:44,209
It's like I'm looking in a mirror.
175
00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:46,689
Hobo? That's you, right?
176
00:09:46,690 --> 00:09:49,259
Somehow?
177
00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:53,259
One of the greatest acting
performances I've ever seen!
178
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:56,439
You simply became Grandma Macadoo.
179
00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:00,699
What makes my disguise
so effective on humans?
180
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:04,229
Well, it's time I came clean
about what I am...
181
00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:05,529
a big ol' alien.
182
00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:07,139
- Stop talking!
- No, no, no, not our business!
183
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,839
Let me explain something
to you, magical hobo.
184
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,759
We all came to the middle
of nowhere for a reason.
185
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,849
We don't talk about the past
186
00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:17,239
or who poisoned what daddy where
187
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,029
or why the well water went smelly.
188
00:10:20,030 --> 00:10:21,769
And don't ask me about
stealing my airplane,
189
00:10:21,770 --> 00:10:23,729
which doomed my squadron.
190
00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:25,679
I'm always joking
about what I did,
191
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,639
but it really
actually truly happened.
192
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,379
I did it! I ate 'em!
193
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:32,559
Can you, do me
like you did Granny?
194
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,909
I used to preach the good book.
Now I sell it!
195
00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:38,779
Do me!
196
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,259
I'm a fresh young thing,
197
00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:42,529
and my gorgeous little face
looks like a river map.
198
00:10:42,530 --> 00:10:45,489
I want to become a star
by sitting here in the corner!
199
00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:47,359
Hey!
200
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,319
It was brother against brother,
which was tough
201
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,410
because I didn't have a brother,
so I had to shoot my sister!
202
00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,239
I like to fart a big load
of dust onto some crops,
203
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,369
then go to town and pay a man
and a lady
204
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,589
to watch me have sex
with my plane.
205
00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:07,599
Boy, this magical hobo was
listening to everything I said!
206
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,289
Can you become anyone else?
207
00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:10,899
I don't know anyone else.
208
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:13,559
What if we went into town,
met some other people?
209
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,299
It's the Green Chile Festival!
210
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,209
I should get going, actually.
211
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,129
I have to find
my spaceship's fuel core.
212
00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:21,089
- La, la, la, la, la, la, la!
- Try this.
213
00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:23,350
Trust me.
214
00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:28,180
Town. Chiles. Now.
215
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:42,239
♪ In a town in Sweden
by a stream so clear and cool ♪
216
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,369
♪ Some boys were
sitting, fishing ♪
217
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,199
♪ When they should have
been in school ♪
218
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,589
♪ They couldn't read
or write a word ♪
219
00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:52,639
♪ But happiness they found ♪
220
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:54,989
♪ In a little song they heard ♪
221
00:11:54,990 --> 00:11:56,949
♪ Here's how it would sound ♪
222
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,779
♪ Hut-sut rawlson
on the rillerah ♪
223
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:01,739
♪ And a brawla, brawla sooit ♪
224
00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:03,649
♪ Hut-sut rawlson
on the rillerah ♪
225
00:12:03,650 --> 00:12:06,829
♪ And a brawla sooit ♪
226
00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:07,999
What's that?
227
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,049
Tent revival?
228
00:12:10,050 --> 00:12:12,489
Is there something in there
I can put inside me
229
00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:17,189
or put myself inside or maybe,
I don't know, rub on myself?
230
00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:21,499
I was there,
in the field, a man of clay,
231
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:24,719
my heart and mind still mired
in the frantic decadence
232
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,109
and sin of this modern life.
233
00:12:27,110 --> 00:12:31,199
"Green chili this,"
and "peepshow that,"
234
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:36,340
when out of the sky it fell.
235
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,819
It exploded into the ground,
236
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:43,079
and I went to it.
237
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,039
My mind was made clear!
238
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,909
My heart became full
with the Lord!
239
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:52,609
My hair became very easy to comb!
240
00:12:52,610 --> 00:12:55,439
My teeth fell out
and landed on the ground
241
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,969
with a pretty little pitter-pat!
242
00:12:57,970 --> 00:13:01,969
And a voice whispered,
and I knew, I understood
243
00:13:01,970 --> 00:13:06,759
that it was a sacred piece
of Heaven's wall!
244
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,630
I must touch it!
245
00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:13,809
Only I may touch the relic!
246
00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:15,849
Praise be!
247
00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:19,769
Now, we have all heard tell
of an alien in our midst,
248
00:13:19,770 --> 00:13:21,509
but I say to you this...
249
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:24,779
it is not an alien
that has come to us
250
00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:27,469
but an angel! Hallelujah!
251
00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:29,560
Amen!
252
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:38,399
Oh!
253
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,659
Lord, thank you for
this sacred chunk.
254
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:45,929
Let no man sunder me
from my godly chunk.
255
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:48,019
Ta-da!
256
00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:51,239
It's me! It's me! The angel!
I'm here for that!
257
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,889
You don't look like an angel!
258
00:13:54,890 --> 00:13:57,769
Where are your wings?!
259
00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:00,289
I tuck 'em into my robes
when I'm not flying.
260
00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:02,549
- Where's your halo?
- Also tucked.
261
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,509
Most of these things
are for flying only,
262
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,729
and it's immediate
tuck-time on landing.
263
00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:09,519
Looks like she's wearing
a piece of the tent!
264
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,389
- Can we see you fly?
- I'd rather not.
265
00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:14,869
Maybe I'll just shoot you,
to be safe.
266
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:16,650
I saw him fly!
267
00:14:18,130 --> 00:14:21,219
It was the most beautiful thing
I ever saw.
268
00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:23,619
It brought tears
to these Southern eyes.
269
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:26,319
And as I looked upon
that flying angel,
270
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,279
I said to myself,
"Be strong, Roslyn!
271
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:32,889
Because whether it was poison
or not, Daddy is gone,
272
00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:35,239
and if you just
sit on your tuffet,
273
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,809
you'll never get to brush
your hair at the pink vanity
274
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:38,939
- of Hollywoodland."
- All right, that's plenty.
275
00:14:38,940 --> 00:14:40,459
I'm the angel,
276
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,899
is the main takeaway,
277
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:44,249
and I'm here for that piece
of our beautiful wall.
278
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,419
There's a big hole near the gate,
279
00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,769
and sinners
are wiggling through.
280
00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:51,650
Saint Peter's Gate?
281
00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:54,039
It is an angel!
282
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,219
I saw him fly, too!
283
00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:59,390
I think I saw him eat a big
cheeseburger across the street!
284
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:04,659
Well, I guess I should be going,
285
00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:07,009
but God thanks you
for your assistance!
286
00:15:07,010 --> 00:15:09,449
Will we get into Heaven for this?
287
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,619
Boy, you guys sure are
excited about Heaven.
288
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,449
What's it like?
289
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:16,109
It's nice.
290
00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:19,020
It's very nice.
291
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,759
Yeah, there's, like, the wall
and... and the gate, obviously.
292
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,379
I already mentioned those.
293
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:27,809
- What's inside the wall?
- Oh, it's got everything.
294
00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:30,029
There's a tent just like this,
295
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,949
and...
oh, they've got green chilies.
296
00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:36,339
As above, so below!
297
00:15:36,340 --> 00:15:38,949
Who wants a kiss
from a real angel?
298
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:41,739
Form a line!
299
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,999
Kiss line canceled!
Everyone, link arms
300
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,789
and form a Heaven's wall
here on Earth with your bodies!
301
00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:49,179
You should see a doctor,
302
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:51,660
tell him God said
"Radiation poisoning."
303
00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:56,409
Looks like someone was hoping
to get back to Heaven,
304
00:15:56,410 --> 00:16:00,409
but I'm afraid I'm going to
have to take you someplace...
305
00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:02,890
South of that.
306
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,029
You're a clever one, gray man.
307
00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:11,119
But I'm a clever gray man, too.
308
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,949
I realized you were no angel.
309
00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:16,079
Because I didn't have the wings.
310
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,819
I didn't know for sure
until you just confirmed it.
311
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:23,959
And now I'm taking you to
a new secret facility in Nevada.
312
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,909
It's called Area 51...
state-of-the-art.
313
00:16:26,910 --> 00:16:29,829
Makes Area 50 look like Area 49.
314
00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:32,359
- Will I like it there?
- Oh, you'll love it!
315
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,919
Unless you don't like
being dissected alive,
316
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,789
in which case, you'll hate it.
317
00:16:36,790 --> 00:16:38,138
What's that? A weather balloon?
318
00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:42,840
No, it's a friend.
319
00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:47,199
I can't see anything
with all this safe
320
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,200
and harmless crop dust!
321
00:16:50,850 --> 00:16:52,680
What the?!
322
00:16:55,470 --> 00:16:57,949
Great plan, gang.
323
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,249
I mean, I almost died,
but good plan.
324
00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:03,650
Good not great.
Now, where's our getaway car?
325
00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:07,480
Okay, this plan sucks, gang.
326
00:17:11,090 --> 00:17:13,179
This is all the getaway we need.
327
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:16,179
I'm going to get you alien scum.
328
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:18,529
Where is it?!
I know it's one of you!
329
00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:20,009
We'll never tell!
330
00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:21,969
And you can't take all of us!
331
00:17:21,970 --> 00:17:23,359
I'm taking all of you.
332
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,019
A-kazza-kazza-whaaa?
333
00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:27,189
I don't know which one of you
is the alien.
334
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:30,539
I mean, I feel pretty confident
it's one of the twins,
335
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:33,759
but I'm taking you all
to Area 51 anyway.
336
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,369
Uncle Cosworth, do something!
337
00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:38,810
One Bull Run Special coming up!
338
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,339
Okay that's not happening.
339
00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:43,599
I can't let you take them.
340
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,259
It's me. I'm the one you want.
341
00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:48,780
Don't say anything mean
about my body.
342
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,739
Hallelujah!
343
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:57,219
I cracked that man! I daddied him!
344
00:17:57,220 --> 00:17:58,959
Clifton, I can't believe
345
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,399
you were hiding behind
that cactus the whole time,
346
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,580
especially since you're
also standing right there.
347
00:18:08,150 --> 00:18:10,149
Sweet mother of pearl!
348
00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:11,890
Kill me! Do it!
349
00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:15,459
I wronged you.
350
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:18,199
I killed your, I want to say,
little lover?
351
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,720
Was it a... Was it a sex friend?
352
00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:25,079
It was your young.
I was afraid of that.
353
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,729
But before you righteously
murder me, can I say something?
354
00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:30,429
You and me are a lot alike.
355
00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:33,689
Fellow travelers.
Strangers on a strange planet.
356
00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:36,309
A strange planet
full of strange humans!
357
00:18:36,310 --> 00:18:38,999
They do weird stuff.
Like clapping.
358
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,829
They enjoy a thing so they
gather to look at the thing
359
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,749
and slap their hands together?
360
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,309
Big loud slappy clomps?
361
00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:46,399
Dumb.
362
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,139
In a way the computer was right.
363
00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:50,449
This planet has low potential.
364
00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:53,099
But then I got to thinking
about the green chili pepper.
365
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:57,279
Full of high quantities
of capsaicin, which is a poison.
366
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,589
But what you can't tell
367
00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:00,849
from your scanning tripod
on the moon,
368
00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:04,679
is that this poison is also
really spicy and flavorful.
369
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,209
Get where I'm going with this?
370
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:08,469
The people!
371
00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:10,599
They're like
the green chili peppers.
372
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,339
The things inside them
that they think are poison...
373
00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:16,389
their dark secrets
and their troubled pasts...
374
00:19:16,390 --> 00:19:19,090
just make them spicy
and flavorful.
375
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:24,180
I told you we were a lot alike.
376
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:27,490
He's waking up. That's my cue!
377
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:38,759
Tell everyone what you saw here
today if you want.
378
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,150
Who would ever believe you?
379
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:53,859
He...
380
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,429
He didn't say goodbye.
381
00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:57,819
To keep you safe, my friends.
382
00:19:57,820 --> 00:19:59,559
I don't want you to know too much.
383
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,779
Do you think he was the alien
384
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,519
the government was looking for?
385
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,610
Maybe they don't know enough.
386
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:28,979
And so Roger sets off
to travel this new world,
387
00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:31,639
seeking only his pleasure
and amusement,
388
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,069
perhaps righting a wrong
if he has time
389
00:20:34,070 --> 00:20:35,859
and it's not a big hassle.
390
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:39,649
All the while being pursued
by an intelligence agent,
391
00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:41,469
his smart-alecky bald son,
392
00:20:41,470 --> 00:20:45,739
and a vengeful shape-shifting
alien who seeks to destroy him.
393
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,869
His date with destiny
and the Smith family
394
00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:51,529
still decades in front of him,
he is...
395
00:20:51,530 --> 00:20:52,879
The Fellow Traveler.
396
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,099
And these are his stories.
397
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,140
Bye. Have a great time.
29481
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