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♪ The end of the
Civil War Was near ♪
2
00:00:05,723 --> 00:00:09,036
♪ When quite accidentally ♪
3
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:11,321
♪ A hero who sneezed
Abruptly seized ♪
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,362
♪ Retreat And
reversed it to victory ♪
5
00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:19,146
♪ His Medal of Honor
Pleased and thrilled ♪
6
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,090
♪ His proud little
Family group ♪
7
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,601
♪ While pinning it on
Some blood was spilled ♪
8
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,136
♪ And so it was
planned He'd command ♪
9
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,672
♪ F Troop! ♪
10
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,675
♪ Where Indian fights
Are colorful sights ♪
11
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,677
♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪
12
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:36,980
♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪
13
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:39,649
♪ Both turn chicken ♪
14
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,685
♪ When drilling and
fighting Get them down ♪
15
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,487
♪ They know their
morale Can't droop ♪
16
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,741
♪ As long as they
all Relax in town ♪
17
00:00:47,765 --> 00:00:50,877
♪ Before they resume
With a bang and a boom ♪
18
00:00:50,901 --> 00:00:52,817
♪ F Troop! ♪
19
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,622
Come in.
20
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,650
Uh, you wanted to
see me, sergeant?
21
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:48,518
Oh, yes, sir. This
just came for you, sir.
22
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,487
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
23
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,560
Let me see.
24
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,994
Oh, it's about our
new replacement.
25
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,696
He'll be coming in
on the next stage.
26
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,115
We'll meet him, sir, and
give him a briefing, as it were.
27
00:02:02,139 --> 00:02:04,501
Good. His name is
Private Leonard W. Starr.
28
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:08,588
Did you say "Leonard W. Starr"?
29
00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:10,156
That's what it
says here, corporal.
30
00:02:10,180 --> 00:02:11,258
Wrongo!
31
00:02:11,282 --> 00:02:13,093
"Wrongo"?
32
00:02:13,117 --> 00:02:14,394
Wrongo, sir.
33
00:02:14,418 --> 00:02:17,063
Leonard W. Starr
is Wrongo Starr.
34
00:02:17,087 --> 00:02:19,966
We're getting him,
captain? Wrongo Starr?
35
00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:21,635
Well, what does
that mean, corporal?
36
00:02:21,659 --> 00:02:23,169
Do you know his record, sir?
37
00:02:23,193 --> 00:02:25,171
No.
38
00:02:25,195 --> 00:02:27,073
He has been with four outfits,
39
00:02:27,097 --> 00:02:29,475
and the luckiest was
with General Custer
40
00:02:29,499 --> 00:02:30,849
at the Little Bighorn.
41
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,564
Captain, I tell you,
this man is bad news.
42
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,699
He is a jinx.
43
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,466
Oh, now, sergeant.
44
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,702
That's ridiculous.
45
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,070
There's no such thing as a jinx.
46
00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,705
He used to be in
the Navy, captain.
47
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,040
The first three ships they
put him on went down.
48
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,042
Then they transferred
him to the cavalry.
49
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:49,312
First day there, his horse died.
50
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,513
That's all coincidence.
51
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:51,681
A horse could die anytime.
52
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,166
Of chicken pox?
53
00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:56,336
Yeah, though, that's...
That's just a silly rumor.
54
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,505
Captain, that may be,
55
00:02:58,529 --> 00:03:00,489
but I wanna tell you...
56
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,896
Sergeant, the stage
is due any minute.
57
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,252
I suggest you meet it.
58
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,402
Hey, hey. Whoa.
59
00:03:28,058 --> 00:03:29,236
What happened?
60
00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:31,071
Darndest thing I ever saw.
61
00:03:31,095 --> 00:03:32,873
One of the stagecoach wheels
62
00:03:32,897 --> 00:03:34,741
fell off coming
outta Kansas City.
63
00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:37,132
Driver got knocked
clear outta the seat.
64
00:03:38,502 --> 00:03:40,480
Are you Wrongo Starr?
65
00:03:40,504 --> 00:03:41,586
Yes, sir.
66
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,302
Well, Wrongo, I am
Sergeant O'Rourke
67
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,721
and this here is Corporal Agarn.
68
00:03:47,745 --> 00:03:49,560
Oh. Hi, fellas.
69
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:53,298
I'm so happy to meet all of you.
70
00:03:56,052 --> 00:03:59,900
Would one of you kind gentlemen
please help me with my bags?
71
00:03:59,924 --> 00:04:01,234
I'd be delighted, ma'am.
72
00:04:01,258 --> 00:04:03,036
I'm afraid I have
rather a lot of luggage.
73
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:04,737
I'm planning to open
a knickknack shop
74
00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:06,623
and I brought along
some of my merchandise.
75
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,025
Open a shop here, huh,
ma'am? Well, perhaps you and I
76
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,949
can do a little
business together.
77
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:14,136
Perhaps.
78
00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:21,893
It started already.
79
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,810
Yeah, I know what you mean.
80
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,213
I'm sorry. I'm just
plain hard luck.
81
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:32,215
Well, that's why
they call me Wrongo.
82
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,873
Everywhere I go,
things go wrong.
83
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,389
I hope not, knock on wood.
84
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,462
Private, I'm sure
85
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,430
that if we check into
this jinx business a bit,
86
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,798
we'll be able
to clear it all up.
87
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,500
Now, when did it first start?
88
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,767
Well, sir,
89
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:54,837
it all began even before
I got into the service.
90
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,640
I was riding shotgun
on a stagecoach.
91
00:04:57,664 --> 00:05:01,044
The Indians was
attacking, and by accident,
92
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,545
I hit their medicine man.
93
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:05,131
Filled his britches
full of buckshot. So?
94
00:05:05,155 --> 00:05:08,868
So the medicine man
put a whammy on me.
95
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,503
An Indian curse.
96
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:13,974
And ever since, wherever
I go, things go wrong.
97
00:05:15,199 --> 00:05:19,161
Soldier... that's
all in your mind.
98
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:22,665
Now, how could you
believe a thing like...?
99
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,267
Like that?
100
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,904
See what I mean?
101
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,939
That's... That's nothing.
102
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,708
That's just a coincidence.
103
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,643
Now, I want you to
forget about the past.
104
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,678
It's over. There's no more jinx.
105
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:38,214
Now, you just keep
saying to yourself,
106
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:41,050
"I am not Wrongo Starr.
107
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,253
I am... Lucky Starr."
108
00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:46,021
Yeah, come here,
please, private.
109
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:51,927
Now, just you keep saying,
"I am not Wrongo Starr.
110
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:54,631
I am Lucky Starr."
111
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,499
Now, repeat that
after me, private.
112
00:05:56,523 --> 00:06:00,002
I am not Wrongo Starr.
113
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:03,139
I am Lucky Starr.
114
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,408
You've got it. By
George, you've got it.
115
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:08,378
I am not Wrongo Starr.
116
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,680
I am Lucky Starr.
117
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,749
Now, are you Wrongo Starr?
118
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:16,941
No. I'm Lucky Starr.
119
00:06:24,201 --> 00:06:25,844
Who put on curse?
120
00:06:25,868 --> 00:06:27,263
What he look like?
121
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,899
Well, he had on a big headdress
122
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,734
with buffalo horns on top.
123
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,003
And all the down the sides,
124
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,505
he wore a cape made out
of colored chicken feathers.
125
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,807
And then around his neck,
126
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,608
he had a necklace
of elk's teeth.
127
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:43,412
And a whole mess of little
bells clumped around his ankle.
128
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,581
And they were tied
by leather thongs.
129
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:49,518
Hm, must be Eastern
tribe. Algonquin, maybe.
130
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:50,787
Always overdress.
131
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,055
Can you do anything, chief?
132
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,524
If this guy Wrongo is
with us one more week,
133
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:56,626
we're gonna get wiped out.
134
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,628
White brothers not worry.
135
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,896
Indian curse big nothing.
136
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,799
Big phony.
137
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,552
You're an Indian
and you say that?
138
00:07:05,576 --> 00:07:07,754
Sure, it take one to know one.
139
00:07:07,778 --> 00:07:10,689
Say, isn't that a
still over there?
140
00:07:10,713 --> 00:07:12,859
Well, oh... No, no, it's, uh...
141
00:07:12,883 --> 00:07:15,427
Well, this here is an
elixir mixer, you see.
142
00:07:15,451 --> 00:07:17,764
That is to make Hekawi tonic.
143
00:07:17,788 --> 00:07:21,834
Yeah. That's why the Hekawi
are so healthy and fearless.
144
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:25,939
Distilled essence
of cactus needle.
145
00:07:25,963 --> 00:07:29,242
That's what I call
spiking the tonic.
146
00:07:29,266 --> 00:07:31,244
We have drink of friendship
147
00:07:31,268 --> 00:07:33,446
and not worry
about Indian curse.
148
00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:35,786
Is big superstition.
Mean nothing.
149
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,766
Now, that what I call a curse.
150
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:02,330
All right, Agarn,
Wrongo, come here.
151
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,579
Now, listen, Wrongo.
152
00:08:06,603 --> 00:08:08,381
You're assigned to
police this compound,
153
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,649
and do me a favor.
154
00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:12,385
Stay as far away from
everybody as you can.
155
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,220
I will. Thanks, sergeant.
156
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,855
All right.
157
00:08:15,879 --> 00:08:16,956
Sarge.
158
00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,057
What?
159
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,626
I got an idea.
Yeah, what's that?
160
00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:22,395
Maybe we could get
Wrongo a... A lucky charm.
161
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,729
A rabbit's foot.
162
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,998
There ain't no rabbit
with that lucky a foot.
163
00:08:26,022 --> 00:08:27,200
A four-leaf clover.
164
00:08:27,224 --> 00:08:28,968
We'd have to get
one as big as a tree.
165
00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:30,169
I know.
166
00:08:30,193 --> 00:08:31,737
That new knickknack
shop in town.
167
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,205
I bet they sell
good-luck charms.
168
00:08:33,229 --> 00:08:35,207
Nah, save your money, Agarn.
169
00:08:35,231 --> 00:08:36,742
No harm in trying, sarge.
170
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,479
Besides, I might pick
up a little something
171
00:08:39,503 --> 00:08:41,814
for Betty Lou, my
girlfriend back in Passaic.
172
00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:45,250
You know, we've been going
steady now for seven years.
173
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,953
And you know, after seven years,
174
00:08:46,977 --> 00:08:48,354
you ought to be
buying her a ring.
175
00:08:51,815 --> 00:08:53,259
Hey, sergeant, you seen Wilton?
176
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,261
He's in his office, I
think. What's the matter?
177
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,429
You know that slinky widow,
178
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,264
the one that opened
the knickknack shop?
179
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,465
Hermione Gooderly.
180
00:08:59,489 --> 00:09:01,267
Yeah. Well, she sure
fits the description
181
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,069
of what came over
the wire. What's that?
182
00:09:03,093 --> 00:09:05,371
Well, if I'm right, she's
wanted in six states.
183
00:09:05,395 --> 00:09:07,707
They call her the
Happy-Go-Lucky Widow.
184
00:09:07,731 --> 00:09:09,709
"The Happy-Go-Lucky Widow"?
185
00:09:09,733 --> 00:09:11,511
Yeah, well, according
to Wrangler Jane,
186
00:09:11,535 --> 00:09:14,180
she sure fits the description
of the Happy-Go-Lucky Widow.
187
00:09:14,204 --> 00:09:17,016
Married four times,
always to a serviceman,
188
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:21,220
and every one of them died under
very mysterious circumstances.
189
00:09:21,244 --> 00:09:23,355
And then she
collected the insurance.
190
00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:25,591
Well, let's not jump to
conclusions, sergeant.
191
00:09:25,615 --> 00:09:27,810
After all, there must be
many women who look like her.
192
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,211
Yeah, well, I just thought
193
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,846
you'd like to
know about it, sir.
194
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,114
Oh, of course. Of course.
195
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,049
And as military
governor of this territory,
196
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:36,084
I'll give her one of my casual
197
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:38,287
but penetrating
cross-examinations
198
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,222
the very next
time I go into town.
199
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,990
However, I'm inclined to believe
200
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:45,294
the widow is merely what she
claims to be. Just a plain or...
201
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,595
Wait a minute.
202
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:48,263
I just thought of something.
203
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:51,300
The Widow Gooderly
came in on same stagecoach
204
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,023
with Wrongo Starr.
205
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,380
How do, ma'am?
206
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,248
Oh, not "ma'am."
207
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:09,985
I'm Hermione Gooderly, but
you may call me Hermione.
208
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:14,424
Well, ma'am, you can just
call me Randolph, ma'am.
209
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,859
Not "ma'am." It's "Miss."
210
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,461
Oh, I... I see.
211
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:21,731
I was a ma'am,
but, uh, I'm a widow.
212
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,667
Oh, that's too bad.
213
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:27,370
What can I do for you?
214
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:31,774
Well, I'd like to buy
something for my girlfriend.
215
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,909
Oh, you have a girlfriend.
216
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,178
That's too bad.
217
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,846
She's far away.
She's in Passaic.
218
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,766
Oh, that's good.
219
00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:42,835
Soon as I save up enough
money, I'm gonna marry her.
220
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:45,805
Oh, that's too bad.
221
00:10:45,829 --> 00:10:50,109
Just imagine a handsome
soldier boy like you...
222
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:54,998
brave, good-looking...
strong, tall.
223
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:57,867
Just imagine a man
like you being single.
224
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,453
Oh, I ain't so tall.
225
00:11:00,477 --> 00:11:02,521
You're just the
right height for me.
226
00:11:02,545 --> 00:11:05,008
Betty Lou is crazy
about bracelets.
227
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,626
You got anything like that?
228
00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:08,661
Of course.
229
00:11:08,685 --> 00:11:12,086
But, uh, first...
230
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:17,403
First... I'd like to serve you
231
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,239
some very special wine.
232
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,940
I think you'll enjoy it.
233
00:11:21,964 --> 00:11:23,181
I will?
234
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:26,128
It's very old wine.
235
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:28,731
The recipe has been
in my family for years.
236
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:30,899
Listen, Hermione, I'd
better get back to the fort.
237
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,368
Oh, but corporal, I insist.
238
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,704
I only serve this wine to...
239
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:37,290
special people.
240
00:11:37,314 --> 00:11:39,981
Well, in that case.
241
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,998
Ooh, not bad. A
family recipe, you say?
242
00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:49,335
From the Orient.
It's very relaxing.
243
00:11:49,359 --> 00:11:50,959
How about that.
244
00:11:58,401 --> 00:12:00,313
We'll have Janey wire
for more information
245
00:12:00,337 --> 00:12:02,215
before we make any
definite move, sergeant.
246
00:12:02,239 --> 00:12:04,183
She already has. Sent
wires to all six states.
247
00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:05,684
We ought to hear
in matter of hours.
248
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,086
Oh, good, good. Say.
249
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:10,156
Say, isn't that Wrongo...
Isn't that Lucky Starr?
250
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,075
Oh, yeah, he's
on cleanup detail.
251
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:17,001
Not that I believe in that
Indian curse, mind you, but...
252
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:21,184
Captain, Sergeant,
253
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:24,170
I have the most
wonderful news for you.
254
00:12:24,194 --> 00:12:25,526
You all right, Agarn?
255
00:12:26,462 --> 00:12:27,740
I'm in love.
256
00:12:27,764 --> 00:12:30,293
I'm in love. I'm in love, love.
257
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,694
Of course you're in love.
258
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,034
Maybe after seven more
years, you'll marry Betty Lou.
259
00:12:35,772 --> 00:12:36,854
Betty Lou?
260
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,302
Betty Lou. Who else?
261
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:42,137
The woman I love.
262
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:44,273
I'm marrying Hermione on Friday.
263
00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,977
Hermione Gooderly?
264
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,445
The same.
265
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,347
Agarn, what's happened to you?
266
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,048
I'm marrying Hermione on Friday
267
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,868
and we're going to
honeymoon at Wapping Falls.
268
00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:57,202
Wapping Falls?
269
00:12:57,226 --> 00:12:59,472
That's the most treacherous
waterfall in the West.
270
00:12:59,496 --> 00:13:00,906
That's 3000 feet high.
271
00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:03,242
You... I think it's 3000.
272
00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:04,844
Wait a minute, let
me check my map.
273
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:08,164
Agarn, pal, buddy.
Now, listen to me, will ya?
274
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,633
Don't do anything foolish.
275
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,202
We're expecting some wires
about Hermione any minute now.
276
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,770
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no. It's not 3000.
277
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,089
It's only 2896 feet.
278
00:13:17,113 --> 00:13:18,445
Yeah, well...
279
00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:21,860
Hi, sergeant.
280
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,930
I picked up everything
that wasn't nailed down.
281
00:13:23,954 --> 00:13:25,731
You just keep policing the area.
282
00:13:25,755 --> 00:13:27,199
If you say so, sergeant.
283
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,400
Ah.
284
00:13:28,424 --> 00:13:29,702
Whew.
285
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,403
Aw, poor devil.
286
00:13:31,427 --> 00:13:33,706
I must confess that bad
luck does seem to pursue him.
287
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,641
Yeah, and it's beginning
to rub off on Agarn.
288
00:13:35,665 --> 00:13:36,975
It could prove fatal.
289
00:13:36,999 --> 00:13:38,977
Yeah, well we'll know
more about the lady soon,
290
00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:40,479
and in the meantime,
Private Starr
291
00:13:40,503 --> 00:13:42,581
seems to be where this curse...
292
00:13:42,605 --> 00:13:45,083
Uh, if it is a curse.
- -can do no harm.
293
00:13:45,107 --> 00:13:46,607
Mm-hm.
294
00:14:05,996 --> 00:14:08,841
Fairest of figure,
fairest of face.
295
00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:13,012
Her name is Hermione,
her form is "divione."
296
00:14:13,036 --> 00:14:14,580
Yeah, well, these just came in.
297
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,449
Listen to 'em. See
what you think.
298
00:14:16,473 --> 00:14:19,952
"Her first husband, married
11 days, died of food poisoning.
299
00:14:19,976 --> 00:14:22,754
"Second husband,
married 17 days,
300
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:26,425
"drowned while canoeing.
Found with a lump on his head.
301
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,493
Third husband,
married two months..."
302
00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:30,429
Oh, he must have
been something special.
303
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:34,183
"died mountain
climbing, fell 17,000 feet."
304
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,286
The rope had been cut, but
nobody can prove she did it.
305
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,988
"Fourth husband,
honeymooned at Niagara Falls,
306
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,458
"fell off a rock. When
they found the body,
307
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,677
he had grease on
the soles of his boots."
308
00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:46,712
None of us is perfect.
309
00:14:46,736 --> 00:14:49,403
Oh, come on. You need some air.
310
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,522
Sheez!
311
00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:57,690
Private Starr, I invite you
to my wedding ceremony.
312
00:14:57,714 --> 00:15:00,109
Oh, do you really
think I should go?
313
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,150
Why not? What
else could go wrong?
314
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,666
I almost got married once.
315
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:09,001
But my fiancée broke her leg.
316
00:15:09,025 --> 00:15:11,170
Then she married the doctor.
317
00:15:11,194 --> 00:15:13,422
And, uh, you're single, huh?
318
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,507
Yeah.
319
00:15:14,531 --> 00:15:17,275
What a shame.
320
00:15:19,536 --> 00:15:21,514
Gosh, I don't know.
321
00:15:21,538 --> 00:15:23,281
Wrangler, this is for
my pal, my buddy.
322
00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:25,784
Corporal Agarn, your friend,
Captain Parmenter's friend.
323
00:15:25,808 --> 00:15:27,419
I tell ya, this will
not be a wedding.
324
00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:28,554
It'll be a funeral.
325
00:15:28,578 --> 00:15:29,655
Yeah, but...
326
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,390
Do you wanna be an
accomplice to murder?
327
00:15:31,414 --> 00:15:33,309
That's what she's
gonna do. She'll kill him.
328
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,143
He'll be husband number five
329
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:38,180
and just as sure as shootin',
the captain will be number six.
330
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:39,815
Wilton? If she
touches my Wilton,
331
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,917
I'll shoot them ruffles
right off her petticoat.
332
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,452
All right, then we gotta do it.
333
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,921
But you gotta send the
telegram. You're in charge of that.
334
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,489
Just one telegram.
335
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,291
Nobody's ever
gonna know about it.
336
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:52,328
Just address it "Private
Leonard W. Starr."
337
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:53,595
What'll I say?
338
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,163
Well, I'll tell ya what to say.
339
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:59,802
Now, the first thing is, see...
340
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,236
Hey, everybody, listen to this.
341
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,089
What is it, Janey?
What you got, Wrangler?
342
00:16:03,113 --> 00:16:05,191
It's a telegram
for Private Starr.
343
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:07,176
Just came in over
the wire from Boston.
344
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,762
Boston? But... But I don't
anybody from Boston.
345
00:16:09,786 --> 00:16:11,563
Oh, wait a minute. Just listen.
346
00:16:11,587 --> 00:16:14,833
"Your Uncle Harold died
and left you a million. Stop.
347
00:16:14,857 --> 00:16:16,802
"Thanks for past favors. Stop.
348
00:16:16,826 --> 00:16:18,804
"Milligan, Callersham,
Trippit and Dalton.
349
00:16:18,828 --> 00:16:20,672
Attorneys At Law."
350
00:16:20,696 --> 00:16:21,991
Hurray!
351
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:24,059
Congratulations, private.
352
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,394
You just broke the jinx.
353
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,928
Hey! Yahoo!
354
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:28,430
Yahoo, yahoo, yahoo.
355
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:29,749
Yahoo...
356
00:16:29,773 --> 00:16:31,817
What am I getting
so excited about?
357
00:16:31,841 --> 00:16:33,536
I don't even have
an Uncle Harold.
358
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,905
A lot of people have
relatives that they forgot about
359
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:37,172
or never even heard of at all.
360
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:38,774
Look, just look
at this right here.
361
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,776
"Milligan, Callersham,
Trippit and Dalton.
362
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,278
Attorneys At Law." That's
the biggest law firm in Boston.
363
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:44,647
They don't ever make a mistake.
364
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,482
You're rich, I tell you.
You're rich, rich, rich!
365
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,301
Lucky Starr.
366
00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:51,403
Lucky Starr!
367
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:54,339
Wait till everybody hears
about this and I spread the news.
368
00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:56,108
Come on, let's you
and me go to the saloon.
369
00:16:56,132 --> 00:16:57,610
Have a drink.
370
00:16:57,634 --> 00:17:00,646
"Two large barrels of caviar,
371
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:03,437
one dozen cans of
peacock tongues"?
372
00:17:05,141 --> 00:17:06,652
"One concert grand piano,
373
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:09,572
two dozen solid gold
watches..." Two dozen?
374
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,339
Yeah, well, those
are just little gifts
375
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:12,541
for the enlisted men, ma'am.
376
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,605
The piano there,
that's for the captain.
377
00:17:16,519 --> 00:17:18,931
Well, I guess...
378
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,399
I guess I'll just have
to send away for all this.
379
00:17:21,423 --> 00:17:26,255
But, sergeant, does the Army
always spend money like that?
380
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:27,757
Oh, this is not for
the Army, ma'am.
381
00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:29,258
This is for Leonard W. Starr.
382
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,893
Leonard who?
383
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,595
Private Starr. You
must remember him.
384
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,480
You came out on the
same stagecoach with him.
385
00:17:34,504 --> 00:17:37,433
Where does a private get
money to spend like that?
386
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:40,669
Oh, well... Well, I guess you
didn't hear about it, ma'am.
387
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,354
Well, he inherited
a million dollars.
388
00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:44,589
Yes, I've got to get over
to the saloon right away,
389
00:17:44,613 --> 00:17:46,825
because we're having a
little celebration for him.
390
00:17:46,849 --> 00:17:48,277
Sergeant.
391
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,612
If you don't think it would
be imposing of me, I'd...
392
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:54,917
I'd love to accompany you
and congratulate the dear boy.
393
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,852
Well, ma'am, I...
394
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,254
I just wouldn't have
it any other way.
395
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,328
And a big, strong
soldier like you
396
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,831
must have dozens of
women who simply adore him.
397
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,533
Well, there's my
mother and two aunts.
398
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,401
Hey, millionaire,
quite a party, ain't it?
399
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,702
Oh, yeah.
400
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,405
Yeah, a little bit noisy,
kind of hard to talk.
401
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,907
It certainly is.
402
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,976
This is excellent champagne,
but I have a special wine
403
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,512
that I'd like you to try in
honor of your good fortune.
404
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:24,847
It's in my shop.
405
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,249
Couldn't we continue
our conversation there?
406
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,884
But... But would it look right?
407
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,253
I-I mean, with your getting
married tomorrow and all.
408
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,988
That was just an infatuation.
409
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,245
Now I've found the real thing.
410
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:52,942
Hermione!
411
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,210
My bird of paradise,
what are you doing?
412
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:56,979
My bride-to-be.
413
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,970
Tomorrow's our wedding day.
414
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:02,979
Tell me I'm not
seeing what I'm seeing.
415
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,104
Tomorrow is our wedding day!
416
00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:07,473
I beg your pardon,
417
00:19:07,497 --> 00:19:09,908
but tomorrow's our wedding day.
418
00:19:09,932 --> 00:19:12,010
What are you talking about?
419
00:19:12,034 --> 00:19:14,913
Hermione and I are getting
married in the morning.
420
00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:16,448
Hermione?
421
00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:17,883
Do you know what you're doing?
422
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,585
Corporal, I've been
thinking about it,
423
00:19:19,609 --> 00:19:22,220
and I think we ought
to call our wedding off.
424
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,155
C-C-Call it off?
425
00:19:24,179 --> 00:19:26,958
To be honest with you,
I found someone else.
426
00:19:26,982 --> 00:19:30,863
Yes, and we're going to
honeymoon at Wapping Falls.
427
00:19:30,887 --> 00:19:33,932
Hermione, you're gonna
honeymoon with him
428
00:19:33,956 --> 00:19:37,836
at Wapping Falls?
429
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:41,261
But that was...
That was our place.
430
00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:44,476
Ah, that's all
right, Agarn, pal.
431
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:45,644
You'll get over this.
432
00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,045
Come on. Let's
go over to saloon.
433
00:19:47,069 --> 00:19:48,246
You and me will have a drink.
434
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,748
Take your hands off me.
435
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:52,640
A man has gotta
fight for his own.
436
00:19:54,677 --> 00:19:59,024
Private Starr, you have stolen
the heart of the woman I love.
437
00:19:59,048 --> 00:20:01,259
Let's settle this like men.
438
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,028
We'll step outside.
439
00:20:03,052 --> 00:20:05,097
You are outside.
440
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,532
Oh. So we are.
441
00:20:07,556 --> 00:20:08,867
Come on, private.
442
00:20:08,891 --> 00:20:11,141
I need fighting room.
443
00:20:12,427 --> 00:20:13,672
Now I got ya.
444
00:20:13,696 --> 00:20:15,073
Put 'em up!
445
00:20:15,097 --> 00:20:17,509
I'm gonna hit you on
top of the head so hard,
446
00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:19,733
it's gonna break
both your ankles.
447
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,248
Betray my betrothed, huh?
448
00:20:23,272 --> 00:20:24,783
She's my betrothed.
449
00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:26,406
Aah!
450
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,122
Go on, Leonard,
dear. Finish him off.
451
00:20:39,956 --> 00:20:42,334
Hey, Agarn, pal. Buddy. Here.
452
00:20:42,358 --> 00:20:43,702
Come on. Are you all right?
453
00:20:43,726 --> 00:20:45,971
Up we go. That's a good boy.
454
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,757
Here, now, what's
been going on here?
455
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:52,227
Well, Agarn here was
just fighting for his fiancée.
456
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,095
Fiancée?
457
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,497
Fiancée?!
458
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:58,400
Betty Lou is my fiancée
and she's back in Passaic.
459
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,637
Agarn, pal, you've...
You've snapped out of it.
460
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:07,025
Leonard, dearest,
you're a tiger in battle.
461
00:21:07,049 --> 00:21:08,994
If you say so, Hermione.
462
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,580
I'll be so proud
to be your wife.
463
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,501
Sergeant, if she really is
the Happy-Go-Lucky Widow,
464
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,670
isn't Private Starr
taking a bit of a chance?
465
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,237
Don't worry about
a thing, captain.
466
00:21:19,261 --> 00:21:20,656
I got everything under control.
467
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,495
It's just a matter of...
468
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:29,414
Telegram for Private
Leonard W. Starr.
469
00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:31,283
Hey, soldier, ain't
you gonna read that?
470
00:21:31,307 --> 00:21:32,851
Yeah, that could be important.
471
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:35,554
Hey. Hey... Ah, here.
472
00:21:35,578 --> 00:21:39,018
We'll see what this
here is all about now.
473
00:21:40,449 --> 00:21:41,927
Well, Wrangler,
what do you know?
474
00:21:41,951 --> 00:21:43,728
That first telegram was wrong.
475
00:21:43,752 --> 00:21:46,849
It read, "Your Uncle Harold
died and left you a million. Stop.
476
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:49,034
Thanks for past favors."
477
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:51,202
They put that word in the
wrong place, though, see?
478
00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:52,370
It should have read,
479
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,740
"Your Uncle Harold
died and left you. Stop.
480
00:21:54,764 --> 00:21:57,342
"A million thanks
for past favors.
481
00:21:57,366 --> 00:21:59,962
Milligan, Callersham,
Trippit and Dalton."
482
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:02,965
Well, ya... You
can't win 'em all.
483
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,067
But listen, don't worry, pal.
484
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:07,670
You got that lovely
lady to be your wife.
485
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:09,221
To be my wife.
486
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,090
You can get by on your Army pay.
487
00:22:11,114 --> 00:22:13,926
It's a whole $16 a month.
488
00:22:13,950 --> 00:22:15,294
I'm getting out of here.
489
00:22:15,318 --> 00:22:16,861
I'm fed up with the
whole a lot of you.
490
00:22:16,885 --> 00:22:20,265
Hermione! Angel! What
about our wedding?
491
00:22:20,289 --> 00:22:21,699
You let go of me, you pipsqueak.
492
00:22:21,723 --> 00:22:23,185
I'm packing now.
493
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,722
My fiancée.
494
00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:29,825
The only girl I
ever really loved.
495
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,750
Gone.
496
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:40,681
Are you all right, private?
497
00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:44,173
Oh, I... I think so, captain.
498
00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,441
Oh, fine, fine.
499
00:22:46,465 --> 00:22:49,678
And now, about
your fiancée, private.
500
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,430
You're better off
without her, you know.
501
00:22:51,454 --> 00:22:54,433
W-W-Without who, captain?
502
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:56,051
Hermione, your fiancée.
503
00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:57,819
Fiancée?
504
00:22:57,843 --> 00:23:00,593
But... But I don't
have a fiancée.
505
00:23:02,231 --> 00:23:03,525
Well.
506
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:06,461
I'm glad you've finally
come to your senses.
507
00:23:06,485 --> 00:23:08,163
There. There, you see, sergeant.
508
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,132
By a lucky accident,
Private Starr
509
00:23:10,156 --> 00:23:12,234
was saved from a very
unfortunate marriage.
510
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:14,936
I'm positive from now
on he'll be all right.
511
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,105
Well, it's almost
time for retreat.
512
00:23:17,129 --> 00:23:18,473
Let's all get back to the fort.
513
00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:20,242
Yeah.
514
00:23:47,542 --> 00:23:49,687
Sergeant.
515
00:23:49,711 --> 00:23:53,091
Would you draw up the
transfer papers, please?
516
00:23:53,115 --> 00:23:55,193
Yes, sir.
517
00:23:59,822 --> 00:24:01,266
And I wanna thank you, captain,
518
00:24:01,290 --> 00:24:03,252
for getting me this
great new tour of duty.
519
00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:05,954
Hey, well, you're quite
welcome, Wrongo...
520
00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:07,723
Ahem. Private.
521
00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:10,459
And all the best of luck
in the medical corps.
522
00:24:10,483 --> 00:24:12,561
No hard feelings, now.
523
00:24:12,585 --> 00:24:14,050
Oh, no.
524
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:16,831
Write to us.
525
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:18,533
And when you do, be careful.
526
00:24:18,557 --> 00:24:20,277
Don't use a sharp pencil.
527
00:24:20,827 --> 00:24:23,371
Remember now. The jinx is over.
528
00:24:23,395 --> 00:24:25,107
A new day is dawning.
529
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:31,213
The jinx is over.
530
00:24:31,237 --> 00:24:33,348
A new day is dawning.
531
00:24:33,372 --> 00:24:34,533
All right, driver.
532
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:36,452
Hyah!
35876
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