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1
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I was sheriff of this
county when I was 25.
2
00:00:56,929 --> 00:01:00,454
Hard to believe.
3
00:01:00,498 --> 00:01:03,109
Grandfather was a sheriff. Father, too.
4
00:01:03,152 --> 00:01:04,980
Ranchers all.
5
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:08,114
Working the land through
times flush and fallow.
6
00:01:11,291 --> 00:01:14,686
There's a natural order to things.
7
00:01:14,729 --> 00:01:17,166
We know it in our bones.
8
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,778
Jesus was a man, not some bearded lady.
9
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And just as water flows downhill,
10
00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:24,609
a husband is head of his household.
11
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,655
Under him, the woman abides.
12
00:01:28,787 --> 00:01:30,484
She holds her virtue close
13
00:01:30,528 --> 00:01:33,705
until that matrimonial
threshold is crossed,
14
00:01:33,748 --> 00:01:35,228
and then she opens to him,
15
00:01:35,271 --> 00:01:37,535
as the flower opens to the sun.
16
00:01:37,578 --> 00:01:38,840
And in exchange,
17
00:01:38,884 --> 00:01:41,669
the man shelters and
protects his female,
18
00:01:41,713 --> 00:01:44,498
as the sword has its sheath.
19
00:01:44,542 --> 00:01:47,109
Okay, but what I'm saying is, you...
20
00:01:48,850 --> 00:01:52,201
No. He only raises his hand to her
21
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,160
when she forgets her
place and acts the man.
22
00:01:54,203 --> 00:01:57,772
And-and then only for instruction,
23
00:01:57,816 --> 00:02:01,733
never taking any pleasure or
satisfaction from the task.
24
00:02:01,776 --> 00:02:03,517
Whereas you, son,
25
00:02:03,561 --> 00:02:06,607
seem to have played
a Tommy Lee drum solo
26
00:02:06,651 --> 00:02:09,175
all over your missus's facade.
27
00:02:09,218 --> 00:02:11,917
- This... I fell is all.
- Hey, quiet now.
28
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,485
Sheriff's talking.
29
00:02:14,528 --> 00:02:17,879
Come here. Take comfort, dear.
30
00:02:17,923 --> 00:02:20,360
Daughter, these hard times are over.
31
00:02:20,404 --> 00:02:22,144
All right?
32
00:02:22,188 --> 00:02:24,016
I'll see to your husband's
instruction myself.
33
00:02:24,059 --> 00:02:25,365
What 'struction?
34
00:02:30,631 --> 00:02:32,503
Now, be honest.
35
00:02:32,546 --> 00:02:34,809
Do you ever question
your man's supremacy
36
00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:36,463
when he speaks?
37
00:02:36,507 --> 00:02:38,857
Just when he drinks or
with the crank, you know?
38
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,641
I try to stay out of the way, but...
39
00:02:41,686 --> 00:02:43,514
Don't hurt him.
40
00:02:43,557 --> 00:02:45,820
- We got three boys who need a daddy.
- Okay.
41
00:02:45,864 --> 00:02:48,432
Okay. Okay.
42
00:02:55,526 --> 00:02:58,050
Yeah.
43
00:02:58,093 --> 00:03:00,531
Thank you. You got any
of that huckleberry pie?
44
00:03:00,574 --> 00:03:03,229
- Sure.
- That's great.
45
00:03:05,536 --> 00:03:08,364
Lookit, dick cheese, I know you...
46
00:03:08,408 --> 00:03:09,801
Quiet.
47
00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:15,763
Go home. Fix a meal.
48
00:03:15,807 --> 00:03:17,722
Pray on it before you
take the first bite.
49
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:20,333
Forgiveness. Tend to his burns.
50
00:03:20,376 --> 00:03:22,378
Try to be deferential.
51
00:03:22,422 --> 00:03:24,946
Cater to his needs as
a man with your mouth
52
00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:26,687
in order to sow harmony.
53
00:03:26,731 --> 00:03:29,951
I'll come by in the morning,
see if the lesson stuck.
54
00:03:31,518 --> 00:03:33,346
Go on.
55
00:03:33,389 --> 00:03:34,608
Go.
56
00:03:46,925 --> 00:03:48,492
They missed her.
57
00:04:08,163 --> 00:04:10,209
What happened?
58
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:16,476
You send a man to do a job
without all the information,
59
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,958
how can the job be done?
60
00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:21,307
Yeah, what are you?
61
00:04:22,264 --> 00:04:24,353
The Riddler?
62
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:28,401
You say the woman is a woman, a...
63
00:04:28,444 --> 00:04:30,272
How do you... ?
64
00:04:30,316 --> 00:04:32,927
Housewife.
65
00:04:32,971 --> 00:04:38,977
Never do you mention she
is, for real, a tiger.
66
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:41,980
You're saying you
couldn't handle some girl?
67
00:04:42,023 --> 00:04:44,069
100 pounds soaking wet?
68
00:04:45,461 --> 00:04:46,985
Huh?
69
00:04:49,509 --> 00:04:53,078
It was on the wire this morning.
70
00:04:53,121 --> 00:04:56,603
This half-wit shot up a
filling station outside Beulah.
71
00:04:56,647 --> 00:04:58,474
Murdered the clerk.
72
00:04:58,518 --> 00:05:00,651
Killed a state trooper.
73
00:05:00,694 --> 00:05:02,130
Put a hole in the leg of another.
74
00:05:03,828 --> 00:05:05,960
And this retard's partner
with a cracked skull
75
00:05:06,004 --> 00:05:07,527
and his face half
burned off in the morgue.
76
00:05:07,571 --> 00:05:10,356
You say housewife, so I bring one guy.
77
00:05:10,399 --> 00:05:12,793
You say tiger...
78
00:05:12,837 --> 00:05:13,968
that's a different guy.
79
00:05:14,012 --> 00:05:16,405
Cost you three times.
80
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,104
Did they take her? The police?
81
00:05:19,147 --> 00:05:21,106
Fled on foot.
82
00:05:21,149 --> 00:05:23,499
Possibly home.
83
00:05:23,543 --> 00:05:25,240
Possibly to the wind.
84
00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,895
Could you find her?
85
00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:30,637
She could be found.
86
00:05:30,681 --> 00:05:33,597
Where people go, the thoughts they have,
87
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,164
these are known to me.
88
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:37,383
Instincts.
89
00:05:37,426 --> 00:05:39,733
Who flees, who fights.
90
00:05:39,777 --> 00:05:44,042
It's a question of price.
91
00:05:44,085 --> 00:05:47,480
The job it was, not the job you said.
92
00:05:47,523 --> 00:05:49,569
Pain and suffering.
93
00:05:49,613 --> 00:05:52,093
A man, missing an appendage,
94
00:05:52,137 --> 00:05:54,487
self-sewing his own skin.
95
00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:56,228
Scarred for life, he's told.
96
00:05:56,271 --> 00:05:59,753
And then this new ask.
97
00:05:59,797 --> 00:06:01,407
Hunting a tiger.
98
00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:04,366
And it forces the man to ask:
99
00:06:04,410 --> 00:06:07,152
why you want the tiger?
100
00:06:08,893 --> 00:06:10,590
She's my wife.
101
00:06:10,634 --> 00:06:11,896
Don't tell him shit.
102
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,332
I already said I can handle this.
103
00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:15,290
We know where she lives now. Her alias.
104
00:06:19,773 --> 00:06:22,602
She made vows to me.
105
00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:24,343
A pledge.
106
00:06:24,386 --> 00:06:27,520
In sickness and in health.
107
00:06:27,563 --> 00:06:31,002
Consider it a debt unpaid,
leaving me in limbo.
108
00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:33,657
Husband yes or husband no.
109
00:06:34,832 --> 00:06:37,356
See, she hid from me nine, ten years.
110
00:06:38,313 --> 00:06:41,752
Interest accrued.
111
00:06:41,795 --> 00:06:44,842
Until the debt could no
longer be paid with money.
112
00:06:48,759 --> 00:06:52,371
Then, one day, there she is,
fingerprints in the system.
113
00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,547
Now the limbo can end,
114
00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:57,506
the debt can be collected.
115
00:07:00,161 --> 00:07:01,728
Tell me something, friend.
116
00:07:03,861 --> 00:07:05,776
If a man is pure,
117
00:07:05,819 --> 00:07:08,561
his actions are only ever good.
118
00:07:09,518 --> 00:07:11,607
You believe that?
119
00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:16,221
I'm a nihilist.
120
00:07:16,264 --> 00:07:17,962
What the fuck does that mean?
121
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,311
I believe in nothing.
122
00:07:19,354 --> 00:07:20,660
You believe in money.
123
00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:24,229
Yeah?
124
00:07:30,278 --> 00:07:32,716
Well, thanks for your help.
125
00:07:33,934 --> 00:07:35,588
Go on with Gator. He'll get you paid.
126
00:07:35,631 --> 00:07:36,894
Dad.
127
00:07:36,937 --> 00:07:39,200
Original plus pain and suffering.
128
00:07:39,244 --> 00:07:41,115
Yeah, of course.
129
00:07:41,159 --> 00:07:43,509
Take it out of the rainy day fund.
130
00:07:43,552 --> 00:07:45,163
Fixing place.
131
00:07:45,206 --> 00:07:48,862
Fixing place. Right.
132
00:07:48,906 --> 00:07:50,864
Come on, numbnuts.
133
00:07:57,784 --> 00:08:02,049
A man is grateful.
134
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:20,459
I'm not saying sorry,
but you understand.
135
00:08:20,502 --> 00:08:22,200
I had to rough you up
a little back there.
136
00:08:22,243 --> 00:08:25,290
You coming up snake eyes and all.
137
00:08:28,554 --> 00:08:31,862
With her being such
a tiny bird, which...
138
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,170
You know...
139
00:08:37,519 --> 00:08:39,957
they used to be dinosaurs.
140
00:08:43,395 --> 00:08:45,789
Hundreds okay?
141
00:08:56,712 --> 00:08:58,062
Surprise, shitbird.
142
00:09:19,910 --> 00:09:22,782
- What's going on, Roy?
- Go on, get back to the house now.
143
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:52,503
Like we said, this is all
just a misunderstanding.
144
00:09:52,546 --> 00:09:54,026
Had a bad day is all.
145
00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:00,598
A bad day?
146
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:01,816
Yeah.
147
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,993
Left the house a mess.
148
00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:07,126
Last I checked, weren't a crime.
149
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,475
No, ma'am.
150
00:10:08,519 --> 00:10:10,564
I'm a recidivist on that count myself.
151
00:10:10,608 --> 00:10:11,870
Laundry especially.
152
00:10:11,913 --> 00:10:14,699
Oh, laundry.
153
00:10:14,742 --> 00:10:17,310
But what I'm concerned
about is the blood.
154
00:10:17,354 --> 00:10:19,356
Told you, I cut my
feet up on some glass.
155
00:10:19,399 --> 00:10:20,922
You did.
156
00:10:20,966 --> 00:10:23,795
And I see the wounds.
157
00:10:23,838 --> 00:10:25,101
But what I'm dealing with is the fact
158
00:10:25,144 --> 00:10:26,885
that the blood on your entry floor
159
00:10:26,928 --> 00:10:28,582
is different than the blood
type we have on record for you.
160
00:10:28,626 --> 00:10:29,975
Records?
161
00:10:30,019 --> 00:10:32,151
Those...
162
00:10:32,195 --> 00:10:35,285
You know, I heard a man went
into the hospital in St. Paul
163
00:10:35,328 --> 00:10:37,287
fer a kidney transplant,
164
00:10:37,330 --> 00:10:38,984
he ended up with someone else's brain.
165
00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:41,508
- No way.
- Yeah.
166
00:10:41,552 --> 00:10:42,727
Well, I'm not sure...
167
00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:45,208
That don't sound accurate.
168
00:10:45,251 --> 00:10:48,950
What I'm saying is,
hospitals make mistakes.
169
00:10:48,994 --> 00:10:51,866
Then there's the hair DNA from
the balaclava in your boudoir.
170
00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:53,694
Told you, I bought that secondhand.
171
00:10:57,872 --> 00:11:00,136
You know, it's my fault.
172
00:11:00,179 --> 00:11:03,704
You know, I came home,
front door was wide open, uh,
173
00:11:03,748 --> 00:11:06,142
all the... blood.
174
00:11:06,185 --> 00:11:09,362
Uh, I-I'm not ashamed to say I panicked.
175
00:11:09,406 --> 00:11:10,972
But, you know, Dot's home,
176
00:11:11,016 --> 00:11:12,844
and, uh, that's all that matters.
177
00:11:12,887 --> 00:11:15,151
So, uh, whatever the...
178
00:11:15,194 --> 00:11:17,979
You know, she's my
wife. And I believe her.
179
00:11:18,023 --> 00:11:21,679
So, if there's a form or
something I can sign to...
180
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:24,638
you know, drop the charges...
181
00:11:24,682 --> 00:11:26,553
That's not how this works.
182
00:11:30,253 --> 00:11:32,211
- I got to...
- Hmm?
183
00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:34,344
It's almost time for pickup.
184
00:11:34,387 --> 00:11:38,565
I told Scotty we could go
to DQ after school, so...
185
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,788
Well, okay, then.
186
00:11:43,831 --> 00:11:45,355
Thanks for your time.
187
00:11:45,398 --> 00:11:47,096
Mm-hmm.
188
00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,923
We're reviewing traffic
cameras in the neighborhood,
189
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:49,924
so if I have any more questions...
190
00:11:49,925 --> 00:11:51,361
No.
191
00:11:51,404 --> 00:11:53,450
She's...
192
00:11:53,493 --> 00:11:56,105
Wayne, she's not listening to me.
193
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,281
Uh, Danish Graves is our attorney,
194
00:11:58,324 --> 00:12:00,283
so if you need to contact us again,
195
00:12:00,326 --> 00:12:02,981
which you shouldn't, uh...
196
00:12:04,113 --> 00:12:05,853
Okay, then.
197
00:12:17,126 --> 00:12:19,650
So, it's a puzzler.
198
00:12:19,693 --> 00:12:21,217
Spoke to Wayne.
199
00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:23,044
Dot's back.
200
00:12:23,088 --> 00:12:24,611
She's what now?
201
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:26,657
Yeah, came home on her own.
202
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,615
A little bruised.
203
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,140
Bloody feet.
204
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,663
She escaped?
205
00:12:32,706 --> 00:12:33,838
Well, that's the conundrum.
206
00:12:33,881 --> 00:12:35,492
Says she wasn't taken.
207
00:12:35,535 --> 00:12:38,582
Says it was just a driving
around type scenario.
208
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,018
Getting her head straight.
209
00:12:40,061 --> 00:12:41,976
Bullshit.
210
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:44,718
You saw the police report.
211
00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:46,459
Something's fishy here.
212
00:12:46,503 --> 00:12:48,635
Agreed.
213
00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:50,333
I smell a rat.
214
00:12:50,376 --> 00:12:52,596
You think...
215
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,988
Well, what do you think?
216
00:12:54,032 --> 00:12:57,296
A play, maybe.
217
00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:59,994
Extortion, but she got cold feet.
218
00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:01,648
Kidnapped herself, you're thinking?
219
00:13:01,692 --> 00:13:04,956
I mean, what do we know
about this girl, really?
220
00:13:04,999 --> 00:13:07,480
Well, I did the background
check when they got engaged.
221
00:13:07,524 --> 00:13:09,352
Well, you said yourself, not much there.
222
00:13:09,395 --> 00:13:10,788
Pretty thin, for sure.
223
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,311
Just the birth certificate,
224
00:13:12,355 --> 00:13:14,095
a few school records,
previous addresses.
225
00:13:14,139 --> 00:13:16,228
Well, it's too good to
be true, now I'm thinking.
226
00:13:16,272 --> 00:13:18,099
So, what do we... ?
227
00:13:18,143 --> 00:13:21,755
Tell you what we don't want...
police digging their noses
228
00:13:21,799 --> 00:13:23,148
into other people's business.
229
00:13:23,192 --> 00:13:24,889
Asking questions that can't be answered.
230
00:13:24,932 --> 00:13:26,195
Then what?
231
00:13:27,631 --> 00:13:30,024
Possibly this thing goes federal.
232
00:13:30,068 --> 00:13:32,070
You know, wrong person
makes a phone call.
233
00:13:33,637 --> 00:13:34,986
You don't think Wayne's...
234
00:13:35,029 --> 00:13:37,467
Who knows what to think?
235
00:13:37,510 --> 00:13:39,556
He's got the dealership,
236
00:13:39,599 --> 00:13:42,428
a decent roof over their head,
237
00:13:42,472 --> 00:13:47,477
but maybe she's pushing him for more.
238
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,088
Putting ideas in his head.
239
00:13:50,131 --> 00:13:52,743
Eh... I don't know.
240
00:13:52,786 --> 00:13:56,007
So we separate 'em, like the cops.
241
00:13:56,050 --> 00:13:58,705
You brace him. I go at her.
242
00:13:58,749 --> 00:14:00,794
Get to the bottom of things.
243
00:14:00,838 --> 00:14:02,318
If this deal's for real
244
00:14:02,361 --> 00:14:05,016
and they got a notion
to take what's mine,
245
00:14:05,059 --> 00:14:07,366
we need to nip it in the bud.
246
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:08,976
Keep things in-house.
247
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,370
Ah, geez.
248
00:14:11,414 --> 00:14:13,981
Everything was going
along just fine, too.
249
00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:15,287
And now, what do you...
250
00:14:15,331 --> 00:14:19,117
This... enemy within situation.
251
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:23,252
She made promises. To me.
252
00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:24,905
My son.
253
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,604
To have and to hold.
254
00:14:27,647 --> 00:14:30,171
For richer and poorer.
255
00:14:31,390 --> 00:14:33,740
And that's a debt we're gonna collect.
256
00:15:42,195 --> 00:15:44,284
You gonna make it there, sunshine?
257
00:15:44,328 --> 00:15:48,419
Fucker got the drop on me.
258
00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,771
Tell me her name again?
259
00:15:52,815 --> 00:15:56,340
Uh, goes by Dorothy Lyon now.
260
00:15:56,383 --> 00:15:58,429
Lives in a suburb
outside the Twin Cities.
261
00:15:58,473 --> 00:15:59,909
Married, you said?
262
00:15:59,952 --> 00:16:01,519
Going on ten years.
263
00:16:01,563 --> 00:16:04,609
Husband owns a car
dealership, some kind of...
264
00:16:04,653 --> 00:16:06,611
uh, Korean model.
265
00:16:06,655 --> 00:16:07,917
Koreans make cars?
266
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,223
I guess.
267
00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:11,573
Anyway, she's got a daughter
268
00:16:11,616 --> 00:16:14,401
named Scotty. She's about nine.
269
00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:25,238
Roy, we got FBI here.
270
00:16:29,982 --> 00:16:31,288
Let's send 'em up.
271
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:33,856
What do you want me to... ?
272
00:16:33,899 --> 00:16:35,031
Ah, don't worry about it.
273
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,867
Hard day at the office.
274
00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:47,565
Like the sign says, he's
a hard man for hard times.
275
00:16:47,609 --> 00:16:49,872
And by "he" I mean me.
276
00:16:55,442 --> 00:16:58,445
Agent "Ja-Queen."
277
00:16:58,489 --> 00:17:00,709
It's Joaquin.
278
00:17:00,752 --> 00:17:02,188
This is Agent Meyer.
279
00:17:02,232 --> 00:17:03,625
We're new in the Fargo office.
280
00:17:03,668 --> 00:17:05,104
We thought we'd come by,
281
00:17:05,148 --> 00:17:07,280
see why you aren't
enforcing any of our laws.
282
00:17:07,324 --> 00:17:08,891
What laws?
283
00:17:08,934 --> 00:17:10,632
Oh, you know, gun laws, drug laws.
284
00:17:10,675 --> 00:17:13,286
Any of the half-dozen
other American laws
285
00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:15,419
passed and ratified by the
United States government
286
00:17:15,462 --> 00:17:17,943
that you don't seem to recognize.
287
00:17:17,987 --> 00:17:19,945
Well, Agent Ja-Queen,
I think you'll find
288
00:17:19,989 --> 00:17:21,991
that there is no one
on God's green earth
289
00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:23,470
who is a greater enforcer
of the laws of this land
290
00:17:23,514 --> 00:17:24,950
than Roy Tillman.
291
00:17:24,994 --> 00:17:27,039
Why do I feel like there's a "but" here?
292
00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:28,171
But...
293
00:17:29,955 --> 00:17:34,133
... what you need to know is
that I amthe law of the land.
294
00:17:34,177 --> 00:17:36,919
Elected by the residents of this county
295
00:17:36,962 --> 00:17:39,051
to interpret and
enforce the Constitution
296
00:17:39,095 --> 00:17:42,533
given unto us by Almighty God.
297
00:17:42,577 --> 00:17:44,361
Mm-hmm.
298
00:17:44,404 --> 00:17:46,319
Freedom.
299
00:17:46,363 --> 00:17:47,843
Amen.
300
00:17:47,886 --> 00:17:50,149
You know, I hear that
word a lot out here.
301
00:17:50,193 --> 00:17:51,760
I'm curious...
302
00:17:51,803 --> 00:17:53,588
what you think it means.
303
00:17:53,631 --> 00:17:55,328
Agent, if you don't
know what freedom is,
304
00:17:55,372 --> 00:17:56,634
I don't think me saying
the words out loud
305
00:17:56,678 --> 00:17:58,418
is gonna teach you.
306
00:18:00,551 --> 00:18:03,162
Why don't you go and do your chores?
307
00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:14,304
Seriously?
308
00:18:15,522 --> 00:18:17,350
Do you want a towel, or... ?
309
00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:19,352
Does my discussing matters of state
310
00:18:19,396 --> 00:18:21,703
in moist repose bother you?
311
00:18:31,364 --> 00:18:32,888
Jesus.
312
00:18:44,464 --> 00:18:46,031
Now, what is it you wanted to discuss?
313
00:18:46,075 --> 00:18:48,033
Well, like I said, we're new in town.
314
00:18:48,077 --> 00:18:50,601
We thought we'd come
open a collegial dialogue.
315
00:18:50,645 --> 00:18:52,647
Maybe let you know we're
looking into the practices
316
00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:55,214
- of your office.
- Very unorthodox practices.
317
00:18:55,258 --> 00:18:57,129
Possibly illegal.
318
00:18:57,173 --> 00:19:00,698
Illegal according to who?
319
00:19:00,742 --> 00:19:01,917
Maybe you weren't paying attention,
320
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,440
but I am the law around here.
321
00:19:03,483 --> 00:19:05,485
So you said.
322
00:19:05,529 --> 00:19:08,227
Removable only by the
governor or my constituents,
323
00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:09,838
who love me, by the way,
324
00:19:09,881 --> 00:19:12,710
because I say what I
want and I do as I please.
325
00:19:12,754 --> 00:19:14,538
And I know the difference
between right and wrong.
326
00:19:14,581 --> 00:19:16,540
Don't you mean legal and illegal?
327
00:19:19,064 --> 00:19:21,023
Well...
328
00:19:21,066 --> 00:19:23,460
did you know that in
North Dakota it is illegal
329
00:19:23,503 --> 00:19:24,809
for a charitable group to hold
330
00:19:24,853 --> 00:19:28,030
more than two poker games a year?
331
00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:30,815
And similarly, it is illegal
332
00:19:30,859 --> 00:19:33,165
to keep an elk in a sandbox
in your own backyard.
333
00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:35,472
I shit you not.
334
00:19:35,515 --> 00:19:37,126
Now, if you were to own a tavern
335
00:19:37,169 --> 00:19:39,041
and serve beer and
pretzels at the same time,
336
00:19:39,084 --> 00:19:40,084
I could arrest you.
337
00:19:40,085 --> 00:19:42,609
And in Waverly...
338
00:19:42,653 --> 00:19:47,745
the law forbids horses
from sleeping in bathtubs.
339
00:19:47,789 --> 00:19:50,095
You beginning to get the drift here?
340
00:19:51,575 --> 00:19:54,099
I'm a sheriff of the
American Constitution.
341
00:19:54,143 --> 00:19:57,189
Bound by duty, blood, and tradition
342
00:19:57,233 --> 00:20:00,627
to enforce what is right and
to prosecute what is wrong.
343
00:20:00,671 --> 00:20:02,717
And the law, my friends...
344
00:20:03,718 --> 00:20:05,589
... has very little to do with it.
345
00:20:07,765 --> 00:20:11,638
So, Ja-Queen, Mrs. Ja-Queen,
346
00:20:11,682 --> 00:20:13,684
if you'll excuse me,
347
00:20:13,728 --> 00:20:15,512
I have some justice to administer.
348
00:20:16,643 --> 00:20:18,602
You can see yourself out.
349
00:20:39,226 --> 00:20:41,489
What do you say next time
we get an extra Blizzard
350
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:44,144
and hold it upside down
to see how long it takes
351
00:20:44,187 --> 00:20:45,885
for the stuffing to come out, huh?
352
00:20:45,928 --> 00:20:47,843
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
353
00:20:47,887 --> 00:20:50,411
Your tea selection is atrocious.
354
00:20:50,454 --> 00:20:52,413
How did you get in here?
355
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:57,897
Hey, Nana.
356
00:20:59,159 --> 00:21:01,770
Are you wearing lipstick?
357
00:21:01,813 --> 00:21:03,728
That's ketchup. We had curly fries.
358
00:21:07,994 --> 00:21:10,126
Like I said, how come you're in my home?
359
00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:12,128
Of course I have a key.
360
00:21:12,172 --> 00:21:14,609
It's my son's house.
361
00:21:14,652 --> 00:21:18,047
Still, sorry if-if we startled you.
362
00:21:18,091 --> 00:21:19,788
Imagine intruders
breaking into your house
363
00:21:19,831 --> 00:21:22,356
twice in one week.
364
00:21:22,399 --> 00:21:24,488
Oh, wait.
365
00:21:25,489 --> 00:21:27,883
That didn't happen.
366
00:21:29,798 --> 00:21:31,060
What do you want?
367
00:21:32,975 --> 00:21:36,544
Jerome, could you see my
granddaughter to her room?
368
00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:39,025
Maybe she wants to show you her dolls.
369
00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:42,506
I don't have dolls, Nana. I like ninjas.
370
00:21:42,550 --> 00:21:44,247
Is that some kind of cat?
371
00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:45,596
You're silly.
372
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,121
Come on, young Skywalker.
373
00:21:48,164 --> 00:21:52,168
I'll show you how a
true samurai fights, hmm?
374
00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:55,171
Whoa.
375
00:22:00,002 --> 00:22:04,528
Well, I guess with you
when it rains it pours.
376
00:22:04,572 --> 00:22:06,313
That...
377
00:22:08,532 --> 00:22:12,406
I mean, this is all just
a bunch of silliness.
378
00:22:12,449 --> 00:22:16,018
Honestly, I'm embarrassed
by all the fuss.
379
00:22:16,062 --> 00:22:17,933
Signs of a break-in, I'm told.
380
00:22:17,977 --> 00:22:21,415
Evidence you fought
back, which good for you.
381
00:22:21,458 --> 00:22:23,417
I'd have skinned 'em where they stood.
382
00:22:23,460 --> 00:22:25,375
Please.
383
00:22:25,419 --> 00:22:27,160
More like Mama had a tantrum
384
00:22:27,203 --> 00:22:29,597
and it all got blowed out of proportion.
385
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,035
Honestly, like a
snowball rolling downhill.
386
00:22:33,079 --> 00:22:36,473
Well, either you got a screw loose,
387
00:22:36,517 --> 00:22:40,216
or somebody came for
you and you got away...
388
00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:41,826
and now you're lying about it.
389
00:22:41,870 --> 00:22:43,654
Mom.
390
00:22:43,698 --> 00:22:45,874
No.
391
00:22:45,917 --> 00:22:47,832
I'm not your mom.
392
00:22:47,876 --> 00:22:51,532
You're married to my son,
mother to my granddaughter.
393
00:22:51,575 --> 00:22:53,925
I wanted a girl with papers,
394
00:22:53,969 --> 00:22:56,537
but my Wayne always liked a sassy thing
395
00:22:56,580 --> 00:22:59,018
with a tight caboose, so here you are.
396
00:23:03,065 --> 00:23:05,937
Haven't you ever had one of those days?
397
00:23:08,331 --> 00:23:11,682
So what if I do got a screw loose?
398
00:23:11,726 --> 00:23:14,337
Stress and the like.
399
00:23:14,381 --> 00:23:17,297
I'm holding up my end of the deal.
400
00:23:17,340 --> 00:23:19,081
We're man and wife,
401
00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:21,170
him and me,
402
00:23:21,214 --> 00:23:22,563
and he loves me.
403
00:23:22,606 --> 00:23:25,174
There are ways we could change that.
404
00:23:25,218 --> 00:23:27,002
The holy bond.
405
00:23:27,046 --> 00:23:29,309
Revocation of the trust.
406
00:23:29,352 --> 00:23:30,832
And cut you both out of the will,
407
00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:32,355
see if that moves the marker.
408
00:23:32,399 --> 00:23:33,617
What are you saying?
409
00:23:33,661 --> 00:23:36,055
I'm saying I don't trust you.
410
00:23:36,098 --> 00:23:37,665
You're up to something.
411
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,581
And I won't have you
dragging my son down.
412
00:23:40,624 --> 00:23:42,235
So...
413
00:23:42,278 --> 00:23:43,932
best you make excuses,
414
00:23:43,975 --> 00:23:48,371
you go back to wherever it
is you were before you met.
415
00:23:48,415 --> 00:23:53,159
If you go easy, I could
even see my way to...
416
00:23:53,202 --> 00:23:58,077
staking you for the first... two years.
417
00:23:59,948 --> 00:24:01,471
Listen, bitch.
418
00:24:03,038 --> 00:24:07,173
I've climbed through six kinds
of hell to get where I am.
419
00:24:07,216 --> 00:24:10,089
And no Ivy League royal
wannabe is gonna run me off
420
00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:12,091
just because she doesn't
like the way I smell.
421
00:24:14,267 --> 00:24:17,270
If you want to tussle with me...
422
00:24:17,313 --> 00:24:21,535
... you better sleep
with both eyes open.
423
00:24:21,578 --> 00:24:26,540
Because nobody takes
what's mine and lives.
424
00:24:32,676 --> 00:24:34,809
Anyhoo...
425
00:24:34,852 --> 00:24:36,767
thanks for stopping by.
426
00:24:37,681 --> 00:24:39,118
Dinner Sunday?
427
00:24:40,206 --> 00:24:42,643
I'll bring my blue salad.
428
00:24:43,731 --> 00:24:45,863
Jerome.
429
00:24:45,907 --> 00:24:47,778
We're leaving.
430
00:24:51,347 --> 00:24:53,654
Always nice to see you, dear.
431
00:24:55,699 --> 00:24:59,660
Maybe think about getting
some iron into your diet.
432
00:24:59,703 --> 00:25:01,792
You look like a corpse.
433
00:25:45,619 --> 00:25:46,794
Mom?
434
00:25:46,837 --> 00:25:48,578
Ooh.
435
00:25:52,278 --> 00:25:53,279
I'm hungry.
436
00:25:53,322 --> 00:25:55,106
What?
437
00:25:55,150 --> 00:25:56,934
You just had DQ.
438
00:25:56,978 --> 00:25:58,893
It didn't take.
439
00:25:58,936 --> 00:26:01,722
Oh. What's going on down there?
440
00:26:01,765 --> 00:26:03,332
A wedgie.
441
00:26:08,032 --> 00:26:09,773
Tell you what.
442
00:26:09,817 --> 00:26:12,602
How about we make a vegetable medley
443
00:26:12,646 --> 00:26:16,345
with carrot sticks and
the bell peppers you like?
444
00:26:16,389 --> 00:26:19,392
And then you can help Mom do
some kind of craft project.
445
00:26:19,435 --> 00:26:21,132
What kind of craft project?
446
00:26:21,176 --> 00:26:24,484
You're gonna have to go
downstairs to find out.
447
00:26:25,572 --> 00:26:27,530
Come on.
448
00:26:39,455 --> 00:26:41,849
Ah! Bye-bye.
449
00:26:41,892 --> 00:26:44,373
Nice done.
450
00:26:49,204 --> 00:26:50,771
Awesome.
451
00:27:01,303 --> 00:27:03,392
Ooh.
452
00:27:43,650 --> 00:27:45,434
- You ready?
- Yeah.
453
00:27:49,612 --> 00:27:51,527
Whoa.
454
00:28:11,939 --> 00:28:13,984
Keep your hands off the ball chain, huh?
455
00:28:14,028 --> 00:28:17,161
Mama doesn't want you
getting smooshed like a bug.
456
00:28:18,293 --> 00:28:20,861
Can we do my room next?
457
00:28:20,904 --> 00:28:22,950
Oh, yeah.
458
00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:24,560
Let's go.
459
00:28:24,604 --> 00:28:26,257
Race you.
460
00:28:31,088 --> 00:28:35,745
Don't forget our special
30% off winter deal on...
461
00:28:35,789 --> 00:28:38,966
Great deal, heck of a deal.
462
00:28:39,009 --> 00:28:42,404
Oh, sure, yeah, I got those
VIN numbers right here.
463
00:28:44,450 --> 00:28:47,148
Actually, Phil, I'll
have to call you back.
464
00:28:47,191 --> 00:28:49,672
All right.
465
00:28:49,716 --> 00:28:51,848
Finally saw the light
on that Porsche, did you?
466
00:28:53,197 --> 00:28:55,591
What are you, uh... ?
467
00:28:55,635 --> 00:28:58,246
- What are you... ?
- I got some business to discuss, Wayne.
468
00:28:58,289 --> 00:28:59,508
Ah.
469
00:29:00,553 --> 00:29:02,642
Is he on?
470
00:29:02,685 --> 00:29:04,252
Mom?
471
00:29:04,295 --> 00:29:06,123
Got a problem here, kid.
Need your help with it.
472
00:29:06,167 --> 00:29:07,298
Of course, yeah.
473
00:29:07,342 --> 00:29:08,996
Is it that landscaper again?
474
00:29:09,039 --> 00:29:10,954
No, it's not the landscaper, moron.
475
00:29:10,998 --> 00:29:13,043
It's your wife.
476
00:29:13,087 --> 00:29:15,350
Now hold on. That's, uh...
477
00:29:15,394 --> 00:29:17,744
This whole kidnapping that
ain't a kidnapping thing,
478
00:29:17,787 --> 00:29:19,746
well, there's something
fishy about that.
479
00:29:19,789 --> 00:29:22,009
Full low tide, if you ask me.
480
00:29:22,052 --> 00:29:23,314
Like the dog's breath.
481
00:29:23,358 --> 00:29:25,186
Now, we talked about this, uh...
482
00:29:25,229 --> 00:29:26,796
She had a bad day.
483
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,058
Son.
484
00:29:28,102 --> 00:29:29,625
I talked to the police.
485
00:29:29,669 --> 00:29:31,888
They got hard evidence
your wife was abducted.
486
00:29:31,932 --> 00:29:33,803
Not to mention,
487
00:29:33,847 --> 00:29:35,805
I just learned they think
they got one of the guys
488
00:29:35,849 --> 00:29:38,547
on a slab over in North Dakota.
489
00:29:38,591 --> 00:29:41,202
Broke his skull in the
commode of a filling station.
490
00:29:42,986 --> 00:29:45,206
- G... geez.
- Yeah, officer on the scene said
491
00:29:45,249 --> 00:29:47,904
there was a female
present who matches Dot.
492
00:29:47,948 --> 00:29:52,256
Get your head out of your ass, kid.
493
00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:54,563
She's making a play here, your missus.
494
00:29:54,607 --> 00:29:56,086
In cahoots with the kidnappers maybe,
495
00:29:56,130 --> 00:29:59,786
or maybe just seizing the opportunity.
496
00:29:59,829 --> 00:30:01,222
I'm not sure what or why.
497
00:30:01,265 --> 00:30:02,397
But any way you tell the story,
498
00:30:02,441 --> 00:30:04,355
it ends with me writing a check.
499
00:30:04,399 --> 00:30:07,750
Oh, come on now, Ma, n-not
everything's about money.
500
00:30:08,882 --> 00:30:09,926
Slap him.
501
00:30:09,970 --> 00:30:13,060
I'm... sorry?
502
00:30:13,103 --> 00:30:14,191
You heard me.
503
00:30:14,235 --> 00:30:15,758
My son needs a slap
504
00:30:15,802 --> 00:30:17,238
and I'm not there to give it to him.
505
00:30:17,281 --> 00:30:18,587
So, as my attorney, I authorize you
506
00:30:18,631 --> 00:30:20,894
to knock his fucking block off.
507
00:30:25,507 --> 00:30:27,030
No.
508
00:30:28,802 --> 00:30:29,858
No, no, no, no, no, no.
509
00:30:29,859 --> 00:30:31,382
Wait a minute... Aah!
510
00:30:33,297 --> 00:30:34,516
Ow.
511
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,083
Listen to me, boy.
512
00:30:36,126 --> 00:30:37,998
You're back at the
kiddie table on this one.
513
00:30:38,041 --> 00:30:39,826
That's official.
514
00:30:39,869 --> 00:30:43,046
Now shut your hole
and listen to me talk.
515
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,659
Trooper?
516
00:30:52,703 --> 00:30:54,574
Saved.
517
00:30:54,618 --> 00:30:56,576
From what?
518
00:30:56,620 --> 00:30:58,578
Concord grape, I think.
519
00:30:58,622 --> 00:31:00,798
Hmm.
520
00:31:00,841 --> 00:31:03,627
How... may I help you?
521
00:31:03,670 --> 00:31:05,237
Sure, well, I'm, uh, Deputy Olmstead,
522
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,021
Scandia Police Department
over in Minnesota.
523
00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:08,501
I wanted to ask you some questions
524
00:31:08,544 --> 00:31:09,850
about events that transpired last night.
525
00:31:09,894 --> 00:31:11,678
You and everybody else.
526
00:31:11,722 --> 00:31:13,767
Well, sir, I think I might
have a piece of your puzzle.
527
00:31:13,811 --> 00:31:16,596
To wit, the identity of the
missing female you assisted.
528
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,991
If I'm right, which I think I am.
529
00:31:20,034 --> 00:31:22,123
Color me intrigued.
530
00:31:22,167 --> 00:31:24,517
Taken from her home yesterday
afternoon by two men, we think.
531
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:26,301
We found blood from one.
532
00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:28,869
Looks like she burned the
other fella's face pretty bad.
533
00:31:28,913 --> 00:31:30,479
Sounds like my girl.
534
00:31:30,523 --> 00:31:32,003
Rambo, basically.
535
00:31:32,046 --> 00:31:36,181
Or, uh, the other
fella from the TV, uh...
536
00:31:36,224 --> 00:31:38,531
- MacGyver.
- Well, I got a picture.
537
00:31:38,574 --> 00:31:39,663
Mm.
538
00:31:41,012 --> 00:31:42,100
What do you know?
539
00:31:43,275 --> 00:31:45,059
It's a party.
540
00:31:45,103 --> 00:31:47,627
Indira Olmstead, Scandia
Police Department.
541
00:31:47,671 --> 00:31:49,977
Ah. City girl.
542
00:31:50,021 --> 00:31:51,979
Well, we prefer "women" these days.
543
00:31:52,023 --> 00:31:53,938
But the rest is accurate.
544
00:31:53,981 --> 00:31:55,374
How can we help you, stranger?
545
00:31:55,417 --> 00:31:59,117
Sheriff's Deputy, Stark County.
546
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,772
Sounds like you had a mix-up in
my neck of the woods last night,
547
00:32:01,815 --> 00:32:04,818
which we run a pretty tight ship, so...
548
00:32:04,862 --> 00:32:06,777
I take it personal when bad men appear.
549
00:32:06,820 --> 00:32:09,040
This job will grind you down,
you take it too personal.
550
00:32:09,083 --> 00:32:12,696
What can I say? I like being
on the right side of a gunfight.
551
00:32:12,739 --> 00:32:14,698
Heard you say you had
a picture of the perps?
552
00:32:14,741 --> 00:32:17,613
- Uh, victim. Female.
- Right.
553
00:32:17,657 --> 00:32:21,356
Saw something about,
uh, a woman got taken.
554
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,707
Or escaped or something?
555
00:32:23,750 --> 00:32:26,100
We think these fellas
grabbed her up in Minnesota.
556
00:32:26,144 --> 00:32:28,842
Taking her to points west when
the trooper pulled them over.
557
00:32:28,886 --> 00:32:31,410
She killed one, the
recidivist Donald Ireland,
558
00:32:31,453 --> 00:32:34,543
I think they said.
The other one got away.
559
00:32:34,587 --> 00:32:37,851
Sounds like a real Comanche,
this female you're hunting.
560
00:32:37,895 --> 00:32:41,681
Like I said, I got a photo. Excuse me.
561
00:32:41,725 --> 00:32:44,771
So, what, she some
kind of criminal, also?
562
00:32:44,815 --> 00:32:46,338
Not exactly.
563
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:48,644
Had a mix-up at her
daughter's school this week.
564
00:32:48,688 --> 00:32:50,081
Tased an officer by accident.
565
00:32:50,124 --> 00:32:51,517
How's that happen?
566
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:52,997
Heat of the moment, I'm guessing.
567
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,302
Used to be a saying:
568
00:32:54,346 --> 00:32:57,175
"Minnesota nice." But I was there.
569
00:32:57,218 --> 00:32:59,438
Nothing nice about Minnesota that day.
570
00:32:59,481 --> 00:33:01,440
Oops. What'd I do?
571
00:33:01,483 --> 00:33:03,964
- What did you... ?
- I must've, I don't know, I pressed something.
572
00:33:04,008 --> 00:33:07,098
Darn it, you deleted
the victim, her photo.
573
00:33:07,141 --> 00:33:09,970
Yeah, me and technology
don't see eye to eye.
574
00:33:10,014 --> 00:33:11,319
Especially now.
575
00:33:11,363 --> 00:33:13,800
This wrist-breaker... ah.
576
00:33:13,844 --> 00:33:16,020
No, it-it's my fault.
577
00:33:16,063 --> 00:33:18,196
I'm not sure what I was
thinking just bringing the one.
578
00:33:18,239 --> 00:33:20,807
Well, I sure hope you find her.
579
00:33:20,851 --> 00:33:23,157
If it was her, saved my life, I think.
580
00:33:23,201 --> 00:33:25,856
Oh, no, she's home. A
little worse for wear
581
00:33:25,899 --> 00:33:27,161
but intact.
582
00:33:27,205 --> 00:33:28,380
Strangest thing, though.
583
00:33:28,423 --> 00:33:30,077
Despite all evidence,
584
00:33:30,121 --> 00:33:31,992
she's claiming it never happened.
585
00:33:32,036 --> 00:33:34,081
Never... what now?
586
00:33:34,125 --> 00:33:35,648
Says nobody broke in.
587
00:33:35,691 --> 00:33:37,302
Says she wasn't taken.
588
00:33:37,345 --> 00:33:38,869
Just went for a wander for ten hours
589
00:33:38,912 --> 00:33:41,045
and then came home and cooked breakfast.
590
00:33:41,088 --> 00:33:42,916
Cry for attention, sounds like.
591
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:46,354
Drama queen trying to
make her husband sick.
592
00:33:46,398 --> 00:33:48,008
Who said she has a husband?
593
00:33:48,052 --> 00:33:49,662
No, I mean, I'm assuming.
594
00:33:49,705 --> 00:33:52,708
Description said 30s in
the police report, so...
595
00:33:52,752 --> 00:33:54,406
Well, all I know is, the
woman I met broke loose
596
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:56,974
like somebody who knows
how small the cage can get.
597
00:33:58,453 --> 00:34:00,151
Wish you had that picture.
598
00:34:00,194 --> 00:34:02,153
Like to meet that
woman again, thank her.
599
00:34:02,196 --> 00:34:04,155
For what? Far as I can tell,
600
00:34:04,198 --> 00:34:06,157
she's the one got you
shot in the first place.
601
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,202
Oh, the job got me shot.
602
00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:10,291
She was just...
603
00:34:10,335 --> 00:34:12,467
trying to get free.
604
00:34:12,511 --> 00:34:14,121
But you know what they say.
605
00:34:14,165 --> 00:34:15,340
Protect and serve.
606
00:34:17,037 --> 00:34:19,866
Yeah, I'm down with "protect," but...
607
00:34:19,910 --> 00:34:21,520
I ain't in the service industry.
608
00:34:21,563 --> 00:34:25,393
I'm in the kicking ass
and taking names business.
609
00:34:34,228 --> 00:34:35,839
You two have a nice day.
610
00:34:55,684 --> 00:34:57,861
Consider that bitch flummoxed.
611
00:35:30,763 --> 00:35:32,156
What the heck?
612
00:35:32,199 --> 00:35:33,984
Hiya, hon.
613
00:35:37,465 --> 00:35:38,814
What the heck?
614
00:35:38,858 --> 00:35:40,512
Made some shepherd's pie.
615
00:35:46,431 --> 00:35:47,998
Scotty.
616
00:35:49,042 --> 00:35:50,391
What you doing there?
617
00:35:50,435 --> 00:35:52,437
For security. Mom said.
618
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,178
- Yeah.
- Oh.
619
00:35:54,221 --> 00:35:55,222
Hon...
620
00:35:55,266 --> 00:35:58,008
Yeah?
621
00:35:58,051 --> 00:36:00,575
Why is there a sledgehammer
over the front door?
622
00:36:00,619 --> 00:36:03,187
Well, we talked about an alarm system,
623
00:36:03,230 --> 00:36:06,712
but you said we couldn't
afford a good one, so we...
624
00:36:06,755 --> 00:36:08,496
Well, what the heck is... ?
625
00:36:08,540 --> 00:36:10,107
Oh, no, hon, I wouldn't
touch that. It's electrified.
626
00:36:10,150 --> 00:36:11,543
It's what?
627
00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:13,501
It's plugged into the wall.
628
00:36:13,545 --> 00:36:15,373
Anyone tries to bust in,
629
00:36:15,416 --> 00:36:17,418
well, they'll get a righteous shock.
630
00:36:23,163 --> 00:36:25,818
Hon, c-can we talk? I...
631
00:36:25,861 --> 00:36:29,082
Wait, how, I'm just gonna...
632
00:36:29,126 --> 00:36:30,692
How about you go upstairs and, uh,
633
00:36:30,736 --> 00:36:33,478
watch some cartoons on your Samsung?
634
00:36:33,521 --> 00:36:35,784
Yeah?
635
00:36:38,483 --> 00:36:41,355
- Yeah.
- Let me get my apron off at least.
636
00:36:45,316 --> 00:36:47,318
Uh, Mom came by the lot today.
637
00:36:47,361 --> 00:36:50,234
Er, well, her man did.
638
00:36:50,277 --> 00:36:51,670
Uh, she called in.
639
00:36:51,713 --> 00:36:53,498
Yeah, she...
640
00:36:53,541 --> 00:36:55,282
I saw her, too.
641
00:36:55,326 --> 00:36:56,762
But don't worry.
642
00:36:56,805 --> 00:36:58,851
I think we came to an understanding.
643
00:36:58,894 --> 00:37:00,461
She said that, or... ?
644
00:37:00,505 --> 00:37:02,463
- No.
- Oh.
645
00:37:02,507 --> 00:37:05,814
But women understand each other.
646
00:37:05,858 --> 00:37:08,904
Well, hon, I don't think you do...
647
00:37:08,948 --> 00:37:11,995
u-understand each other.
648
00:37:12,038 --> 00:37:14,519
She... She's litigating
against you, see.
649
00:37:14,562 --> 00:37:17,261
She, uh...
650
00:37:17,304 --> 00:37:19,567
Well, she thinks you
made this whole thing up.
651
00:37:19,611 --> 00:37:23,528
I... I mean, the whole
thing sounds... loony.
652
00:37:23,571 --> 00:37:27,227
But she-she thinks you're
some kind of con woman.
653
00:37:27,271 --> 00:37:29,969
Uh, playing us for our money.
654
00:37:30,013 --> 00:37:31,753
Uh, in league with the kidnappers.
655
00:37:31,797 --> 00:37:33,277
I just...
656
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:37,063
Told you, there were
no kidnappers, just...
657
00:37:37,107 --> 00:37:38,586
Drove around to-to clear your head.
658
00:37:38,630 --> 00:37:40,632
But-but, hon, the-the...
659
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,547
The-the car was here the whole time.
660
00:37:42,590 --> 00:37:43,852
Walking, I said, or I-I...
661
00:37:43,896 --> 00:37:45,332
Listen, I believe you.
662
00:37:45,376 --> 00:37:48,074
I'm not the one you got to... I just...
663
00:37:48,118 --> 00:37:49,815
And she said she can get
the cops out of the equation.
664
00:37:49,858 --> 00:37:53,471
You know, her friend the
attorney general, but, hon...
665
00:37:53,514 --> 00:37:55,864
You know, from-from where she's
sitting the-the whole thing
666
00:37:55,908 --> 00:37:57,562
don't make a lot of sense.
667
00:38:01,392 --> 00:38:03,829
But it makes sense to us.
668
00:38:04,830 --> 00:38:06,614
That's what matters, right?
669
00:38:06,658 --> 00:38:09,922
Yeah, maybe.
670
00:38:09,965 --> 00:38:14,535
But, hon... wh-why-why is
there a, a-a sledgehammer
671
00:38:14,579 --> 00:38:16,233
in the vestibule?
672
00:38:16,276 --> 00:38:19,062
A-And how come Scotty's
making a zombie killer?
673
00:38:19,105 --> 00:38:21,977
Well, like she said. Security.
674
00:38:22,021 --> 00:38:23,196
From what?
675
00:38:23,240 --> 00:38:24,632
Hon...
676
00:38:24,676 --> 00:38:26,373
No, I-I'm just trying to, you know...
677
00:38:26,417 --> 00:38:30,203
No. You can't. You-you weren't there.
678
00:38:30,247 --> 00:38:31,726
At the school board.
679
00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:35,817
Neighbor against neighbor.
680
00:38:35,861 --> 00:38:37,384
Society's breaking down here.
681
00:38:37,428 --> 00:38:39,082
The social structure.
682
00:38:39,125 --> 00:38:42,041
What side you're on, whether
you're for or against,
683
00:38:42,085 --> 00:38:45,653
I-I'm just saying...
684
00:38:46,872 --> 00:38:48,439
We need to wake up here.
685
00:38:48,482 --> 00:38:50,919
Protect ourselves, in case...
686
00:38:50,963 --> 00:38:52,704
In case what?
687
00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:55,054
In case...
688
00:38:55,098 --> 00:38:57,752
ruffians at the door.
689
00:38:57,796 --> 00:39:00,929
Or Mr. Abernathy
decides he wants revenge.
690
00:39:00,973 --> 00:39:02,801
Or a thousand other maybes.
691
00:39:02,844 --> 00:39:04,455
Uh, who?
692
00:39:04,498 --> 00:39:05,891
Scotty's math teacher.
693
00:39:05,934 --> 00:39:07,197
The fella I tased before the cop.
694
00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:08,720
Y-You tased the math teacher?
695
00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:10,461
Well...
696
00:39:10,504 --> 00:39:12,332
I got a bad feeling, hon.
697
00:39:12,376 --> 00:39:14,334
- Yeah.
- People do.
698
00:39:14,378 --> 00:39:16,075
It's not just me.
699
00:39:16,119 --> 00:39:18,643
And I'm, I-I'm not saying
that we should build a bunker.
700
00:39:18,686 --> 00:39:21,820
Or stockpile long guns.
701
00:39:21,863 --> 00:39:23,387
A few common sense...
702
00:39:23,430 --> 00:39:26,520
Hon, y-y-y-you got electric
wire on the windows.
703
00:39:26,564 --> 00:39:27,956
A few practical solutions.
704
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,828
Unless you're ready to step up
705
00:39:29,871 --> 00:39:33,745
and go state of the art, really
sink some capital into it.
706
00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:37,096
I-I... Should we, I don't know,
sh-sh-sh-should we get a gun?
707
00:39:37,140 --> 00:39:40,882
See? Oh. Now you're thinking.
708
00:39:40,926 --> 00:39:43,581
A gun is a great idea.
We should get a shotgun.
709
00:39:43,624 --> 00:39:45,365
- Oh.
- And maybe a pistol for the bedroom.
710
00:39:45,409 --> 00:39:48,020
- Ah.
- And maybe we could replace my Taser, too.
711
00:39:48,063 --> 00:39:50,762
And, I don't know,
maybe some kind of net.
712
00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:53,156
- Just in case they, uh...
- A net?
713
00:39:53,199 --> 00:39:54,199
- Huh?
- Huh?
714
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,549
All I'm saying is-is,
715
00:39:55,593 --> 00:39:57,682
now we're speaking the same language.
716
00:40:00,946 --> 00:40:02,469
Oh, you're such a gentle guy.
717
00:40:02,513 --> 00:40:03,818
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
718
00:40:03,862 --> 00:40:06,169
I know how hard this is.
719
00:40:07,300 --> 00:40:09,172
I-I just want to play floor hockey
720
00:40:09,215 --> 00:40:12,479
in my socks with Scotty again
and watch Real Housewives.
721
00:40:12,523 --> 00:40:13,959
I know.
722
00:40:15,090 --> 00:40:17,528
And we can and we will.
723
00:40:17,571 --> 00:40:21,836
Hey. We just got to take
care of a few things first.
724
00:40:28,147 --> 00:40:30,802
All I ever wanted was...
725
00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:34,588
Y-You're my dream come true.
726
00:40:38,331 --> 00:40:40,768
And you're mine.
727
00:40:47,166 --> 00:40:49,342
Come on, mister.
728
00:40:49,386 --> 00:40:51,562
Before your daughter's
brain turns to sludge.
729
00:40:51,605 --> 00:40:53,564
Yeah.
730
00:40:53,607 --> 00:40:55,261
Hey, Scotty.
731
00:40:57,785 --> 00:40:59,613
Let's eat!
732
00:41:19,154 --> 00:41:20,895
Pull in here. I got to take a piss.
733
00:41:53,363 --> 00:41:55,713
- Want a pop?
- No, I'm fine.
734
00:42:02,415 --> 00:42:04,199
Whoa.
735
00:43:04,477 --> 00:43:06,087
I got us some jerky.
736
00:43:08,220 --> 00:43:09,656
Spicy kind.
737
00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:12,137
You better keep those windows down.
738
00:43:30,068 --> 00:43:31,591
Fuck, that's hot.
739
00:43:47,781 --> 00:43:50,436
Where is this guy?
740
00:43:56,486 --> 00:43:58,052
Oh, my God.
741
00:43:59,010 --> 00:44:00,707
Oh, my God.
742
00:44:20,205 --> 00:44:21,641
Oh, shit.
743
00:44:25,210 --> 00:44:26,864
Oh, shit.
744
00:44:11,190 --> 00:44:13,817
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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