All language subtitles for South Park Season 6 Episode 17 Red Sleigh Down

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time. 2 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806 Friendly faces everywhere. 3 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 Humble folks without temptation. 4 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602 Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind. 5 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604 Ample parking day or night. 6 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,090 People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" 7 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,317 Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind. 8 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111 Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. 9 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,529 Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! 10 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:32,491 Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine. 11 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,000 A-All right. I-I'm done. 12 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,001 - You're done? - Y-Yes. 13 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,937 I-I've tallied up all the times you've been naughty 14 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,439 and deducted the times you've been nice. 15 00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:46,714 Yeah. So, how's it look? 16 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:48,924 It doesn't look good, Eric. It doesn't look good. 17 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,090 But I'll still be getting presents this year, right? 18 00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,617 A-Actually, it looks like, this year, 19 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,681 you're gonna owe Santa 306 presents. 20 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:56,265 What?! 21 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,309 4,312 instances of being naughty 22 00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:00,061 against three deductions of being nice. 23 00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,187 It's... It's just bad. 24 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,355 Three? You didn't deduct all my nice invoices. 25 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:04,690 Look! What about this one? 26 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,067 Well, I didn't think 27 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:08,152 "hitting Clyde in the balls with slingshot" 28 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,361 really counted as nice. 29 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,697 It was nice for Token. He laughed for like 20 minutes. 30 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,462 Y-You can't deduct things like that, Eric. 31 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:15,131 Santa will know, and he'll come after you. 32 00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,411 I have to get that Haibo robot doll, you son of a bitch! 33 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,222 Hey, I'm just your naughty-and-nice accountant. 34 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,790 Don't blame me for the numbers. 35 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,959 Haven't you seen the Haibo doll? It's like a pet... a robot pet! 36 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,965 You have to feed it and pet it, or else it dies, 37 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,147 and it's the coolest thing ever! 38 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:28,464 Santa has to bring me one! 39 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,229 W-Well, aren't there any other nice things 40 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,818 you've done recently we can write off here? 41 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,428 I-I brushed my teeth last night. 42 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,806 Brushing your teeth isn't naughty or nice, Eric. 43 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,571 It just... It falls more into the category 44 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,017 of... brushing your teeth. 45 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,560 There's still time before Christmas. 46 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,354 Can't I still make up for it? 47 00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:45,940 If you cured cancer and AIDS next week, 48 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,650 you would still owe two presents. 49 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:48,776 Jesus Christ! 50 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,195 I-I'm afraid you're gonna have to find a way to do 51 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,825 the nicest, greatest thing anyone has ever done... ever. 52 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,494 Good evening, everyone. 53 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,455 In a moment, we'll be lighting the South Park Christmas tree 54 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:02,832 to kick off the holidays! 55 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:06,961 Christmas Tree! Christmas Tree! 56 00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:09,672 Hi, guys! A very merry Christmas to you! 57 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,340 God bless us, every one! 58 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,716 What are you doing, Cartman? 59 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,820 I'm just letting you guys know how special you are to me. 60 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,220 But now, before we light the tree, 61 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,985 I think we should all reflect for a moment 62 00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:20,015 on those who are less fortunate than us. 63 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,561 Right now in Iraq, there are children who fear us 64 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,166 and what we might do to their country. 65 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,939 The threat of war touches us all. 66 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,400 But over in Iraq, there is no Christmas. 67 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:30,526 They have nothing. 68 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,194 I hate when the mayor uses Christmas 69 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,487 for her own political agenda. 70 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,989 Light the damn tree! 71 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:36,114 Yeah! 72 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,825 Christmas tree! Christmas Tree! 73 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,660 - Oh, my God. That's it. - What's it? 74 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:40,661 Don't you see? 75 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,830 This time of year, we should be bringing Christmas 76 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:43,955 to the less fortunates! 77 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,666 Follow me! 78 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,085 You guys, come on! Right now! 79 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:49,587 All right. 80 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:52,548 Here to light the Christmas tree is a very special young man 81 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,050 who shows us all the true meaning of Christmas... 82 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,176 Jimmy. 83 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,055 What a terrific audience. 84 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,908 Thank you for giving me this great honor, Mayor. 85 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:05,311 B-Before I I-light the tree, I was wondering if I could sing 86 00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:08,189 my favorite C-Christmas song real quick? 87 00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:09,315 Aww! 88 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,775 Well, we'd love a Christmas song, wouldn't we, folks? 89 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,612 Christmas songs! Christmas songs! 90 00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:17,448 All right. H-Here it goes. 91 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:21,952 On the first day of C-C... 92 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:27,208 Christmas, my true... t-true... true love. 93 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:32,546 Ga-Ga-Gave to m... 94 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:36,550 M-M-M-M-Me. 95 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:40,471 A par... a par... par... 96 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,805 Oh, no. 97 00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:45,392 And here's some old toys that I don't need anymore! 98 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,519 And here... here are some Christmas cookies! 99 00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:48,805 And some holly and mistletoe! 100 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,416 Oh, this will be the happiest Christmas 101 00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:51,732 the Middle East has ever seen! 102 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,418 Guys, get those lights down from the door. 103 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,152 We'll give them to the needy Iraqis, too! 104 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,504 Cartman, why are you doing this? 105 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:57,923 They don't have Christmas there, guys. 106 00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,007 We have to give it to them. 107 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,551 That's a retarded idea that won't work. 108 00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:01,676 Why are you really doing this? 109 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,078 Howdy ho! 110 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,832 Mr. Hankey! 111 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,584 Oh, I hate that stupid Christmas poo. 112 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,629 Hello, Mr. Hankey! A merry Christmas to you! 113 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,548 Gee whiz! Things sure look Christmasy out here! 114 00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,050 What are you boys doing? 115 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,935 Cartman is trying to bring Christmas to Iraq. 116 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,690 The people of Iraq deserve a good Christmas 117 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,888 just like everyone else. 118 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,431 Well, gosh, Eric. 119 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:27,393 Looks like you really have the Christmas spirit! 120 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:32,398 I know someone who can help... Santa Claus! 121 00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:33,065 Really? 122 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:33,899 - Really? - Really? 123 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,860 Sure! We should take this stuff to him right away! 124 00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:38,696 But how are we gonna get to the North Pole? 125 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,322 Oh, that's no problem! 126 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,242 We just need a little Christmas magic! 127 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:55,170 All aboard the Poo-Choo Express! 128 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,257 - Ooh, that smells. - Yeah. 129 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,134 Next stop... the North Pole! 130 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,052 Get the rest of the stuff, you guys! 131 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,446 I don't really want to get on that. 132 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,179 Me neither. 133 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,682 We have to bring Christmas to those less fortunates! 134 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,683 Now come on! 135 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,643 Let's go, Poo-Choo Train! 136 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,228 Poo-Choo! 137 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,483 Poo-Choo Train's laying down its tracks. 138 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,027 With a... Poo-Choo! 139 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,737 All the way and back. 140 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,281 Poo-Poo Train is my favorite thing. 141 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:25,534 Spreading Christmas joy as we ride and sing. 142 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,345 Dude, what the hell has gotten into Cartman? 143 00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:27,995 I don't know. 144 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,665 Christmastime wouldn't be the same. 145 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,669 Without hugs and kisses and a Poo-Choo Train. 146 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,547 And a p-partridge. 147 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,967 In a p-p-pear 148 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:45,804 T-T-Tree. 149 00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:49,475 On the third day of C... 150 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,102 C-Chri... Chri... 151 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:55,856 Here we are, kids... The North Pole! 152 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,861 - Finally! - God! It took forever! 153 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,529 Is that where Santa lives? 154 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:07,159 That's it... Santa's fortress of solitude! 155 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,913 Mr. Hankey! 156 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,666 We need to see Santa right away on urgent Christmas business. 157 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,502 Sure thing! 158 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,381 Hey, aren't you guys the Underpants Gnomes? 159 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:21,632 Ten months out of the year. 160 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,509 But this time of year, we help Santa! 161 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:24,885 Here he is! 162 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,888 Merry Christmas! 163 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,599 Howdy ho, Santa! 164 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,351 Mr. Hankey, how are you? 165 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:34,228 All ready for Christmas? 166 00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,938 I was just starting to look over 167 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,024 the new naughty-and-nice list the gnomes prepared for me. 168 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:42,277 Oh. Are the tabulations all closed off, then? 169 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,572 Oh, no. They keep it open until midnight of Christmas Eve. 170 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,700 Some kids actually try to cram in a lot of niceness 171 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:49,826 right at the end. 172 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,995 Oh, that's so lame of them. 173 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,164 Santa, my friends are trying to do something 174 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,041 very special this Christmas. 175 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,166 Tell him, Eric. 176 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,253 Well, Santa, it's just that I was thinking 177 00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,815 about all the people in Iraq who are afraid we might bomb them. 178 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,466 And I just thought, well, maybe it wouldn't hurt 179 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,636 to send them a little bit of our Christmas spirit as well. 180 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,138 You know, you're right. 181 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,850 Santa hasn't been to that part of the world in a long time. 182 00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:16,353 Perhaps Santa could bring peace to this whole situation. 183 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,646 That's what I thought. 184 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,065 Gnomes, load up the sleigh with toys! 185 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,443 Santa's going to make a special run! 186 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:23,652 All right! 187 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,573 And you boys can all watch me from our flight-control room. 188 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,241 Hooray! 189 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:34,538 And a p-p-partridge in a p-pear tree. 190 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:40,169 On the f-fourth day of C-C-C-Christmas. 191 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:45,257 My t-true love g-gave to m-me. 192 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,886 This is Santa's flight-control center. 193 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:51,430 From here, we can monitor Santa from satellite 194 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,891 as he travels the globe delivering presents! 195 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,016 Cool! 196 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,979 Hey, it looks like Santa's already made it to Baghdad! 197 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:02,983 Merry Christmas, everyone! 198 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,076 A merry Christmas to all! 199 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,664 Merry Christmas! 200 00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:23,754 I'm hit! I'm hit! 201 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,672 Sleigh is hit! 202 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:26,837 I repeat... Sleigh is hit! 203 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:29,259 Instrument failure at 0600 feet! 204 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,181 The sleigh is going down! 205 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,182 Sleigh is going down. 206 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:36,767 I repeat... Sleigh is going down! 207 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:37,935 Hang on, Santa! 208 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:41,563 Sleigh 1 is going down. He is going down. 209 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,816 Scramble the ground troops to stand by for deployment. 210 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,781 01 down. 01 down. 211 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,116 Repeat... 01 down. 212 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,580 We got a red sleigh down. We got a red sleigh down. 213 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,835 Red Sleigh 1, this is North Pole. 214 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,507 Red Sleigh 1, this is North Pole. 215 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,175 Mr. Kringle? 216 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,391 Jesus Christ! They killed him! 217 00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:20,602 No. Santa Claus can't be dead. He... He can't. 218 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,771 Why would Iraqis do that? Why? 219 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,191 It certainly doesn't seem very Christmasy of them. 220 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:29,319 North Pole, this is Santa. 221 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,946 Santa, are you all right? 222 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,322 What is your status? 223 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,408 Sleigh is down. 224 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,202 Reindeer... all dead. 225 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,122 Both Santa's legs are broken. 226 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,749 Santa's... very sad. 227 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,960 Santa will have to... 228 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,211 Oh, no. 229 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,629 They're coming for me! 230 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,674 Stay back, you bastards! Stay back! 231 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:53,844 Oh, no. 232 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,280 What are you gnomes sitting there for?! 233 00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,322 You have to go rescue him! 234 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,015 What the hell are we supposed to do? 235 00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,349 We're like nine inches tall! 236 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,686 Now I'm never gonna get my Haibo robot doll! 237 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,187 Is that what this is all about?! 238 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,749 You came up with this whole idea so you could get a stupid toy?! 239 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,109 It's not stupid! It's a toy that you can starve! 240 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,278 If you don't feed it, it dies! It's so cool! 241 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,487 Well, good going, asshole. 242 00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,573 Thanks to you, there's not gonna be any Christmas, 243 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,700 and there's no one left to help us! 244 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,619 Oh, Christ. 245 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,287 Jesus! 246 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:23,790 Hey, that's right. Jesus can save anybody! 247 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:27,419 Follow me! You can take Santa's backup sleigh! 248 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:37,304 On the f-f-fifth day of C-C-Christmas. 249 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:43,393 My t-true love gave to m-me. 250 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:47,230 Five g-g-golden. 251 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,692 R-R-Ri... Rings. 252 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:54,571 Ba dum dum d-dum. 253 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,949 Four call... ing b-birds. 254 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,663 We fed Jesus Christ's data into the autopilot. 255 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,873 The sleigh should be able to take you right to him! 256 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,209 I hope so, or else Santa Claus is as good as dead. 257 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,461 Here it is... Red Sleigh 2. 258 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,130 Come on, gang. It's up to us to save Christmas! 259 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,549 Tell Santa's workers to keep making toys. 260 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,510 We'll have Santa back in no time! 261 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:21,390 Uh, how... how do we start this thing? 262 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,600 You just have to call out the reindeer's names! 263 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:24,518 Oh, yeah! 264 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,186 On, Dasher, on, Prancer, on, Comet... 265 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,688 No! No! They're all dead! 266 00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,898 You have to call out the new ones! 267 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,401 On, Steven, on, Fluffy, on, Horace and Chantel! 268 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,320 On, Skippy and Rainbow and Patches and Montel! 269 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,784 Good luck finding Jesus! 270 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,288 Wow! Look, you guys! We're riding in Santa's sleigh! 271 00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:47,457 We should be able to find Jesus in no time! 272 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,501 I'm riding in Santa's sleigh. 273 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,962 So high above the trees at Christmastime. 274 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,630 With candy-cane wishes and smi... 275 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,549 What are you doing? 276 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,676 I'm having a precious Christmastime moment, Kyle, 277 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:58,510 if you don't mind. 278 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,221 Singing a Christmas song isn't gonna get you nice deductions. 279 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,466 It's because of you that Santa's sleigh got shot down! 280 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,368 It isn't my fault that Iraqis are filled with hate! 281 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,203 All I'm saying is it's gonna take a lot of singing 282 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,354 to make up for that! 283 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,690 It's Christmas magic time on Santa's sleigh. 284 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,108 So high in the sky. 285 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,652 Candy cane, children's smiles. 286 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,071 Six geese a-laying. 287 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:22,868 F-Five gold r... 288 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,120 R-Rings. 289 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:30,375 Ba dum dum d-d-d-dum. 290 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,086 F-Four calling b-birds. 291 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,924 Where are you taking me? 292 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,139 You are all being very naughty. 293 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,769 Why you come to Iraq, my main man? 294 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,731 To bring happiness and joy to the children. 295 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:55,901 And this is... this is what you think brings happy? 296 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,653 This is material. This is commercialism. 297 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,781 Your country is sick. Sick. 298 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:04,451 No, your country has just lost all its Christmas spirit. 299 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,661 What's going on here? 300 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,872 America wants to bomb my house, my main man. 301 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,582 They want to kill my wife and children. 302 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,084 We need to know... What is their plan? 303 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,587 I don't know. I live in the North Pole! 304 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,051 What are you doing? 305 00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,969 They say that the Chinese were the first 306 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,430 to experiment with electroshock to the testicles. 307 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,809 Oh, no. Not Santa's balls! 308 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,528 What else is America planning?! 309 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,448 I'm gonna fucking kill you! 310 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:46,034 You're not in a position to kill anyone, my main man. 311 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,994 I just want you to tell me America's plan. 312 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,748 Then we're in for a long night, because I don't know shit. 313 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:59,422 In nome del mio padre, siete guarito. 314 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,217 Benedica, Jesus, benedica. 315 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,470 Jesus, mio bambino no puoi sentirsi. 316 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,639 Il vostro bambino se arguisto. 317 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,307 Bene, benedica! 318 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,647 La morte rossa! 319 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,110 Howdy ho! 320 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,446 Jesus! 321 00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,365 Stan, Kyle, Mr. Hankey, and Eric Cartman. 322 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,033 What are you doing here, my children? 323 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,202 Jesus, Santa's sleigh was shot down over Iraq! 324 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,745 Santa? Is he all right? 325 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,706 We don't know. They lost all contact with him. 326 00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,111 We have to get him out of there. 327 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,292 Do you know a way? 328 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,294 Yes. Yes, I think I do. 329 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,881 We need a little Christmas miracle. 330 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,013 Lock and load. We're going in! 331 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:53,101 On the s-s-seventh day of C-Christmas. 332 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,353 My t-true love. 333 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,439 G-G-G-G-G... 334 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:04,070 You. You're a sick capitalist dog, my main man. 335 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,285 This is Baghdad? God. What a shithole. 336 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,163 I mean oh, wow. These poor, unfortunate people! 337 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:14,998 - Red Sleigh 2, come in. - We're here! 338 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,917 You're coming up on the source of the signal. 339 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,122 You're right on top of him! 340 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,669 He must be in that building below us. 341 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,087 Land it on the roof, Mr. Hankey. 342 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,673 Howdy ho, Jesus. 343 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,097 Wait here. I can handle this. 344 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,435 Yea, look upon me and know me. 345 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,981 My children, you should know something... 346 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,441 I'm packing. 347 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,028 Let's go! 348 00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:48,907 This is such a magical Christmas adventure, you guys. 349 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:55,622 On the el... e-eleventh day of C-Christmas. 350 00:15:55,747 --> 00:16:01,461 My t-true love gave to m-m-me. 351 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:06,800 E-Eleven p-p-p-pipers p-p-piping. 352 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,134 Drink it! 353 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,427 Drink the oil! 354 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,262 This is all you Western capitalists want! 355 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,516 Jesus Christ! 356 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,316 Oh, thank... thank God for you, Jesus. 357 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:24,441 Here. Can you walk? 358 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,695 Santa's legs are broken. 359 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,154 They are healed. 360 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,289 Santa. 361 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,334 I just couldn't do it. 362 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:45,422 I just couldn't let him live! He shocked Santa's balls! 363 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,425 More soldiers are coming! 364 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,176 Let's move! Move! 365 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:55,223 Eight m-maids a m-milking. 366 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,561 Get up the stairs! The sleigh is on the roof! 367 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,854 Jesus! Behind you! 368 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,859 Jesus! 369 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,904 No! 370 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,324 Jesus? 371 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,450 Jesus! 372 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,788 D-Don't worry, Jesus. It's nothing. 373 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,749 It's just a scratch. 374 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,752 You're a... bad liar. 375 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,338 Hey, b-but we sure gave 'em one hell of a fight, huh? 376 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,215 We sure did, Jesus. 377 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,719 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here. 378 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,679 - Santa? - I'm here, Jesus. 379 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,308 Don't... Don't ever... let them take away 380 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,310 our... our Christmas spirit. 381 00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,399 Oh, my God. Iraqis killed Jesus. 382 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:47,734 You bastards. 383 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,488 Come on, kids! 384 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:57,702 Get to the sleigh! Get to the sleigh! 385 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,208 Start the sleigh! 386 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:06,377 Uh, on, Steven, on, Fluffy, on, Horace and Chantel! 387 00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,046 - Uh... - On, Skippy and Rainbow 388 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,339 and Patches and Montel! 389 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,390 Look at me 390 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:22,143 I'm riding high in Santa's sleigh. 391 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,312 It's a Christmas special time for me. 392 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,437 Oh, shut up, Cartman! 393 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,649 Your sweet Christmas act isn't fooling anybody! 394 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,775 I-It's not an act, Kyle! 395 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,819 All I wanted was for these people to understand 396 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:31,945 what Christmas means. 397 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,446 You're right, kid. 398 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,199 What are you doing, Santa? 399 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,284 I came to bring Christmas to Iraq, 400 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,328 and, by God, I'm gonna do it! 401 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:57,762 Merry Christmas! 402 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,147 RPG, 4:00! 403 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:17,407 Boy, things are sure starting to look Christmasy now! 404 00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,785 Merry Christmas! 405 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,337 Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! 406 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:37,719 And a p-p-partridge. 407 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:43,224 In a p-pear tree. 408 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,936 That's it? 409 00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,147 That's it! The song's over! We can light the tree! 410 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,734 Oh, finally! 411 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,362 Go on, Jimmy. There's only five more seconds until Christmas. 412 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,872 Christmas is ruined again! 413 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,718 - Stan! - Kyle! 414 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,720 Mom! Dad! We rode in Santa's sleigh! 415 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:21,906 We brought Christmas to Iraq! 416 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:25,225 Everyone! Everyone, can I please have your attention? 417 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,852 Christmas is a very special time of year, 418 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,480 but this year, it almost didn't happen. 419 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:34,400 There's a man named Jesus who gave his life to save me. 420 00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:38,321 And so I declare that, every year on Christmas Day, 421 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:41,491 we should remember Jesus for what he did 422 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,159 and thank him for it. 423 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,745 From now on, Christmas will be a day 424 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:49,374 for remembering a brave man named Jesus. 425 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:54,587 Now, if you'll all excuse me, I've got a lot of work to do. 426 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,256 I'll help you, Santa! 427 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:57,924 Oh, and boys... 428 00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,593 you might want to check under the Christmas tree. 429 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:05,682 Merry Christmas! 430 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,525 Wow! Look, you guys! Santa got us all Haibo dolls! 431 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,819 Aw, God damn it! 432 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,071 Cartman, I thought all you wanted was a Haibo doll! 433 00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,365 Yeah. But not if you guys have one, too! 434 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,992 Now it's worthless and gay! 435 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,577 God damn it! I'll never try to be nice again! 436 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,455 All in all, I have to say this was a pretty special Christmas. 437 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,749 - Rm mrph, mrph rmh rmphm? - Oh, hey, Kenny. 438 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:34,114 - Dude, where have you been? - Rm, mrph rmhmhm rmphm rmh. 439 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:35,521 Come on! We got to tell you what happened! 440 00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:36,689 - I'm sure glad it's over with! - Yeah. 441 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,607 But I feel like things are finally back to normal. 442 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,631 Mrph! 443 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:44,762 Poo-Choo Train's laying down its tracks. 444 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,306 - With a... - Poo-choo! 445 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,016 All the way and back. 446 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,643 Poo-Poo Train is my favorite thing. 447 00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:54,272 Spreading Christmas joy as we ride and sing 32465

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