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1
00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:05,464
Guys, we're going on a cruise
and you guys are coming with us.
2
00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:07,466
-And none of you have a choice.
-(LAUGHS)
3
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,301
A cruise? If I wanted to watch
4
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,136
a heavy-set guy in sandals
eating with his hands,
5
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,721
I would've just posted up
and watched Nick in the kitchen.
6
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,516
When we were together, we booked a cruise.
7
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,935
We tried to get
our money back, but it's...
8
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,478
BOTH: Nonrefundable.
9
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:21,730
-Yeah.
-(LAUGHS) They made that very clear.
10
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,607
Seemed like a safe bet at the time.
11
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:28,403
I don't want a refund on my cruises
and I don't want a refund on you.
12
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,155
We're never gonna die!
13
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,366
-NICK: Yeah!
-Y'all nasty.
14
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,743
Ah-ha-ha, yeah!
15
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:35,869
Where you going?
16
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,663
-Yes! Aah!
-What are you doing now?
17
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,122
Oh, there she goes... (LAUGHS)
18
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,208
Turns out, I do want a refund...
19
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,877
On you. Give me my money back!
20
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:48,215
Anyway, they let us
downgrade our "lovers' suite"
21
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,467
to include four more people.
And that's you guys.
22
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,094
I have some concerns
about going on a cruise
23
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,096
-with two people that just broke up.
-Absolutely. Me, too.
24
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,430
Yeah, I have the exact
same concern as Winnie.
25
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,474
-Like, I don't want to go.
-I have strong qualms as well.
26
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,560
-He got qualms.
-Put those qualms away.
27
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:00,811
-Yeah.
-It's gonna be fine, okay?
28
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,813
-Totally.
-We are killing this breakup, honestly.
29
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,858
But we're gonna be on a ship
in the middle of the ocean with no escape.
30
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:08,402
What if you guys get in a big fight
and we're stuck out there with you?
31
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,821
It'll be like a floating,
all-you-can-eat prison.
32
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,949
I promise you no weirdness.
33
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,493
Guess that's an excuse
to go out and buy a new bikini.
34
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:17,870
-Which could be good.
-I'm in.
35
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,080
Full steam ahead! We have two on board!
36
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:21,164
Nope!
37
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,626
Let's not do, uh, nautical puns, please.
38
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:27,087
If we're gonna do nautical puns,
we shouldn't... We shouldn't go.
39
00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:28,463
That's fair, and I won't.
40
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:29,882
I'm in, too.
41
00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,341
Uh, I have an idea.
Just throwing this out there.
42
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,011
What if we do the cruise
43
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,512
on the ground?
44
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,264
-Like, on land.
-That's silly.
45
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,765
What, are you scared of boats
or something?
46
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,267
Afraid... Me, afraid of boats?
47
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,144
-You're afraid of boats, dude.
-CECE: Ha! He's scared of boats?
48
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,395
-(LAUGHS)
-Hold on, hold on.
49
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:44,813
Oh, my God, you're scared of boats.
50
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,356
Dude! Is it the boats or the water?
Can you swim?
51
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,275
-Yeah. I'm not...
-You feel safe now?
52
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,152
I don't need to be safe, man. I'm brave!
53
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,946
I take dumps standing up! I'm a man!
54
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,450
(SINGING) Who's that girl?
55
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,534
Who's that girl?
56
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,785
It's Jess!
57
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,419
Schmidt, do you got
any fisherman's pants I can borrow?
58
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:08,545
What's that?
59
00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:11,048
It's a class ring for Cece.
60
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,800
She got her GED
and I've been tutoring her, so...
61
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,010
I had this made.
62
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,640
-What?
-Shame, shame,
63
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:21,767
I know your name...
64
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,769
Please don't "shame, shame" me, Winston.
65
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,646
(SINGSONGY) You're still in love with her.
66
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,314
I am not still in love with her, okay?
67
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,066
You're alone on a boat with Cece,
68
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,445
romantic cruise, and you give her jewelry.
Then what?
69
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,322
I tell her that I'm still in love with her
and that I want her back,
70
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,490
and then we have sex until the boat sinks.
71
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,783
I knew it, I knew it!
72
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,785
-To the bottom of the ocean.
-To the bottom of the ocean.
73
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,453
-Oh, man...
-The sand and the mackerel
74
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:42,746
and the chum and whatever
the hell else is down there.
75
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:43,956
-And crabs.
-Not the crabs.
76
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,582
-Yeah.
-Don't tell anyone.
77
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,919
I'm serious, Winston. Do not tell anyone.
78
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,046
What are you doing?
79
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,801
You are so weird.
80
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,971
Can you ever just leave the room
like a normal person?
81
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,764
ALL (CHANTING):
Cruise! Cruise! Cruise! Cruise!
82
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,183
Cruise! Cruise! Yeah!
83
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,104
COACH: A little tight.
84
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,772
With the amount of stuff
we're gonna be doing,
85
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,148
we're barely gonna be in the room.
86
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,733
(CHANTING) Cruise! Cruise!
87
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,361
BOTH: Cruise! Cruise. Cruise...
88
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:19,324
Welcome aboard the Wave Dancer,
your home for the next five days.
89
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,994
I am your captain, Jan Nortis,
90
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:25,289
and I invite you to dance
on the waves with me.
91
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,875
-(CHEERING)
-Cruise! Cruise!
92
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,585
(CHANTING) Cruise! Cruise! Cruise! Cru...
93
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,379
I'm gonna get drunk! Sorry.
94
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,965
Enthusiasm! I like these people.
95
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,427
Friendship is the most crucial
ingredient to any sea adventure.
96
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,179
Second only to buoyancy.
97
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,766
Because a ship has to float.
98
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,185
-Ah!
-Oh, okay.
99
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,269
(LAUGHING)
100
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,645
I didn't know where you was going with it.
101
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,355
NICK: We love you, Captain! Whoo-hoo!
102
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,565
Everybody, my name is Doug.
103
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,649
-Hi, Doug.
-Hi, Doug.
104
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:53,984
-Hey, Doug.
-I'm Winston.
105
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,236
Does anyone know what to do
in case of an emergency?
106
00:03:57,196 --> 00:04:00,157
Uh-oh. It looks like
we're all in the same boat.
107
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,201
-(LAUGHING POLITELY)
-Excuse me.
108
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:05,287
If we could just continue on without
any more nautical puns, that'd be great.
109
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,955
Feels like that's just
the lowest form of humor.
110
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,374
Looks like I found a Grumpy Gus!
111
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,626
-I'm sorry, a what?
-DOUG: Boo!
112
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:11,710
ALL: Boo...
113
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:12,794
-DOUG: Boo and hiss!
-Boo.
114
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:15,547
Folks, if you see Gus frowning around,
115
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,633
brighten up his day
by giving him a tickle.
116
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:18,884
-A what?
-Tickle.
117
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,385
-Quit it! Enough!
-Tickle. Tickles...
118
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,845
I don't like to be tickled, you guys.
119
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,263
-Tickle, tickle...
-All right! Enough!
120
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:26,475
We have fun! (CHUCKLES)
But the ocean does not.
121
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,559
What?
122
00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:30,229
Listen to what I have to say
if you don't want to die.
123
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,232
Don't worry, Coach. Everyone who works
on a cruise ship is a performer.
124
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,858
They're just doing a show.
125
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,276
So what? What are you
talking to me about it for?
126
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,611
-I'm not scared.
-I just thought you should know.
127
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:38,779
-You're definitely scared.
-Sure.
128
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,113
I'm not scared, dude.
What are you talking about?
129
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,198
-Yeah, no, of course.
-I'm not scared.
130
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,282
-You'll live.
-It's okay.
131
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,034
Okay, now I need a volunteer to help me
with some emergency procedures.
132
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,703
I'll do it. I don't care.
'Cause I'm not scared.
133
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,247
I'll volunteer my ass off.
134
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,998
(LAUGHS)
135
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,502
I ain't afraid of you! (LAUGHS)
136
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,880
-Let's say it's 3:00 a.m.
-3:00 a.m.
137
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,799
-There's alarms going off...
-What?
138
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,009
...freezing seawater up to your ankles.
139
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:04,972
Adults are screaming, babies are crying!
Go, go, go, go, go! You're up on deck!
140
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,890
There's an Italian guy
strapping chains together!
141
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,392
-You don't know what's going on!
-I know!
142
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,893
-What do you do?
-I don't know! What do I do?
143
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,311
-What do you do? What do you do?
-I-I get, I get in the boat?
144
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,521
-You get in the boat!
-I get in the boat!
145
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:13,897
-You're getting in the boat!
-I get in the boat!
146
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,023
Wrong! Wrong! No!
147
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,441
-What?
-The first thing you do is you
148
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,069
make sure your life preserver
is strapped on correctly.
149
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,946
No, no, screw that, man!
I'm gettin' in the boat!
150
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,114
Get out of my way!
151
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:23,574
-I'm getting in the boat!
-Where you going, Coach?
152
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,867
He's paddling to Heaven,
153
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,743
-'cause he's already dead.
-Don't say that!
154
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,370
Spread your wings, little angel.
155
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,873
-Douglas... that's a little too much.
-Oh, my God! Stroke! Stroke!
156
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,916
-Ah, there's two of these!
-Okay... All righty.
157
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,501
-How do you do two of these?
-Okay...
158
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,588
-You're safe. You're okay.
-Stroke! Stroke! (GASPS)
159
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,506
You're okay!
You're okay, you're okay, you're okay.
160
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,092
-(GASPING, SOBBING)
-Shh.
161
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,888
(SINGING) Amazing grace
162
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,431
I'm not afraid of boats.
163
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,765
(SINGING) How sweet...
164
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,350
-No one's afraid.
-(SOBS)
165
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,019
(SINGING) The sound...
166
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,937
-Okay, I'm good. I'm good, I'm good.
-You okay?
167
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,814
(SCREAMING)
168
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:58,400
Thank you.
169
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:02,070
Thank you all for coming to the...
To the seminar.
170
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,615
Remember to sign up
for the volleyball tournament.
171
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,243
JESS: Hey, Coach?
172
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:09,494
-You okay, buddy?
-You okay, pal?
173
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,246
Nah, you guys, I'm fine. I'm just gonna...
174
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,081
I'm gonna hang out in the room
for a little bit, okay?
175
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:15,083
-See you later.
-Later.
176
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,419
Cruise! Cruise. Cruise...
177
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:18,962
What should we do first?
178
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,422
-Cheer up, Grumpy Gus!
-All right!
179
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:22,216
-Cut your fingernails, man!
-Ha ha!
180
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,300
-Nice!
-With this tickling.
181
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,384
(LAUGHS)
182
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,053
Hey, hey, hey, guys. The captain's coming.
183
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,931
NICK: It's the captain.
WINSTON: What's up, Captain?
184
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,098
NORTIS: Hello, again.
185
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:33,519
I'm Captain Jan Nortis,
as I previously stated.
186
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:36,688
I would just like to say
that I am a fan of your enthusiasm.
187
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,983
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Please don't do that.
188
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,193
Sorry.
189
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,196
I may be a captain,
but first and foremost,
190
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,322
I am a woman.
191
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,157
Absolutely.
192
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,245
Come on!
193
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:55,749
Did anyone just see that she
was flirting like crazy with Nick?
194
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,752
That was, like, the most
shameless flirting I've ever seen.
195
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,337
"Keep it in your pants"
196
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,339
is all I have to say
to Captain Jan Nortis.
197
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,590
-You're being really weird.
-You're being weird.
198
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:04,925
-Super weird right now.
-Here we go.
199
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,093
This is starting now already.
200
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,177
I am not being weird.
201
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,096
You're creating an awkward
situation for no reason.
202
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,222
Don't do this, Jess.
203
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:13,183
If this ship moves
as fast as that captain,
204
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,893
we'll be in Ensenada by 6:00.
205
00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:16,979
Well, she was flirting with you.
206
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,773
Which I'm okay with,
because she is a handsome woman.
207
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,942
Jess, stop. You're being weird.
208
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:25,028
No, I'm not being weird.
I'm not being weird!
209
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,406
I am, I am being weird.
210
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,740
Okay, focus up for a second.
211
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,742
Okay, they say this is
an all-inclusive trip,
212
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:31,952
but you know what that means.
213
00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,996
But from their eyes,
you have a couple of drinks,
214
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,039
and then you're done.
And then what have you paid for?
215
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,541
-We're smarter than that, okay?
-We are.
216
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,710
We're gonna take every class,
we're gonna do every activity.
217
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,378
-We're gonna get our money's worth.
-Okay.
218
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,504
-Got it?
-Yeah.
219
00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:43,922
Uh, Jessica Day and Nick Miller.
220
00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:46,258
All right, Day-Miller party.
221
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:50,137
Here is your itinerary
for the Grand Romance package.
222
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,972
No! No!
223
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:55,267
Yeah, we're looking for
something more like PG-13.
224
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,811
What do you have? Do you have,
like, a friendship package or...
225
00:07:57,895 --> 00:08:01,190
What package would you recommend
for two brothers looking for trouble?
226
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,567
The Grand Romance package
is nonrefundable.
227
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,944
Well, we're not doing that, so we're good.
228
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:08,947
Are you sure? This includes
over $600 of activities and...
229
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:11,241
-We're gonna do it.
-We're not doing it.
230
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:15,704
$600? That is 600 one-dollar bills.
That's the only way I can imagine it.
231
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,539
-We can do this.
-Okay. Yeah.
232
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:20,375
We're gonna get our money's worth.
We are the best ex-couple
233
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:22,586
-in the whole world.
-Yeah, we are.
234
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,670
Yes. Okay?
235
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,422
You guys are exes?
236
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,341
Yeah, you're not gonna want to do this.
237
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:28,967
-We're doing it.
-Give us the folder.
238
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:40,854
(SIGHS)
239
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,231
-I just wanted to say...
-Grumpy Gus!
240
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,608
No! No! No!
241
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,902
-Grumpy Gus.
-Sweet mother of sea dragon!
242
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,445
What? What happened?
243
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:54,576
I just witnessed a dolphin
being cut straight in half by our keel.
244
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,496
-It's a ghastly sight.
-What?
245
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,248
That's horrible!
246
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,332
Terrible.
247
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,001
It's a shame about the dolphin, man.
Really is.
248
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,169
What?
249
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,047
As your bodies become one,
250
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:11,593
follow your breath through your spine
to the soles of your feet
251
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,595
and into your genitals.
252
00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,597
-What?
-(LAUGHS)
253
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:17,349
Into my genitals?
254
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,226
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
255
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,853
Breathe into your genitals...
256
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,604
I'm not breathing into my genitals, lady.
257
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,064
All right, lovers, let's get sexy.
258
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,983
Give me your sexiest pose right here.
259
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,068
-This is it. This is it.
-Sexiest pose.
260
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:30,070
That's not...
It's not romantic in any way.
261
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,489
Think about the first time you kissed.
How was it?
262
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,574
If you can move in.
263
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,286
Come back in. Come back in.
264
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,581
Wow, I've never done a couples
massage on exes before.
265
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,417
In case you're wondering
what that scar on his back is,
266
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,544
it's from falling on a fence
when he was six.
267
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,838
I was legally dead for ten minutes.
268
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,548
We're going to make all the towel animals
269
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:52,176
you guys find in your rooms
every single night!
270
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,511
-We made laundry.
-Nice.
271
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:55,971
(SINGING) We're always happy
272
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,891
Life's for living
Yeah, that's our philosophy...
273
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,852
We're just totally different people.
274
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,645
Yeah, we just don't belong together.
275
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,355
(BOTH LAUGH)
276
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,983
You're really bumming me out.
277
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,444
Hey, Jess, is this doing
weird stuff to your eyes?
278
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,528
Definitely.
279
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,864
Give me five, man! Leaving me hanging!
280
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,034
(LAUGHS) You know what? You were right.
281
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,410
This isn't weird at all.
282
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,703
No, it isn't.
283
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:21,955
Are they out of rosé?
284
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,081
You know what?
285
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,251
This is an old bartending trick, Jess.
286
00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:28,837
Put your glass out. You go like this...
287
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:29,963
No way.
288
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,299
-Look at that. You got some rosé.
-You're a genius.
289
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,635
-I think I'm smarter at sea.
-(BOTH LAUGH)
290
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:40,265
You look...
291
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,684
You look like you belong here.
292
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,019
What's that, on a ship?
293
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,188
Yeah, you, too.
294
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:52,778
(BOTH LAUGH)
295
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,786
Oh, yo! Yo!
296
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,830
Yo-yo-yo! Yo, pal.
297
00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:05,290
Yo.
298
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:08,710
-Well, that was a mistake.
-Yes, it was!
299
00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:09,795
That was not on purpose.
300
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,630
-My fault, too. Yep.
-Yeah, it was...
301
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,507
We can't do the Grand Romance
package anymore.
302
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,300
-I agree. We should... No.
-It's too much. It's too intense.
303
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,177
-They whip you into this sexual frenzy.
-I know.
304
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,846
It's weird. I just feel like...
305
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:20,597
-Yeah, 'cause everything's fine.
-You know, I feel like a cruise tonight.
306
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:21,682
It's not, like, a really big deal.
I feel like...
307
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,559
We're good. Everything's good.
Yeah, no problem, no problem.
308
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,018
-All right, bye, dude.
-Bye.
309
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,608
Jess, I've been looking all over for you.
310
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,903
I was hoping that as a group,
we could do a little night fishing
311
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:38,156
that I already put a deposit down on,
so we're going.
312
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,825
And if we don't catch anything,
313
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,828
they'll let us shoot a machine gun
directly into the water.
314
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,454
That is international waters
for you, baby.
315
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:47,416
I would really love nothing more
than to go out there and shoot
316
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:48,876
a bunch of fish in the face with you,
317
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,878
but I think that's more of a Nick thing.
318
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,672
And yesterday, we decided
it would be better for everyone
319
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:56,508
if we just spent the rest
of the time apart.
320
00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:57,718
What?
321
00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,762
I'm really sorry. I wanted this
to be a great vacation for you guys.
322
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,431
But look, we split up the ship.
323
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,641
I took starboard, he took the other one.
324
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,603
I got the starboard
and she got the other side.
325
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:10,731
What are you doing, man?
You're hanging out by an exhaust vent.
326
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,567
It keeps the left side of my face warm
and it sounds like the ocean.
327
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,861
More than the ocean sounds like the ocean?
328
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:18,530
Come on, Nick. You guys can't be
separate the whole trip.
329
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:20,991
The trip just made it clear.
The breakup's too hard.
330
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,743
I don't think we can be
friends for a while.
331
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:26,079
What? You're not gonna be
friends with Jess?
332
00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:28,707
And even you guys said it.
It's just too weird.
333
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:31,168
Nick, man, that's like the president
and the vice president
334
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,252
not being best friends.
335
00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:33,545
-They're not best friends.
-Come on.
336
00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:34,963
Everybody knows they're best friends.
337
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,465
They work together,
but they're not best friends.
338
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,091
Dude, they're the president
and the vice president.
339
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:39,176
Okay.
340
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,677
I mean, is this something
you're okay with?
341
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,638
No, I'm not okay, but what am I gonna do?
342
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:47,392
Well, I mean, look, man,
we all have to be together on this trip.
343
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:48,727
That's why we came here.
344
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,897
Nick, there's gotta be something I can do.
345
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,983
-Yeah, you know what you can do?
-Yeah, anything, come on.
346
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:57,611
You can cash in my skee ball tickets
on the other side of the boat.
347
00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,989
Get me one of those toy spiders
that I was talking to you about before.
348
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:02,699
-And if they're out...
-All right, man, all right.
349
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,952
...then grab me a bunch of erasers?
350
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,080
The opportunity has not presented itself
351
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:11,166
as I'd hoped it would,
so I'm creating it now.
352
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:16,463
When I say, "May our progeny bathe
in the infinite glow," that's your cue.
353
00:13:16,547 --> 00:13:18,131
Now, what... What did I just say?
354
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,800
You repeat it
so I know that you know the cue.
355
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,385
May our pro... What?
356
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:26,807
-What's wrong with you? Unbelievable.
-I don't know what you're saying.
357
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:30,060
I'll just say, "Go," okay?
When I say, "Go," you start to play.
358
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,105
And before she sees, just get behind...
Get behind the vent.
359
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,314
Get behind the vent.
360
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:39,862
(CLEARS THROAT)
361
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:42,614
Cece...
362
00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:44,199
Hmm? Hey.
363
00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:48,579
Um, your hair in the moonlight...
It looks so shiny.
364
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:51,456
You know, I'm trying to get a signal
so I can talk to Buster,
365
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,458
but it's just impossible out here.
366
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:57,379
In the moonlight, your eyes,
they sparkle like, like fish eyes.
367
00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,799
I got one. Now, like, what, do I have to
hold it at this angle the whole time?
368
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:03,969
Why is it so important for you
to get in touch with Buster?
369
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,974
(SIGHS) Look, you know better than anyone
370
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:12,019
that I don't have the best
of luck with relationships.
371
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,732
And I know you think he's young for me.
372
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:19,860
I don't.
373
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,615
I just want you to be happy.
374
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:28,869
Thank you.
375
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,749
WINSTON: Guys, guys!
You got to come with me right now.
376
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,459
Be warned, though.
377
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,586
There is a weird guy with a violin
378
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,421
-hiding behind this vent.
-A what?
379
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:42,257
Dude! (GROANS)
380
00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:44,301
-What's going on?
-Come on... Right.
381
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:51,642
I will... I will knock you out
where you stand, sir.
382
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:52,851
Get back there.
383
00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:58,524
They're gonna take a break
from being friends for a while?
384
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,359
-What does that even mean?
-Guys, this is on us.
385
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,986
We're the ones who put the pressure
on them to not be weird.
386
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,238
I know. What were we thinking?
387
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,532
Of course they're gonna be weird.
They just broke up.
388
00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:08,408
Hey, that's on y'all.
I-I have nothing to do with that.
389
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:11,286
I've just been chilling in the room.
Hanging out, singing songs.
390
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,956
(SINGING) You are safe in the room
391
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,916
You are safe, you will live...
392
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,919
I've been trying to get them to talk
to each other all morning, okay?
393
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,003
(HUMMING)
394
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:22,464
I passed up on breakfast pizza
and singles bingo.
395
00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:25,968
And those bingo chicks?
Oh, they put out. Bingo!
396
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,678
They're not gonna listen to us.
397
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,388
(QUIETLY) Don't-don't ever do that again.
398
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:30,681
The bingo thing? That's what they...
399
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:31,974
It's funny, that's what they say when I...
400
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:33,767
You know who they will listen to, though?
401
00:15:33,851 --> 00:15:35,185
-A doctor. The president!
-The ca...
402
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,353
What were you...
403
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,646
-What were you gonna say?
-The captain.
404
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,730
The captain.
405
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:41,441
(OVER P.A.)
Attention, this is your captain.
406
00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:45,279
Would Nick Miller and Jessica Day
please return to their stateroom
407
00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:49,741
for a non-life-threatening
but necessary official maritime reason.
408
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,952
This is not an emergency.
409
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,745
It is definitely not.
410
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:55,747
Hey!
411
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,207
-Did you hear the captain?
-Yes!
412
00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:59,543
-Go, go, go!
-(ALL CLAMORING)
413
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,837
Everybody inside! This is not a drill!
414
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:02,921
Okay!
415
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:07,176
Okay, the door is locked.
416
00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:10,304
The "do not disturb" sign
has been employed.
417
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:13,557
We are not leaving here
until you guys are friends again.
418
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,268
We just wanted to spend
our vacation alone.
419
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:19,271
-Yes.
-On separate strange parts of this ship.
420
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,689
-Yeah, it's...
-I really wanted to see
421
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,232
how the ship worked.
I think it's interesting.
422
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,693
And I really wanted to see
how the other side of the ship worked.
423
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:25,819
-Yeah.
-It's interesting.
424
00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:27,279
We should've never asked you guys
425
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:28,614
-not to be weird around us.
-Mm-hmm.
426
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,115
We-we want you to be weird around us.
427
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:31,283
-Yeah.
-SCHMIDT: Just let us in.
428
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:34,786
Open your cellar doors,
and let us taste your jams.
429
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:37,497
-You want to "taste our jams"?
-Again, you have lost me.
430
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:39,208
Listen to yourself for once in your life.
431
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:40,751
JESS: It's my jam and you can't have it.
432
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,211
First of all, that's my
433
00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:43,712
-ex-girlfriend's jam, dude.
-I put a ban on jam.
434
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:46,089
Okay, you know what? All of us are weird.
435
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:49,051
But we're all still friends.
So, let's talk about it.
436
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:50,219
I'll go first.
437
00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:53,472
I've made out with half
of the guys in this room.
438
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,098
-Okay. That's a start.
-All right.
439
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:58,060
That's a start. And I have had nightmares
440
00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:00,854
about making out with the other
two guys in this room.
441
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,481
-So, yourself?
-And me.
442
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,233
-Nick and Winston.
-CECE: Okay. Okay.
443
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:06,652
-It's good for you to finally admit that.
-I respect that.
444
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:07,736
Yeah, thanks for sharing.
445
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:11,657
Um, it really bums me out
that I'll never know the infinite joy
446
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:14,451
of what it feels like to
carry a child inside of me.
447
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:16,954
-Wow.
-WINSTON: Okay, Coach!
448
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,121
That's honesty.
449
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,623
-That's real honest.
-CECE: That's how it's done.
450
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,251
-Okay, um...
-Here we go, up we go.
451
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,753
I feel like it is really weird that...
452
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,923
I live with my ex-boyfriend.
453
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,633
CECE: See? There you go!
COACH: Nice!
454
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:30,801
Just turn on the tap.
455
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,427
-You know, let it out.
-Really nice.
456
00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:34,388
That was cool that you admitted that.
457
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,974
I feel weird about living
with my ex-girlfriend.
458
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,058
-Yeah.
-You know, I think
459
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,351
it's a landmine for trouble.
460
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,186
What's gonna happen when
other hunks come around?
461
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,480
What's gonna happen when you
bring some ho-bag in the house?
462
00:17:43,564 --> 00:17:45,274
Exactly! Like, that...
It's scary stuff, and I feel like
463
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,109
when a breakup happens,
you mostly get away.
464
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,735
'Cause I'm gonna beat her ass.
465
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,071
What if she's bigger than you?
466
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,364
She probably will be.
467
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,575
(LAUGHS) Oh, snap! That was good.
468
00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:56,118
-(ALL LAUGHING)
-Good for you!
469
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,494
-Yeah!
-I saw that, man.
470
00:17:57,578 --> 00:17:58,912
That's how it all starts.
This is how it starts.
471
00:17:58,996 --> 00:17:59,997
-Good.
-That's good, man,
472
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,081
-that's really good.
-Yeah.
473
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,374
Well, it's nice to talk to you about this.
474
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,001
Yeah, it was really weird when you
475
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,210
-tried to kiss me last night.
-(GROANS)
476
00:18:05,294 --> 00:18:06,628
And you licked my ear.
477
00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:07,713
-What?
-What?
478
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,007
-You guys kissed last night? What?
-This is so confusing!
479
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,425
-It was just a lapse.
-We were drunk.
480
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:13,719
-You guys are getting back together?
-We're not getting back together.
481
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,179
You're confusing everybody!
482
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,848
-No, it was the Grand Romance package.
-My God!
483
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,434
They were, like, folding these towels.
It was so sexy.
484
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,395
You try folding towels like that
and see if you don't get turned on.
485
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,480
Yeah, because they fold
the towels like vaginas.
486
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:26,940
They're swans, dude.
487
00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:30,402
And the yoga instructor was, like,
breathing into our genitals, and, like...
488
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,738
-It opened everyone up.
-(CLICKS TONGUE) Yeah.
489
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,157
-In a real true way.
-Absolutely.
490
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,201
This thing was ready to talk
to that thing again.
491
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,036
-Emotionally and sexually.
-Yeah.
492
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,329
-What?
-What's wrong with you, man?
493
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:41,496
-What?
-Are you crazy?
494
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:42,581
SCHMIDT: Just pick one.
495
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,374
-Either you're together or you're not!
-(ALL CLAMORING)
496
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:45,834
WINSTON: Gonna punch you in the face, bro!
497
00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:47,211
Things are really weird.
498
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:48,337
Agreed.
499
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,215
But I'm okay with it.
500
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:54,468
-Me, too.
-Hey, there.
501
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:57,095
-Aw! What?
-All right, okay.
502
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:58,764
-Good enough, good start.
-Wonderful.
503
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,557
Thank you for doing this
weird intervention thing.
504
00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:02,392
-This was pretty great.
-Yeah, it worked out.
505
00:19:02,476 --> 00:19:03,644
I think everybody's good now.
506
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,103
Let's go eat our weight in fake crab.
507
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,230
-There you go.
-Absolutely.
508
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,314
-There we go.
-Great idea.
509
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:08,440
I'm gonna get drunk.
510
00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,150
WINSTON: I gotta get psyched up.
511
00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:11,693
Gotta get psyched up.
512
00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:14,071
The door's stuck.
Is that part of your thing?
513
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,864
-No.
-Well, call security.
514
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:17,366
-I got rid of the room phone.
-Got rid of the phone?
515
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:18,742
I-I thought it was gonna be
more intense than this.
516
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:19,868
-You murdered us!
-I-I'm sorry!
517
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:21,411
-Open up! Open up!
-What? No.
518
00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:22,496
-Watch out.
-CECE: You know what?
519
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:23,914
It's just, it's usually the handle.
520
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,791
-Just, like, get the handle...
-I'll do it, I'll do it!
521
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,125
-I got it.
-All right, move. I got it.
522
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:28,460
-Guys, guys, guys!
-Okay, here we go.
523
00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:29,878
Calm down.
524
00:19:29,962 --> 00:19:32,464
How long could it take
for someone to hear us?
525
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:40,138
-Oh.
-(FLIES BUZZING)
526
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,227
We did bad things to the tub.
527
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:46,645
(SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
528
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,730
I got the sugars.
529
00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:51,233
I'm the sugar man. (LAUGHS)
530
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:53,610
Silence! I have the talking soap!
531
00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:55,445
-(CRYING)
-Oh!
532
00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:57,281
JESS: I'm the queen of Wednesday!
533
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:01,493
It's so nice to have a family portrait.
534
00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:05,664
We should shower less.
I think we look really great.
535
00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:09,084
I'm really glad we framed this.
I mean, what a proud moment.
536
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,086
It is cool being in the paper, though.
537
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:13,255
-(LAUGHS)
-Part of me died on that boat.
538
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:16,466
-(LAUGHS) Oh.
-I will never be the same again.
539
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,635
All right, man. Take a nap.
Sleep it off, man.
540
00:20:18,719 --> 00:20:21,305
I'm sorry. Is Cece checking out Schmidt?
541
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:22,556
What?
542
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,433
Let me see that.
543
00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:25,517
CECE: Huh?
544
00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:27,102
(LAUGHS)
545
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,354
What are you talking about, Winston?
546
00:20:29,438 --> 00:20:33,192
WINSTON (SINGSONGY):
Shame, shame, I know your name.
547
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:36,195
You do not know my name, Winston.
548
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,781
WINSTON: Cece got a boyfriend
who used to be Betty!
549
00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:41,366
CECE: Yeah, you better run, bitch.
550
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:43,994
WINSTON: Ow! Ow! Ow! That's my mustache!
551
00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:48,332
(SIGHS) You know, I've been thinking a lot
552
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,834
-about your sleeping arrangements and...
-Weird.
553
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:54,254
I might have an idea on how to
make things a little bit less weird.
554
00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:57,799
-Really? What is it?
-Two words.
555
00:20:58,467 --> 00:20:59,760
-Bunk beds.
-No. (LAUGHS)
556
00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:01,678
No, I'm not putting bunk beds
in my room, Schmidt.
557
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:04,097
Not in your room. In my room.
558
00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:07,142
It'll be just like college, my man.
Only with way more sex.
559
00:21:07,226 --> 00:21:09,186
-What?
-That came out wrong.
560
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:12,940
I'm not bunking
with you, Schmidt. (LAUGHS)
561
00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:16,443
-Yeah, he is.
-Yeah, he is.
562
00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:18,362
Yeah, he is.
563
00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:20,572
There's gonna be a lot of rules,
564
00:21:20,656 --> 00:21:23,075
-and I'm gonna make most of them.
-You can make them all, man!
565
00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:25,869
-Except for the ones that I make!
-(BOTH LAUGH)
566
00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:27,704
SCHMIDT: First one in gets dibs!
567
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,290
Hmm.
44006
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