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♪ The end of the
Civil War Was near ♪
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00:00:05,723 --> 00:00:09,036
♪ When quite accidentally ♪
3
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:11,321
♪ A hero who sneezed
Abruptly seized ♪
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,362
♪ Retreat And
reversed it to victory ♪
5
00:00:16,533 --> 00:00:19,146
♪ His Medal of Honor
Pleased and thrilled ♪
6
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,090
♪ His proud little
Family group ♪
7
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,601
♪ While pinning it on
Some blood was spilled ♪
8
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,136
♪ And so it was
planned He'd command ♪
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00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,672
♪ F Troop! ♪
10
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,675
♪ Where Indian fights
Are colorful sights ♪
11
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,677
♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪
12
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:36,980
♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪
13
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:39,649
♪ Both turn chicken ♪
14
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,684
♪ When drilling and
fighting Get them down ♪
15
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,487
♪ They know their
morale Can't droop ♪
16
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,173
♪ As long as they
all Relax in town ♪
17
00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:50,877
♪ Before they resume
With a bang and a boom ♪
18
00:00:50,901 --> 00:00:52,817
♪ F Troop! ♪
19
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,439
Good morning. Good morning, sir.
20
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,491
Going someplace?
A scout patrol, sir.
21
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,510
The Hekawis has been
a little restless lately.
22
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:43,280
It's like sitting on a powder
keg with a sputtering fuse.
23
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:45,365
I thought they were
temporarily contained.
24
00:01:45,389 --> 00:01:46,632
They're a tricky bunch, sir.
25
00:01:46,656 --> 00:01:47,934
Agarn and me don't like the way
26
00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:49,703
things are beginning
to smell up there.
27
00:01:49,727 --> 00:01:50,970
Hut!
28
00:01:50,994 --> 00:01:52,027
Hyah.
29
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,111
Vanderbilt, ooh, wait, wait.
30
00:01:59,135 --> 00:02:00,946
The... The stake is over there.
31
00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:02,182
Well, what was I aiming at?
32
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:03,883
The flagpole.
33
00:02:03,907 --> 00:02:06,387
Oh, no wonder it looked so tall.
34
00:02:11,749 --> 00:02:14,928
Well, your... Your distance
is just excellent, Vanderbilt.
35
00:02:14,952 --> 00:02:17,630
Now, you just have to
work on your direction.
36
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:27,723
Smell good, huh?
37
00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:30,360
Phew, take a
whiff of that stuff.
38
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,361
Ugh!
39
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:32,629
You call this whiskey?
40
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,996
You call it whiskey.
41
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:37,033
Hekawi call it nazumahashamuma.
42
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,201
Why?
43
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:40,236
Uh, paleface translation,
"rat gut." Okay.
44
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,272
Medicine man
use for sick braves.
45
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,408
Not cure but make them
laugh even when it hurt.
46
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,567
Turn that booze
boiler off, will you?
47
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,115
Father?
48
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:55,084
Hello, Silver Dove.
49
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,486
Hi-yo, Silver.
50
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,288
Hello, sergeant, corporal.
51
00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,755
What is it, my daughter?
52
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:00,823
Mama says come to tepee
53
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,776
and pound buffalo
steak for dinner.
54
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,078
We have buffalo again?
55
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:08,148
Not bad if marinated
in nazumahashamuma.
56
00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:10,116
Hey, that stuff will
marinate the customers.
57
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:12,251
We have old Hekawi saying:
58
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:17,411
When field mouse see
shadow, time to string beads.
59
00:03:18,214 --> 00:03:19,259
What's that mean?
60
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,593
Not know.
61
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,297
Nobody ever ask before.
62
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,907
Shugs, they kidnap daughter!
63
00:03:34,931 --> 00:03:36,108
Well, them dirty, no good...
64
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,692
Hey, what are you trying
to do, wing Silver Dove?
65
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:43,833
Now, what's going on here?
Are you and the Shugs feuding?
66
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,635
War Cloud, that
son of Shug chief,
67
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:49,372
he want to marry my
little girl, but I say no!
68
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:53,976
Shugs not good enough to
lace moccasin of Hekawi maiden!
69
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,881
Sarge, just like
Romeo and Juliet.
70
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,416
What tribe they with?
71
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,751
Look, what are you
standing around for?
72
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,637
Why don't you get your
boys and go after them?
73
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:07,273
Peaceloving Hekawi fight Indian?
74
00:04:07,297 --> 00:04:08,697
That's your job.
75
00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:10,760
Our job?!
76
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,563
Why you think we
made palefaced brother?
77
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:17,021
U.S. cavalry always
come to rescue.
78
00:04:31,121 --> 00:04:33,199
Mm, that... That's
very good, Hannibal.
79
00:04:33,223 --> 00:04:35,135
Well, you're getting
closer all the time.
80
00:04:35,159 --> 00:04:37,704
"Taps" ain't much of a
compliment to my cooking.
81
00:04:37,728 --> 00:04:39,005
Well, I'm sorry, Miss Jane,
82
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,541
but that's the closest
thing to eating music I know.
83
00:04:41,565 --> 00:04:44,144
Wilton Parmenter,
look at your plate.
84
00:04:44,168 --> 00:04:45,629
You ain't hardly
touched a thing.
85
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,931
Sure I have. You just piled
it too high to begin with.
86
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,199
I was hoping you'd get
so took with my cooking
87
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,185
you'd wanna eat it
the rest of your life.
88
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,653
That's very kind of you, Janie,
89
00:04:53,677 --> 00:04:54,954
but what if I got transferred?
90
00:04:54,978 --> 00:04:56,139
How would you ship it to me?
91
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,630
Oh, eat your dessert.
92
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,979
Oh, excuse us for
busting in like this, captain,
93
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,580
but this is a real
emergency, sir.
94
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:05,615
Emergency?
95
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,117
It's a catastrophe. Mm.
96
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,421
Shugs have kidnapped
Wild Eagle's daughter,
97
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,423
and I'd like, with the
captain's permission,
98
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,076
to take the troop and fetch her.
99
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:19,446
I don't know. I'll have to look
that up in the Regulations Act.
100
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:22,048
Don't know if we're supposed
to rescue Indians from Indians.
101
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,250
Wilton, will you forget
that consigned book?
102
00:05:24,274 --> 00:05:26,052
It'll be a great
chance to get in solid
103
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,671
with the ferocious
Hekawis, captain.
104
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,773
Well, I... I know that,
corporal. I know that.
105
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,157
But there... There
must be some...
106
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:33,643
Sergeant, I'll need your help.
107
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,145
And yours too, corporal.
108
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,013
Uh, but the troop?
They won't be needed.
109
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,814
I'll handle this
myself. You, sir?
110
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,617
But we can't take a
chance on losing you.
111
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,152
There'd be bloodthirsty Indians
112
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,770
lurking behind
every rock, captain.
113
00:05:43,794 --> 00:05:46,038
Men, you're forgetting
the old cavalry saying:
114
00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:47,539
There are two
sides to every rock,
115
00:05:47,563 --> 00:05:49,814
and it takes all kinds of
Indians to make the West.
116
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,028
What does that mean?
117
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,414
I don't know. Nobody
ever asked me before.
118
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:55,570
Ah.
119
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,221
Well, how do I look? Mm.
120
00:06:02,245 --> 00:06:03,856
Well, begging the
captain's pardon,
121
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,525
like a sneaky Hiawatha.
122
00:06:05,549 --> 00:06:07,760
Ah, I think you look
just fine, sir. Oh.
123
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:10,996
Hey, sarge, ain't you
kind of tall for an Indian?
124
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:13,132
Well, I'll walk on my
knees. Nobody will notice.
125
00:06:13,156 --> 00:06:14,534
There's nothing to worry about.
126
00:06:14,558 --> 00:06:16,235
In The Last of the Mohicans,
127
00:06:16,259 --> 00:06:17,937
they did this sort
of thing all the time.
128
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,138
And it worked?
129
00:06:19,162 --> 00:06:21,173
I... I don't remember that part.
130
00:06:21,197 --> 00:06:23,932
I'm afraid we better
get going. Mm.
131
00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:29,515
What's the matter?
132
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:31,818
Oh, it's me.
133
00:06:31,842 --> 00:06:34,362
Oh, come on, Minnehaha.
134
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,344
Dobbs, look.
135
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:42,634
Indian attack!
136
00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:44,731
Indians?
137
00:06:44,755 --> 00:06:46,915
To the parapets, men!
138
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:53,572
We're the Indians!
139
00:06:53,596 --> 00:06:55,080
And we're friendly!
140
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,144
I got one! I got one!
141
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,146
Vanderbilt, you nut head!
142
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,649
It's me, Duffy!
143
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,117
Oh, excuse me, Duffy.
144
00:07:05,141 --> 00:07:06,352
Ah!
145
00:07:06,376 --> 00:07:07,987
Will you get off of the captain?
146
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,188
Everybody, let me go!
147
00:07:09,212 --> 00:07:10,511
All right, get up.
148
00:07:12,983 --> 00:07:14,393
Bunch of knuckleheads!
149
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:16,951
Come on, Agarn,
let's get the horses.
150
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,570
We... We're sorry, captain.
151
00:07:24,594 --> 00:07:26,572
You ain't mad 'cause you
got jumped on, are you?
152
00:07:26,596 --> 00:07:28,207
Oh, no, no, of course not.
153
00:07:28,231 --> 00:07:32,045
It shows that F Troop
is courageous and alert.
154
00:07:32,069 --> 00:07:34,213
All right, now, men, the
three of us are going out
155
00:07:34,237 --> 00:07:35,481
to raid the Shugs.
156
00:07:35,505 --> 00:07:36,949
And in case we
don't make it back,
157
00:07:36,973 --> 00:07:38,751
I want you all to
remember that it's...
158
00:07:38,775 --> 00:07:40,986
It's all part of
winning the West.
159
00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:43,656
Uh, Private Dobbs, you'll
be in charge with the fort.
160
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,913
Well, thank you, sir.
161
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,232
Time to mount up, captain.
162
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:55,374
Oop!
163
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,904
Dobbs.
164
00:07:57,928 --> 00:07:59,208
Dob...
165
00:08:05,269 --> 00:08:06,412
You all right, sir? Yeah.
166
00:08:06,436 --> 00:08:08,003
All right, here we go.
167
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:18,758
I must leave to post
lookout, Silver Dove.
168
00:08:18,782 --> 00:08:20,726
Sleep without fear.
169
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,496
I am not afraid, War Cloud.
170
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,886
Good night.
171
00:08:27,791 --> 00:08:30,003
I didn't know Indians kissed.
172
00:08:30,027 --> 00:08:33,228
In The Last of the
Mohicans, they rub noses.
173
00:08:34,664 --> 00:08:37,299
Yeah, well, that's why they
were the last of the Mohicans.
174
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,707
Heart Lips is leaving, captain.
175
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,408
Shall we rush him? No, no, no.
176
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,310
You two men, take
care of the guards.
177
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,779
I'll sneak in through
the back and get the girl.
178
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,013
Now, don't forget,
179
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,115
if you're spotted,
you're an Injun.
180
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:01,419
You betchum.
181
00:09:14,937 --> 00:09:15,937
Shh.
182
00:09:17,407 --> 00:09:19,485
Don't be afraid, Silver Dove.
183
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:21,676
You comum with me.
184
00:09:23,213 --> 00:09:25,124
I am not going any place.
185
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,282
I have been kidnapped
enough for one day.
186
00:09:31,288 --> 00:09:32,465
You cheat them on count.
187
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,833
I no cheat them on count.
188
00:09:34,857 --> 00:09:37,703
Now... BOTH: Ibitty
bibitty sibitty sam
189
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,138
Ibitty sibitty kanaba
190
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:42,741
Kanaba in, Kanaba out
Kanaba over the waterspout
191
00:09:42,765 --> 00:09:45,200
Out goes Y-O-U!
192
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:50,667
We with U.S. cavalry.
Cavalry. You, come.
193
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,435
Come.
194
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,603
Let's hurry up, captain.
195
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,672
It can get drafty around
here without your scalp.
196
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,239
Sergeant O'Rourke,
197
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,943
aren't you a little old
to be playing Indian?
198
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,210
Never mind about that.
199
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,679
Now, come on.
We're gonna go home.
200
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,047
I don't want to go home.
201
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,882
Well, your father
wants you to go home!
202
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,517
And I thought this
was a free country.
203
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,901
Come on, let's go.
204
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:13,089
We got her, corporal.
205
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,058
Hey, sarge! They're coming to.
206
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,659
Ibitty bibitty... We got no time
207
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,817
for "Ibitty bibitty sam."
208
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:38,247
Wild Eagle happy
Silver Dove back in coop.
209
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:39,271
We drink.
210
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,757
Oh that... That...
211
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,291
It's smooth, huh, captain?
212
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:53,184
Uh, Miss Dove, may I have
the pleasure of this dance?
213
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,559
For shame, Wild Eagle,
214
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:27,630
your daughter rescued, and
you forget ancient Hekawi custom.
215
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:29,699
I not forget nothing.
216
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:32,468
Wedding of daughter take
place one week from today.
217
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:36,238
Hey, I didn't know Silver Dove
is gonna get married. Who to?
218
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:39,475
Reward for save Hekawi maiden.
219
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,844
Tradition say she
must marry captain.
220
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,612
The captain?! Listen, chief.
221
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,948
You'd better stay out of
that nashahashahamamuma.
222
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:48,517
What's...? What's our captain
got to do with your tradition?
223
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,353
Ah, very old. Go
back many moons.
224
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,690
Many, many, many,
many, many, many...
225
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,225
Stop with the moons.
226
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:57,827
Before sun come up.
227
00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,495
Make arrangement for wedding.
228
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,998
Listen, Wild Eagle, you can't
make the captain get married.
229
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,332
He's not a redskin.
230
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,301
Him pinkskin. That close enough.
231
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,769
Well, it's against his religion.
232
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,705
He's a... A... A
confirmed bachelor.
233
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:12,274
Captain marry Silver
Dove, or we have big fight!
234
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,676
Fight, hah. You?
235
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,845
Ha-ha, the tribe that
invented the peace pipe.
236
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:16,946
We fight.
237
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,448
Tradition only thing
Hekawi fight for!
238
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,683
You would?
239
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:23,452
Even if we have to
hire Apache to do it.
240
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,288
Go get blanket for smoke signal.
241
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:28,524
Send out wedding announcement.
242
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,792
Uh, listen, chief.
243
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,894
Don't you say anything
to the captain about this.
244
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,696
Now, please, just...
Just let me handle it.
245
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,198
Okay, but you handle.
246
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,066
Move daughter to fort,
247
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:43,405
cook for captain, wash
clothes, one week engagement.
248
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,964
Then... big wedding.
249
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,308
They make lovely couple.
250
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,240
Oh, you... You don't have
to cook for me, Silver Dove.
251
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,708
I've got an orderly for that.
252
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,811
It is part of Hekawi tradition.
253
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,213
Do you not like my cooking?
254
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:28,383
Oh, yes, yes, I... Why, I... I
love your... dried otter rump.
255
00:13:28,407 --> 00:13:31,254
It's... It's even better than
your pickled rattlesnake.
256
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:35,830
This is my specialty. Candied
sumac and hawk giblets.
257
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:43,483
Oh that's... That's...
258
00:13:43,507 --> 00:13:46,569
That's... I think... I think it
needs a little more seasoning.
259
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,270
I will go to the
kitchen and get some.
260
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:51,239
Uh, you'll find it in a jar
marked "bicarbonate."
261
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,660
Hawk giblets.
262
00:13:54,684 --> 00:13:56,828
I tell you, there
can't be a wedding.
263
00:13:56,852 --> 00:13:58,297
The captain marries Silver Dove,
264
00:13:58,321 --> 00:14:00,132
we might as well turn honest.
265
00:14:00,156 --> 00:14:01,333
Why don't we tell them
266
00:14:01,357 --> 00:14:03,302
he's got a wife in
Philadelphia and 20 kids?
267
00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:06,972
Knucklehead, would you believe
the captain has got 20 kids?
268
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:09,608
Make it 19. I'll...
269
00:14:09,632 --> 00:14:11,410
Sarge, I'm just trying to help.
270
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,744
Oh, big help, yeah.
271
00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,913
If the captain gets
palsy with the Hekawi,
272
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,715
he'll find out they're
not so ferocious,
273
00:14:16,739 --> 00:14:18,851
and that they're making
whiskey for our saloon.
274
00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:20,419
What do you think
I'm worried about?
275
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,388
That will be the end of
O'Rourke Enterprises.
276
00:14:22,412 --> 00:14:23,956
The saloon, the
laundry, the hotel,
277
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,725
the real estate
office on Boot Hill.
278
00:14:25,749 --> 00:14:27,193
Boot Hill you can lose.
279
00:14:27,217 --> 00:14:28,360
It's a nice place to visit,
280
00:14:28,384 --> 00:14:30,224
but I wouldn't
want to live there.
281
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,732
Here comes some more trouble.
282
00:14:32,756 --> 00:14:34,233
Oh, uh, Wrangler, I'm...
283
00:14:34,257 --> 00:14:36,535
I'm sorry, but you can't see
the captain for a few days.
284
00:14:36,559 --> 00:14:38,437
He's mapping out a
very important campaign.
285
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,657
Yeah, a special request
from... General Custer. Mm.
286
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:43,910
What's a tepee doing
on an army post?
287
00:14:45,035 --> 00:14:46,946
Tepee? What tepee?
Oh, the Injun tepee.
288
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,814
Sarge, she means
the Injun tepee.
289
00:14:48,838 --> 00:14:49,916
Yeah, well, that belongs
290
00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:51,417
to the captain's
new housekeeper.
291
00:14:51,441 --> 00:14:52,818
She's an Indian. Housekeeper?
292
00:14:52,842 --> 00:14:54,287
What's he need a
housekeeper for?
293
00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:56,822
Now, now... He's
got an orderly and me.
294
00:14:56,846 --> 00:14:58,291
Now, wait a minute, Wrangler.
295
00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:00,092
There's nothing to
get all riled up about.
296
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,928
She's one of them big, fat,
squaw-type housekeepers.
297
00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:05,648
Yeah, well, I don't like
it nohow. Out of my way.
298
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,616
Wrangler, now, listen.
You can't go in there.
299
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,085
It's off-limits to
blond female civilians!
300
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,419
Wrangler!
301
00:15:11,443 --> 00:15:13,022
What's she gonna
do when she finds out
302
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,657
the captain is getting married?
303
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:17,081
What's he gonna do when he
finds out he's getting married?
304
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,135
Come in.
305
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,251
Oh, Janie, you're
just in time for dinner.
306
00:15:26,275 --> 00:15:28,888
In time for? I
thought I brung it.
307
00:15:28,912 --> 00:15:30,890
Baked quail. Shot it myself.
308
00:15:30,914 --> 00:15:33,192
Oh, well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
309
00:15:33,216 --> 00:15:36,345
S-say, would like some, uh,
hawk giblets and candied sumac?
310
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,646
To eat?
311
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,448
It's Silver's specialty.
312
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,749
Silver?
313
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,052
Wilton Parmenter, what do
you need a housekeeper for?
314
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,419
Well, I don't really.
315
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,222
It's just that I rescued
her from the Shugs,
316
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,390
and O'Rourke says
it's Hekawi tradition.
317
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:49,658
What's that got to do with it?
318
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,526
You ain't no Hekawi.
319
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,162
How fat is she anyway?
320
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,147
Silver? SILVER: Yes, captain?
321
00:15:56,505 --> 00:15:57,582
Housekeeper?
322
00:15:57,606 --> 00:15:58,817
Yes, uh, Silver Dove,
323
00:15:58,841 --> 00:16:00,619
I'd like you to meet
Jane Angelica Thrift.
324
00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:02,021
She brought us some baked quail.
325
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,039
Us?
326
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,773
Thank you, Miss Thrift.
327
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,078
I'll put it in the
kitchen and cool it.
328
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:11,146
Yeah, you do that.
329
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,315
Wilton Parmenter, I
don't like this arrangement
330
00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:14,450
one picayune little bit.
331
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,551
Get rid of her.
332
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,453
What? And make Wild Eagle mad?
333
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,954
Look, if I mess
up their tradition,
334
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,456
he's liable to get
ferocious again
335
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,724
and wipe out this whole fort.
336
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,292
Fiddle-faddle. But, Janie,
337
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,193
it's just part of
winning the West.
338
00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:27,730
Yeah, well, you don't have
to do it one girl at a time.
339
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:31,155
"Fat housekeeper."
Oh, Janie, look...
340
00:16:35,778 --> 00:16:38,098
Here's the seasoning, captain.
341
00:16:45,988 --> 00:16:47,254
She doesn't look fat.
342
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,739
Will you stop
pacing up and down?
343
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:54,907
You make me nervous.
344
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,876
You asked me to
help, didn't you?
345
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:59,444
How am I gonna get that
chief to stop the wedding?
346
00:16:59,468 --> 00:17:01,179
How?
347
00:17:01,203 --> 00:17:02,615
Sarge! Huh? What?
348
00:17:02,639 --> 00:17:04,182
A great idea!
349
00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:05,551
What is it? You got one?
350
00:17:05,575 --> 00:17:07,219
No, that's what we
need, a great idea.
351
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,721
You little pig.
352
00:17:08,745 --> 00:17:09,745
Why, I should...
353
00:17:13,416 --> 00:17:14,426
What are you doing?
354
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,529
Listen to that beat. It's wild.
355
00:17:16,553 --> 00:17:18,964
It's a message from the chief.
356
00:17:18,988 --> 00:17:20,065
What does it say?
357
00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:22,067
When are you gonna
learn how learn to read?
358
00:17:22,091 --> 00:17:23,802
Gee, a night letter.
359
00:17:23,826 --> 00:17:25,125
Wait a minute.
360
00:17:26,529 --> 00:17:30,375
"Medicine Man check tradition.
361
00:17:30,399 --> 00:17:35,636
"Wedding must take
place in full moon.
362
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:38,450
Tonight!"
363
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,752
Tonight?!
364
00:17:39,776 --> 00:17:41,153
Sarge, what are we gonna do?
365
00:17:41,177 --> 00:17:43,355
Wait a minute. There's more.
366
00:17:43,379 --> 00:17:44,957
"Bring present."
367
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,092
I'll bring him a present.
368
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:48,827
Listen, you get the captain.
369
00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:50,563
Take him up there,
but for Pete's sake,
370
00:17:50,587 --> 00:17:52,497
don't let him know
it's his own wedding.
371
00:17:52,521 --> 00:17:54,833
Now, just stall
until I get there.
372
00:17:54,857 --> 00:17:56,268
Where are you going?
373
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,403
Where do you think I'm
going? To get a present.
374
00:17:58,427 --> 00:17:59,538
Mm-hm.
375
00:18:04,701 --> 00:18:06,712
Hi, I come in peace.
376
00:18:06,736 --> 00:18:08,803
Uh, where's your boss?
377
00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:12,451
Him Ibitty. Mm.
378
00:18:12,475 --> 00:18:14,853
Ibitty bibitty Sibitty sam
379
00:18:14,877 --> 00:18:19,291
Ibitty bibitty Sam
Uh, whoa. Kanaba.
380
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:22,817
Ibitty bibitty Sibitty sam
381
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,114
Half hour long enough.
382
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:27,305
Call them tie.
383
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,687
I've never been to an
Indian wedding before.
384
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:32,788
Which one's the groom?
385
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,456
The groom? Oh, the groom.
386
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,293
He's around here someplace.
387
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,061
I wish I knew where sarge was.
388
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,079
Tug of war over.
389
00:18:40,103 --> 00:18:43,082
You have other paleface
wedding tradition?
390
00:18:43,106 --> 00:18:44,583
The paleface wedding tradition.
391
00:18:44,607 --> 00:18:46,452
Well, once, we've had...
392
00:18:46,476 --> 00:18:48,253
dancing around the maypole,
393
00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:49,755
we've had, uh,
dunking for apples,
394
00:18:49,779 --> 00:18:51,457
The potato-sack race,
395
00:18:51,481 --> 00:18:53,525
the snipe hunt... And wait...
396
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,327
Musical chairs. Corporal.
397
00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:58,797
Oh, captain, a wedding wouldn't
be legal without musical chairs.
398
00:18:58,821 --> 00:19:01,634
Now, all of you, Hekawi
form one big, oblong circle...
399
00:19:01,658 --> 00:19:02,635
Stop!
400
00:19:02,659 --> 00:19:04,670
You hung them up long enough.
401
00:19:04,694 --> 00:19:05,804
Wedding begin.
402
00:19:05,828 --> 00:19:07,305
Start music.
403
00:19:07,329 --> 00:19:09,225
A one, a two.
404
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:15,397
You know, if this were any
other kind of a wedding ceremony,
405
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:18,133
I'd be standing exactly
where the groom should be.
406
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,570
Yeah, well, the Indians don't
do it that way no more, captain.
407
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,871
A whole new system.
408
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,374
Oh, yeah, well, where does
the groom usually stand?
409
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,509
Oh, anyplace.
410
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,811
Sometimes, he
doesn't even show up.
411
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,780
Just like the sarge.
412
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,382
Yeah, I was just
telling the corporal
413
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,567
that I've never been this
close to a wedding before.
414
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,168
You never get any closer.
415
00:19:37,192 --> 00:19:38,754
Who's the lucky man?
416
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:41,022
Me. Unload one daughter.
417
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,399
Go ahead, doc.
418
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,005
"Dearly belovum..." AGARN: Wait!
419
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,174
If you don't wanna play musical
chairs, how about charades?
420
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,609
Oh, it's a barrel of fun.
421
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,144
Be quiet!
422
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:05,814
What fun got to do
with get married?
423
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,505
"Dearly belovum..."
424
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,034
Wait.
425
00:20:09,058 --> 00:20:10,402
Why didn't I think of it before?
426
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,955
A chess tournament!
Practically ain't no fun at all.
427
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,657
Corporal, you're really
getting out of line now.
428
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,360
This lovely girl should have
been married hours ago.
429
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:19,595
Ain't that the truth.
430
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,162
You're not to interfere again,
431
00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:22,764
and that's an order.
432
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:23,766
Go ahead, doctor.
433
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,000
Some wedding.
434
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:27,903
Hope marriage last this long.
435
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:31,106
"Dearly belovum..." Not yet.
436
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:33,030
Groom move out of place.
437
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,044
Uh, who, me?
438
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,279
Heh-heh-heh. No, no.
439
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,731
No, no, I'm not the groom.
440
00:20:38,755 --> 00:20:40,465
You not flower girl.
441
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,468
No, no, I'm...
442
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,170
No, no. Oh, now, wait a minute.
443
00:20:45,194 --> 00:20:46,238
W-wait, no, there's...
444
00:20:46,262 --> 00:20:47,906
There's been a
terrible mistake here.
445
00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:49,407
No, no, I'm not getting married.
446
00:20:49,431 --> 00:20:51,910
You save Hekawi,
you marry Hekawi.
447
00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:53,378
Tradition.
448
00:20:53,402 --> 00:20:56,514
Oh, look, chief,
your Silver Dove
449
00:20:56,538 --> 00:20:58,016
i-is a lovely girl
and everything,
450
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,219
but what... She hasn't
even met my mother.
451
00:21:00,243 --> 00:21:03,122
Back home in Philadelphia,
we believe in long engagements.
452
00:21:03,146 --> 00:21:05,474
Why, I... I... I don't even
know you're daughter.
453
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,099
You get to be real good
friends on honeymoon.
454
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,481
- "Dearly belovum..."
- Wait!
455
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:14,984
Uh, ch-chief...
Chi-chi... I'm sorry,
456
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:17,652
but I-I just remembered I
have to be back at the fort.
457
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:20,122
I'm the officer in charge, and
I have to make a bed check.
458
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,424
Uh, good night, heh.
459
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,425
Hey, come on, please.
460
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:24,493
You want me to be A-W-O-L?
461
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:26,195
I forgot to write myself a pass.
462
00:21:26,219 --> 00:21:27,529
Sarge!
463
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,998
Will you put me down, please?
464
00:21:29,022 --> 00:21:30,665
I don't wanna get married!
465
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:32,573
Uh, no offense, Silver Dove.
466
00:21:34,743 --> 00:21:36,255
"Dearly belovum..."
467
00:21:36,279 --> 00:21:37,589
I forgot a ring.
468
00:21:37,613 --> 00:21:39,658
He forgot a ring. I-I-I-I
don't have a ring. I...
469
00:21:39,682 --> 00:21:40,959
Excuse me, one and all,
470
00:21:40,983 --> 00:21:43,061
I-I have to go back to
Philadelphia and get a ring.
471
00:21:43,085 --> 00:21:44,997
Nice trip, sir. Yes, thank you.
472
00:21:45,021 --> 00:21:48,500
"Dearly belovum,
"many moons ago,
473
00:21:48,524 --> 00:21:52,036
many, many, many, many..."
474
00:21:56,231 --> 00:22:01,302
Mishuaga, Minnehaha,
wapan, Wapaka.
475
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,551
Big showoff.
476
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,520
Hear this, all Hekawis.
477
00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:11,373
I bring prophesy from
Happy Hunting Ground.
478
00:22:11,397 --> 00:22:13,808
Spirit of wedding very angry.
479
00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:15,577
This marriage without love,
480
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:18,047
and love greatest
of all tradition.
481
00:22:18,071 --> 00:22:19,081
I gotta get out of here.
482
00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:20,916
My blood pressure's
ready to pop.
483
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:27,222
Autumn night, spirit of
wedding will deliver true husband
484
00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:28,723
for this bride.
485
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:44,406
See, now spirit of
wedding be happy.
486
00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:46,741
Hear me, oh, Hekawis.
487
00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:49,166
Medicine man go
back to Great Spirit.
488
00:23:01,431 --> 00:23:03,242
Now, that's what I
call a medicine man.
489
00:23:03,266 --> 00:23:06,100
Bah, him just flashy quack.
490
00:23:20,783 --> 00:23:23,762
We have wise old Indian saying:
491
00:23:23,786 --> 00:23:29,234
Ingalakahaka... manasha hoya.
492
00:23:29,258 --> 00:23:31,636
What does that mean?
493
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:37,443
"If I wise old Indian, would I
have him for medicine man?"
494
00:23:50,712 --> 00:23:51,990
There you are!
495
00:23:52,014 --> 00:23:54,826
Big help you turned out
to be! What's the matter?
496
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:57,029
You asked me to stall the
wedding. Where were you?
497
00:23:57,053 --> 00:23:59,431
Well, I got tied up.
You know how it is, hm.
498
00:23:59,455 --> 00:24:00,765
It's a good thing I was there,
499
00:24:00,789 --> 00:24:02,767
or the captain would
be married right now!
500
00:24:02,791 --> 00:24:03,935
If it wasn't for me and...
501
00:24:03,959 --> 00:24:05,904
devil face. Who's that?
502
00:24:05,928 --> 00:24:08,306
You should have seen him, sarge.
503
00:24:08,330 --> 00:24:10,442
That medicine man must
have been 12 feet tall,
504
00:24:10,466 --> 00:24:12,911
sitting up on top
of a wild horse.
505
00:24:12,935 --> 00:24:14,913
Smoke, flames
coming out of his nose.
506
00:24:14,937 --> 00:24:16,014
I'm telling you,
507
00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,682
he scared the heck
out of the Hekawis.
508
00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:19,184
Didn't bother you, though none?
509
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:22,253
No, I don't take nothing
from no medicine man.
510
00:24:22,277 --> 00:24:24,056
I stood right up to
him and I told him,
511
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,491
"I don't care if
you're 20 feet tall.
512
00:24:26,515 --> 00:24:28,460
"There ain't gonna
be no wedding.
513
00:24:28,484 --> 00:24:32,464
Not while my name is
Corporal Randolph Agarn."
514
00:24:32,488 --> 00:24:34,399
Namashumahamakama.
515
00:24:34,423 --> 00:24:35,555
Yeah, that's just...
516
00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:37,558
Ah.
517
00:24:42,247 --> 00:24:43,948
Goodnight, Randolph.
34831
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