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1
00:00:23,674 --> 00:00:27,036
Dobbs is slipping,
he missed the tower.
2
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,672
Pay table's all set up, sarge.
3
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:29,976
Oh, thanks, Duff.
4
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,102
F Troop all present
and accounted for, sir.
5
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,120
Thank you, sergeant.
6
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:45,104
Allow me, captain.
7
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,289
Oh, thank you, corporal.
8
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,057
Uh, let's see, now.
9
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,426
We'll pay the
non-commissioned officers first.
10
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:53,113
Sergeant O'Rourke,
Morgan Sylvester.
11
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:55,314
Yes, sir.
12
00:00:55,338 --> 00:00:56,933
Here you are, sergeant.
13
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:58,184
Thank you.
14
00:00:58,208 --> 00:01:01,537
Uh, Corporal Agarn,
Randolph, no middle initial.
15
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,206
Yes, sir.
16
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,357
Uh, let me see, corporal.
17
00:01:04,381 --> 00:01:06,626
You have a statement
of charges this month.
18
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,911
I know that, sir.
19
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,430
Last month, you lost
one blanket, one saddle,
20
00:01:10,454 --> 00:01:13,816
one bridle, four
horseshoes, and one horse.
21
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,635
Well, I have good news, sir.
22
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,537
My horse, Barney,
came home this morning.
23
00:01:17,561 --> 00:01:18,988
Oh, that's wonderful, corporal.
24
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:22,792
Was he wearing his, uh,
blanket, saddle, bridle, and shoes?
25
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:26,896
No, sir. When he came
back, he was stark naked.
26
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,782
I can't understand that.
27
00:01:28,806 --> 00:01:30,050
I can.
28
00:01:30,074 --> 00:01:31,968
There are some juvenile
delinquents in town
29
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:35,839
who go out at night
stripping parked horses.
30
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,056
Do they really?
31
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,608
Oh, that's right, sir.
32
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,409
Why, only yesterday,
a youngster offered
33
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:43,630
to sell me four hot horseshoes.
34
00:01:43,654 --> 00:01:47,083
I don't know what this
younger generation is coming to.
35
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,085
Uh, uh, here you are, corporal.
36
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,336
Thank you, sir.
37
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,140
Uh, Dobbs, Hannibal Shirley.
38
00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:55,980
Shirley.
39
00:01:58,968 --> 00:02:00,446
Your gun crew
did it again, Wilton,
40
00:02:00,470 --> 00:02:02,482
shot this cannonball
right through my window.
41
00:02:02,506 --> 00:02:04,301
I'm sorry, Jane, but
don't you worry now,
42
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,001
the government
will make restitution.
43
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:07,020
We sure will.
44
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,738
Here, Janey, buy
yourself a new window.
45
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,107
And here, captain, buy
yourself a new blanket, saddle,
46
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,375
bridle, and four horseshoes.
47
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,392
I'm warning you, Dobbs!
48
00:02:13,416 --> 00:02:14,878
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
49
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,280
Here, we'll replace the
window from the troop fund.
50
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,848
Thank you, Wilton.
51
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,551
Here's a wire that just came
in from Territorial Headquarters.
52
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,536
Oh. Thank you, Jane.
53
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,886
It says you are now eligible
54
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,505
to take the examination and
test for promotion to major.
55
00:02:26,529 --> 00:02:27,791
It does? Yes.
56
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,293
Tests are gonna be held
in Dodge City this Saturday.
57
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,628
It's about time you
got that gold leaf, sir.
58
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,664
Oh, that's a very
stiff examination, sir.
59
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,866
You've got to be able to
recite the officers' manual
60
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,968
backwards and forwards
and perform every duty
61
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,670
required of a horse soldier.
62
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,355
Having been
commissioned in the field,
63
00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:43,956
I've haven't had
that much training.
64
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,943
Oh, Wilton, I have
confidence in you.
65
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,579
If kissing is one
of the tests, sir,
66
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,097
they'll make you a general.
67
00:02:51,121 --> 00:02:53,483
Jane, please, I've told you,
not in front of the troops.
68
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,734
Sir, I tell you one thing,
69
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,203
every man in F Troop will
help you prepare for this.
70
00:02:57,227 --> 00:02:58,788
Oh, thank you, sergeant.
71
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,741
Of course, it would be
great to get that promotion.
72
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:05,578
Who knows, maybe next
month I'll be at this table
73
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,063
collecting major's pay.
74
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:01,651
Hi, O'Rourke.
75
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,403
Shh. Shh. What's the matter?
76
00:04:03,427 --> 00:04:05,038
I've got the captain
in the NCO club
77
00:04:05,062 --> 00:04:07,406
studying that officers'
manual so he can pass the test.
78
00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:08,424
But I just want...
79
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,876
Shh! You got to leave him alone.
80
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,945
Everybody in F
Troop is cooperating.
81
00:04:11,969 --> 00:04:15,720
He's got to have absolute quiet
so he can memorize the manual.
82
00:04:27,217 --> 00:04:28,733
Look over there.
83
00:04:35,592 --> 00:04:37,353
I don't believe it.
84
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:39,639
Even the horses are cooperating.
85
00:04:39,663 --> 00:04:40,663
Look over there.
86
00:04:44,901 --> 00:04:46,779
You really are keeping
'em quiet, O'Rourke.
87
00:04:46,803 --> 00:04:47,797
Yeah, we got to.
88
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,599
The only way the
captain can concentrate.
89
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,117
Count on me. I won't bother him.
90
00:04:51,141 --> 00:04:52,619
Good girl, Janey.
91
00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:23,516
You should always
carry signs, Agarn.
92
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,825
It's the one way you can tell
your left foot from your right.
93
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,673
Now, wait a minute,
you two, hold it.
94
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,875
We've got to have
quiet around here.
95
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,944
I want you men to go
about your normal duties
96
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,695
but quietly, do you hear me?
97
00:05:36,719 --> 00:05:38,452
We hear you, O'Rourke.
98
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,647
All right, troop, dismissed.
99
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:12,003
I wonder where I could
get another officers' manual.
100
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,922
Company. Company: headquarters
101
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,707
and two or more
platoons under a captain.
102
00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:25,594
Uh, battalion: headquarters,
two or more companies,
103
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:28,081
plus battery, under a major.
104
00:06:28,105 --> 00:06:32,551
Uh, regiment: headquarters,
three battalions,
105
00:06:32,575 --> 00:06:35,555
plus a band, under a colonel.
106
00:06:35,579 --> 00:06:36,856
Very good, captain.
107
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,207
Thank you, corporal.
108
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,710
Of course, Sergeant O'Rourke
deserves most of the credit.
109
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,146
After all, if he didn't
know the manual by heart,
110
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,014
I never would've
gotten a new one in time.
111
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,833
Well, if I may say so, sir, I
think we should continue.
112
00:06:47,857 --> 00:06:49,185
That's right, sir.
113
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,454
You gotta know these things
forwards and backwards.
114
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:52,605
Right, corporal.
115
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:56,375
Platoon is lieutenant a
under usually unit small.
116
00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:57,560
How do you like that, sarge?
117
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,945
He can even do it backwards.
118
00:07:00,804 --> 00:07:03,182
Sergeant, I think maybe
we better call this a night.
119
00:07:03,206 --> 00:07:05,518
But, sir, we've only covered
about half the manual.
120
00:07:05,542 --> 00:07:07,120
Maybe so, sergeant,
but I don't think
121
00:07:07,144 --> 00:07:09,288
I can keep my eyes
open any longer.
122
00:07:09,312 --> 00:07:10,762
That's no problem.
123
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,982
Funny, I never
would've thought of that.
124
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,984
Maybe I ought go out to
the well, get more water.
125
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,353
No, no. Never mind, corporal.
126
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:26,077
Who is authorized to
negotiate an Indian treaty?
127
00:07:27,097 --> 00:07:28,657
President of the United States,
128
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,025
Secretary of War,
129
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:32,862
territorial governor, and
a military commander
130
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:36,966
whose jurisdiction extends
over 203 square miles.
131
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,217
Captain.
132
00:07:38,241 --> 00:07:39,986
What happened? What happened?
133
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:41,337
You're falling asleep again.
134
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,005
Oh, yes, corporal.
135
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,174
It's the sitting
down that does it.
136
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,925
Captain, you've
gotta keep moving, sir.
137
00:07:46,949 --> 00:07:48,861
Sarge, you fire the questions
138
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,263
and I'll keep the
captain moving.
139
00:07:51,287 --> 00:07:52,581
All right, now.
140
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,416
What is the table
of organization
141
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,403
of a cavalry fort situated in a
town of less than 5000 people?
142
00:07:57,427 --> 00:08:00,790
Uh, one officer over the
rank of second lieutenant,
143
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,592
two non-commissioned officers
144
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,928
and a minimum of 12 privates.
145
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:07,529
Now, say it backwards.
146
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,632
Privates 12 of minimum a
147
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,734
and officers
non-commissioned two,
148
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:15,805
lieutenant second of
rank the over officer one.
149
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,311
Is he beautiful, sarge?
150
00:08:19,550 --> 00:08:21,360
Hi, Wilton.
151
00:08:21,384 --> 00:08:23,529
Oh, uh, here, put
that right there, Jane.
152
00:08:23,553 --> 00:08:24,547
Oh, hi, Jane.
153
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,032
What have you got in the basket?
154
00:08:26,056 --> 00:08:29,373
Basket the in got you
have what. Jane, hi.
155
00:08:30,494 --> 00:08:32,172
What? He's a little punchy
156
00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:34,740
from trying to learn the
manual forwards and backwards.
157
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,542
Oh, well, I saw the
light on in your office,
158
00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:39,011
so I thought maybe you
fellas would like a snack
159
00:08:39,035 --> 00:08:40,162
and some coffee.
160
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,064
Well, that's very
thoughtful of you, Janey.
161
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,866
Now, that's just the
most beautiful thing
162
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:44,984
I have ever heard.
163
00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:46,769
Do you fellas like
egg salad sandwiches?
164
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,805
Oh, boy, that
really hit the spot.
165
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:51,074
You read my stomach's mind.
166
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:53,414
Would you like an egg
salad sandwich, Wilton?
167
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:55,928
Wilton?
168
00:09:00,022 --> 00:09:01,217
Better let him sleep.
169
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,501
He's got a big day tomorrow,
170
00:09:02,525 --> 00:09:04,737
practicing for the basic
training part of the test.
171
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:05,854
You're right.
172
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,511
Hey, hey, let's go.
173
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:22,860
Please, Jane, not in
front of the sandman.
174
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:39,104
Now, the first thing that I
think you should practice
175
00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:40,289
is making the bedroll.
176
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,874
I think that's a
good idea, sergeant.
177
00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:44,993
Gesundheit, sir.
Thank you, corporal.
178
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:46,245
Are you all right, sir? Yes.
179
00:09:46,269 --> 00:09:48,697
I caught a slight chill
sleeping in that damp shirt.
180
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,450
I'm awfully sorry
about that, sir.
181
00:09:50,474 --> 00:09:52,150
It's all right, it
wasn't your fault.
182
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,286
We've got everything
laid out for you right here.
183
00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:55,404
The test manual says
184
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,189
that you're supposed
to make this bedroll
185
00:09:57,213 --> 00:09:59,475
and tie it on the back of
a horse in nine seconds.
186
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,594
Oh, that shouldn't
be too difficult.
187
00:10:01,618 --> 00:10:02,962
Have you got a watch? Yes, sir.
188
00:10:02,986 --> 00:10:04,447
All right, sergeant,
you time me.
189
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,571
I'll bet I can do it in
less than nine seconds.
190
00:10:07,991 --> 00:10:09,240
You ready?
191
00:10:20,803 --> 00:10:21,998
Are you all right, sir?
192
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,973
Yes, yes, yes. I just
leaned on the fork.
193
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:27,025
Ooh!
194
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,339
Captain, the next
part of the test
195
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,909
is to shoe a horse in
not over eight minutes.
196
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,343
All four feet?
197
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:37,930
Unless we can find a horse
who only walks on his back legs.
198
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,250
Let me see, now.
199
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,152
I used to watch
the village smithy
200
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:46,360
as he stood under the
spreading chestnut tree.
201
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,958
Hand me that hammer,
please, sergeant.
202
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,243
There we are, sir.
203
00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:52,778
Thank you.
204
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,005
Fire!
205
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,190
Stand back, captain.
206
00:11:04,214 --> 00:11:05,791
Agarn, get the water.
207
00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:07,095
That's right.
208
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,951
I'm sorry, captain, sir.
209
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:17,853
That's all right.
That was my fault.
210
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,105
Don't you worry about a thing.
211
00:11:19,129 --> 00:11:20,840
We'll put some
more coal on the fire.
212
00:11:20,864 --> 00:11:21,864
Thank you, sergeant.
213
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:24,527
Gesundheit, sir.
214
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:25,711
Are you all right, sir?
215
00:11:25,735 --> 00:11:27,680
Yes, I just have a
little chill, I guess.
216
00:11:27,704 --> 00:11:29,982
We can't let you catch a
cold and miss that test, sir.
217
00:11:30,006 --> 00:11:31,366
No, no, I'll be all right.
218
00:11:32,509 --> 00:11:33,853
Gesundheit, sir.
219
00:11:33,877 --> 00:11:35,838
We've got to get you
out of those wet clothes.
220
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,357
Oh, captain, I poured
the water on you last night.
221
00:11:38,381 --> 00:11:40,309
I poured the water on you today.
222
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,977
You're gonna catch
your death of cold.
223
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,429
You won't be able
to take the test.
224
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,014
You're never gonna
become a major...
225
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,834
and it's all my fault.
226
00:11:47,858 --> 00:11:49,089
Oh, sir.
227
00:11:49,892 --> 00:11:51,537
Agarn, will you stop crying?
228
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:54,028
His uniform is wet
enough already.
229
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,036
Hey, Smokey.
230
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,421
Sarge, do you think
Chief Wild Eagle'll
231
00:12:08,445 --> 00:12:09,538
have a good cold remedy?
232
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,390
Well, if he doesn't,
his medicine man will.
233
00:12:11,414 --> 00:12:13,447
Indians have
remedies for everything.
234
00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:17,229
Hey, Craze, where's Wild Eagle?
235
00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:19,465
Oh, chief in his
teepee lying down.
236
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,616
Oh, taking a nap?
237
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,352
No. Him have very
bad cold in head.
238
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,020
Sarge, that's wonderful.
239
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:26,371
This is our lucky day.
240
00:12:26,395 --> 00:12:29,013
What did I tell you? Come on.
241
00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:33,662
Ah, hi, chief.
242
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,281
Oh, hello, boys.
243
00:12:35,305 --> 00:12:36,816
How do you feel, Wild Eagle?
244
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,451
Like General Custer
should have my head.
245
00:12:39,475 --> 00:12:40,953
Nothing personal.
246
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,772
What'd your medicine
man do for you?
247
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,825
With the medicine man,
it's always the same thing.
248
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:48,060
Take two berries and go to bed.
249
00:12:48,084 --> 00:12:49,411
Didn't the medicine man
250
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,097
give you any of those
old Indian remedies?
251
00:12:52,121 --> 00:12:53,932
What give remedies?
252
00:12:53,956 --> 00:12:56,535
He won't even make teepee calls.
253
00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:59,038
Well, didn't he have
some herbs and roots,
254
00:12:59,062 --> 00:13:00,873
something to help your cold?
255
00:13:00,897 --> 00:13:04,976
All he keeps telling me
is take long canoe trip.
256
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,595
They're all alike.
257
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,965
We're in the hands of quacks.
258
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:13,386
Here, chief. This very
good for your cold.
259
00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,504
Another doctor heard from.
260
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:16,555
What is that?
261
00:13:16,579 --> 00:13:18,557
Squaw of Chief
Thunderbird send this.
262
00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:21,310
She said it "sure
cure" for cold.
263
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,628
What is it, Craze?
264
00:13:22,652 --> 00:13:23,845
Chicken soup.
265
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:26,148
Again with the chicken soup.
266
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:29,952
Last year, had ingrown
toenail, she send chicken soup.
267
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,188
Might as well drink it, chief.
268
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:33,505
It could help you.
269
00:13:33,529 --> 00:13:35,941
How can chicken soup help?
270
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:37,743
It wouldn't hurt.
271
00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:41,330
Crazy Cat, did you send
smoke signal to medicine man?
272
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,314
Uh-huh.
273
00:13:42,338 --> 00:13:44,650
Did medicine man
answer smoke signal?
274
00:13:44,674 --> 00:13:46,251
Uh-huh. What he say?
275
00:13:46,275 --> 00:13:49,427
Uh, don't smoke
me. I'll smoke you.
276
00:13:51,014 --> 00:13:52,107
Come on, let's go to town.
277
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:53,392
See if we can find a remedy.
278
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,711
Only one thing could help this.
279
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:57,913
Now, why didn't I think of that.
280
00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,238
Whiskey is a good
remedy for anything.
281
00:14:01,724 --> 00:14:04,270
Hey, chief, will
that really help?
282
00:14:04,294 --> 00:14:05,693
It wouldn't hurt.
283
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,511
Here, Wilton. This is what
my mother gave my father
284
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,495
when he had a cold.
285
00:14:29,519 --> 00:14:30,512
It's black-bean soup
286
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,748
with a dash of blackberry wine.
287
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,566
Janey, you know I never drink.
288
00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:36,886
But there's very little
wine in this. Come on.
289
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,277
Come on.
290
00:14:42,832 --> 00:14:44,059
Mm. Mm.
291
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,095
Say, that's very good.
292
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,445
You say this is what your mother
293
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:48,947
gave your father
when he had a cold?
294
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,123
Yes, and Daddy
had a cold all winter.
295
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,659
I can see why.
296
00:14:55,511 --> 00:14:57,339
Come in. Come in.
297
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:58,941
Howdy, captain.
How are you feeling?
298
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,059
Oh, pretty good, Dobbs.
299
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:01,710
I made up a little
remedy that my mommy
300
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,712
used to give my daddy
when he had a cold.
301
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,381
We've already got
one of those, Dobbs.
302
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,932
Oh, this one's
sure-fire, captain.
303
00:15:06,956 --> 00:15:08,934
It's made of molasses,
a little cottonseed oil
304
00:15:08,958 --> 00:15:10,385
and a dash of bourbon.
305
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,853
We don't need that, Dobbs.
306
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:15,273
Wilton is doing just
fine with my soup.
307
00:15:15,297 --> 00:15:16,692
Thanks anyway, Dobbs.
308
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,282
All right, sir.
309
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,982
Oh, hi, Duffy. Dobbs.
310
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:40,966
How's the captain?
311
00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:42,217
Oh, feeling much better.
312
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:43,257
Good.
313
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:50,959
Come in.
314
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:52,144
How are you doing, captain?
315
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,045
Much better, Duffy. Thank you.
316
00:15:54,069 --> 00:15:56,582
We had a lot of
colds at the Alamo, sir.
317
00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:58,350
I'm sure you did, Duffy.
318
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,886
I'll never forget the first
time Davy Crockett sneezed.
319
00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:04,506
I turned to him and I said,
"Davy," I says, "gesundheit."
320
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,542
That's very thoughtful
of you, Duffy.
321
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,077
Well, after I said gesundheit,
322
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,312
I fetch him a batch of
this remedy for colds
323
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:13,565
made by a Mexican friend
of mine, Pancho Domingo.
324
00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:16,602
Duffy, I already have
a cure for Wilton's cold.
325
00:16:16,626 --> 00:16:17,903
I think this is better, Jane.
326
00:16:17,927 --> 00:16:21,190
It's made from cactus
juice and tequila.
327
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,774
Oh, if it's all the
same to you, Duffy,
328
00:16:22,798 --> 00:16:25,894
I think I'll just stick
with Jane's soup.
329
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,478
Oh, whatever you say, sir.
330
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:50,636
Hello, sarge.
331
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:51,754
Hi, Duff. Agarn.
332
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:52,738
Hi, Duffy.
333
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:53,755
How's the captain?
334
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:54,740
He ain't doing so good.
335
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,325
Jane ain't helping
him much either.
336
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,527
Oh?
337
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,796
O'Rourke, if you
and Agarn have come
338
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,165
with a remedy for
Wilton's cold, don't bother.
339
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,149
Well, we just...
340
00:17:04,173 --> 00:17:06,185
He's doing just
fine with my soup.
341
00:17:06,209 --> 00:17:08,053
I think Jane's right, men.
342
00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:10,455
I certainly appreciate
your concern.
343
00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:11,840
Well, just, uh...
344
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,542
Well, as long as
you're feeling better,
345
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,093
that's all we're interested in.
346
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,145
That's right, sir.
347
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,913
We're only worried
about your health.
348
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:21,100
We sure want you to be
ready to take that test tomorrow.
349
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,468
I'm sure Janey knows
what she's doing, sir.
350
00:17:23,492 --> 00:17:25,103
We'll see you in the morning.
351
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,939
The captain's gonna be in
fine shape for that test tomorrow.
352
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:28,958
He should be.
353
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,175
When Jane wasn't looking,
354
00:17:30,199 --> 00:17:32,344
I poured a remedy of
molasses, cottonseed oil
355
00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:34,580
and bourbon in her soup.
356
00:17:34,604 --> 00:17:38,372
I wonder how that'll mix
with cactus juice and tequila.
357
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,004
If the captain goes for
seconds on that soup,
358
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,110
we're in trouble.
359
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,520
Happy New Year!
360
00:17:55,424 --> 00:17:56,786
Sounds like he went for thirds.
361
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,159
Wouldn't you?
362
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,098
We'd better get him back
to bed quick. Come on.
363
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:33,322
Private Vanderbilt, I'm
relieving you of guard duty.
364
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:34,773
But nobody can relieve me
365
00:18:34,797 --> 00:18:37,209
except the corporal of the
guard or Captain Parmenter.
366
00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:40,829
I am Captain Parmenter,
and I will walk guard for you.
367
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,453
Thank you, sir.
368
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:51,273
Now, that's what I call
the blind leading the blind.
369
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,297
Come on.
370
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:56,661
Get that blanket!
371
00:18:56,685 --> 00:18:59,849
Good. Now, over here.
372
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:02,450
All right now, captain.
373
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,771
Sir, sir. Please, sir.
All right, here we go.
374
00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:06,972
Be careful now, captain.
375
00:19:06,996 --> 00:19:08,156
Captain, don't fall.
376
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:09,841
Hold it, sir. Come down.
377
00:19:09,865 --> 00:19:11,977
That's it. Easy.
378
00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:13,062
Watch your step.
379
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:14,797
Take it easy.
380
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,821
Captain.
381
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,735
Wait, he's climbing
down. Nice and easy.
382
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,119
Just climb down the ladder, sir.
383
00:19:22,611 --> 00:19:23,611
Stay back! Stay back!
384
00:19:28,618 --> 00:19:29,878
You did it again, O'Rourke.
385
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,247
Shot this cannonball right
through my bedroom window.
386
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:33,332
Later, Janey, later.
387
00:19:33,356 --> 00:19:34,950
Hi, Jane.
388
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,669
Wilton Parmenter, you
come down here this instant.
389
00:19:37,693 --> 00:19:39,626
Oh, now, Jane.
390
00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:49,114
Wilton Parmenter,
you're a disgrace.
391
00:19:49,138 --> 00:19:51,489
And you keep telling
me that you don't drink.
392
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,807
Jane's a lovely girl.
393
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:02,600
And she sure makes a
great little black-bean soup.
394
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,365
Good morning, men.
395
00:20:06,389 --> 00:20:07,699
Morning, sir. Morning, sir.
396
00:20:07,723 --> 00:20:09,017
I want you to take over the fort
397
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,636
while I take this
test in Dodge City.
398
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,570
Oh, you can rely on us, sir.
399
00:20:12,594 --> 00:20:16,080
Do you, uh, remember
last night, sir?
400
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,027
Of course, I do.
401
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,077
You do?
402
00:20:19,101 --> 00:20:21,380
Certainly. I had some
soup and went to bed.
403
00:20:21,404 --> 00:20:24,900
Sarge, his memory's gone.
404
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,352
Do you remember
anything else at all, sir?
405
00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:28,570
Like what, sergeant?
406
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:29,921
Like, uh, who is authorized
407
00:20:29,945 --> 00:20:32,057
to negotiate an Indian treaty?
408
00:20:32,081 --> 00:20:34,226
President of the United
States, Secretary of War,
409
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,295
territorial governor and
a military commander
410
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:39,081
whose jurisdiction extends
over 203 square miles.
411
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,450
Ah, good luck to you, sir,
from all of us in F Troop.
412
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:42,756
Thank you, sergeant.
413
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:46,476
I think we've got
ourselves a new major.
414
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,812
I made the sandwiches
for the party, O'Rourke.
415
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,714
Mm. Good girl, Janey, good girl.
416
00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:57,433
As soon as the captain
comes to the door,
417
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,101
I'm gonna give him
a salute on my bugle.
418
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,619
That's a good idea, Dobbs.
419
00:21:00,643 --> 00:21:03,772
You're gonna let him play
where there's open food?
420
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:04,756
I'm warning you, Agarn.
421
00:21:04,780 --> 00:21:06,925
Cut it out, you two, cut it out!
422
00:21:06,949 --> 00:21:10,595
O'Rourke, that
banner's all wrong.
423
00:21:10,619 --> 00:21:13,131
I suppose you think Wilton's
not going to pass the test.
424
00:21:13,155 --> 00:21:15,067
Oh, I think he'll
pass the test all right,
425
00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:18,620
but that banner should read,
"Goodbye, Major Parmenter."
426
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:19,871
What are you talking about?
427
00:21:19,895 --> 00:21:22,458
Sarge, you know the
regulations as well as I do.
428
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:25,711
They never have a fort
commander over the rank of captain.
429
00:21:25,735 --> 00:21:29,030
My golly, he's right.
I forgot all about that.
430
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:31,566
I was so interested in
his getting a promotion.
431
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:33,902
If Wilton makes major,
he'll be transferred?
432
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,405
- That's right.
- Now, that...
433
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:39,157
is the saddest
thing I've ever heard.
434
00:21:39,181 --> 00:21:43,595
When he comes through the
door, maybe I oughta play "Taps."
435
00:21:43,619 --> 00:21:45,213
I told you, Dobbs,
436
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:46,849
not where there's open food.
437
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:49,018
All right. Will you
cut it out, you two?
438
00:21:49,042 --> 00:21:50,753
I don't need crying,
and I'm not a...
439
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:53,621
But I'm gonna lose Wilton.
440
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,241
We're all gonna lose him.
441
00:21:56,265 --> 00:21:58,182
Who's going to lose whom?
442
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:00,700
Oh, Wilton.
443
00:22:02,605 --> 00:22:05,083
Oh, you're still a captain.
444
00:22:05,107 --> 00:22:06,919
The captain failed.
445
00:22:06,943 --> 00:22:09,477
Hip hip hooray!
446
00:22:10,863 --> 00:22:13,959
I mean, what a shame, sir.
447
00:22:13,983 --> 00:22:17,012
Well, I did my best, men,
448
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,481
and I'm sorry I
let you all down.
449
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:21,082
Oh, sir, those men
at headquarters
450
00:22:21,106 --> 00:22:23,585
wouldn't know a good
officer if they saw one.
451
00:22:23,609 --> 00:22:25,654
It's just that I'm sorry
I spoiled your party.
452
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,945
You didn't spoil anything, sir.
453
00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:32,694
We were covering all bets.
454
00:22:32,718 --> 00:22:33,679
I'll go set up the beer.
455
00:22:33,703 --> 00:22:35,030
Ah, good, Dobbs, good.
456
00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:37,032
Oh, I almost forgot, Jane.
457
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:38,433
Here... Here...
458
00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:41,675
Here's a little something I
got for you in Dodge City.
459
00:22:48,784 --> 00:22:51,680
Oh, Wilton, what a
beautiful handkerchief.
460
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:52,730
Thank you.
461
00:22:52,754 --> 00:22:55,088
Jane, please not in
front of a keg of beer.
462
00:22:56,175 --> 00:22:57,455
You dropped this, sir.
463
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:02,824
Oh. I can see you
already read it, sergeant.
464
00:23:02,848 --> 00:23:05,360
I'm sorry, sir. I, uh... I
didn't know what it was.
465
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,429
What is it, Wilton?
466
00:23:07,453 --> 00:23:09,815
Well, I guess you'd all find
out about it sooner or later.
467
00:23:09,839 --> 00:23:11,433
He passed the test, Janey,
468
00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:12,951
but he turned down the promotion
469
00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:15,403
because he found
out he'd be transferred.
470
00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:18,473
Well, I wasn't about
to leave Fort Courage.
471
00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:20,242
Not when I've
got the finest troop
472
00:23:20,266 --> 00:23:21,844
in the United States Cavalry.
473
00:23:23,052 --> 00:23:24,178
Hey, well, now,
474
00:23:24,202 --> 00:23:25,802
we'll certainly
drink to that, sir.
475
00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:30,719
I did it again.
476
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:33,672
I'm sorry, captain. I... I...
477
00:23:33,696 --> 00:23:34,890
That's all right, corporal.
478
00:23:36,432 --> 00:23:38,377
Are you all right?
479
00:23:38,401 --> 00:23:42,319
Jane, I think you'd better whip
up another batch of that soup.
480
00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:51,874
What's going on, sergeant?
481
00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:53,425
Excuse me, sir,
I've ordered the men
482
00:23:53,449 --> 00:23:55,093
to be absolutely quiet
483
00:23:55,117 --> 00:23:58,513
so that Corporal Agarn can
study the soldier's manual.
484
00:23:58,537 --> 00:23:59,931
Yes, he's going
to take that test
485
00:23:59,955 --> 00:24:01,316
for his promotion to sergeant.
486
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:02,300
That's right, sir.
487
00:24:02,324 --> 00:24:03,735
That certainly is a unique way
488
00:24:03,759 --> 00:24:06,239
of keeping the fort quiet.
489
00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:11,075
Captain, sir, sarge. I
think I've got it memorized.
490
00:24:11,099 --> 00:24:12,093
Oh?
491
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:14,734
Uh, give us the
second general order.
492
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:18,066
Hearing and sight within place
493
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:20,301
takes that everything
observing and alert
494
00:24:20,325 --> 00:24:21,453
the on always keeping,
495
00:24:21,477 --> 00:24:25,523
manner military a
in post my walk to.
496
00:24:25,547 --> 00:24:27,275
Very good, corporal, very good.
497
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:29,233
Now give it to us forwards.
498
00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:36,039
I knew there was
something I forgot.
33710
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