All language subtitles for F Troop S02E29 The Majority of Wilton.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.WB

Dobbs is slipping,
he missed the tower.

Pay table's all set up, sarge.

Oh, thanks, Duff.

F Troop all present
and accounted for, sir.

Thank you, sergeant.

Allow me, captain.

Oh, thank you, corporal.

Uh, let's see, now.

We'll pay the
non-commissioned officers first.

Sergeant O'Rourke,
Morgan Sylvester.

Yes, sir.

Here you are, sergeant.

Thank you.

Uh, Corporal Agarn,
Randolph, no middle initial.

Yes, sir.

Uh, let me see, corporal.

You have a statement
of charges this month.

I know that, sir.

Last month, you lost
one blanket, one saddle,

one bridle, four
horseshoes, and one horse.

Well, I have good news, sir.

My horse, Barney,
came home this morning.

Oh, that's wonderful, corporal.

Was he wearing his, uh,
blanket, saddle, bridle, and shoes?

No, sir. When he came
back, he was stark naked.

I can't understand that.

I can.

There are some juvenile
delinquents in town

who go out at night
stripping parked horses.

Do they really?

Oh, that's right, sir.

Why, only yesterday,
a youngster offered

to sell me four hot horseshoes.

I don't know what this
younger generation is coming to.

Uh, uh, here you are, corporal.

Thank you, sir.

Uh, Dobbs, Hannibal Shirley.

Shirley.

Your gun crew
did it again, Wilton,

shot this cannonball
right through my window.

I'm sorry, Jane, but
don't you worry now,

the government
will make restitution.

We sure will.

Here, Janey, buy
yourself a new window.

And here, captain, buy
yourself a new blanket, saddle,

bridle, and four horseshoes.

I'm warning you, Dobbs!

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Here, we'll replace the
window from the troop fund.

Thank you, Wilton.

Here's a wire that just came
in from Territorial Headquarters.

Oh. Thank you, Jane.

It says you are now eligible

to take the examination and
test for promotion to major.

It does? Yes.

Tests are gonna be held
in Dodge City this Saturday.

It's about time you
got that gold leaf, sir.

Oh, that's a very
stiff examination, sir.

You've got to be able to
recite the officers' manual

backwards and forwards
and perform every duty

required of a horse soldier.

Having been
commissioned in the field,

I've haven't had
that much training.

Oh, Wilton, I have
confidence in you.

If kissing is one
of the tests, sir,

they'll make you a general.

Jane, please, I've told you,
not in front of the troops.

Sir, I tell you one thing,

every man in F Troop will
help you prepare for this.

Oh, thank you, sergeant.

Of course, it would be
great to get that promotion.

Who knows, maybe next
month I'll be at this table

collecting major's pay.

Hi, O'Rourke.

Shh. Shh. What's the matter?

I've got the captain
in the NCO club

studying that officers'
manual so he can pass the test.

But I just want...

Shh! You got to leave him alone.

Everybody in F
Troop is cooperating.

He's got to have absolute quiet
so he can memorize the manual.

Look over there.

I don't believe it.

Even the horses are cooperating.

Look over there.

You really are keeping
'em quiet, O'Rourke.

Yeah, we got to.

The only way the
captain can concentrate.

Count on me. I won't bother him.

Good girl, Janey.

You should always
carry signs, Agarn.

It's the one way you can tell
your left foot from your right.

Now, wait a minute,
you two, hold it.

We've got to have
quiet around here.

I want you men to go
about your normal duties

but quietly, do you hear me?

We hear you, O'Rourke.

All right, troop, dismissed.

I wonder where I could
get another officers' manual.

Company. Company: headquarters

and two or more
platoons under a captain.

Uh, battalion: headquarters,
two or more companies,

plus battery, under a major.

Uh, regiment: headquarters,
three battalions,

plus a band, under a colonel.

Very good, captain.

Thank you, corporal.

Of course, Sergeant O'Rourke
deserves most of the credit.

After all, if he didn't
know the manual by heart,

I never would've
gotten a new one in time.

Well, if I may say so, sir, I
think we should continue.

That's right, sir.

You gotta know these things
forwards and backwards.

Right, corporal.

Platoon is lieutenant a
under usually unit small.

How do you like that, sarge?

He can even do it backwards.

Sergeant, I think maybe
we better call this a night.

But, sir, we've only covered
about half the manual.

Maybe so, sergeant,
but I don't think

I can keep my eyes
open any longer.

That's no problem.

Funny, I never
would've thought of that.

Maybe I ought go out to
the well, get more water.

No, no. Never mind, corporal.

Who is authorized to
negotiate an Indian treaty?

President of the United States,

Secretary of War,

territorial governor, and
a military commander

whose jurisdiction extends
over 203 square miles.

Captain.

What happened? What happened?

You're falling asleep again.

Oh, yes, corporal.

It's the sitting
down that does it.

Captain, you've
gotta keep moving, sir.

Sarge, you fire the questions

and I'll keep the
captain moving.

All right, now.

What is the table
of organization

of a cavalry fort situated in a
town of less than 5000 people?

Uh, one officer over the
rank of second lieutenant,

two non-commissioned officers

and a minimum of 12 privates.

Now, say it backwards.

Privates 12 of minimum a

and officers
non-commissioned two,

lieutenant second of
rank the over officer one.

Is he beautiful, sarge?

Hi, Wilton.

Oh, uh, here, put
that right there, Jane.

Oh, hi, Jane.

What have you got in the basket?

Basket the in got you
have what. Jane, hi.

What? He's a little punchy

from trying to learn the
manual forwards and backwards.

Oh, well, I saw the
light on in your office,

so I thought maybe you
fellas would like a snack

and some coffee.

Well, that's very
thoughtful of you, Janey.

Now, that's just the
most beautiful thing

I have ever heard.

Do you fellas like
egg salad sandwiches?

Oh, boy, that
really hit the spot.

You read my stomach's mind.

Would you like an egg
salad sandwich, Wilton?

Wilton?

Better let him sleep.

He's got a big day tomorrow,

practicing for the basic
training part of the test.

You're right.

Hey, hey, let's go.

Please, Jane, not in
front of the sandman.

Now, the first thing that I
think you should practice

is making the bedroll.

I think that's a
good idea, sergeant.

Gesundheit, sir.
Thank you, corporal.

Are you all right, sir? Yes.

I caught a slight chill
sleeping in that damp shirt.

I'm awfully sorry
about that, sir.

It's all right, it
wasn't your fault.

We've got everything
laid out for you right here.

The test manual says

that you're supposed
to make this bedroll

and tie it on the back of
a horse in nine seconds.

Oh, that shouldn't
be too difficult.

Have you got a watch? Yes, sir.

All right, sergeant,
you time me.

I'll bet I can do it in
less than nine seconds.

You ready?

Are you all right, sir?

Yes, yes, yes. I just
leaned on the fork.

Ooh!

Captain, the next
part of the test

is to shoe a horse in
not over eight minutes.

All four feet?

Unless we can find a horse
who only walks on his back legs.

Let me see, now.

I used to watch
the village smithy

as he stood under the
spreading chestnut tree.

Hand me that hammer,
please, sergeant.

There we are, sir.

Thank you.

Fire!

Stand back, captain.

Agarn, get the water.

That's right.

I'm sorry, captain, sir.

That's all right.
That was my fault.

Don't you worry about a thing.

We'll put some
more coal on the fire.

Thank you, sergeant.

Gesundheit, sir.

Are you all right, sir?

Yes, I just have a
little chill, I guess.

We can't let you catch a
cold and miss that test, sir.

No, no, I'll be all right.

Gesundheit, sir.

We've got to get you
out of those wet clothes.

Oh, captain, I poured
the water on you last night.

I poured the water on you today.

You're gonna catch
your death of cold.

You won't be able
to take the test.

You're never gonna
become a major...

and it's all my fault.

Oh, sir.

Agarn, will you stop crying?

His uniform is wet
enough already.

Hey, Smokey.

Sarge, do you think
Chief Wild Eagle'll

have a good cold remedy?

Well, if he doesn't,
his medicine man will.

Indians have
remedies for everything.

Hey, Craze, where's Wild Eagle?

Oh, chief in his
teepee lying down.

Oh, taking a nap?

No. Him have very
bad cold in head.

Sarge, that's wonderful.

This is our lucky day.

What did I tell you? Come on.

Ah, hi, chief.

Oh, hello, boys.

How do you feel, Wild Eagle?

Like General Custer
should have my head.

Nothing personal.

What'd your medicine
man do for you?

With the medicine man,
it's always the same thing.

Take two berries and go to bed.

Didn't the medicine man

give you any of those
old Indian remedies?

What give remedies?

He won't even make teepee calls.

Well, didn't he have
some herbs and roots,

something to help your cold?

All he keeps telling me
is take long canoe trip.

They're all alike.

We're in the hands of quacks.

Here, chief. This very
good for your cold.

Another doctor heard from.

What is that?

Squaw of Chief
Thunderbird send this.

She said it "sure
cure" for cold.

What is it, Craze?

Chicken soup.

Again with the chicken soup.

Last year, had ingrown
toenail, she send chicken soup.

Might as well drink it, chief.

It could help you.

How can chicken soup help?

It wouldn't hurt.

Crazy Cat, did you send
smoke signal to medicine man?

Uh-huh.

Did medicine man
answer smoke signal?

Uh-huh. What he say?

Uh, don't smoke
me. I'll smoke you.

Come on, let's go to town.

See if we can find a remedy.

Only one thing could help this.

Now, why didn't I think of that.

Whiskey is a good
remedy for anything.

Hey, chief, will
that really help?

It wouldn't hurt.

Here, Wilton. This is what
my mother gave my father

when he had a cold.

It's black-bean soup

with a dash of blackberry wine.

Janey, you know I never drink.

But there's very little
wine in this. Come on.

Come on.

Mm. Mm.

Say, that's very good.

You say this is what your mother

gave your father
when he had a cold?

Yes, and Daddy
had a cold all winter.

I can see why.

Come in. Come in.

Howdy, captain.
How are you feeling?

Oh, pretty good, Dobbs.

I made up a little
remedy that my mommy

used to give my daddy
when he had a cold.

We've already got
one of those, Dobbs.

Oh, this one's
sure-fire, captain.

It's made of molasses,
a little cottonseed oil

and a dash of bourbon.

We don't need that, Dobbs.

Wilton is doing just
fine with my soup.

Thanks anyway, Dobbs.

All right, sir.

Oh, hi, Duffy. Dobbs.

How's the captain?

Oh, feeling much better.

Good.

Come in.

How are you doing, captain?

Much better, Duffy. Thank you.

We had a lot of
colds at the Alamo, sir.

I'm sure you did, Duffy.

I'll never forget the first
time Davy Crockett sneezed.

I turned to him and I said,
"Davy," I says, "gesundheit."

That's very thoughtful
of you, Duffy.

Well, after I said gesundheit,

I fetch him a batch of
this remedy for colds

made by a Mexican friend
of mine, Pancho Domingo.

Duffy, I already have
a cure for Wilton's cold.

I think this is better, Jane.

It's made from cactus
juice and tequila.

Oh, if it's all the
same to you, Duffy,

I think I'll just stick
with Jane's soup.

Oh, whatever you say, sir.

Hello, sarge.

Hi, Duff. Agarn.

Hi, Duffy.

How's the captain?

He ain't doing so good.

Jane ain't helping
him much either.

Oh?

O'Rourke, if you
and Agarn have come

with a remedy for
Wilton's cold, don't bother.

Well, we just...

He's doing just
fine with my soup.

I think Jane's right, men.

I certainly appreciate
your concern.

Well, just, uh...

Well, as long as
you're feeling better,

that's all we're interested in.

That's right, sir.

We're only worried
about your health.

We sure want you to be
ready to take that test tomorrow.

I'm sure Janey knows
what she's doing, sir.

We'll see you in the morning.

The captain's gonna be in
fine shape for that test tomorrow.

He should be.

When Jane wasn't looking,

I poured a remedy of
molasses, cottonseed oil

and bourbon in her soup.

I wonder how that'll mix
with cactus juice and tequila.

If the captain goes for
seconds on that soup,

we're in trouble.

Happy New Year!

Sounds like he went for thirds.

Wouldn't you?

We'd better get him back
to bed quick. Come on.

Private Vanderbilt, I'm
relieving you of guard duty.

But nobody can relieve me

except the corporal of the
guard or Captain Parmenter.

I am Captain Parmenter,
and I will walk guard for you.

Thank you, sir.

Now, that's what I call
the blind leading the blind.

Come on.

Get that blanket!

Good. Now, over here.

All right now, captain.

Sir, sir. Please, sir.
All right, here we go.

Be careful now, captain.

Captain, don't fall.

Hold it, sir. Come down.

That's it. Easy.

Watch your step.

Take it easy.

Captain.

Wait, he's climbing
down. Nice and easy.

Just climb down the ladder, sir.

Stay back! Stay back!

You did it again, O'Rourke.

Shot this cannonball right
through my bedroom window.

Later, Janey, later.

Hi, Jane.

Wilton Parmenter, you
come down here this instant.

Oh, now, Jane.

Wilton Parmenter,
you're a disgrace.

And you keep telling
me that you don't drink.

Jane's a lovely girl.

And she sure makes a
great little black-bean soup.

Good morning, men.

Morning, sir. Morning, sir.

I want you to take over the fort

while I take this
test in Dodge City.

Oh, you can rely on us, sir.

Do you, uh, remember
last night, sir?

Of course, I do.

You do?

Certainly. I had some
soup and went to bed.

Sarge, his memory's gone.

Do you remember
anything else at all, sir?

Like what, sergeant?

Like, uh, who is authorized

to negotiate an Indian treaty?

President of the United
States, Secretary of War,

territorial governor and
a military commander

whose jurisdiction extends
over 203 square miles.

Ah, good luck to you, sir,
from all of us in F Troop.

Thank you, sergeant.

I think we've got
ourselves a new major.

I made the sandwiches
for the party, O'Rourke.

Mm. Good girl, Janey, good girl.

As soon as the captain
comes to the door,

I'm gonna give him
a salute on my bugle.

That's a good idea, Dobbs.

You're gonna let him play
where there's open food?

I'm warning you, Agarn.

Cut it out, you two, cut it out!

O'Rourke, that
banner's all wrong.

I suppose you think Wilton's
not going to pass the test.

Oh, I think he'll
pass the test all right,

but that banner should read,
"Goodbye, Major Parmenter."

What are you talking about?

Sarge, you know the
regulations as well as I do.

They never have a fort
commander over the rank of captain.

My golly, he's right.
I forgot all about that.

I was so interested in
his getting a promotion.

If Wilton makes major,
he'll be transferred?

- That's right.
- Now, that...

is the saddest
thing I've ever heard.

When he comes through the
door, maybe I oughta play "Taps."

I told you, Dobbs,

not where there's open food.

All right. Will you
cut it out, you two?

I don't need crying,
and I'm not a...

But I'm gonna lose Wilton.

We're all gonna lose him.

Who's going to lose whom?

Oh, Wilton.

Oh, you're still a captain.

The captain failed.

Hip hip hooray!

I mean, what a shame, sir.

Well, I did my best, men,

and I'm sorry I
let you all down.

Oh, sir, those men
at headquarters

wouldn't know a good
officer if they saw one.

It's just that I'm sorry
I spoiled your party.

You didn't spoil anything, sir.

We were covering all bets.

I'll go set up the beer.

Ah, good, Dobbs, good.

Oh, I almost forgot, Jane.

Here... Here...

Here's a little something I
got for you in Dodge City.

Oh, Wilton, what a
beautiful handkerchief.

Thank you.

Jane, please not in
front of a keg of beer.

You dropped this, sir.

Oh. I can see you
already read it, sergeant.

I'm sorry, sir. I, uh... I
didn't know what it was.

What is it, Wilton?

Well, I guess you'd all find
out about it sooner or later.

He passed the test, Janey,

but he turned down the promotion

because he found
out he'd be transferred.

Well, I wasn't about
to leave Fort Courage.

Not when I've
got the finest troop

in the United States Cavalry.

Hey, well, now,

we'll certainly
drink to that, sir.

I did it again.

I'm sorry, captain. I... I...

That's all right, corporal.

Are you all right?

Jane, I think you'd better whip
up another batch of that soup.

What's going on, sergeant?

Excuse me, sir,
I've ordered the men

to be absolutely quiet

so that Corporal Agarn can
study the soldier's manual.

Yes, he's going
to take that test

for his promotion to sergeant.

That's right, sir.

That certainly is a unique way

of keeping the fort quiet.

Captain, sir, sarge. I
think I've got it memorized.

Oh?

Uh, give us the
second general order.

Hearing and sight within place

takes that everything
observing and alert

the on always keeping,

manner military a
in post my walk to.

Very good, corporal, very good.

Now give it to us forwards.

I knew there was
something I forgot.