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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,505 [Pal] 2 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,517 Respiration, 3 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:19,753 pulse rate, heartbeat... 4 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,154 all excellent. 5 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,423 Gentlemen... 6 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,225 you have just qualified 7 00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:27,261 to participate aS guinea pigs 8 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,829 in an experimental program. 9 00:00:29,29 --> 00:00:30,63 Congratulations. 10 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:31,865 Guinea pig? What kind of guinea pig, sir? 11 00:00:32,65 --> 00:00:33,667 Oh, you'll see. 12 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,102 And now, if you'll excuse me, 13 00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:36,103 l, um... 14 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,871 | must inform Commander Kiski, 15 00:00:38,71 --> 00:00:40,574 the director of the new program, that you're ready to begin. 16 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:41,975 Now? Now, major. 17 00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,777 But a-all the guys just went to lunch, sir. 18 00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:45,712 And until | return, | suggest that 19 00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:47,714 you both exercise vigorously. 20 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,217 Commander Kiski likes his guinea pigs to be warmed up. 21 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:54,388 Boy, for a few knee bends, we have to miss lunch. 22 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,389 | hope this Kiski isn’t 23 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,157 some kind of an exercise fanatic. 24 00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:58,559 Well. | wouldn't worry about it. 25 00:00:58,759 --> 00:00:59,826 We're in pretty good shape. 26 00:01:00,27 --> 00:01:02,396 Think we can breeze through anything this guy throws at us, 27 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,398 unless he’s Attila the Hun. Huh? [BOTH LAUGH] 28 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,433 [LAUGHS] 29 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:07,834 Oh, what are you doing here, huh? 30 00:01:08,35 --> 00:01:09,236 Oh, master, do you not remember? 31 00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:10,637 You and Major Healey promised to 32 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:11,939 take me out to dinner tonight. 33 00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:13,540 Oh, no. | forgot about that. 34 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:14,575 And dancing. Ohh! 35 00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:15,576 [CLAPS] 36 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:16,577 Do you like my dress? 37 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:17,744 Yeah, it’s pretty, but... 38 00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,446 But, but, but. Yeah, yeah, it’s great. 39 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,648 Jeannie, will you get out of here? We gotta work out. 40 00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:23,350 What is "work out"? 41 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,52 Well, it’s a lot of running and jumping, 42 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,119 bending and stretching. 43 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,487 But if you do all that, 44 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,890 will you not be too tired to take me dancing tonight? 45 00:01:31,58 --> 00:01:32,859 No, no. Listen, we could chop rocks all day 46 00:01:33,60 --> 00:01:34,661 and still be in good shape to take you out. 47 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:35,929 Now go on. Go on home, please. 48 00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:37,698 You are sure you will not be too tired? 49 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,466 Absolutely. Please, will you? 50 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,668 Very well then. Until tonight. 51 00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:42,669 Yeah, sure. Tonight. 52 00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,04 Okay. 53 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:45,05 Excuse me, gentlemen. 54 00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,873 Oh. Yes, sir. Hello. 55 00:01:47,74 --> 00:01:48,175 Uh, this is the director of 56 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:50,844 your new physical-conditioning program. [CHUCKLES] 57 00:01:51,44 --> 00:01:52,479 Commander Frances N. Kiski. 58 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:53,814 Major Nelson, Major Healey. 59 00:01:54,14 --> 00:01:55,449 How do you do, sir? How are you, sir? 60 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:56,617 Attention! 61 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,753 [Pal] 62 00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,327 Marshmallows. 63 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,663 It’s Attila the Hun. 64 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,871 [Pal] 65 00:03:03,83 --> 00:03:04,484 [Pal] 66 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:11,124 Major... 67 00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:13,193 are you in good condition? 68 00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,561 Yes, Sir. Wrong! 69 00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:17,664 And you. 70 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,366 Wall-to-wall flab. 71 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,602 What do you say to 50 quick pushups? 72 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,238 Or are you afraid you might hurt yourself? 73 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,540 If you are... 74 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:29,42 just speak right up. 75 00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:30,143 Oh-ho-ho... 76 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:33,246 Too easy, huh? All right. 77 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:34,614 We'll try something else. 78 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,585 Now, watch. Watch my hand. 79 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,687 Watch. 80 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,89 [GRUNTS, YELLS] 81 00:03:44,24 --> 00:03:44,825 See what | mean? 82 00:03:45,25 --> 00:03:46,860 See what | did? 83 00:03:47,60 --> 00:03:48,261 Well...you saw it. 84 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,529 You’re dead. 85 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,365 | just killed you, and you didn’t defend yourselves. 86 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:54,801 Well, we’re at attention, sir. 87 00:03:55,01 --> 00:03:56,369 [MOCKINGLY] "At attention, sir." 88 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,71 Oh, really? Hm. 89 00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,272 See what | mean, Dr. Bellows? 90 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,41 Proved my point. 91 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,212 These men are survival-soft. 92 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,680 Their animal instinct... 93 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,484 of kill or be killed... 94 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:11,985 has been ruined... 95 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,687 by their easy living. 96 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,21 Hm. 97 00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,290 We've received the finest astronaut training, sir. 98 00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:18,291 | think that, uh-- 99 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:19,860 Kindergarten junk! 100 00:04:20,60 --> 00:04:21,895 That's right. 101 00:04:22,95 --> 00:04:23,396 102 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,766 | am gonna teach you how to survive. 103 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,69 Punishment training. 104 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,403 Pain! Pain! 105 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,640 Pain, going past suffering... 106 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,443 into the valley of agony. 107 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:38,645 That's right. 108 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,83 Now, what do you say 109 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,219 to a quick 10-mile run? 110 00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:48,321 And after that, you'll come back here, 111 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,656 and we'll have three hours 112 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,958 of special exercises. 113 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:55,395 A-- A 10-mile run and three hours, sir? 114 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:56,730 That’s right, major. 115 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,198 That's right. 116 00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,500 And tomorrow... [LAUGHS] 117 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,302 ...we'll start the hard stuff. 118 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:04,905 Okay? 119 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,273 Right face! 120 00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,42 Double-quick... march! 121 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,210 Move it, move it, move it! 122 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:11,211 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 123 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:12,679 Move it, move it, move it, move it! 124 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,781 Move it, move it, move it! 125 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,22 He's trying to kill us. Yeah. 126 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:23,23 Healey! 127 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,424 Yeah? 128 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,761 Oh, okay. Time. 129 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:28,895 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 130 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:31,798 [GROANS] 131 00:05:35,35 --> 00:05:35,836 He's trying to kill us. 132 00:05:36,36 --> 00:05:37,37 Kill us? See it in his eyes. 133 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:38,638 He was testing us. Trying to kill us. 134 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,06 But he couldn't break us down. 135 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,842 We won, don’t you see? Yeah. 136 00:05:42,42 --> 00:05:42,943 Oh, that’s good. 137 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,978 Ten minutes ago, | thought | died. 138 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,146 Let’s get out of here. 139 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,616 Where are you going? 140 00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,585 [GASPS] Who said school was out? 141 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:52,853 Oh, well, sir, you said-- 142 00:05:53,53 --> 00:05:55,155 You said we could leave after three hours of exercise. 143 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,791 | lied! | tell that to all my boys 144 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,60 to keep them on their tippy-tippy-toes. 145 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,61 You're not through yet. 146 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,763 Here. Try these on. 147 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:04,931 [SIGHS] 148 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,706 | think there’s a mistake. 149 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,875 Somebody, uh, put lead in the pockets. 150 00:06:15,75 --> 00:06:16,76 [LAUGHS] It’s a mistake. 151 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,377 There’s lead in the pockets. 152 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:18,645 No, major. 153 00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:20,280 It’s not lead. 154 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,681 It’s sand. 155 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,650 A hundred and fifty pounds of sand 156 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,652 sewn into the lining of each jacket. 157 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,488 Oh, you look marvelous. 158 00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:30,557 What do we do with these sand dunes 159 00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:31,992 now that we got ’em on? 160 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,462 What do you think you do with 150 pounds of sand on your back? 161 00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:38,331 Run. Uphill. 162 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,01 Now, move! Move, move! 163 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,02 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 164 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,770 Move it, move it, move it! 165 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,06 Let’s go! Let’s move it! 166 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,114 Oh, master. 167 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,416 [GIGGLES] And Major Healey. 168 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,685 | almost thought you had forgotten our date tonight. 169 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,520 You are very late. 170 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:01,988 You promised. | know. 171 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,357 Jeannie, I'd love to take you for, uh, d-dancing, but-- 172 00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:05,926 Oh, thank you! No. 173 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,561 [GROANS] 174 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,197 What--? What happened? 175 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,00 You may not believe this, Roger, 176 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,435 but | think we're going dancing. 177 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,437 Yes. Come along. Let’s go. 178 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:18,605 Oh, wait. Oh, oh-oh-- 179 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:19,706 Come on. [LAUGHS] 180 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:21,975 Whoa, no. 181 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,311 [Pal] 182 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,151 Oh, this is such fun. 183 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,53 Are you enjoying yourself, Major Healey? 184 00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,624 Major Healey? Are you enjoying yourself? 185 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,360 Yes, I’m enjoying myself. Oh. 186 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,729 Well, i-if you are too tired, we can go home. 187 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:45,31 No, I’m not too tired. I-| w-- | don’t want to go home. 188 00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,466 [GIGGLES] 189 00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:48,635 Master? 190 00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,670 Master, wake up. 191 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,72 Oh. He’s asleep. 192 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,974 Master, wake up. Wake up. 193 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:56,643 Master. [GIGGLES] 194 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,346 Peekaboo. 195 00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:00,547 Wake up. 196 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,724 Thank you, Armand. 197 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,259 | think you'll like this place, commander. 198 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:14,961 The, uh, music’s a bit on the loud side, 199 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,30 but the food is superb. Hm. 200 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,965 Good. After breaking down the men, 201 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,367 | always have a good appetite. 202 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:23,903 Wake up. Wake up. [GROANS] 203 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,244 [Pal] 204 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,191 Look who’s here. 205 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,630 He’s dancing. 206 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,166 That’s incredible. 207 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,834 It's fabulous, doc. 208 00:08:55,35 --> 00:08:57,37 You know, I’ve had to hold up my training program, 209 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,138 because | couldn't get men 210 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,640 strong enough to get the full treatment. 211 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,675 But with Nelson and Healey, 212 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,712 starting tomorrow, I'll be able to give them the works. 213 00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,247 The works? 214 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,49 Everything. 215 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,550 My secret plan. 216 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,962 Oh, master, you should have told me 217 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,964 that Commander Kiski made you work out so hard. 218 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,266 Ahh! Mm. 219 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,635 | would not have allowed you to go dancing. [GROANS] 220 00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,403 The dancing was the easy part. 221 00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,639 | slept through most of that. 222 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:34,641 Do you suppose it’s possible to sprain skin? 223 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:35,942 Ohh! 224 00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:37,310 Oh. 225 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,79 Well, let's hobble along 226 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,513 with another day of fun and games 227 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:41,714 with Killer Kiski. 228 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,316 Oh, but he will hurt you again. 229 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,652 Ah, no, no. He won't be so rough on us today. 230 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,53 No, these physical fitness guys 231 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,121 all work the same way. 232 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,456 They murder you the first day, 233 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:50,457 then they ease off. 234 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:51,458 Yeah. 235 00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:52,692 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 236 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,828 Ah, Jeannie. Ah. Ah. 237 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,798 Hello? Major Nelson here. 238 00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,667 Oh. 239 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:01,868 Yes, Commander Kiski. 240 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,170 Yes, Sir. 241 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,408 Ye-- All right. All right. 242 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,809 Well, what's wrong? 243 00:10:10,09 --> 00:10:12,78 We're to report to Staging Area F, 244 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,913 pick up our winter field uniforms. 245 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,982 Area F in our winter uniforms? Are you kidding? 246 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:16,983 It's 100 degrees there. 247 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,718 Hundred and one. Kiski checked. 248 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:20,86 Master, please let me help you. 249 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,454 No, I’ll-- I'll take care of it. 250 00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:22,956 It's my responsibility. Tsk. 251 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,357 Yeah, It’s not like in school, 252 00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,192 where your mother writes you an excuse. 253 00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:27,460 Roge, giddyap. 254 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,131 An excuse from mother? 255 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,600 Mm. 256 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,809 | don’t care what Nelson says. 257 00:10:43,09 --> 00:10:44,911 He and Healey can't drink the water. 258 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,780 Now you tell those two softies to get over here on the double. 259 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,816 And make sure they zipper up their overcoats. 260 00:10:50,16 --> 00:10:51,551 I’m through being a nice guy. 261 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,123 Hello. 262 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,560 What did--? How did you get in here? 263 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,929 Oh, | brought you a note from Major Nelson’s mother. 264 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,931 A-and one from Major Healey’s too. 265 00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:08,67 You'll have to excuse them from any more, uh, exercises. 266 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,903 Notes from their mothers? 267 00:11:11,37 --> 00:11:11,938 What are you, 268 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,240 some sort of weird cocktail waitress? 269 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,442 Oh. Please read the notes. 270 00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:19,145 Oh. | get it. 271 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,714 You’re either a girlfriend of Nelson or Healey’s, 272 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,184 and you're trying to come over here and help them get out of 273 00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,485 some of those hard, nasty jobs. 274 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,986 Oh, believe me, I’m not doing that. 275 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,288 Mm, yeah. | know. 276 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,256 It's women like you that love to smother guys. 277 00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:31,558 Protect em, keep ’em soft. 278 00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:33,59 Oh, | just want to see-- 279 00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,194 I’ve seen dames like you. 280 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,695 You ruin ’em with your cuddling. 281 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:36,829 | know. 282 00:11:37,30 --> 00:11:39,332 My Aunt Effie tried to do it to me. Hm. 283 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,400 Every day, | remember, 284 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,702 "Eat your cottage cheese, Francis." 285 00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,671 "Drink your milkie, Francis." 286 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,507 "Don’t forget to wear your rubber hat, Francis." 287 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,275 Egh-yuck. 288 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:50,777 Your Aunt Effie sounds very sweet. 289 00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,345 Sweet?! 290 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,546 If | didn’t get away from her, 291 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,114 she would have made a sissy out of me. 292 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,816 But I’m not gonna let your pals get away. 293 00:11:57,16 --> 00:11:58,318 Not till | make ’em as hard as steel. 294 00:11:58,518 --> 00:11:59,452 | do not think your Aunt Effie 295 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,454 would like the way you treat them. 296 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,256 Her? She’d have them sitting under a tree 297 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,325 eating blueberry pie. 298 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,160 Oh, that is nice. 299 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,362 Oh, yeah? Well, you get--! 300 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,431 [GIGGLES] 301 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:15,435 Your Aunt Effie is a much nicer person. 302 00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:17,370 --out of here, because | don’t really care. 303 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,938 Major Healey and Major Nelson, sir. 304 00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,241 Major Healey and Major Nelson? 305 00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,478 | told you not to ask for water. He’ll kill us. 306 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,46 Attention! 307 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,48 Okay, you guys. Now, I’m... 308 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,185 Oh, I’m-- I’m awfully sorry, boys. 309 00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:35,855 Forgive me. Oh, my goodness. I'll have mercy on you. 310 00:12:36,55 --> 00:12:38,157 You shouldn't be dressed in these hot outfits 311 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,692 on a day like this. 312 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:41,27 It’s ridiculous. 313 00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:43,396 Take off those clothes. Really, boys. 314 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,198 | don’t want to see you suffer. 315 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,500 You should be able to relax and enjoy, 316 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,102 and be nice and cool. 317 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,237 That’s no way to dress in hot weather. 318 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,373 Here. Have a drink of water there. 319 00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,341 Don't drink it. It’s a trick. 320 00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,777 Hey, listen, fellas. | have an idea. 321 00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,212 You ought to get into some shorts 322 00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,847 and sit under a nice cool tree. 323 00:13:01,47 --> 00:13:02,515 [LAUGHS] 324 00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,287 lll get you some pie. Do you like blueberry pie? 325 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,555 It’s delicious with cold milk. 326 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,424 You go ahead and rest here, 327 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,459 and I'll go see about the pie, okay, fellas? 328 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:14,727 Ah. 329 00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:15,828 Drink, enjoy. 330 00:13:16,29 --> 00:13:18,364 You're marvelous. Wonderful boys. 331 00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,467 It’s so drab in here. 332 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,37 You ought to have chintz to brighten it up a little bit. 333 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,873 Jeez, it would make it so beautiful. 334 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,576 Chintz? In a tent? 335 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,479 Chintz? 336 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,16 It's a plot. 337 00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:39,52 He’s going to poison the pie. 338 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,153 It’s a trick. 339 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,821 Why would he wanna poison the pie? 340 00:13:42,21 --> 00:13:43,156 If it's not a trick, 341 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,258 we're in the hands of a raving maniac. 342 00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,563 Boys. Boys? 343 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,268 Boys? Boys. 344 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,03 Oh. There you are. 345 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,338 There you are. 346 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:02,575 Hurry up, boys. It's naughty to be a slowpoke. 347 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:05,445 What am | saying? 348 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,682 Don't go with him. He’s trying to get us lost. 349 00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:11,17 Just like Hansel and Gretel. 350 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:12,618 | know he’s acting kind of peculiar, 351 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,120 but that pie was delicious. 352 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,789 [LAUGHS] Oh. 353 00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,257 My, the air out here is wonderful. 354 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,459 Yeah. 355 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:20,760 Are you comfortable, master? 356 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,362 Yeah. Uh, listen, uh, get out of here. 357 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:23,863 Kiski's gonna be back any minute. 358 00:14:24,63 --> 00:14:24,864 Yeah, with more pie. 359 00:14:25,64 --> 00:14:26,332 | couldn’t eat another bite. 360 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,68 Oh, I’m glad you two are getting along so well with him. 361 00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:31,137 Well, he’s not such a bad guy once you know him. 362 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:32,138 KISKI: Major! 363 00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:33,506 Oh, come on, Jeannie. Out, out. 364 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,241 Oh. Yes, master. 365 00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,242 Have a nice day. 366 00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:37,377 Yeah-- Really, now... 367 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:38,911 Now-- Oh. 368 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:39,912 Come on. Major! 369 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,114 [MUMBLES] 370 00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,455 Hey! There you are. Yeah. 371 00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:50,656 Your easels are all set up. 372 00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,392 Our easels? Our easels? 373 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,128 Certainly. On a glorious day like today, 374 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,896 there’s nothing like a good paint. 375 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,01 Good paint? 376 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,670 Well, you go right ahead. We-- We'll be there. 377 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:05,938 Well, uh, ahem, 378 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:06,973 you set up the easels. 379 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:08,908 Oh, easels. Yes. Yes. Yes. 380 00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,180 | had a counselor like that when | was a kid in Summer camp. 381 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,214 Eh-- What happened? 382 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,83 The camp nurse sent him home early. 383 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,285 KISKI: Boys, painting time! 384 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,386 Easy. Take it easy. 385 00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:34,534 Where’s Commander Kiski? 386 00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:37,870 Uh, he’s on a, uh... 387 00:15:38,70 --> 00:15:39,238 nature hike, sir. 388 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,607 I'll call him for you. 389 00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,817 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 390 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,352 Hello. 391 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:54,353 GENERAL: Kiski? 392 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,22 This is General Powlett. 393 00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,758 Oh, hello, General Powlett. How are you, sir? 394 00:15:58,958 --> 00:15:59,959 Lovely day, isn’t it? 395 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:01,594 Uh... 396 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,429 Excuse me a moment, general. 397 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,931 Uh, Tony... Yeah? 398 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,933 Yours is very good... 399 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,534 but your bunny’s all wrong. 400 00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:09,936 Your bunny should have 401 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:14,407 big, floppy ears and a tiny, fluffy tail. 402 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,476 It’s an elm tree. Oh, yeah. 403 00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,544 Heh. And a lovely tree it is. 404 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,580 Uh, Roger, yours is very good too. 405 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,816 | love yours. | love your purple and yellow sky. 406 00:16:24,16 --> 00:16:25,84 [LAUGHS] 407 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:27,286 Very excellent. 408 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,287 Heh. 409 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,89 Are you out of your mind? 410 00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,525 Floppy ears and fluffy tail? 411 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:34,727 What did you do to Kiski? 412 00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:38,97 Well, all | did was take him notes from your mothers 413 00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:39,799 to excuse you from the exercises-- 414 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,234 I-- | don’t want to hear anymore. 415 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,469 Well, he did not even read the notes. 416 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,872 All he did was talk about his sweet, little old Aunt Effie 417 00:16:46,72 --> 00:16:47,440 who used to make him drink milk and-- 418 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,475 And baked him blueberry pies. And-- 419 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,277 And you turned him into his Aunt Effie? 420 00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:52,912 Well, | only wanted to-- 421 00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:55,481 Yeah-- Jeannie, you shouldn’t have interfered. 422 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:56,482 You can't-- 423 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,17 | will not let him work you so hard. 424 00:16:58,217 --> 00:16:59,719 But you can’t-- Right back to-- 425 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,721 Hey, | didn’t know that Kiski had an Aunt Effie. 426 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:02,889 | thought his only relative 427 00:17:03,89 --> 00:17:04,624 was the Creature from the Black Lagoon. 428 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:05,892 Oh, funny. That’s funny. 429 00:17:06,92 --> 00:17:08,694 Well, how about the monster that stepped on Cincinnati? 430 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:09,795 [CHUCKLES] Roger. 431 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,703 All right, men, we're nearing the drop zone. 432 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,138 This will be a survival exercise 433 00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:21,140 under conditions of maximum hazard. 434 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,409 Commander Kiski, would you like to brief your men? 435 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:26,612 Please... 436 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:27,747 be careful. 437 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:30,950 For this exercise, 438 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,586 we have simulated a drop into enemy territory. 439 00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,89 The enemy has already spotted this aircraft, 440 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,926 and from the moment you land, they will be in pursuit. 441 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,229 Ohh! That’s exciting. 442 00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,665 Under no circumstances 443 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,767 will you permit yourselves to be captured. 444 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,569 Is that clear? Yes, Sir. 445 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:50,570 Good luck, gentlemen. 446 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:51,737 Ready, sir. 447 00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:54,540 All right. Stand up. Hook up. 448 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:55,741 Ah. 449 00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,312 KISKI: Roger. 450 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:00,780 Button up your collar. 451 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,548 It’s drafty outside. 452 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,252 Tony, are your chute straps tight? 453 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:08,921 And for goodness’ sake, please, stand up straight. 454 00:18:10,56 --> 00:18:11,557 [SENSOR BUZZES] Go! 455 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,59 Well, come on, Aunt Effie. 456 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,760 Here we go. Jump. 457 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:15,861 [YELLS] 458 00:18:21,33 --> 00:18:22,868 Aunt Effie? 459 00:18:23,69 --> 00:18:24,704 He called him Aunt Effie. 460 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,38 Oh. Yes, sir. 461 00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,374 It's a term we use when we jump out of a plane. 462 00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,42 Uh, like "Geronimo." 463 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:32,979 Aunt Effie! 464 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,315 Aunt Effie? 465 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:49,428 Any sign of Kiski? 466 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,166 Yes. 467 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,839 He parachuted right in the middle of the enemy camp. 468 00:19:00,39 --> 00:19:01,440 You're kidding. Yeah. 469 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,142 And we're on the wrong side of the river. 470 00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:04,710 You mean we're in enemy territory? 471 00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,479 Yeah! 472 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,748 Jeannie! Jeannie! 473 00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:09,815 Hey. 474 00:19:10,16 --> 00:19:12,885 [LAUGHS] Did someone call? 475 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,221 Oh. Jeannie. 476 00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:17,256 Here. There’s-- 477 00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:19,792 Jeannie, we are in enemy territory. 478 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:20,960 They've got Kiski. 479 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,194 Do you have any idea what 480 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,130 they're gonna do to him at-- At headquarters 481 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,831 if he arrives in his condition, huh? 482 00:19:26,32 --> 00:19:28,634 Anyway, this whole area’s surrounded by enemy patrols. 483 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,36 Get us out of here, quick. Yeah. 484 00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:31,671 Well, | thought you'd never ask. 485 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,277 They’re gone. 486 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,348 Well, | had them spotted for a moment, sir, 487 00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:44,50 but they seem to have disappeared. 488 00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:46,485 Well | don’t know, sir. 489 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,55 They were there just a moment ago but, well, they’re gone. 490 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:56,862 --don't, sir. |-- 491 00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:00,800 TONY: We're back on the plane. 492 00:20:01,00 --> 00:20:03,502 Yes. Now you can jump on the right side of the river. 493 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,471 No. Jeannie, don’t you understand? 494 00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,306 We've got to rescue Kiski. 495 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,108 We've got to get to the other side of the-- 496 00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:10,776 Ahh! 497 00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:11,777 Come on, Major Healey. 498 00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:12,812 Hey, wait a minute. 499 00:20:13,12 --> 00:20:14,146 You haven't got a parachute. 500 00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:16,382 Yeah. Yes. Isn’t that exciting? 501 00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:17,817 Aunt Effie! 502 00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:21,420 [MOUTHS] Aunt Effie. 503 00:20:28,60 --> 00:20:28,961 You sure? 504 00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:33,866 Okay. 505 00:20:34,66 --> 00:20:35,534 All right. 506 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,203 Sentry’s spotted two more parachutes 507 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:38,671 on this side of the river. 508 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:39,905 Uh, I'll cover this sector. 509 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:42,274 You blindfold the prisoner. Take him to headquarters. 510 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,410 Untie me. I'll scratch your eyes out! 511 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:45,511 Move. 512 00:20:55,54 --> 00:20:56,288 The prisoner got away, sir. 513 00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:58,624 Hop in. We'll catch him. 514 00:21:12,04 --> 00:21:13,806 They've been reported where, general? 515 00:21:14,06 --> 00:21:15,641 Right there. 516 00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,110 But that’s 30 miles from the drop area. 517 00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:19,445 It isn’t possible. 518 00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,313 Don’t ask me to explain it, doctor, 519 00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:24,116 but | Know that they helped Kiski escape, 520 00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:26,452 and somehow commandeered an enemy vehicle. 521 00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:28,854 Blue Squadron has got ’em trapped in Box Canyon. 522 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:30,756 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 523 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,26 General Powlett. 524 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:37,997 What? 525 00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:39,298 Well, they’ve got to be there. 526 00:21:39,498 --> 00:21:40,733 Are you sure? 527 00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:43,702 They got out. 528 00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:46,172 Now, how did Kiski do that? 529 00:21:46,372 --> 00:21:48,440 But you said there was no way out, sir. 530 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:52,545 There was one way. Straight up. 531 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,255 Thanks for the ride, Jeannie. 532 00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:04,723 Oh, You are very welcome, master. 533 00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:05,991 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 534 00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:07,960 What are we gonna do with our fearless leader? 535 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,95 Untie me, you rotten boys. Untie me. 536 00:22:10,296 --> 00:22:11,230 Blink him back to normal. 537 00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:12,965 Oh, but master, he is SO mean. 538 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,834 Yeah. Well, | Know that, 539 00:22:15,34 --> 00:22:16,435 but i-it’s his career, Jeannie. 540 00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:17,970 Go on. And you blink out of here too. 541 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,138 Oh, no, master. Go on. 542 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,139 I’m not kidding. 543 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,740 You never let me have any fun. 544 00:22:23,75 --> 00:22:24,510 Jeannie? [SCREAMS] 545 00:22:24,710 --> 00:22:26,745 Ah! [SCREAMS] 546 00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:27,947 Hold on. You untie him. 547 00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:29,949 Take off his blindfold, and I'll take this off. 548 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,183 [SCREAMS] 549 00:22:31,383 --> 00:22:32,418 Whoa, maybe we better just 550 00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:33,485 take off the blindfold. 551 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,588 Wait a minute. 552 00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:38,224 You meatheaded, goldbricking, jet jockeys! 553 00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:39,959 I’m gonna break you-- 554 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:42,294 Gee, sir. Uh, sir. Can you walk? 555 00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:43,662 Sure, | can walk! What are you? 556 00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:46,265 You got us through that survival mission without a scratch. 557 00:22:46,465 --> 00:22:47,533 Help him, Roger. He’s weak. 558 00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:49,835 Who’s weak? ll-- The survival mission? 559 00:22:50,35 --> 00:22:51,704 Yeah, you were an inspiration to both of us. 560 00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:52,838 Don't you remember, sir? 561 00:22:53,38 --> 00:22:54,440 Well, of course he doesn’t remember. 562 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,775 He struck his head on that rock, trying to save your life. 563 00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:58,510 | did? On the survival course? 564 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,145 Steady. Whoa. Take it easy. 565 00:23:00,346 --> 00:23:02,314 I’m perfectly all right. I’m perfectly all right. 566 00:23:02,514 --> 00:23:03,716 All right. Just leave me alone. 567 00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:04,884 Whoa. Le-- Let me down. 568 00:23:05,84 --> 00:23:06,585 You and Healey? On the survival course? 569 00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:07,586 | did? 570 00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:08,754 We'll tell you all about it 571 00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:10,623 before General Powlett gets here. 572 00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:12,858 Okay. okay. But just-- Just help me. 573 00:23:13,58 --> 00:23:14,26 I-- | don't feel too good. 574 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,762 | don’t know how you did it. 575 00:23:16,962 --> 00:23:19,198 Your act is gonna go down in history 576 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,367 as one of the most heroic acts ever. 577 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:29,475 And so, gentlemen, because of your miraculous, 578 00:23:29,675 --> 00:23:32,344 and in my view, highly suspicious success, 579 00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:33,679 headquarters has decided to 580 00:23:33,879 --> 00:23:35,547 abandon Commander Kiski’s program. 581 00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:36,548 Abandon it, sir? 582 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:37,917 Well, if it were such a SUCCESS, 583 00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:39,518 why-- Why do they want to abandon it? 584 00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,320 Because we feel that you had already been 585 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,355 superbly conditioned as astronauts. 586 00:23:43,555 --> 00:23:45,24 Ah. N-no more punishment. 587 00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:46,926 Uh, from now on, it’s, uh, easy living, huh? 588 00:23:47,126 --> 00:23:48,961 However, headquarters feels that it’s vital 589 00:23:49,161 --> 00:23:50,562 to maintain your fine conditioning. 590 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:51,797 And to that end, 591 00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:54,199 they have assigned a permanent physical instructor. 592 00:23:59,738 --> 00:24:03,509 You soft-bellied lounge lizards. 593 00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:06,946 This is where | remove the fat from your frame. 594 00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:08,914 Right. Put that down! 595 00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:09,915 Now get moving. 596 00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:11,283 What are you standing here for? 597 00:24:11,483 --> 00:24:12,284 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 598 00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:14,253 Hut two, hut two, hut two. 599 00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:17,256 Marshmallows. Ho-ho. 600 00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:18,590 You guys, move it! 601 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:19,858 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 602 00:24:24,863 --> 00:24:28,100 [Pal] 37782

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