All language subtitles for Spider-Man - S01E14 - Screwball Live (1080p x265 EDGE2020).eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,660 --> 00:00:04,330 Sometimes my highly tuned Spider-Sense tells me there's trouble. 2 00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:06,330 And sometimes I just hear a really loud alarm. 3 00:00:06,410 --> 00:00:09,080 [ALARM BLARING] 4 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,540 Don't worry, folks. Gonna check on that pesky noise 5 00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,870 so you can get back to your fancy ribbon-cutting ceremony. 6 00:00:15,870 --> 00:00:19,500 Whoa. That's a seriously big hole. Okay, Spidey. 7 00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:21,040 [WEB-SHOOTER DISCHARGING] 8 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,870 Looks like you're about to take on a whole army of... 9 00:00:23,950 --> 00:00:26,000 one bald guy? 10 00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:27,620 [ALARM STOPS] 11 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:32,330 -You do all this damage yourself, shiny? -Yeah. Pretty impressive, huh? 12 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,580 SPIDER-MAN: It doesn't add up. 13 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:37,750 You're a big guy, but that wall looks like it was hit by a wrecking ball. 14 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:41,660 Whoa! And there it is. Man, can I call them or what? 15 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:46,750 -I should have my own detective show. -People call me the Absorbing Man. 16 00:00:46,830 --> 00:00:51,790 -Because you have paper towel powers? -Because I can absorb anything. 17 00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:55,120 [GRUNTS] 18 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,160 SPIDER-MAN: Right. Just like paper towels can. 19 00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:59,040 You sure you don't wanna go with "Paper Towel Man"? 20 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,200 [GROANS] 21 00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:02,450 I promise you no other bad guys are using that name. 22 00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:12,250 Insult me all you want. I have thick skin. 23 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,330 Or, better yet... 24 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,410 sharp skin. 25 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:18,870 Uh-oh. 26 00:01:18,950 --> 00:01:20,200 [CHAIN CLATTERING] 27 00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:21,580 [GRUNTS] 28 00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:24,910 [GRUNTS THEN GROANS] 29 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:30,000 Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard face! 30 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,370 [BOTH GRUNT] 31 00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:48,620 So, you become what you touch, huh? 32 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:51,750 [CAR ALARM BLARING] 33 00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:53,660 [CAR ALARM HONKING] 34 00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:56,750 [GRUNTS] 35 00:01:57,620 --> 00:02:00,200 [GRUNTS THEN YELLS] 36 00:02:00,290 --> 00:02:02,410 Let's see what happens when you can't touch anything. 37 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:07,200 Hmm. Now, what do we have here? Your vacation photos? 38 00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:09,540 Hey, gang! Screwball here! 39 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,200 -Screwball? SCREWBALL: With another fun fact. 40 00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:16,370 It's hard for a CEO to cut the ribbon on his polluting power plant headquarters 41 00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:18,620 if he doesn't have the ribbon! 42 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,330 Let this be a lesson to all you corporate shills. 43 00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:23,200 You never know when you'll be surprised by... 44 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,120 [GRUNTS] 45 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,870 Spider-Man? 46 00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:29,080 ABSORBING MAN: Mmm. Metal. SCREWBALL: No. 47 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:32,790 [SCREWBALL GRUNTS THEN SCREAMS] 48 00:02:33,450 --> 00:02:35,200 SPIDER-MAN: You might want to look both ways next time. 49 00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:38,290 And you might not wanna stand there this time. 50 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,160 Sorry, Spider-Man. 51 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,540 I expected those business goons to chase me. 52 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,700 [GRUNTS] 53 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,410 [LAUGHS] 54 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,620 -Great. SCREWBALL: Smile, Spider-Man. 55 00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,160 You've been screwballed. 56 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:51,750 [LAUGHS] 57 00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:55,250 Pete, you have got to watch the new Screwball video. 58 00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:57,830 Not right now, Harry. I'm working on something. 59 00:02:58,830 --> 00:02:59,830 [CLICK] 60 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,790 Pretty heavy security for vacation photos. 61 00:03:04,790 --> 00:03:07,910 Check it out. She totally messes with Spider-Man. 62 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,410 -It's hilarious. -Is it? 63 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,080 Because thanks to this Screwball character, 64 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,500 Spider-Man lost a bad guy. 65 00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:17,500 Oh, please! Spider-Man needs to be taken down a peg. 66 00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:21,790 -This Screwball's my new hero. -She's not a hero, Harry. 67 00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:24,040 Heroes have power and responsibility. 68 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,410 Screwball doesn't have either. 69 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,290 Oh, she has power, all right. 70 00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:29,660 The power of the Internet. 71 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:31,330 This video's only been up a few hours, 72 00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:34,290 and it already has hundreds of thousands of views. 73 00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:36,080 Views aren't power. 74 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,450 They're not? Look around. 75 00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:40,500 ON CELLPHONE: You've been Screwballed! -Must be a slow news day. 76 00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:41,620 Come on! 77 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:43,000 LIZ: What's so funny? 78 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,080 Oh, hey, Liz. 79 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,660 Just watching Screwball's latest post. Have you seen it? 80 00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:50,160 Uh, no, not yet. What are people saying? Do they like it? 81 00:03:50,580 --> 00:03:53,950 Oh, yeah. It's by far her best. It has Spider-Man in it. 82 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,160 And that's the only reason people care about it. 83 00:03:56,250 --> 00:04:00,040 People care because Screwball takes on corruption with cool pranks, 84 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,580 -not because it has Spider-Man in it. HARRY: Really? 85 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:07,410 Then why does this video have four times as many views as all her others? 86 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,910 It does? 87 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:13,410 Well, if involving Spider-Man brings more attention to my causes... 88 00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:17,620 then Spider-Man is exactly what my viewers are gonna get. 89 00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:19,700 [BEEPS] 90 00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:23,870 Hey, guys. Welcome to Screwball's brand-new Spidey segment. 91 00:04:23,950 --> 00:04:27,160 At least once a week, I'll be making a video about Spider-Man. 92 00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,370 So sound off in the comments, 93 00:04:28,450 --> 00:04:30,830 and let me know what you think of the old webhead. 94 00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:32,950 SCREWBALL [ON CELLPHONE]: You've been Screwballed! 95 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,750 HAMMERHEAD: Agh! 96 00:04:34,830 --> 00:04:37,120 -Where is it? -Where's what? 97 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,870 I told you to grab everything in the safe. 98 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:41,790 And I did. 99 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,870 I don't care about diamonds. I wanted the flash drive! 100 00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:49,040 Oh, that. Spider-Man got it. 101 00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:51,450 You imbecile. 102 00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:53,330 That store is a front for The Owl, 103 00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:57,250 who was blackmailing me with the information on that drive! 104 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,830 Why didn't you tell me all this? 105 00:04:59,910 --> 00:05:04,330 Because I wanted to keep it simple enough to absorb through your thick skull! 106 00:05:04,410 --> 00:05:08,040 The only reason I hired you was so he wouldn't trace it to me! 107 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,950 And stop eating my chips! 108 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,450 I'm not! 109 00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:15,250 Aah! Busted. 110 00:05:15,950 --> 00:05:19,160 That drive has enough dirt on it to put me away forever, 111 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:21,790 and now Spider-Man has it. 112 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:22,870 You get it back, 113 00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:25,750 and keep my name out of it, or so help me-- 114 00:05:25,830 --> 00:05:26,870 [GROANS] 115 00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,620 there won't be enough of you left to scoop up salsa! 116 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,830 That's not funny. 117 00:05:35,950 --> 00:05:38,620 Spider-Man should leave the crime-fighting to the police... 118 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:39,870 [LAUGHTER] 119 00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:42,290 but keep being part of those hilarious videos. 120 00:05:43,290 --> 00:05:46,660 Leave Spider-Man alone. Spider-Man rules! 121 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:49,370 Which is also the name of my Spider-Man fan page. 122 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,250 Spider-Man's a menace. 123 00:05:52,330 --> 00:05:53,790 I had to look that word up. 124 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:56,120 But once I did, I agreed. 125 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,620 A menace! 126 00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,660 -What are you doing? -Gotta go. 127 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:02,750 -Hey, Liz. -Hey, Randy. 128 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:06,000 Can we move our study group to-- Oh, come on! 129 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,910 Don't tell me you're a Screwball fan too. 130 00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:10,580 Why wouldn't I be? She's great. 131 00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:13,290 She's everything that's wrong with the Internet. 132 00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:16,910 If she really wanted to make a difference, she'd do something legitimate. 133 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,370 Like your boring blog? Exactly! 134 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:20,410 I mean... 135 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,120 It's not boring. 136 00:06:22,830 --> 00:06:25,370 In fact, you know that power company she pranked last week? 137 00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:28,160 It was one of a dozen businesses bought up on the same day 138 00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:30,040 by the same anonymous corporation. 139 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,410 I haven't cracked who it is yet, but my gut tells me the Mob's behind it. 140 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:36,200 They have-- You know what? I'll just send you my story. 141 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,750 -It's only 35 pages. -I'm good, thanks. 142 00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:41,160 I just think you're jealous because Screwball gets a ton of hits, 143 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:43,660 and your blog only has three. 144 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:47,200 So what? Screwball's numbers are down too. 145 00:06:47,870 --> 00:06:50,040 Without new footage of Spider-Man, she's nothing. 146 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:54,040 Hey, finding Spider-Man is hard. Probably. 147 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,200 Oh, I have to go. 148 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,000 My dad's speaking at the groundbreaking ceremony 149 00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,870 for the city's new media building today. 150 00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:01,910 Now, he's a real journalist. 151 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,200 In fact, every major news outlet's gonna be there, 152 00:07:05,290 --> 00:07:09,290 including my blog, thank you very much. 153 00:07:09,370 --> 00:07:11,620 Every major outlet, huh? 154 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:16,500 [POLICE SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE] 155 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,910 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 156 00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:26,500 Thanks for coming out to support my dad, guys. 157 00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:28,790 I didn't even know you knew about this event. 158 00:07:28,870 --> 00:07:31,750 Oh, this? Of course we did. 159 00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:33,290 Yeah and it has nothing to do with the fact 160 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,000 that we were across the street having lunch. 161 00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:37,200 Don't let him fool you, Randy. 162 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,580 It's just nice to do something 163 00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:40,950 that doesn't involve our competing schools for a change. 164 00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:45,450 Well, technically, my dad is lending them an Oscorp worker bot. 165 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,120 PETER: I should've known. 166 00:07:48,540 --> 00:07:51,950 Well, maybe you can use a Horizon High pen to write the story. 167 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,200 [LAUGHTER] 168 00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:54,620 ROBBIE ROBERTSON: Thank you, everyone. 169 00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:58,040 Before we break ground, I'd like to say a few words, 170 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,580 and though my editor won't believe me, 171 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:02,330 I promise it'll only be a few. 172 00:08:02,410 --> 00:08:03,410 [LAUGHTER] 173 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:07,080 People always ask if I have any advice for the next generation. 174 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,450 If I do, it's this: 175 00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:11,870 value your story. 176 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:15,330 Nowadays, anyone anywhere can have an audience of millions. 177 00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:20,620 But being seen by those people isn't the same as reaching them. 178 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,700 A real writer doesn't care about getting likes, 179 00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:25,660 they care about making a difference, 180 00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:28,870 whether it's for 100,000 people or just one. 181 00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:30,080 [PEOPLE CHEERING] 182 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,160 And now, let's put this big guy to work 183 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,450 and break some ground on this new building. 184 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,040 What's it doing? 185 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,370 [GRUNTS] 186 00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:41,620 I'm okay, son. 187 00:08:43,910 --> 00:08:45,870 You've just been Screwballed! 188 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,330 CROWD: It's Screwball! -This is awful. 189 00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:51,160 She could've hurt my dad! 190 00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,000 Don't worry, Randy. Her pranks look worse than they are. 191 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,330 Right, Pete? 192 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,370 Um... Pete? 193 00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:58,500 [SIGHS] 194 00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,830 Typical Parker. 195 00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:04,540 You took over the worker bot? Not cool, Screwball. 196 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:07,950 Are you kidding? I'm just getting started. 197 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,620 [HUMMING] 198 00:09:12,410 --> 00:09:14,120 -Whoa! Whoa! SPIDER-MAN: Screwball! 199 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,410 No! 200 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,290 [SCREAMING] 201 00:09:18,370 --> 00:09:19,830 Hold on! 202 00:09:19,910 --> 00:09:21,160 [GRUNTS] 203 00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:23,000 Thanks for the save, Spider-Man. 204 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,080 SPIDER-MAN: What in-- A billboard? 205 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,750 [CROWD GASPS] 206 00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:30,500 You're gonna answer for that one. 207 00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:32,000 A bungee cord? 208 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,290 [GRUNTS] 209 00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:35,620 [GROANING IN DISGUST] 210 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,620 And cut! 211 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:39,370 Nice work, Spidey. 212 00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:40,870 I was hoping for the banner plug, 213 00:09:40,950 --> 00:09:42,870 but the quick-drying cement was an added bonus. 214 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,750 [GRUNTING] 215 00:09:44,830 --> 00:09:46,540 And what if someone out there needed my help 216 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,330 while I was preoccupied here with you? 217 00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:52,080 Relax, Spidey. This city is full of heroes. 218 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,160 I can't help it if my viewers wanna see us together. 219 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,500 [GRUNTING] 220 00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:59,250 WOMAN 1: Me, me. Spider-man. WOMAN 2: Spidey! Over here! 221 00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:00,580 MAN: Give us a smile. Nice! 222 00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:02,160 SCREWBALL [ON LAPTOP] : You've been Screwballed! 223 00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:04,660 [LAUGHING] 224 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,580 Are you seriously still watching stupid Internet videos? 225 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:15,000 You're supposed to be getting my drive back from Spider-Man! 226 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,540 I tried. 227 00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:19,580 I broke into another jewelry store to draw him out, 228 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,580 but that Avenger Hawkeye showed up instead. 229 00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:27,120 I don't want excuses! I want you to find Spider-Man. 230 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,370 Your little Internet friend here 231 00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:30,370 doesn't seem to have any trouble finding him. 232 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,580 Maybe they're partners, like us. 233 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,540 We are not partners. 234 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:40,120 -Although, that's not a bad idea. -Really? 235 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:44,620 -Because I can move my stuff in tomorrow. -I'm talking about the girl. 236 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:48,870 We get the girl, we get Spider-Man. 237 00:10:49,540 --> 00:10:51,410 Uh... How do we find him? 238 00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:56,830 Look, there's always something. Always something they forget. 239 00:10:56,910 --> 00:11:00,160 "Midtown High School." There! 240 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:02,160 Now get on it! 241 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,700 You've just been Screwballed! 242 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,120 [CROWD LAUGHING AND CHATTERING] 243 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,250 Not a Screwball fan either, huh? 244 00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:12,500 -I thought I was the only one. -No way. 245 00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:16,160 The Internet is the most powerful technology in human history, 246 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,370 and we use it for prank videos. 247 00:11:18,450 --> 00:11:19,500 Such a waste. 248 00:11:20,790 --> 00:11:24,080 -Hey, is that a school project? -What? No. 249 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,750 -I mean, yes. -An asymmetric encryption key? 250 00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:30,450 Mind if I take a look? 251 00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:33,200 Whoa. 252 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,790 You don't see a lot of these. 253 00:11:35,870 --> 00:11:38,580 You know what this is? Can you crack it? 254 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,660 Are you kidding? This kind of problem solving is my favorite. 255 00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:44,660 Here. I'll show you what you're missing. 256 00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:46,040 [KEYBOARD CLACKING] 257 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,450 I think what I was missing was you. 258 00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,450 BOY: Aw. Flash, you're out. 259 00:11:57,540 --> 00:11:59,410 Bring me Screwball! 260 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,080 [STUDENTS GASPING AND MURMURING] 261 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,450 BOY: Hey, get out of here! 262 00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,120 You're out! Get lost, freak! 263 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000 Now! 264 00:12:09,370 --> 00:12:11,080 [CLAMORING] 265 00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:15,660 Hey! No one's going anywhere! 266 00:12:17,410 --> 00:12:18,750 [ABSORBING MAN GRUNTS] [RANDY YELLS] 267 00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:22,160 Hey, one of you twerps knows where she is. 268 00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,910 So tell me. 269 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000 [RANDY GRUNTING] 270 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,250 Oh, no! 271 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,540 [EXHALES] 272 00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:29,450 Guess this isn't just about me anymore. 273 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:32,000 But maybe I can do something from here. 274 00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:35,660 Spider-Man, this is Screwball. 275 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,250 Got it! I broke the encryption. 276 00:12:38,330 --> 00:12:39,910 And we have 277 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:44,660 a bunch of files with scrambled titles, all connected to... 278 00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:45,830 Hammerhead? 279 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,750 Isn't he a gangster? 280 00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:50,120 He is. 281 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,250 But what do those scrambled titles mean? 282 00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:55,410 I don't know, but there are a dozen of these files. 283 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,910 [PHONE VIBRATES] 284 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,080 Anya says we need to check out the new Screwball video. 285 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,250 She knows I'm not a fan, so this should be interesting. 286 00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:08,450 Spider-Man, this is Screwball. 287 00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:10,580 I need you to come to Midtown High right away. 288 00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:12,000 I'm in trouble. 289 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,080 I hope Spider-Man is watching this. 290 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:18,290 It's probably just another prank. That girl will do anything for attention. 291 00:13:19,290 --> 00:13:21,910 I'm getting impatient. 292 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,500 Hi. Randy Robertson, freelance journalist. 293 00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:29,330 What do you want with Screwball exactly? 294 00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:30,950 Stop stalling! 295 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:34,120 If Screwball doesn't show herself in 10 seconds, 296 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,620 this guy's gonna be toast. 297 00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:38,290 -Come on, Spidey. Where are you? ABSORBING MAN: Ten. 298 00:13:38,410 --> 00:13:40,660 -Nine. Eight. -Is it possible he's not coming? 299 00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:44,370 -Did I prank him one too many times? -Seven. Six. 300 00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:45,450 [SIGHS] 301 00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:47,750 -Five. Four. -Okay. I don't need Spider-Man. 302 00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:48,950 -I'm Screwball. -Three. 303 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,790 -I'm just as good as him, right? -Two. 304 00:13:50,870 --> 00:13:53,000 -Better, even. -One. 305 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,580 SCREWBALL: Let him go! 306 00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:58,830 You're about to be Screwballed! 307 00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:00,830 [RANDY GROANS] 308 00:14:00,910 --> 00:14:02,660 [BOTH GRUNTING] 309 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,540 [LAUGHING] 310 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:05,910 -Huh? -Did you really think 311 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,080 you were a superhero? 312 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,370 And did you really think you could pull off that tank top? 313 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,830 Spider-Man! You came! 314 00:14:14,910 --> 00:14:17,200 I was worried you thought my video was a prank. 315 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,700 To be honest, I was wondering if it might be. 316 00:14:19,790 --> 00:14:22,080 But that's the thing about being a hero. 317 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,700 You don't get to wonder. 318 00:14:23,790 --> 00:14:28,040 Webs! I don't know why I didn't do this earlier. 319 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,160 [GROANS] 320 00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:33,120 Smothered by webs? 321 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,700 Is this irony? Feels like irony. 322 00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:38,830 Also feels like a good time to use my web dissolvent. 323 00:14:39,950 --> 00:14:41,410 [SCREAMING] 324 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:45,160 -That wasn't nice! -Nice? 325 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,750 Now you're worried about being nice? 326 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,080 [GRUNTS] 327 00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,660 [ALL GRUNTING] 328 00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:57,910 Just give me the flash drive, and I'll let them go! 329 00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:01,200 The flash drive? That's what this is about? 330 00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:04,410 I don't have it on me. Do you see pockets? 331 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,200 Fine, then. 332 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,500 Meet me at the new media building construction site. 333 00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:15,000 Be there in an hour, or you'll find a couple of concrete teens 334 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,950 waiting for you. 335 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,370 Get to safety! 336 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:25,700 Just a sec. This is gonna get so many likes. 337 00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:26,870 [CHUCKLES] 338 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,160 This is all my fault. 339 00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:33,910 Now, there's a news flash. 340 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:38,370 But you did put your life on the line to save a total stranger. 341 00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:40,160 You're not a stranger, Randy. 342 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,700 You're my friend. 343 00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:46,200 Liz? But why? 344 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:47,330 [SIGHS] 345 00:15:47,410 --> 00:15:48,660 I don't know. 346 00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:51,160 I used to feel so special. 347 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:55,620 I was a straight-A student, the class president of Midtown High. 348 00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:58,790 But then came genius schools like Horizon High and Oz Academy, 349 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:02,040 and those things didn't seem to be enough anymore. 350 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,290 So I became Screwball. 351 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,120 Thought I could be a hero to the community. 352 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,620 I guess I lost sight of that when I started focusing on Spider-Man. 353 00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:14,290 I felt powerful because I had the attention. 354 00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:16,410 But I guess it takes a different kind of power 355 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,870 to be a real hero. 356 00:16:17,950 --> 00:16:21,330 Well, saving my life was no small thing. 357 00:16:21,410 --> 00:16:22,950 Thanks. 358 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,040 Get out! 359 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,000 Dangling over a cement mixer? 360 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,040 Oh, that's the last time I let you watch the kids. 361 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,620 Spider-Man, you made it. 362 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:45,080 Hand over the drive, and nobody gets hurt. 363 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:50,160 Sure. Should I give it to you, or directly to your boss, Hammerhead? 364 00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:53,160 Oh-ho, congratulations. 365 00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:56,750 You figured out the dumb brute's actually working for me. 366 00:16:56,830 --> 00:16:58,790 -You want a medal? -No. 367 00:16:58,870 --> 00:17:01,200 Although there's probably enough metal in your head 368 00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:03,410 to give me the gold, silver, and bronze. 369 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:08,540 Just deliver the goods, and we'll let the kids go. 370 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:10,200 Sure thing. 371 00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:13,250 Now let them go. 372 00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:16,540 Oh, that's exactly what I plan on doing. 373 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:17,620 Drop them! 374 00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:20,290 [SPIDER-MAN GRUNTS] [SCREWBALL & RANDY SCREAMING] 375 00:17:20,370 --> 00:17:22,620 I knew a thug like you couldn't be trusted. 376 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:25,200 But I thought I'd give you a chance before I went to the police 377 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:27,370 with the list of businesses you're using to launder money. 378 00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:29,410 What? Well, how did you-- 379 00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:34,580 -Easy. Just used the old noggin. -Extinguish that bug! 380 00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:36,200 [ALL GRUNTING] 381 00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:40,540 Oops. 382 00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:45,200 Can't I have just one person that does what I need them to do? 383 00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:47,330 I'll take care of this myself. 384 00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:49,160 [GRUNTS] 385 00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:53,160 [GROANS] 386 00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:57,500 SPIDER-MAN: See how easily you're replaced, Absorbing Man? 387 00:17:57,580 --> 00:18:00,500 Clearly, your boss likes them big, bad, and easy to control. 388 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,080 [GROWLS] 389 00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:06,290 Then he's gonna love this new power I have. 390 00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:08,790 Sometimes I don't know why I open my mouth. 391 00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:10,910 [LAUGHING] 392 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,250 Didn't know I could increase in size, did you? 393 00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:18,290 SCREWBALL: Hold still. I'll have us out of here in a second. 394 00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:22,500 You increased in size and strength, but sadly not in looks. 395 00:18:22,580 --> 00:18:23,870 [GRUNTS] 396 00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:25,620 [GRUNTING] 397 00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:26,790 [YELLS] 398 00:18:26,870 --> 00:18:28,250 No! 399 00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:33,290 Oh, no. I just got an idea. 400 00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:35,410 Yo, chrome dome! Over here! 401 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,580 [GRUNTS] 402 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,120 [ELECTRICITY ARCING] 403 00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:44,660 That's an impressive ability you have there. 404 00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,250 Not as impressive as absorbing knowledge, of course. 405 00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:49,250 [GRUNTS] 406 00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:52,790 I'd pick strength over smarts any day. 407 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,700 I figured. Otherwise you would've realized 408 00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:58,330 that the metal you just absorbed was lithium. 409 00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:00,330 Yeah? So what? 410 00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:04,160 So, lithium doesn't react well with certain compounds. 411 00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:07,290 -Like your face? -No. 412 00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:08,620 [GRUNTS] 413 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,080 Like water. 414 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,500 [SIZZLING] 415 00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:14,250 [SCREAMING] 416 00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,790 -Is he gone? -Sadly, I doubt it. 417 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,000 He'll probably pull himself together soon enough. 418 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,000 Still, that was amazing! 419 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,660 -You saved the day! -With your help. 420 00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:32,750 That drive didn't mean a thing until I remembered the story on your blog 421 00:19:32,830 --> 00:19:34,540 about the companies that were just bought up. 422 00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:35,750 You-- 423 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,450 You read my blog? 424 00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:40,660 Spider-Man is one of my three hits! 425 00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,370 [SPIDER-SENSE TINGLING] 426 00:19:42,450 --> 00:19:44,040 Spider-Sense. Whoa! 427 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,700 HAMMERHEAD: I'm gonna crush you like the insect you are! 428 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,750 [ROBOT POWER SHUTTING DOWN] 429 00:19:49,830 --> 00:19:52,330 What's wrong with this piece of junk? 430 00:19:52,410 --> 00:19:54,620 You've just been Screwballed! 431 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,540 What? You've gotta be-- Hey! 432 00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:00,950 I hate that kid! 433 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,540 You've just been Spider-Man-ned! 434 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:06,700 [GRUNTING] 435 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,540 Hope you got his swan dive on camera. 436 00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:11,370 Oh, I got it. Among other things. 437 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,410 SCREWBALL [ON MONITOR]: You've been screwballed. 438 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,000 [SCREWBALL CHUCKLES] 439 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,080 It's pretty funny. 440 00:20:19,290 --> 00:20:21,410 Depends on what side you're on. 441 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:24,120 Although today, I was glad you were on my side. 442 00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:26,950 But I also started this whole mess. 443 00:20:27,370 --> 00:20:29,290 Fixing your mistakes is part of being a hero. 444 00:20:29,950 --> 00:20:34,000 -A hero? Me? -After today? Absolutely. 445 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,290 [CHUCKLES] 446 00:20:35,410 --> 00:20:37,580 That's better than a million likes. 447 00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:41,330 Still, maybe it's time I went back to just being me. 448 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:43,700 [SIGHS] 449 00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:45,700 Liz Allan? 450 00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:49,290 -You know who I am? -Uh, of course. 451 00:20:49,370 --> 00:20:52,910 You're Midtown High's class president. Everybody knows that. 452 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,330 [POLICE SIREN WAILING] [BOTH GASP] 453 00:20:54,410 --> 00:20:58,200 And the perfect person to hand over Absorbing Man to the police. 454 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,080 Not to mention Hammerhead. 455 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:04,700 So, it turns out the biggest Spidey fail was that I failed Spidey. 456 00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:07,160 He was doing the kind of good I set out to do, 457 00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:09,660 but I got caught up in the popularity of it all. 458 00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:11,790 And I'm sorry about that. 459 00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:14,540 This is my last Screwball video for a while. 460 00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:16,660 In the meantime, for real news, 461 00:21:16,750 --> 00:21:19,870 Randy Robertson's blog has got you covered. 462 00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:21,540 So Spidey saved the day. 463 00:21:21,620 --> 00:21:23,750 I guess he really is a true hero, huh, Harry? 464 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,620 Oh, please! 465 00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:28,500 You can't believe everything you see on the Internet, Pete. 466 00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:30,950 [GROANS] 34619

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