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1
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We've got
a parallel problem here
2
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:18,061
with fire suppression
and fire culture.
3
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,849
We're missing
all the different voices and different perspectives.
4
00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,982
We're living with this
100-year-old legacy
5
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,419
of absolute fire suppression
that was created
6
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,726
by a homogenous group
of white dudes
7
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:33,946
and didn't take into account
any indigenous wisdom or experience
8
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,166
of living with fire
on the landscape.
9
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,647
And then we've got
this fire culture that's dominated
10
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:42,477
by stereotypically macho,
aggressive ways of thinking.
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00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,174
It's not that women
are better at this
12
00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:48,352
or should be
the only ones here. But I am here.
13
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:51,442
And not everyone in fire,
lots of dudes included,
14
00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:53,531
fits into the framework
that we have right now.
15
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,448
We can't try to completely
suppress fire
16
00:00:57,492 --> 00:01:00,060
and just hope for good outcomes
on the landscape.
17
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:02,497
And we can't be
suppressing women in this industry
18
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,151
and hoping
for a healthy culture.
19
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,980
We need more diversity
everywhere.
20
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:26,347
Whoo! Oh, that's hot.
21
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,523
Can you get in there with me?
22
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:29,959
It's about to climb up.
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00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:38,837
Okay, you just take care
of that one.
24
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:40,796
I'm gonna make sure
it stays out of this one.
25
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:50,675
Oh, shit.
26
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:54,723
You have any other aircraft on order at this time?
27
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,594
I think we should
walk back south.
28
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:58,857
No, negative... Meet up with our dudes.
29
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,946
Find an actual anchor point.
30
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:03,558
This doesn't count.
31
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,392
Yeah, uh... Quick.
Ooh, it's hot.
32
00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:13,002
Okay.
33
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:20,401
We need to...
Oh, fuck. I'm tired.
34
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,579
Let's grab this, Ed,
35
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,972
before it gets to that tree.
36
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:29,236
And we'll tie these little
patches of rock together.
37
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:34,110
I'll dig. You spread.
38
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:40,072
But don't...
Don't overextend yourself if you're not comfortable.
39
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,296
Well, now we're into that.
40
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,385
Yep.
41
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:51,693
Which means
this is not a useful anchor.
42
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:56,611
I'm saying, just walk that,
start heading north.
43
00:02:56,654 --> 00:03:00,963
Just walk that grass line,
stop the... Stop the forward.
44
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:04,053
Well, yeah,
but we got fire running up behind us,
45
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,186
in juniper.
46
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,449
It's kind of useless stopping
the forward spread
47
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,277
if we don't have
an anchor point.
48
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:21,679
That was moving way
too fast for two people.
49
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,115
No way we were gonna catch it.
50
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:26,380
You still feel safe here?
51
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:30,514
Okay, Just making sure, man.
52
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,951
I mean,
I'm responsible for you.
53
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:37,217
Work at the right flank, along the top of the ridge.
54
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,393
When I first started
in fire, I didn't feel like
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00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:44,528
it was my place
to rock the boat, because I wanted to fit in.
56
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:48,097
Now I'm past the point
of, like, giving any shits.
57
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:51,274
I've never seen anybody
suppress a fire with their penis.
58
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:54,103
It shouldn't
hinder me professionally that I don't have one.
59
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:16,908
Firing, burn boss trainee.
60
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:43,108
Break holding, burn boss.
61
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:45,546
Go for holding.
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00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,418
If that heat is hot enough,
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00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,464
it'll pull this flame
into the wind.
64
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,206
The primary wind direction
is this way.
65
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,034
But there was
enough fire there that...
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00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,819
That fire is drawing
enough oxygen
67
00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:00,735
that it holds this fire back
and pulls it into the wind.
68
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,867
And that's a great way
to deal with...
69
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:04,391
With corners.
70
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,175
- Go ahead.
- Thank you.
71
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:09,396
I'd like to
see a hotter fire, ma'am.
72
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:14,488
Whereas, if you let it
peter out kind of into this low grass and stuff...
73
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,630
If you ask somebody,
like, close your eyes
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00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,980
and picture a firefighter,
a wildland firefighter.
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00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:34,290
Like tall, broad-shouldered,
the handsome dude.
76
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:39,077
White dude, you know?
Like, there's your mold.
77
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:42,777
And you say, okay,
now think about a female firefighter.
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00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:45,127
You don't think about
all the badass things.
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00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,129
Like, I rappel
out of helicopters.
80
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:51,742
I weigh 135 pounds,
but when I pack out from a rappel fire,
81
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,745
my backpack weighs
100 pounds.
82
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:57,008
So, fire takes
a special person.
83
00:05:57,052 --> 00:06:00,577
I think it's important
from the learning perspective.
84
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:01,883
- Okay.
- Um...
85
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:05,190
I'm a little reluctant
to, like, break off, uh,
86
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,584
- firing and holding
from the rest of the team. - Yep.
87
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,151
So, but that would be
good for...
88
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:11,501
Be good for FEMOs. Okay.
89
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:12,981
For me, fire's never mundane.
90
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:14,461
It's like a personality.
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00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:18,508
Like, every time you go out
and put fire on the land,
92
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,685
it has a different personality,
every single day.
93
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:24,906
And you really
have to respect that.
94
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:30,346
There's always been
a power imbalance in a patriarchal society,
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00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,913
in a male-dominated
environment.
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00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:35,133
We see it 'cause we feel it.
97
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:40,487
Women feel like, sometimes,
they have to assimilate to that behavior
98
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:44,404
if they wanna fit into
a male-dominated culture and environment.
99
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,493
And I even remember
thinking that about myself.
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00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:49,060
I'm... I'm walking
into a man's world.
101
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:52,803
There's gonna be some things
that I can't be oversensitive about.
102
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:58,113
But, at the same time,
I want to at least know you respect me.
103
00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:00,420
Female Forest Service employees,
104
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,378
many of them firefighters,
105
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,468
have complained about
mistreatment for decades.
106
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,949
In the past ten years,
the agency has paid out
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00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:10,517
more than
half a million dollars to settle claims
108
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,520
involving sexual harassment
and assault,
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00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:18,002
and Congress has held
two different hearings to investigate the problem.
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00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:20,527
There is something rotten
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00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:24,487
in the US
Department of Agriculture and the Forest Service.
112
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:28,578
Raise your hands on this,
how many of you heard sexual comments from colleagues?
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00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,799
"Whore." "Slut."
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00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,932
"When you're done with him,
can you sleep with me?"
115
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:39,023
"Get the
back in the kitchen and bake me some cookies."
116
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:43,114
What did you feel
was at stake if you reported it to the Forest Service?
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00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:44,812
Everything.
118
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:54,517
There is harassment,
assault, intimidation, hostile work environment,
119
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,084
those are very real things.
120
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,129
And I know people
who have experienced...
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00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:01,176
very awful things.
122
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:05,006
And that's not the entire story
123
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:08,313
for every person, everywhere,
all the time.
124
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:14,581
It's not only about
the individual, because we've created a culture
125
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:17,584
where those behaviors
are normalized.
126
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:20,369
And we are all
contributing to it,
127
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:24,199
whether or not we are
"obviously" perpetrating that kind of harm.
128
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:49,485
- That looks pretty good.
Mmm-hmm. - Yeah.
129
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,880
During briefing,
Jenny was saying that the burn plan
130
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:55,665
for all the Tall Timbers units
is the same,
131
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,928
and the objectives match.
132
00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,757
And then, once the igniter's out
and I get the okay from the burn boss, we're gonna...
133
00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:03,325
We're gonna bring
these two together.
134
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:05,936
When are you
gonna hold up? - Point to here...
135
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:11,289
Ten percent of the fire service,
they say, are women, and 90 percent are men,
136
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,248
and so, right away,
Nikole and I were like,
137
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,598
"How cool would it be
if we flip-flop the numbers?"
138
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:18,775
Like, let's invite
10% men and 90% women,
139
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:22,605
and get the male perspective
when they're actually the minority of the group.
140
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:34,312
The women participating here
are more than capable...
141
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:37,489
of every guy I know.
142
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:41,189
But I needed
to better understand the hurdles
143
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,669
that were in front of them.
144
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,932
The challenges they face
on a day-to-day basis.
145
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:48,196
And you cannot function
well as a team
146
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:51,895
unless all members
are treated equally.
147
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:54,463
You can't be something that you can't see.
148
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,291
And if you're a young woman
working up in fire
149
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,249
and all of your supervisors
are male,
150
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:00,774
they may be great leaders,
151
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,993
but if you don't have
that vision
152
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:06,083
of what a woman leader
looks like in fire,
153
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,476
how can you aspire to be that?
154
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:12,655
They don't have to fit the bill
of what they're used to,
155
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:17,660
which can sometimes
be very macho or very militaristic.
156
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:21,838
Those are, not necessarily,
qualities that everyone wants to have as a leader.
157
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:27,452
It was the first time that I've ever been
158
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:30,891
in a operational setting
with that many women.
159
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:33,284
Hanging out in the cabins
at night,
160
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:36,897
talking about, you know, lives,
work, everything in between.
161
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:40,552
- Look at you! Aw!
- Oh, you're so cute!
162
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:42,119
Did we burn your home?
163
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:44,469
I'm sorry.
164
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:51,651
Sadie.
165
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,654
I found you something.
166
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,134
- Oh, is it... Is it one of
those green tree frogs? - Yeah.
167
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:58,701
Let me see.
168
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:05,490
Oh, it's so cute.
169
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:10,800
Just having
that atmosphere
170
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,281
of collective learning
and growth,
171
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:16,676
and having that space
to chat with other folks
172
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,504
who may be going through
similar experiences as me,
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00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,419
you know, it really
sort of lit that spark.
174
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,642
It's up to personal preference
how you wanna run this.
175
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,689
If you wanna lay this here
or you wanna have this on your shoulder.
176
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:31,386
This will give you
a little bit more room.
177
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:32,822
- Okay.
- Make sure it's in a way that
178
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,302
it doesn't dangle
over your neck.
179
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:41,265
There are
so many things I love about doing this work.
180
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,224
I love the way fire smells.
181
00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:45,835
I love going home
and being able to smell the smoke in my braids, still.
182
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,141
I love to be outside.
183
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:50,057
I love that
I'm not working indoors.
184
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,233
I love that it's never the same.
185
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:55,540
You know? I don't walk into
the same environment every day.
186
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:57,325
No two fires are alike.
187
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,501
There's constantly a challenge,
188
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:02,025
a new solution
to come up with, and...
189
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:03,853
It's dynamic and it's fun.
190
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,900
And I... I honestly
do work with a lot of really wonderful people.
191
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:21,566
If you don't really
feel it in your heart and soul to work
192
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:24,091
in a very, very
challenging environment,
193
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:28,660
it's gonna be a really, really
hard career for you, a hard job.
194
00:12:28,704 --> 00:12:31,881
But I do hope
that you find friendships here,
195
00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:37,147
that you find a community here
that you can count on when you leave here.
196
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:40,716
Because, for me,
the more that I can form
197
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,981
a network outside of my work
at Yosemite
198
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:48,680
is really, truly, um,
what gives me strength.
199
00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:03,391
Here he comes again.
200
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,834
Or she...
Here she comes again.
201
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,715
This is such a trip.
202
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,851
Get outta here.
A hummingbird out here?
203
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:35,205
Like, hummingbirds are, like,
attracted to, like, red, bright flowers and...
204
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:39,079
There's, like, nothing
that would attract a hummingbird.
205
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:42,386
There's some like
really cool energy going on here, isn't there?
206
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,301
You just have to kind of
let yourself open to it.
207
00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:47,914
And these, like,
these magical things happen here in Yosemite.
208
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:54,921
Every day, every day here,
something magic happens
209
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:58,620
that I'm so grateful for.
Just eternally grateful for.
210
00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:09,631
As a kid, I grew up
with my grandmother taking us up to
211
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:13,156
her cabin on a lake.
As young kids, we...
212
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,116
We had such a love
for the outdoors through my grandmother.
213
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,989
The older I got,
the more difficult it was for me
214
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:24,124
to be, like,
inside four walls in a school.
215
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:26,996
Junior high, high school
is when it really started becoming very difficult,
216
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,911
'cause it just felt like
217
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:32,697
there was so much
incredible energy and beauty in the outdoors
218
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:36,005
that I just was having
a really tough time.
219
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:42,969
I knew, at that point,
I wanted to live in the outdoors.
220
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:50,541
I graduated high school,
transferred to Northland College,
221
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,935
got a four-year degree
in outdoor ed.
222
00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:57,461
I met some really great people
in college.
223
00:14:57,505 --> 00:15:00,943
I loved the sense of spirit
that I was receiving
224
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:05,034
from Native American students
that I was going to school with.
225
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:09,560
That finally, kind of,
started to fit my own ideals of what...
226
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,736
The outdoors,
and what's important to me.
227
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,043
Be it the plants
and the trees
228
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:16,959
and the birds and the sky
and the air and the water,
229
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:20,571
so, all the elements,
the outdoor elements, was... Is so sacred.
230
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:26,186
I felt like I had
such a strong connection
231
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:29,929
to the natural environment
232
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,974
that I just wanted to be in it.
233
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,149
I wanted to live in it,
234
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:35,151
I wanted to try
to understand it more.
235
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:41,157
I don't think we can understand
the natural environment without being in it.
236
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:43,812
You can't read it from a book.
237
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:48,904
I can't experience it through
somebody teaching me about it.
238
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:54,605
That, I think, is what drew me
to making the decision to live in a teepee.
239
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,701
I knew it was gonna be cold.
240
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:05,442
I prepared myself for it.
241
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:08,619
But throughout the winter,
crazy things happened.
242
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:13,624
Thirty below, by myself...
243
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:15,496
Most people thought
I was completely nuts.
244
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,628
I'm sure there was bets
made on me as to whether or not
245
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:20,109
I was gonna
make it through the winter.
246
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:31,947
I was sleeping
as close to the earth as I could possibly get
247
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,733
to try to understand
all the changes that go on.
248
00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:38,867
That, unless you're really in it
and you're living it day to day,
249
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:42,740
you don't really notice
the little nuances that really change.
250
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:45,743
And what was really neat for me
is just seeing how,
251
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:48,181
as it got deeper and deeper
into winter
252
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,792
and the light just kept
getting less and less,
253
00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:55,014
what it meant to keep
a fire going, and keep it warm.
254
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:57,451
Feeling like I had
that protection of fire...
255
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,889
in my teepee.
256
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:05,589
That sacredness of having fire
protect me, keep me warm,
257
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:10,507
I knew I had to rely on it
for my own survival.
258
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,772
After the spring
started coming in
259
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,558
and things were
starting to thaw,
260
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:21,301
I felt like I made it through
a winter, 30 below,
261
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:25,348
there was such
a sense of accomplishment.
262
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:31,615
I have anchored my entire life
and my challenges to that winter.
263
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:35,271
I can look back
on that time in my life and know that...
264
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:41,364
I came out
a much better person and I survived.
265
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:45,412
I absolutely know,
without a doubt, I chose my dream job
266
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:48,458
to come up to fire management.
267
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:51,418
But very, very few women
choose this as a career,
268
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:54,029
and very few actually
make it to the rank
269
00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:57,293
that... That... That I'm at.
270
00:17:57,337 --> 00:18:00,079
But all along the way,
throughout my career,
271
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:05,562
these types of really
difficult situations felt anchored.
272
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:10,524
Like, look,
if you can live in a teepee
273
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:15,181
for one winter,
and in the freezing cold, sub-zero,
274
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:18,706
You can do just about anything.
275
00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:55,803
Thank you.
276
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,767
I knew I could get through it,
'cause it wasn't strong.
277
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:06,379
But just had to
get it off the...
278
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:07,858
The first twist.
279
00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:09,904
As you were going down,
and then it twisted like...
280
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:13,516
I know,
I was, like, goddamn it! -
281
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,084
Well, that was
an interesting rappel, wasn't it?
282
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:34,233
Oh, my God!
283
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:35,756
This camera does have audio.
284
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:38,367
You might wanna move.
285
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:41,544
- That's gonna...
- Thank God it was from behind me. -
286
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:58,300
This is the sound
of Yosemite. Honking horns.
287
00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:00,824
Somebody got locked
out of their vehicle,
288
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,173
first thing in the morning.
289
00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:06,526
Kinda cracks me up.
290
00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:12,662
You think you're in
a really peaceful place, and then, backup alarms and...
291
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:17,276
...security alarms
on vehicles.
292
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,799
Kind of funny.
293
00:21:18,842 --> 00:21:20,801
Then again...
294
00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:24,065
Yosemite Valley
really isn't wilderness
295
00:21:24,108 --> 00:21:26,850
when you have,
sometimes up to 30,000 people
296
00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:28,939
coming through in a day
or a weekend.
297
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,728
But there's always places to go.
298
00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:53,399
Mmm.
299
00:21:53,442 --> 00:21:54,443
Nice day.
300
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:06,368
I know what I forgot
to put in there. Flaxseed and hemp seed.
301
00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:09,545
More protein.
302
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,246
This is my air-conditioning...
303
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:17,684
today.
304
00:22:21,427 --> 00:22:22,950
And the house stays fairly cool
305
00:22:23,907 --> 00:22:25,300
if the windows are closed.
306
00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:27,737
So, yeah, good check.
307
00:22:28,608 --> 00:22:29,696
Right.
308
00:22:48,018 --> 00:22:49,324
Doesn't get any easier.
309
00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:09,866
All right.
310
00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:19,963
Okay, I'll see you guys
a little later.
311
00:23:21,704 --> 00:23:22,705
Bye.
312
00:23:35,239 --> 00:23:37,459
I remember talking
to a friend of mine,
313
00:23:37,503 --> 00:23:41,071
and she said,
do you ever get tired of this?
314
00:23:41,115 --> 00:23:45,293
And I... No, no, no.
315
00:23:45,336 --> 00:23:51,081
The magnitude is...
unbelievable.
316
00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:54,563
And we're gonna see that today
when we hike out to this fire
317
00:23:54,607 --> 00:23:57,087
that we had
a couple of years ago,
318
00:23:57,131 --> 00:24:00,177
and you see
the incredible blooms of wildflowers.
319
00:24:01,831 --> 00:24:05,574
That's just... It's a...
It's a piece of magic on the land.
320
00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:11,101
We just have such a long way
to go to help people understand
321
00:24:11,145 --> 00:24:16,672
that fire creates
incredible diversity and beauty on the landscape.
322
00:24:17,978 --> 00:24:19,806
Right now, we're just...
323
00:24:19,849 --> 00:24:21,851
We see the devastation
and the news
324
00:24:21,895 --> 00:24:23,853
and the people
that are killed and...
325
00:24:23,897 --> 00:24:25,986
I... I understand that from a...
326
00:24:26,029 --> 00:24:30,077
An absolute tragedy
standpoint of view,
327
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:33,994
but there's so much of it
that we really have to kind of think about how...
328
00:24:34,037 --> 00:24:36,518
How we... How that came about.
329
00:24:36,562 --> 00:24:42,306
When we started exterminating
fire on the landscape,
330
00:24:43,220 --> 00:24:44,657
and we started persecuting it,
331
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:45,745
that fire was bad.
332
00:24:45,788 --> 00:24:46,833
It needs to be put out.
333
00:24:46,876 --> 00:24:48,269
It needs to be contained.
334
00:24:48,312 --> 00:24:50,227
It needs to be subdued.
335
00:25:06,809 --> 00:25:10,552
There's so many different kinds
of butterflies coming out,
336
00:25:10,596 --> 00:25:12,032
and they're all...
They're different colors.
337
00:25:17,820 --> 00:25:18,952
Of course, lots of bees.
338
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,915
Oh, some of my favorites.
339
00:25:25,959 --> 00:25:28,701
When we talk about
nutrient flush after a wildfire,
340
00:25:28,744 --> 00:25:31,573
or any kind of prescribed fire,
341
00:25:31,617 --> 00:25:33,401
what we're helping to do
is actually take
342
00:25:33,444 --> 00:25:35,708
the dead material
on the forest floor,
343
00:25:35,751 --> 00:25:38,972
when it burns,
it releases a flush of nutrients into the soil.
344
00:25:39,015 --> 00:25:43,629
And so what that does
is make it available for tons,
345
00:25:43,672 --> 00:25:48,895
thousands of wildflowers
and grasses and forbs that we're seeing here today.
346
00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:56,424
Normally these are really,
really tight and they hold on to their seeds.
347
00:25:56,467 --> 00:25:59,819
Um, but when they get
a little bit of heat to 'em,
348
00:25:59,862 --> 00:26:02,691
the cone opens up
and they throw their seeds.
349
00:26:02,735 --> 00:26:04,693
So you just start
walking through and you're just, like,
350
00:26:04,737 --> 00:26:06,260
"Gosh, they're just everywhere."
351
00:26:06,303 --> 00:26:09,219
There's literally
hundreds of 'em.
352
00:26:10,351 --> 00:26:11,526
Initially, when you
look out there,
353
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,746
you're like, "Oh,
it's another green plant."
354
00:26:13,789 --> 00:26:15,095
But it's actually a new tree.
355
00:26:17,053 --> 00:26:18,098
This is...
356
00:26:18,141 --> 00:26:20,143
This is what we really look at,
357
00:26:20,187 --> 00:26:23,016
from a rich
biodiversity perspective,
358
00:26:23,059 --> 00:26:25,584
is when you see something like
this come back.
359
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:28,412
Our interpretation of fire
360
00:26:28,456 --> 00:26:31,154
is that it has killed
these trees,
361
00:26:31,198 --> 00:26:34,767
but it also gave birth
to all these wildflowers.
362
00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:46,343
Here you go.
363
00:26:47,780 --> 00:26:49,085
Thank you.
364
00:26:49,129 --> 00:26:50,652
Burn boss,
go ahead for holding.
365
00:26:52,523 --> 00:26:54,613
Hey, how are things looking? How do you feel?
366
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:59,835
I think things are looking
really, really good and feeling very, very good.
367
00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:04,710
Okay. Good... Good.
368
00:27:04,753 --> 00:27:08,061
That was really good for me
to hear that you get told all the time,
369
00:27:08,104 --> 00:27:09,715
"Quit being so sensitive."
370
00:27:09,758 --> 00:27:12,108
If they say, like,
two female couplings don't go together.
371
00:27:12,152 --> 00:27:13,457
and I'm like,
well, they do in my house.
372
00:27:13,501 --> 00:27:15,634
- And they're, like...
- "Oh, she's a joke."
373
00:27:15,677 --> 00:27:17,418
She's setting us up
for a lawsuit.
374
00:27:17,461 --> 00:27:18,941
She's totally setting us up.
375
00:27:18,985 --> 00:27:20,813
It's like, I'm not
setting you up.
376
00:27:20,856 --> 00:27:22,728
- I was just trying to
joke with you. - Setting you up for a high-five.
377
00:27:22,771 --> 00:27:24,251
- That's great.
- Exactly.
378
00:27:24,294 --> 00:27:25,948
I was playing with you.
379
00:27:25,992 --> 00:27:28,168
After 14 years...
380
00:27:28,211 --> 00:27:29,473
- Yeah.
- It was all good.
381
00:27:29,517 --> 00:27:31,824
Now, all of a sudden,
it's not good anymore?
382
00:27:31,867 --> 00:27:33,913
I don't know what the rules are,
you changed them on me.
383
00:27:33,956 --> 00:27:36,132
You can't talk about
how people make you feel uncomfortable,
384
00:27:36,176 --> 00:27:39,092
'cause, then,
they feel uncomfortable for making you feel bad.
385
00:27:39,135 --> 00:27:41,094
- Yeah.
- So I was, like, you have to take it.
386
00:27:41,137 --> 00:27:43,183
- I wasn't taught that at all.
- Good.
387
00:27:43,226 --> 00:27:46,316
I was actually taught
it's perfectly okay
388
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:50,581
to have an open discussion
about things as long as you do it in a positive manner
389
00:27:50,625 --> 00:27:52,932
and you're not pointing
fingers of blame.
390
00:27:52,975 --> 00:27:56,457
What you're saying is,
you said a bad...
391
00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:59,678
You said a hurtful thing,
and I would like you to change it.
392
00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:02,942
And what they hear is,
I'm a shitty person,
393
00:28:02,985 --> 00:28:05,074
and they don't wanna feel
like a shitty person.
394
00:28:05,118 --> 00:28:06,989
But, sometimes,
you can't convince them
395
00:28:07,033 --> 00:28:08,687
that that's not
what you actually said.
396
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:11,777
Yep. I'm outnumbered and...
Wrong time and place.
397
00:28:11,820 --> 00:28:15,998
Yeah. And I think,
what you said,
398
00:28:16,042 --> 00:28:19,132
I don't feel respected
on a daily basis.
399
00:28:20,089 --> 00:28:21,700
That's pretty simple.
400
00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:26,269
I need to feel respected,
to be effective as a team member.
401
00:28:26,313 --> 00:28:31,100
But explaining
why I don't feel respected,
402
00:28:31,144 --> 00:28:34,277
that's compli...
That is not simple.
403
00:28:34,321 --> 00:28:38,717
Because you say, like,
"Well, my boss called me a girl."
404
00:28:40,675 --> 00:28:44,113
Okay... Brush it off, let it go.
405
00:28:44,157 --> 00:28:48,422
And I said, "Well,
my boss called me a girl 48 times this week."
406
00:28:48,465 --> 00:28:52,818
You know?
And I let it go 46 of those times,
407
00:28:52,861 --> 00:28:54,515
and then pointed it out twice,
408
00:28:54,558 --> 00:28:57,083
and now I'm difficult.
409
00:28:57,126 --> 00:29:00,086
That's not really simple
to explain to someone who hasn't...
410
00:29:00,129 --> 00:29:02,001
experienced that.
411
00:29:02,044 --> 00:29:03,654
And that's just one example.
412
00:29:05,352 --> 00:29:07,920
The amount of energy
that I spend
413
00:29:09,573 --> 00:29:13,273
regulating my emotional response
414
00:29:13,316 --> 00:29:18,234
to my work environment
is ludicrous.
415
00:29:18,278 --> 00:29:21,803
I mean, I spend
a lot of mental energy on the work itself.
416
00:29:21,847 --> 00:29:23,892
It's a dynamic,
risky environment
417
00:29:23,936 --> 00:29:26,939
that we're constantly
reassessing and evaluating.
418
00:29:26,982 --> 00:29:28,941
That itself is exhausting.
419
00:29:28,984 --> 00:29:33,075
To add on top of that,
being constantly aware
420
00:29:33,119 --> 00:29:35,948
of the fact
that I'm in an environment
421
00:29:35,991 --> 00:29:38,472
that's... Like,
a cultural environment
422
00:29:38,515 --> 00:29:42,128
that doesn't feel
totally welcoming
423
00:29:42,171 --> 00:29:45,000
and 100% safe.
424
00:29:45,044 --> 00:29:50,005
That's just an added
energy expenditure that I don't...
425
00:29:50,049 --> 00:29:53,226
I don't think
I have the capacity to keep doing that
426
00:29:53,269 --> 00:29:55,750
for the rest of my career.
427
00:30:20,383 --> 00:30:26,259
One of my fears is getting
to the end of my life
428
00:30:26,302 --> 00:30:30,176
and not thinking
I impacted anything.
429
00:30:35,268 --> 00:30:40,751
It scares me to think
that I could live for 90 years,
430
00:30:40,795 --> 00:30:43,667
thinking I'm doing cool stuff,
helping people,
431
00:30:43,711 --> 00:30:47,758
but in reality, my 90 years
could have never existed
432
00:30:47,802 --> 00:30:49,369
and the world would be
exactly the same.
433
00:30:51,501 --> 00:30:57,420
I feel some sort of duty
to like, leave fire culture better than I found it.
434
00:30:57,464 --> 00:30:59,988
For the people who've come
into fire after me.
435
00:31:02,382 --> 00:31:05,385
I mean, given that this is
the only grown-up job I've ever had,
436
00:31:05,428 --> 00:31:09,519
a lot of the people
I care about in in my life are firefighters,
437
00:31:09,563 --> 00:31:13,045
or involved in fire somehow.
So, like, I care about that world,
438
00:31:14,220 --> 00:31:17,571
and I care about that culture,
439
00:31:18,702 --> 00:31:21,183
because I know
how damaging it can be.
440
00:31:21,227 --> 00:31:24,056
And, like, if there's
something I can do
441
00:31:24,099 --> 00:31:27,494
to help make that better,
I want to keep doing that.
442
00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:47,818
So much of culture
is reinforced and perpetuated,
443
00:31:47,862 --> 00:31:51,474
not by active praise
of the things you're doing,
444
00:31:51,518 --> 00:31:53,694
but just by not getting
in trouble for them.
445
00:31:54,956 --> 00:31:57,350
Silent acceptance.
446
00:32:01,571 --> 00:32:04,618
It's really hard to make
a fish recognize water.
447
00:32:13,496 --> 00:32:15,716
- You're here!
- Hi, Lacey!
448
00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:17,413
Oh, so glad to see you.
449
00:32:17,457 --> 00:32:18,719
Thanks for having me.
450
00:32:18,762 --> 00:32:21,678
Yeah. Come on, let's eat.
451
00:32:21,722 --> 00:32:25,247
If you can
pull it away from sexual harassment
452
00:32:25,291 --> 00:32:30,165
and make the point that
it's about people in charge
453
00:32:30,209 --> 00:32:32,341
dominating people
that aren't in charge...
454
00:32:32,385 --> 00:32:35,475
Right. It's not a gender thing.
It's a power thing.
455
00:32:35,518 --> 00:32:40,480
Yes, and you can get every man
in the room to come back.
456
00:32:40,523 --> 00:32:43,004
Because the minute
you stand up there and say sexual harassment,
457
00:32:43,048 --> 00:32:46,965
the men that
aren't inflicting it or don't see it happening,
458
00:32:47,008 --> 00:32:50,055
- just tune out. They're like,
"Well, that's not..." - "That doesn't apply to me."
459
00:32:50,098 --> 00:32:52,927
If you can be like,
"Well, the same guy that's patting you on the ass,
460
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:54,146
and calling you cupcake,
461
00:32:54,189 --> 00:32:57,497
is also bullying some
soft-spoken dude,"
462
00:32:57,540 --> 00:32:59,455
he's not just picking
on you and me.
463
00:32:59,499 --> 00:33:02,806
He's picking on anybody
he thinks he can get the upper hand on.
464
00:33:02,850 --> 00:33:06,462
Did I tell you? I was
heavy equipment processing,
465
00:33:06,506 --> 00:33:10,379
and I had, like,
nine pieces of equipment,
466
00:33:10,423 --> 00:33:13,817
and I was finishing up my side
and I misspoke.
467
00:33:13,861 --> 00:33:15,689
I said 800 ton
instead of 80 ton.
468
00:33:15,732 --> 00:33:17,038
Mmm-hmm.
469
00:33:17,082 --> 00:33:18,866
And the dude from the Southeast
took my mistake,
470
00:33:18,909 --> 00:33:20,085
and he just magnified it.
471
00:33:20,128 --> 00:33:22,435
- Can't just move on.
- No.
472
00:33:22,478 --> 00:33:26,265
And, um, he was like,
"Whoa, that's like so and so many pounds."
473
00:33:27,570 --> 00:33:29,355
And I looked
right at him, and like,
474
00:33:29,398 --> 00:33:31,574
"That's some good math.
You're really good at math-ing, aren't you?
475
00:33:31,618 --> 00:33:33,228
"Your mom must be proud."
476
00:33:33,272 --> 00:33:36,362
As soon as I left,
he said to that group of dudes,
477
00:33:36,405 --> 00:33:38,320
he was like,
"Well, she could be a handful."
478
00:33:40,235 --> 00:33:42,063
What does that translate to?
479
00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:43,804
- "What a bitch!"
- Yeah.
480
00:33:43,847 --> 00:33:45,066
God, I hate it.
481
00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:47,112
- I hate that so much.
- And my buddy...
482
00:33:47,155 --> 00:33:48,809
My buddy stood there
and he's like,
483
00:33:48,852 --> 00:33:50,637
"No way. She takes care
of her own.
484
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,204
"You should have
seen her in Alaska.
485
00:33:52,247 --> 00:33:54,423
"She threatened to kick
a bus driver in the balls."
486
00:33:55,555 --> 00:33:57,122
And he basically
said to that dude,
487
00:33:57,165 --> 00:33:59,907
and to every other dude
in the group that,
488
00:34:00,647 --> 00:34:02,823
"No, she... She's cool."
489
00:34:02,866 --> 00:34:04,477
Mmm-hmm.
490
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,479
"That was
an appropriate response for your shitty comment."
491
00:34:06,522 --> 00:34:08,089
Pretty much is what he said.
492
00:34:08,133 --> 00:34:10,961
And then every dude
in the group, he said, "She's cool."
493
00:34:11,005 --> 00:34:14,269
And... And that's the way
I feel at work.
494
00:34:14,313 --> 00:34:16,837
- I feel so supported and...
- That's awesome.
495
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:18,708
I'm just another person.
496
00:34:18,752 --> 00:34:21,059
It kind of started for me,
I was talking to one of my supervisors,
497
00:34:21,102 --> 00:34:23,409
and he said he wouldn't
want his daughter
498
00:34:23,452 --> 00:34:26,499
to go into this line of work,
and I was like, "Why? It's been...
499
00:34:26,542 --> 00:34:29,067
"As a woman,
it's been the best thing that's ever happened to me."
500
00:34:29,110 --> 00:34:31,939
- Mmm-hmm.
- It's made me strong and confident.
501
00:34:31,982 --> 00:34:35,943
And best thing that's
ever happened to me, this job.
502
00:34:35,986 --> 00:34:38,989
And it was sad that
he said he didn't want his little girl doing it.
503
00:34:39,033 --> 00:34:41,557
Yeah. I've had men
that I worked with say that too, like,
504
00:34:41,601 --> 00:34:44,430
"If I had a daughter,
I'd never let her be a firefighter."
505
00:34:44,473 --> 00:34:46,475
But what I wonder is like...
506
00:34:46,519 --> 00:34:48,260
How can they...
507
00:34:48,303 --> 00:34:50,871
How can they acknowledge
that on one hand,
508
00:34:50,914 --> 00:34:54,179
that my work environment
is so shitty and toxic
509
00:34:54,222 --> 00:34:55,963
that I don't want
my family in it,
510
00:34:56,006 --> 00:34:59,140
but on the other hand,
not do anything about that?
511
00:34:59,184 --> 00:35:01,795
Like, how can they recognize
that it's awful,
512
00:35:02,665 --> 00:35:06,016
and also not try to change it?
513
00:35:06,060 --> 00:35:08,845
- Yeah, just sit back...
- Just sit back and go,
514
00:35:08,889 --> 00:35:10,630
"Oh, yeah. I just won't let
my daughter in."
515
00:35:10,673 --> 00:35:12,893
Because everybody
wants to fit in.
516
00:35:12,936 --> 00:35:17,202
And they don't want to be
"that dude" that stands up and causes a scene.
517
00:35:17,245 --> 00:35:18,377
- You know?
- I know.
518
00:35:20,683 --> 00:35:23,164
That's why I've just
resorted to being "that woman."
519
00:35:29,214 --> 00:35:31,216
What you reading there?
520
00:35:31,259 --> 00:35:32,521
It's called
Trust Exercise.
521
00:35:34,001 --> 00:35:35,220
I'm almost done with it.
522
00:35:35,263 --> 00:35:37,657
I'm still not quite sure
what it's about.
523
00:35:41,269 --> 00:35:43,184
It's fiction, like,
524
00:35:43,228 --> 00:35:46,318
then the narrator becomes
somebody who is in the first half of the story.
525
00:35:46,361 --> 00:35:48,929
- Mmm-hmm.
- Mmm-hmm.
526
00:35:48,972 --> 00:35:52,454
One of them, just, like,
wakes up, and turns out she was just, like,
527
00:35:52,498 --> 00:35:54,021
bitten by a bat, and had...
528
00:35:54,064 --> 00:35:55,588
...been in a coma.
529
00:35:57,067 --> 00:35:58,591
A bat, huh?
530
00:35:58,634 --> 00:36:01,681
That's how I see this ending.
And she's like, "Whoa!"
531
00:36:15,825 --> 00:36:17,740
All right, babe.
I got ten minutes left.
532
00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:21,179
I don't want to go to work.
533
00:36:22,005 --> 00:36:23,485
Don't. That's what they do.
534
00:36:27,228 --> 00:36:30,623
But then how are we gonna
afford a new battery for Karen?
535
00:36:30,666 --> 00:36:31,711
That's true.
536
00:36:34,540 --> 00:36:36,150
We can't deprive her.
537
00:36:38,718 --> 00:36:39,719
Okay.
538
00:36:52,253 --> 00:36:54,429
If I was born as a man,
539
00:36:54,473 --> 00:36:57,389
I think it just would have
been smoother.
540
00:36:59,869 --> 00:37:03,003
I grew up outside,
doing outdoor things.
541
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,962
I enjoy manual labor.
542
00:37:06,006 --> 00:37:07,486
Otherwise, I match
the demographic.
543
00:37:07,529 --> 00:37:10,097
I'm young, I'm white.
544
00:37:10,140 --> 00:37:14,101
I check a lot of the boxes
for, like, standard firefighter,
545
00:37:14,144 --> 00:37:17,974
but my being a woman,
like, puts me in this whole other category.
546
00:37:19,324 --> 00:37:21,543
I see men around me
in fire world
547
00:37:21,587 --> 00:37:24,198
just trash it out
and screw it up all the time
548
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:29,203
and everyone's like,
"Eh, didn't work. Try it again in a different way."
549
00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:32,554
But if I do the same thing,
if I don't, like, calculate exactly
550
00:37:32,598 --> 00:37:34,643
how I'm going to
play this game,
551
00:37:34,687 --> 00:37:36,863
and I just try stuff
and then it doesn't work,
552
00:37:36,906 --> 00:37:39,648
then they're like,
"Hmm, see, women just,
553
00:37:39,692 --> 00:37:41,389
"like, aren't really
cut out for this."
554
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,959
I just...
555
00:37:46,002 --> 00:37:52,618
I don't think I would be
at this level of tired after only ten seasons.
556
00:38:14,509 --> 00:38:17,382
I can't tell you
how many times I wanted to back out.
557
00:38:19,035 --> 00:38:20,515
You just don't wake up one day
and just go,
558
00:38:20,559 --> 00:38:23,344
"I think I want to go testify
in front of Congress
559
00:38:23,388 --> 00:38:26,216
"about these egregious acts
that have happened to me in the past."
560
00:38:30,873 --> 00:38:35,095
I was just having, you know,
huge reservations, and really consternating
561
00:38:35,138 --> 00:38:38,751
over whether or not
this was something that I should do.
562
00:38:40,492 --> 00:38:44,452
I felt like the mere fact
that I was watching this happen
563
00:38:44,496 --> 00:38:47,847
to, uh, more and more women,
564
00:38:47,890 --> 00:38:49,979
and even to some degree,
some men,
565
00:38:50,023 --> 00:38:53,113
then I think
you have to ask yourself, "Do we all stay silent?"
566
00:38:55,071 --> 00:38:57,030
That, I think,
was the tipping point.
567
00:38:59,293 --> 00:39:01,513
But the day that
I got on the plane,
568
00:39:01,556 --> 00:39:07,780
I sat up close to
where the door was, and I kept thinking,
569
00:39:07,823 --> 00:39:09,695
"I still have a chance
to get off the plane.
570
00:39:09,738 --> 00:39:11,523
"I still have a chance.
Still have a chance."
571
00:39:16,266 --> 00:39:19,879
And as soon as the door shut,
I just kind of closed my eyes
572
00:39:19,922 --> 00:39:22,142
and just had to take
a deep breath,
573
00:39:22,185 --> 00:39:24,753
and as the plane started
pulling back from the gate,
574
00:39:24,797 --> 00:39:30,150
that's when I think this
irreversible journey really began.
575
00:39:32,935 --> 00:39:37,984
Every state I flew over,
you know, was just this flood of memories
576
00:39:38,027 --> 00:39:40,682
about all these people
that have supported me.
577
00:39:40,726 --> 00:39:44,599
The men that have been
super supportive of me over the years
578
00:39:44,643 --> 00:39:48,081
and several women
who continued to support me.
579
00:39:50,736 --> 00:39:54,348
I felt like, "Am I putting
all of this at risk?"
580
00:39:57,482 --> 00:40:01,660
Female
Forest Service employees, many of them firefighters,
581
00:40:01,703 --> 00:40:04,445
have complained about
mistreatment for decades.
582
00:40:04,489 --> 00:40:06,404
Numerous park employees
from multiple parks
583
00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:09,058
have contacted the committee
to describe patterns
584
00:40:09,102 --> 00:40:11,104
of misconduct
at the Park Service.
585
00:40:11,147 --> 00:40:13,323
It was a similar report
16 years ago.
586
00:40:13,367 --> 00:40:15,456
The task force concluded,
and I quote,
587
00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:20,200
"It is critical for
the National Park Service to show a sense of urgency
588
00:40:20,243 --> 00:40:24,204
"in ensuring that all employees
are working in an environment
589
00:40:24,247 --> 00:40:26,685
"free from unlawful harassment."
590
00:40:26,728 --> 00:40:29,818
Were any of its
recommendations implemented?
591
00:40:29,862 --> 00:40:33,866
Uh, no, they were not,
as far as I can ever figure out.
592
00:40:33,909 --> 00:40:36,738
So... So we're back here again
16 years later.
593
00:40:36,782 --> 00:40:40,133
Yeah, it's a very
regrettable action that did not occur.
594
00:40:40,176 --> 00:40:42,701
I felt it was really,
really important,
595
00:40:42,744 --> 00:40:45,138
because I've been involved
in this for so long
596
00:40:45,181 --> 00:40:51,013
that, somehow, I...
I had to have not just my voice heard,
597
00:40:51,057 --> 00:40:55,365
but there were so many
other people that were also feeling the same way,
598
00:40:55,409 --> 00:41:00,414
and they flat out said,
"There's just no way I can come forward and say anything."
599
00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:02,764
And so, a lot of people
will continue to ask,
600
00:41:02,808 --> 00:41:04,549
you know, why didn't you
come forward?
601
00:41:04,592 --> 00:41:06,246
How come now you're reporting?
602
00:41:06,289 --> 00:41:09,771
Those are questions
that people constantly ask,
603
00:41:09,815 --> 00:41:14,820
because they don't understand
how difficult it is to speak up,
604
00:41:14,863 --> 00:41:18,171
and speak the truth
about these things that have happened,
605
00:41:18,214 --> 00:41:22,131
because of the dire consequences
most women face
606
00:41:22,175 --> 00:41:26,135
when you do speak up
and are honest about the things
607
00:41:26,179 --> 00:41:28,094
that have happened to you
in the past.
608
00:41:28,137 --> 00:41:29,878
My name is Kelly Martin,
and I am the Chief
609
00:41:29,922 --> 00:41:32,881
of Fire and Aviation Management
at Yosemite National Park.
610
00:41:32,925 --> 00:41:35,797
I've been in my current position
for over ten years.
611
00:41:35,841 --> 00:41:38,408
I am here before you today
to tell you my story,
612
00:41:38,452 --> 00:41:40,106
but more importantly,
to provide testimony
613
00:41:40,149 --> 00:41:42,543
regarding the dark clouds
of misconduct
614
00:41:42,587 --> 00:41:45,111
that remains elusive
from public view.
615
00:41:45,154 --> 00:41:49,202
I felt like I have a voice.
I can use my voice.
616
00:41:49,245 --> 00:41:50,638
This is the United States.
617
00:41:50,682 --> 00:41:54,773
We do have the ability
to use our voice
618
00:41:54,816 --> 00:41:59,081
for the betterment
of this generation and the next generation.
619
00:41:59,125 --> 00:42:02,302
Imagine for one minute,
being 20-something again.
620
00:42:02,345 --> 00:42:06,088
We have an idealistic view
of the world that is equitable and just.
621
00:42:06,132 --> 00:42:08,482
My idealist view
was soon shattered
622
00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:13,922
when I became victim
of sexual harassment not once, but three times.
623
00:42:13,966 --> 00:42:18,492
One of my perpetrators was
repeatedly caught engaging in voyeuristic behavior,
624
00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:21,364
all the while
receiving promotions within the National Park Service
625
00:42:21,408 --> 00:42:24,542
until his recent retirement
as Deputy Superintendent.
626
00:42:26,195 --> 00:42:28,633
This is very difficult
to sit before you today.
627
00:42:28,676 --> 00:42:32,201
I'm not boastful of the history
of my sexual harassment experiences.
628
00:42:32,245 --> 00:42:35,378
As a matter of fact,
this is the first time I have come out publicly
629
00:42:35,422 --> 00:42:38,294
to describe the painful scars
of my past
630
00:42:38,338 --> 00:42:40,949
in a hopeful effort to eliminate
these kinds of experiences
631
00:42:40,993 --> 00:42:44,431
from happening to young women
entering our workforce today.
632
00:42:44,474 --> 00:42:47,695
It's almost as it's accepted
that men can be given
633
00:42:47,739 --> 00:42:51,003
the benefit of the doubt,
and women are doubted.
634
00:42:51,046 --> 00:42:53,309
As I walk through
my 32 years of service,
635
00:42:53,353 --> 00:42:57,400
I want to leave here today with
a strong conviction of hope.
636
00:42:57,444 --> 00:43:00,490
Hope for the future generation
of the Park Service conservation leaders
637
00:43:00,534 --> 00:43:04,233
that will not know
what it is like to experience sexual harassment,
638
00:43:04,277 --> 00:43:06,409
gender and racial
discrimination,
639
00:43:06,453 --> 00:43:09,499
sexism and hostile
work environments.
640
00:43:09,543 --> 00:43:11,632
We're going to be watching
the National Park Service,
641
00:43:11,676 --> 00:43:13,634
and the way
Ms. Martin is treated,
642
00:43:13,678 --> 00:43:16,419
and other whistleblowers
are treated
643
00:43:16,463 --> 00:43:20,859
as a consequence of
their bringing these allegations forward.
644
00:43:20,902 --> 00:43:23,992
Uh, it should not
be unaddressed,
645
00:43:24,036 --> 00:43:29,084
and, uh, it has been
inadequately addressed.
646
00:43:29,128 --> 00:43:30,782
We all long for a day
647
00:43:30,825 --> 00:43:34,176
that we don't have to take
these extreme measures
648
00:43:34,220 --> 00:43:35,700
to be heard and believed.
649
00:43:58,679 --> 00:44:03,466
A hell of a job
for just two people in a few hours,
650
00:44:03,510 --> 00:44:06,556
having to drag trees
quite a ways.
651
00:44:07,819 --> 00:44:08,950
But,
652
00:44:09,734 --> 00:44:10,691
got it done.
653
00:44:11,866 --> 00:44:13,868
We're making a log deck
654
00:44:13,912 --> 00:44:15,565
for the helicopter to land on.
655
00:44:16,741 --> 00:44:17,959
Might not be the prettiest.
656
00:44:19,047 --> 00:44:20,048
But it's a log deck.
657
00:44:26,011 --> 00:44:29,405
The only wildlife we've seen
while we were down here,
658
00:44:30,450 --> 00:44:32,234
are all the mosquitoes.
659
00:44:33,105 --> 00:44:35,585
And other flying pests.
660
00:44:35,629 --> 00:44:38,676
Hopefully pilot
doesn't have a problem with it,
661
00:44:40,852 --> 00:44:43,506
and we won't have to come back
and fix it later.
662
00:44:51,950 --> 00:44:58,086
Some people can't imagine
using the bathroom anywhere but inside a building,
663
00:44:58,957 --> 00:45:00,654
on porcelain.
664
00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:03,483
But come on,
it's way better out here.
665
00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:18,672
So we were on our way to Helena.
666
00:45:18,716 --> 00:45:23,372
And got diverted
to a fire up in the Bridgers. A lightning strike.
667
00:45:23,416 --> 00:45:27,289
As you can see,
there's the part of the tree that got struck.
668
00:45:28,595 --> 00:45:29,727
You can see it...
669
00:45:30,684 --> 00:45:32,033
kind of exploded into bits.
670
00:45:33,469 --> 00:45:34,644
Not tall anymore.
671
00:45:36,298 --> 00:45:37,691
And there's
pieces of it hanging
672
00:45:38,823 --> 00:45:39,954
up in that other tree.
673
00:45:48,093 --> 00:45:52,532
It's these kind of fires
that really split my mind
674
00:45:52,575 --> 00:45:58,756
about loving my job
and not make me feel conflicted.
675
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,151
On the one hand,
676
00:46:03,195 --> 00:46:05,240
what an awesome place
to hang out.
677
00:46:07,460 --> 00:46:09,897
No people, just hanging out
in the woods.
678
00:46:09,941 --> 00:46:11,638
Super pretty.
679
00:46:11,681 --> 00:46:13,901
Gonna camp for a night or two.
680
00:46:13,945 --> 00:46:15,381
Can't complain about that.
681
00:46:17,035 --> 00:46:20,734
On the other hand,
this was a naturally ignited fire,
682
00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:21,953
it's a lightning strike.
683
00:46:23,606 --> 00:46:28,307
And it wasn't really
doing much, skunking around.
684
00:46:30,352 --> 00:46:31,919
Hard to tell how steep it is.
685
00:46:33,355 --> 00:46:36,489
Uh, this is basically
a 45-degree angle here.
686
00:46:37,403 --> 00:46:38,926
So it's not a very big spot,
687
00:46:38,970 --> 00:46:41,276
should be pretty easy
to put out,
688
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:45,454
except that the duff
is super thick,
689
00:46:45,498 --> 00:46:48,109
and even digging down, like,
690
00:46:48,153 --> 00:46:52,505
couldn't get to dirt yet,
this is still mostly duff...
691
00:46:52,548 --> 00:46:57,597
So this is going to be
a slow mop-up show.
692
00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:00,687
Basically...
picking everything up by hand.
693
00:47:02,471 --> 00:47:03,821
Making sure it's cold.
694
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,608
Should I be out here
putting this fire out?
695
00:47:09,783 --> 00:47:11,785
You know, um...
696
00:47:13,961 --> 00:47:19,140
As I learn more about fire
and fire science and fire ecology,
697
00:47:19,184 --> 00:47:24,580
and how important fire is to,
you know, the well being of an ecosystem.
698
00:47:24,624 --> 00:47:29,150
I feel less like I'm taking
appropriate actions
699
00:47:29,194 --> 00:47:30,325
as a steward of the land.
700
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:36,549
Sometimes, I feel like
I'm getting paid to do things
701
00:47:36,592 --> 00:47:40,335
that aren't in
the best interest of the ecosystem in question.
702
00:47:45,514 --> 00:47:47,647
I don't know.
703
00:47:47,690 --> 00:47:51,216
So I just sit here
and eat my Snickers and think about it.
704
00:47:59,311 --> 00:48:01,748
Nothing better than a Snickers
705
00:48:01,791 --> 00:48:04,142
that has melted
706
00:48:04,185 --> 00:48:07,406
and resolidified
a handful of times in your backpack.
707
00:48:31,952 --> 00:48:33,998
Do you guys, uh,
do you guys want a pancake?
708
00:48:34,999 --> 00:48:36,348
Ready for a pancake?
709
00:48:45,357 --> 00:48:48,099
David, do you want one?
Are you sure?
710
00:48:48,142 --> 00:48:49,970
- No, no. Yeah, I'm done.
- Okay.
711
00:48:51,363 --> 00:48:53,060
You're anti-pancake?
712
00:48:53,104 --> 00:48:55,280
You a huge fan
of pancakes? - Yeah.
713
00:48:55,323 --> 00:48:58,283
So you're not biased.
You don't have any implicit bias
714
00:48:58,326 --> 00:48:59,675
- against pancakes.
- No implicit bias.
715
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:00,938
Copy that.
716
00:49:02,287 --> 00:49:03,984
We've been talking
a lot about implicit bias.
717
00:49:05,159 --> 00:49:06,334
Just want to make sure.
718
00:49:10,382 --> 00:49:12,166
There's one thing,
you know, that we can do
719
00:49:12,210 --> 00:49:14,690
is kind of, you know,
there's a little bit of humor here.
720
00:49:14,734 --> 00:49:16,475
We can laugh about ourselves.
721
00:49:18,390 --> 00:49:20,348
Yosemite conditions for today.
722
00:49:20,392 --> 00:49:25,266
Sunny, maximum 64 to 69,
8,000 feet, 53 to 58.
723
00:49:25,310 --> 00:49:27,094
The thing
for me was, um,
724
00:49:27,138 --> 00:49:29,401
with you getting here
this weekend was
725
00:49:29,444 --> 00:49:33,971
thinking about the success
that we've had for the last three events.
726
00:49:34,014 --> 00:49:37,539
That third WTREX
really felt like...
727
00:49:37,583 --> 00:49:40,760
- It really solidified
a lot of things. - Yeah.
728
00:49:40,803 --> 00:49:43,763
And there was
new people there from
729
00:49:43,806 --> 00:49:47,071
reaches of
the Nature Conservancy,
730
00:49:47,114 --> 00:49:49,464
National Park Service,
Forest Service,
731
00:49:49,508 --> 00:49:51,684
uh, NGOs that are like,
732
00:49:51,727 --> 00:49:54,992
"I'm kind of really interested
in attending and helping."
733
00:49:55,035 --> 00:49:58,430
And then, like I think,
for me, that was, like, the tipping point for...
734
00:49:58,473 --> 00:50:01,520
We're on to something that
that I don't believe
735
00:50:01,563 --> 00:50:03,348
anybody else is really doing.
736
00:50:03,391 --> 00:50:04,740
- Mmm-hmm.
- And so...
737
00:50:04,784 --> 00:50:06,351
Now what does that look like?
738
00:50:06,394 --> 00:50:09,310
You know,
for the next three years or the next five years.
739
00:50:09,354 --> 00:50:11,747
And this could go any...
Any number of places.
740
00:50:11,791 --> 00:50:13,488
That's really exciting.
741
00:50:13,532 --> 00:50:17,710
Like, it feels like we've taken
kind of a slow road with WTREX
742
00:50:17,753 --> 00:50:20,060
and just doing
one event per year...
743
00:50:20,104 --> 00:50:22,410
I think our pace has been
perfect actually,
744
00:50:22,454 --> 00:50:25,022
because we kind of needed
to have that success.
745
00:50:25,065 --> 00:50:27,198
- Mmm-hmm.
- And to show that we could do it,
746
00:50:27,241 --> 00:50:31,071
and to build out our team
and feel smooth,
747
00:50:31,115 --> 00:50:32,899
like a smooth machine together.
748
00:50:32,942 --> 00:50:34,727
And now
we're at a perfect point
749
00:50:34,770 --> 00:50:38,600
to broaden it out, and...
750
00:50:38,644 --> 00:50:42,343
I think any of us
coming up through the ranks,
751
00:50:42,387 --> 00:50:45,172
think about, like,
what kind of opportunities
752
00:50:45,216 --> 00:50:48,436
- do we really have
to build our competency? - Yeah.
753
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:52,962
Right, there's confidence
in what we love and what we wanna do,
754
00:50:53,006 --> 00:50:56,705
but where are the opportunities
to actually really build
755
00:50:56,749 --> 00:50:59,404
- our physical skill set?
- Yeah.
756
00:50:59,447 --> 00:51:03,234
Yeah, the way I think
about WTREX moving forward
757
00:51:03,277 --> 00:51:05,627
is that we do diversify
and think about
758
00:51:05,671 --> 00:51:09,109
where are those bottlenecks
for women in fire,
759
00:51:09,153 --> 00:51:11,068
and how can we create
those opportunities.
760
00:51:11,111 --> 00:51:16,421
Leadership training, um,
you know, the diversity and inclusion training...
761
00:51:17,770 --> 00:51:21,121
We could even do short modules
on burn planning,
762
00:51:21,165 --> 00:51:23,776
and, you know, some of
the ecological concepts.
763
00:51:23,819 --> 00:51:27,258
I don't know. I think the sky
is the limit, kind of...
764
00:51:27,301 --> 00:51:30,522
We think about women
in their 20s, their 30s, their 40s,
765
00:51:30,565 --> 00:51:32,176
as they're moving
through their career,
766
00:51:32,219 --> 00:51:34,003
we're not interested
in just getting more women in fire,
767
00:51:34,047 --> 00:51:36,832
but we're interested
in what does it take to...
768
00:51:36,876 --> 00:51:39,661
To keep them in fire,
if that's where they want to be,
769
00:51:39,705 --> 00:51:43,274
and to advance them
and give them power
770
00:51:43,317 --> 00:51:45,493
and leadership capabilities
and stuff.
771
00:51:45,537 --> 00:51:47,321
We really need to...
772
00:51:47,365 --> 00:51:51,282
You know, we understand
what some of those obstacles are in WTREX,
773
00:51:51,325 --> 00:51:55,242
but as federal agencies,
we really, we've got a lot of work to do still.
774
00:51:55,286 --> 00:51:57,505
You know, both from
scaling up the good fire
775
00:51:57,549 --> 00:52:00,595
as well as how do
we empower women
776
00:52:00,639 --> 00:52:03,207
in leadership positions
in wildland fire?
777
00:52:03,250 --> 00:52:06,862
And there's just...
There's nothing else, like, out there like this.
778
00:52:06,906 --> 00:52:10,518
And so that, for me,
is really exciting to think about,
779
00:52:10,562 --> 00:52:14,087
how I can put
my two loves and passion
780
00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:16,263
about gender equity
781
00:52:16,307 --> 00:52:18,613
and more good fire
on the landscape.
782
00:52:18,657 --> 00:52:20,659
- This is just like
the perfect combination. - Yeah.
783
00:52:21,442 --> 00:52:23,009
I'm grateful that we met.
784
00:52:23,052 --> 00:52:25,359
- Yeah, well...
- I'm glad you came up.
785
00:52:25,403 --> 00:52:26,752
I'm so glad.
786
00:52:26,795 --> 00:52:29,102
I think we have a really
strong future ahead of us.
787
00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:32,061
Oh, yeah, with a tremendous
amount of, you know, work.
788
00:52:32,105 --> 00:52:34,499
And so I think...
Thinking about that, too,
789
00:52:34,542 --> 00:52:38,372
is, it's like, "Ooh,
I'm sort of kind of retired." -
790
00:52:38,416 --> 00:52:41,680
So I'm excited about
that type of work on the outside
791
00:52:41,723 --> 00:52:43,072
in retirement as well.
792
00:52:44,639 --> 00:52:46,511
You're good.
Don't worry.
793
00:52:48,077 --> 00:52:49,296
Oh, okay, okay.
794
00:52:49,340 --> 00:52:50,993
- That's just the beginning.
- Got you there.
795
00:52:51,037 --> 00:52:52,908
Gotcha, gotcha.
796
00:52:52,952 --> 00:52:54,345
Yeah, yeah.
797
00:53:02,527 --> 00:53:04,137
Coffee, friends.
798
00:53:05,921 --> 00:53:07,358
What else could you ask for?
799
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:09,708
My hubby.
800
00:53:15,583 --> 00:53:17,106
This'll last about one hour.
801
00:53:20,414 --> 00:53:22,068
I was telling her,
this is really...
802
00:53:23,591 --> 00:53:25,506
Nobody waters
the grass around here.
803
00:53:25,550 --> 00:53:28,248
This place is really dusty
and dirty...
804
00:53:28,292 --> 00:53:30,163
It kind of goes back
to the "opposites attract."
805
00:53:30,772 --> 00:53:32,209
I'm Mr. Clean.
806
00:53:34,298 --> 00:53:37,475
I met Kelly in Moab, Utah.
807
00:53:37,518 --> 00:53:39,825
She knew one of
the people on the team,
808
00:53:39,868 --> 00:53:43,568
and he called her up
and said, "Hey, we're gonna go down and have a beer."
809
00:53:43,611 --> 00:53:44,917
So that's where
I first met her.
810
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:47,789
From then on,
teams that went together,
811
00:53:47,833 --> 00:53:50,096
and we became
part of a fire team,
812
00:53:50,139 --> 00:53:53,142
and from there on,
it's just kind of like,
813
00:53:53,186 --> 00:53:56,320
you know, good people
attract good people.
814
00:53:56,363 --> 00:53:59,801
I just remember this one time
we were on a fire out at Battle Mountain,
815
00:53:59,845 --> 00:54:01,847
and this was before
we were together,
816
00:54:02,848 --> 00:54:04,980
and we... She had a broken arm.
817
00:54:05,764 --> 00:54:06,982
Fell off a horse.
818
00:54:07,026 --> 00:54:08,506
A Forest Service horse.
819
00:54:08,549 --> 00:54:11,900
She... She says,
"You sure you want me on team?
820
00:54:11,944 --> 00:54:13,467
"I've got...
My arm's in a cast."
821
00:54:13,511 --> 00:54:17,384
I go, "Well, can you push
the mic on a radio?
822
00:54:17,428 --> 00:54:21,823
"And can you walk up a hill
and look at what's going on and keep track of stuff?"
823
00:54:21,867 --> 00:54:24,391
And she goes, "Yeah."
I says, "Well, come to the fire."
824
00:54:25,740 --> 00:54:27,829
She's a tough woman.
825
00:54:27,873 --> 00:54:30,354
In the agencies, all of them,
826
00:54:30,397 --> 00:54:32,660
the tough women
tend to survive it,
827
00:54:32,704 --> 00:54:36,360
um, because
it's not an easy road.
828
00:54:36,403 --> 00:54:39,580
One of the worst things
that ever happened was, um...
829
00:54:39,624 --> 00:54:41,843
And I didn't hear about this
for like two months...
830
00:54:41,887 --> 00:54:43,323
One of the women
on the fire crew,
831
00:54:43,367 --> 00:54:45,760
she used one of
the BLM bathrooms
832
00:54:45,804 --> 00:54:49,938
and the fire crew decided
they were gonna tape her in there with duct tape.
833
00:54:51,723 --> 00:54:55,683
And so, Kelly told me one day
she's going to go to Congress
834
00:54:55,727 --> 00:54:58,860
and she was working with
staffers from both sides.
835
00:54:58,904 --> 00:55:01,298
You know,
she's always the hero.
836
00:55:01,341 --> 00:55:04,344
When she decided
to retire early,
837
00:55:04,388 --> 00:55:10,437
an individual
sent a note that said that, "Thank God she's gone,
838
00:55:10,481 --> 00:55:15,355
"and now we can get to
a higher level of management for that agency."
839
00:55:15,399 --> 00:55:18,097
And I'm going,
"You got to be kidding me."
840
00:55:18,140 --> 00:55:21,361
You can't believe
what she went through.
841
00:55:21,405 --> 00:55:25,887
It would take three hours
to tell you all the crap that she had to go through.
842
00:55:25,931 --> 00:55:28,194
Drugs on the crew,
843
00:55:28,237 --> 00:55:30,805
fights and people getting hurt,
and they're covering it up
844
00:55:30,849 --> 00:55:32,807
and car wrecks
and smoking dope
845
00:55:32,851 --> 00:55:34,374
and driving
government vehicles.
846
00:55:34,418 --> 00:55:36,594
You cannot believe
what she went through.
847
00:55:36,637 --> 00:55:38,987
So, tonight
is a celebration.
848
00:55:39,031 --> 00:55:42,513
We've got lots and lots of food,
So let's go ahead and eat,
849
00:55:42,556 --> 00:55:45,646
but there are a couple of people
I really want to introduce.
850
00:55:45,690 --> 00:55:47,169
My mom, Mickey Martin.
851
00:55:49,955 --> 00:55:51,609
- Mom!
- From Illinois.
852
00:55:51,652 --> 00:55:53,959
Yep,
she flew in from... from Illinois.
853
00:55:54,002 --> 00:55:57,876
It's just really
a neat opportunity to be with all of you here tonight.
854
00:55:57,919 --> 00:55:59,878
- So...
- Whoo-hoo!
855
00:55:59,921 --> 00:56:02,489
And I bet you there's gonna be
people kind of showing up from time to time.
856
00:56:02,533 --> 00:56:07,015
So please introduce yourself
to each other, and let's eat.
857
00:56:07,059 --> 00:56:08,234
- Okay!
- Let's do it!
858
00:56:09,714 --> 00:56:14,545
I met Kelly
at the first WTREX, 2016.
859
00:56:14,588 --> 00:56:17,548
And I had no idea
who she was before that.
860
00:56:17,591 --> 00:56:20,333
But I read through
her testimony and watched the video.
861
00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,422
And then I was like,
"Hoy shit, I'm gonna meet this woman.
862
00:56:22,466 --> 00:56:23,641
"That's pretty cool."
863
00:56:23,684 --> 00:56:26,383
You know... Here she is,
864
00:56:26,426 --> 00:56:29,473
talking about the hard things
in front of a huge audience,
865
00:56:29,516 --> 00:56:33,128
then met her at WTREX.
And... And it was awesome.
866
00:56:33,172 --> 00:56:34,478
You know, and she's been...
867
00:56:34,521 --> 00:56:36,741
She's been great to work with.
868
00:56:36,784 --> 00:56:38,873
Branches over there
can help build.
869
00:56:38,917 --> 00:56:43,269
And it was... You know,
she's just so passionate
870
00:56:43,312 --> 00:56:47,099
about fire and what it means
871
00:56:47,142 --> 00:56:49,362
and how
we should be treating it
872
00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:51,408
and how it should be
used on the land.
873
00:56:51,451 --> 00:56:55,324
And you know, it feels...
874
00:56:55,368 --> 00:56:59,633
It feels good to be
around somebody who is so...
875
00:56:59,677 --> 00:57:02,680
sure of what they believe.
876
00:57:02,723 --> 00:57:04,551
You know, like...
877
00:57:04,595 --> 00:57:08,381
She's had people
telling her not to believe what she believes
878
00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:10,688
for the past 35 years,
and she's like,
879
00:57:10,731 --> 00:57:13,473
"Well, fuck it. This is still
what I believe, because it's that important to me."
880
00:57:13,517 --> 00:57:15,649
And, like, that feels
good to know
881
00:57:15,693 --> 00:57:18,609
that there are
people like that.
882
00:57:18,652 --> 00:57:23,091
Um... Yeah,
I think she's awesome. She's really wonderful.
883
00:57:29,184 --> 00:57:31,491
She gave her life
and her heart to that place.
884
00:57:31,535 --> 00:57:33,232
And I'll never support
that program again
885
00:57:33,275 --> 00:57:36,148
just because I know
exactly the depths of that.
886
00:57:37,628 --> 00:57:40,457
She was working
at 10:30 at night.
887
00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:42,850
Sometimes she'd work
till 2:00 in the morning,
888
00:57:42,894 --> 00:57:44,809
to get the fire plans done.
889
00:57:44,852 --> 00:57:49,683
And, um, she was,
I would say, 90% successful.
890
00:57:49,727 --> 00:57:52,469
But there was a lot of people
that didn't like her
891
00:57:52,512 --> 00:57:54,949
because she tried
to clean up the shop.
892
00:57:56,821 --> 00:58:00,912
Yeah. I have to tell you
that seeing her testify
893
00:58:00,955 --> 00:58:02,957
was the most awesome experience,
894
00:58:03,001 --> 00:58:09,486
and to know that she did that
in September '16, 2016.
895
00:58:09,529 --> 00:58:12,793
She led the pack
and wound up onTime magazine
896
00:58:12,837 --> 00:58:16,754
as one of the silence breakers,
which was just absolutely amazing.
897
00:58:16,797 --> 00:58:18,625
I must have run
to every gas station,
898
00:58:18,669 --> 00:58:21,193
every grocery store, and bought
every Timemagazine
899
00:58:21,236 --> 00:58:23,717
I could get my hands on
that night, because I thought
900
00:58:23,761 --> 00:58:25,980
"They're gonna be gone
if I wait till tomorrow."
901
00:58:27,155 --> 00:58:28,896
- Thanks, Mom.
- Thank you, honey.
902
00:58:31,595 --> 00:58:33,901
Somebody...
Somebody had to speak up.
903
00:58:33,945 --> 00:58:36,991
And I think our agency,
the National Park Service,
904
00:58:37,035 --> 00:58:41,387
is a better agency
because some of the things that we've been able to address.
905
00:58:41,430 --> 00:58:43,476
I feel like things are
starting to change.
906
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:47,393
I know a lot of you don't...
Some people really, uh,
907
00:58:47,436 --> 00:58:49,308
have really resented
what I've done.
908
00:58:49,351 --> 00:58:52,398
Um, I would have never chosen
to do anything like this,
909
00:58:52,441 --> 00:58:56,924
but I really, honestly felt like
our agency deserves way better.
910
00:58:56,968 --> 00:58:59,274
And I know we have really,
really good people here.
911
00:58:59,318 --> 00:59:03,148
So, for all of you
that are here with me tonight,
912
00:59:03,191 --> 00:59:06,194
I do know that I've done
the right thing, I hope,
913
00:59:06,238 --> 00:59:07,631
and that I'm still...
914
00:59:13,419 --> 00:59:14,725
She was never respected.
915
00:59:16,248 --> 00:59:18,032
Because she was an outsider,
916
00:59:18,076 --> 00:59:19,817
and I feel because
she was a woman.
917
00:59:19,860 --> 00:59:21,558
Because they'd never
had a woman FMO.
918
00:59:24,822 --> 00:59:27,520
I see a lot.
So, I love it. It was Kelly that...
919
00:59:27,564 --> 00:59:30,001
We were sitting here
at Christmas time...
920
00:59:31,089 --> 00:59:32,786
Oh, boy, 2013,
921
00:59:32,830 --> 00:59:34,701
and she just said to me,
she goes,
922
00:59:34,745 --> 00:59:37,225
"What are you waiting for?"
And I said, like, "You're right, you know."
923
00:59:37,269 --> 00:59:38,879
- "Let's do it."
- And in the next month,
924
00:59:38,923 --> 00:59:41,926
- I was enrolled in TREX,
so, yeah. - Yeah, awesome.
925
00:59:41,969 --> 00:59:45,712
Love Kelly. She's a little
special person to me. I love her to death.
926
01:00:05,819 --> 01:00:07,647
And you...
You started this.
927
01:00:07,691 --> 01:00:09,997
No, you're the one
with the stick. You started it.
928
01:00:10,041 --> 01:00:12,826
- I was fixing it
and then you undid my work. - Ah! Ah!
929
01:00:12,870 --> 01:00:14,436
No, I was working with you.
930
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:15,742
No, you undid it.
931
01:00:15,786 --> 01:00:17,701
You need to learn to work
with other people.
932
01:00:17,744 --> 01:00:20,225
You need to learn
to mind your own business.
933
01:00:20,268 --> 01:00:22,531
The fire is my business,
I split all that wood.
934
01:00:22,575 --> 01:00:24,403
Only after you
messed up whatever...
935
01:00:24,446 --> 01:00:25,752
Nah, I split the wood.
936
01:00:30,409 --> 01:00:32,324
Do you have
this look on camera?
937
01:00:32,367 --> 01:00:33,368
I do.
938
01:00:35,501 --> 01:00:37,808
Oh, and there's ice
in his whiskey. That's why.
939
01:00:37,851 --> 01:00:40,158
No, it's not me.
940
01:00:40,201 --> 01:00:42,769
I'm sure you can find
more things to dislike about me.
941
01:00:42,813 --> 01:00:44,684
I can. How long do we have?
942
01:00:44,728 --> 01:00:46,904
- Probably a couple of hours.
- Okay, great.
943
01:00:46,947 --> 01:00:48,166
- We'll work on it.
- Yeah. No rush.
944
01:00:48,209 --> 01:00:49,689
We'll work on... No, I'm...
945
01:00:49,733 --> 01:00:51,560
- Take your time.
- I'll let it marinate.
946
01:00:51,604 --> 01:00:52,649
Take your time.
947
01:01:18,413 --> 01:01:21,199
I could turn on my light,
but there's enough around...
948
01:01:25,856 --> 01:01:29,120
There's no one out.
So, we're it.
949
01:01:29,163 --> 01:01:34,212
There's no one here
and it's incredibly powerful.
950
01:01:34,255 --> 01:01:36,214
Uh, there's just nothing
like it.
951
01:01:36,257 --> 01:01:38,825
There's very, very few people
that actually experience the park like this.
952
01:01:38,869 --> 01:01:42,960
So, to me,
it's a lot more intense and a lot more fulfilling
953
01:01:43,003 --> 01:01:47,094
than to be out here
when there's a thousand people on this trail.
954
01:01:47,138 --> 01:01:48,879
So, let's go have a good time,
955
01:01:48,922 --> 01:01:51,142
and we will drink some whiskey
when we get to the beach.
956
01:01:53,405 --> 01:01:55,537
Okay, whiskey over here.
957
01:01:55,581 --> 01:01:57,670
Whiskey over here.
958
01:01:57,714 --> 01:02:02,196
And there's tobacco here
if anybody wants to start with their own little offering.
959
01:02:03,502 --> 01:02:05,286
I actually want to throw it
in the river.
960
01:02:05,330 --> 01:02:07,201
I'm gonna honor my dad tonight.
961
01:02:10,117 --> 01:02:14,905
Do you remember...
You remember when I was reading your son
962
01:02:14,948 --> 01:02:17,777
- Goodnight Moon?
- Yes. Oh, my gosh!
963
01:02:17,821 --> 01:02:19,866
I know, huh?
964
01:02:19,910 --> 01:02:21,650
Goodnight Moon.
965
01:02:21,694 --> 01:02:24,262
Goodnight Moon.
He was just, like, a little kid, little shaver.
966
01:02:24,305 --> 01:02:25,742
Yeah. Yeah.
967
01:02:25,785 --> 01:02:28,048
And you were like,
"Yes, you can read to my son."
968
01:02:28,092 --> 01:02:30,050
Moon in my room.
969
01:02:30,094 --> 01:02:32,096
Anybody else
want some tobacco?
970
01:02:50,331 --> 01:02:51,898
Here we go.
971
01:02:51,942 --> 01:02:54,292
Wow, this is a
bonding experience.
972
01:02:56,294 --> 01:02:58,339
- How are you feeling?
- Great.
973
01:02:58,383 --> 01:02:59,776
Connections, and...
974
01:02:59,819 --> 01:03:01,821
This is half the fun
of having a big party like this.
975
01:03:01,865 --> 01:03:03,475
- It's like...
- Yeah, bringing together everyone.
976
01:03:03,518 --> 01:03:04,998
Absolutely. Absolutely.
977
01:03:05,042 --> 01:03:06,695
This park's going to be
so different without you.
978
01:03:06,739 --> 01:03:08,523
- Oh, stop.
- No.
979
01:03:08,567 --> 01:03:10,612
This woman was like,
"Do you know that Kelly has changed the park
980
01:03:10,656 --> 01:03:14,138
"and she really speaks up
for what's right even if people don't want her to?"
981
01:03:14,181 --> 01:03:15,530
And I was like, "Yes."
982
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:18,795
You just never know.
983
01:03:18,838 --> 01:03:22,189
I mean, you're all gonna
find yourself in a position someday to just go,
984
01:03:22,233 --> 01:03:25,627
"This is my moment. I don't know
if it's right or wrong."
985
01:03:25,671 --> 01:03:28,282
You're gonna step into it
and you just...
986
01:03:30,589 --> 01:03:31,633
You can change the world.
987
01:03:33,505 --> 01:03:35,028
We are gonna
miss you though.
988
01:03:35,072 --> 01:03:37,770
I'm gonna miss you guys very,
very much.
989
01:03:37,814 --> 01:03:40,120
We're like, yeah,
we know you're amazing
990
01:03:40,164 --> 01:03:42,731
and a rockstar and also,
never leave us.
991
01:03:44,255 --> 01:03:47,301
We know you have bigger
and better things to move on to,
992
01:03:47,345 --> 01:03:48,868
but we're gonna miss you.
993
01:03:48,912 --> 01:03:50,565
You know,
the fun thing is just knowing that...
994
01:03:50,609 --> 01:03:54,265
"Okay, so I'm in my 50s
and you guys are in your 30s and 20s."
995
01:03:54,308 --> 01:03:59,096
And so it's just
this cross-generational, like, empowerment.
996
01:03:59,139 --> 01:04:01,011
Women empowerment
is, like, really cool.
997
01:04:01,054 --> 01:04:03,840
Just, like, embrace it,
take it on,
998
01:04:03,883 --> 01:04:05,624
and, you know,
just, like, own it.
999
01:04:05,667 --> 01:04:08,322
I wanna live
in a matriarchal society.
1000
01:04:08,366 --> 01:04:11,804
- I'm serious.
- I mean, the United States is gonna be that soon.
1001
01:04:11,848 --> 01:04:16,417
- Soon.
- Well, it's all gonna be up to all of you, right? And me.
1002
01:04:16,461 --> 01:04:19,159
I mean,
we're all part of it, right?
1003
01:04:50,756 --> 01:04:53,106
I haven't
seen that before. - Me either.
1004
01:06:21,716 --> 01:06:23,066
I made a friend.
1005
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:35,469
Here we are in my last
operational shift as a firefighter.
1006
01:06:35,513 --> 01:06:41,475
We've been here
on the Horsefly Fire for couple of weeks.
1007
01:06:41,519 --> 01:06:44,565
For sure,
I will be hiking again and backpacking
1008
01:06:44,609 --> 01:06:47,916
and doing the kinds of things
that I've done in this job,
1009
01:06:49,092 --> 01:06:51,790
but not for this job.
1010
01:06:51,833 --> 01:06:58,101
Not as a firefighter and that
will be strange and exciting.
1011
01:07:00,103 --> 01:07:03,367
It only took about a week
into this season
1012
01:07:03,410 --> 01:07:07,458
for me to feel affirmed
in my decision to leave.
1013
01:07:07,501 --> 01:07:13,072
It was very clear very early that it's a good decision
1014
01:07:13,116 --> 01:07:16,771
for me to make this
my last season, so that felt good.
1015
01:07:16,815 --> 01:07:20,384
Knowing that I was making
the right choice for me.
1016
01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:27,869
But because it's been
so slow, there's been lots of time for me
1017
01:07:27,913 --> 01:07:29,567
to keep thinking about that
1018
01:07:29,610 --> 01:07:32,961
and wondering
what would it look like and what could I do?
1019
01:07:33,005 --> 01:07:35,181
Is it worth staying in it
so I can keep
1020
01:07:35,225 --> 01:07:36,530
trying to make
the culture better
1021
01:07:36,574 --> 01:07:39,925
and keep influencing
people's perspectives
1022
01:07:39,968 --> 01:07:44,103
and maybe changing their mind
and helping them learn,
1023
01:07:44,147 --> 01:07:46,105
and there's been some
back and forth.
1024
01:07:46,149 --> 01:07:49,282
But it's definitely...
It's time to go, it's time to move on.
1025
01:08:23,316 --> 01:08:27,625
Crazy how much stuff
you accumulate over the years.
1026
01:09:27,685 --> 01:09:30,427
I think the one thing
I really didn't expect
1027
01:09:30,470 --> 01:09:33,908
in retirement, when you leave,
it really is a hard stop.
1028
01:09:34,822 --> 01:09:36,433
You're done with phone calls,
1029
01:09:36,476 --> 01:09:39,349
you're done with your computer,
you're done with your keys.
1030
01:09:39,392 --> 01:09:44,441
Everything gets turned in
on a Friday afternoon.
1031
01:09:44,484 --> 01:09:47,748
And Sunday, I find myself
going over Tioga Pass
1032
01:09:47,792 --> 01:09:50,098
really early in the morning.
1033
01:09:50,142 --> 01:09:54,494
Watching the full moon set
and the sun rise.
1034
01:09:54,538 --> 01:09:59,195
And that's a moment
I am never gonna forget.
1035
01:09:59,238 --> 01:10:05,288
'Cause that was another
huge transition in my life.
1036
01:10:05,331 --> 01:10:10,467
I think there's
some kind of endorphins that keep firefighters going,
1037
01:10:10,510 --> 01:10:12,077
because that's what we do.
1038
01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:16,473
And then when you come
to the abrupt stop of a retirement,
1039
01:10:16,516 --> 01:10:19,606
you feel both elated, relieved,
1040
01:10:19,650 --> 01:10:26,178
but you really begin
to feel the exhaustion has really caught up to you.
1041
01:10:31,444 --> 01:10:36,667
This little tarragon
is a cutting from a friend of mine.
1042
01:10:36,710 --> 01:10:42,803
She's got goats
and a cute little garden and...
1043
01:10:42,847 --> 01:10:46,372
I just like plants
that are given to me.
1044
01:10:48,766 --> 01:10:50,681
It reminds me of them,
of friends.
1045
01:11:08,176 --> 01:11:12,964
It's hard to explain
the subtle
1046
01:11:13,007 --> 01:11:17,925
and sometimes blatant way
that the agency was treating women.
1047
01:11:17,969 --> 01:11:21,364
And not just in fire
and not just in law enforcement,
1048
01:11:21,407 --> 01:11:26,107
but in the whole area.
And when you see an indicator,
1049
01:11:26,151 --> 01:11:28,936
you know, in fire,
the indicator is low humidity
1050
01:11:28,980 --> 01:11:31,199
and high temperature
and some wind.
1051
01:11:31,243 --> 01:11:35,334
Well, when you see
a lot of people leaving the agency
1052
01:11:35,378 --> 01:11:37,467
and most of them are women,
1053
01:11:37,510 --> 01:11:40,731
there's a big indicator
there's something not right.
1054
01:11:40,774 --> 01:11:44,691
So this is kinda sour,
but it complements the maple syrup.
1055
01:11:45,170 --> 01:11:46,563
Oops!
1056
01:11:46,606 --> 01:11:52,699
The trigger point
in '16 happened when
1057
01:11:52,743 --> 01:11:57,225
reading the story about
the sexual harassment at Grand Canyon.
1058
01:11:57,269 --> 01:11:59,576
And to be honest with you,
it was that trigger point
1059
01:12:00,925 --> 01:12:03,144
that I immediately just
closed my eyes
1060
01:12:03,188 --> 01:12:05,146
and threw my head in my hands
and I'm like,
1061
01:12:05,190 --> 01:12:07,453
I can't believe
this is still going on.
1062
01:12:07,497 --> 01:12:11,327
I just can't believe
that women are asking
1063
01:12:11,370 --> 01:12:17,550
and describing situations,
horrific situations.
1064
01:12:17,594 --> 01:12:19,247
And nobody did anything.
1065
01:12:19,291 --> 01:12:21,511
And I thought to myself,
1066
01:12:21,554 --> 01:12:24,514
these are young women
just like I was at their age
1067
01:12:24,557 --> 01:12:27,343
at Grand Canyon
just starting their careers.
1068
01:12:27,386 --> 01:12:31,869
And they've had
this horrific thing that's happening to them.
1069
01:12:31,912 --> 01:12:35,220
And they're reporting
to senior level officials
1070
01:12:35,263 --> 01:12:40,704
who are basically sweeping it
under the rug.
1071
01:12:40,747 --> 01:12:46,100
And it was that moment
that through remembering
1072
01:12:46,144 --> 01:12:50,409
my own experience
with the peeping Tom,
1073
01:12:50,453 --> 01:12:55,196
who continued to promote
for another 25 years within the Park service,
1074
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:58,896
uh, arrested several times
by the way.
1075
01:12:58,939 --> 01:13:05,293
And still kept promoting,
so there's this... How can this be?
1076
01:13:05,337 --> 01:13:11,561
So this lifetime of experiences
of things that, you know, have happened to me,
1077
01:13:11,604 --> 01:13:15,739
and now I'm in a position
at Yosemite, a very powerful position,
1078
01:13:15,782 --> 01:13:17,610
and a very high level position,
1079
01:13:17,654 --> 01:13:21,832
where I just
never felt validated.
1080
01:13:21,875 --> 01:13:25,966
After 30-some odd years
of working very, very hard
1081
01:13:26,010 --> 01:13:29,100
to some of these assignments
being given away
1082
01:13:29,143 --> 01:13:34,018
to subordinate men
or being oppressed and dismissed.
1083
01:13:34,061 --> 01:13:38,022
I just felt like
this can't continue to happen.
1084
01:13:38,065 --> 01:13:41,939
So, in my testimony,
I do talk about creating
1085
01:13:41,982 --> 01:13:44,898
gender parity
at the highest levels.
1086
01:13:44,942 --> 01:13:50,469
You can't just relegate women
to non-authoritative type of positions.
1087
01:13:50,513 --> 01:13:55,648
They need to be responsible
in positions of authority, in positions of power.
1088
01:13:55,692 --> 01:13:57,868
And we just have not
gotten there.
1089
01:13:57,911 --> 01:14:01,872
So, knowing that
that power disparity exists,
1090
01:14:01,915 --> 01:14:06,180
that's a place where
we should recognize
1091
01:14:06,224 --> 01:14:10,271
that there's still work
to be done to try to reduce that disparity.
1092
01:14:13,536 --> 01:14:15,102
And on my way home.
1093
01:14:16,669 --> 01:14:22,588
And I'm going to take
the not very direct route home.
1094
01:14:22,632 --> 01:14:24,677
Um, but while I'm on the road,
1095
01:14:24,721 --> 01:14:28,289
figured it'd be a great time
to stop by and see Kelly.
1096
01:14:28,333 --> 01:14:30,248
Talk about fire.
1097
01:14:30,291 --> 01:14:34,078
Catch up on things, see how
retirement is going for her.
1098
01:14:34,121 --> 01:14:39,083
Talk about my next chapter,
you know, it'll be good.
1099
01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:44,741
Hi!
1100
01:14:44,784 --> 01:14:49,049
- Hello!
- It's so good to see you.
1101
01:14:49,093 --> 01:14:52,096
Aw, look at you.
Oh, you look so good.
1102
01:14:54,185 --> 01:14:56,883
I'll be on campus
starting August 17th.
1103
01:14:56,927 --> 01:15:00,147
Well, it'll be like three days
a week on campus
1104
01:15:00,191 --> 01:15:05,152
and two days a week
doing rotations in the hospital.
1105
01:15:05,196 --> 01:15:10,506
We won't be working
with patients that require, like...
1106
01:15:10,549 --> 01:15:14,771
More involved precautions
than just standard gloves.
1107
01:15:14,814 --> 01:15:16,860
So, they really
try to limit that then?
1108
01:15:16,903 --> 01:15:19,689
Yeah, you know, I don't.
1109
01:15:19,732 --> 01:15:24,258
I don't know what it usually
looks like outside of a pandemic situation,
1110
01:15:24,302 --> 01:15:27,435
but that's what
they've told us to expect
1111
01:15:27,479 --> 01:15:29,655
going into this semester.
1112
01:15:29,699 --> 01:15:34,878
And other than that,
I don't have a whole lot of information.
1113
01:15:34,921 --> 01:15:36,706
Obviously, I'm not a nurse yet.
1114
01:15:38,011 --> 01:15:39,578
But it's kind of like fire,
everything...
1115
01:15:39,622 --> 01:15:41,972
Everything
that's worth learning, you learn on the job.
1116
01:15:48,544 --> 01:15:52,156
I... I hope, I'm pretty sure
1117
01:15:52,199 --> 01:15:54,680
that I changed some
people's minds over the past ten years
1118
01:15:54,724 --> 01:15:56,856
when it comes to attitudes about
1119
01:15:56,900 --> 01:16:00,425
who's supposed to be in fire,
who's good at fire.
1120
01:16:00,468 --> 01:16:03,863
And I don't think
I would have been successful changing their minds
1121
01:16:03,907 --> 01:16:09,260
if I had picked
every single fight with them that I could have.
1122
01:16:09,303 --> 01:16:11,741
You know, if fire is something
that you really wanna do,
1123
01:16:11,784 --> 01:16:15,571
which is a legit choice,
a valid choice,
1124
01:16:15,614 --> 01:16:21,664
you gotta pick your battles
so that you can move towards the final goal.
1125
01:16:22,490 --> 01:16:24,928
And you know...
1126
01:16:24,971 --> 01:16:26,451
I fucking hate saying this,
1127
01:16:27,539 --> 01:16:30,281
but shit's gonna happen,
you know.
1128
01:16:30,324 --> 01:16:32,718
You're gonna work
with assholes.
1129
01:16:32,762 --> 01:16:35,895
There's gonna be some
sexist shit going down.
1130
01:16:35,939 --> 01:16:38,289
Some misogynistic stuff.
1131
01:16:38,332 --> 01:16:42,510
And no one else is gonna say
anything about it.
1132
01:16:42,554 --> 01:16:46,906
Eventually I got to the point
where I didn't feel like I had a choice anymore.
1133
01:16:46,950 --> 01:16:52,172
It was, like, leave
or this is going to destroy you kind of thing.
1134
01:16:52,216 --> 01:16:54,305
And if fire culture
was not what it was,
1135
01:16:54,348 --> 01:16:58,875
maybe it would have felt more
like a choice.
1136
01:16:58,918 --> 01:17:03,880
I read something recently about
kind of the trauma that communities go through
1137
01:17:03,923 --> 01:17:07,274
of having to evacuate
all the time and I'm thinking to myself,
1138
01:17:07,318 --> 01:17:10,626
imagine what that's like
as a career firefighter.
1139
01:17:10,669 --> 01:17:12,453
You know,
year after year after year
1140
01:17:12,497 --> 01:17:16,762
that they're being exposed
to hundreds of houses being destroyed
1141
01:17:16,806 --> 01:17:19,635
and people's lives being lost.
1142
01:17:19,678 --> 01:17:21,811
We know that that's
the business that we're in,
1143
01:17:21,854 --> 01:17:25,728
but I don't think we've really
elevated it to the status of...
1144
01:17:25,771 --> 01:17:28,339
- Well, in knowing...
- This is trauma.
1145
01:17:28,382 --> 01:17:34,954
Knowing that
it's part of your job doesn't make it easier.
1146
01:17:34,998 --> 01:17:37,304
You know, that's a
"routine" part of your job.
1147
01:17:37,348 --> 01:17:41,091
Like, it's still a thing
you're going through.
1148
01:17:41,134 --> 01:17:45,138
It's still, you know,
they can still be a traumatic event.
1149
01:17:45,182 --> 01:17:48,968
But I think the conversations
are starting to happen.
1150
01:17:49,012 --> 01:17:52,189
But I'm really hoping that...
I would like to see that expand
1151
01:17:52,232 --> 01:17:59,022
to a more holistic understanding
of who we are as people, you know?
1152
01:17:59,065 --> 01:18:04,941
The fighting fire,
the putting fire out part is one aspect.
1153
01:18:04,984 --> 01:18:07,247
You know, and then there's
the mental health thing.
1154
01:18:07,291 --> 01:18:09,989
And then there's
the leadership development
1155
01:18:10,033 --> 01:18:13,384
and the interpersonal
communication and the relationship building.
1156
01:18:13,427 --> 01:18:16,822
You know, those are all
separate things and it seems like,
1157
01:18:16,866 --> 01:18:22,001
most of those
just get sidelined
1158
01:18:22,045 --> 01:18:27,137
to focus on the putting
fire out part, you know.
1159
01:18:31,881 --> 01:18:35,972
I would love to know
1160
01:18:36,015 --> 01:18:37,974
from some of the men
I've worked with in the past, like,
1161
01:18:38,017 --> 01:18:39,976
"What do you remember me
saying to you?"
1162
01:18:40,019 --> 01:18:42,326
You know,
maybe it's a conversation I don't even remember,
1163
01:18:42,369 --> 01:18:44,545
but I said something
that took that person back
1164
01:18:44,589 --> 01:18:46,983
and they were,
like, "Holy shit."
1165
01:18:47,026 --> 01:18:51,988
There is one experience
that stands out very strong in my memory.
1166
01:18:52,031 --> 01:18:54,425
There was a person
I was working with
1167
01:18:54,468 --> 01:19:00,213
who was new to the crew,
a crew that I had previously been on.
1168
01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:02,650
And this person came in
1169
01:19:02,694 --> 01:19:06,393
and decided that
1170
01:19:06,437 --> 01:19:10,223
I was not going to be
a good firefighter.
1171
01:19:10,267 --> 01:19:12,922
This person who had never
worked with me before.
1172
01:19:12,965 --> 01:19:15,968
You know, I was too small.
1173
01:19:16,012 --> 01:19:18,188
I wasn't strong enough,
1174
01:19:18,231 --> 01:19:22,061
you know, obviously,
I wasn't going to be able to pull my own weight or whatever.
1175
01:19:22,105 --> 01:19:25,064
Whether he was trying to
or not, it was clear to me.
1176
01:19:25,108 --> 01:19:30,026
And it got to the point
where the rest of the crew
1177
01:19:30,069 --> 01:19:34,726
was being impacted
by, like, us not getting along.
1178
01:19:34,770 --> 01:19:37,773
The crew boss
pulled us aside and said,
1179
01:19:37,816 --> 01:19:41,559
"Give me your version of events.
Give me your version of events."
1180
01:19:41,602 --> 01:19:48,784
You hear it from each other,
so we can figure out where the mismatch is, you know?
1181
01:19:48,827 --> 01:19:53,963
It all boiled down to,
at the very end, I was like, "Okay, look,
1182
01:19:54,006 --> 01:19:58,054
"there's one thing I need
from you that would help me
1183
01:19:59,185 --> 01:20:01,971
"feel like the situation
is resolved."
1184
01:20:02,014 --> 01:20:04,538
I said, "I don't need you
to be my friend
1185
01:20:04,582 --> 01:20:06,627
"or to want to work with me,
1186
01:20:06,671 --> 01:20:11,589
"or to even think that,
you know, like, I'm a great firefighter.
1187
01:20:11,632 --> 01:20:16,550
"I simply need you to say
that I'm competent, you know.
1188
01:20:16,594 --> 01:20:21,164
"Not great, not the best,
not you wanna work with me all the time.
1189
01:20:21,207 --> 01:20:25,211
"Simply, I am competent
at my job."
1190
01:20:25,255 --> 01:20:29,781
Pretty low bar, pretty low bar,
what I thought.
1191
01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:32,218
And he looked at me and said,
1192
01:20:32,262 --> 01:20:34,220
"Well, I'd be lying
if I said that."
1193
01:20:37,441 --> 01:20:39,312
I didn't know
what the fuck to say.
1194
01:20:39,356 --> 01:20:42,838
My crew boss was standing
right there and he didn't say a fucking thing.
1195
01:20:42,881 --> 01:20:46,276
Here's the man who hired me
in the first place,
1196
01:20:46,319 --> 01:20:52,195
then hired me back
because apparently he thought I could do the job,
1197
01:20:52,238 --> 01:20:53,718
and was competent.
1198
01:20:53,761 --> 01:20:56,982
And here's this other person,
new to the crew,
1199
01:20:57,026 --> 01:20:59,898
who's barely worked with me
for a season
1200
01:20:59,942 --> 01:21:04,729
saying, "I don't even think
you are baseline competent,"
1201
01:21:04,772 --> 01:21:07,123
and nobody else fucking
said anything.
1202
01:21:09,212 --> 01:21:13,825
And I was like,
"Okay, well, I... This is it."
1203
01:21:13,869 --> 01:21:17,220
And then the conversation
was over and nobody ever fucking addressed it again.
1204
01:21:21,964 --> 01:21:26,707
I was like,
"Okay, well, I guess, I guess I'm on my own."
1205
01:21:30,015 --> 01:21:31,364
You know, I didn't...
1206
01:21:33,105 --> 01:21:37,805
Goddamn it, that happened...
1207
01:21:37,849 --> 01:21:41,200
Happened a long time ago
and it still makes me...
1208
01:21:41,244 --> 01:21:45,639
Still makes me cry.
Oh, and it made me so mad.
1209
01:21:45,683 --> 01:21:48,251
I think I probably cried
then, too.
1210
01:21:48,294 --> 01:21:54,300
And it's that like,
I'm so mad I don't know what else to do but cry.
1211
01:21:54,344 --> 01:21:56,302
But that very often
gets interpreted
1212
01:21:56,346 --> 01:21:59,523
as like, "Oh, my God.
Look at her. She's crying again. She's so emotional."
1213
01:21:59,566 --> 01:22:00,916
But it's like,
you don't understand.
1214
01:22:00,959 --> 01:22:03,614
I'm crying because I wanna rip
your head off.
1215
01:22:03,657 --> 01:22:06,095
Not because I am sad, you know.
1216
01:22:06,138 --> 01:22:10,882
And after that, I was like,
well, I guess it doesn't fucking matter.
1217
01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:13,841
That situation I had tried
to talk to people,
1218
01:22:13,885 --> 01:22:20,761
I had tried to say,
this is happening. I need support.
1219
01:22:20,805 --> 01:22:24,417
And it didn't matter.
The situation didn't change for better or for worse.
1220
01:22:25,766 --> 01:22:28,813
I don't regret leaving at all.
1221
01:22:30,336 --> 01:22:32,730
I'm so glad I did not...
1222
01:22:32,773 --> 01:22:35,211
It was just time.
1223
01:22:35,254 --> 01:22:38,431
You know, and I don't...
1224
01:22:38,475 --> 01:22:44,611
I don't say that to, like,
shit on anyone who's still doing it and loving it,
1225
01:22:44,655 --> 01:22:48,876
or doing it and not loving it
and they're just choosing to keep doing it, like...
1226
01:22:48,920 --> 01:22:52,793
You do you,
but for me, it was just...
1227
01:22:52,837 --> 01:22:56,406
It was time to be done, move on.
1228
01:22:56,449 --> 01:22:59,235
And I don't regret it at all.
1229
01:22:59,278 --> 01:23:02,716
I don't regret spending
ten years doing it.
1230
01:23:02,760 --> 01:23:09,114
But I'm very happy
to have made the decision to not do it anymore.
1231
01:23:11,029 --> 01:23:12,030
It was time.
1232
01:23:22,475 --> 01:23:25,957
Kelly's cafe, Kelly's car wash.
1233
01:23:26,001 --> 01:23:27,350
Kelly's BnB.
1234
01:23:29,091 --> 01:23:30,614
Yeah, that's all good.
1235
01:23:30,657 --> 01:23:32,094
Thank you so much for hosting.
1236
01:23:32,137 --> 01:23:35,227
Thank you for coming by
and putting me on your path.
1237
01:23:35,271 --> 01:23:37,621
And thanks for the time
that you spent in fire.
1238
01:23:37,664 --> 01:23:38,709
You made a difference
1239
01:23:38,752 --> 01:23:40,015
Yeah, I hope so.
1240
01:23:40,058 --> 01:23:42,060
You did. You absolutely did.
1241
01:23:42,104 --> 01:23:46,325
I changed at least
one person's mind maybe somewhere along the road.
1242
01:23:46,369 --> 01:23:49,198
I think you should
put your standards a little higher than that.
1243
01:23:49,241 --> 01:23:52,331
I think you had a big impact
on a lot of young women.
1244
01:23:52,375 --> 01:23:54,377
So, myself personally,
I appreciate that.
1245
01:23:54,420 --> 01:23:56,379
Aw, thanks.
1246
01:23:56,422 --> 01:23:59,947
Well, I'll definitely...
Whenever we're allowed to have a WTREX in person again,
1247
01:23:59,991 --> 01:24:01,558
- I'll see you there.
- Please.
1248
01:24:01,601 --> 01:24:03,516
Okay, good. So you're not giving up on that?
1249
01:24:03,560 --> 01:24:06,824
- No, I think WTREX
is the one thing I'll stay. - Good, good.
1250
01:24:06,867 --> 01:24:08,826
You know,
'cause that's the part I care about.
1251
01:24:08,869 --> 01:24:13,787
Making fire better
for the next firefighters
1252
01:24:13,831 --> 01:24:16,660
and I can do that
without being a firefighter.
1253
01:24:16,703 --> 01:24:18,792
You know? So I can still be
a part of that.
1254
01:24:18,836 --> 01:24:20,794
Good. Well,
I'm glad to know that.
1255
01:24:20,838 --> 01:24:22,753
- Good.
- I'll be around.
1256
01:24:22,796 --> 01:24:25,669
Okay, dear.
Oh, take care. I love you.
1257
01:24:25,712 --> 01:24:28,889
- I love you, too.
- All right. Best wishes.
1258
01:24:28,933 --> 01:24:31,762
- Gotta hit the road.
- Text me when you...
1259
01:24:31,805 --> 01:24:33,677
- When I make it?
- When you make it.
1260
01:24:33,720 --> 01:24:36,462
- Nine hours is a long time.
- Okay. Yeah, it's gonna be a long drive.
1261
01:24:36,506 --> 01:24:37,768
I got snacks.
1262
01:24:39,161 --> 01:24:41,380
- Good. Cookies?
- All right.
1263
01:24:41,424 --> 01:24:42,642
I got cookies.
1264
01:24:45,602 --> 01:24:46,603
Yay!
1265
01:25:02,053 --> 01:25:03,098
Good woman.
1266
01:25:05,230 --> 01:25:07,276
I wish she was still
working with us.
1267
01:25:10,888 --> 01:25:14,500
I feel so empowered by people
that are so different
1268
01:25:14,544 --> 01:25:17,155
from one another and I think
that's probably the key.
1269
01:25:17,199 --> 01:25:20,593
Everybody has a different
journey and a different path.
1270
01:25:20,637 --> 01:25:23,118
You know, the time
that I spent working
1271
01:25:23,161 --> 01:25:25,555
in the fire environment,
I would never give up.
1272
01:25:25,598 --> 01:25:30,821
I just knew as a young kid even
that this was what I wanted to do.
1273
01:25:30,864 --> 01:25:33,867
I learned a lot,
but made a lot of mistakes.
1274
01:25:33,911 --> 01:25:37,175
But I also, I think it was
an incredible journey.
1275
01:25:40,091 --> 01:25:43,138
The only reason I could have
a career in fire
1276
01:25:43,181 --> 01:25:50,101
that went as well as it did
is because of the women 40 years ago who fixed stuff.
1277
01:25:50,145 --> 01:25:57,064
You know, Kelly put up
with a lot of bullshit over her 35 years.
1278
01:25:58,979 --> 01:26:03,375
I have no doubt
that if I had met her earlier in my fire career,
1279
01:26:04,637 --> 01:26:07,423
you know, things might
have been different.
1280
01:26:07,466 --> 01:26:10,339
Yeah, I know things
would have been different for sure.
1281
01:26:48,115 --> 01:26:50,335
As the new Deputy Director,
I'm personally committed
1282
01:26:50,379 --> 01:26:52,816
to providing
a culture of transparency,
1283
01:26:52,859 --> 01:26:56,602
inclusion, respect,
and accountability
1284
01:26:56,646 --> 01:26:59,866
and making this a safe place
for employees to work.
1285
01:26:59,910 --> 01:27:02,478
We want to become
a model agency.
1286
01:27:02,521 --> 01:27:04,697
We will become a model agency.
1287
01:27:20,409 --> 01:27:23,020
♪ You can hold my hand
1288
01:27:23,934 --> 01:27:26,589
♪ When you need to let go
1289
01:27:27,677 --> 01:27:31,333
♪ I can be your mountain
1290
01:27:31,376 --> 01:27:34,031
♪ When you're feeling
Valley-low
1291
01:27:35,119 --> 01:27:38,470
♪ I can be your streetlight
1292
01:27:38,514 --> 01:27:41,386
♪ Showing you the way home
1293
01:27:42,431 --> 01:27:45,260
♪ You can hold my hand
1294
01:27:46,130 --> 01:27:48,654
♪ When you need to let go
1295
01:27:50,656 --> 01:27:57,315
♪ I want a house
With a crowded table
1296
01:27:57,359 --> 01:28:04,540
♪ And a place by the fire
For everyone
1297
01:28:04,583 --> 01:28:11,982
♪ Let us take on the world
While we're young and able
1298
01:28:12,025 --> 01:28:18,205
♪ And bring us back together
When the day is done
1299
01:28:20,599 --> 01:28:23,994
♪ If we want a garden
1300
01:28:24,037 --> 01:28:26,866
♪ We're gonna have to sow
The seed
1301
01:28:27,824 --> 01:28:30,479
♪ Plant a little happiness
1302
01:28:31,393 --> 01:28:34,134
♪ Let the roots run deep
1303
01:28:35,092 --> 01:28:38,661
♪ If it's love that we give
1304
01:28:38,704 --> 01:28:42,317
♪ Then it's love that we reap
1305
01:28:42,360 --> 01:28:45,494
♪ If we want a garden
1306
01:28:45,537 --> 01:28:48,540
♪ We're gonna have to sow
The seed
1307
01:28:49,889 --> 01:28:56,983
♪ Yeah, I want a house
With a crowded table
1308
01:28:57,027 --> 01:29:04,295
♪ And a place by the fire
For everyone
1309
01:29:04,339 --> 01:29:11,737
♪ Let us take on the world
While we're young and able
1310
01:29:11,781 --> 01:29:18,004
♪ And bring us back together
When the day is done
1311
01:29:19,310 --> 01:29:22,487
♪ The door is always open
1312
01:29:22,531 --> 01:29:26,143
♪ Your picture's on my wall
1313
01:29:26,186 --> 01:29:29,712
♪ Everyone's a little broken
1314
01:29:29,755 --> 01:29:33,368
♪ And everyone belongs
1315
01:29:33,411 --> 01:29:37,459
♪ Yeah, everyone belongs
1316
01:29:37,502 --> 01:29:43,943
♪ I want a house
With a crowded table
1317
01:29:43,987 --> 01:29:51,168
♪ And a place by the fire
For everyone
1318
01:29:51,211 --> 01:29:58,654
♪ Let us take on the world
While we're young and able
1319
01:29:58,697 --> 01:30:05,661
♪ And bring us back together
When the day is done
1320
01:30:05,704 --> 01:30:12,668
♪ And bring us back together
When the day is done ♪
109776
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