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1
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929
I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time.
2
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806
Friendly faces everywhere.
3
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599
Humble folks
without temptation.
4
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602
Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind.
5
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604
Ample parking day or night.
6
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,090
People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!"
7
00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,317
Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind.
8
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
9
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,529
Timmy, Timmy,
liv-a-la, Timmy!
10
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:32,491
Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine.
11
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,000
A-All right.
I-I'm done.
12
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,001
- You're done?
- Y-Yes.
13
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,937
I-I've tallied up all the times
you've been naughty
14
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,439
and deducted the times
you've been nice.
15
00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:46,714
Yeah.
So, how's it look?
16
00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:48,924
It doesn't look good, Eric.
It doesn't look good.
17
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,090
But I'll still be getting
presents this year, right?
18
00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,617
A-Actually, it looks like,
this year,
19
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,681
you're gonna owe Santa
306 presents.
20
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:56,265
What?!
21
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,309
4,312 instances of being naughty
22
00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:00,061
against three deductions
of being nice.
23
00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,187
It's... It's just bad.
24
00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,355
Three? You didn't deduct
all my nice invoices.
25
00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:04,690
Look!
What about this one?
26
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,067
Well, I didn't think
27
00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:08,152
"hitting Clyde in the balls
with slingshot"
28
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,361
really counted as nice.
29
00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,697
It was nice for Token.
He laughed for like 20 minutes.
30
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,462
Y-You can't deduct things
like that, Eric.
31
00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:15,131
Santa will know,
and he'll come after you.
32
00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,411
I have to get that Haibo
robot doll, you son of a bitch!
33
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,222
Hey, I'm just your
naughty-and-nice accountant.
34
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,790
Don't blame me for the numbers.
35
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,959
Haven't you seen the Haibo doll?
It's like a pet... a robot pet!
36
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,965
You have to feed it and pet it,
or else it dies,
37
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,147
and it's the coolest thing ever!
38
00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:28,464
Santa has to bring me one!
39
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,229
W-Well, aren't there
any other nice things
40
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,818
you've done recently
we can write off here?
41
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,428
I-I brushed my teeth last night.
42
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,806
Brushing your teeth
isn't naughty or nice, Eric.
43
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,571
It just... It falls more
into the category
44
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,017
of... brushing your teeth.
45
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,560
There's still time
before Christmas.
46
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,354
Can't I still make up for it?
47
00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:45,940
If you cured cancer
and AIDS next week,
48
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,650
you would still owe
two presents.
49
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:48,776
Jesus Christ!
50
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,195
I-I'm afraid you're gonna
have to find a way to do
51
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,825
the nicest, greatest thing
anyone has ever done... ever.
52
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,494
Good evening, everyone.
53
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,455
In a moment, we'll be lighting
the South Park Christmas tree
54
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:02,832
to kick off the holidays!
55
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:06,961
Christmas Tree! Christmas Tree!
56
00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:09,672
Hi, guys!
A very merry Christmas to you!
57
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,340
God bless us, every one!
58
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,716
What are you doing, Cartman?
59
00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,820
I'm just letting you guys know
how special you are to me.
60
00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,220
But now,
before we light the tree,
61
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,985
I think we should all reflect
for a moment
62
00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:20,015
on those who are less fortunate
than us.
63
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,561
Right now in Iraq,
there are children who fear us
64
00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,166
and what we might do
to their country.
65
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,939
The threat of war
touches us all.
66
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,400
But over in Iraq,
there is no Christmas.
67
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:30,526
They have nothing.
68
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,194
I hate when the mayor
uses Christmas
69
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,487
for her own political agenda.
70
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,989
Light the damn tree!
71
00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:36,114
Yeah!
72
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,825
Christmas tree! Christmas Tree!
73
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,660
- Oh, my God. That's it.
- What's it?
74
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:40,661
Don't you see?
75
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,830
This time of year,
we should be bringing Christmas
76
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:43,955
to the less fortunates!
77
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,666
Follow me!
78
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,085
You guys, come on!
Right now!
79
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:49,587
All right.
80
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:52,548
Here to light the Christmas tree
is a very special young man
81
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,050
who shows us all the
true meaning of Christmas...
82
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,176
Jimmy.
83
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,055
What a terrific audience.
84
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,908
Thank you for giving me
this great honor, Mayor.
85
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:05,311
B-Before I I-light the tree,
I was wondering if I could sing
86
00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:08,189
my favorite C-Christmas song
real quick?
87
00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:09,315
Aww!
88
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,775
Well, we'd love a Christmas
song, wouldn't we, folks?
89
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,612
Christmas songs! Christmas songs!
90
00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:17,448
All right.
H-Here it goes.
91
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:21,952
On the first day of C-C...
92
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:27,208
Christmas, my true...
t-true... true love.
93
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:32,546
Ga-Ga-Gave to m...
94
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:36,550
M-M-M-M-Me.
95
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:40,471
A par... a par... par...
96
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,805
Oh, no.
97
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:45,392
And here's some old toys
that I don't need anymore!
98
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,519
And here... here are
some Christmas cookies!
99
00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:48,805
And some holly and mistletoe!
100
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,416
Oh, this will be
the happiest Christmas
101
00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:51,732
the Middle East has ever seen!
102
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,418
Guys, get those lights down
from the door.
103
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,152
We'll give them
to the needy Iraqis, too!
104
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,504
Cartman, why are you doing this?
105
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:57,923
They don't have Christmas there,
guys.
106
00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,007
We have to give it to them.
107
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,551
That's a retarded idea
that won't work.
108
00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:01,676
Why are you really doing this?
109
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,078
Howdy ho!
110
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,832
Mr. Hankey!
111
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,584
Oh, I hate
that stupid Christmas poo.
112
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,629
Hello, Mr. Hankey!
A merry Christmas to you!
113
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,548
Gee whiz! Things sure look
Christmasy out here!
114
00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,050
What are you boys doing?
115
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,935
Cartman is trying
to bring Christmas to Iraq.
116
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,690
The people of Iraq deserve
a good Christmas
117
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,888
just like everyone else.
118
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,431
Well, gosh, Eric.
119
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:27,393
Looks like you really have
the Christmas spirit!
120
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:32,398
I know someone who can help...
Santa Claus!
121
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:33,065
Really?
122
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:33,899
- Really?
- Really?
123
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,860
Sure! We should take this stuff
to him right away!
124
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:38,696
But how are we gonna
get to the North Pole?
125
00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,322
Oh, that's no problem!
126
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,242
We just need a little
Christmas magic!
127
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:55,170
All aboard the Poo-Choo Express!
128
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,257
- Ooh, that smells.
- Yeah.
129
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,134
Next stop... the North Pole!
130
00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,052
Get the rest of the stuff,
you guys!
131
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,446
I don't really want to
get on that.
132
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,179
Me neither.
133
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,682
We have to bring Christmas
to those less fortunates!
134
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,683
Now come on!
135
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,643
Let's go, Poo-Choo Train!
136
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,228
Poo-Choo!
137
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,483
Poo-Choo Train's
laying down its tracks.
138
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,027
With a...
Poo-Choo!
139
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,737
All the way and back.
140
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,281
Poo-Poo Train
is my favorite thing.
141
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:25,534
Spreading Christmas joy
as we ride and sing.
142
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,345
Dude, what the hell
has gotten into Cartman?
143
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:27,995
I don't know.
144
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,665
Christmastime
wouldn't be the same.
145
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,669
Without hugs and kisses
and a Poo-Choo Train.
146
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,547
And a p-partridge.
147
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,967
In a p-p-pear
148
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:45,804
T-T-Tree.
149
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:49,475
On the third day of C...
150
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,102
C-Chri... Chri...
151
00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:55,856
Here we are, kids...
The North Pole!
152
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,861
- Finally!
- God! It took forever!
153
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,529
Is that where Santa lives?
154
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:07,159
That's it...
Santa's fortress of solitude!
155
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,913
Mr. Hankey!
156
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,666
We need to see Santa right away
on urgent Christmas business.
157
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,502
Sure thing!
158
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,381
Hey, aren't you guys
the Underpants Gnomes?
159
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:21,632
Ten months out of the year.
160
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,509
But this time of year,
we help Santa!
161
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:24,885
Here he is!
162
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,888
Merry Christmas!
163
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,599
Howdy ho, Santa!
164
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,351
Mr. Hankey, how are you?
165
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:34,228
All ready for Christmas?
166
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,938
I was just starting
to look over
167
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,024
the new naughty-and-nice list
the gnomes prepared for me.
168
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:42,277
Oh. Are the tabulations
all closed off, then?
169
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,572
Oh, no. They keep it open
until midnight of Christmas Eve.
170
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,700
Some kids actually try to
cram in a lot of niceness
171
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:49,826
right at the end.
172
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,995
Oh, that's so lame of them.
173
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,164
Santa, my friends
are trying to do something
174
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,041
very special this Christmas.
175
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,166
Tell him, Eric.
176
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,253
Well, Santa,
it's just that I was thinking
177
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,815
about all the people in Iraq who
are afraid we might bomb them.
178
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,466
And I just thought,
well, maybe it wouldn't hurt
179
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,636
to send them a little bit
of our Christmas spirit as well.
180
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,138
You know, you're right.
181
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,850
Santa hasn't been to that part
of the world in a long time.
182
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:16,353
Perhaps Santa could bring peace
to this whole situation.
183
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,646
That's what I thought.
184
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,065
Gnomes, load up the sleigh
with toys!
185
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,443
Santa's going to make
a special run!
186
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:23,652
All right!
187
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,573
And you boys can all watch me
from our flight-control room.
188
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,241
Hooray!
189
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:34,538
And a p-p-partridge
in a p-pear tree.
190
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:40,169
On the f-fourth day
of C-C-C-Christmas.
191
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:45,257
My t-true love g-gave
to m-me.
192
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,886
This is Santa's
flight-control center.
193
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:51,430
From here, we can monitor Santa
from satellite
194
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,891
as he travels the globe
delivering presents!
195
00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,016
Cool!
196
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,979
Hey, it looks like Santa's
already made it to Baghdad!
197
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:02,983
Merry Christmas, everyone!
198
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,076
A merry Christmas to all!
199
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,664
Merry Christmas!
200
00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:23,754
I'm hit!
I'm hit!
201
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,672
Sleigh is hit!
202
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:26,837
I repeat... Sleigh is hit!
203
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:29,259
Instrument failure at 0600 feet!
204
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,181
The sleigh is going down!
205
00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,182
Sleigh is going down.
206
00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:36,767
I repeat...
Sleigh is going down!
207
00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:37,935
Hang on, Santa!
208
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:41,563
Sleigh 1 is going down.
He is going down.
209
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,816
Scramble the ground troops
to stand by for deployment.
210
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,781
01 down. 01 down.
211
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,116
Repeat... 01 down.
212
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,580
We got a red sleigh down.
We got a red sleigh down.
213
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,835
Red Sleigh 1,
this is North Pole.
214
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,507
Red Sleigh 1,
this is North Pole.
215
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,175
Mr. Kringle?
216
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,391
Jesus Christ!
They killed him!
217
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:20,602
No. Santa Claus can't be dead.
He... He can't.
218
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,771
Why would Iraqis do that?
Why?
219
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,191
It certainly doesn't seem
very Christmasy of them.
220
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:29,319
North Pole, this is Santa.
221
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,946
Santa, are you all right?
222
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,322
What is your status?
223
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,408
Sleigh is down.
224
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,202
Reindeer... all dead.
225
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,122
Both Santa's legs are broken.
226
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,749
Santa's... very sad.
227
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,960
Santa will have to...
228
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,211
Oh, no.
229
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,629
They're coming for me!
230
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,674
Stay back, you bastards!
Stay back!
231
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:53,844
Oh, no.
232
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,280
What are you gnomes
sitting there for?!
233
00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,322
You have to go rescue him!
234
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,015
What the hell are we
supposed to do?
235
00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,349
We're like nine inches tall!
236
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,686
Now I'm never gonna get
my Haibo robot doll!
237
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,187
Is that what this is all about?!
238
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,749
You came up with this whole idea
so you could get a stupid toy?!
239
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,109
It's not stupid!
It's a toy that you can starve!
240
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,278
If you don't feed it, it dies!
It's so cool!
241
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,487
Well, good going, asshole.
242
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,573
Thanks to you, there's not
gonna be any Christmas,
243
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,700
and there's no one left
to help us!
244
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,619
Oh, Christ.
245
00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,287
Jesus!
246
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:23,790
Hey, that's right.
Jesus can save anybody!
247
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:27,419
Follow me! You can take
Santa's backup sleigh!
248
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:37,304
On the f-f-fifth day
of C-C-Christmas.
249
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:43,393
My t-true love gave to m-me.
250
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:47,230
Five g-g-golden.
251
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,692
R-R-Ri... Rings.
252
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:54,571
Ba dum dum d-dum.
253
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,949
Four call... ing b-birds.
254
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,663
We fed Jesus Christ's data
into the autopilot.
255
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,873
The sleigh should be able
to take you right to him!
256
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,209
I hope so, or else Santa Claus
is as good as dead.
257
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,461
Here it is... Red Sleigh 2.
258
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,130
Come on, gang.
It's up to us to save Christmas!
259
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,549
Tell Santa's workers
to keep making toys.
260
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,510
We'll have Santa back
in no time!
261
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:21,390
Uh, how... how do we
start this thing?
262
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,600
You just have to call out
the reindeer's names!
263
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:24,518
Oh, yeah!
264
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,186
On, Dasher, on, Prancer,
on, Comet...
265
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,688
No! No!
They're all dead!
266
00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,898
You have to call out
the new ones!
267
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,401
On, Steven, on, Fluffy,
on, Horace and Chantel!
268
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,320
On, Skippy and Rainbow
and Patches and Montel!
269
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,784
Good luck finding Jesus!
270
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,288
Wow! Look, you guys!
We're riding in Santa's sleigh!
271
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:47,457
We should be able to find Jesus
in no time!
272
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,501
I'm riding in Santa's sleigh.
273
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,962
So high above the trees
at Christmastime.
274
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,630
With candy-cane wishes
and smi...
275
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,549
What are you doing?
276
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,676
I'm having a precious
Christmastime moment, Kyle,
277
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:58,510
if you don't mind.
278
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,221
Singing a Christmas song isn't
gonna get you nice deductions.
279
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,466
It's because of you that
Santa's sleigh got shot down!
280
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,368
It isn't my fault that Iraqis
are filled with hate!
281
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,203
All I'm saying is it's gonna
take a lot of singing
282
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,354
to make up for that!
283
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,690
It's Christmas magic time
on Santa's sleigh.
284
00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,108
So high in the sky.
285
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,652
Candy cane,
children's smiles.
286
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,071
Six geese a-laying.
287
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:22,868
F-Five gold r...
288
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,120
R-Rings.
289
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:30,375
Ba dum dum d-d-d-dum.
290
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,086
F-Four calling b-birds.
291
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,924
Where are you taking me?
292
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,139
You are all being very naughty.
293
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,769
Why you come to Iraq,
my main man?
294
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,731
To bring happiness and joy
to the children.
295
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:55,901
And this is... this is
what you think brings happy?
296
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,653
This is material.
This is commercialism.
297
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,781
Your country is sick.
Sick.
298
00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:04,451
No, your country has just lost
all its Christmas spirit.
299
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,661
What's going on here?
300
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,872
America wants to bomb my house,
my main man.
301
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,582
They want to kill my wife
and children.
302
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,084
We need to know...
What is their plan?
303
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,587
I don't know.
I live in the North Pole!
304
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,051
What are you doing?
305
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,969
They say that the Chinese
were the first
306
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,430
to experiment with electroshock
to the testicles.
307
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,809
Oh, no.
Not Santa's balls!
308
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,528
What else is America planning?!
309
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,448
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
310
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:46,034
You're not in a position
to kill anyone, my main man.
311
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,994
I just want you to tell me
America's plan.
312
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,748
Then we're in for a long night,
because I don't know shit.
313
00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:59,422
In nome del mio padre,
siete guarito.
314
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,217
Benedica, Jesus, benedica.
315
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,470
Jesus, mio bambino
no puoi sentirsi.
316
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,639
Il vostro bambino se arguisto.
317
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,307
Bene, benedica!
318
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,647
La morte rossa!
319
00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,110
Howdy ho!
320
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,446
Jesus!
321
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,365
Stan, Kyle, Mr. Hankey,
and Eric Cartman.
322
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,033
What are you doing here,
my children?
323
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,202
Jesus, Santa's sleigh
was shot down over Iraq!
324
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,745
Santa?
Is he all right?
325
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,706
We don't know.
They lost all contact with him.
326
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,111
We have to get him out of there.
327
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,292
Do you know a way?
328
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,294
Yes.
Yes, I think I do.
329
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,881
We need a little
Christmas miracle.
330
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,013
Lock and load.
We're going in!
331
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:53,101
On the s-s-seventh day
of C-Christmas.
332
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,353
My t-true love.
333
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,439
G-G-G-G-G...
334
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:04,070
You. You're a sick
capitalist dog, my main man.
335
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,285
This is Baghdad?
God. What a shithole.
336
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,163
I mean oh, wow.
These poor, unfortunate people!
337
00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:14,998
- Red Sleigh 2, come in.
- We're here!
338
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,917
You're coming up on the source
of the signal.
339
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,122
You're right on top of him!
340
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,669
He must be in that building
below us.
341
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,087
Land it on the roof, Mr. Hankey.
342
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,673
Howdy ho, Jesus.
343
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,097
Wait here.
I can handle this.
344
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,435
Yea, look upon me and know me.
345
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,981
My children,
you should know something...
346
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,441
I'm packing.
347
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,028
Let's go!
348
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:48,907
This is such a magical
Christmas adventure, you guys.
349
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:55,622
On the el... e-eleventh day
of C-Christmas.
350
00:15:55,747 --> 00:16:01,461
My t-true love gave
to m-m-me.
351
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:06,800
E-Eleven p-p-p-pipers
p-p-piping.
352
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,134
Drink it!
353
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,427
Drink the oil!
354
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,262
This is all
you Western capitalists want!
355
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,516
Jesus Christ!
356
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,316
Oh, thank... thank God
for you, Jesus.
357
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:24,441
Here.
Can you walk?
358
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,695
Santa's legs are broken.
359
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,154
They are healed.
360
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,289
Santa.
361
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,334
I just couldn't do it.
362
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:45,422
I just couldn't let him live!
He shocked Santa's balls!
363
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,425
More soldiers are coming!
364
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,176
Let's move!
Move!
365
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:55,223
Eight m-maids a m-milking.
366
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,561
Get up the stairs!
The sleigh is on the roof!
367
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,854
Jesus!
Behind you!
368
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,859
Jesus!
369
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,904
No!
370
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,324
Jesus?
371
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,450
Jesus!
372
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,788
D-Don't worry, Jesus.
It's nothing.
373
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,749
It's just a scratch.
374
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,752
You're a... bad liar.
375
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,338
Hey, b-but we sure gave 'em
one hell of a fight, huh?
376
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,215
We sure did, Jesus.
377
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,719
Dude, this is pretty fucked up
right here.
378
00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,679
- Santa?
- I'm here, Jesus.
379
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,308
Don't... Don't ever...
let them take away
380
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,310
our... our Christmas spirit.
381
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,399
Oh, my God.
Iraqis killed Jesus.
382
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:47,734
You bastards.
383
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,488
Come on, kids!
384
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:57,702
Get to the sleigh!
Get to the sleigh!
385
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,208
Start the sleigh!
386
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:06,377
Uh, on, Steven, on, Fluffy,
on, Horace and Chantel!
387
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,046
- Uh...
- On, Skippy and Rainbow
388
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,339
and Patches and Montel!
389
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,390
Look at me
390
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:22,143
I'm riding high
in Santa's sleigh.
391
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,312
It's a Christmas special time
for me.
392
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,437
Oh, shut up, Cartman!
393
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,649
Your sweet Christmas act
isn't fooling anybody!
394
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,775
I-It's not an act, Kyle!
395
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,819
All I wanted was
for these people to understand
396
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:31,945
what Christmas means.
397
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,446
You're right, kid.
398
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,199
What are you doing, Santa?
399
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,284
I came to bring Christmas
to Iraq,
400
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,328
and, by God, I'm gonna do it!
401
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:57,762
Merry Christmas!
402
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,147
RPG, 4:00!
403
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:17,407
Boy, things are sure starting
to look Christmasy now!
404
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,785
Merry Christmas!
405
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,337
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night!
406
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:37,719
And a p-p-partridge.
407
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:43,224
In a p-pear tree.
408
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,936
That's it?
409
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,147
That's it! The song's over!
We can light the tree!
410
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,734
Oh, finally!
411
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,362
Go on, Jimmy. There's only five
more seconds until Christmas.
412
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,872
Christmas is ruined again!
413
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,718
- Stan!
- Kyle!
414
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,720
Mom! Dad!
We rode in Santa's sleigh!
415
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:21,906
We brought Christmas to Iraq!
416
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:25,225
Everyone! Everyone, can I please
have your attention?
417
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,852
Christmas is a very special time
of year,
418
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,480
but this year,
it almost didn't happen.
419
00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:34,400
There's a man named Jesus
who gave his life to save me.
420
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:38,321
And so I declare that,
every year on Christmas Day,
421
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:41,491
we should remember Jesus
for what he did
422
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,159
and thank him for it.
423
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,745
From now on,
Christmas will be a day
424
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:49,374
for remembering a brave man
named Jesus.
425
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:54,587
Now, if you'll all excuse me,
I've got a lot of work to do.
426
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,256
I'll help you, Santa!
427
00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:57,924
Oh, and boys...
428
00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,593
you might want to check
under the Christmas tree.
429
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:05,682
Merry Christmas!
430
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,525
Wow! Look, you guys!
Santa got us all Haibo dolls!
431
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,819
Aw, God damn it!
432
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,071
Cartman, I thought all
you wanted was a Haibo doll!
433
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,365
Yeah. But not if you guys
have one, too!
434
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,992
Now it's worthless and gay!
435
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,577
God damn it!
I'll never try to be nice again!
436
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,455
All in all, I have to say this
was a pretty special Christmas.
437
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,749
- Rm mrph, mrph rmh rmphm?
- Oh, hey, Kenny.
438
00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:34,114
- Dude, where have you been?
- Rm, mrph rmhmhm rmphm rmh.
439
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:35,521
Come on! We got to
tell you what happened!
440
00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:36,689
- I'm sure glad it's over with!
- Yeah.
441
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,607
But I feel like things
are finally back to normal.
442
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,631
Mrph!
443
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:44,762
Poo-Choo Train's
laying down its tracks.
444
00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,306
- With a...
- Poo-choo!
445
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,016
All the way and back.
446
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,643
Poo-Poo Train
is my favorite thing.
447
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:54,272
Spreading Christmas joy
as we ride and sing
32465
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