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♪ The end of the
Civil War Was near ♪
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00:00:05,723 --> 00:00:09,036
♪ When quite accidentally ♪
3
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:11,321
♪ A hero who sneezed
Abruptly seized ♪
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,362
♪ Retreat And
reversed it to victory ♪
5
00:00:16,533 --> 00:00:19,146
♪ His Medal of Honor
Pleased and thrilled ♪
6
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,090
♪ His proud little
Family group ♪
7
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,601
♪ While pinning it on
Some blood was spilled ♪
8
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,136
♪ And so it was
planned He'd command ♪
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00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,672
♪ F Troop! ♪
10
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,675
♪ Where Indian fights
Are colorful sights ♪
11
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,677
♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪
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00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:36,980
♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪
13
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:39,649
♪ Both turn chicken ♪
14
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,685
♪ When drilling and
fighting Get them down ♪
15
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,487
♪ They know their
morale Can't droop ♪
16
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,173
♪ As long as they
all Relax in town ♪
17
00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:50,877
♪ Before they resume
With a bang and a boom ♪
18
00:00:50,901 --> 00:00:52,817
♪ F Troop! ♪
19
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:41,015
Dobbs, blow "Assembly."
20
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,654
All right, Agarn. Get
them some kind of a line.
21
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:52,689
All right, F Troop!
22
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,455
Ten-hut!
23
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,103
At ease, men, at ease.
24
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,404
Gentleman,
25
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:10,273
we are in receipt of an
important communication
26
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:14,411
from Washington, from
the secretary of war.
27
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,312
"Communiqué number one.
28
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,515
"Other communiqués to follow.
29
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,884
"Because of your
outstanding record,
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00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,051
"your distinction,
31
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:25,005
"and the superb troops
under your command,
32
00:02:25,029 --> 00:02:28,542
"F Troop has been selected
for a most secret project
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00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:31,210
"vital to the interests
of this country.
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00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,946
"I am sure the men of F Troop
35
00:02:32,970 --> 00:02:35,649
will make this a
great achievement."
36
00:02:35,673 --> 00:02:38,707
Signed by the secretary of war.
37
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:41,855
Well, Jenkins,
what do you think?
38
00:02:41,879 --> 00:02:43,923
It's fine, Mr. Secretary.
39
00:02:43,947 --> 00:02:45,325
Dummy isn't scratched.
40
00:02:45,349 --> 00:02:48,394
Yes, well, the big question
is whether or not this vest
41
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,231
is going to be
bulletproof... in action.
42
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,366
You sure that Fort Courage
will be the best place?
43
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:55,568
Yes, it's a remote
military installation.
44
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,670
It'll be much easier to
maintain security there.
45
00:02:57,694 --> 00:03:00,473
You understand, of course,
this vest must be tested
46
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:03,442
with absolute security
and absolute secrecy.
47
00:03:03,466 --> 00:03:05,378
Now, if the Indians
ever got hold of that,
48
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,380
we might loss
control of the West.
49
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:10,183
Of course, sir, if these
bulletproof vests don't work,
50
00:03:10,207 --> 00:03:12,018
we may lose some
of the men of F Troop.
51
00:03:12,042 --> 00:03:14,888
That is precisely
why I select them.
52
00:03:14,912 --> 00:03:17,223
Then Fort Courage it is, sir.
53
00:03:17,247 --> 00:03:19,458
Yes, I've already alerted
the fort commander.
54
00:03:19,482 --> 00:03:20,793
Oh, one thing more, Jenkins.
55
00:03:20,817 --> 00:03:22,695
To protect our security there,
56
00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:24,630
I've contacted our
intelligence people.
57
00:03:24,654 --> 00:03:27,166
They've assigned a
top agent to this project,
58
00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:29,435
an expert in counterespionage.
59
00:03:32,095 --> 00:03:33,672
Who would that be, sir?
60
00:03:33,696 --> 00:03:36,142
Jenkins, this agent's
work is so secret
61
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,477
that even I am kept
in the dark about it.
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00:03:38,501 --> 00:03:41,061
Well, you can have
that removed now.
63
00:03:43,873 --> 00:03:45,807
Orderly.
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00:03:46,776 --> 00:03:48,872
Remove the dummy.
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00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:52,008
I cannot emphasize
this enough, Jenkins.
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00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,610
The Indians must never
get word of this experiment.
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00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,479
All they need is a new weapon.
68
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:57,947
They are almost in revolt now,
69
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,548
itching at the trigger.
70
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,719
Those Indians
are at fever pitch.
71
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,893
The moccasins are great
for dancing, ain't they, chief?
72
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,596
Moccasin too tight.
73
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,948
You got something
in 10 and a half?
74
00:04:14,972 --> 00:04:17,067
Show him the ones
with the tassels. Right.
75
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,535
How come paleface make moccasin?
76
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,336
You try to run us
out of business?
77
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,523
Look, Crazy Cat, we can make
them cheaper, lots cheaper.
78
00:04:23,547 --> 00:04:25,041
We got modern machinery.
79
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,576
You got machinery?
80
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,379
How come it say
"made in Hong Kong"?
81
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,331
Huh? CRAZY CAT:
Got them in white?
82
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:32,665
Wait, wait.
83
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,267
If anybody wear
white, me wear white.
84
00:04:35,291 --> 00:04:37,087
Me still chief.
85
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:41,391
White would look great
with that outfit you're wearing.
86
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,193
Wild Eagle make up mind.
87
00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:45,828
Me take two white,
two black. Ah.
88
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:46,996
Make take same thing.
89
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,232
Same thing. All right,
two white, two black.
90
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,067
Here we go. There we are.
91
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,687
And here we are.
92
00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:56,906
Come on, let's get back to camp
before the captain misses us.
93
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:57,907
So long, chief.
94
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,341
So long, Crazy Cat. Ho.
95
00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,730
Hekawi have wise
old Indian saying:
96
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,301
Me never hear that one.
97
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:28,337
It mean, Chinese
moccasin feel good
98
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,739
right after you put it on,
99
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:33,242
but one hour later,
feet hurt again.
100
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:36,362
Now, gentlemen, according
to communiqué number two,
101
00:05:36,386 --> 00:05:38,464
which I've just received
from Washington,
102
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:40,266
a box will arrive for
us on the stagecoach.
103
00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:42,535
Yes, sir. AGARN: You
know what's inside?
104
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,259
Yes, it...
105
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:47,573
It's a secret weapon.
106
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:48,707
I want you to place it
107
00:05:48,731 --> 00:05:50,698
under lock and key
immediately. Right, sir.
108
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,766
Ho.
109
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,290
Ho.
110
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,770
Captain Parmenter? Here.
111
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,104
That there crate's for you.
112
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:03,373
Oh, good, good.
113
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,475
Uh, you may remove the
crate, sergeant, corporal.
114
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,299
Oh, yes, sir.
115
00:06:14,991 --> 00:06:17,303
I'm Miss Lorelei Duval. Oh.
116
00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:19,522
Uh, I'm Captain Parmenter.
117
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,756
Welcome to Fort Courage.
118
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:22,074
Thank you, captain.
119
00:06:22,098 --> 00:06:23,610
I'm the new school marm.
120
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,995
Oh. Uh... Oh, this is
Sergeant O'Rourke.
121
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,797
How do you do,
ma'am? How do you do?
122
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,916
Well, you men know what to do.
123
00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:31,183
Good afternoon, Miss Duval.
124
00:06:31,207 --> 00:06:32,952
Carry on, sergeant. Corporal.
125
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,219
Yes, sir.
126
00:06:34,243 --> 00:06:36,155
No schoolteacher sure
never looked like you
127
00:06:36,179 --> 00:06:37,156
when I went to school.
128
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:38,458
They was so old,
129
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:40,460
they didn't teach history,
they remembered it.
130
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,148
Introduce me.
131
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,883
Uh, oh, Miss Duval, this...
132
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,086
He's one of the fellows
that works for me.
133
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,354
Corporal Agarn, ma'am.
134
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,755
How do you do?
135
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:55,141
My, you soldiers certainly
do work hard, don't you?
136
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,527
We're in a special detail.
137
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,646
This is a new secret
weapon. We gotta locked it up.
138
00:07:01,939 --> 00:07:03,282
Well, it's the truth ain't it?
139
00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:06,252
Well, the military life
always fascinates me.
140
00:07:06,276 --> 00:07:08,655
I was wondering if, perhaps,
you will allow me to conduct
141
00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:11,207
some classes for the soldiers
in the evening, sergeant.
142
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,575
Well, ma'am, uh, I'm afraid,
143
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,828
Captain Parmenter
would have to pass on that.
144
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:17,897
Oh, uh, I'm sure a gentleman as
charming as Captain Parmenter
145
00:07:17,921 --> 00:07:19,199
wouldn't refuse me.
146
00:07:19,223 --> 00:07:21,100
In fact, I think I'll go
and ask him right now.
147
00:07:21,124 --> 00:07:22,568
Good day, gentleman.
148
00:07:22,592 --> 00:07:23,592
Good day, ma'am.
149
00:07:25,795 --> 00:07:27,874
Now, what does
she want with Wilton?
150
00:07:27,898 --> 00:07:29,943
Yeah, well, she's the new
school marm, Wrangler,
151
00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:31,811
she wants to give some
lessons to the troop.
152
00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:33,880
Oh, well, let her teach
the troop all she wants.
153
00:07:33,904 --> 00:07:35,648
But if Wilton is about
to learn anything,
154
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,517
he can just make up his
mind to learn from me.
155
00:07:42,412 --> 00:07:43,956
"Dear, inspector general,
156
00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:46,192
"we have received
your instructions.
157
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,995
Rest assured the secret is..."
158
00:07:51,988 --> 00:07:53,866
Ow.
159
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,123
Just a minute.
160
00:08:06,336 --> 00:08:09,448
Captain Parmenter, I believe?
161
00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:11,016
Yes, at your service, ma'am.
162
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,819
Are we alone?
163
00:08:13,843 --> 00:08:17,122
Why, uh... Yes, ma'am.
164
00:08:17,146 --> 00:08:18,224
Ha-ha!
165
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,725
B Wise is the name.
166
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,427
Espionage is my game.
167
00:08:21,451 --> 00:08:24,063
I fooled you with one
of my many disguises.
168
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:26,900
That's why they call me
the man of a thousand faces.
169
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,985
I find that a little
hard to believe.
170
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,570
Would you believe 850?
171
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:33,305
May I ask what are you doing
here in Fort Courage, Mr. Wise.
172
00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:35,291
I am from Washington.
Counterintelligence.
173
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,160
I'm assigned to protect
the secret weapon.
174
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,217
My badge, sir.
175
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,333
Very clever.
176
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:46,257
You like clever?
I'll show you clever.
177
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,133
Sorry about that.
178
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,850
Now, when communiqué
number three arrives,
179
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,284
we'll have our instructions.
180
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:03,987
Uh, where will you be?
181
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:04,988
Where will I be?
182
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,990
I'm here, I'm there.
183
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,291
I'm everywhere.
184
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,848
So beware. B Wise.
185
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:20,870
We're very lucky, gentlemen.
186
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,071
Why is that, captain?
187
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,374
Washington has
sent its top man here.
188
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:25,741
They did?
189
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,465
Come on.
190
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,974
He's a... Oh!
191
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,956
He's a counterespionage
agent named B Wise.
192
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,958
He's on the look out for
anyone trying to find out
193
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,125
about that secret weapon.
194
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,127
Now, we have to do
everything we can to help him.
195
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,112
What does he look like?
196
00:09:46,136 --> 00:09:47,113
He's fantastic.
197
00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:48,481
He's a man of a thousand faces.
198
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:49,949
He... He showed
me his belt buckle,
199
00:09:49,973 --> 00:09:52,334
and... And then he took off
his shoe, and he shot the lamp.
200
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,636
He showed you his belt buckle,
201
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,456
then took off his shoe
and shot the lamp?
202
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,658
Yes. Are you all right, captain?
203
00:09:58,682 --> 00:09:59,792
I'm fine, I'm fine.
204
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,210
He said we have
to be on the alert.
205
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,362
Some rascals might try to
find out about this weapon
206
00:10:03,386 --> 00:10:05,031
and tell the Indians.
207
00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:07,215
Oh, yeah, I'll get it.
208
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,536
Uh... Well, Miss
Lorelei, come in.
209
00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:14,006
Well, how do you
do, Miss Lorelei?
210
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,608
Forgive me,
captain, for intruding,
211
00:10:15,632 --> 00:10:17,610
but I was wondering if
you reached any decision
212
00:10:17,634 --> 00:10:19,211
regarding my
teaching at the fort.
213
00:10:19,235 --> 00:10:22,448
Oh, now, how could I
forgotten a thing like that?
214
00:10:22,472 --> 00:10:24,751
Now, a-as soon as I look up
schoolteachers in my manual,
215
00:10:24,775 --> 00:10:26,035
I'll let you know right away.
216
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,737
Well, I do hope it
will be permitted.
217
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:31,074
In any case, as local teacher
and you as commanding officer,
218
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,209
I do think we should
become better acquainted.
219
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,144
Uh, I'll try, but you
must remember
220
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:38,047
that my first
obligation is to my men.
221
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,799
And their horses.
222
00:10:39,823 --> 00:10:41,417
I'll be waiting to
hear from you.
223
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,841
I'll escort you
home, Miss Lorelei.
224
00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:46,806
You?
225
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:49,842
I will escort her home.
226
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:52,199
Pulling rank, huh, sarge?
227
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,299
Buenos dias, señor.
228
00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:01,971
Listen, do you have a few
pesos for a poor old bullfighter,
229
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:05,041
who has been on the
horns of a bull too long?
230
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,442
Oh, why, certainly, my good man.
231
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,511
Fooled you again, didn't I?
232
00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:10,579
Right? Right.
233
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,949
Because I'm a
master of deception.
234
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:14,683
Why, I get up in the
morning sometimes
235
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:16,285
and shave the wrong man.
236
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,188
Did...? Did you find
out anything, Mr. Wise?
237
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,256
Yes, I did.
238
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,824
I don't mind telling
you confidently
239
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,794
that my number one
suspect is Miss Lorelei Duval.
240
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,528
The schoolteacher?
241
00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:27,547
Very interesting.
242
00:11:27,571 --> 00:11:28,965
Well, what made you suspect her?
243
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:32,901
I saw a pair of ruby-red
lips, soft white shoulders,
244
00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:35,904
long shapely legs, wearing
a black-lace negligee.
245
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:37,606
Now, does that
sound like your typical,
246
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,740
everyday schoolteacher?
247
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:41,194
You can bet your
sweet tooth it doesn't.
248
00:11:41,218 --> 00:11:42,295
Hm.
249
00:11:42,319 --> 00:11:45,864
Red lips, white
shoulders, shapely legs,
250
00:11:45,888 --> 00:11:47,633
it does sound dangerous.
251
00:11:47,657 --> 00:11:49,868
Sounds nice... Uh, but
dangerous, dangerous.
252
00:11:49,892 --> 00:11:50,903
Uh, shall we arrest her?
253
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:51,904
No, not yet.
254
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,005
We need concrete evidence
255
00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:54,407
that she's really a spy.
256
00:11:54,431 --> 00:11:56,909
Now, I'll be watching
her every moment.
257
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,801
The first move she
makes, she'll get this.
258
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,331
Your tie? Mm-hm.
259
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:03,398
Not a regular tie.
260
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,567
You see, I use it
when my shoe jams.
261
00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:09,655
All you do is... turn it open...
262
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:13,664
then take down the
safety... and you fire.
263
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,013
Sorry about that.
264
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,247
It's all right.
265
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,017
Hm, I'll show her not
to get smart with B Wise.
266
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,908
Now, duty calls.
267
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,444
I'm sorry about that, sir.
268
00:12:41,778 --> 00:12:43,822
Just a trim, Dobbs.
Nothing off the top.
269
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,391
All right, corporal.
270
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:48,193
♪ Lorelei, Lorelei ♪
271
00:12:48,217 --> 00:12:52,164
♪ Without you I
would die Lorelei ♪
272
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,199
Hey, Agarn, pal.
273
00:12:54,223 --> 00:12:56,034
Listen, would you do me a favor?
274
00:12:56,058 --> 00:12:57,035
Sure, sarge.
275
00:12:57,059 --> 00:12:58,203
Well, the captain asked me
276
00:12:58,227 --> 00:13:00,172
to stand guard on that
secret weapon tonight.
277
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,907
I was wondering if
you'd take my place.
278
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:03,376
Oh, gee, sarge, I can't tonight.
279
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,677
I'm going out with the fellas.
280
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,679
You... The fellas?
281
00:13:07,937 --> 00:13:10,082
With all that bay rum?
282
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:11,884
You heard the speech
the captain made
283
00:13:11,908 --> 00:13:14,119
about how we don't look right.
284
00:13:14,143 --> 00:13:17,323
In fact, Dobbs, I think you
ought to give me a shave.
285
00:13:17,347 --> 00:13:18,557
Yeah.
286
00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:21,560
Well, in that case,
heh, you'll need this.
287
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,818
To you, sweet lady
Of infinite grace
288
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:32,643
Perfect of figure
Fairest of face
289
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,126
Is that an original
poem, corporal?
290
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,227
Not exactly.
291
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,129
I seen it once in a
mail-order catalog.
292
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,399
It was a... An ad for some
fancy-smelling bath soap.
293
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,100
Well, it's the
thought that counts.
294
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:46,101
Right.
295
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:47,269
Here's to your new venture.
296
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,260
May it be a great success.
297
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:52,041
My venture?
298
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,276
Oh, you mean, the
new secret weapon?
299
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,477
I can't tell you about that.
300
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,878
Oh, of course not.
301
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,880
I do hope the tests go well.
302
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:00,115
Will they be soon?
303
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:03,785
Tomorrow. But I can't
tell you about that neither.
304
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:05,454
You must have nerves of steel.
305
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,356
To think the
testing is tomorrow,
306
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:10,659
and you're so relaxed
at a moment like this.
307
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,528
I ain't so relaxed. I
got goose bumps.
308
00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,097
Wanna see 'em?
309
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,753
Lookie here.
310
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,850
Communiqué number three, sir.
311
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,451
Oh, thank you, sergeant.
312
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:38,175
Mm. Mm-hm.
313
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:41,924
Ah. So that's it.
314
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,726
Is everything secure, sergeant?
315
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,794
Yes, sir, I just turned
the guard over to Dobbs.
316
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,130
Good, good. We can't
take too many precautions.
317
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,465
Not when we're dealing
with secret weapons, we can't.
318
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:53,002
Now, as soon as Dobbs
stands his watch we...
319
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,946
Uh, can I help you, ma'am?
320
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,382
What's that?
321
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,151
Ha-ha! I fooled you again.
322
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,655
Oh, sergeant this is B
Wise of counter intelligence.
323
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,056
B, this is Sergeant O'Rourke.
324
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,825
This no time for introduction.
325
00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,726
Why, at this very moment,
down at the saloon,
326
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,829
the school teacher is
luring your Corporal Agarn
327
00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:21,030
down the path of treason.
328
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,832
She's what? That
little double cross...
329
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:23,966
Caution. Caution.
330
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,267
We can only observe them.
331
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:26,735
We can't apprehend her yet.
332
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,570
We'll have to let
things cook for a while,
333
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,340
and then we'll see what's
at the bottom of the pot.
334
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,875
Good thinking.
Sergeant, you and I
335
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,476
will go and see
what we can find out.
336
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:37,112
While I remain inconspicuously
in the background.
337
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,085
Shall we go, sergeant,
and see for ourselves?
338
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,720
There's nothing I
would like better.
339
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,622
I do hope you won't
be hurt tomorrow
340
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,890
when you test
whatever's in that big box.
341
00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:50,992
What's in it? Do you know?
342
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,695
Only Captain Parmenter knows.
343
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,930
But let's not talk about that.
344
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,333
Let's talk about
more important things
345
00:15:57,357 --> 00:16:00,068
like... you and... me.
346
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:02,192
Kiss me, Lorelei.
347
00:16:08,818 --> 00:16:09,895
Well, it's Lorelei.
348
00:16:09,919 --> 00:16:11,062
So nice to see you, captain.
349
00:16:11,086 --> 00:16:12,331
Good evening, Miss Lorelei.
350
00:16:12,355 --> 00:16:14,250
Join me in a bottle
of champagne?
351
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,417
Uh, no, no, thank you.
352
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:16,619
I never touch it.
353
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:17,986
Oh, uh, yeah, yeah.
354
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:20,822
Don't mind if I do.
355
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,463
Champagne and brandy, please.
356
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,798
It must be fascinating
to be the head
357
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,200
of a great military
establishment like this.
358
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:35,504
What a feeling of power,
to have your own army.
359
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,439
Oh, well, it isn't mine, really.
360
00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:40,742
It's sort of belongs to
the United States cavalry.
361
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:44,936
I just sort of think of myself
as, oh, helping them out.
362
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:53,688
Oh, isn't that awfully strong?
363
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:56,058
Oh, well, then let me
dilute it with a little brandy.
364
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:58,515
That'll make it a French 75.
365
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,897
French 75?
366
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,899
That's a name
of a special drink.
367
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,802
Something like, um...
cherry phosphate.
368
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,592
Oh. I like those.
369
00:17:20,924 --> 00:17:24,236
Not as sweet as my
usual cherry phosphate,
370
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,860
but it does have
a certain charm.
371
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,708
Oh! Oh!
372
00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:31,010
Oh, what a shame.
373
00:17:31,034 --> 00:17:32,611
Oh, please forgive me.
374
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,779
Oh, I'm so sorry.
375
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:34,914
No, no, no.
376
00:17:34,938 --> 00:17:36,415
That's all right. No harm done.
377
00:17:36,439 --> 00:17:38,968
But the champagne and
brandy often leaves spots.
378
00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:41,370
I have something that'll
take it off immediately.
379
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,737
I'll go get it. No, really.
380
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:44,440
I don't think
anything's damaged.
381
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,041
Oh, but I insist.
382
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,611
Think of all the years I wasted
drinking cherry phosphate.
383
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,280
Captain, did you
find out anything?
384
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,932
Well, she's gone.
385
00:17:52,956 --> 00:17:54,200
But don't worry. Never fear.
386
00:17:54,224 --> 00:17:56,018
Just be glad B Wise is here.
387
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,653
Did she find out anything?
388
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,923
Oh, no, no. I have the
orders right here in...
389
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,324
Oh, my goodness.
390
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,826
She stole the orders?
391
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,460
Communiqué number three?
392
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,462
She must have done that
when she dried you off..
393
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:08,964
Well, it's not
your fault, captain.
394
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,066
You didn't do anything.
You didn't say anything.
395
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,335
You we were just sitting
there, drinking with the spy,
396
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,503
then she stole your papers.
397
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,238
In the end, nothing's the matter
398
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,174
except the firing
squad. That's all.
399
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,575
Don't be concerned, gentleman.
400
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,842
This is exactly what we want.
401
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,211
Now she'll show up at the test,
402
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,845
reveal her hand,
and we'll seize her.
403
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,047
What time is the test?
404
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,682
Uh, 11 tomorrow morning.
405
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,950
Good. I'll be there, and
she'll never get away alive
406
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,854
because I'll get her with
my cannonball suspender.
407
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,911
Watch this, Parmenter.
408
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,561
Ah-ha!
409
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:40,618
Now I'll go for the spare.
410
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,785
Ha-ha! Chalk up
another one for B Wise.
411
00:18:46,809 --> 00:18:49,289
At intelligence school, I
majored in suspender ball.
412
00:18:53,916 --> 00:18:57,296
Gentleman, we are about to begin
413
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,049
a most secret experiment.
414
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:01,616
It's in this crate.
415
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,485
Now, I know that the
sergeant has warned you
416
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:04,953
about never discussing it.
417
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,923
Now, I will need one volunteer.
418
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,680
One of you to test the weapon.
419
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:17,699
That lucky volunteer will get a
14-day furlough to Dodge City.
420
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,002
That's for me, captain.
421
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:22,704
I'll do it, sir. I'll do it.
422
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,105
Now, wait a minute, Duffy.
423
00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:26,375
See them two stripes?
I'm a corporal. I'll do it.
424
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,743
I volunteered first, sir.
425
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,244
How dare you
back sass me, Duffy!
426
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:30,312
I'm gonna test it.
427
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,380
You are, huh? Yeah.
428
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,581
Count these.
429
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,949
I'm the sergeant,
and I'm gonna test it.
430
00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:36,551
I'm proud of you, men.
431
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,119
Now, the weapon
that's in this crate
432
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:39,371
that we're about to try out
433
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,740
has never really been tried
before with a human being.
434
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,141
Please, captain, let us try.
435
00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:44,309
I wanna try.
436
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:46,611
Hold it, you guys,
for the last time.
437
00:19:46,635 --> 00:19:48,597
Now, it's final. I
am gonna do it.
438
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,732
It's a bulletproof vest.
439
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,268
That's it. I'm
gonna take this gun
440
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:55,837
and fire these six
bullets into that vest.
441
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,706
Now, who is gonna put it on?
442
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,441
I never wear vests.
443
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,043
Duffy, you may open the crate.
444
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,347
Yes, sir.
445
00:20:08,090 --> 00:20:11,186
Now, our orders read that
one member of the troop
446
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,789
should put on the
vest, walk 10 feet away,
447
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,557
turn and face the squad,
448
00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:17,731
which will then
open fire upon him.
449
00:20:19,669 --> 00:20:20,912
Now, where are you going?
450
00:20:20,936 --> 00:20:22,648
Back to our quarters
to get my riffle.
451
00:20:22,672 --> 00:20:24,316
Stand where you are.
452
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:26,735
Dobbs, where would you be going?
453
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,270
Uh, to get my bugle.
454
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:29,588
I might have to blow "Taps."
455
00:20:29,612 --> 00:20:30,855
Stay right there.
456
00:20:30,879 --> 00:20:33,792
Vanderbilt, what are you up to?
457
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:36,195
If I'm gonna shoot at
anybody from 10 feet,
458
00:20:36,219 --> 00:20:38,013
I better go get
my other glasses.
459
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,314
Don't any of you move.
460
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,849
Stay right where you are.
461
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,985
Attention, gentlemen. Line up.
462
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,019
Line up.
463
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:45,237
All right. Do what he says.
464
00:20:45,261 --> 00:20:48,274
The honor of F
Troop is at stake here.
465
00:20:48,298 --> 00:20:50,208
Now, Washington
expects one of our men
466
00:20:50,232 --> 00:20:51,577
to test out this weapon,
467
00:20:51,601 --> 00:20:54,402
and I want that man to
take three steps forward.
468
00:20:57,407 --> 00:20:59,468
My congratulations, corporal.
469
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,769
Oh, now, this is no
time for false modesty.
470
00:21:01,793 --> 00:21:04,089
I am proud to call you my buddy.
471
00:21:04,113 --> 00:21:06,191
Have you seen our
suspect, Miss Lorelei?
472
00:21:06,215 --> 00:21:07,593
No, no sign of her yet.
473
00:21:07,617 --> 00:21:09,394
Well, she may be
armed and dangerous.
474
00:21:09,418 --> 00:21:11,964
Captain Parmenter, I want you
to guard the door on that side.
475
00:21:11,988 --> 00:21:14,550
Sergeant O'Rourke, I want you
to guard the door on that side.
476
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:15,951
Agarn you stand in the middle.
477
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:18,320
As for myself, I'll be in a
dark corner somewhere,
478
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:21,912
out of harm's way. After
all, this was my plan.
479
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:24,977
We shall now proceed.
480
00:21:25,001 --> 00:21:26,544
Agarn, put on the
bullet proof vest.
481
00:21:26,568 --> 00:21:27,779
It'll never work.
482
00:21:27,803 --> 00:21:28,997
Why not? It's not my size.
483
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:30,883
Oh, relax, will ya?
Nothing's gonna happen.
484
00:21:30,907 --> 00:21:32,284
Now, is there
anything I get you?
485
00:21:32,308 --> 00:21:34,486
Maybe a blindfold, a cigarette?
486
00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,054
Attention!
487
00:21:36,078 --> 00:21:37,623
Lemme see here.
488
00:21:37,647 --> 00:21:40,358
The vest... properly on.
489
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,212
Now, are you ready, corporal?
490
00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:44,913
Ready?
491
00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:46,481
Aah!
492
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:47,683
They got me.
493
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:48,983
What a way to go.
494
00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:50,785
The victim of a leaky vest.
495
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,221
Oh, stand up, will you?
496
00:21:52,245 --> 00:21:53,655
You're all right.
497
00:21:53,679 --> 00:21:55,090
Now we're gonna shoot.
498
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:56,458
Now you're gonna shoot?
499
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:57,726
I hope I'm not interrupting,
500
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,178
but I thought you
might need this.
501
00:21:59,202 --> 00:22:01,263
I found this envelope,
and I think it's yours.
502
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:02,765
Ah-ha!
503
00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:05,484
You didn't find that envelope
of secret papers, you stole it.
504
00:22:05,508 --> 00:22:07,752
Lorelei Duval, you're
under arrest for espionage.
505
00:22:07,776 --> 00:22:08,953
You didn't fool me with that
506
00:22:08,977 --> 00:22:10,522
impersonation of
a school teacher.
507
00:22:10,546 --> 00:22:12,557
Give me that. Captain,
arrest this woman.
508
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:13,859
Arrest this man.
509
00:22:13,883 --> 00:22:15,561
Arrest this woman.
Arrest this man.
510
00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:17,663
This man. Arrest this woman.
511
00:22:17,687 --> 00:22:19,064
Wait! Wait a minute!
512
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:20,465
What is this?
513
00:22:20,489 --> 00:22:23,118
Captain, I'm from counter
intelligence in Washington.
514
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:24,419
Here's my badge.
515
00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:31,115
You wanna see legs?
I'll show you legs.
516
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:36,382
I don't know whose
legs to believe.
517
00:22:36,406 --> 00:22:40,201
Well, I'm a little
partial to hers, captain.
518
00:22:40,225 --> 00:22:41,853
When Washington
sent you this weapon,
519
00:22:41,877 --> 00:22:43,955
they told me to come out
here and look for traitors.
520
00:22:43,979 --> 00:22:45,724
That's why I've asked
so many questions.
521
00:22:45,748 --> 00:22:47,092
He's the traitor.
522
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:49,761
He wants to sell information
about the weapon to the Indians.
523
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:51,430
Fiddle-faddle!
524
00:22:51,454 --> 00:22:53,699
I know. I know just what to do.
525
00:22:53,723 --> 00:22:55,334
We'll put you both
in the guardhouse,
526
00:22:55,358 --> 00:22:58,770
and then we'll wire Washington
to identify the real counterspy.
527
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,576
Now, don't anyone
go for your guns.
528
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:05,910
Is he kidding?
529
00:23:05,934 --> 00:23:07,112
Don't move, anybody.
530
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:08,535
That shoe is loaded.
531
00:23:09,572 --> 00:23:11,834
You're holding
up the wrong shoe.
532
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,891
It's your left shoe
that has the gun in it.
533
00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:20,876
That was wonderful, captain.
534
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:23,062
What keen observation to
know he had the wrong shoe.
535
00:23:23,086 --> 00:23:25,197
Well, it was nothing, really.
536
00:23:25,221 --> 00:23:27,621
I knew all along this
wasn't his gun shoe.
537
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:31,019
Well, I hope you're
satisfied, captain.
538
00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:33,254
You've just captured
an honest, hard-working,
539
00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:36,241
conscientious traitor.
Ruin my whole day.
540
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,200
All right, Agarn, let's
get him out of here.
541
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,804
Gentleman, I am happy to report
542
00:23:49,828 --> 00:23:51,640
that we've heard
from Washington.
543
00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:53,942
B Wise was indeed a traitor
544
00:23:53,966 --> 00:23:56,945
and has been turned
over to the proper authority.
545
00:23:56,969 --> 00:23:58,847
We shall now
proceed with the testing
546
00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:00,949
of the bulletproof
vest. All set, corporal?
547
00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:04,575
Humina, humina,
humina... All right. Ready!
548
00:24:06,345 --> 00:24:08,812
Aim... fire.
549
00:24:11,817 --> 00:24:14,028
Am I all right?
550
00:24:14,052 --> 00:24:18,099
I told you, pal, there's
nothing for you to worry about.
551
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:21,403
See? Now, I'll just send
this vest off to Washington.
552
00:24:21,427 --> 00:24:24,239
And we... Wait a second.
553
00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:26,408
There aren't any
bullet marks on this.
554
00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:29,411
You mean to tell me that
nobody hit him from 10 feet?
555
00:24:29,435 --> 00:24:31,413
Where'd all the bullets go?
556
00:24:31,437 --> 00:24:33,181
Ooh. Ooh.
557
00:24:34,273 --> 00:24:36,273
Captain, there.
37748
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