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1
00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:11,721
I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time.
2
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,639
Friendly faces everywhere.
3
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,057
Humble folks
without temptation.
4
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:18,227
Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind.
5
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,562
Ample parking day or night.
6
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,564
People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!"
7
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,984
Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind.
8
00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,652
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
9
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,571
Timmy, Timmy,
liv-a-la, Timmy!
10
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:32,491
Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine.
11
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,912
Okay. Here he comes.
12
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,515
- Who wants to tell him?
- I'll do it.
13
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,583
Hey, fellas!
I'm glad you called me!
14
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,752
There's a pie-eating contest
down at the firehouse,
15
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,021
and I thought
we should all go!
16
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,671
Butters, could you
take a seat, please?
17
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,381
W-Well, sure.
18
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:52,011
Butters, we have to have
a very difficult conversation.
19
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:53,304
Well, what is it?
20
00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:55,473
Well, in the months
since our friend Kenny died,
21
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,078
you have really stepped up
as a friend
22
00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:58,768
and "filled the gap,"
so to speak.
23
00:00:58,893 --> 00:00:59,935
Well, it's my pleasure!
24
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,188
I love being
you guys' new friend.
25
00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:06,442
Yes. Well, Butters...
it's just not working out.
26
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,568
Not working out?
27
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:11,197
I'm afraid we're gonna have to
let you go as our friend.
28
00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:13,783
You're just too...
29
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,826
- Lame.
- Lame, yes.
30
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:17,286
But I can get better.
31
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,056
Butters, you don't really fit in
with us here.
32
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,223
We think it's best for all of us
33
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,767
if you look for friendship
opportunities elsewhere.
34
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,894
But we certainly want to thank
you for all your hard work
35
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,979
and attempts at being our
friend... lame as they were.
36
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,380
But I thought we were really
getting along great.
37
00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,346
I-I thought we were really
having fun together.
38
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:32,551
Yes.
Well, we weren't.
39
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,304
Please, fellas, don't fire me.
40
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,069
We're sorry, Butters.
Our mind is made up.
41
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,975
But we certainly want to
thank you for coming by.
42
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:42,645
You know your way out, right?
43
00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,684
He took that pretty well,
I think.
44
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:55,491
Who cares?
45
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,577
So let's get started on who's
gonna take Kenny's place.
46
00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,379
The world isn't fair.
47
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,172
I do everything
people ask me to.
48
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,007
I stand in the lunch lines
for them.
49
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,533
I buy tampons at the store
for them.
50
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,178
I go on "Maury Povich"
with balls on my chin for them.
51
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,267
And yet nobody accepts me.
52
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:24,270
I am an outcast...
a shadow of a man
53
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:28,774
who can find no companionship,
no love from others.
54
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,070
Fine! If I'm to be an outcast,
so be it.
55
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,714
I'm through doing
what others tell me to do,
56
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,338
and I am sick of this world
and the st...
57
00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:37,700
And the stinky people in it.
58
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,536
From now on,
I will dedicate my life
59
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,122
to bringing chaos to the world
that has dejected me.
60
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,082
I will become
the greatest supervillain
61
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,959
the world has ever seen!
62
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,962
Where I go,
destruction will follow!
63
00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,319
Prepare, oh, little town.
64
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,404
Prepare for the
greatest supervillain
65
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,908
you have ever seen...
Professor Chaos!
66
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,746
Butters, time for bed.
67
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:26,248
Okay, Mom.
68
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,250
Yes.
Uh, slee... sleep for now.
69
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,003
Tomorrow the chaos begins.
70
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,307
All right. We want to thank
everybody for coming.
71
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,098
This is a great turnout.
72
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,976
Uh, as you know, our friend
Kenny died a few months ago,
73
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,771
and we are still looking to fill
the void with a new friend.
74
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,940
Uh, you've all been selected
as possible candidates,
75
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,275
but unfortunately, there is
only room for one of you.
76
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,754
And so Stan and Kyle and I will
be spending the next few days
77
00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,923
going out with each one of you
and narrowing our choices down
78
00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,990
until we think we've found
the perfect friend.
79
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,700
Are there any questions?
80
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,870
What if we don't want to be
your friend?
81
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,040
Clyde... okay?
82
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,376
Now, the first thing
we have to do
83
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,962
is cut the list down
from 20 choices to 10.
84
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,398
So today we will all be going
to the amusement park together
85
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,632
to see who we want to cut.
86
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,401
Please keep in mind
this will all be videotaped,
87
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,219
so put on your
best friend faces,
88
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:21,470
and may the best friend win.
89
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,306
Oh, and we will be needing
a $10-per-person entrance fee.
90
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:50,332
Order 23 is up,
and, uh, order 24 is up.
91
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,016
Uh, waitress, I actually ordered
the chicken soup.
92
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:07,850
This is minestrone.
93
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,893
Yeah.
I had the minestrone over here.
94
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,026
I am Professor Chaos,
95
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:20,029
and now this puny world
w-will bow down to me!
96
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,540
So today, we went
to the amusement park
97
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,875
with all our possible friends.
98
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,000
It was a really fun time.
99
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,979
We rode all the rides,
and everyone got along great.
100
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,048
I think the person that stood
out most at the amusement park was Jimmy.
101
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,234
Well, the... the reason
I think I would make
102
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:44,553
the perfect fourth friend
is that I love telling jokes.
103
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,055
You know
who doesn't like to laugh?
104
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,140
Tweek... Now, there's
an interesting choice.
105
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,642
Tweek has a lot of qualities
that I look for in a friend.
106
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:53,062
What if they don't pick me?
What if they get us all, man?
107
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,272
I mean, Christ,
if they can get to the Pentagon,
108
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,940
they can get to us all, man!
109
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,419
I think I deserve to take
Kenny's place the most
110
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:01,963
because I've been hanging around
these guys for like five years,
111
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,655
and I never get to say
or do anything.
112
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,991
Yeah, I've always seen that kid
in class,
113
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,177
but he never does anything.
114
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,243
He's more like a prop.
115
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,078
Towelie is a tough choice,
116
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,097
because even though I can see
how always having a towel around
117
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,415
could come in handy,
he's just always so high.
118
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,584
Yeah, I really hope I win
because...
119
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,628
Wait.
What is this again?
120
00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,963
I have no idea what's going on.
121
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,941
We decided to get some
one-on-one time with Jimmy
122
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:22,633
and ride the log ride.
123
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,361
The great thing was
that because Jimmy's crippled,
124
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,762
we got to go to the front
of the line.
125
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,931
That was definitely big points
for Jimmy, you know?
126
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,266
But then we got to the ride
itself and...
127
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:33,936
Hey, I-I'm gonna need some help
getting in the log, fellas.
128
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,605
Oh, shut her down.
Someone needs assistance.
129
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,024
Oh, really?
That's gonna cost some points.
130
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,378
Right now I'd say if we're gonna
have a retard for a friend,
131
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,611
I'd have to pick Timmy,
132
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,214
because Timmy doesn't tell
lame jokes.
133
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,949
Boy, isn't this great, fellas?
A-Are we great pals or what?
134
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:47,950
One thing's for sure...
135
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,119
Picking our new friend
isn't gonna be easy.
136
00:06:58,919 --> 00:06:59,795
Kneel!
137
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,798
Kneel before Professor Chaos!
138
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:14,143
Oh, the look on their faces
when they got the wrong soup.
139
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,645
I love bringing chaos!
140
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,527
And that is only the beginning.
141
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,427
All right, everyone.
It was a tough decision.
142
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,691
But based on our time with you
all at the amusement park,
143
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,496
we have whittled our choices
down to 10.
144
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,932
If you receive a rose,
please stay.
145
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,350
If you don't,
please get the fudge out.
146
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,668
Kyle, will you announce
the people we want to stay?
147
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,793
Token.
148
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:42,962
Clyde.
149
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,131
Craig.
150
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,718
- Timmy.
- Timmy!
151
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:49,845
Oh, man, this is
too much pressure!
152
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:50,970
Pip.
153
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,139
Jimmy.
154
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,476
Jason.
155
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,936
Towelie.
156
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,313
Luigi.
157
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,775
Just one rose left, Kyle.
Who does it go to?
158
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,152
Tweek.
159
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,339
All right. The rest of you,
thanks for coming.
160
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:09,531
Get the fudge out.
161
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,702
I didn't make the cut?
Oh, God! I didn't make the cut?!
162
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,038
I didn't even get a chance
to have them get to know me!
163
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,308
Alright! Congratulations to those of you
selected to stay.
164
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:21,376
In the end, one of you will be
the new Kenny.
165
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:23,962
Good luck.
166
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,176
Good morning, Butters.
167
00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,220
It certainly is, Mother.
168
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,905
Did you hear about
what's been going on?
169
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,264
Some horrible new supervillain
170
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:37,434
made somebody get the wrong
soup order at Bennigan's.
171
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,061
No.
I didn't hear about that.
172
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,313
Y-You didn't?
173
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,233
Dad, could... could I see
the newspaper real quick?
174
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:44,900
Well, sure, Butters.
175
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,528
I was just about to get
some breakfast.
176
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,496
Nothing.
177
00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,206
Nothing!
178
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,166
It's the liberal media.
179
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,418
They're keeping the stories
of my deeds covered up
180
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,795
so as not to cause a panic.
181
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,507
Well, then I guess it's time
to step it up a notch!
182
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,515
Okay. Next.
183
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:26,775
This looks pretty good.
184
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,236
Yeah, it's not bad.
Next.
185
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:37,953
Timmy!
186
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,078
Next.
187
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,957
Okay, so now we're gonna see
188
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,459
how you all work as a friend
during class time.
189
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,145
Your performances
will be judged primarily
190
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,005
on how you help us cheat
and give us answers.
191
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,131
So good luck, everybody!
192
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,340
Sit down, boys.
193
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,466
All righty, then.
194
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,467
All right, children.
195
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,302
Before we get started,
196
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:56,555
has anybody seen the eraser
for the chalkboard?
197
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,744
It probably got knocked
on the floor somewhere.
198
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,888
Can you all please just look
around your desks for it?
199
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,484
Yes. Look around
for your precious eraser.
200
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,485
You won't find it.
201
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:11,987
That eraser is in my backyard,
202
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,156
buried three feet below
the surface of the earth.
203
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,325
And do you even suspect me?
No.
204
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,702
Now we shall see how you
all like your dear chalkboard
205
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:19,828
without an eraser,
206
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,664
with information that just
keeps piling up and piling up
207
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,000
until your minuscule brains
can take it no longer!
208
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,668
No?
Oh, well, never mind.
209
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,337
I've got a backup one
in the desk.
210
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:29,004
Okay.
211
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,274
Children, we're gonna learn
about multiplying times five.
212
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,342
So... you
all think you can outsmart.
213
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,676
Professor Chaos, do you?
214
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,678
Now, whenever we multiply
a number times five,
215
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,680
the result is going to end
in a zero or five.
216
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,682
- Ms. Choksondik?
- What is it, Butters?
217
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,185
Uh, I need to go to the bathroom
really bad.
218
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,771
All right, Butters.
Take the bathroom pass and go.
219
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,733
Okay.
So for instance, children...
220
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,568
All right.
I'm going to the bathroom now.
221
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,695
If anybody needs me,
that's where I'll be.
222
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,155
Just go, Butters.
223
00:10:56,323 --> 00:11:00,702
Okay. So for instance,
five times one is what, Eric?
224
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,120
Uh, what's the question again?
225
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,289
Five times one.
226
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,542
Five times one is, of course...
227
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,960
Five.
228
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,086
Five!
229
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,591
The time for fun and games
is over, feebleminded fools!
230
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:16,760
Who are you?
231
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,220
I am Professor Chaos,
232
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,472
bringer of destruction
and maker of doom!
233
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,058
Those who do not know me yet
shall know me very soon,
234
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,061
for the hour of chaos
i-is at hand!
235
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,567
Hey!
That kid took my last eraser!
236
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,735
Come back here, kid!
237
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,570
Well, I-I'm back
from the bathroom.
238
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,072
I really let one go in there.
239
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,342
Butters, did you see another
little kid run out of here?
240
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,242
Why, yes, I did.
241
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,244
But he pushed me down,
and I scraped my elbow.
242
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,663
Go on. Look at it.
It's scraped. Look.
243
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,583
Yes. Go on and see
the red mark on my elbow...
244
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:49,751
The red mark I made myself
245
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,254
to throw you off
Professor Chaos' trail.
246
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,255
It looks fine, Butters.
247
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,841
Okay.
Hold on and stay here, children.
248
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,096
You're such a fat ass, Cartman!
249
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,806
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're a stupid Jew!
250
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,725
Shut up, fat ass!
251
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:09,187
Oh.
Uh... you guys are dumb.
252
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,107
Okay. Craig.
Interesting choice.
253
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,152
Powerful stuff there, Craig.
Thank you very much.
254
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,114
It is almost complete...
The creation of my minions
255
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,451
who will assist me
in bringing terror to the world.
256
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,369
There we go.
257
00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:29,291
Yes.
My minions of... of chaos.
258
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,128
Not... Not now, my lovelies.
259
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,214
Your time to bring d-destruction
will come very soon.
260
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,343
Butters, a note for you was left
on the front door.
261
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:41,470
- A note?
- Here you go.
262
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,680
And wash your hands
after you touch those hamsters.
263
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,891
- You'll get AIDS.
- Okay, Mom.
264
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:58,236
So, someone has discovered
my horrible secret.
265
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,655
This could be a trap
set by the FBI.
266
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,158
Oh, I'll be at the docks,
precious FBI,
267
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,160
but it is I who will have
the trap set for you!
268
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,913
Come, my minions.
We haven't much time.
269
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:10,332
All right, everyone.
270
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,335
The time has come for us
to narrow the list from 10 to 6.
271
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,004
But first let us just say that
the people who we didn't pick
272
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,591
were only not picked because
they totally suck balls. Kyle?
273
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,383
They're not going to pick me.
274
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,593
I just know they're not.
275
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,345
Oh, Jesus!
I-I can't take it!
276
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,262
Token.
277
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,055
All right!
278
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,098
- Timmy.
- Timmy!
279
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,224
Tweek.
280
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,018
Pip.
281
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,728
Really?
I don't believe it!
282
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,063
Towelie.
283
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,022
What?
284
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,565
Just one more rose, Kyle.
285
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,441
Jimmy.
286
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,401
Oh, boy!
Oh, thank God!
287
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:39,736
Those with roses will move on
288
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,613
to the swimsuit
and talent competition.
289
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,115
The rest of you,
get the fudge out!
290
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:45,909
This whole thing is stupid!
291
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,553
You don't pick people
you want to be with
292
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:48,703
by making it into a game!
293
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,956
Somebody's a sore loser.
294
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,750
Clyde, I believe I said
get the fudge out,
295
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,377
which means kiss my fudgin' ass,
296
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,880
go fudge yourself, fudge you,
get the fudge out, Clyde.
297
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,516
Hey, Butters.
298
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,309
Oh, hey, Dougie...
299
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,728
Uh, I mean...
My name is Professor Chaos!
300
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,331
I saw you change
in the school bathroom.
301
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,232
You stole that eraser
in your class.
302
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,066
Very well!
303
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,511
You've called out
Professor Chaos,
304
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,070
and you also called out
your own demise!
305
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,822
Go now, my minions!
306
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:26,074
Go and take
this foolish mortal down!
307
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,285
Aw, minions.
Not... Not that way.
308
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,410
Come back, minions.
309
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,913
I'm not trying to call you out,
Professor Chaos.
310
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,249
I want to join you.
311
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,083
Join me?
312
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,794
Yeah, I want to join you
in your conquest of destruction.
313
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:38,795
But why?
314
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:39,921
I'm an outcast, too,
315
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,007
a frail child cast aside
by society.
316
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,926
I want to follow you in...
whatever you're doing.
317
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,596
Very well. You shall be
my accomplice in evil.
318
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,098
Together we shall bring
the world to its knees
319
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,601
a-and make all those who
banished us from society
320
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:53,435
run... wrecked.
321
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,979
Do I get a neato costume
made out of aluminum foil, too?
322
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,105
Well, sure, you do.
323
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,608
I am professor,
and you shall be my general.
324
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,319
From now on,
you are General... Disarray.
325
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,445
General Disarray.
326
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,113
Now let us go look
for my minions!
327
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,532
'Cause they ran away here.
Can't find 'em.
328
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,542
The swimsuit competition
really gave us a fresh look
329
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,461
at some of the candidates.
330
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,463
Well, I don't think
I did too well
331
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,964
in the bathing-suit competition.
332
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,984
But I can't wait
for the talent-show competition.
333
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,385
That'll really be my chance
to s-shine.
334
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,471
What a terrific audience.
335
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,640
So anyway,
a guy walks into a b...
336
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,975
A guy walks into a b-ba...
337
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,020
A guy walks...
A guy walks into a b-baa...
338
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,359
Okay. Wait.
339
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,240
No, no.
Wait.
340
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:54,703
Next, please.
341
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,831
W-What am I supposed to do?
342
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:57,832
Anything that'll impress us,
Token.
343
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,669
If you were our friend, how
would you keep us entertained?
344
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,254
Uh...
Oh! I know!
345
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,511
- Very nice.
- I like it.
346
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,556
Token was the definite winner
of the talent show.
347
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,282
Then we decided to take
everyone to a baseball game
348
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,225
to see how we got along there.
349
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,851
There goes a hit to left field!
350
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,186
And Foley's going to score!
351
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,188
Yeah! Isn't this great?
352
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,940
Drinks!
Get your drinks here!
353
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,525
Yes.
Could I have some tea, please?
354
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,193
You don't drink tea
at a baseball game,
355
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,318
you French piece of crap!
356
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,238
Oh. Very well.
Just some crumpets, then.
357
00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,532
All right! That does it!
Pip, get the fudge out!
358
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,200
Next!
359
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,202
Okay.
Let's try this.
360
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,104
Hey, what's wrong
with the Jumbotron?
361
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,417
People of Earth!
362
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:43,044
Your meaningless lives
are about to end!
363
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,713
I am Professor Chaos,
364
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,966
and this is my partner in evil,
General Disarray.
365
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,218
In the past few days,
I have rained terror down
366
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,095
upon the society
that shunned me,
367
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,724
and now it is time
for my final labor of loathing.
368
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:59,728
I am going to... flood the world!
369
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,146
- Flood the world?
- My God!
370
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,648
I don't want to die.
I don't want to die!
371
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:04,399
Oh, yes.
372
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,651
Every living creature
and every sacred building
373
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:10,405
will soon be under leagues and
leagues of cold and dark water.
374
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,574
And there is nothing you can do
to stop it!
375
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,952
General Disarray,
begin the flooding of Earth!
376
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,666
You brought this
upon yourselves!
377
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,918
You made the outcasts
of the w-world.
378
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:27,505
Now watch... watch as your
precious planet drowns!
379
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:28,798
Watch!
380
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,429
Dear Christ, who will save us?
381
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,014
We have very little time
to live.
382
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:39,059
How shall we spend
our last hours on Earth?
383
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,853
- Yeah!
- All right!
384
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,028
Our reign of terror is complete!
385
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:53,698
The t-turmoil has now come
full circle!
386
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,788
Hey, is the hose on full,
General Disarray?
387
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:00,913
It's on all the way.
388
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,165
All right, then.
389
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,793
N-Nothing to do now
but watch the world die!
390
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,722
Boy, this sure is taking
a long time.
391
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,229
So how do we all feel
about Towelie as our new friend?
392
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:25,414
I think Towelie is awesome.
393
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,124
Towelie's cool,
but he gets stoned all the time.
394
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,667
You can't really rely on him
for anything.
395
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,068
Oh, this is giving me
a headache.
396
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,027
Come on, you guys.
397
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,552
We can't take this decision
lightly.
398
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,090
Whoever we pick
is going to be the person
399
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,490
we do everything with
from now on.
400
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,775
You're right.
How about Timmy?
401
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,305
He's quiet
and takes direction well...
402
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:39,244
Really the perfect friend.
403
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,663
Yeah, but Timmy can be
really self-centered.
404
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,998
How about Token?
Token's a smart ass.
405
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,333
So?
You're a smart ass.
406
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,085
Yeah, but do we really need
another one?
407
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,211
Good point.
408
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:49,814
Hey, fellas,
I was just in the neighborhood,
409
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,048
and thought I'd stop by
this g-gift basket.
410
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:53,341
Oh, thanks, Jimmy.
411
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,343
There's some chocolates
and I-licorice
412
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,679
and some games and p-puzzles
inside.
413
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:58,680
- That's great.
- Cool.
414
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,015
Yeah. Well, I guess I'll be
seeing y-you friends later.
415
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,767
All right, Jimmy.
See ya.
416
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:03,892
Suck-up.
417
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,694
Not long now, General Disarray,
418
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,780
and our horrible plan
will be complete.
419
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,784
Hey, do you think
maybe we should build a boat...
420
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,870
You know, like a little raft
or something
421
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,180
so that when the world floods,
422
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,206
you and me and the minions
can live?
423
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,684
Oh, yeah.
I hadn't thought of that.
424
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:30,295
That's a pretty good idea.
I'll go get a hammer.
425
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:32,380
Hey.
Who is that?
426
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,601
- Is this it?
- Yeah. 213. That's the one.
427
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,856
Hey! W-What are you doing?
428
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,411
Ah! You may have won this time,
but I will be back!
429
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,579
What do we do now?
430
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,081
Well, I had another idea
of how to kill the world.
431
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,792
I thought it was almost
too horrible to even speak of.
432
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:13,838
But... But now they have left me
with no other choice!
433
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,423
Well, this is it.
434
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,692
We have made our final decision,
435
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,135
and one of you is who we will be
spending our childhood with
436
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,136
as our new friend.
437
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:23,431
Oh, p-please.
Oh... Oh, God, p-please.
438
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,600
Four friends.
Just one rose.
439
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:29,354
The moment of truth is here.
Kyle, who does the rose go to?
440
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:38,029
This is it, General Disarray...
My final solution.
441
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,157
What evil plot do you have
this time, Professor Chaos?
442
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,283
Simple, my dear general.
443
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,703
We are going to tear down
the earth's precious atmosphere!
444
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:46,371
Oh, yes.
445
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,456
My latest plan will melt
the polar ice caps
446
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,291
a-and burn all the world
with the...
447
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,877
With the sun's harmful rays.
448
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:56,297
Say goodbye to your precious
ozone and hello to chaos!
449
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,476
Okay. Hand me another one,
General Disarray.
450
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,238
Will Professor Chaos's
latest plot succeed
451
00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:22,156
and be the final undoing
of Earth?
452
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:23,658
And which boy has been chosen
453
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,702
to be the replacement
for Kenny?
454
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,997
And which of these six
South Park residents was killed
455
00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:30,832
and will never be seen again?
456
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,668
The answer to those questions
will be answered...
457
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:34,419
right now.
458
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:38,506
No. Tweek.
Ms. Choksondik.
34356
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