All language subtitles for Stargate SG-1 S10 E06 BluRay 10Bit 1080p AC3 HEVC-d3g

NARRATOR: Previously
on Stargate SG-1.

I'm not just interested
in outer space,

I'm from outer space.

ANNOUNCER ON TV:
Four excellent heroes

in an extraordinary
new sci-fi series,

starring Nick Marlowe
as the wry Colonel Danning.

As a matter of fact, it does
say "Colonel" on my uniform.

ANNOUNCER: Wormhole X-treme.

It's what I do.

HAMMOND: He sold
the idea to the studio.

He obviously got the whole thing

from his knowledge of
the Stargate Program.

No, if the Air Force
didn't want it to happen,

they wouldn't have
let it go this far.

Come on out.

FURLING: We are the Furlings.

We thought we'd
never get to meet you.

TEAL'C: We led them
straight here.

Sam! I thought I
could make it work.

The thermodynamic loop is
feeding back into the planet's core.

(FURLINGS SPEAKING
FURLING LANGUAGE)

CARTER:
Well, that never happened.

Well, you've got to open big,
catch people's attention,

make them think the whole
thing is going to be jam-packed.

I love jam.

Oh, I get it,

it's yet another playful twist on
words in your Earth language.

It makes us look stupid.

JACKSON: You realize
it's not actually us.

Okay, okay, it makes
the characters look stupid.

I mean, do you really think the best
way to introduce the heroes of the story

is to show them causing
a massive catastrophe?

That's realistic.

I don't care.

Come on. It'll be fun.

You know, you say
that about everything.

Come to think of it,
why am I doing this?

To make sure that the Air Force
is being properly represented

and because General O'Neill

has requested you specifically.

Of course he did.

Jackson, how often
do we get to give

notes on a big Hollywood
feature script?

I believe this is intended
to be a television movie.

A fictionalized, albeit slightly
ridiculous, version of Stargate Command

is an excellent cover
for the real thing

in the event of a security leak.

Plausible deniability.

I'm sorry, sir, did you
say slightly ridiculous?

You're doing this.
You have no choice.

Just give the man five minutes.

I'll get you out of this
when the time comes.

VALA: Um, I've been
looking through this,

and there doesn't seem
to be any mention of

a sexy female alien anywhere.

I'm not even in this.

CARTER: You know,
the really unbelievable part

is that anyone would
consider spending

millions of dollars this thing.

I mean, seriously,
all these writers

and they couldn't come up
with anything better?

I don't know, I've been
watching a lot of television lately

and, apart from
one glaring omission,

it doesn't seem to be that bad.

Maybe we can make it better.

No, I'm with Sam on this one.

I mean, who makes
a movie out of a series

that only lasted three episodes?

It allegedly
performed well on DVD.

No, I'm not using any shots
from the series.

It's a movie, not a clip show.

The budget is the budget.

They are a bunch of
pencil-pushing, bean-counting idiots.

You tell them
if they don't like it,

I'm going to take it
somewhere else.

You know not to say
that last part, right?

Yeah, movie,
not clip show, is fine.

Yeah, I've got to go. Yeah.

Your cell coverage is
just terrible in here.

How's it going? You done?

Well, it certainly seems
to be packed full of jam.

I knew I should have
given you my first draft.

The producer brought
in the other writers.

I thought you were the producer.

Yeah, the real one.

Look, just be honest.

I trust you guys.
That's why I'm here.

Just tell me what you think.

MARTIN: Come on,
you must have some ideas.

Don't be afraid.
Just pitch them out.

We call it spinning.

Don't worry.
No one's going to judge you.

Okay, for starters,
I think you need

a strong opening title sequence.

Are you serious?

No one does that anymore.

You just throw up the title
and get on with it.

(ALARM BLARING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

Walter! Dial 447.

The only way to stop this is to
get the device back to the planet.

(SCREAMING)

Barn, barn!

Look, uh, no offense, but
zombies have been done to death.

No pun intended.

Besides, this is
science fiction, not horror.

Did I mention
the Tel'chak device?

'Cause that's what turned them into
zombies. (MUSICAL CELL PHONE RINGING)

Sorry. Go for Marty.

Oh, hey, Charlie. What's up?

(WHISPERING) It's the studio.

What kind of problem?

Just out of curiosity, what
was the rest of the team doing

while your character was
fighting the zombies?

MARTIN: Son of a bitch!

Studio executives, huh?

What? Oh, no, Charlie,
he's a great guy.

He's the only one I trust.

So, what's the problem then?

Our lead backed out.

How am I supposed to tell a
story without my lead character?

Easy. You just bring in
a character to replace him.

What?

MARTIN: You guys
have to help me.

I mean, how can I keep the
main character in the story

without actually having
the actor who plays him?

Well, you could have the other
characters refer to him all the time,

maybe get him on the phone
once in a while.

Oh, yeah, right.
I mean something cool,

like face-switching
or body-swapping.

As if anyone would believe that.

Come on, you guys must have some
real-life experiences I can draw on.

Oh, well, there was that time
that Colonel O'Neill was invisible.

So, essentially, what I think
happened is that you were bombarded

by the particle field being
emanated by the cloaking generator.

See, you were in the engine
room standing right next to it

when the device was turned on.

That would account for
the minute traces of radiation

we've been picking up from you.

But the good news is, I think I've
found a way to reverse the process.

We have to go back to the mothership
and get the cloaking generator.

Sam, who are you talking to?

Oh, Colonel O'Neill.
I was just explaining to him

how we're going to
make him visible again.

No, you're not.

Jack's in Hammond's office.

I can't believe he did
that to me again. Yeah.

You know, getting that cloaking
generator off that mothership,

that's going to be
the least of our problems.

Now, getting Jack to help,
that's going to be the hard part.

Oh, don't tell me. Oh, yes.

He likes being invisible.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

And so,
by translating this tablet,

we should be able to determine

the most important thing
in the universe.

(O'NEILL SNORING)

Everyone just want
to poke around,

see if you can find him?

Sir, are you there?

O'NEILL: Nope.

You cannot remain
this way, O'Neill.

Why not?

It gives us an advantage
over the Goa'uld.

I can sneak around all I want
totally undetected.

I give us
the element of surprise.

The bottom line is I can do
more for this planet invisible

than I ever could as my
own sweet, salient self.

I assume I'm staring
at you stoically.

Not buying it, eh?

No.

You are most transparent,
O'Neill.

Oh, I get it. Good one.

I can see right through you.

Don't push it.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

O'NEILL: Hello? Hand signals?

I'm waving you over.

Okay, I've made
the necessary adjustments.

All you have to do now is
initiate the sequence.

Okay.

Let's do it.

O'NEILL: Oh, yeah.
This is better.

It might feel like
kind of a cheat.

Maybe it's best just not
to mention the guy at all.

Yeah, besides, invisibility
can be very powerful.

You might not want to
open that can of worms.

You don't want your heroes
to become too powerful.

Well, you could always invent
some negative side-effects.

That's how we talked Colonel
O'Neill into becoming visible again.

Okay, that's it, SG-1,
you are cleared to leave.

Thank you.
MARTIN: They can't leave!

They haven't finished
reading my script!

That's funny, I thought it
said "General" on my uniform.

We owe you one, sir.
You mean another one.

What are you talking about?

I thought you said
it was going to be fun.

Not after his zombie
idea got shot down.

So, where are you
guys all off to?

Some place pretty important,
huh?

It's just a recon mission,
isn't it?

"Just" a recon mission?

This is no simple recon mission.

This is no less than my
200th trip through the gate.

Really?

You're counting? You bet.

TEAL'C: I have been reflecting
while changing into our gear.

I believe this is far from your
200th mission, Colonel Mitchell.

I didn't say 200th mission.

I said 200th trip
through the gate.

That's counting off-world gates,

back and forth,
pretty much anytime

I crossed the event horizon.

Yeah. This is going to be huge.

The big 200.

(INAUDIBLE)

Fix it. Quickly.

I'm on it.

Indeed.

Gotta go!

We've got 10 seconds before
the time dilation field is activated.

If we don't make it through the
gate, we'll be stuck here forever!

Okay, this could be a problem.

That was close, huh?

Oh, yeah.

JACKSON: Are you serious?
MARTIN: What?

How did we escape?

They.

Fine, they, they, they.
How did they escape?

Isn't it obvious?

Even if the valley
wasn't filled with Jaffa,

we could never have made it to the
gate and dialed out in under 10 seconds.

Good.
See, that's why we're here.

So, what do you think?

Maybe not such a round number.

How about 387

What difference does it make? I
mean, it's not like you're going to have

an actual ticking clock
on the screen.

That's brilliant!

That's ridiculous.

Trust me, jeopardy plus
ticking clock is box office.

It's the E equals MC-squared
of the entertainment world.

Ask any executive.

Except I think you've replaced
jeopardy with certain death.

Oh, come on.
You guys have escaped

situations more
dire than this before.

He has a point.

So show the actual escape.

Oh, no, no, no.

You can't give away
too much, too early.

It'll step on the ending.

Maybe if my character
doesn't say, "This is a problem."

He could say something like,
"This should be easy."

How many times
do I have to tell you?

It's not you.

Colonel Danning
is based on Colonel O'Neill.

Please tell me you have
the gate working again.

We're running
another diagnostic,

but right now, we're stumped.

The power's getting through
to the capacitors,

but, for some reason,
the charge isn't holding.

That's causing
the control crystal

to send feedback
into the interface

and reset the programming code

of the base computer's
dialing protocol.

Whoa! That was awesome.
Say that again.

No.

Oh. Everybody, take five.

I've got to get that down
before I forget it.

MARTIN: The power getting
to the flux capacitor,

but feedback is not feeding
back into the feedback face.

This is gold!

Hey.

Forget about the techno talk.

No one's really
interested in it.

You're an alien, right?

Exactly, and I know
just what this movie needs.

So how would you know
what sci-fi fans from Earth

would be interested in?

Aren't you also an alien?

Yeah, but I've been here
quite a while.

Right. Look, I think I know
a good story when I hear one.

Don't you want this movie to
appeal to a broad range of people?

From Earth.

I have all kinds of
fabulous adventures,

none of which have been
classified by the Air Force.

Okay, shoot.
Give me your best one.

Right.

I was in a stolen cargo ship,
on my way home,

when a solar flare
from a nearby star

wreaked havoc with
my navigation system

and I was forced to crash-land
on the nearest planet.

In a bizarre twist of fate,

I crashed right on top of the
Goa'uld who ruled that planet,

which was fortunate because my
ship was too badly damaged to repair

and I needed help.

The local villagers
were very grateful.

They introduced me to
a lovely fair-haired Tok'ra

who had been hiding
out on the planet.

She told me the legend
of a powerful Ascended being

who supposedly lived in
some distant, far-off mountains

through a treacherous forest.

Look, I don't have all day.
Cut to the chase.

All right. I met up with a number
of my friends along the way,

and after a dangerous
and eventful journey,

we finally come face to face
with the Ascended being.

What can I do for you?

Well, at first I thought
I just wanted to go home,

but now I've decided I'd quite
like to be a part of something.

A regular part,
if you catch my drift.

Oh, and these guys have
their own issues. Boys?

That's The Wizard of Oz.

Oh, you've seen that one?

Uh, yeah.

Oh, that's my phone.
Martin Lloyd.

I didn't hear it ring.

It's on vibrate.

MARTIN: Yes, go ahead.

I can sing.

So how's it going?

Not well.

Samantha, 200 is waiting.

Right now, I'm just hoping
we haven't done something

to permanently damage the gate.

How can something work
perfectly fine for 10 years

then all of a sudden
it doesn't work anymore?

I don't know. Okay, try it now.

Uh, we're getting some strange
power readings here, Colonel.

Shut it down.

It's not responding.

The gate's drawing massive
amounts of energy into its capacitors.

Close the blast door
and the iris.

I can't shut it down.

Siler, manually cut the power!

(SCREAMING)

Why does this
always happen to me?

Sir, we have to
evacuate the base!

This is General Landry.

I'm declaring
a code red emergency.

All personnel,
evacuate the base immediately.

(ALARM BLARING) Sir, the
capacitors are overloading.

We have to get out of here now.

Hurry.

And that is the end of act two.

The mountain blows up?

No possible hope for survival.

Cool, huh? I just wrote it based
on what's going on with the gate.

I love it
when art imitates life.

Hang on. We're alive
in the next scene.

Oh, I just haven't
fixed that part yet.

I'm thinking I can
back-sell it and say

you were beamed out
at the last second.

JACKSON: Beamed out?

Sure. Why not?

Is that not too convenient?

MARTIN: Not if you
hang a lantern on it.

What's that?
It's a writer's term.

Another character points out
how convenient it is.

Dr. Levant can say, "Well,
that was great timing."

That way the audience knows

I intended for it
to be convenient,

and we move on.

Really.

Okay, where were we?

Scene 24.

Oh, great,
one of my favorite scenes.

Go ahead.

(VALA CLEARS THROAT)

Um, "Interior Bridge.

VALA: "The crew
mans their stations.”

I'm picking up a strange
energy anomaly, Colonel.

It appears the singularity
is about to explode.

Weapons are at maximum.

Damn it, Captain! Solar flare.

We've got a shockwave
heading straight for us.

Can you reverse the polarity?

I'll do my best.

Engine room. Warp speed!

MITCHELL;:
Take us out of here now.

I'm giving it all
I've got, Captain,

but you're expecting
a bloody miracle.

JACKSON: Hang on,
hang on, hang on. What?

Okay, one, that's Star Trek.

And two, it's ridiculous.

What's wrong with it?

The singularity is
about to explode?

Yes.

Everything about
that statement is wrong.

How exactly is having weapons at
maximum going to help the situation?

The audience isn't going
to know the difference.

They love weapons at maximum.

Never underestimate
your audience.

They're generally sensitive,
intelligent people

who respond positively
to quality entertainment.

TEAL'C: I do not understand
why everything in this script

must inevitably explode.

MARTIN: Look,
you guys may all know

how things really work
out there in the galaxy,

but I know the film business.

Explosions make great trailers.

Simple fact.

More explosions, better trailer.

Better trailer, more viewers.

(MUSICAL CELL PHONE RINGING)

Yeah, go for Marty.
Oh, hey, Nora.

What? That's ridiculous.

Tell them to stop panicking.

We're going to sign him.
Don't worry.

I already put in a call
to his manager.

We'll get back to you.
Yeah. Bye.

So, trouble with Nora?

MARTIN: No. Nora, she's great.

But since Nick Marlowe
is holding out,

one of the new junior
executives at the network

has suggested we re-cast
the whole movie with younger,

edgier versions of the team.

Can you imagine that?

Yo, dawg,
what did you do that for?

Dude, that hot chick
was so totally a Goa'uld!

Duh, I was still gonna tap that.

You don't appreciate me, do you?

I think you're
so totally awesome.

That's what I'm talking about.

Yo, Wonderbread,

you got that address
figured out yet?

Chill, T. I'm, like,
translating as fast as I can.

I'm so sick of being treated like
some sort of object to be worshiped.

I'm a real person
with real feelings.

You know, I don't think
Mitchell likes me anymore.

I'm pregnant.

Uh-huh. No.

Nope.

I need a latte.

How about this one? We
were in a cloaked cargo ship

on a simple, three-hour
reconnaissance mission...

Gilligan's Island, right?

You got that from "Three-hour
reconnaissance mission?"

Piece of advice.

If you're going to
rip something off,

think of something
a little more obscure.

Oh, okay.

Call me fahrbot,

but they're gonna have our
mivonks on a platter we don't

starburst the draz out of here.

The cluster's been damaged.
We're not going anywhere.

Oh, dren.

Hezmana!

(GROANS)

Frell!

Son of a hasmot!

Yotz!

Okay, you got me.

I have no idea what that is.

(MUSICAL CELL PHONE RINGING)

Oh, for crying
out loud, what now?

Oh, give me a break!

I just a got a text message
from the studio.

The foreign distributor
went bankrupt.

They're slashing my budget.

In a text message?

This totally screws up
the end of act three.

What happens
at the end of act three?

With these cuts, not much.

Act three just ends.

What's so bad about this?

Any idea
when we'll be able to go?

Sorry.

We're trying a full reset
of the system, sir.

Hey.

If you want this
to be more accurate,

why don't you just give him
your mission files?

They're classified. So?

Didn't you say that
no one on your planet

would believe this
was all real anyway?

Even still, do you know how
many mission files there are?

MITCHELL: 1,263.

Hopefully 64
by the end of the day.

Actually, it's 1,264 already.

No, it's 63. Pretty sure.

I've read all the files
recently.

Actually,
you haven't read 30185.

30185? What's that?

We can't tell you.

What do you mean
you can't tell me?

I have the highest security
clearance known to mankind.

What is 301857

We were sworn to secrecy.

Well, why even mention it to me

if you're not going
to tell me what it is?

Sorry.

Can you tell me?
Oh, yeah, we can tell you.

It has to do with the time that
the gate sent us back to 1969.

Well, that can't have
anything to do with me.

I wasn't born till a year later.

Actually, it was nine months
before he was born.

What?

You have to remember,
it was the '60s.

JACKSON: Come on,

you have to have known that Jack's
always taken an interest in your life.

Jack O'Neill?

Indeed.

CARTER: Do you remember
when you were chosen

for the 302 program

even though you didn't think
you should get in?

How about when you were
chosen for SG-1?

Wait, are you saying
that Jack O'Neill is...

My daddy?

All starting to make
sense now, isn't it?

Hmm.

Oh, I'm being punked, aren't I?

We honestly can't
tell you about 30185.

MARTIN: I can't believe it!

The whole cast heard Marlowe
is holding out for more money,

and now they're all joining in.

Where do they think
it comes from?

How am I supposed to do
a movie without any actors?

MITCHELL: Carter, correct me
if I'm wrong on this,

butts it not a fact of
parallel dimension physics

that each of us exists
somewhere in some universe

in whatever way, shape,
or form we can imagine?

Any way, shape,
or form we can imagine.

We've seen it for ourselves.

There you go.

Use your imagination.

All right, people.

We created this
multi-billion dollar facility

under Cheyenne Mountain

so that we can use this thing.

Anyone know how?

Uh, sir, we thought you knew.

I do know this,

we need to put together a team,

starting with
the most beautiful,

battle-ready
scientific genius I know,

Captain Doctor Samantha Carter.

Reporting for duty, sir.

What can you tell us, Captain?

Well, at first glance,
I suspect the device creates

a stable wormhole between
superconducting rings

that have been placed in fixed
positions elsewhere in the galaxy...

converts matter into energy
at the event horizon,

once the initial vortex
has subsided, of course.

And just because my sex
organs are on the inside

instead of the outside doesn't
mean that I can't handle...

Provided, of course,
that sufficient energy

has been channeled to the device

and that the correct
coordinates have been calculated.

Okay, get to it.

Next, we need
a bookworm adventurer

who can say "brains" and "guts"

in 27 languages.

Dr. Daniel Jackson.

Why have I been
brought here? This is not...

Ooh, what is that?

The reason you're here, Doctor.

This big ring was discovered
in the sands of Egypt, near Giza.

Then I was right.

The pyramids really
were landing sites

for interplanetary starships

that enslaved primitive human
populations by posing as their gods.

Well, we found
the ring in the sand.

These symbols,
they look familiar.

They're like constellations.
Don't you see? Here.

If each symbol represents
a specific point in space,

then six of them
would create a sort of box.

The intersection point
between those six points

would indicate a destination.

Maybe, just maybe, the
seventh marks the starting point.

Is there a monitor that shows
these symbols in detail?

Over here, Dr. Jackson.

Wait.

This one seems different.

You found the ring in Egypt.

The pyramid represents Earth.

This symbol has to be
the point of origin.

It was under our noses
the whole time.

I feel so stupid.

And now what this team needs
is a leader,

someone who'll laugh
in the face of his enemy,

even when it's inappropriate.

Colonel Jack O'Neill.

I thought I told you I retired.

Oh.

I thought you said
you were tired.

Well, as a matter of fact,
I am a little tired.

There's no time for that now.

You have a mission to lead.

Right!

Sergeant? Make it spin.

Spin?

Sir, it doesn't spin.

What?

It has to spin. It's round.

Spinning is so much cooler
than not spinning.

I'm the General.

I want it to spin. Now!

Yes, sir.

Hey, look at that.

HARRIMAN: Chevron one is lit up.

I wonder what we're going
to find on the other side.

Whatever it is,
I'll bet it's amazing.

Well, don't get too excited.
It's just a simple recon.

Aren't you the least bit
curious about what's out there?

Well, I'm just hoping we find
some new meat for the team,

preferably something bald,

mysterious, you know,
the warrior type,

with lots of, you know, muscles.

Sir, the odds against
any alien life forms

we encounter looking remotely
human are astronomical.

Yeah, well...

We'll see.

Chevron seven, also lit up.

Holy...

Colonel O'Neill, you have a go.

Godspeed.

Easy for him to say.

Okay.

We're all gonna do this
together on three, all right? Okay?

Okay.

One, two, three!

Dear God in heaven.

(SIGHS)

I feel so stupid.

(LAUGHING)

Yeah, that'll work.

A whole movie made with puppets.

Hey, I'm just saying...

MARTIN: Maybe we can
have puppet O'Neill

jump over a puppet shark on
a one-third scale motorcycle.

I don't get it.

Look, you don't know
he business like I do.

I don't have any money,

so I have to give
the actors something else.

Bigger trailers?

I can't afford that either.

No, I have to give them
something that costs me nothing

but no actor can refuse.

And what's that?

A good ego-stroking.

I have to make them think hat I
re-wrote the script just for them.

In this draft,
there has to be something

that makes them
want to do this movie

even if it's for scale.

You know,
we've been trying here.

You're not listening.

I'm talking about a twist,
something nobody's expecting.

O'NEILL: You mean
something like this?

Wow, I don't think
anyone will see that coming.

No, but there'll be spoilers.

Are you kidding?
It'll be in the commercial.

ANNOUNCER ON TV: When
it comes to fighting crime,

there's only one man
keeping the streets safe,

while keeping it real.

Indeed.

Teal'c, P.I. Coming this fall.

I love it.

I'm just not sure
if the network...

(STAMMERING) But I'll
pitch it to them next week

and we'll see what they think.

(MUSICAL CELL PHONE RINGING)

Oh, I have to get that.
We'll talk later.

You got Marty.

So what brings you
this way, sir?

What, a guy can't just stop
by from Malibu to say hi?

Malibu? Sure.

I was there on business.

Exactly, sir.
You're an Air Force General

with enormous responsibilities.

Ostensibly,
I just stopped by to see

how you were doing with Marty.

Well, truth be known that

lately I've been
feeling a little...

What? How do I say it?

It's okay to say
that you missed us, sir.

No, not that.

Like you have
unfinished business?

Okay.

You need closure,
and I have the perfect thing.

We were about to go on
a mission to commemorate

my 200th trip through the gate.

Really? 200, you say?

That's 200 times he's
stepped through the gate, sir,

not actual missions.

To be honest, I wouldn't
mind one last jaunt

through the old orifice.

What?

We call it that sometimes,
don't we?

Orifice?

Stupid focus groups.

They hate the ending.

I have to think
of something new.

They could go fishing.

Fishing?

Yeah, it'd be a perfect ending.

I mean, after that, anything
else would seem pointless.

CARTER: This is great.

I told you.

Yup, it's good to be here.

You weren't there.

So, what's the twist? No fish?

No, I need something with
more impact, something more...

Moving.

Everyone loves a wedding.

(ORGAN PLAYING)

(SNIFFLING)

It's just a summer cold, sir.

A bit of a wait.

Indeed.

(CLEARS THROAT)

You know, if she doesn't show,

people are gonna think
that you and I are...

What?

(ALL APPLAUDING)

Nice entrance.

Sorry, sir.

Carter.

Jack.

Thank you.

KVASIR: Shall we begin?

Yeah, right, if I want to torture
the audience on purpose.

The gate is back up
and running. General.

General.

With permission?

But I still don't
have my ending.

You keep these kids
out of trouble, Jack.

Here's an idea, Hank.

Why don't you
come along with us?

No, it's all right.

No, seriously. I don't know.

Yeah, come on.

It'll be kind of like
a special occasion deal.

Well, what the hell.
Yeah, that's it.

Hey, Walter!
Come on, we're all going.

I don't have the right outfit.

You look fine!

Everything ready?

SGs 3 through 18
are waiting, sir.

The cake?

It's all set.

Balloons, streamers, the works.

All right, let's go check out
the mysteries of P2C-106.

Hey, Marty.

Why don't you come with us?

Maybe find a little inspiration
for the end of your little movie.

MARTIN: I can't.

I just heard from the studio.
The movie's been canceled.

Oh, there's some heartbreak.

Oh, that's too bad.

Not for me.

They decided to renew
the series instead!

Okay.

Let's move out.

DIRECTOR: And, cut!

(BELL RINGING)

Good job, Doug.
Here, here, here.

Ocean. Thanks.

Well, that wasn't so bad.

DIRECTOR:
And that's a cut, everybody.

That is a wrap on
the 200th episode!

(ALL CHEERING)

Nice job, everybody.

So, did you ever think a show
like this would go on for 200?

Well, sure.

What do you mean,
"A show like this"?

(MUSICAL CELL PHONE RINGING)

Martin Lloyd. Yeah.

Are you kidding?

Hey, everybody. Guess what?

The movie's back on!

(ALL CHEERING)

Wow. Ten seasons,
seven Saturn Awards

for Best Cable or Syndication
Science Fiction Show.

Who would have guessed?

Um, I think, first and
foremost, it has to do,

you know, with the writing.

I mean, obviously we don't
take ourselves too seriously.

Oh, the writers are really
great guys, all of them.

Men, you know.

Yeah,
it's a bit of a boys' club.

The real challenge was coming
up with a good catch phrase.

"It's what I do."

"It's what I do."

That was so, you know, good.

It defined Colonel Danning.

I just don't think they know what
they want to do with my character.

I probably should have
taken up golf a long time ago.

Just... Just kidding.

And I needed something
even better to make

you forget about the guy
that fans loved to watch

for the first seven years
of the show.

I know he was here for eight,

but, you know,
a lot of people say

he just kind of phoned
it in that last season.

Yeah, well,
that's ancient history.

We don't talk
about that around here.

The fact of the matter is,

I don't really even know
what happened there.

You know, to me, it never
felt like I was leaving the show.

I just needed a little space,
a little time, you know?

I wanted to get back to
my roots. Theater, right?

So I go to New York, do a
little Broadway, off-off-Broadway.

Either way, it doesn't matter.

Acting, you know? Acting
without having people hurling

papier-mache boulders
at you all (BLEEP) day.

It was great, you know?

I like them both. I like
boulders. I'm fine with that.

This production runs
like a well-oiled machine,

and, sure, that starts
from the top, but, I mean,

we all love the show.

The gaffers,
the lighting guy, the medic,

the makeup and the caterers.

It's like a family.

The writers were trying to
come up with a catch phrase.

"I can get behind that," was
something we tried for a while.

Anyway, I mean, I'd actually
like to do some writing.

Maybe have a baby.

(EXCLAIMS)

It just hit me.

Sweet...

(BLEEPING)

And we can get away with
that, too, because it's cable.

You can't get there without the
fans, right? I have to thank them.

I've got to thank
specifically the ones...

Oh, God, what's it called?

SaveDrLevant.com.

Have you seen the site?
I mean, it's insane.

Apparently they get dozens
of hits a month, whatever.

I think that's a lot.

But between them
and the ad in Variety

that they put out,
I'm pretty sure

that went a long way
towards convincing

the producers to take me back.

Have me... To invite me back.

It wasn't their decision,
you know.

They called, said,
"Hey, do you want it?"

You know, and I was ready.

What I think really makes
this show what it is,

is the chemistry with the cast.

(MUSICAL CELL PHONE RINGING)

Yeah. Oh, could you hold on?

Stop the tape.

Who does he think he is?

Well, you tell that ungrateful little
(BLEEP) bag to shove it up his (BLEEP)

Yeah, yeah, let him try to
get a job that pays this much.

You weren't rolling, were...
Okay.

Um, what... What was I saying?

Oh, yes, the cast.

Holy...

(BLEEPING)

That would be, like, a 19.

That's it?
You're good? All right.

Can I get my (BLEEP) sandwich,
please?

All right. Hey, thanks, man.

Science fiction is
an existential metaphor

that allows us to tell stories
about the human condition.

Isaac Asimov once said,

"Individual science fiction
stories may seem

"as trivial as ever to the blinder
critics and philosophers of today,

"but the core of
science fiction,

"its essence, has become crucial

"to our salvation, if we
are to be saved at all."