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1
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:12,054
I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time.
2
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848
Friendly faces everywhere.
3
00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,725
Humble folks
without temptation.
4
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:18,602
Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind.
5
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,187
Ample parking day or night.
6
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,148
People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!"
7
00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:25,317
Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind.
8
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
9
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,071
Timmy, Timmy,
liv-a-la, Timmy!
10
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575
Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine.
11
00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,872
Okay, now,
put on the nose, Tweek.
12
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,001
- I can't! You do it!
- Just stick it on!
13
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,753
But what if I put it
in the wrong place?
14
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,254
Just put it between its eyes.
15
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,982
Aah! But what if,
while I'm putting on the nose,
16
00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:49,091
the snowman comes to life
and tries to kill me?
17
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,569
Tweek, when has
that ever happened,
18
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,428
- except for that one time?
- Yeah!
19
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,263
- Hey, fellas!
- Oh, hey, Butters.
20
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,265
How are things going
with your new best friend?
21
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,600
Well, Tweek's okay.
22
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,185
But he's certainly no Kenny!
23
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,746
Yeah, but he's still
better than you, Butters.
24
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,229
- Yeah.
- Well, that's good.
25
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,832
Good luck
being their new friend, Tweek.
26
00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:04,875
Hopefully, you'll do better
than me.
27
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,484
See ya, fellas.
28
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,111
Oh, man!
That is way too much pressure!
29
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,405
You guys! You guys!
You're not gonna believe it!
30
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,325
Everything's gonna
be okay, you guys!
31
00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,077
Life isn't so crappy after all!
32
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,536
- It's not?!
- No!
33
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,080
I was looking in this magazine,
34
00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:20,891
and I found an ad
for little ocean creatures
35
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,042
that you can buy
and raise in your room!
36
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,167
No way.
37
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,127
Look!
38
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,587
"Sea-People."
39
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,422
You keep them
in a big tank of water,
40
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,966
and they, like, build castles
and play basketball and stuff.
41
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,343
- Nuh-unh.
- Yeah!
42
00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:33,945
And look, they ride around
on turtles,
43
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,169
and they play games with fish!
44
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,014
No way.
45
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,808
Okay, Kyle, you're being
a Negative Nancy.
46
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,410
Stop it, okay,
unless you want everyone
47
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,019
to call you Negative Nancy
from now on.
48
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,021
Now, what we need
is to all chip in $4,
49
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,773
and we can
have them here tomorrow.
50
00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:49,777
Only $16? They can't be cool
if they're only $16.
51
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,574
If Nancy
doesn't want to chip in,
52
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,243
then it will be
$5.35 per person.
53
00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,577
All right, I'll chip in.
54
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,746
- Aah! Me too!
- All right.
55
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,792
Butters, don't forget
dinner is in two hours!
56
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:08,087
Okay, Mom. I'm just gonna be
up here doing my homework.
57
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,967
Yes, by day, he's mild-mannered,
sweet, and innocent Butters.
58
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,468
But...
59
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,596
nobody knows he actually
has a dark underside...
60
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,348
Professor Chaos!
61
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,476
Ha ha! Time to wreak havoc
on the world that shunned me!
62
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,694
Professor Chaos!
63
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,863
Ah, my faithful companion
in world destruction,
64
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,948
- General Disarray.
- I have done as you asked
65
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,741
and brought the first load
of scrap wood.
66
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,243
Excellent, General Disarray.
67
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,221
Now we can begin my most
horrible, evil plan yet
68
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,705
to wreak havoc on humanity.
69
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,748
What dastardly deed
are we doing now?
70
00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,876
Simple, my dear general.
71
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,003
We are going to
block out the sun!
72
00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,296
- Whoa!
- Ah, yes!
73
00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,797
I have plotted for weeks
74
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,133
and figured that if we
build a huge wooden shade
75
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,386
80 feet high and 50 feet wide
precisely on this hill,
76
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,763
South Park will forever
be cast in a great shadow!
77
00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,223
Oh, awesome!
78
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,517
Soon, all people will
have to live like moles!
79
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,245
They will live only
to remember with sorrow
80
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,647
how great the sun used to be!
81
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,192
Cool, it'll be just like
on "The Simpsons."
82
00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,694
- Huh?
- They did that
83
00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:14,987
on "The Simpsons."
84
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,423
I think it was
the Mr. Burns character.
85
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,966
He tried to block
Springfield from the sun.
86
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,742
He did?
Aw, heck!
87
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,160
I thought I was being original.
88
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,328
So, how do we build it?
89
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,205
Aw, I don't want to do it now,
90
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,057
not if they already did it
on "The Simpsons."
91
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,750
I gotta think of something else.
92
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,920
God damn it, how come every time
I think of something clever,
93
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,338
"The Simpsons" already did it?
94
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,674
Sea-People...
95
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,386
coming in the mail tomorrow.
96
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,223
Yes... yes!
97
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,272
Look at me, I'm livin' free.
98
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,900
Free and clean
amongst the Sea-People.
99
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,402
We look for pirates
and search for gold.
100
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,113
Life is an adventure
with the Sea-People.
101
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,133
They don't ever complain,
they don't call me fat.
102
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,077
They don't make me do homework
or nothin' like that.
103
00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,621
This is the way
life was meant to be.
104
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:10,084
Laughin' and singin',
Sea-People and me.
105
00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:13,587
Sea-People and me, you guys.
106
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,302
Only three more hours,
Sea-People...
107
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,197
Only three more hours,
and you can take me away
108
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:25,015
from this crappy Goddamn planet
full of hippies.
109
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,395
Okay, I've added
the water purifier tablet
110
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,313
to the Sea-People kingdom tank.
111
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,649
Now it says, "Step two...
112
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,734
Add the Sea-People eggs
to the water.
113
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,654
You will see sea life
spring instantly."
114
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,424
Okay, let's just run through
this one more time.
115
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,842
When the Sea-People arrive,
I will welcome them
116
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,326
to South Park
as ambassador of Earth.
117
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,287
Tweek, you give them
the key to the city,
118
00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,223
and we'll all engage them
in simple conversation.
119
00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,666
We've got to make Sea-People
feel comfortable, okay? Ready?
120
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,001
Ready. Let's see 'em.
121
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,837
Hold the sign up, Kyle!
122
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,006
Higher, Kyle!
123
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,300
Okay.
124
00:04:59,425 --> 00:05:01,218
Here we go.
125
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,193
Are they playing basketball?
126
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:30,122
What the fuck is this?!
127
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,559
Hey, these are brine shrimp.
I used to feed them to my fish.
128
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,294
- I got ripped off!
- I told you, Cartman.
129
00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,921
Oh, shut up, Kyle!
Shut your Goddamn Jew mouth!
130
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:40,049
You people are why there's
war in the Middle East!
131
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,484
And you, Tweek,
why don't you learn
132
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,010
to button your shirt right
for once?!
133
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,446
You're as bad as Stan
with his stupid girlfriend,
134
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,655
always spending time with her!
135
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,097
God, I hate you guys!
136
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,491
They were supposed
to take me away
137
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,142
to their underwater kingdom.
138
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,745
They were supposed to take me
on adventures of the deep!
139
00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:53,580
They package brine shrimp
and sell them to kids?
140
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,772
That's not right, man!
141
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:56,082
What are we gonna do with them?
142
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,483
Who cares?!
Throw 'em away!
143
00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,169
Hey, let's pour them
in the teacher's coffee
144
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,195
- tomorrow morning.
- Yeah, that'd be funny!
145
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,696
Heh heh, okay!
146
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,623
All right, listen to me.
147
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,541
We must take
a strict vow of silence.
148
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,168
Jesus Christ!
We killed her!
149
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,087
Shh! Tweek!
Shut the hell up!
150
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,134
General Disarray,
are your parents home?
151
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,969
- No.
- I've done it, General Disarray!
152
00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:27,655
I've completed my
most horrible deed to date!
153
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,264
- What?
- You know that big statue
154
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,310
in the town square
of pioneer John Wesley Powell?
155
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:32,712
I snuck over there
with a hacksaw,
156
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,019
and I cut off his head!
157
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,270
Yeah!
158
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,191
They're probably
just realizing it now!
159
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,556
Quick!
We must turn on the news!
160
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,111
But Hillary Clinton's ass
161
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,529
just keeps getting bigger.
162
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,072
Also in the news tonight,
163
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,074
a vandal has apparently
cut off and stolen
164
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,785
the head of the Powell statue
in the South Park town square.
165
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,996
Look! Look! I made the news!
I've wreaked havoc!
166
00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,808
The head was taken
in the early morning hours,
167
00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:56,375
and the police have no leads.
168
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,127
I finally made the world sorry!
169
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,629
I brought sadness and chaos!
170
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,634
This act, of course,
reminded us all of the time
171
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,050
that Bart Simpson took the head
of the Springfield statue
172
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,802
in one of their
classic episodes.
173
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,512
Here's what some people
had to say.
174
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,305
"Well, I think whoever
took the head
175
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,200
was really just doing
an homage to 'The Simpsons. '
176
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,517
I think it's great!"
177
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,882
"Yes, it really made me reflect
178
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437
on that episode and laugh."
179
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272
"Well, 'The Simpsons'
is such a great show,
180
00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,566
and we need reminders like this
to keep us watching."
181
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,111
Aw... oh, son of a bitch.
182
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,214
The police say that instead of
looking for the missing head,
183
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,781
they'd rather leave it off
184
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,658
and be reminded of
'The Simpsons' every day.
185
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,035
Why didn't you tell me
"The Simpsons" already did that?
186
00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,329
You seemed so proud.
I didn't want to bum you out.
187
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,748
Stupid "Simpsons."
188
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,377
Hello, there, Phillip!
I brought you something!
189
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,712
Ooh, what is it?
190
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,816
See? We're just watching
cartoons, like always.
191
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,800
- Nothing's changed.
- Jesus Christ! She's dead!
192
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,303
Stop it, Tweek! We're pretending
like nothing happened.
193
00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,988
Phillip, I think
I may have accidentally
194
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,556
killed Celine Dion!
195
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,057
Killing is never an accident,
196
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,183
you dick face!
197
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,145
Oh, Jesus.
Change the channel!
198
00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,313
And, in other news,
199
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,023
still no cause of death found
200
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,692
for elementary schoolteacher
Diane Choksondik.
201
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,195
However, doctors say
that during the autopsy,
202
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,156
they did find semen
in her stomach.
203
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,866
They found the sea men!
204
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,178
It's only a matter of time
before they find the women, too!
205
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,745
The autopsy is ongoing,
206
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,830
and cause of death
has yet to be determined.
207
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,081
- Oh, God!
- We're dead!
208
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500
Oh, Jesus!
That's it, man!
209
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,185
I want nothing more
to do with you guys!
210
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,544
Tweek, where are you going?!
211
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,063
They're gonna find you out,
and when they do,
212
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,398
I don't want to be
within 50 feet of you!
213
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,090
- You're gonna fry, man!
- Hey, Tweek,
214
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,485
you're in this
just as much as we are!
215
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,801
What?!
I told you not to put
216
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,087
the Sea-People in her coffee!
217
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,322
I wasn't even there
when you did it!
218
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,531
Yeah, but you're our new friend,
219
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,224
and that makes you co-pee-able.
220
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,993
In fact, it makes you
the most responsible.
221
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,017
Tweek, you might have to
take the fall on this one.
222
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,611
Oh, well,
hello, there, children!
223
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,154
Chef, we did
something kind of bad.
224
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,948
We don't know
who else to talk to.
225
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,492
Oh, I'm sure your little cracker
problems ain't all that bad.
226
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,077
Come on in.
227
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,870
Now, just sit down
and take a deep breath,
228
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,914
and tell ol' Chef
what's going on.
229
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,250
We need you to promise
not to tell anybody.
230
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,961
Now, children,
every problem can be worked out.
231
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,587
What was it?
232
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,047
We killed our teacher,
233
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,550
and they found
our sea men in her stomach.
234
00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:11,969
Oh, children, that's a problem
we all have to face
235
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,804
one time or another.
236
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765
Here, let me sing you a little
song that might cheer you up.
237
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725
Sometimes you
kill your teacher.
238
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,936
And they find your semen
in her stomach and the...
239
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,437
Wait! What the... What?!
240
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,856
So, what should we do?
241
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,287
Wow, I guess this
really is a big deal.
242
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,955
We've only got
one option, you guys.
243
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,140
We're gonna have to go
to that hospital
244
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,404
where they're doing the autopsy
245
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,859
and get our sea men
back ourselves.
246
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,587
I pulled out my hair!
247
00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,338
Okay.
How about this, Dougie?
248
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,674
I'm going to pose
as a real-estate agent
249
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,594
and con everyone in town
into buying a monorail,
250
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,554
and then skip town
with all their money!
251
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,724
- No?
- "Simpsons" did it.
252
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,892
They did it in episode 204.
253
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,853
Okay, then I'm gonna
start a website
254
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,355
to spread vicious rumors
about everyone in town!
255
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,691
And then, I'll take...
"Simpsons" did it.
256
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,443
I'll bury a skeleton
wearing angel wings
257
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,671
so that the townspeople will
think a fallen angel has...
258
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:12,988
"Simpsons" did it!
259
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,909
- This is it.
- All right.
260
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,953
Everyone scatter
and look for the sea men.
261
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,723
Tweek, stay by the door
and keep a lookout.
262
00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,433
If you see anybody coming,
say the code word...
263
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,125
- "Hammertime".
- Hammertime?!
264
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,419
Can't the code word
just be "look out"?
265
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:28,879
I won't remember "Hammertime"!
266
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,644
Just remember the song
"Can't Touch This,"
267
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,007
and you'll remember
the code word.
268
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,759
- Yeah, stupid.
- Oh, God!
269
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,016
There's nothing here.
270
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,226
Dude, it's probably
still in her stomach.
271
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,272
Is it her?
272
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,231
Yeah, it's Ms. Choksondik,
all right.
273
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,067
What do we do now?
274
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,512
Just reach in there and get
the sea men out of her stomach.
275
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,696
Oh, God, you guys
are such pussies.
276
00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,951
You guys!
277
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,077
Ham... Hammer...
278
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,246
I can't remember the code word!
279
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:06,333
- Can you see the Sea-People?
- No, just a bunch of goo.
280
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,210
You guys! Uh...
281
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,271
Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun,
dun-dun, can't touch this.
282
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,939
Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun,
dun-dun, can't touch this.
283
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,674
- Ms. Choksondik stinks inside.
- Yeah.
284
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,258
Dun-dun, dun-dun,
can't touch this.
285
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,259
Dun dun-dun-dun,
dun-dun, dun-dun.
286
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:17,969
Stop. Hammertime!
287
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,721
- Aah!
- Quick, hide!
288
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,686
Yeah, well, at least
we got Shannon Sharpe back.
289
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,193
All right, let's just leave the
semen sample next to the corpse.
290
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,404
I want to run
a hair fiber test next.
291
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,698
Hey, do you smell children?
292
00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,616
No, that's not...
293
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,286
- Got it!
- Let's go!
294
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,249
Blagh! Ugh!
295
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,254
Bring the World Cup
to South Park
296
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,131
so that a huge soccer riot
can destroy...
297
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,258
"Simpsons" did it!
"Simpsons" did it!
298
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,926
Take all the beer cans
in South Park
299
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,636
and have them shaken up
in a huge mixer
300
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,221
at the paint store,
so that they...
301
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,015
Episode 9F17, entitled
"So It's Come to This."
302
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,644
Fine! Then maybe I'll just
forget about destroying the town
303
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,605
and just run away
and join the circus!
304
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,858
"Simpsons" did it.
305
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,115
There, we just put
the Sea-People
306
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,520
back in the tank
with the others,
307
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,909
and nobody will ever know.
308
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,674
The blood is washed
neatly from our hands.
309
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,246
All right, children,
310
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,540
I got you 4 tickets
to Thailand and $300 cash.
311
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,459
It's gonna be
tough living for a while.
312
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,103
You might have to do
some things for money
313
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,503
you never thought
of doing before.
314
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,814
It's all right, Chef,
we got our Sea-People
315
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,089
out of the teacher's stomach,
316
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,734
and we put them back
in their aquarium.
317
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,178
Wait, what?
"Sea-People"?
318
00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,197
The Sea-People that we put
in the teacher's coffee!
319
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,140
Uh, maybe you better
start from the beginning.
320
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,411
...and then we put them
back in the tank.
321
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,645
Oh, children, you misunderstood!
322
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,190
Sea-People is
different from se-men!
323
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,858
- It is?
- Yes!
324
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,044
That stuff that was in that vial
didn't come from you.
325
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,487
It came from someone else!
326
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,655
I thought you children
took turns raping
327
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,825
and then murdered the teacher.
328
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,030
If they found somebody
else's sea men in her stomach,
329
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,662
maybe they'll find
our Sea-People, too!
330
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,122
Relax, children!
331
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,808
Drinking some brine shrimp
can't kill you.
332
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,043
Your teacher must have died
from something else.
333
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,211
Oh, really?
334
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,589
Aah! I'm so relieved! Aaah!
335
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,591
All right, you children
have had a long night.
336
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,343
Why don't we all get some rest?
337
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,012
And on Monday, I'll sing you
a song explaining the difference
338
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,597
between semen and Sea-People.
339
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,682
Come on, children,
I'll walk you all home.
340
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,017
Okay, good night, Cartman.
341
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,142
Night, guys.
342
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,937
I'm so glad we're not murderers.
343
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,565
Ah, it's so great
344
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,318
that everything
is finally back to normal.
345
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,210
You guys! Come quick!
346
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,628
You won't believe it!
347
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,089
Oh, no. What now?
348
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,132
Those sea men
from the teacher's stomach
349
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,027
somehow combined with
the remaining Sea-People
350
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:06,054
we had left in the tank,
and... Well, look!
351
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,105
How?
How did that happen?
352
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:17,041
I've been up for hours
doing some calculations,
353
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,610
and I've come up with my final
theory of composite dynamics.
354
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,821
Sea-People plus sea men
equals...
355
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031
SeaCiety.
356
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,425
They've already accomplished
so much.
357
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,617
They're like bacteria!
358
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,220
Small organisms live
much faster lives
359
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,787
and do things
at a much faster rate.
360
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,598
That's right, Tweek,
and if my theory is correct,
361
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,559
all we need is to get more
of the two reacting agents,
362
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,643
and we can really
see them thrive.
363
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,960
Tweek!
364
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:37,961
You go and send away
for more Sea-People
365
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,421
from the magazine ad.
366
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,982
Get at least five gallons
of them here, stat!
367
00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,400
Stan and Kyle, you go find
a bigger fishtank
368
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,466
to put them all in!
369
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,385
- What are you gonna do?
- Me?
370
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,471
I'm gonna go out on the town
and find 10 gallons of sea men.
371
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,641
I have done it,
General Disarray.
372
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,269
I've watched all 132 episodes
of "The Simpsons"... twice...
373
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,062
And I have finally
come up with something
374
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,439
that they have never done.
375
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,608
Behold!
This device that I made
376
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,277
will take the cherries out
of chocolate-covered cherries
377
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,697
and replace the inside instead
with two-month-old mayonnaise.
378
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,592
People will think that they
are gonna get a bite
379
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:08,992
of a sweet, delicious cherry,
380
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,785
but instead,
they'll get a mouthful
381
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,662
of yucky, sticky mayonnaise!
382
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,626
You've never seen this
on "The Simpsons," right?
383
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,211
No, I think "The Simpsons"
would be more clever than that.
384
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,797
Good! Then let us take
my machine outside
385
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:26,593
and make society
finally pay for shunning us.
386
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,386
Tonight on "The Simpsons,"
387
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,139
it's a laugh-a-rama
when Bart builds a machine
388
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,642
that takes the cherries out
of chocolate-covered cherries
389
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,561
and replaces it instead
with mayonnaise.
390
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,147
No. No, no! It can't be!
391
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,733
Uh-oh, "Simpsons" did it!
"Simpsons" did it!
392
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,568
No! No!
393
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,612
"Simpsons" did it!
"Simpsons" did it!
394
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,156
Don't have a cow, man.
395
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,783
Oh, sweet Jesus!
396
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,751
- Can I help you?
- Yes, my mommy told me
397
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,503
this is where I could find
some sea men.
398
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,214
- Your mom told you?
- Do you have them or not?
399
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,467
We sell semen, yes,
but not normally to children.
400
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,803
- What's your name?
- Frances Bellman.
401
00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,280
Frances, let's talk.
I don't want a bunch
402
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,681
of bull crap from you.
403
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,075
You don't want a bunch
of bull crap from me.
404
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,409
Right? Where does that
get us? Nowhere.
405
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,913
The truth is,
I'm completely certified
406
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,829
to handle sea men.
And though I may appear young,
407
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,247
I'm one of the leading sea men
authorities of the Midwest...
408
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,147
Up-and-comer.
You know what I'm saying?
409
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,524
Have my own business soon,
410
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,169
and I'll need people
to help me run it.
411
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:25,670
I'm talking about you, Frances,
and I'm talking
412
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,494
about a six-figure income...
How's that sound?
413
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:31,241
Everything we supply here
is by a quarter-ounce,
414
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,493
one donor, certified,
on record.
415
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,869
I see, very interesting.
416
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,332
- What are you doing?
- Let's take a look here.
417
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,128
Seems like quality stuff
you got here, Frances.
418
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,005
Yeah, good texture,
nice consistency.
419
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,607
Sea men must be alive
and healthy in there.
420
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,134
- I'll take five.
- Five? Vials?
421
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,511
- No, gallons.
- We don't have that much here.
422
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,514
Damn it!
Give me all you got then!
423
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,687
No! No!
424
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,481
"Simpsons" did it!
"Simpsons" did it!
425
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,242
Hey, let me on!
Let me on!
426
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536
Sit down and shut up!
427
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:21,291
Butters, have you seen Mr. Hat?
428
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,334
Hello, there, children!
429
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,963
Aah! Nooo!
430
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,924
What the hell's wrong with him?
431
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:33,529
Look, the Sea-People
have evolved
432
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,846
to an Egyptian-like culture!
433
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,848
Soon they'll discover
frozen foods! Aah!
434
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,308
That should be enough water,
Kyle.
435
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,869
You got the new
Sea-People packets, Tweek?
436
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,269
- Aah!
- Well, drop 'em in!
437
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,772
And I've got the sea men.
438
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,708
Wow, that's a lot of sea men
you got there, Cartman.
439
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,492
Yeah, I bought all
that I could at this bank,
440
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,420
and then I got the rest from
this guy, Ralph, in an alley.
441
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,244
- That's cool.
- Yeah, and the sweet thing is,
442
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:53,573
the stupid asshole didn't even
charge me money for it!
443
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,898
He just made me close my eyes
and suck it out of a hose.
444
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,661
Heh! There we go.
445
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:01,498
Okay, now let's put
the SeaCiety in its new home.
446
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,088
Nothing to do now but wait.
447
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,604
Close your eyes
and suck it out of a hose?
448
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:13,074
Uh-huh, suck it out
of a hose, yeah.
449
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,647
Oh, my God!
450
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,148
Their tiny
underwater civilization
451
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,734
has advanced hundreds of years!
452
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,696
Look! There's a library
and a temple and a...
453
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,868
Oh... they think I'm God.
454
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,078
Yes!
455
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,455
I am god of the Sea-People!
456
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,873
You hear that?!
457
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,544
I am god of the Sea-People!
458
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:51,047
I am master of their
great sunken empire!
459
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,175
Mom!
I'm god of the Sea-People!
460
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,428
That's nice, poopie.
461
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,851
And in other South Park news,
462
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,436
elementary schoolteacher
Ms. Choksondik's autopsy
463
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,082
has shown that
the semen in her stomach
464
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,274
belonged to school counselor
Mr. Mackey.
465
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:10,692
However, the semen apparently
466
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,443
did not contribute
to the death,
467
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,779
and so Mr. Mackey's identity
is to remain anonymous.
468
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,114
- Hey, Butters!
- Hey, Butters!
469
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,949
- Aah!
- Hey, what are you doing, man?
470
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,426
Cartman said he has something
really cool to show everybody.
471
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,910
- You got to come.
- Cartman?
472
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,543
Behold!
You all see my tiny minions
473
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,003
groveling at my likeness!
474
00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:32,213
I am Eric Cartman, God.
475
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,840
Hey! We paid for
the Sea-People, too.
476
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,675
How come they're not
making statues of us?
477
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,469
Be ye not jealous, Jew.
I am creator of all things, yea.
478
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,096
That is very impressive, Eric.
479
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,341
What do you intend to do
with your underwater society?
480
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:43,892
I'm gonna send a message
to my people
481
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,685
and tell them to
develop a great machine
482
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,353
that will shrink me
down to their size
483
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,189
so I can
live amongst them forever!
484
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,567
A-hah-hah-hah-hah!
485
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,754
What the hell is wrong
with you, Butters?
486
00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:58,156
They did that on
"The Simpsons"! Ha!
487
00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,909
"Treehouse of Horror,"
episode 4F02, "The Genesis Tub"!
488
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,411
Lisa loses a tooth,
and the bacteria on it
489
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,176
starts to grow
and makes a little society,
490
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,246
and they build a statue of her,
thinking she's God!
491
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,545
- So?
- Yeah, so?
492
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,648
Dude, "The Simpsons" has done
everything already. Who cares?
493
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,442
Yeah, dude. They've been on
the air for like 13 years.
494
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,735
Of course
they've done everything.
495
00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,028
Every idea has
been done, Butters,
496
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,345
even before "The Simpsons."
497
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,764
Yeah... In fact,
that episode was a rip-off
498
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,599
of a "Twilight Zone" episode.
499
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,727
Really? So I shouldn't care
if I come up with an idea
500
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,187
and "The Simpsons"
already did it.
501
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:32,607
It... doesn't matter.
502
00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:35,735
Everything is back to normal!
503
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,362
I think... I think I can go back
504
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,239
to trying to destroy
the world again!
505
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,366
- Good for you!
- Yeah, that's great, Butters.
506
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:42,509
Now get the hell
out of my room.
507
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,993
I feel like a spring chicken!
508
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,745
I'm ready to wreak havoc
once again!
509
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,538
Hey, look, everybody!
510
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,945
The other side of the aquarium
is building another statue!
511
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,796
Hey, it's Tweek!
512
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,589
Me?! Oh, man!
I don't want to be a god!
513
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:59,217
- That is way too much pressure!
- That is bull crap!
514
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,427
You better stop worshiping him,
Sea-People!
515
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,264
What's going on now?
516
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,890
The Sea-People
from Cartman's side
517
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,975
are suicide-bombing
the buildings on Tweek's side!
518
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:09,978
Yeah! Go!
519
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,230
Now what's happening?!
520
00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,648
The Sea-People on Tweek's side
521
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,042
just suicide-bombed
the Cartman statue!
522
00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,234
Oh, God damn it!
523
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,745
Oh, no!
Oh, the humanity!
524
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:30,206
Well, it was a nice project
while it lasted, boys.
525
00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,582
Yeah, but I guess this proves
526
00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:33,209
that war is
the natural order of life.
527
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,753
Why can't societies
just live in peace?
40031
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